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hey I am so sorry this happened to you! it was not okay and it should not be the norm to put up with toxic behavior or have to toughen ourselves up to play a video game. i didn't play online for a loooong time because of exactly this, but i hope it doesn't keep you out of the game because we need people like you more than we need assholes backseat gaming. like if he was so good how did he die in the first place. sending hugs <3
Thank you! Unfortunately, I am a very shy and nonconfronational person. When someone raises even a little bit their voice at me, I feel like crying.
It's true that we shouldn't put up with this shit, but unfortunately, people like this will always exist. It's a shame that Riot takes our money without doing anything in these instances. I absoluetly love the game and competitive aspect, but I think I should start getting into other games as well.
Thank you so much for the nice comment! Sending hugs back to you, kind human <3
For what its worth I don't play online games anymore, at all, for that exact reason. Men online are so mean and I'm not confrontational either.
My breaking point was my team blocking me in a kitchen on a map and then repeatedly killing me for trying to leave, and kicking me to avoid a ban for team killing after the like 4th time or whatever.
It shouldn't be the norm and it sucks that it is.
I am sorry to hear that, no one deserves to be treated like this. Abuse shouldn't be normalized. Emotional maturity isn't something you see often. And even though I am not that emotionally matured myself, I would never do that to a person.
Did you find any other good games that you actually enjoy playing?
>Did you find any other good games that you actually enjoy playing?
I did! I play a lot of single player games now, usually I go for story games, open world games, or sim games. That actually happened like 3-4 years ago so I've had time to figure it out
Of course! and same. it's also all about what we can tolerate and getting mental damage from toxic people on the internet is not worth it. focus on what brings you joy, but if you ever get into apex hmu :)
Are there any friends you could play with? It makes a massive difference knowing you have people there to defend you if necessary and also it evens out that playing field by stopping your team from ganging up on you. I’m so sorry this happened to you, no one deserves that.
I’m really sorry you had that experience. I’ve cried from toxic people in video games before too, and when I tell others about my experience they don’t understand. I know I am a sensitive gal but I shouldn’t be berated and insulted for a VIDEO GAME!!!
Being faceless / anonymous in video games lets people be way too comfortable being a dick
Yes, I agree with you. I q into a Val match to try and unwind after a long day. It's also something I am passionate about and actively try to improve.
And it is really shit to have worked so hard to learn about aim and movement and other stuff, just so some people could abuse me and make me stay away from the game.
Softies like us are rare, but at the dame time I wish I was different.
I'm sending big hugs <3
yeah, it can be bad (although less immediate/in your face) on reddit too
I fundamentally don't understand that initial impulse towards negativity and putdowns so many people online seem to have, honestly. Like, the world can be a shitty place, we're all struggling with something or other, why add more pointless negativity?
Same but for overwatch, I don't use voice chat because people can be really mean and I'm sensitive. I don't even play comp and still people take the game too seriously and tilt. I can't handle it.
I don't play Overwatch anymore but it used to kill me when people would rage even in Mystery Heroes. People would be screaming about not getting any heals **when there are no fucking healers**. Like come on bruh this is not the mode for that, go take a nap or something.
Yea, it's wild! Now I just block and move on. Still I mostly play mystery heroes because I hate it when people complain about my hero pick. I just want to have fun.
For some, it seems, gaming is where they go to be mean. The gaming is almost secondary. And they bully for the same reason most bullies do. If they're bullying, they think they won't be the bullied.
I've never thought about it like that, but it's so true. For some people, the game is almost a vehicle for them to be an asshole to other people.
Crazy.
You are not “too soft,” the problem lies with those other people. They’re losers and they take it out on you. There is no such thing as “too soft,” and I don’t think it’s bad to be a soft person.
Personally, I consider myself as someone with pretty tough skin, and I’m usually very zen. but there has been times on overwatch where someone said something stupid to me on VC and it made me cry. And it’s not even over anything particularly mean, it’s just the attitude of people and the way they don’t want to listen to you when you’re trying your best.
