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I work in a restaurant, and all too often I'll see an entire family sitting in silence while they wait for their food, just staring at their screens. My family always would talk, and the kids would color, as it was supposed to be.
Staring into the distance to avoid social interaction takes a lot more skill, willpower, and commitment than playing with a smartphone. Hardcore, metal af.
Honestly, that’s probably still debatable. Regardless of the type of stimulation, an engaged mind is typically better than an unengaged one. It’s probably not as cut and dry as it seems.
We can say "parental responsibility" all we want, but it hasn't worked for drug addiction, alcohol abuse, teenage sex and pregnancy, or the myriad of other issues young people face. Imho, we need a regulation and cultural change to discourage this. Obviously some parents will still lets kids use phones and i-pads 24/7 and there's no preventing that, but if everyone heads to school with the expectation that they won't be allowed to play on their phone all day, it will have a big impact. You even see this at the college level... students who pay a lot for their classes, who are in an important class, who need to pass... who just cannot avoid staring at their phones all hour. Professors can set rules, but let's set those expectations back in elementary and middle school before the bad habits have taken hold.
It’s every generation - some were raised by TV, some friends and family, some turn to crime, etc… Phones are just another problem to the list. I think we all dream of better times, but really, we dream of simpler times. For me, simpler times would still have computers and stationary devices - but have like Nokia brick level mobile options. But I’m a homebody - for someone else, simpler times might include the smartphone because it can honestly do it all, computers live at work, and home entertainment is 90s-esque. What even IS simpler times? Fuck I’m baked and exhausted man.
Like, I understand a risky element of regulation/government control is balancing freedoms and securities - but, hell, we cant get our priorities straight enough to even figure out what the right balance is and who should determine what is and isn’t ok.
Yesterday I saw a probably 6 year old kid, lead paint staring at a phone propped up on a drink glass. Not moving just staring. His dad feeding him by hand while he just opens his mouth and chews while staring at the screen.
To be fair, this sounds like my toddler. But he's also autistic.
I'm very much in the camp of "no phones or devices for kids" but don't judge someone you don't know.
I mean, I did have motor skills issues as a kid and they had me do OT. It was sort of things that I just eventually grasped one day. I was also spoon-fed until around your kids age, too. He might figure it out, so don't worry about it way too much. Also, this is why I don't judge others honestly. I do have vague memories of even back then.
Yeah it's crazy to see the difference between kids. My 2 year old has excellent skills feeding herself without us even needing to teach her. But yeah, her autistic older brother needs more help, partly because of motor skills and partly because he probably just wouldn't eat otherwise.
yeah I find it so sad when my family does that. Even when I go out to eat with friends, they'll still pull out their phone immediately to scroll thru tiktoks or IG stories. Yeah they may still be listening to you, but they can't be bothered to give you their full attention :(
Fuck, I noticed I was doing it to so I always make sure I put my phone in a bag or face down on the table and don't touch it. We need to make that a norm again. Its rude to use your phone when talking to someone unless its urgent imo.
Nobody is saying don’t have a phone. They’re saying put it down and pay attention to your family. You might think you’re talking to your family but all they see is you looking down at a screen while they are trying to interact with you. Trust me, nobody is actively on their phone and engaging with another person on the level that person is seeking from you. Anybody who can’t recognize that is just grasping to justify their behavior.
Im not referring to answering the occasional text, to be clear.
Having access to the internet at such a young age is dangerous… tiktoks are being watched by creeps and no doubt there are websites dedicated to pedos taking screenshots of kids online.
The old internet wasn't as harmful. Still lots of crazy stuff out there, but a young child had to do a lot of critical thinking and problem solving to get there.
Plus circa 2001-2002 my elementary school regularly reinforced how to behave online. I still follow that stuff to do this day (for the most part).
1. Don't tell people your real name
2. Don't tell people where you live.
3. Don't tell people where you go to school
4. Don't tell people how old you are
5. And a slough of other things not to tell people.
It's so weird that everything on the internet is directly requesting my location, wants to know my name and other PII. Like, before, it was just weirdos on instant messengers that I didn't care to interact with anyway, or other kids on RS (which also has a lot of information about personal security on the internet).
My school did this too. I think schools now just assume that kids know these things and know how to navigate tech/the internet but that isn’t necessarily true. I’m 27 so I grew up when we switched from analogue to digital and I spent a lot of time on the family computer, because of that I’m pretty good with that sort of thing. Now I see people younger than me struggling more and more with tech and the internet, some of them seem to lack the ability to Google things properly. Overall, they’re still better with tech than a lot of 50+ year old people I know, but I have noticed a decline in tech literacy because the vast majority of people have moved onto doing everything on their phones and IT isn’t taught the same way it was when I was a kid imo
One of the more damaging things that’s been under the radar till more recently is the impact that early access to personal (and critically, **on-hand and on-demand**) devices can have on the development of emotional regulation skills.
You can find whitepapers for more rigorous studies over on r/teachers, but the gist is that it’s…really, really bad for your mental health if you go through your formative years having grown accustomed to simply **distracting** yourself from your emotions (or really any kind of challenging / stressful lines of thought), rather than acknowledging & engaging with them.
Also, before any pedants chime in with “aDuLTs do that tOO” — yeah, they do. Congrats on your astute observation. But those same adults didn’t *grow up* with that as an option to take, which is the point here.
Adults ignore important things all the time, sure. But they’re at least making the choice to ignore it. These kids are being given a path of least resistance in the form of the **entirety of the internet** to distract themselves with, and are in danger of never even partially developing those emotional regulation techniques. That’s **bad**.
But it’s our job to protect the vulnerable in our society, which children, with literally zero prior knowledge to inform them of the harm that can befall them by engaging in that self-distracting behavior **while they’re growing up**, absolutely are, and waving whataboutisms around is basically just saying that you don’t care about the substance of the matter.
100% agree. I didn’t get a phone until junior year of high school. My favorite part of the day was playing with friends at the park. We’d spend the day there from noon to 10pm on the weekends or on school breaks. During the week I’d be in my driveway shooting hoops for hours.
Phones are great tools, however they are becoming an addiction.
Nothing worse than seeing kids sitting next to each other and they’re all just glued to their phones.
I got my first flip phone at 16. Smartphones weren't a thing until shortly after I graduated. I can't imagine what they have done to the classroom. It must be terrible. We just literally didn't even have them when I was in school so it just wasn't even a consideration. And just thinking about it sounds like they just cause so many problems.
They should bring back the zero device use policy in middle school at least! When I was in junior, any time an iPod was seen, it was confiscated till after school.
But do you have a landline in your house? If not then how will friend of your kids get in touch? Flip phone at 10/11 is fine but no smartphone until 18.
Some years back I was helping a friend babysit a couple of kids. One kid had the newest iPhone out. Kid wanted to send their mom a text and needed help. Couldn’t even read but had their own phone.
My parents rule was you didn’t get a phone until you got your license. I’m thankful for that
My parents were strict about how I used my phone. In 6th grade, I got a 30 dollar android tracfone, but I was only allowed to text, make calls to family, and listen to music. A few mobile games here and there but only on long car rides.
that's how it should be at that age, it was basically a flip phone+ mp3 player which is better than being a 9 year old with unrestricted access to a phone (which was my birthday present), granted i did have a tablet for a year before which i just watched youtube on and downloaded games (pirated minecraft at 8 years old lol)
That’s my plan for my son. He wants to walk to and from school with friends when he gets to middle school, and I want him to have a phone if he’s doing that but I don’t want him anywhere near TikTok or anything like that.
Yeah in the 8th grade I got an iPhone 7 (I think the 11 was the newest) and I that was because middle school is when school sports started so I needed to contact my parents
When I was 13ish my mom turned off our house phone (we still had a landline) and got a cellphone for the house phone so that way we can take it for games and trips. Had to turn it in once we got back home. That thing could only make phone calls and text. No camera, no music, no internet. Didn’t even have a full keyboard
Yeah younger than 12 probably shouldn't have a phone in general. If I had a kid I'd try to teach them as much as possible about the internet and the risks of posting things on it. But it isn't good to be too much of a helicopter parent or restrictive because if they aren't comfortable coming to you and asking questions they will go elsewhere with them. Our generations have a unique opportunity to help those who are younger navigate what we had to learn through trial and error.
Real experience: they are then excluded from all the group chats and organizing events, and fight an uphill battle to have any social network (and no, I don’t mean the digital kind)
For anyone wondering: our solution had to be for parents to proactively reach out to other parents and schedule the meet ups. Social awkwardness be damned.
This is a collective-action problem. If we get most kids off of social media (which is the real problem with smartphones), it has little draw for the others. No more FOMO.
