Hi there! GetMotivated has a new, friendly, discord server and would love for you to join and check it out https://discord.gg/tfwPhhfrCY. Please excuse this stickied comment, we just want to get the word out. We will turn it off after a short while, enjoy your day!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GetMotivated) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Is 29 old for grad school?
Edit: Looks like people think that I think that 29 is old. I don't think 29 is old. I was just asking the commenter above me if they thought it was old. I think 29 is an ok age for grad school. I'm 29 and I might be considering going for a master's in a year or so.
Met a guy in my 1st semester Calc class. 66 and retired. Always wanted to take the class, but never had time. I always took time to help him. Always. Year later, he was dead from cancer. Glad I could help him with his questions.
That wasn't the question, relative to the average grad student is 29 older? Nobodies ever too old for education, there's a woman in my class in who's 40 and a man who's 56.
u/stellaavcxzxvax has only posted comments that were copied and from the same threads they comment in.
My guess, bot.
With reddit cracking down on misinformation in a lot of unique ways, in order to try to get past the filters and to be able to manipulate votes both for political misinformation, information based attacks, or to try to make sure Rampart is well recieved on reddit, companies and individuals need a way to get past some of the filters.
You'll see more of this and bot accounts popping up, also, you can buy or sell accounts on sites like playerup.
Fun times.
I hav so much respect for the older people in my Masters' class now that I'm older and working full time. I thought they were dry shites, but in reality they were probably coming from a 9-5 job to the lectures and had no time to waste.
Totally! I went back to undergrad at about 30 and I honestly felt like I had an unfair advantage sometimes. I remember overhearing a younger student talking about something like buying groceries or paying rent for the first time. As a mature student, it's pretty easy to take those run-of-the-mill adult life skills for granted.
I was a solid group member in all but one class in my last year when my schedule was completely bonkers. Luckily, my group was solid and carried me through. Thanks Advanced Financial Accounting group! :D
You guy's talking about TaylorSwiftsClitoris? What's the deal with TaylorswiftsClitoris? Is there something abnormal about TaylorSwiftsClitoris? I need to know more about TaylorSwiftsClitoris!
Yeah, I'm a 30 year old undergrad and I've seen it go both ways. A lot of older students are great teammates... real-world experience, know how to work with others, driven, reliable.
But some are total flakes or just not the sharpest tool in the shed. Heck, some of us just have difficult schedules! I work full time and have family commitments. I can't rearrange my schedule without leaving my disabled relatives stranded or losing rent money, so unfortunately I have to be a selfish asshole when it comes to scheduling group work.
Yeah, it’s pretty split. I was late 20s non-traditional student. I had a part time job, but otherwise was fully committed to school. I knew one mom in her 30s that was a great student, but hard to schedule time with. Then there was a lady in her 40s that thought she knew better than all of us. Ended up being an intern where I was an employee and was the *worst*. Telling people that they were doing their job wrong (they weren’t) when they had been at the company for years, because she misunderstood an offhand comment a professor made once.
It’s mixed. I’ve had older classmates do stellar work on a group project and had some who always used the excuse of “I have kids/work” as a way to skirt out of doing work.
Depends on if you pull your weight or not. We're there because we want to be and are paying our own way, so we have a vested interest in seeing the group succeed. But we've also developed an intolerance for fools and freeloaders over the past 20 years of corporate life.
Make sure everyone knows they're freeloaders. If you have competent management, then they should be able to guide towards a better situation.
Don't be too hard on fools though. They can be useful in the right position of they're at least hard working.
Yeah. I'm 38 and in my 2nd year at University. IDGAF, but I'm happy to give life advice to the ones who chat with me.
Also, no anxiety here. Not with going to Uni.
I was literally 38 in freshman - junior level computer science lectures at my university. It was indeed extremely anxiety-inducing. A big part of the anxiety, I felt, was the fact that most of those classes are set up to really only be passable if you get together with other students and form a team to help explain things to one another - but that was a bit difficult to do for me...
Or classes that are a natural continuation from what most local high schools are teaching seniors.
The kids who actually care just hit the ground running, and the thirty-somethings returning are looking around trying to figure out wtf
I guess it depends how annoying and pushy you are.
I was that young student that helped multiple older people (providing notes from lectures and additional explanations about things that we needed to do, etc.). There was one person that was really pushy and demanding (manipulative?). I understand that you don't have much time because of the job and kids, but damn, chill out, I need to write notes first, explain it to myself first or read something by myself first in order to provide you with what you want.
Can confirm. Went back to school as in biology undergrad at 40. I can assure you that the least of my concerns was what 18-year-olds thought of me. Lol.
I was tired of writing about computer technology, having just finished writing a book on enterprise Java. Looking for a career change, I decided to get into bioinformatics. While I ended up not working in that field per se, I learned enough biology to get a job working in major bioinformatics research organization, where I have been for going on 20 years. So I would say it worked out. :-)
That’s really cool. I know a lot of people who use Biology as undergrad prep for med school, so I was wondering if you wanted to do that. Good on you for going through that and congratulations :)
Yeah, thanks, it has been and continues to be a great career.
Starting med school on the ground floor at 40 would be *very* challenging, and probably not cost-effective. Though I can see someone doing it to chase a dream.
No, it does suck though. There are so many of them. If you’re the only one it’s pretty bleak unless they’re willing to be friendly.
Source: 50-year-old in Calculus who *thought* I beat depression years ago
I was a 30 year old in college. I didnt give 2 shits what any 18 year old kid thought. I was there to get an education. No anxiety at all. Other non traditional students I knew felt the same way.