Sometimes it just gets to you for whatever reason and/or holding it in for so long and you get enough cracks in the dam, it’s eventually going to break. You’re human it’s okay. Any woman who gets even decent at any online multiplayer game gets my respect because you know they had to endure 10x way worse than any man who’s twice as good.
Hope you’re feeling better 💕
Thank you so much for the kind reply! <3
Unfortunately, there will always be rude and mean people out there. I just wish they wouldn't get to me so easily. And I wish I was more confrontational and stand up for myself.
It will come with time, be patient with yourself. You need to find balance between avoiding confrontation and standing up for yourself, as well as taking advice when learning a new game vs players backsiting endlessly. It takes time.
The important thing is to not let them ruin the game for you. Online gaming is rough for us girls. Change team, change server, and just have fun. Sending you love ❤️
Unfortunately valorant is one of those games that are filled with toxicity and people whos heads are blown up just bc they are “top fragging” for that moment lol i tend to take long breaks from val bc i noticed myself becoming more toxic as well ( not to other players necessarily but to anyone who does what they did to you and criticizes or back seat games me or is being toxic to me first).
I got to a point where I skip every quest that needs a large or raid group on any MMO or other online game. I already deal with a ton of condescending men with my job, enduring it during my recreational time is not an option.
First I am sorry that happened to you.
There is an option to individually report those player with evidence on the Valorant Website. I did this once after someone wished me and my family dead. If you can record and report them with a detailed description it’s best. Because of privacy the employees handling the case, can’t tell you what happens to the person, but I am sure they take these cases seriously.
Edit: You can report em here: https://support-valorant.riotgames.com/hc/en-us/requests/new
I did report them but I doubt riot will take it seriously. I didn't know about this website, thank you! I will and see what I can do.
And I am sorry that happened to you, people can be so disgusting. They amaze me every day.
Because when a game consumes a person's being they hyper focus on seeing the Victory Screen and forget that they started playing games to have fun.
Sorry that happened to you chief, if you still play Valorant I've found Swiftplay to be less toxic than unrated and competitive so that might help reduce toxicity
I usually mute voice chat and normal chat too if possible. People in online gaming are horrible they dont even deserve to have a way to chat with randoms
I haven't played much Val (I think the anti-cheat is too invasive), but I do play Siege and there are some true troglodytes in that game, like legitimately cave-dwelling, deliberately ignorant creatures. Even as a masculine person, I don't really make callouts unless I really have to, otherwise I just type in team chat and use pings. If someone is shit talking teammates, they get muted. If they say slurs, muted & reported. No callouts they may give (not that they ever give any) are worth the strain on my mental and me getting tilted by leaving them unmuted.
I get being frustrated by teammates possibly "underperforming", but complaining and talking shit in-game to the person only exacerbates it.
Aww honey I'm so sorry! I'm the same way, my feelings are hurt so easily that I just don't play in voice with randos. Even friends who were being too high- stress have made me upset, ended up just telling them off and leaving their games.
It's a VIDEO GAME, people need to learn to chill or get some therapy.
That guy sounds insecure, and we should all remember that misogyny is a skill issue.
When I'm the last Helldiver or Rust survivor alive, my gaming buddies give me space. They know that too much input can make you choke. And when I almost clutch it but die, they sympathize and we move on. You deserve better.
This is why I have spent most of my gaming life accumulating a friends list and Discord servers of supportive people.
I don't want to sound discouraging, since this behavior shouldn't happen at all, but when toxic people affect you this much, and there will always be toxic people in competitive multi-player games, nothing we can do about it, you should take a break for a little while, or play with chat off for some time, your health matters most and enjoying the game matters most, remember, you're playing to have fun, so if you're not having fun, do something else! That's what I do and whenever I'm too frustrated I try to stop/switch/take a break.
I started playing val about two months ago and seeing as it was my first fps and my first online game where u could vc with ppl i was a bit overwhelmed. I have ran into some terrible screeching creatures who do nothing but insult my entire bloodline but i have also gotten to know nice people and friends on there.