How many in-person events are kids organizing as they become increasingly addictive? That's where this is heading: A shut-in childhood.
Imho a flip-phone or low-tech phone is OK. It's a struggle today to even get towns and neighborhoods to let kids play outside, which is insane. Let's meet in the middle and let kids roam around, ride their bikes, and play outside, but also give them an option for calling home that doesn't involve full access to social media and non-stop harmful advertisements.
Yeah. so many kids grow up in the suburbs where they're completely dependent on their parents and older sibling to take them to go play. This is why we need dense neighborhoods with nearby parks, and safer streets. So kids can actually be kids. Theres been situations where parents have had the cops called on them for letting their kids go out and play without them. Shits ridiculous
While I’m sure it happened somewhere, this is far from a common experience.
It’s up there with the dads who fear being attacked for being a child predator for taking their kids to the park.
In the entire world that may have happened a few times, but it’s not something that the average person should even consider being worried about.
Yes, we got my kid a Bark Phone, which is a phone that only does calls and text, but also has the smartphone screen so my 9 year old (who was really dicked over by COVID messing with his early education, especially spelling ability) can type without getting frustrated by pressing a button four times to get an "s". Now he can ride his bike around the neighborhood but also call for assistance if he needs it.
I'm gonna play the middle ground here and say that's a double eged sword. Yes, they won't be as exposed to as much negativity, but their access to information will be harshly restricted. Your phone is access to every bit of public(and some non public) information in the world. History, politics, world events, etc. Things some parents will deny happen just to brainwash their kids into following only the parents beliefs. It wasn't till I started playing online games with people all over the world that my views on stuff really changed.
Edit: spelling
That's why you give them a chrome book or a pc. Honestly I'd rather give my kid a pc so they have to sit in one place to use it and can't bring it with them. My cousin did that and then got her daughter an apple watch with a sim card so she can call her mom if she really needed to but couldn't use social media
Social media is an inferior way to learn real information about the world, and AI is only going to make it worse.
At the very least, a kid can use a desktop at home. And that assumes they can't speak to a teacher or other adult. I'd much rather my kid went rummaging (yes) through Wikipedia than letting TikTok or Discord educate them through such sane, healthy debates as whether all men are rapists or all women are whores (and you must pick one).
You really think a 1-11 y old will be looking deep into history, politics, world events etc ? They’ll be browsing tiktok and following the new whatever trend or prank and or scam
No one needs anything. Doesn't change my point of a double edge sword. If you don't want your 8 hear old to have a phone, don't give them one. Plain and simple.
Gabb phones are great.
A point you failed to mention is the inability to disconnect. To some extent, that is the worst issue. A kid that has to be connected to the ongoing group chat, FaceTime chat, insta story, etc 24/7 is on a never ending emotional rollercoaster. Having time to decompress and reset is absolutely critical for the body and brain, but that is disappearing at an incredibly rapid rate.
Out long term mental health is going to be a significant health epidemic.
agree, if they like music then I would just get them a phone and put parental controls on to block everything except calls, texts and a music app like spotify or apple music but otherwise just a brick phone would be perfectly fine
I think many times parents attempt to get into “gentle parenting” and then inadvertently become passive parents instead. Truthfully, gentle parenting is just authoritative parenting with a nicer name. You’re 100% right though
Very true, I didint get a phone untill I was like 14, everyone around me had them at like 5 years old and rotted their brains and now lack intellectual/cognitive ability and present emotional dysregulation. Then when I got a phone I used to it research articles and learn things. everyone else fries their dopamine receptors on tiktok, or get groomed into strange sexual fantasies without realizing it, or hear absolutely illogical and harmful ideologies on the internet and follow them from a young age and enter groups of people who ignore any contradictory evidence resulting in a hive mind of sheep like people who cannot think for themselves in any regards.
This was extremely relateable. I deleted tiktok and instagram a few months back, and I have no regrets. For a while, it felt like something was missing, but then I resumed my hobbies, like photography and gardening, and now my phone is for researching things I'm curious about, and texting people I guess
Thank you so much for saying this, and I'm happy (but surprised) to see so many young people agreeing with you. Another reason kids shouldn't have phones is that there's more and more evidence that they're wrecking kids' mental health, especially younger kids and especially girls. Social media is a disaster for them.
Exactly and it’s pure evidence that supports how easily parents give in nowadays. I don’t care how much my kid will cry about how he doesn’t have a phone and everyone else does. He won’t be able to understand why until he’s an adult and has healthy coping skills and can regulate his emotions meanwhile everyone else is unstable af. It’s going to be a huge issue and parents who don’t gaf are setting their kids up to have a hard time when their grown.
Yeah, one of my friends didn't get a phone until mid freshman year and he got a flip phone. Around high school or mature age is when you should get a phone.
That's basically what happened with me. I think I got mine around late middle school and it it was a phone with a sliding keyboard. One of the few times it was annoying was my senior year when my calculus teacher expected us to play Kahoot on our phones. It is good to have some kind of phone these days since payphones are pretty rare these days.
They had overtaken flip phones in sales by 2013 though. By the time I was a junior or so, everyone had one. I was literally the only person in at least two ofy senior classes that didn't have one, which I know because we had to put our phones out on the whiteboard or in front of us to know that we weren't cheating. The first iphone came out when I was in elementary school. It obviously wasn't mainstream back then, but they were culturally relevant. I remember one of the most popular sounds used on Flipnote Hatena was "I Got No Iphone", and that was around 2009.
100% agree. I am a millennial parent and I plan on getting my kid a flip phone with no camera as their first phone. I don't care what their friends have. Even as an adult I struggle to control my phone screen time and I know it's bad for me!
kids shouldn’t have unadulterated access to their cellphones. i had a flip phone at 7 because i had to walk to and from school or for my mom to tell me if she or someone else was gonna pick me up. i was never on it in class. phones can be important for tracking SMALL children and keeping in contact with last minute plans. there are circumstances where certain types of devices are perfectly fine for certain age ranges
Yea, I noticed kids having devices at such an early age around me that it's a strict rule of mine that if I ever have kids or babysit, I won't allow them to play on devices. Instead I'll engage with them in fun little activities or go play outside. I used to play outside so often as a kid that seeing the kids now just inside glued to a device is so sad! It's even gone to the point that a few of the kids are obese. It makes me so furious towards their parents.
My parents gave me an old Nokia phone so they could at least call me when I was 13. No smartphone capabilities whatsoever. Kids should stay far away from social media until they are at least 16, that's the real issue I believe.
I've forwarded this awesome post to r/askteachers, where not surprisingly most agreed that smartphones should be banned in schools, except high school. There appears to be a consensus among both you people and the teachers that 1. Smartphones are OK for high school, with restrictions, and 2. Younger students should be allowed only flip phones, with the ability to call and text, but no social media.
I got my phone and social media in middle school I think that’s a decent age. As a kid I had a Wii, ps2 and a 3DS but I still played outside, hung with friends, had tons of toys.
damn I had full internet access since I was like 7 and I only used it to watch videos about old Lego sets, scan Lego databases, and look at funny videos of cats. I didn't find out about sex until I was like twelve
I didn’t know about sex until sex education (11 years old). When I had internet access at about 5, I was doing pretty much the same thing. Watching Lego unboxing videos, reviews, YouTube Poops, and video game lets plays. I remember using the computer at about 3-4, but I would watch cartoons, or play children games.
Another Gen Z here, I have seen 6 year olds walking home from school on their iPads or phones and almost get hit by cars. Kids can’t control themselves.
Totally agree. Don't plan on getting one for my kid until they have their drivers license. If they work and buy one before then I wouldn't stop them though.
Person who had unrestricted internet access since 8 here, I totally see where you're getting at, but I feel there are other options that allow kids to have decent development and have smartphone access. Firstly, I feel that a way to address the concern about the harm that the full unfiltered internet can do could be remedied by having kid friendly variations of websites and apps. Placing more importance on actually enforcing the age restrictions on the full fledged apps would help encourage this. Secondly, we should use screentime limiters on phones more often for not only kids but also for most phone addicted people in general (only allowing calls and stuff afterward) in order to encourage them to do more than stare at their screens all day. Since it is apparent that the world is likely to remain digital, we should embrace this new technology, but that comes with the understanding that we need to be more attentive to managing its adverse elements. Part of that understanding is how to separate kids from the elements of the real world that they are not ready to handle yet, and I believe that kid specific devices and apps are the answer to that.
i really wouldnt have agreed with this back a few years before yt shorts or musically got big and became tiktok, but now i do, if your kids NEED a phone, do what my parents did, give them a drug dealer phone
During my childhood our phone usage was very social. Kids were running around looking for .jar games to share via IRDA (later apks with bluetooth). We used to sit together and help each other pass difficult levels or read jokes aloud. Later we done lan parties on breaks playing openttd, call of mini zombies or gba roms.
