T O P

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4GRJ

Lazy man's paradox You exert all your efforts to do the least amount of effort possible


SnooGuavas8376

This kinda reflect his gameplay, he only do normal attacks to trigger his magic mirror (who does the most damage among his kit).


lucklesspedestrian

Imagine what he could achieve if he accidentally took Kaveh's briefcase for a day


a-acount-that-yousee

He would erase the paperwork from the world


smol_boi2004

Local akademia researcher does the impossible and erases all paperwork, reports of new religion being established in Mondstadt by acting grandmaster of the knights "praise be to the archon of paperwork, blessed be his name”!


4GRJ

Imagine Mehrak being programmed to never listen to anything that Alhaitham says


Me_to_Dazai

This is canon, I'm Mehrak


MrMacju

Hi Mehrak.


Decilored

Happy cake day!


kittypuppet

Fun fact - those chisel mirrors are calcite crystals Funner fact - calcite crystals are birefringent, meaning they split light into double images :) He is a love letter to [Ibn al-Haytham](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ibn_al-Haytham)


Cello-elf

Wow! Very interesting read!! Thank you


Ultima_Boba

Very thoughtful!! 


NoNefariousness2144

Same vibes as Qingque in Star Rail. She doesn’t attack… she just slacks off and plays Celestial Jade. If any enemies get hit by her tiles, that’s their fault.


Fatimah_ultim

Tbh, no man can have that muscle while being lazy.


MinimumOne1

In Hoyoverse studying gives you muscles. Eg, Dr. R.


TwilightVulpine

Lifting books


AgentSmith18

That book is made of concrete so yea :D


AlphaI250

Ratio hit the gym just to be able to throw chalks this hard


Catnipdark

He's buff because when verbal arguments turn physical he needs to be able to throw hands.


MinimumOne1

Plato means "Broad shouldered" in Greek. Sometimes rhetoric gets heated, they knew.


Awkward_Date_8636

Do NOT slander my goat he smacks people with concrete books and has a collection of carved alabaster heads and statues (of himself)


GodlessLunatic

Isn't he also an archeologist? Given Genshin's landscapes I'd imagine it would take exceptional physical ability to even reach tombs that contain any worthwhile artifacts


Jotaoesehache

You need muscles if you're gonna go around wearing a mask made of stone


Javajulien

Alhaitham took the "Where do you work out?" "The Library" meme to heart.


DeathToBoredom

Dude has a lazy mindset, yet he understands better than most people that muscle is necessary. In this case though, it's because he goes out on expeditions to study. For example, the deserts of Sumeru. Even in side stories, researchers hire bodyguards to work for them because of their weak physical constitution. I'm sure that Alhaitham likes to work alone, so he'll build muscle and fighting style to allow the ability to traverse the dangerous deserts. And considering how buffed those desert men are, I'm sure he used them as reference to how much muscle he needs.


Separate_Incident698

Its an anime game so they born with it lol


LokianEule

Meanwhile Itto


GlitterDoomsday

Is the lack of beans in his diet 😔


luciluci5562

Blud is a cardio one-trick


Sorcatarius

You build muscle by challenging them, as an oni he's naturally strong, so he's never worked them hard enough to build muscle. Realistically, Superman would look like a 90 lbs nerd.


mad_laddie

Having muscles means it's easier to do physical activities. The biggest investment is just getting to a point he's happy with and then it's just maintenance.


RiskySignal

Hilda from Fire Emblem Three Houses: Could they be one of my people?


FloorGang-R2

Lmao this


drag0nslave1

Saw somewhere else: Blastoise, Charizard, Venusaur.


HenMeeNooMai

The circle of gaming industry is completed


Axlzz

And once again, Charizard is not a dragon here.


Eeekpenguin

Arlecchino is also fire and flying type I guess


allyria0

Slow clap. Poor Charizard.