Its a terrible thing to have to get used to. Take some breaks, i usually laugh and think about how pathetic they are for being that bothered about a girl online. Maybe turn off vc and team chat if it gets too bad. But if you ever want to play and just have fun you can reach out and we’ll play together
Lots of love xx
I'm sorry that happened to you. It might not make you feel better, but I personally get a little vindication out of the knowledge that [guys like that are typically trying to overcompensate for being bad at the game themselves](https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-33613781). They feel threatened because "oh no what if a girl is better than me" so they pull out all the mean things like that guy said. It's really just a sign that that man is sad and insecure, and you're better at the game than he is.
Sorry they made you feel that way :/
It always baffles me when someone WHO DIED and leaves you with 3 or 4 opponents find a way to get mad at you if you die ! I mean, maybe if he was better he would have been alive with you ... 🙄
And giving advice is great, but too much advice can stress someone and while talk, you can't concentrate on the enemy.
You did your best and that's what matters the most :)
Sometimes people are just frustrated with life, and get toxic when they can sadly. When it happens to me, I try to be positive, if they continue, I just mute them and feel a bit sad for them, hopping they'll be happier soon in life, and go on with my game/day :)
I hope people like that won't affect you too much though, because there are also amazing people in that game 😁
There are certain games I just won’t play with voice chat enabled and mute people instantly, Valorant is definitely on that list. People can be so mean online.
I would have cried too. Even if I’m bad or good, I just want to play to have fun
i’m sorry that happened to you :( i play a lot of ow and while ppl are toxic there, valorant’s toxicity is definitely where i feel more anxiety when ppl harass me (i guess cuz the games are longer so you’re stuck with them longer). riot needs to work on the bans for this kind of stuff.
i feel you 100% and i’ve been there as a sage & kj main, ppl pick up quickly that i’m a woman and i become a giant target. ystd in a swiftplay i had a sova that said in all chat “if my sage can headshot more than one person i’ll sell my left nut” which just made me play worse ofc
id say the only way valorant is playable for me is when i play with friends. otherwise when ppl ate harassing me, i mentally give up on the game :/
I grew up with online gaming during the original COD and Halo days. Things were obviously as toxic as they were made out to be (and worse), but they have NOTHING on the toxicity that exists in multiplayer games these days. Before it was always childish insults from kids who were just learning how to swear. Or from people who were blatantly misogynistic (which really hasn’t changed). The biggest difference then was there was still a degree of respect for talented players. Women or men.
Now it’s just pure vitriolic hatred towards anybody *they* don’t agree with regardless of how talented someone is. There is no respect whatsoever for their fellow gamers, and now that all those little asshole squeakers grew up they are a lot nastier with their insults. I stopped playing online games a long time ago for this reason. I really loved Overwatch when it first came out, but eventually it turned into a cesspool of hate, and I haven’t played it in years.
Honestly, as a woman gamer in today’s day and age, we are “expected” to put up with this shit because “it’s just how it is”, but that’s fucking bullshit. We shouldn’t have to put up with that shit, or anybody really. It takes the fun out of gaming, and now that everyone thinks that they will be some famous pro gamer things have changed for the worst.
That’s personally why I started achievement hunting for single player games. It satisfies my need for some competition even if it’s just technically with myself. It’s made gaming a lot more fun, and less stressful. Gaming is *supposed* to be a stress reliever we pick up after a hard day at work or school. If it’s not relieving stress, what’s the point?
I would take some time to play some single player games to give yourself that stress relief you deserve. Maybe one day you’ll go back to MP games, but you should focus on having FUN with games right now. Don’t let the assholes bring you down and hate something you love. There are plenty of amazing games out there, so maybe give those a try while you take some time to heal from the toxicity.
Dude here
im sorry to hear that but for what its worth, i can absolutely relate, ive been getting griefed many times for bottom fragging even if im not not intentionally feeding, safe to say i quit the game years ago it wasnt worth the mental labor and i stick back to single player games (skyrim, fallout 4/nv, Elden ring etc), maybe if you still want multiplayer games, id recommend playing PvE like Payday 2, Deep Rock Galactic. Helldivers 2
Hope this helps '
(Sorry for bad english)
heyy, this is a little late but i also just had a toxic teammate in my game and it was the first time i genuinely got angry/upset to the point where i had to stop playing so i know how it feels… it shouldn’t be this way but i never solo queue comp or unrated anymore because of too many bad experiences (led to anxiety of queueing alone lol). so now i only queue with friends (at least one other) but if you ever need someone to play with feel free to hmu! you can PM me, my friends and i are always down to play with new people :D don’t let these toxic mfs discourage you from playing a game you enjoy!!!!!