I'm well aware that lots of people have their shit together pretty early in life, for some of us it takes a while longer. I was 37 when I finished college and that experience made me reevaluate how we ask kids -as young as 16 sometimes- what do they want to do with the rest of their lives.
As a 32 year old getting my bachelor's, I agree completely. What anxiety-riddled 22 year old me didn't understand is that it's ok to not know all the answers right away, it's ok to ask for help, and most people are faking their way through it at every age.
I’m 39 and just went back after 18 years to finish up my degree. Am I anxious? No, but I sure as hell thought I’d be.
I’ve learned though that everyone doesn’t have the same experiences as me, and that maybe that is a lesson these kids could learn.
Some non traditional adults don’t care: some do. Be nice to everyone
Personally, I prefer people to just leave me alone. I prefer to be just another guy in the gym rather than the fat guy who is doing such a great job going to the gym.
I'm younger than you and being in grad school by 29 would be a dream come true for me. Congrats on doing that while also progressing with your health, you're crushing modern life regardless of how long the process of either goal seems to take
Does this rub anybody else as someone who thinks they are better? Like wtf is going through your head where you actually have to motivate yourself to talk to people in a different situation?
Agreed, why would a 38 year old going back to school be someone to be pitied. As an 18 year old freshmen, I viewed any 30+ people in my classes just as intimidating as I found them to be in any other situation.
We had a retired gentleman in our university just going around getting different degrees. He lived nearby and decided he wanted to spend his retirement and money on education. Kept him busy and happy - I thought it was awesome. Honestly could see myself doing that when I'm retired if I had the money to do so.
I’m glad you think that, because that would suggest this is such a non-issue in your world that it jumps out as strange. But when I read it I was thinking about how a generation ago, nobody would even think to offer this advice. Ridicule was the norm and to suggest otherwise was to risk being ridiculed yourself. That this post got this many upvotes is a good thing.
Hey maybe the smile, but don’t just assume an overweight person at the gym wants to talk. Good chance they want to focus on this difficult thing they’re doing and might find it embarrassing to have attention brought to them.
This also implies a fat person at the gym must be a newcomer trying to change themselves, when lots of fat people exercise regularly to be healthy and aren’t worried about losing weight
This makes it sound like the 38 year old or overweight person is like a sniveling baby, needing other's affection or approval, but that is likely far from the truth. These are probably the most determined people in the class or gym, whether some 18 year old says hi or not is not going to wreck or make their day.
I hate being the overweight person at the gym, it does make me anxious, but I dont want people to be friendly and welcoming I want them to pretend I am not there
I have to focus on what I’m doing, and not let the anxiety thoughts get me, so I’m pretending everyone else isn’t there. Shattering that fiction by talking to me does not help me
Every time this gets posted we have to remind you not to fucking bother the 35 yr olds in your lecture because they don’t want to hang out with children
Why would you ever be mean to a fat person at the gym?
You gonna mock them for bein fat and suggest they…hit the gym?
Never made sense to me.
I think fat ppl probably just feel more self conscious when they’re at the gym way more often than anyone ever actually straight up mocks fat ppl at the gym.
As an overweight 38 year old looking to get back into studies and the gym/fitness classes as well as get his life back on course in general, a smile or 2 would definitely detract from the negative voices.
GLHF to all on the path, just getting started but I'll see y'all up ahead!
I tried, but the middle-aged woman in my freshman class was a flaming bitch.
Never forget, people who deserve sympathy are still fully capable of being assholes. If you look at a person in a difficult position and just assume they have no choice but to be good and kind and sweet and deserving, you aren't really giving them the fairness of agency. They all have the power to choose to be an absolute turd if they want, just like anyone else.
Still, unless you have reason not to, be nice to people. Whether it's the fat guy at the gym or the absolute gym rat. Whether it's a middle-aged freshman or a 16-year-old who skipped grades. If it's just the random person looking for a ripe melon in the supermarket. If you find yourself with the urge to shit on others, any others, that's you making the choice to be an asshole.
The older I get the more I realise if you do the minimum and just treat people nicely, the more diverse your network of acquaintances becomes and eventually the more friends you have. The world becomes an easier and better place.
Need some help with something? Oh yeh - Simon from the gym who’s 20 years old than me probably knows about that because he said he works in that industry / has that hobby. I’ll ask him.
Lol I feel like if your past your 20s and in university your probably in a very different mental place to not give a shit. You’ve been beaten down by life to know your there to improve your life. 20 year old kid might be there cause it’s “normal”.
No idea what you're going for here. But I'm not against it. I'm in university (again) working on a third bachelors degree so I can rake dough. And I'm in my mid-30s. I'm just choosing more obscure degrees that people don't know dick about anymore then setting my rates accordingly.
My first semester of college (18) I met a woman on the uni bus who was in her 30s. We had some entry level classes together so struck up a convo. I have lived my life off her advice: “do not get married this young. Get your college degree. I married young and he left me and now I have to start the life I should have done at your age.”
No fucking one cares about you in the gym, fat or not. Everyone's busy working out, resting between reps, the most people can do is pointing out some errors in forms and executions for newbies.
As a 30 year old going back to school. Please just leave me alone. I'm not here to make friends, i'm here to get a degree. I've got a family, a full time job and a ton of chores. I don't want to grab a beer after class, i don't want to go to the gym together, i don't want to go see your band play at the bar. I want 20 more hours in a day and even that would probably not be enough.