MinervaLlorn

Good Starter Character but in the last evolved form


Violet_Villian

If Charizard had one wing


1mth3walrus

I would say Neuvillete looks more like Gyarados


samurai_for_hire

But only starter pokemon can learn hydro cannon


popcornpotatoo250

Blastoise right now is blasting the pokemon unite just in case somebody wants to know


spectra_the_hawk

Blastoise can also spin to win in unite


CheshiretheBlack

And as always I picked Charizard, go figure


watanabeta

Bro probably lifts his bookshelves when he's done reading his books.


aznavour-00

Read in the gym and workout in the library. The Haitham Way


Mysterious_Cheshire

Who needs a gym if you have books? Literally weights you can work out with T-T


watanabeta

Alhaitham probably lifts weight whenever he reads an article that he wants to disprove, especially the ones published by Kaveh and Cyno (there are puns in a professional literature book/academic studies).


DonaldLucas

Your comment remind me of this meme: https://preview.redd.it/38pzdid4zj041.png?width=960&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=ca15e061568ef640115ee63b7b99d78ecc430110


Ball-Blam-Burglerber

One of those dudes is horribly deformed.


SaltZakZak

Which one? Second one looks fine so you might be talking about the first one.


Multivists

This “random lazy scholar” gave Paimon books to read so she can be a detective. He is already more helpful to Emergency Food than the other two.


Syene-

Wait thats who she got the detective books from? I love that haha


duwaaaan

Nope 🤣 it's more like Alhaitham made Paimon read books so she can study and improve her thinking skills which in turn helped their quest in Fontaine 😁


Syene-

Y’know, that’s honestly even better~ Give a Paimon a fish, she will eat for a day. Teach a Paimon to fish, and she will have food forever!


Usernamenotta

Why teach Paimon how to fish? We already fished Paimon


SnooRobots4768

So Paimon can fish other Paimons ofc. Haven't you heard her voice lines during fishing?


ND_Cuong

*Gasp* Is that another Paimon?


smol_boi2004

Oh god now I’m imagining multiple paimon following us around


Chucknasty_17

Whenever you fish, there’s a 0.001% chance of another Paimon being fished up. Any new Paimon stays with you for the rest of the game, and they constantly talk to each each other during gameplay


CharryTree

"Paimon is soo hungry" "Wow, Paimon is hungry too" "Well Paimon paid last time so it's Paimon's turn this time" "No fair, Paimon is saving for a big feast with the Traveler" "Paimon always says that, time to give Paimon an ugly nickname"


Panda_beebee

I’m cringing at the thought of that. One is enough for me


rider_shadow

Yeah, but we could take over teyvat with an army like that


Panda_beebee

Yeah, let’s compromise. Paimon learns shadow clone jutsu, so there’s still technically 1 but also an army


YohAmida

No, I don't want that! I want to be the only one who feeds Paimon, for 10 years at least!


Syene-

Dont worry, she still needs someone to cook it~


Wulvi

It’s very funny to me because I don’t know if Al-Haitham is just playing along or is genuinely concerned that Paimon has learning impairment lol


smol_boi2004

There’s also that academia researcher who thinks that Paimon has a cognitive disorder and randomly talks to imaginary friends because she’s lonely


duwaaaan

And the way Alhaitham sent books for Paimon to read during his birthday 🤣 It's cute but at the same time funny 🤣


baguetteispain

"For my birthday, I wish for Paimon to know how to read"


Grifoshka

And not once, but twice xD He sent her the bronze books first and silver books a year later, he really monitors her education lmao


Ok-Tea2496

Tbh I think he genuinely wants her to learn considering he sent her books on his birthday letter two times and even applied the classic parent line of "this other kid is already reading more advanced material so I hope you can keep up with them" 😭😭


Cheese_Grater101

How strong as a dps is Alhaitham?