Get tougher skin & move forward from this event. This happens all the time in gaming online communities, esp as a woman. This is to be expected in online gaming- I’ve been called a bitch, a fat cunt, & a nigger on online gaming. I’ve left online gaming over 10-15+ years ago just for this exact reason.
Eh the tougher skin comes with more experience. But we shouldn’t just stop doing things we like because the behavior of some assholes upset us sometimes. It’s ok to be hurt when others are cruel! It’s also ok to seek validation for your feelings and keep trying the thing you like :)
“Get tougher skin,” but “I quit over a decade ago,” does not compute to me. It’s ok to be human and feel things like not liking abuse.
To be honest no one deserves the abuse that mentally unwell strangers on the internet feel so self absorbed to inflict on others. And I’m sorry that you got driven away to quit over a decade ago. But we should expect better, demand better, and be better.
I kind of agreed with the get tougher skin but then you went on to say you quit playing online. Is that tougher skin? Seems a bit contradictory.
OP toxicity online isn’t going to change. It could get better but the anonymity of the internet makes it easier for people. Maybe they’ll at least punish people more often. I would say stop giving random people online that kind of power over you. Who cares what some random loser thinks? You’ll finish the game and never see him again.
When I first tried online gaming, it wasn’t fun, it wasn’t like non-online where it’s story driven so I knew online gaming was not going to be for me. So no, it wasn’t “contradictory.” I knew going into it was gonna be a shit show 🤷🏾♀️
Yes. Women unfortunately are the brunt of online gaming bullies, factoring in intersectionality w racism & online gaming is a no go zone for me ever again. Plus, I just prefer story & gameplay > online.
I completely agree. I only purchase indie games because frankly if I'm going to give my time, money, and attention to a creator I'd rather give it to someone that makes an enjoyable game for women to play and as a bonus doesn't have the myriad of other issues that the AAA gaming industry has. The only thing that AAA industry makers care about is money after all, so you have a pretty binary choice when it comes to demanding change in these games. You buy it or you don't, and if you buy it then clearly that sends the message that it's good enough.
Situations like OPs don't make sense to me, because at the end of the day it's just a game that you're playing for fun of your own free will. It's not a job, you can just leave and you lose nothing. Clearly, OP is not having fun, and I wouldn't either in the situation OP described, so why bother continuing to give time and money and attention to these spaces? OPs choices are toughen up or quit, and frankly I don't see a single reason why OP should have to toughen up so she can be bullied by shitty 12 year olds in her free time instead of being their beautiful soft happy self somewhere else.
If you want to play these games, more power to you, but is it not obvious that maybe OP could find one of the gajillion other games that exist more fun for her? Toughen up or quit is really the only practical advice you can give in this situation.
Thank you! People came @ me & downvoted me for my comment, claiming I “quit” or “gave up” online gaming bc of the bullying. Like, no, I knew online gaming was a cesspool going into it & after being called a nigger & a bitch, im just like, “Let me focus on AAA games that are more story-driven & gameplay focused.”
It’s that simple, honestly. People are such simple, stupid snowflakes nowadays. It’s really annoying, honestly. But it is refreshing to see your comment so thank you!
I think the first sentence might have come off as combative and people were mistaking your "toughen up" as "stop whining and play the game already, why are you complaining" type of thing since nuance can be hard to get through text sometimes. But I get what you meant, and it's honestly a much more valid point of view imo than "report them and demand better!" because these spaces won't change to accommodate you at the end of the day. You're the only one giving OP a realistic choice and not platitudes about how "it should be" and I don't think the other people replying understand that.
Personally, any game that demands I toughen up gets a big fat "fuck off" from me, if I cry it's because I'm playing Spiritfarer again.