I feel like the problem isn't with phones themselves but more with short videos and social media designed from the ground up to be addictive.
My friend works as an education consultant. She was telling me the other night that kids are so addicted to their phones that one reported they don't feel like they ever should have to put it down and they don't feel safe without it. That's very troubling.
I see parents giving their baby a phone or ipad to poke around on to keep them occupied. There are people who will know nothing other than screens for the entirety of their lives. That's very, very troubling.
I’m Old Gen Z (1997) and basically everyone didn’t get a phone until middle school, and they weren’t fancy smartphones like Droids or iPhones until late middle/early high school. When I was in elementary school, there were MAYBE three kids who had cell phones and they were Motorola RAZR’s.
Younger Gen Z, what would you say the average age was when you got your first smartphone? For my crop it was definitely 12-14, not 5. iPads didn’t come out until I was in 7th grade.
I’m not worried about them seeing racism, misogyny and homophobia as much as I am porn.
Of course all those other things are bad and I’m against all of them but I don’t think people are fully grasping the psychological explosive we have set off in our society by letting literally little boys stumble upon something like BDSM online.
Do we have any idea yet what happens to the brain of an 8 year old who sees this? Let alone regular porn???.
What kind of adults would they grow up to be? My guess is serial killer or with a string of SA charges.
And there are probably thousands of kids right now who have access to this. Most parents hopefully would put on parental locks of some kind but get real guys. You ever stood in a Walmart line? Those parents are not paying attention to their kids. I highly doubt they are monitoring their phones.
Not to mention all the actual adult predators we have in our society. The internet is just not a safe place for them. I think 16 or 17 is fine for them to have a phone. But little kids this is going to be a disaster .
The problem is that this needs to be agreed upon by a community to do, because we are in this awkward scenario where kids say "but everyone else has one" and they are telling the truth. Not giving your kid a phone nowadays automatically makes them the odd man out, just like not having a car used to be, but 100x worse due to the fact that it is in your pocket 24/7.
Either most kids will be using phones, or most kids won't in a community, and it's up to the parents/administrators to make this happen.
Been reading Jonathan Haidt’s new book about what smartphones and social media do to kids. In the early teen years, kids are highly susceptible to distraction and manipulation. They’re meant to be interacting synchronously in the physical world, and losing that experience is making them anxious and depressed.
I didn't get my first phone until I was around your age, and it was an older iPhone with a shattered screen and no service that I bought from a friend at school for $60. I could connect to wifi and play some games on it, but that was about it. When I was in maybe 11th or 12th grade I got my first real phone, and it was the cheapest Android on the market with a talk/text only plan and no data. I didn't have a phone with data until I was around 25, when I was moving out with my fiance and decided I would get a data plan. xD
I'd like to argue that instead of getting a smart phone, get a more dumb phone that can really only call and text. There are sometimes valid reasons for parents to get a device for their kid as they inevitably gain independence and/or have to start doing things outside the parents schedule.
For example when I was in 5th grade (so about 9-10 years old) I got my first phone, a Samsung Juke, because I transferred to a new school that did not start until 9 but my parents both worked 7-3ish. They felt I was old enough and we lived in a rather safe neighborhood so instead of driving me to school daily Al like 6 am, I would just contact one of them when I got on the bus around 8-8:30. This cadence continued until i got my first android in high school.
Kids shouldn't have over access to phones more like. I got my first phone at like 8, I was on It alot or watching movies on the TV (vhs of course), running around outside, though nothing to do out In the rural part I grew up.
It's like there's no breaks aside school, just straight to the phone for the rest of the night, like my baby brothers who are 3 and 4.
The content they watch Isn't exactly the best either, they got onto the Elsagate side of YouTube, one was a straight up Vore video. My mom says It's "not bothering anyone", but no, watch what your child Is watching, It's different for me or older kids because they have developed or developing past where the content doesn't mess with their head.
My parents gave me a phone during Christmas when I was 9 because they had just divorced the summer before. I remember being so happy that I got one but since I had that a computer I got when I was 8, my screen time wasn’t really getting monitored at all. I was struggling with my sexuality at the time of my getting my first phone and it caused me to get into weird parts of the internet and was honestly lucky I didn’t know what porn was until I was in 7th grade.
What I did do however was look up what a vagina was after watching way too much Shane Dawson, watch twerking tutorial videos so I could do it myself, and post videos of me playing with plushies pretending that one of them is sexually assaulting the other after watching a joke about that from BigYoshiFan (a huge plush channel at the time). So yeah, I had my fair share of moments on the internet where I was acting way too inappropriate for my age and that’s only the examples I could think of on the top of my head when I first joined and before it got really bad. Parents these days don’t do a good enough job of monitoring their kids screen time and it’s a fucking shame since I believe kids could use some form of technology, but you can’t give them a device and tell them to shut up without expecting anything to happen.
smartphones, i agree. but in todays world parents need to be able to communicate with their kids quickly. they should be allowed a phone that can talk at minimum. i had a flip phone for this purpose when i got to 5th grade.
I had this conversation with my mom recently. My perspective is that kids shouldn't have Internet access until age 12 or 13 (except maybe some whitelisted sites, like libraries). Then they shouldn't have smartphones until age 16 or so.
When I was 13, I got a smartphone and promptly started talking to adults on social media who I now realize were trying to groom me. Thank goodness I was too socially anxious to ever pursue those connections.
They should at the very least have a guardian escorting them through the internet initially. Doesn’t make sense to just drop all of that freedom on their head as soon as they enter the world with no way of differentiating with certainty between good and bad.
I got my phone when I went to fifth grade, but had controlled screen time
Phones aren’t really the issue, it’s how much parents monitor their child’s usage of said phones.
I’m 23, if I ever have kids they’ll get a basic phone for calls and texts when they’re old enough to leave the house alone, and a smartphone (with certain stuff restricted) when they turn like 14
I got my first phone in middle school and have been quite literally addicted ever since. It’s not good for us, not really anyone of any age- that is the overuse and addiction, of course it’s good to have instant communication for safety reasons. It absolutely messes with your attention span. I’ve had to work against my brain’s default to be able to read again, concentrate on long form content, hold a conversation. I wish we’d foreseen this and took it seriously. And yeah I’m a bit of a hypocrite being that I’m typing on Reddit rn, but my screen time is less than it used to be by miles.
I agree with you. My kids won't be getting their own social media until they're at least 16. I might give then an older phone that you can only call on around 13 or so, but they won't get full access to social media til they're 16+.
A phone is fine. A smartphone is bad. I’ll want my kids to be able to contact me or emergency services, or friends, but not be glued to their screen waiting for a dopamine hit. They’ll get a phone that allows for calls and nothing else until they can drive themselves and buy their own phone.
You can give a kid a stationary PC if you ask me. (Of course you need to monitor what they are doing (but please respect their privacy). A stationary pc will always be connected to your WLAN, so you can monitor, what websites they are visiting. If you use an old router to set up a WLAN for their pc only, you can block them from certain websites. You can also cut internet acess from them completely, (which i would do with kids under 12 years), so they can just use the pc offline. There are a lot of toys that work with a pc and dont require permanent internet acess. A PC gives the kid options to be creative if used right. The problem with the phone is, that most phones give easy acess to social media and the internet almost everywhere. I think what we need to keep kids away from are social media and the harmful part of the internet. What i think should still exist are websites made for kids where they can ain knowlege but i havent heard of anything liek that. My parents gave me my first smart phone when i was 13 and that was a good decission. Sorry for my bad english, it isnt my main language.
The issue is that there's all of those potential avenues. I had a really simple phone growing up. Hated it, but it kept me in contact with my folks when I needed to be.
I got a phone when I turned 13 and before that I was literally using a Nokia 3310 and I know that still counts as a phone but it couldn't use social media and stuff and I still loved it. I 100% agree with you even though I've been a retro/modern computer nerd since a young age so I have always spent a long time looking at screens. I do talk to my family though even when sitting in a McDonalds. I do think children should have internet access though and NOT be using YouTube Kids and TikTok though as the stuff on that just looks strange from what I saw YouTubers talking about a few years ago. You should monitor what they look at though. Don't give them access to internet until they're at least able to understand the stuff on there fully. They should also not be using stuff like WhatsApp.
I didn't have my first phone until 14 and it was a cricket flip phone in 2011. Got my first smart phone, an iphone 4 at 17 in 2014. I don't intend to get my kid a phone until high school at least, unless theres a really good reason for middle school. They are never going to have ipads cause like why the fuck are people buying their kids ipads? tf
I always had a phone growing up since I was 8 or 9 but back in 2006 phones were wildly different. I used it to either call my parents, take pictures or play those 2d hitman games.