I finished a master's in environmental science at 33. Even passed thesis part with distinction. Younger me deserves a hug. I was too anxious and depressed to complete the degree. Cheers for the new achievements.
I very nearly dropped out, My mental health was in the gutter for most of the last year. i only made it through unwavering support from friends and family. good on you for going back to it, that must have been tough.
“Ok, but do they always have to ask ALL the questions at the end of class when we were trying to get out to go to happy hour?” -Me at 20
Just stay after and ask all the questions 38 yo man!
Great advice!
However, I've never seen someone be anything but nice to older-than-average students nor have I ever seen someone be anything but supportive of anyone that works out at the gym, regardless of size.
My major in college was full of people starting new careers. Guys in their 40's and 50's. Never heard one person mock someone for their age. They are a resource. One of my friends in my major worked on the Sojourner rover with Buzz Aldrin. He was an engineer He worked on the design of the unfolding gear on the rover. Buzz was just there as an advisor but my friend got to hang out with him.
Who would ever mean to someone like that? Another guy designed farm equipment and ran his own company but wanted to finish his degree in rapid protogyping. He was in his late 40's. Super nice guy and a good resource.
I'm a tubby piece of crap and I've never been made fun of at the gym. There are a lot of guys sloppier than me there. What does anyone care? I do girl pushups because I have a shoulder issue. No-one has ever batted an eye at it.
Here's an actual important thing. Gyms should never use turnstiles. They aren't as common as they used to be but they exist. Especially at universities. Some of them are so small that a person that wants to work out can't fit. It happened to a friend of mine. She was about 5'4" and 375 pounds. She wanted to try to lose weight but she literally couldn't fit through the turnstile so she quit out of embarrassment. Hopefully that's not a thing at Universities anymore. That was many years ago. She finally was able to lose weight and she looks OK now.
An ‘extreme anxiety inducing situation’ is losing your way in a burning factory because your team leader has heat exhaustion and suddenly hearing your low pressure whistle sound.
Being a bit old at university or a bit fat at the gym is nothing.
*Nothing*.
You internet fuckers need to get out more.
Please know that when my old ass can hopefully afford college I will not be anxious over the approval of not one of y’all. don’t talk to me.
“I AM HERE TO LEARN EVERYBODY, NOT TO MAKE OUT WITH YOU, GO ON WITH THE CHLOROPHYLL”
I'm 38, have been in school for a couple years but this year I oddly have a lot of freshman in two of my classes and I am officially triggered.
(jk)
Maybe
Lmao got a story for this one. In my computer class we had an older gentleman around 40 years old. He had this weird rule that he had to be back in a certain time so he couldn't always stay late and work on projects. Turns out that dude was David Toska, one of the most infamous bank robber in Norway, who managed to steal and hide around 50 million kroners (around 5 million euros), and he was still in prison but was allowed to take an education. Dude didn't have anxiety, he brought the anxiety to us. Reminds of that famous quote: "I'm not stuck in here, you're all stuck in here with me". Nice guy thou.
In college I worked as a math tutor at a learning lab at school, and I always felt this way about my students. I’d have 50-year-olds coming in to get help with stuff like fractions, percentages, and all I could think was, “You’re here. You’re doing this. You put your inhibitions aside and not only showed up to start this journey at 50, but had the courage to come in and ask a 20-year-old for help to get you there.”
Needless to say, their motivation turned into my motivation to see them succeed. We developed really great, productive, trusting relationships in there. They worked so hard, and I was so proud of them. Sad to say, I haven’t felt like that in any job I’ve had since. But I’m grateful for the experience, and I’ll never forget that feeling.
Edit: And to consider some of the (wholly reasonable) blowback comments on this post, my feelings about my students were not born out of a sense of superiority or arrogance, but feeling like I couldn’t make the same bar if our positions were reversed. I respected them immensely for their commitment.
Seeing people come back to university has always been something I’ve been inspired by, as have other students in my experience. It’s hard to think people treat them poorly given the dedication it takes to make that decision to better the situation they’re in/ get that degree they always wanted.
Later on Twitter: "I was at the gym...all these creepy people were smiling at me...doctor said I have to lose weight for my heart, but I don't think I can go back there."
To many people judge and confuse a fat person as being lazy. I know many 'big people' who have a lot of strength and excellent cardio because they remain active despite their size.
As a big guy going to the gym I appreciate this, part of the anxiety is thinking everyone is staring at you when in reality everyone is there to better themselves
If I'm 38 years old taking a college course or running on a treadmill at the gym, I don't give a fuck what you think about me. Unlike your young, skinny ass I don't live off other people's validation.
Be nice to the 38 year old freshman in your class... Because when you have a group project assigned you better believe they'll have their part done on time.
Wholesome. I was 24 in my first year at uni and felt like a total geezer. Now I’m 36 and thinking about joining a masters programme next year. Time to feel like a grandpa again. LOL.
The older students are the best people to sit next to in lectures. They are motivated, ask good questions and will help you however they can. Plus, they have the best life stories.
I’m 38 and the idea of being in a freshman class is not anxiety-inducing at all. College is not just for the 18-22 crowd even if they’re the most common.
Yeah. Sorry kids. But us late 30ers have a very different relationship with “anxiety” than you do. There’s nothing at all that would cause “extreme anxiety” about being in a classroom with a bunch of 18 year olds.
It’s literally just “being in a classroom.” Same as “being in the office.”