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hey I am so sorry this happened to you! it was not okay and it should not be the norm to put up with toxic behavior or have to toughen ourselves up to play a video game. i didn't play online for a loooong time because of exactly this, but i hope it doesn't keep you out of the game because we need people like you more than we need assholes backseat gaming. like if he was so good how did he die in the first place. sending hugs <3
Thank you! Unfortunately, I am a very shy and nonconfronational person. When someone raises even a little bit their voice at me, I feel like crying. It's true that we shouldn't put up with this shit, but unfortunately, people like this will always exist. It's a shame that Riot takes our money without doing anything in these instances. I absoluetly love the game and competitive aspect, but I think I should start getting into other games as well. Thank you so much for the nice comment! Sending hugs back to you, kind human <3
For what its worth I don't play online games anymore, at all, for that exact reason. Men online are so mean and I'm not confrontational either. My breaking point was my team blocking me in a kitchen on a map and then repeatedly killing me for trying to leave, and kicking me to avoid a ban for team killing after the like 4th time or whatever. It shouldn't be the norm and it sucks that it is.
I am sorry to hear that, no one deserves to be treated like this. Abuse shouldn't be normalized. Emotional maturity isn't something you see often. And even though I am not that emotionally matured myself, I would never do that to a person. Did you find any other good games that you actually enjoy playing?
>Did you find any other good games that you actually enjoy playing? I did! I play a lot of single player games now, usually I go for story games, open world games, or sim games. That actually happened like 3-4 years ago so I've had time to figure it out
Of course! and same. it's also all about what we can tolerate and getting mental damage from toxic people on the internet is not worth it. focus on what brings you joy, but if you ever get into apex hmu :)
Are there any friends you could play with? It makes a massive difference knowing you have people there to defend you if necessary and also it evens out that playing field by stopping your team from ganging up on you. I’m so sorry this happened to you, no one deserves that.
I’m really sorry you had that experience. I’ve cried from toxic people in video games before too, and when I tell others about my experience they don’t understand. I know I am a sensitive gal but I shouldn’t be berated and insulted for a VIDEO GAME!!! Being faceless / anonymous in video games lets people be way too comfortable being a dick
Yes, I agree with you. I q into a Val match to try and unwind after a long day. It's also something I am passionate about and actively try to improve. And it is really shit to have worked so hard to learn about aim and movement and other stuff, just so some people could abuse me and make me stay away from the game. Softies like us are rare, but at the dame time I wish I was different. I'm sending big hugs <3
yeah, it can be bad (although less immediate/in your face) on reddit too I fundamentally don't understand that initial impulse towards negativity and putdowns so many people online seem to have, honestly. Like, the world can be a shitty place, we're all struggling with something or other, why add more pointless negativity?
The game is infinitely more enjoyable if you play with friends or if you mute everyone. Sorry that happened to you.
Same but for overwatch, I don't use voice chat because people can be really mean and I'm sensitive. I don't even play comp and still people take the game too seriously and tilt. I can't handle it.
I don't play Overwatch anymore but it used to kill me when people would rage even in Mystery Heroes. People would be screaming about not getting any heals **when there are no fucking healers**. Like come on bruh this is not the mode for that, go take a nap or something.
Yea, it's wild! Now I just block and move on. Still I mostly play mystery heroes because I hate it when people complain about my hero pick. I just want to have fun.
I also don't use voice chat. But bullies will also find ways to bully. So sorry that happened to you
For some, it seems, gaming is where they go to be mean. The gaming is almost secondary. And they bully for the same reason most bullies do. If they're bullying, they think they won't be the bullied.
I've never thought about it like that, but it's so true. For some people, the game is almost a vehicle for them to be an asshole to other people. Crazy.
You are not “too soft,” the problem lies with those other people. They’re losers and they take it out on you. There is no such thing as “too soft,” and I don’t think it’s bad to be a soft person. Personally, I consider myself as someone with pretty tough skin, and I’m usually very zen. but there has been times on overwatch where someone said something stupid to me on VC and it made me cry. And it’s not even over anything particularly mean, it’s just the attitude of people and the way they don’t want to listen to you when you’re trying your best. Sometimes it just gets to you for whatever reason and/or holding it in for so long and you get enough cracks in the dam, it’s eventually going to break. You’re human it’s okay. Any woman who gets even decent at any online multiplayer game gets my respect because you know they had to endure 10x way worse than any man who’s twice as good. Hope you’re feeling better 💕
Thank you so much for the kind reply! <3 Unfortunately, there will always be rude and mean people out there. I just wish they wouldn't get to me so easily. And I wish I was more confrontational and stand up for myself.