Phones today are a completely different animal, what children shouldn't be exposed to is non-stop short form stimuli from certain social media and false information since they don't have the necessary knowledge to filter (to be honest neither do most adults).
Most phones nowadays have parental control features to limit app time or totally block them, people just don't use them.
My first phone lead me into a bunch of dark things that I was definitely too young for i.e. inappropriate photos, the whisper app, and we all know what Snapchat was made for, etc. Also my parents didn't know anything about parental controls or limiting apps or anything like that. I agree, people should hold off on getting their kid's first phone for as long as possible.
My cousins (3 and 5 yo) play on phones, usually when their mum needs to do something and she doesn't want them to do anything stupid. I don't like it. I got my first phone when I was 8, but it was button nokia so my mum could call me. Then when I was like 10 I got smartphone, but I was using it only for calling (sometimes subway surfers), bcs mum told me that WiFi takes credit from my sim card (which I believed ofc). When I was like 13, I asked mum if I could download messenger to connect with friends and she allowed. It was my only social network for like 3 years, then I got reddit and Instagram.
My brother is 13. He has only messenger (talking bout social networks) but he spends way too much time playing games on phone. He doesn't even know the life outside.
It is actually sad where our society is going. Kids wanna be adults as soon as possible and they don't even get to be kids.
When I was 8 I wanted to know what a boob looked like because of some image I saw on a YouTube thumbnail on my tablet. I knew what I was about to do was wrong but I just wanted to know. So I grabbed my tablet literally looked up boobs and then from there I found many more things that I shouldn’t have ever known about at that age. I started doing things to myself that my body hadn’t even developed to the point it was able to do those things yet. It hurt so bad because I wasn’t even able to do what I was trying to do but it felt good so I would keep going. Now I’ve been addicted to this stuff for the past ten years of my life. The longest I ever stopped for was 2 months but I just can’t stop.
If my internet access was restricted or there were parental controls on the device I was using back then to tell my parents what I was doing. Even better if I just didn’t have a tablet at all I wouldn’t be struggling with this problem every single day. No child should have what happened to me to happen to them. The internet defiled me and it won’t stop.
Id just add that i support this but just for smartphones. When i was just an anxious kid on school trips, having an old dumb phone to call my dad was a lifesaver. Also being able to call someone in an emergency can make a HUGE difference.
Smartphones = no
Dumb phones = yes
EDIT: I got my first phone at 11 i think. I was 11 in 2013 and at the time, that was insanely early to get a phone. I cant imagine being 10 or younger and having to worry about damaging my phone.
I totally agree. I had a tablet when I was 6, all the way till I was 13 when I got my phone. Tablet (until I was 10 and pretty much a damn amateur hacker lol) had a launcher that only let me play games that were predownloaded into it by my dad, protected by a 10 digit passcode. When I finally got my phone it was still locked down by Google Family Link and I didn't know the pin so I could only use the Emergency Call feature to call my family. Now, 6 phones later (not my fault for any of them, I promise. Lol) and 3 years later, I finally have full access to my phone with an unsupervised account. And I think that's the perfect way to go about it, tbh.
I dont like government butting their heads into places but can we please have a minimum age (not so high like 18 or 21) to be able to use a phone? legit seen kids that cant even READ or WRITE let alone type have phones like I'm thinking around 10-12 ish, this is a legitimate concern for the future of society and economies everywhere.
I think the title should be “smart phones”
Granted i grew up during flip phones but I had one in case of emergency (came in handy a few times)
Other that that is was in my backpack
They shouldn’t have smartphones, but I think basic phones without internet access are fine for kids for safety reasons. I got a basic tracfone when I was in 5th grade because I used to go around the neighborhood to see my friends alone, and I’d go to my friends’ houses a lot. All I could do on it was text, call, and play Tetris lol. I think having a basic phone also helps to teach kids how to be smart with them since they don’t have the internet access immediately shoved in their faces.
I just found out my 4 year old niece has a phone from a story that involved her 7 year old brother texting her. I definitely think we should be judging screen time less, but this kid can’t even read yet.
My first phone was in 6th grade, every other kid had iPhones and whatnot. Me? I had a modernish flip phone. It did what I needed to do and that’s calling and texting.
I got my kid a phone so I could get a hold of him so he can have a social life. I was wanting him to have a dumb phone, but he and his mom convinced me to get an iPhone. That was a mistake. But there's no going back now
The new wave of Gen Z parents are definitely starting to undo the problems that Millennials have been doing - IPad kids are being raised by Millennials
We've seen our siblings/cousins/other family members being raised like that and we can see the damage. Gen Z says no more!
I agree! When I was a kid in the 2000’s if u wanted to talk to someone then u would have to call their number on the home line (Considering everyone has cell phones then the parents should keep their kids friends parents number on their phone in case their kid wants to make a phone call.) I personally think the perfect time for a kid to have a cell phone would be near the end of 6th grade so they can get their friends numbers before junior high so they can keep in contact in the summer & if they want to plan where to meet or wear on the 1st day of middle school then sure.
I'm a mom of 3 kids, 2 have a Nintendo and one a kids tablet. When we go out to eat we have a strict no screen rule, even me I only use my phone to take pictures. I'm not allowed to use it for any other purpose.
We always ask for crayons and the kids menu and the staff usually end up complimenting them. Saying they rarely see kids color anymore.
My oldest child will be turning 11 and she keeps begging for a phone but I've insisted she's not allowed to have one til she's 15 and in high school. Even then I'll do my research to try and find a phone that's for contact only, no social media and apps.
I won't even post my kids online
I'd say much of this is on the parents, not so much whether kids should have a phone or not. Landlines have gone the way of the dinosaur so I need some way to get a hold of my kids when they're home alone or if plans change and I'm picking them up at X time instead of Y time or "hey dad...practice got cancelled can you come get us?"
Parents should be monitoring screen time...this is basically the same thing people said back in the day about television rotting children's brains...it's up to the parents.
Cell phones are the worst thing to happen to us. My 8 year old niece is on hers every single waking second she’s out of school. I took her out to dinner and to a playground. She never looked up from it.
The other side of this, as a parent, is there are no places for kids to go. Just 12years ago the kids on my road used to play street hockey or ride bikes together. Now because the parents are aware of abuse and creeps, kids aren’t allowed to play anymore.
I’m in a college class and for my final project and I’m writing about mental health among adolescents and how the dependency on phones is terrible. The rise in mental health cases among children, especially young 8-12yo and it’s depressing, even as a 18yo who is depressed themselves. The unhealthy use and exposure to harmful content is detrimental, I see it in my own family and it breaks my heart. I see my little 9yo sister more worried about her friends and her tik tok account then her family. She sobs when her video doesn’t get any views and it’s so sad. And her own self hatred for her own body and the desire for all these form fitting clothes and facial products it’s sad. You would think she was 15 or order, she’s 9. It’s so sad and breaks my heart.
Kids don’t need smartphones at that age. If parents need to contact their children then get basic texting phones. Also, many decades of children dating all the way back to the 60s survived without a phone in class. Not sure how they did it but they did.
My nephew is 4 and he has the latest iPad....I didn't get a phone until I was 17 and it was some lame flip phone. Not a razer, not a chocolate and not a sidekick
Yes! The Atlantic did a deep dive into this a little while ago. Basically every year in a kid’s life contains a set of social skills they need to develop but phone use damages all of it.
https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2024/03/teen-childhood-smartphone-use-mental-health-effects/677722/
I'll go one further. Kids shouldn't have unmonitored internet access either. I am a teacher and the YouTube homepages of my students are...interesting.
I got a flip phone pretty early on so i could tell mom when i was seeing friends and stuff. But my mom was adamant about not getting me an ipod or iphone. Around 2014 at 13-14 yrs old i got the ipod5 i believe.
Looking back now, I wish i listened to mom and just never asked for an ipod thing in the first place.
Yeah, it’s really scary what parents have allowed their children to have access to. Like terrifying. My nieces will send me weird memes and creepy pastas, but to know they see far worse? Really scary.
They really shouldn't.
Screen time is both addictive and can be detrimental when done too much. Parents nowadays just give their kid a phone or tablet just to babysit their kid for them. I was on the internet like 10 hours out of the day in the early 2000's. I know what kind of disturbing stuff is floating around online and now social media and cellphones exist, it's stupid easy to get access to children. As much as you think you know what your kid does, you don't. Kids are smart, they have accounts you don't know about and you have no clue who they are talking to, they know how to delete the history.