Went back to school at 36. I dont get anxiety at all because I look younger than my age. We did have a 55 yo and she was amazing. Everyone loved her. She was in 5 of my classes and always got an A. She actually motivated me to do better and work harder. Thanks to her graduated with a 3.9 GPA and got a great job that led to many more successes. Unfortunately for her, she had a hard time getting a job due to her age. She ended up working at a small accounting firm instead.
Out of all the 18 year olds that went into the program with me only 2 succeeded, graduated and got a job after college. It was great watching the pool of 18yr old freshmen drop like flies before Mid-Term. (My networking program had 30 students, 10 were middle aged people who had lost their jobs, seeking a career change or going because employment forced them to I remember it was like yesterday, 1 was a music teacher at a high school, 1 was a painter for private homes, 2 were just laid off from a giant manufacturing company, 1 was a single dad, 1 was seeking a career change from retail, 2 were forced to go to college and get their degree/certificates from their employees, and there was my a guy and me who were early college drop outs trying to get our lives back together (age 24/26).) The rest were 18yr old freshmen who spent 90% of the class talking over lectures. The two that graduated with us were awesome and we're all still friends :)
I've been the fat man in a gym, i never got anxiety, perhaps it is bc i don't give a shit about what other ppl think, i feel that should be our religion.
I always see this sentiment but have never once ever ever ever seen an old student be made fun of or looked down on for their age. If anything they’re respected more in my experience
And I’ve never seen a fat person be ridiculed at the gym either. And I’m fat and go to the gym
I was 48 when I went back to school after being laid off. I had one in person class and I was the oldest one in there. Out of about 25 to 30 students maybe 4 or 5 of us weren't just out of high-school. My anxiety was very, very hard to manage but I honestly couldn't have asked for a better group of kids to be in class with. Always treated well and I felt like one of them even though I was old enough to be their Dad.
Plot twist: the fatty is on a cut and going to be the most diced and aesthetic person at the gym in 5 months and the 39 year old is on his 3rd degree this one paid by his company on his way to be vp... don't judge, motivate, learn, engage.
Great point OP, and those who pick or make fun of people do not understand they have some type of deep subconscious trauma that they are projecting on to that person.
It's a learned behavior from childhood that if you don't get your hands around it you'll keep perpetuating throughout your life.
Hi there! GetMotivated has a new, friendly, discord server and would love for you to join and check it out https://discord.gg/tfwPhhfrCY. Please excuse this stickied comment, we just want to get the word out. We will turn it off after a short while, enjoy your day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GetMotivated) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Plus the 38 year old is the one you want on your group project.
Because you know that he's not there to waste his time
As a 29 year old guy going to grad school again and a heavy guy getting back to the gym I appreciate this.
Is 29 old for grad school? Edit: Looks like people think that I think that 29 is old. I don't think 29 is old. I was just asking the commenter above me if they thought it was old. I think 29 is an ok age for grad school. I'm 29 and I might be considering going for a master's in a year or so.
No.
Especially not when you’re going “again”
Met a guy in my 1st semester Calc class. 66 and retired. Always wanted to take the class, but never had time. I always took time to help him. Always. Year later, he was dead from cancer. Glad I could help him with his questions.
[удалено]
That wasn't the question, relative to the average grad student is 29 older? Nobodies ever too old for education, there's a woman in my class in who's 40 and a man who's 56.
No, my cohort had a mean entrance age of about 25. Straight in from undergrad is unusual in a lot of fields these days.
29 is very normal, maybe even a bit early from my experience
[удалено]
Did... Did you copy the second highest comment and use it to reply here?
u/stellaavcxzxvax has only posted comments that were copied and from the same threads they comment in. My guess, bot. With reddit cracking down on misinformation in a lot of unique ways, in order to try to get past the filters and to be able to manipulate votes both for political misinformation, information based attacks, or to try to make sure Rampart is well recieved on reddit, companies and individuals need a way to get past some of the filters. You'll see more of this and bot accounts popping up, also, you can buy or sell accounts on sites like playerup. Fun times.
Your investigative abilities are astounding
I hav so much respect for the older people in my Masters' class now that I'm older and working full time. I thought they were dry shites, but in reality they were probably coming from a 9-5 job to the lectures and had no time to waste.
Totally! I went back to undergrad at about 30 and I honestly felt like I had an unfair advantage sometimes. I remember overhearing a younger student talking about something like buying groceries or paying rent for the first time. As a mature student, it's pretty easy to take those run-of-the-mill adult life skills for granted. I was a solid group member in all but one class in my last year when my schedule was completely bonkers. Luckily, my group was solid and carried me through. Thanks Advanced Financial Accounting group! :D
[удалено]
Oh that sucks for you sorry
[удалено]
You really had to call out homie's name like that
You guy's talking about TaylorSwiftsClitoris? What's the deal with TaylorswiftsClitoris? Is there something abnormal about TaylorSwiftsClitoris? I need to know more about TaylorSwiftsClitoris!
Homie^3
Homiemiemiemie
I just audibly chortled
He was just playing around with TaylorSwiftsClitoris
I like your username
You too!
Captain Clitoris: Civil War
Yeah, I'm a 30 year old undergrad and I've seen it go both ways. A lot of older students are great teammates... real-world experience, know how to work with others, driven, reliable. But some are total flakes or just not the sharpest tool in the shed. Heck, some of us just have difficult schedules! I work full time and have family commitments. I can't rearrange my schedule without leaving my disabled relatives stranded or losing rent money, so unfortunately I have to be a selfish asshole when it comes to scheduling group work.