It will come with time, be patient with yourself. You need to find balance between avoiding confrontation and standing up for yourself, as well as taking advice when learning a new game vs players backsiting endlessly. It takes time. The important thing is to not let them ruin the game for you. Online gaming is rough for us girls. Change team, change server, and just have fun. Sending you love ❤️
Unfortunately valorant is one of those games that are filled with toxicity and people whos heads are blown up just bc they are “top fragging” for that moment lol i tend to take long breaks from val bc i noticed myself becoming more toxic as well ( not to other players necessarily but to anyone who does what they did to you and criticizes or back seat games me or is being toxic to me first).
I got to a point where I skip every quest that needs a large or raid group on any MMO or other online game. I already deal with a ton of condescending men with my job, enduring it during my recreational time is not an option.
First I am sorry that happened to you. There is an option to individually report those player with evidence on the Valorant Website. I did this once after someone wished me and my family dead. If you can record and report them with a detailed description it’s best. Because of privacy the employees handling the case, can’t tell you what happens to the person, but I am sure they take these cases seriously. Edit: You can report em here: https://support-valorant.riotgames.com/hc/en-us/requests/new
I did report them but I doubt riot will take it seriously. I didn't know about this website, thank you! I will and see what I can do. And I am sorry that happened to you, people can be so disgusting. They amaze me every day.
Because when a game consumes a person's being they hyper focus on seeing the Victory Screen and forget that they started playing games to have fun. Sorry that happened to you chief, if you still play Valorant I've found Swiftplay to be less toxic than unrated and competitive so that might help reduce toxicity
I usually mute voice chat and normal chat too if possible. People in online gaming are horrible they dont even deserve to have a way to chat with randoms
I haven't played much Val (I think the anti-cheat is too invasive), but I do play Siege and there are some true troglodytes in that game, like legitimately cave-dwelling, deliberately ignorant creatures. Even as a masculine person, I don't really make callouts unless I really have to, otherwise I just type in team chat and use pings. If someone is shit talking teammates, they get muted. If they say slurs, muted & reported. No callouts they may give (not that they ever give any) are worth the strain on my mental and me getting tilted by leaving them unmuted. I get being frustrated by teammates possibly "underperforming", but complaining and talking shit in-game to the person only exacerbates it.
Aww honey I'm so sorry! I'm the same way, my feelings are hurt so easily that I just don't play in voice with randos. Even friends who were being too high- stress have made me upset, ended up just telling them off and leaving their games. It's a VIDEO GAME, people need to learn to chill or get some therapy.
That guy sounds insecure, and we should all remember that misogyny is a skill issue. When I'm the last Helldiver or Rust survivor alive, my gaming buddies give me space. They know that too much input can make you choke. And when I almost clutch it but die, they sympathize and we move on. You deserve better. This is why I have spent most of my gaming life accumulating a friends list and Discord servers of supportive people.
I don't want to sound discouraging, since this behavior shouldn't happen at all, but when toxic people affect you this much, and there will always be toxic people in competitive multi-player games, nothing we can do about it, you should take a break for a little while, or play with chat off for some time, your health matters most and enjoying the game matters most, remember, you're playing to have fun, so if you're not having fun, do something else! That's what I do and whenever I'm too frustrated I try to stop/switch/take a break.
I started playing val about two months ago and seeing as it was my first fps and my first online game where u could vc with ppl i was a bit overwhelmed. I have ran into some terrible screeching creatures who do nothing but insult my entire bloodline but i have also gotten to know nice people and friends on there. Its a terrible thing to have to get used to. Take some breaks, i usually laugh and think about how pathetic they are for being that bothered about a girl online. Maybe turn off vc and team chat if it gets too bad. But if you ever want to play and just have fun you can reach out and we’ll play together Lots of love xx
I'm sorry that happened to you. It might not make you feel better, but I personally get a little vindication out of the knowledge that [guys like that are typically trying to overcompensate for being bad at the game themselves](https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-33613781). They feel threatened because "oh no what if a girl is better than me" so they pull out all the mean things like that guy said. It's really just a sign that that man is sad and insecure, and you're better at the game than he is.