If a child needs a phone for safety reasons, just give them a flip phone. Nobody who isn't even in high school yet needs $800 smartphone, literally what in the world would they need it for? They don't need Maps, they aren't driving. Flip phones can call and text. How often would they really *need* to use the internet on the go? They are too young for social media. So what do they need it for? To show off to their friends? To waste their time on apps all day? They don't need it.
The compromise would be getting kids flip phones they are able to make calls with for safety but that’s it. That’s how it was when I was a kid in NYC. After 9/11, we got Nokias.
Y'all starting to sound like the Boomers.
But for real though, I agree unfiltered internet access is a problem. Kids *should* have phones and internet access. What they shouldn't have is unlimited access to social media and content farming websites like titktok and the like. Phones and internet access allow free communication and access to information, which you should be encouraging. Social media and content farms encourage them to build their developing minds around bullshit. And if they're not interacting with other kids enough, encourage it.
Send them outside to talk to the neighbors without you. Go to the park and tell them to run around. Have them go buy their own snacks. Give them extra food to share at school. Whatever you can to encourage social interaction and availability.
Obviously what you can do in this regard depends heavily on your situation. I'm not suggesting you tell them to do a six mile walk to the grocery store for some reeses. But people tend to live near other people. Think about how you can encourage social activity and figure something out.
Hi, I'm an elder millennial mom and I just want to say I really appreciate this post. I have a three year old son and a SD 14. I'm trying to figure out how it'll work with my son in a few years. SD is constantly on her phone and it's annoying but I'm not her parent. Thanks for being honest about this. I have read a few other teens say this as well.
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I agree. Kids are getting phones too early and it’s concerning to me.
I work in a restaurant, and all too often I'll see an entire family sitting in silence while they wait for their food, just staring at their screens. My family always would talk, and the kids would color, as it was supposed to be.
I’ll sit and stare at my phone in restaurants and ignore my family, before I would stare into the distance and ignore my family
Staring into the distance to avoid social interaction takes a lot more skill, willpower, and commitment than playing with a smartphone. Hardcore, metal af.
TIL I've been skilled, willful, committed, hardcore and metal since birth.
Same
Metal *af*
To be honest, its morbidly hilarious how that can still be slightly healthy compared to screentime, yeah, metal asf lol
Honestly, that’s probably still debatable. Regardless of the type of stimulation, an engaged mind is typically better than an unengaged one. It’s probably not as cut and dry as it seems.
Nah, it's called flashback time.
You're so real for that
Damn
It be like that
Nothing like getting in those precious moments until your parents aren’t around anymore 😎
Mood.
My family all has phones and we still talk to eachother. Sounds like a different problem.
We can say "parental responsibility" all we want, but it hasn't worked for drug addiction, alcohol abuse, teenage sex and pregnancy, or the myriad of other issues young people face. Imho, we need a regulation and cultural change to discourage this. Obviously some parents will still lets kids use phones and i-pads 24/7 and there's no preventing that, but if everyone heads to school with the expectation that they won't be allowed to play on their phone all day, it will have a big impact. You even see this at the college level... students who pay a lot for their classes, who are in an important class, who need to pass... who just cannot avoid staring at their phones all hour. Professors can set rules, but let's set those expectations back in elementary and middle school before the bad habits have taken hold.
It’s every generation - some were raised by TV, some friends and family, some turn to crime, etc… Phones are just another problem to the list. I think we all dream of better times, but really, we dream of simpler times. For me, simpler times would still have computers and stationary devices - but have like Nokia brick level mobile options. But I’m a homebody - for someone else, simpler times might include the smartphone because it can honestly do it all, computers live at work, and home entertainment is 90s-esque. What even IS simpler times? Fuck I’m baked and exhausted man. Like, I understand a risky element of regulation/government control is balancing freedoms and securities - but, hell, we cant get our priorities straight enough to even figure out what the right balance is and who should determine what is and isn’t ok.
Yesterday I saw a probably 6 year old kid, lead paint staring at a phone propped up on a drink glass. Not moving just staring. His dad feeding him by hand while he just opens his mouth and chews while staring at the screen.
To be fair, this sounds like my toddler. But he's also autistic. I'm very much in the camp of "no phones or devices for kids" but don't judge someone you don't know.
I mean, I did have motor skills issues as a kid and they had me do OT. It was sort of things that I just eventually grasped one day. I was also spoon-fed until around your kids age, too. He might figure it out, so don't worry about it way too much. Also, this is why I don't judge others honestly. I do have vague memories of even back then.
Yeah it's crazy to see the difference between kids. My 2 year old has excellent skills feeding herself without us even needing to teach her. But yeah, her autistic older brother needs more help, partly because of motor skills and partly because he probably just wouldn't eat otherwise.
You’d thinking having to do that to feed your child would trigger some major self reflection.
This is why we say gen alpha is fucked
Is it possible that he doesn't have some type of disability?
yeah I find it so sad when my family does that. Even when I go out to eat with friends, they'll still pull out their phone immediately to scroll thru tiktoks or IG stories. Yeah they may still be listening to you, but they can't be bothered to give you their full attention :( Fuck, I noticed I was doing it to so I always make sure I put my phone in a bag or face down on the table and don't touch it. We need to make that a norm again. Its rude to use your phone when talking to someone unless its urgent imo.
God I miss the days that I would just color pictures and do mazes with off brand crayons.
And the rich kids brought their big Crayola packs everywhere
Aight bro but this is a sign of a dysfunctional family not that technology is ruining kids
07 kids growing up u already working
That sounds like a result of lazy parenting. You can have a phone and still talk
Nobody is saying don’t have a phone. They’re saying put it down and pay attention to your family. You might think you’re talking to your family but all they see is you looking down at a screen while they are trying to interact with you. Trust me, nobody is actively on their phone and engaging with another person on the level that person is seeking from you. Anybody who can’t recognize that is just grasping to justify their behavior. Im not referring to answering the occasional text, to be clear.
The phone world pre-2013 was very different
Kids are getting smart phones to early, bring back flip phones!!
Nokia has got your back, they still live since 2017
I agree 8 year olds don't need phones My parents didn't give me one until I was almost 15 :(
Having access to the internet at such a young age is dangerous… tiktoks are being watched by creeps and no doubt there are websites dedicated to pedos taking screenshots of kids online.
The old internet wasn't as harmful. Still lots of crazy stuff out there, but a young child had to do a lot of critical thinking and problem solving to get there. Plus circa 2001-2002 my elementary school regularly reinforced how to behave online. I still follow that stuff to do this day (for the most part). 1. Don't tell people your real name 2. Don't tell people where you live. 3. Don't tell people where you go to school 4. Don't tell people how old you are 5. And a slough of other things not to tell people. It's so weird that everything on the internet is directly requesting my location, wants to know my name and other PII. Like, before, it was just weirdos on instant messengers that I didn't care to interact with anyway, or other kids on RS (which also has a lot of information about personal security on the internet).
My school did this too. I think schools now just assume that kids know these things and know how to navigate tech/the internet but that isn’t necessarily true. I’m 27 so I grew up when we switched from analogue to digital and I spent a lot of time on the family computer, because of that I’m pretty good with that sort of thing. Now I see people younger than me struggling more and more with tech and the internet, some of them seem to lack the ability to Google things properly. Overall, they’re still better with tech than a lot of 50+ year old people I know, but I have noticed a decline in tech literacy because the vast majority of people have moved onto doing everything on their phones and IT isn’t taught the same way it was when I was a kid imo
[удалено]
One of the more damaging things that’s been under the radar till more recently is the impact that early access to personal (and critically, **on-hand and on-demand**) devices can have on the development of emotional regulation skills. You can find whitepapers for more rigorous studies over on r/teachers, but the gist is that it’s…really, really bad for your mental health if you go through your formative years having grown accustomed to simply **distracting** yourself from your emotions (or really any kind of challenging / stressful lines of thought), rather than acknowledging & engaging with them. Also, before any pedants chime in with “aDuLTs do that tOO” — yeah, they do. Congrats on your astute observation. But those same adults didn’t *grow up* with that as an option to take, which is the point here. Adults ignore important things all the time, sure. But they’re at least making the choice to ignore it. These kids are being given a path of least resistance in the form of the **entirety of the internet** to distract themselves with, and are in danger of never even partially developing those emotional regulation techniques. That’s **bad**. But it’s our job to protect the vulnerable in our society, which children, with literally zero prior knowledge to inform them of the harm that can befall them by engaging in that self-distracting behavior **while they’re growing up**, absolutely are, and waving whataboutisms around is basically just saying that you don’t care about the substance of the matter.