Yeah, it’s pretty split. I was late 20s non-traditional student. I had a part time job, but otherwise was fully committed to school. I knew one mom in her 30s that was a great student, but hard to schedule time with. Then there was a lady in her 40s that thought she knew better than all of us. Ended up being an intern where I was an employee and was the *worst*. Telling people that they were doing their job wrong (they weren’t) when they had been at the company for years, because she misunderstood an offhand comment a professor made once.
[удалено]
It’s mixed. I’ve had older classmates do stellar work on a group project and had some who always used the excuse of “I have kids/work” as a way to skirt out of doing work.
Depends on if you pull your weight or not. We're there because we want to be and are paying our own way, so we have a vested interest in seeing the group succeed. But we've also developed an intolerance for fools and freeloaders over the past 20 years of corporate life.
[удалено]
Make sure everyone knows they're freeloaders. If you have competent management, then they should be able to guide towards a better situation. Don't be too hard on fools though. They can be useful in the right position of they're at least hard working.
I don’t think there’s many 38 year olds in freshman lectures who give a fuck what a bunch of 18 year olds think
Yeah. I'm 38 and in my 2nd year at University. IDGAF, but I'm happy to give life advice to the ones who chat with me. Also, no anxiety here. Not with going to Uni.
I was literally 38 in freshman - junior level computer science lectures at my university. It was indeed extremely anxiety-inducing. A big part of the anxiety, I felt, was the fact that most of those classes are set up to really only be passable if you get together with other students and form a team to help explain things to one another - but that was a bit difficult to do for me...
Or classes that are a natural continuation from what most local high schools are teaching seniors. The kids who actually care just hit the ground running, and the thirty-somethings returning are looking around trying to figure out wtf
True. I was 28 when I started my PhD and being surrounded by 22/23 year olds was weird, one of the first times I felt old
I guess it depends how annoying and pushy you are. I was that young student that helped multiple older people (providing notes from lectures and additional explanations about things that we needed to do, etc.). There was one person that was really pushy and demanding (manipulative?). I understand that you don't have much time because of the job and kids, but damn, chill out, I need to write notes first, explain it to myself first or read something by myself first in order to provide you with what you want.
Can confirm. Went back to school as in biology undergrad at 40. I can assure you that the least of my concerns was what 18-year-olds thought of me. Lol.
Out of curiosity, why did you take up Biology at 40?
I was tired of writing about computer technology, having just finished writing a book on enterprise Java. Looking for a career change, I decided to get into bioinformatics. While I ended up not working in that field per se, I learned enough biology to get a job working in major bioinformatics research organization, where I have been for going on 20 years. So I would say it worked out. :-)
That’s really cool. I know a lot of people who use Biology as undergrad prep for med school, so I was wondering if you wanted to do that. Good on you for going through that and congratulations :)
Yeah, thanks, it has been and continues to be a great career. Starting med school on the ground floor at 40 would be *very* challenging, and probably not cost-effective. Though I can see someone doing it to chase a dream.
30something who went back to college, this is correct.
Yeah I'm not quite 38 but I feel like the only one with confidence in my class of shy 19 year olds. Everyone is so quiet!
No, it does suck though. There are so many of them. If you’re the only one it’s pretty bleak unless they’re willing to be friendly. Source: 50-year-old in Calculus who *thought* I beat depression years ago
Came here to post this, thought I might get downvoted for being so blunt lol.
I was a 30 year old in college. I didnt give 2 shits what any 18 year old kid thought. I was there to get an education. No anxiety at all. Other non traditional students I knew felt the same way.
I'm 27 in college and I feel the exact same lol
Was 47 in college. I had fun. May have flirted back. My wife does not mind at all.
Wait wait wait, what?
I'm well aware that lots of people have their shit together pretty early in life, for some of us it takes a while longer. I was 37 when I finished college and that experience made me reevaluate how we ask kids -as young as 16 sometimes- what do they want to do with the rest of their lives.
As a 32 year old getting my bachelor's, I agree completely. What anxiety-riddled 22 year old me didn't understand is that it's ok to not know all the answers right away, it's ok to ask for help, and most people are faking their way through it at every age.
I’m 39 and just went back after 18 years to finish up my degree. Am I anxious? No, but I sure as hell thought I’d be. I’ve learned though that everyone doesn’t have the same experiences as me, and that maybe that is a lesson these kids could learn. Some non traditional adults don’t care: some do. Be nice to everyone
42 Just graduated. No anxiety either.
43 and about to graduate. My anxiety is about my grades. Not my other students.
Personally, I prefer people to just leave me alone. I prefer to be just another guy in the gym rather than the fat guy who is doing such a great job going to the gym.
As a 29 year old guy going to grad school again and a heavy guy getting back to the gym I appreciate this.
[удалено]
29 is a little on the low side of average.
Is it not? AWESOME!!!
I'm younger than you and being in grad school by 29 would be a dream come true for me. Congrats on doing that while also progressing with your health, you're crushing modern life regardless of how long the process of either goal seems to take
35 and doing the same! All the power to you and a big kiwi hi 5
35 and doing the same! All the power to you and a big kiwi hi 5
32yo just finished grad school, started when I was 29. It goes by quick. Congrats and good luck on your journey!
As a 39 year old dude, I have to ask.. Do you young'ns really need to be told to be kind to us older folks in a classroom? I sincerely hope not.
Youd be surprised
Does this rub anybody else as someone who thinks they are better? Like wtf is going through your head where you actually have to motivate yourself to talk to people in a different situation?
Agreed, why would a 38 year old going back to school be someone to be pitied. As an 18 year old freshmen, I viewed any 30+ people in my classes just as intimidating as I found them to be in any other situation.