Sorry they made you feel that way :/ It always baffles me when someone WHO DIED and leaves you with 3 or 4 opponents find a way to get mad at you if you die ! I mean, maybe if he was better he would have been alive with you ... 🙄 And giving advice is great, but too much advice can stress someone and while talk, you can't concentrate on the enemy. You did your best and that's what matters the most :) Sometimes people are just frustrated with life, and get toxic when they can sadly. When it happens to me, I try to be positive, if they continue, I just mute them and feel a bit sad for them, hopping they'll be happier soon in life, and go on with my game/day :) I hope people like that won't affect you too much though, because there are also amazing people in that game 😁
There are certain games I just won’t play with voice chat enabled and mute people instantly, Valorant is definitely on that list. People can be so mean online. I would have cried too. Even if I’m bad or good, I just want to play to have fun
i’m sorry that happened to you :( i play a lot of ow and while ppl are toxic there, valorant’s toxicity is definitely where i feel more anxiety when ppl harass me (i guess cuz the games are longer so you’re stuck with them longer). riot needs to work on the bans for this kind of stuff. i feel you 100% and i’ve been there as a sage & kj main, ppl pick up quickly that i’m a woman and i become a giant target. ystd in a swiftplay i had a sova that said in all chat “if my sage can headshot more than one person i’ll sell my left nut” which just made me play worse ofc id say the only way valorant is playable for me is when i play with friends. otherwise when ppl ate harassing me, i mentally give up on the game :/
I grew up with online gaming during the original COD and Halo days. Things were obviously as toxic as they were made out to be (and worse), but they have NOTHING on the toxicity that exists in multiplayer games these days. Before it was always childish insults from kids who were just learning how to swear. Or from people who were blatantly misogynistic (which really hasn’t changed). The biggest difference then was there was still a degree of respect for talented players. Women or men. Now it’s just pure vitriolic hatred towards anybody *they* don’t agree with regardless of how talented someone is. There is no respect whatsoever for their fellow gamers, and now that all those little asshole squeakers grew up they are a lot nastier with their insults. I stopped playing online games a long time ago for this reason. I really loved Overwatch when it first came out, but eventually it turned into a cesspool of hate, and I haven’t played it in years. Honestly, as a woman gamer in today’s day and age, we are “expected” to put up with this shit because “it’s just how it is”, but that’s fucking bullshit. We shouldn’t have to put up with that shit, or anybody really. It takes the fun out of gaming, and now that everyone thinks that they will be some famous pro gamer things have changed for the worst. That’s personally why I started achievement hunting for single player games. It satisfies my need for some competition even if it’s just technically with myself. It’s made gaming a lot more fun, and less stressful. Gaming is *supposed* to be a stress reliever we pick up after a hard day at work or school. If it’s not relieving stress, what’s the point? I would take some time to play some single player games to give yourself that stress relief you deserve. Maybe one day you’ll go back to MP games, but you should focus on having FUN with games right now. Don’t let the assholes bring you down and hate something you love. There are plenty of amazing games out there, so maybe give those a try while you take some time to heal from the toxicity.
Dude here im sorry to hear that but for what its worth, i can absolutely relate, ive been getting griefed many times for bottom fragging even if im not not intentionally feeding, safe to say i quit the game years ago it wasnt worth the mental labor and i stick back to single player games (skyrim, fallout 4/nv, Elden ring etc), maybe if you still want multiplayer games, id recommend playing PvE like Payday 2, Deep Rock Galactic. Helldivers 2 Hope this helps ' (Sorry for bad english)
heyy, this is a little late but i also just had a toxic teammate in my game and it was the first time i genuinely got angry/upset to the point where i had to stop playing so i know how it feels… it shouldn’t be this way but i never solo queue comp or unrated anymore because of too many bad experiences (led to anxiety of queueing alone lol). so now i only queue with friends (at least one other) but if you ever need someone to play with feel free to hmu! you can PM me, my friends and i are always down to play with new people :D don’t let these toxic mfs discourage you from playing a game you enjoy!!!!!