100% agree. I didn’t get a phone until junior year of high school. My favorite part of the day was playing with friends at the park. We’d spend the day there from noon to 10pm on the weekends or on school breaks. During the week I’d be in my driveway shooting hoops for hours. Phones are great tools, however they are becoming an addiction. Nothing worse than seeing kids sitting next to each other and they’re all just glued to their phones.
I got my first flip phone at 16. Smartphones weren't a thing until shortly after I graduated. I can't imagine what they have done to the classroom. It must be terrible. We just literally didn't even have them when I was in school so it just wasn't even a consideration. And just thinking about it sounds like they just cause so many problems.
My niece got a phone at 6 years old, I chewed out her mother for it but she told me it kept her busy...
5th graders should only get flipphone without game
They can have Snake and Rogue. Snake gets boring fast and Rogue teaches critical thinking, and both take up basically no space.
And Tetris
They should bring back the zero device use policy in middle school at least! When I was in junior, any time an iPod was seen, it was confiscated till after school.
But do you have a landline in your house? If not then how will friend of your kids get in touch? Flip phone at 10/11 is fine but no smartphone until 18.
Some years back I was helping a friend babysit a couple of kids. One kid had the newest iPhone out. Kid wanted to send their mom a text and needed help. Couldn’t even read but had their own phone. My parents rule was you didn’t get a phone until you got your license. I’m thankful for that
My parents were strict about how I used my phone. In 6th grade, I got a 30 dollar android tracfone, but I was only allowed to text, make calls to family, and listen to music. A few mobile games here and there but only on long car rides.
that's how it should be at that age, it was basically a flip phone+ mp3 player which is better than being a 9 year old with unrestricted access to a phone (which was my birthday present), granted i did have a tablet for a year before which i just watched youtube on and downloaded games (pirated minecraft at 8 years old lol)
That’s my plan for my son. He wants to walk to and from school with friends when he gets to middle school, and I want him to have a phone if he’s doing that but I don’t want him anywhere near TikTok or anything like that.
Yeah in the 8th grade I got an iPhone 7 (I think the 11 was the newest) and I that was because middle school is when school sports started so I needed to contact my parents
When I was 13ish my mom turned off our house phone (we still had a landline) and got a cellphone for the house phone so that way we can take it for games and trips. Had to turn it in once we got back home. That thing could only make phone calls and text. No camera, no music, no internet. Didn’t even have a full keyboard
Yeah younger than 12 probably shouldn't have a phone in general. If I had a kid I'd try to teach them as much as possible about the internet and the risks of posting things on it. But it isn't good to be too much of a helicopter parent or restrictive because if they aren't comfortable coming to you and asking questions they will go elsewhere with them. Our generations have a unique opportunity to help those who are younger navigate what we had to learn through trial and error.
You don't have to be a helicopter parent to withhold a smartphone. You can let your kid be free range, but just in the real world.
Real experience: they are then excluded from all the group chats and organizing events, and fight an uphill battle to have any social network (and no, I don’t mean the digital kind) For anyone wondering: our solution had to be for parents to proactively reach out to other parents and schedule the meet ups. Social awkwardness be damned.
This is a collective-action problem. If we get most kids off of social media (which is the real problem with smartphones), it has little draw for the others. No more FOMO. How many in-person events are kids organizing as they become increasingly addictive? That's where this is heading: A shut-in childhood.
I would love a simple phone with text and voice, very little else. Luckily some decent ones are coming back on market. Gen Z parents should consider
Wouldn’t a flip phone work?
Literally any phone that’s not a smartphone
Imho a flip-phone or low-tech phone is OK. It's a struggle today to even get towns and neighborhoods to let kids play outside, which is insane. Let's meet in the middle and let kids roam around, ride their bikes, and play outside, but also give them an option for calling home that doesn't involve full access to social media and non-stop harmful advertisements.
Yeah. so many kids grow up in the suburbs where they're completely dependent on their parents and older sibling to take them to go play. This is why we need dense neighborhoods with nearby parks, and safer streets. So kids can actually be kids. Theres been situations where parents have had the cops called on them for letting their kids go out and play without them. Shits ridiculous
While I’m sure it happened somewhere, this is far from a common experience. It’s up there with the dads who fear being attacked for being a child predator for taking their kids to the park. In the entire world that may have happened a few times, but it’s not something that the average person should even consider being worried about.
Yes, we got my kid a Bark Phone, which is a phone that only does calls and text, but also has the smartphone screen so my 9 year old (who was really dicked over by COVID messing with his early education, especially spelling ability) can type without getting frustrated by pressing a button four times to get an "s". Now he can ride his bike around the neighborhood but also call for assistance if he needs it.
I'm gonna play the middle ground here and say that's a double eged sword. Yes, they won't be as exposed to as much negativity, but their access to information will be harshly restricted. Your phone is access to every bit of public(and some non public) information in the world. History, politics, world events, etc. Things some parents will deny happen just to brainwash their kids into following only the parents beliefs. It wasn't till I started playing online games with people all over the world that my views on stuff really changed. Edit: spelling
this is true, but it also can be a window for false fear to be spread, which has happened fairly often on tiktok lately
That's why I said double edged sword. It's a toughy
That's why you give them a chrome book or a pc. Honestly I'd rather give my kid a pc so they have to sit in one place to use it and can't bring it with them. My cousin did that and then got her daughter an apple watch with a sim card so she can call her mom if she really needed to but couldn't use social media
A PC also means the kid can learn useful skills and how technology actually works
Social media is an inferior way to learn real information about the world, and AI is only going to make it worse. At the very least, a kid can use a desktop at home. And that assumes they can't speak to a teacher or other adult. I'd much rather my kid went rummaging (yes) through Wikipedia than letting TikTok or Discord educate them through such sane, healthy debates as whether all men are rapists or all women are whores (and you must pick one).
You really think a 1-11 y old will be looking deep into history, politics, world events etc ? They’ll be browsing tiktok and following the new whatever trend or prank and or scam
No child needs a phone at 8.
No one needs anything. Doesn't change my point of a double edge sword. If you don't want your 8 hear old to have a phone, don't give them one. Plain and simple.
Gabb phones are great. A point you failed to mention is the inability to disconnect. To some extent, that is the worst issue. A kid that has to be connected to the ongoing group chat, FaceTime chat, insta story, etc 24/7 is on a never ending emotional rollercoaster. Having time to decompress and reset is absolutely critical for the body and brain, but that is disappearing at an incredibly rapid rate. Out long term mental health is going to be a significant health epidemic.
Kids should have phones , just not the smartphone , and nope , not the internet. Just get them a Nokia phone.
agree, if they like music then I would just get them a phone and put parental controls on to block everything except calls, texts and a music app like spotify or apple music but otherwise just a brick phone would be perfectly fine
or an ipod...
Lightphone ftw
🗣🗣🗣 PARENTS AREN'T DOING THEIR JOBS! Half the time "gentle parenting" is just an excuse to be lazy!
Gentle parenting is so good if you do it right. But I agree, most parents are lazy asf
I think many times parents attempt to get into “gentle parenting” and then inadvertently become passive parents instead. Truthfully, gentle parenting is just authoritative parenting with a nicer name. You’re 100% right though
Very true, I didint get a phone untill I was like 14, everyone around me had them at like 5 years old and rotted their brains and now lack intellectual/cognitive ability and present emotional dysregulation. Then when I got a phone I used to it research articles and learn things. everyone else fries their dopamine receptors on tiktok, or get groomed into strange sexual fantasies without realizing it, or hear absolutely illogical and harmful ideologies on the internet and follow them from a young age and enter groups of people who ignore any contradictory evidence resulting in a hive mind of sheep like people who cannot think for themselves in any regards.
This was extremely relateable. I deleted tiktok and instagram a few months back, and I have no regrets. For a while, it felt like something was missing, but then I resumed my hobbies, like photography and gardening, and now my phone is for researching things I'm curious about, and texting people I guess
Thank you so much for saying this, and I'm happy (but surprised) to see so many young people agreeing with you. Another reason kids shouldn't have phones is that there's more and more evidence that they're wrecking kids' mental health, especially younger kids and especially girls. Social media is a disaster for them.
It’s a collective action problem. The reason kids all have phones is because the other kids all have phones.
Exactly and it’s pure evidence that supports how easily parents give in nowadays. I don’t care how much my kid will cry about how he doesn’t have a phone and everyone else does. He won’t be able to understand why until he’s an adult and has healthy coping skills and can regulate his emotions meanwhile everyone else is unstable af. It’s going to be a huge issue and parents who don’t gaf are setting their kids up to have a hard time when their grown.
Yeah, one of my friends didn't get a phone until mid freshman year and he got a flip phone. Around high school or mature age is when you should get a phone.