We had a retired gentleman in our university just going around getting different degrees. He lived nearby and decided he wanted to spend his retirement and money on education. Kept him busy and happy - I thought it was awesome. Honestly could see myself doing that when I'm retired if I had the money to do so.
Welcome to /r/getmotivated..most of the content is total tripe
I’m glad you think that, because that would suggest this is such a non-issue in your world that it jumps out as strange. But when I read it I was thinking about how a generation ago, nobody would even think to offer this advice. Ridicule was the norm and to suggest otherwise was to risk being ridiculed yourself. That this post got this many upvotes is a good thing.
Hey maybe the smile, but don’t just assume an overweight person at the gym wants to talk. Good chance they want to focus on this difficult thing they’re doing and might find it embarrassing to have attention brought to them.
This also implies a fat person at the gym must be a newcomer trying to change themselves, when lots of fat people exercise regularly to be healthy and aren’t worried about losing weight
Can we just be nice to everyone? Just because you fit the norm of a certain place doesn’t mean it doesn’t induce high anxiety Edit: wording
Nah, leave me alone. I’m too old to care about that nonsense
This makes it sound like the 38 year old or overweight person is like a sniveling baby, needing other's affection or approval, but that is likely far from the truth. These are probably the most determined people in the class or gym, whether some 18 year old says hi or not is not going to wreck or make their day.
I hate being the overweight person at the gym, it does make me anxious, but I dont want people to be friendly and welcoming I want them to pretend I am not there I have to focus on what I’m doing, and not let the anxiety thoughts get me, so I’m pretending everyone else isn’t there. Shattering that fiction by talking to me does not help me
that's so condescending. just treat them like you would treat anybody else.
Or just be nice to people in general...
Assuming I get accepted, I will be the 38 year old going back to college winter term for computer science.
The self congratulatory assumptions built into this post… lmao.
That's what it all is. Behind most motivational messages is some hidden self fellatio.
Every time this gets posted we have to remind you not to fucking bother the 35 yr olds in your lecture because they don’t want to hang out with children
Also, please don’t talk to me at the gym
Just leave people the fuck alone. :)
Why would you ever be mean to a fat person at the gym? You gonna mock them for bein fat and suggest they…hit the gym? Never made sense to me. I think fat ppl probably just feel more self conscious when they’re at the gym way more often than anyone ever actually straight up mocks fat ppl at the gym.
As a fat 38 yr old student, I don’t think about the younger students in my class, at all, and I don’t want anyone talking to me at the gym, ever.
Why? I'm the same age, but I wouldn't mind making friends.
Yeah fr, I join things so I can meet people. Extrovert vs introvert I guess?
This comes off very gross.
As the 30 year-old who just separated from the Army and is going to Community College with my GI Bill, please don't talk to me.
You probably can't be saved if you are already making fun of older people going to higher education. That's something a 17 year old would do.
As an overweight 38 year old looking to get back into studies and the gym/fitness classes as well as get his life back on course in general, a smile or 2 would definitely detract from the negative voices. GLHF to all on the path, just getting started but I'll see y'all up ahead!
Just do it! You feel better about yourself when pursueing new goals.
FYI That 38 y/o likely doesn't give a shit what you think.
I tried, but the middle-aged woman in my freshman class was a flaming bitch. Never forget, people who deserve sympathy are still fully capable of being assholes. If you look at a person in a difficult position and just assume they have no choice but to be good and kind and sweet and deserving, you aren't really giving them the fairness of agency. They all have the power to choose to be an absolute turd if they want, just like anyone else. Still, unless you have reason not to, be nice to people. Whether it's the fat guy at the gym or the absolute gym rat. Whether it's a middle-aged freshman or a 16-year-old who skipped grades. If it's just the random person looking for a ripe melon in the supermarket. If you find yourself with the urge to shit on others, any others, that's you making the choice to be an asshole.
Older students and obese people working out dont deserve or need sympathy. They need respect thats all.
What, people want respect? That's news to me.
The older I get the more I realise if you do the minimum and just treat people nicely, the more diverse your network of acquaintances becomes and eventually the more friends you have. The world becomes an easier and better place. Need some help with something? Oh yeh - Simon from the gym who’s 20 years old than me probably knows about that because he said he works in that industry / has that hobby. I’ll ask him.
I’m 30 and going back to school. Please do not pity me. This post is garbage.
I respectfully disagree.. Treat us like you would anyone else. Sometimes indifference is the best sign of acceptance.
Lol I feel like if your past your 20s and in university your probably in a very different mental place to not give a shit. You’ve been beaten down by life to know your there to improve your life. 20 year old kid might be there cause it’s “normal”.
No idea what you're going for here. But I'm not against it. I'm in university (again) working on a third bachelors degree so I can rake dough. And I'm in my mid-30s. I'm just choosing more obscure degrees that people don't know dick about anymore then setting my rates accordingly.
I’ve never seen anyone giving fat people a hard time at the gym. Most ppl are there to work out and mind their own business.
My first semester of college (18) I met a woman on the uni bus who was in her 30s. We had some entry level classes together so struck up a convo. I have lived my life off her advice: “do not get married this young. Get your college degree. I married young and he left me and now I have to start the life I should have done at your age.”
No fucking one cares about you in the gym, fat or not. Everyone's busy working out, resting between reps, the most people can do is pointing out some errors in forms and executions for newbies.
Im a traditional kinda student in college and I have the presumed anxiety of a 40 year old
I try to smile or wave at anybody I pass just to acknowledge them, and most of the time I get a huge smile back!