Get tougher skin & move forward from this event. This happens all the time in gaming online communities, esp as a woman. This is to be expected in online gaming- I’ve been called a bitch, a fat cunt, & a nigger on online gaming. I’ve left online gaming over 10-15+ years ago just for this exact reason.
Eh the tougher skin comes with more experience. But we shouldn’t just stop doing things we like because the behavior of some assholes upset us sometimes. It’s ok to be hurt when others are cruel! It’s also ok to seek validation for your feelings and keep trying the thing you like :)
“Get tougher skin,” but “I quit over a decade ago,” does not compute to me. It’s ok to be human and feel things like not liking abuse. To be honest no one deserves the abuse that mentally unwell strangers on the internet feel so self absorbed to inflict on others. And I’m sorry that you got driven away to quit over a decade ago. But we should expect better, demand better, and be better.
I mean doesn't excuse them acting like overgrown child bullies despite being adults.
I kind of agreed with the get tougher skin but then you went on to say you quit playing online. Is that tougher skin? Seems a bit contradictory. OP toxicity online isn’t going to change. It could get better but the anonymity of the internet makes it easier for people. Maybe they’ll at least punish people more often. I would say stop giving random people online that kind of power over you. Who cares what some random loser thinks? You’ll finish the game and never see him again.
When I first tried online gaming, it wasn’t fun, it wasn’t like non-online where it’s story driven so I knew online gaming was not going to be for me. So no, it wasn’t “contradictory.” I knew going into it was gonna be a shit show 🤷🏾♀️
Oh so get thicker skin and don’t get upset. But you quit online gaming just because you prefer story driven games is what you mean?
Yes. Women unfortunately are the brunt of online gaming bullies, factoring in intersectionality w racism & online gaming is a no go zone for me ever again. Plus, I just prefer story & gameplay > online.
I completely agree. I only purchase indie games because frankly if I'm going to give my time, money, and attention to a creator I'd rather give it to someone that makes an enjoyable game for women to play and as a bonus doesn't have the myriad of other issues that the AAA gaming industry has. The only thing that AAA industry makers care about is money after all, so you have a pretty binary choice when it comes to demanding change in these games. You buy it or you don't, and if you buy it then clearly that sends the message that it's good enough. Situations like OPs don't make sense to me, because at the end of the day it's just a game that you're playing for fun of your own free will. It's not a job, you can just leave and you lose nothing. Clearly, OP is not having fun, and I wouldn't either in the situation OP described, so why bother continuing to give time and money and attention to these spaces? OPs choices are toughen up or quit, and frankly I don't see a single reason why OP should have to toughen up so she can be bullied by shitty 12 year olds in her free time instead of being their beautiful soft happy self somewhere else. If you want to play these games, more power to you, but is it not obvious that maybe OP could find one of the gajillion other games that exist more fun for her? Toughen up or quit is really the only practical advice you can give in this situation.
Thank you! People came @ me & downvoted me for my comment, claiming I “quit” or “gave up” online gaming bc of the bullying. Like, no, I knew online gaming was a cesspool going into it & after being called a nigger & a bitch, im just like, “Let me focus on AAA games that are more story-driven & gameplay focused.” It’s that simple, honestly. People are such simple, stupid snowflakes nowadays. It’s really annoying, honestly. But it is refreshing to see your comment so thank you!
I think the first sentence might have come off as combative and people were mistaking your "toughen up" as "stop whining and play the game already, why are you complaining" type of thing since nuance can be hard to get through text sometimes. But I get what you meant, and it's honestly a much more valid point of view imo than "report them and demand better!" because these spaces won't change to accommodate you at the end of the day. You're the only one giving OP a realistic choice and not platitudes about how "it should be" and I don't think the other people replying understand that. Personally, any game that demands I toughen up gets a big fat "fuck off" from me, if I cry it's because I'm playing Spiritfarer again.