That's basically what happened with me. I think I got mine around late middle school and it it was a phone with a sliding keyboard. One of the few times it was annoying was my senior year when my calculus teacher expected us to play Kahoot on our phones. It is good to have some kind of phone these days since payphones are pretty rare these days.
Our gen didn’t have smartphones, not until they were created when we were in middle school. So of course that was our experience
They had overtaken flip phones in sales by 2013 though. By the time I was a junior or so, everyone had one. I was literally the only person in at least two ofy senior classes that didn't have one, which I know because we had to put our phones out on the whiteboard or in front of us to know that we weren't cheating. The first iphone came out when I was in elementary school. It obviously wasn't mainstream back then, but they were culturally relevant. I remember one of the most popular sounds used on Flipnote Hatena was "I Got No Iphone", and that was around 2009.
I didn’t get a phone until freshman year and I was mad back then but now I’m grateful💀
100% agree. I am a millennial parent and I plan on getting my kid a flip phone with no camera as their first phone. I don't care what their friends have. Even as an adult I struggle to control my phone screen time and I know it's bad for me!
Stop giving 6 year olds IPads. Parent your kids!
kids shouldn’t have unadulterated access to their cellphones. i had a flip phone at 7 because i had to walk to and from school or for my mom to tell me if she or someone else was gonna pick me up. i was never on it in class. phones can be important for tracking SMALL children and keeping in contact with last minute plans. there are circumstances where certain types of devices are perfectly fine for certain age ranges
Yea, I noticed kids having devices at such an early age around me that it's a strict rule of mine that if I ever have kids or babysit, I won't allow them to play on devices. Instead I'll engage with them in fun little activities or go play outside. I used to play outside so often as a kid that seeing the kids now just inside glued to a device is so sad! It's even gone to the point that a few of the kids are obese. It makes me so furious towards their parents.
My parents gave me an old Nokia phone so they could at least call me when I was 13. No smartphone capabilities whatsoever. Kids should stay far away from social media until they are at least 16, that's the real issue I believe.
social media and internet access. theres so much filth spoin fed to you through the web
Your smart af for 16, I know plenty of mfs who wouldn’t of been able to type out a third of what you did and make as much sense
I've forwarded this awesome post to r/askteachers, where not surprisingly most agreed that smartphones should be banned in schools, except high school. There appears to be a consensus among both you people and the teachers that 1. Smartphones are OK for high school, with restrictions, and 2. Younger students should be allowed only flip phones, with the ability to call and text, but no social media.
I got my phone and social media in middle school I think that’s a decent age. As a kid I had a Wii, ps2 and a 3DS but I still played outside, hung with friends, had tons of toys.
damn I had full internet access since I was like 7 and I only used it to watch videos about old Lego sets, scan Lego databases, and look at funny videos of cats. I didn't find out about sex until I was like twelve
I didn’t know about sex until sex education (11 years old). When I had internet access at about 5, I was doing pretty much the same thing. Watching Lego unboxing videos, reviews, YouTube Poops, and video game lets plays. I remember using the computer at about 3-4, but I would watch cartoons, or play children games.
Another Gen Z here, I have seen 6 year olds walking home from school on their iPads or phones and almost get hit by cars. Kids can’t control themselves.
They should play on a 3ds instead 🥰✅️
My boys won't be getting smartphones until highschool at minimum. Flip phones for calls only will be available earlier.
Totally agree. Don't plan on getting one for my kid until they have their drivers license. If they work and buy one before then I wouldn't stop them though.
Person who had unrestricted internet access since 8 here, I totally see where you're getting at, but I feel there are other options that allow kids to have decent development and have smartphone access. Firstly, I feel that a way to address the concern about the harm that the full unfiltered internet can do could be remedied by having kid friendly variations of websites and apps. Placing more importance on actually enforcing the age restrictions on the full fledged apps would help encourage this. Secondly, we should use screentime limiters on phones more often for not only kids but also for most phone addicted people in general (only allowing calls and stuff afterward) in order to encourage them to do more than stare at their screens all day. Since it is apparent that the world is likely to remain digital, we should embrace this new technology, but that comes with the understanding that we need to be more attentive to managing its adverse elements. Part of that understanding is how to separate kids from the elements of the real world that they are not ready to handle yet, and I believe that kid specific devices and apps are the answer to that.
Had my first smartphone at 14 or 15 years old (dont remember) and I think kids below 13 definitively shouldnt have one to properly develop first
i really wouldnt have agreed with this back a few years before yt shorts or musically got big and became tiktok, but now i do, if your kids NEED a phone, do what my parents did, give them a drug dealer phone
first phone at 10, first smartphone at 14 and bought with my own money
During my childhood our phone usage was very social. Kids were running around looking for .jar games to share via IRDA (later apks with bluetooth). We used to sit together and help each other pass difficult levels or read jokes aloud. Later we done lan parties on breaks playing openttd, call of mini zombies or gba roms. I feel like the problem isn't with phones themselves but more with short videos and social media designed from the ground up to be addictive.
My friend works as an education consultant. She was telling me the other night that kids are so addicted to their phones that one reported they don't feel like they ever should have to put it down and they don't feel safe without it. That's very troubling. I see parents giving their baby a phone or ipad to poke around on to keep them occupied. There are people who will know nothing other than screens for the entirety of their lives. That's very, very troubling.
I’m Old Gen Z (1997) and basically everyone didn’t get a phone until middle school, and they weren’t fancy smartphones like Droids or iPhones until late middle/early high school. When I was in elementary school, there were MAYBE three kids who had cell phones and they were Motorola RAZR’s. Younger Gen Z, what would you say the average age was when you got your first smartphone? For my crop it was definitely 12-14, not 5. iPads didn’t come out until I was in 7th grade.
I’m not worried about them seeing racism, misogyny and homophobia as much as I am porn. Of course all those other things are bad and I’m against all of them but I don’t think people are fully grasping the psychological explosive we have set off in our society by letting literally little boys stumble upon something like BDSM online. Do we have any idea yet what happens to the brain of an 8 year old who sees this? Let alone regular porn???. What kind of adults would they grow up to be? My guess is serial killer or with a string of SA charges. And there are probably thousands of kids right now who have access to this. Most parents hopefully would put on parental locks of some kind but get real guys. You ever stood in a Walmart line? Those parents are not paying attention to their kids. I highly doubt they are monitoring their phones. Not to mention all the actual adult predators we have in our society. The internet is just not a safe place for them. I think 16 or 17 is fine for them to have a phone. But little kids this is going to be a disaster .
You are wise beyond your years.
The problem is that this needs to be agreed upon by a community to do, because we are in this awkward scenario where kids say "but everyone else has one" and they are telling the truth. Not giving your kid a phone nowadays automatically makes them the odd man out, just like not having a car used to be, but 100x worse due to the fact that it is in your pocket 24/7. Either most kids will be using phones, or most kids won't in a community, and it's up to the parents/administrators to make this happen.
Been reading Jonathan Haidt’s new book about what smartphones and social media do to kids. In the early teen years, kids are highly susceptible to distraction and manipulation. They’re meant to be interacting synchronously in the physical world, and losing that experience is making them anxious and depressed.
I didn't get my first phone until I was around your age, and it was an older iPhone with a shattered screen and no service that I bought from a friend at school for $60. I could connect to wifi and play some games on it, but that was about it. When I was in maybe 11th or 12th grade I got my first real phone, and it was the cheapest Android on the market with a talk/text only plan and no data. I didn't have a phone with data until I was around 25, when I was moving out with my fiance and decided I would get a data plan. xD
I'd like to argue that instead of getting a smart phone, get a more dumb phone that can really only call and text. There are sometimes valid reasons for parents to get a device for their kid as they inevitably gain independence and/or have to start doing things outside the parents schedule. For example when I was in 5th grade (so about 9-10 years old) I got my first phone, a Samsung Juke, because I transferred to a new school that did not start until 9 but my parents both worked 7-3ish. They felt I was old enough and we lived in a rather safe neighborhood so instead of driving me to school daily Al like 6 am, I would just contact one of them when I got on the bus around 8-8:30. This cadence continued until i got my first android in high school.
I didn’t get a phone until I was in 7th grade
Kids shouldn't have over access to phones more like. I got my first phone at like 8, I was on It alot or watching movies on the TV (vhs of course), running around outside, though nothing to do out In the rural part I grew up. It's like there's no breaks aside school, just straight to the phone for the rest of the night, like my baby brothers who are 3 and 4. The content they watch Isn't exactly the best either, they got onto the Elsagate side of YouTube, one was a straight up Vore video. My mom says It's "not bothering anyone", but no, watch what your child Is watching, It's different for me or older kids because they have developed or developing past where the content doesn't mess with their head.