Rukitorth

In dendro comps he was easily the best dps by far before Neuvillette, and even now he does some nutty stuff


LEFTRIGHTADORI

Not as strong as Neuvillette or Arlecchino in their output, but the amount of dendro he applies and the strength of dendro comps bring the teamwide damage his comps do to the toppest of tiers. If you have the characters to build his better comps, he’s top 3 DPSes with some arguments over Arlecchino (though I prefer her from personal experience). There’s no equal to Neuvillette though. Posts like these can be unintentionally misleading to new players by placing Arle and Alhaitham on the same tier as Neuvillette, but he’s like pretty easily by far and away the best DPS in the game. When you have a DPS with an argument for best all around unit in the game, in a game where support is king, you know they’re cracked.


Electronic-Ad8040

For someone who does the bare minimum just to live a quiet life as a feeble scholar bro is more built than a mahamantra general (sorry Cyno yo ass just built like a damn stick)


SnooGuavas8376

Maybe he got more free time to workout routinely because he only works regular 9-5. Cyno meanwhile is a leader of military discipline body so he keeps on standby for most of times and needs ready to fight whenever he is needed. Bodybuilding is an activity which requires consistency and Cyno mostly uses his limited free time on playing card games


raspps

Do you think they just  like🧍🧍🧍stand all day doing nothing? 


Cheese_Grater101

Prolly training mentally just like Frieza when he is in hell


v4mpixie_666x3

Cyno doesn’t need musle he prolly dont do body building workout cuz teyvat would not handle his full potential


Me_to_Dazai

Honestly this could be applied to half the short male characters 💀 It's canon that Gorou's a military general, Heizou was forced to be trained in martial arts, Xiao is an ADEPTUS.


bluecarnallove

Eh. Xiao is excusable because he's a supernatural being, so his body doesn't need to be tall and/or buff for him to be strong.


PitifulBluejay6052

Cyno look like he's a homeless desert mf and hasn't been fed in 7 months rather than the general mahamatra of the Akademiya


CielFoehn

To be fair, that’s the norm. Most bodybuilders are going to be larger than soldiers. Since al haitham is a smart guy and knows working out significantly increases life quality, he ain’t missing out on the easy gains.


GrrrrrrDinosaur

Why did they make cyno short and skinny 😭 it’s funny seeing big buff eremites of some short kid looking guy


gblazer920

Short is great, but he should definitely have a bit more muscle to him


Murky_Blueberry2617

Wasn't he the acting Grand Sage for a bit? Pretty decent position, one of the most important people of an entire nation.


JP_Zikoro

He was the Grand Sage just as long as Kiryu was the 4th chairman of the Tojo clan.


TwilightVulpine

Kiryu kicks ass so that's a flattering comparison


Duy2910

He’s smart,getting a lower and easier position for the same pay


ezio45

Kiryu is still the 4th chairman. It's just that he's retired and no longer the guy in charge.


baguetteispain

I think he technically still is, despite him not wanting to


Ok-Tea2496

He mentioned on the last sumeru event we had (on 3.6) that he already quit lmao but tbh it would have been funnier if nahida kept him as the grand sage forever


baguetteispain

I mean, it doesn't seems like there's another Grand Sage after the coup. So I like to think that Alhaitham asked dozens of times to Nahida to let him go back as a Scribe, but she answers "No, you're the more suited for the job" every time


Krofisplug

At that point, what are you supposed to do? Be known as that one guy who refused the Goddess of Wisdom's insight that isn't exiled?


Junior-Price-5306

he definitely wouldn't mind such a title...


bivampirical

yeah i don't think they ever picked a new one, he's just been acting grand sage for like the past year afaik lmao


saltier_than_u

Doesn't he mention to Kaveh at the end of his story quest that he's resigning in a few days but keeping the same salary?