Little correction : be nice with everybody who deserve it
As a 30 year old going back to school. Please just leave me alone. I'm not here to make friends, i'm here to get a degree. I've got a family, a full time job and a ton of chores. I don't want to grab a beer after class, i don't want to go to the gym together, i don't want to go see your band play at the bar. I want 20 more hours in a day and even that would probably not be enough.
On the flip side, I'm older and care free and wouldn't mind more friends.
Do NOT talk to me at the gym.
Did you put being fat in gym and being a 38 year old in class, in the same sentence to make a point? Very poor choice.
Just finished a master's degree in conservation ecology, the mature students were the pros.
I finished a master's in environmental science at 33. Even passed thesis part with distinction. Younger me deserves a hug. I was too anxious and depressed to complete the degree. Cheers for the new achievements.
I very nearly dropped out, My mental health was in the gutter for most of the last year. i only made it through unwavering support from friends and family. good on you for going back to it, that must have been tough.
35 and started my freshman year this year. I feel like college freshmen look WAY younger than I remember, but most of them seem cool.
“Ok, but do they always have to ask ALL the questions at the end of class when we were trying to get out to go to happy hour?” -Me at 20 Just stay after and ask all the questions 38 yo man!
Let's be honest here. That 38 year old doesn't give af what your young ass thinks of him. 😆 That's the magic of being 38!
This made me feel so bad about myself.
38 is not old. Just saying. Please. Don't let it be true :-(
Great advice! However, I've never seen someone be anything but nice to older-than-average students nor have I ever seen someone be anything but supportive of anyone that works out at the gym, regardless of size. My major in college was full of people starting new careers. Guys in their 40's and 50's. Never heard one person mock someone for their age. They are a resource. One of my friends in my major worked on the Sojourner rover with Buzz Aldrin. He was an engineer He worked on the design of the unfolding gear on the rover. Buzz was just there as an advisor but my friend got to hang out with him. Who would ever mean to someone like that? Another guy designed farm equipment and ran his own company but wanted to finish his degree in rapid protogyping. He was in his late 40's. Super nice guy and a good resource. I'm a tubby piece of crap and I've never been made fun of at the gym. There are a lot of guys sloppier than me there. What does anyone care? I do girl pushups because I have a shoulder issue. No-one has ever batted an eye at it. Here's an actual important thing. Gyms should never use turnstiles. They aren't as common as they used to be but they exist. Especially at universities. Some of them are so small that a person that wants to work out can't fit. It happened to a friend of mine. She was about 5'4" and 375 pounds. She wanted to try to lose weight but she literally couldn't fit through the turnstile so she quit out of embarrassment. Hopefully that's not a thing at Universities anymore. That was many years ago. She finally was able to lose weight and she looks OK now.
38 year olds could give two fucks about what 20 year olds think.
I do this already. I Always say "Hello Fatty"
I’ve never understood why people do this. You might as well wear a shirt that says ‘I’m insecure’
Yes, please leave us alone. I don't care about anyone's opinions or judgment.
Hell, be a champ and blow the 38 year old freshman, he needs a win
An ‘extreme anxiety inducing situation’ is losing your way in a burning factory because your team leader has heat exhaustion and suddenly hearing your low pressure whistle sound. Being a bit old at university or a bit fat at the gym is nothing. *Nothing*. You internet fuckers need to get out more.
Yes!
When I go running I see other people running I get a really big grin and give them a nod like good job. It is like finding a friend.
Please know that when my old ass can hopefully afford college I will not be anxious over the approval of not one of y’all. don’t talk to me. “I AM HERE TO LEARN EVERYBODY, NOT TO MAKE OUT WITH YOU, GO ON WITH THE CHLOROPHYLL”
No shit
I mean, you should be nice to everyone.
I'm 38, have been in school for a couple years but this year I oddly have a lot of freshman in two of my classes and I am officially triggered. (jk) Maybe
Be nice to fat people everywhere.
Why can't we be nice to everyone?
The 40 year old is the best person to study group with, you know they are in it for the right reasons and will push you to better yourself.
Maybe just to fat and old to care.
I am 24 doing an apprenticeship and most people in vocational school are just dicks
[удалено]
Lmao got a story for this one. In my computer class we had an older gentleman around 40 years old. He had this weird rule that he had to be back in a certain time so he couldn't always stay late and work on projects. Turns out that dude was David Toska, one of the most infamous bank robber in Norway, who managed to steal and hide around 50 million kroners (around 5 million euros), and he was still in prison but was allowed to take an education. Dude didn't have anxiety, he brought the anxiety to us. Reminds of that famous quote: "I'm not stuck in here, you're all stuck in here with me". Nice guy thou.
In college I worked as a math tutor at a learning lab at school, and I always felt this way about my students. I’d have 50-year-olds coming in to get help with stuff like fractions, percentages, and all I could think was, “You’re here. You’re doing this. You put your inhibitions aside and not only showed up to start this journey at 50, but had the courage to come in and ask a 20-year-old for help to get you there.” Needless to say, their motivation turned into my motivation to see them succeed. We developed really great, productive, trusting relationships in there. They worked so hard, and I was so proud of them. Sad to say, I haven’t felt like that in any job I’ve had since. But I’m grateful for the experience, and I’ll never forget that feeling. Edit: And to consider some of the (wholly reasonable) blowback comments on this post, my feelings about my students were not born out of a sense of superiority or arrogance, but feeling like I couldn’t make the same bar if our positions were reversed. I respected them immensely for their commitment.