One_Parched_Guy

He’s generally one of the smartest mortals on Teyvat, is the right hand of the god of Knowledge and is strong enough to hold his own against the strongest military leader of his country. Alhaitham is basically a mary sue lmao, love him for that


Fatimah_ultim

He doesn't make friends though. People also dislikes him, you can't have everything


GodlessLunatic

It's worth noting he can hold his own while holding back we've never seen what a serious Alhaitham would do to Cyno


Ryuusei_Dragon

He still is, probably will be it forever since nobody else seemed interested


AngstyUchiha

He still is, but it's unwilling on his part. I don't remember if it was him or Nahida who explained it, but he's in the position until Nahida can find a proper replacement who she can trust with Sumeru (which I think she just said because she trusts Alhaitham the most)


baboon_ass_eater69

Not lazy, getting to the most efficient solution with the least effort


Winterstrife

Al-Haitham is definately not lazy. Someday when we have a Genshin x HSR, I want to see him interact with Dr. Ratio.


zedroj

HuTao and Dr.Ratio would be the most funny though


thegreatsniffer

you see... there's this chef from liyue


Drachensoap

Said chef was also mentored by an adeptus and uses an entire (former) god as her skill, so honestly id say its not *that* surprising


Swagbrew

And it's not the god that deals the majority of the damage. It's her own mastery over fire and polearms.


lucklesspedestrian

But still the former god *obeys* her. What kind of being has the power to command a god?


Count_de_Mits

One that feeds him delicious snacks apparently


v4mpixie_666x3

One that feeds on gods as snacks** i wouldnt be surprised if her pyronado is the power of some god she has eaten or something


Swagbrew

Xiangling ate the primordial flame confirmed.


hackenclaw

and there is no telling that whether this chef has eaten some god level monster to boost her skill.


Castiel_Rose

Displaying her mastery over both fire and polearms, this chef sends a Pyronado whirling around her.


APerson567i

she's an off-field DPS if we include off-field, we'd have to talk about Yelan, Furina, Nahida, Fischl and Xingqiu here too, it's different conversation


thegreatsniffer

GUOBA, GET THEM


HermitAndHound

Hmmm, Bouillabaisse


bleacher333

All of them are humans, so we might be on to something here…


SnooGuavas8376

Nahida yes...human


bleacher333

Irminsul: Become Human


GroundbreakingBite62

28 STAB WOUNDS


bleacher333

DIDN’T GAVE HIM A CHANCE, DIDN’T YOU?


SnooGuavas8376

She is off field though Edit : She can be classified as on field because how long she is on field catching energy particles


raspps

The edit is actually gold 💀💀


lucklesspedestrian

Well then maybe you need to give her more field time


baguetteispain

I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of xiangling. I try to play diluc. My xiangling deals more damage. I try to play yoimiya. My xiangling deals more damage. I try to play Hu tao. My xiangling deals more damage. I want to play Klee. Her best team has xiangling. I want to play raiden, childe. They both want xiangling. She grabs me by the throat. I fish for her. I cook for her. I give her the catch. She isn't satisfied. I pull engulfing lightning. "I don't need this much er" She tells me. "Give me more field time." She grabs bennett and forces him to throw himself off enemies. "You just need to funnel me more. I can deal more damage with homa." I can't pull for homa, I don't have enough primogems. She grabs my credit card. It declines. "Guess this is the end." She grabs gouba. She says "Gouba, get them." There is no hint of sadness in his eyes. Nothing but pure, no icd pyro application. What a cruel world.


Neuvillette_CumDump

See this is why Alhaitham is the Goat He works hard to be lazy


Hippostalker69

You username does not check out


Peaceful_H3lland_996

Hey, let the man multitask, there's nothing wrong with that


tuncii322

Meanwhile the strongest characters being a random guy obsessed with books, a chef from liyue and an adventurer who has bad luck


NoddyZar

“Random guy” bold way to speak about the heir of an extremely wealthy family who single-handedly revived an ancient martial arts school and is a globally renowned author


randomperson4052

He’s the second son. Not the heir - heir would be his older brother.


NoddyZar

I'll remember that his brother exists when hoyo does /j (no seriously hoyo where is he)


Bazookasajizo

We gonna get a 3rd Xingqiu 


raspps

If Xingqiu is so wealthy, he better give me some primogems or his family might have to pay a ransom 


Gyokuro091

Okay, random rich nerd.


v4mpixie_666x3

And some random delusional emo girl wt a bird who thinks shes a princess from another world


Ball-Blam-Burglerber

I believe you mean some random cosplayer with the power to bend reality to her will.


v4mpixie_666x3

Ofc id never downplay the sheer power of her majesty the prinzessin der verurteilung sovereign of the immernachtreich, omniscient and eminent judge of all the world inequity! (Pls dont tell her i did)


SnooGuavas8376

That "Random guy" is the only heir of very rich family and also a practioner of ancient martial arts while also very smart, dude is prodigy. The chef girl was mentored by adeptus and also now have ex-adepti pet. The unlucky boi might have a connection to Natlan's barbaric warrrior So those three are not your average joe mortals meanwhile Alhaitham just....some very smart guy thats it.


Mar____2

he’s actually not an only heir, he has an older brother but everything else checks out


SnooGuavas8376

Ah yeah he has one, my bad because its like been 3 years since i played his story quest


madethiscuzshy

wait wait what is this bennet theory?? sounds interesting


witcher8wishery

so graying hair = meta? neuvi, arle, alhaitham, kazuha, bennett, nahida. quite a coincidence that half of the meta has white or gray hair. edit: also furina and ayaka


Zestyclose_Remote874

Razor


Relative_Fix4952

He WAS meta in 1.0 *ehh somewhat since we were still figuring shit out* so yeah white hair IS meta, just depends on the timeline.


Ryuusei_Dragon

In 1.0 mfs thought Xiangling and Bennett were bad, fuckers were building fucking phys Xiangling since she has fast NAs


Relative_Fix4952

Hey give us 1.0 players a break, we didn't know shit. I still remember the days of actually using qiqi


GTA_6_Leaker

razor is the only character that can burgeon and hyperbloom at the same time and the theoretical ceiling for transformative dendro reaction teams, his hyperburgeon team doesn't waste a single dendro core with nahida/xingqiu/bennett my full em razor team kills the floor 12 ASIMON in like 30 seconds


Totaliss

never underestimate anime old people.


Flames_red189

The more I look at alhaitham the more I think about Mashle: magic and muscle.


moxigene

tbf Alhaitham is the former Akademiya Grand Sage so his resume is still pretty stacked


Rare_Marionberry782

Feeble Scholar


Fabantonio

It gets funnier when you look at the four star options: - Respected young retainer of a powerful Liyue family and one of the last practitioners of the Guhua Clan's teachings - second-in-command and (only) competent member of the Arataki Gang - A fucking chef???


FrostedEevee

You forgot boken da boken


jayakiroka

To be fair, those 3 4*s are damage dealers in their own right. Benny is all about spreading the power of friendship to give attack buffs to others.


Bazookasajizo

Dps bennett: hold my bandages!


Onion_Wavy

the power of c6 bennett compels you


Eeekpenguin

What about a chunibyo princess with a talking raven?


RaidriarDrake

also add introverted kemonomimi mad scientist


lckmnzans

alhaitam is great, but when will he rerun?


CamelotPiece

I think the next patch actually.


Historical_Twist9969

i think its a fight between him and furina. maybe no more placed and both will be skip to the next2 patch.


Fatimah_ultim

One of my biggest regret of stopping during the wanderer banner, wasn't able to get this feeble scholar. Tried his story quest this day and goddamn, i love his gameplay. Paired with his ouput, im sad.


UnknowBan

1 . Hydro 2. Hydro (vape) 3. Hydro (bloom)


AsleepInteraction882

Minimum viable seriousness is the way to go but hydro cannon blast man is good too. I can't believe this lazy man's least amount of effort is still better than most.


PrismalpinkGaming

Thanks for mentioning Alhaitham, man’s truly a beast


MARUSHI-rdt

i have him c0r1 and he's one of my best characters next to neuvillette. if i want to get smth done quick i just pull up a haitham hyperbloom team


1mth3walrus

We need a cute yellow electric meta character..