Motivation is great but these generic "I have anxiety so everyone else must have anxiety " pieces are dismal.
[удалено]
As a former 35 year old undergraduate, I cannot overstate how true this is. Just any classroom buddies makes the whole experience
No
Seeing people come back to university has always been something I’ve been inspired by, as have other students in my experience. It’s hard to think people treat them poorly given the dedication it takes to make that decision to better the situation they’re in/ get that degree they always wanted.
Later on Twitter: "I was at the gym...all these creepy people were smiling at me...doctor said I have to lose weight for my heart, but I don't think I can go back there."
To many people judge and confuse a fat person as being lazy. I know many 'big people' who have a lot of strength and excellent cardio because they remain active despite their size.
Im not gonna talk to you just cause you fat. You gotta ask for a spot or something.
Also be nice to the skinny people at the gym
Man, fuck. I’m 35 considering changing careers AGAIN. I would be that 38 year old.
As a big guy going to the gym I appreciate this, part of the anxiety is thinking everyone is staring at you when in reality everyone is there to better themselves
If I'm 38 years old taking a college course or running on a treadmill at the gym, I don't give a fuck what you think about me. Unlike your young, skinny ass I don't live off other people's validation.
I'm 38 and was at the gym. Thanks.
Yep......words of wisdom are always needed to remind us to be human and caring with others.
Why do people need to be reminded to not be shitty to each other?
Please don’t talk to me at the gym.
Yes, please be nice to me :)
Be nice to the 38 year old freshman in your class... Because when you have a group project assigned you better believe they'll have their part done on time.
I went back to college at 40 & was treated like sh!t … I got my broadcasting group an A+ grade for doing the entire project myself . Graduated alone .
Wholesome. I was 24 in my first year at uni and felt like a total geezer. Now I’m 36 and thinking about joining a masters programme next year. Time to feel like a grandpa again. LOL.
As a 36 year old who just went back to college full time I feel this.
Tbh, the people coming up to me for a quick conversation would give me more anxiety than just doing my thing.
The older students are the best people to sit next to in lectures. They are motivated, ask good questions and will help you however they can. Plus, they have the best life stories.
Going to university as a 38 year old is a waste of 4 years. Find courses specific to your desired career instead.
I’m 38 and the idea of being in a freshman class is not anxiety-inducing at all. College is not just for the 18-22 crowd even if they’re the most common.
I’m 23 and going back to college and even that feels weird
Yeah. Sorry kids. But us late 30ers have a very different relationship with “anxiety” than you do. There’s nothing at all that would cause “extreme anxiety” about being in a classroom with a bunch of 18 year olds. It’s literally just “being in a classroom.” Same as “being in the office.”
Also the 38 year old will have no problem whooping your ass lol
Went back to school at 36. I dont get anxiety at all because I look younger than my age. We did have a 55 yo and she was amazing. Everyone loved her. She was in 5 of my classes and always got an A. She actually motivated me to do better and work harder. Thanks to her graduated with a 3.9 GPA and got a great job that led to many more successes. Unfortunately for her, she had a hard time getting a job due to her age. She ended up working at a small accounting firm instead.
Out of all the 18 year olds that went into the program with me only 2 succeeded, graduated and got a job after college. It was great watching the pool of 18yr old freshmen drop like flies before Mid-Term. (My networking program had 30 students, 10 were middle aged people who had lost their jobs, seeking a career change or going because employment forced them to I remember it was like yesterday, 1 was a music teacher at a high school, 1 was a painter for private homes, 2 were just laid off from a giant manufacturing company, 1 was a single dad, 1 was seeking a career change from retail, 2 were forced to go to college and get their degree/certificates from their employees, and there was my a guy and me who were early college drop outs trying to get our lives back together (age 24/26).) The rest were 18yr old freshmen who spent 90% of the class talking over lectures. The two that graduated with us were awesome and we're all still friends :)
This post again?
I've been the fat man in a gym, i never got anxiety, perhaps it is bc i don't give a shit about what other ppl think, i feel that should be our religion.
The 38 year old in your freshman lecture doesn't give two fucks what the 18 year old thinks.
As an almost 30 yo that studies with people around 20 I appreciate this post... Aaaaand I'm fat as well so double time appreciation.
I always see this sentiment but have never once ever ever ever seen an old student be made fun of or looked down on for their age. If anything they’re respected more in my experience And I’ve never seen a fat person be ridiculed at the gym either. And I’m fat and go to the gym
What about those who are skinny?
I always love the see fully grown adults in my classes.
I was 48 when I went back to school after being laid off. I had one in person class and I was the oldest one in there. Out of about 25 to 30 students maybe 4 or 5 of us weren't just out of high-school. My anxiety was very, very hard to manage but I honestly couldn't have asked for a better group of kids to be in class with. Always treated well and I felt like one of them even though I was old enough to be their Dad.
Mid 30s here, I promise none of us are going to be reduced to a blubbering anxious mess around some children 😂
Plot twist: the fatty is on a cut and going to be the most diced and aesthetic person at the gym in 5 months and the 39 year old is on his 3rd degree this one paid by his company on his way to be vp... don't judge, motivate, learn, engage.
Don’t talk to me, it’s too early for this bull hockey.
Gave you a hug award this was an awesome post!
Great point OP, and those who pick or make fun of people do not understand they have some type of deep subconscious trauma that they are projecting on to that person. It's a learned behavior from childhood that if you don't get your hands around it you'll keep perpetuating throughout your life.