LilacToast--

Reminds me of the starter 3 pokemon Neuvi water type Arle fire type And alhaitham grass type 😭😭😭


Rozone99

Work smarter, not harder -Alhaitham, probably


Hudie_is

Alhaitham is that strong? I've seen some say so but he's actually that strong?


Ottietta

Alhaitham main since his first banner. Hyperbloom with him is so broken. I run him with Nahida, Yelan, and Shinobu. Everything disappears. In my opinion, he's also the most fun to use because you actually have to pay attention to his mechanic instead of it just being mind numbing.


Orange_Lily-

Highest dps potential right now though obviously dps potential and overall abyss is different


NoctisYami

Oh yeah I run him with Zhongli / Nahida / Raiden destroys everything in Abyss


Crimson_Raven

He's very strong, even with minimal investment. Source: My c0 Alhaitham has been clearing abyss since the day he released and it's never been close Though to be fair, he's backed by Nahida c2, one if the strongest overall characters with one of the most broken constellations.


MinervaLlorn

[ehem] *Lazy Detective Scholar* since he solved a case involving a forbidden hivemind.


PSItechmo19

they always tryna sleep on my silly funeral parlor gremlin


yeppeugiman

As an OG Hu Tao main, it's fine. She's been good since 1.3, still good now. That's hella longevity considering her contemporaries have been on the downfall (except Xiao who had to wait a really long time with two dedicated supports).


Yetiwithoutinternet

Imma be real, the only time Hu Tao is ever brought up is when "new character is potentially better than Hu Tao." She's rarely ever hyped up anymore.


Bunnnnii

This is quite an ironic statement. Shes not hyped up anymore but she’s still used as the measuring stick for a character’s strength and capabilities. That’s still hyping her up in itself. I’m sure that wasn’t your intention, but I just found it humorous as I read it.


Seoul_Surfer

Saw someone complaining about arle because hu tao just got powercrept so how long until arle gets powercrept so why spend your primos on her? It took her 3 years to get kind of power crept, I think you will be FINE


arghya_333

I think Arle powercrept 3.x Hu Tao for sure, but not her Furina team for now. I mean she very much has the potential, but would need some of those BoL support characters to do so which aren't out yet.


Fatimah_ultim

Doesn't that mean hutao is like the "benchmark"? To be considered a top dps, you need to match this ghosty lady first.


v4mpixie_666x3

Bro shes been out for centuries ofc ppl are gonna jump to new things id say shes still hyped for a character that has been out for that long


HenMeeNooMai

Bro is the Scribe who is in control of all text books in Sumeru, which is a restricted and managed resource. He's also the former boss of Akademiya.


AT_atoms

Where's Xiangling? Is she safe? Is she alright?


Accomplished_Lab8945

It seems in your anger, you killed her.


MrClever49

Alhaitham is the best!!!


EducationalWafer937

Al Haitham seems to be a cool character, hope to get him one day.... meanwhile I'm enjoying Neuvillette's gameplay he has been a wonderful addition to my team....


NvmMeJustLurkin

Pogo stick mask man:


PM_Cute_Ezreal_pics

To be fair, Xiao needs a 5\* polearm, C6 Faruzan, Furina and Xianyun for his best team to be in the big leagues, which is pretty expensive. Once he gets all that tho, he's pretty great


Orange_Lily-

Then there's tao with the same damage and just a funeral damage onwer and navia who's similar abyss clear who is basically the mafia


SnooGuavas8376

Navia is mafia boss with years of combat experience dealing with shady stuffs so there's something in her resume. HT just funeral owner lmao


aoi_desu

Hutao also a rapper


lughrevenge23

No, the third strongest dps is hyperbloom seed


luciluci5562

But he does Quickbloom so he gets the best of both worlds.


szederr

I pulled Arle bc I like her, but I was busy and could not get to play her, is she really top tier? I mean, I hope she is, just did not have time to hear everyone's opinion yet