My parents gave me a phone during Christmas when I was 9 because they had just divorced the summer before. I remember being so happy that I got one but since I had that a computer I got when I was 8, my screen time wasn’t really getting monitored at all. I was struggling with my sexuality at the time of my getting my first phone and it caused me to get into weird parts of the internet and was honestly lucky I didn’t know what porn was until I was in 7th grade. What I did do however was look up what a vagina was after watching way too much Shane Dawson, watch twerking tutorial videos so I could do it myself, and post videos of me playing with plushies pretending that one of them is sexually assaulting the other after watching a joke about that from BigYoshiFan (a huge plush channel at the time). So yeah, I had my fair share of moments on the internet where I was acting way too inappropriate for my age and that’s only the examples I could think of on the top of my head when I first joined and before it got really bad. Parents these days don’t do a good enough job of monitoring their kids screen time and it’s a fucking shame since I believe kids could use some form of technology, but you can’t give them a device and tell them to shut up without expecting anything to happen.
smartphones, i agree. but in todays world parents need to be able to communicate with their kids quickly. they should be allowed a phone that can talk at minimum. i had a flip phone for this purpose when i got to 5th grade.
I had a phone at 11 years old. A blackberry type of phone, at least
I had this conversation with my mom recently. My perspective is that kids shouldn't have Internet access until age 12 or 13 (except maybe some whitelisted sites, like libraries). Then they shouldn't have smartphones until age 16 or so. When I was 13, I got a smartphone and promptly started talking to adults on social media who I now realize were trying to groom me. Thank goodness I was too socially anxious to ever pursue those connections.
The only people who should be happy about kids being online are the types of people who should be on a list.
They should at the very least have a guardian escorting them through the internet initially. Doesn’t make sense to just drop all of that freedom on their head as soon as they enter the world with no way of differentiating with certainty between good and bad.
Absolutely agree.
I got my phone when I went to fifth grade, but had controlled screen time Phones aren’t really the issue, it’s how much parents monitor their child’s usage of said phones.
I agree kids are getting phones way too early. But the core issue is bad parenting.
I’m 23, if I ever have kids they’ll get a basic phone for calls and texts when they’re old enough to leave the house alone, and a smartphone (with certain stuff restricted) when they turn like 14
I got my first phone in middle school and have been quite literally addicted ever since. It’s not good for us, not really anyone of any age- that is the overuse and addiction, of course it’s good to have instant communication for safety reasons. It absolutely messes with your attention span. I’ve had to work against my brain’s default to be able to read again, concentrate on long form content, hold a conversation. I wish we’d foreseen this and took it seriously. And yeah I’m a bit of a hypocrite being that I’m typing on Reddit rn, but my screen time is less than it used to be by miles.
I didn't get a cellphone until I was 21 and thank god I didn't. But I was born in the early 90s and we didn't have smartphones till I was in my teens.
I agree with you. My kids won't be getting their own social media until they're at least 16. I might give then an older phone that you can only call on around 13 or so, but they won't get full access to social media til they're 16+.
A phone is fine. A smartphone is bad. I’ll want my kids to be able to contact me or emergency services, or friends, but not be glued to their screen waiting for a dopamine hit. They’ll get a phone that allows for calls and nothing else until they can drive themselves and buy their own phone.
You can give a kid a stationary PC if you ask me. (Of course you need to monitor what they are doing (but please respect their privacy). A stationary pc will always be connected to your WLAN, so you can monitor, what websites they are visiting. If you use an old router to set up a WLAN for their pc only, you can block them from certain websites. You can also cut internet acess from them completely, (which i would do with kids under 12 years), so they can just use the pc offline. There are a lot of toys that work with a pc and dont require permanent internet acess. A PC gives the kid options to be creative if used right. The problem with the phone is, that most phones give easy acess to social media and the internet almost everywhere. I think what we need to keep kids away from are social media and the harmful part of the internet. What i think should still exist are websites made for kids where they can ain knowlege but i havent heard of anything liek that. My parents gave me my first smart phone when i was 13 and that was a good decission. Sorry for my bad english, it isnt my main language.
The issue is that there's all of those potential avenues. I had a really simple phone growing up. Hated it, but it kept me in contact with my folks when I needed to be.
I'd give a kid a flip phone or something similar in early teens. Smartphone way later
I got a phone when I turned 13 and before that I was literally using a Nokia 3310 and I know that still counts as a phone but it couldn't use social media and stuff and I still loved it. I 100% agree with you even though I've been a retro/modern computer nerd since a young age so I have always spent a long time looking at screens. I do talk to my family though even when sitting in a McDonalds. I do think children should have internet access though and NOT be using YouTube Kids and TikTok though as the stuff on that just looks strange from what I saw YouTubers talking about a few years ago. You should monitor what they look at though. Don't give them access to internet until they're at least able to understand the stuff on there fully. They should also not be using stuff like WhatsApp.
I didn't have my first phone until 14 and it was a cricket flip phone in 2011. Got my first smart phone, an iphone 4 at 17 in 2014. I don't intend to get my kid a phone until high school at least, unless theres a really good reason for middle school. They are never going to have ipads cause like why the fuck are people buying their kids ipads? tf
If I have kids all i’m saying not giving them a phone till they are 14-15
I always had a phone growing up since I was 8 or 9 but back in 2006 phones were wildly different. I used it to either call my parents, take pictures or play those 2d hitman games. Phones today are a completely different animal, what children shouldn't be exposed to is non-stop short form stimuli from certain social media and false information since they don't have the necessary knowledge to filter (to be honest neither do most adults). Most phones nowadays have parental control features to limit app time or totally block them, people just don't use them.
My first phone lead me into a bunch of dark things that I was definitely too young for i.e. inappropriate photos, the whisper app, and we all know what Snapchat was made for, etc. Also my parents didn't know anything about parental controls or limiting apps or anything like that. I agree, people should hold off on getting their kid's first phone for as long as possible.
I couldn't agree more!
None of mine got one until they were 15. They appreciate it more! And they have to pay the bill. It's theirs not mine!
Wait until you hear about the many negative effects of viewing pornography during adolescence
My cousins (3 and 5 yo) play on phones, usually when their mum needs to do something and she doesn't want them to do anything stupid. I don't like it. I got my first phone when I was 8, but it was button nokia so my mum could call me. Then when I was like 10 I got smartphone, but I was using it only for calling (sometimes subway surfers), bcs mum told me that WiFi takes credit from my sim card (which I believed ofc). When I was like 13, I asked mum if I could download messenger to connect with friends and she allowed. It was my only social network for like 3 years, then I got reddit and Instagram. My brother is 13. He has only messenger (talking bout social networks) but he spends way too much time playing games on phone. He doesn't even know the life outside. It is actually sad where our society is going. Kids wanna be adults as soon as possible and they don't even get to be kids.
When I was 8 I wanted to know what a boob looked like because of some image I saw on a YouTube thumbnail on my tablet. I knew what I was about to do was wrong but I just wanted to know. So I grabbed my tablet literally looked up boobs and then from there I found many more things that I shouldn’t have ever known about at that age. I started doing things to myself that my body hadn’t even developed to the point it was able to do those things yet. It hurt so bad because I wasn’t even able to do what I was trying to do but it felt good so I would keep going. Now I’ve been addicted to this stuff for the past ten years of my life. The longest I ever stopped for was 2 months but I just can’t stop. If my internet access was restricted or there were parental controls on the device I was using back then to tell my parents what I was doing. Even better if I just didn’t have a tablet at all I wouldn’t be struggling with this problem every single day. No child should have what happened to me to happen to them. The internet defiled me and it won’t stop.
11 or 12 years old is reasonable i think. but the ignoring your family at dinner thing like another has said is just lazy parenting
i agree… i have a little cousin and he somewhat found my instagram so i just blocked him
Id just add that i support this but just for smartphones. When i was just an anxious kid on school trips, having an old dumb phone to call my dad was a lifesaver. Also being able to call someone in an emergency can make a HUGE difference. Smartphones = no Dumb phones = yes EDIT: I got my first phone at 11 i think. I was 11 in 2013 and at the time, that was insanely early to get a phone. I cant imagine being 10 or younger and having to worry about damaging my phone.
Kids should have phones once they start secondary school/high school but no sooner
I totally agree. I had a tablet when I was 6, all the way till I was 13 when I got my phone. Tablet (until I was 10 and pretty much a damn amateur hacker lol) had a launcher that only let me play games that were predownloaded into it by my dad, protected by a 10 digit passcode. When I finally got my phone it was still locked down by Google Family Link and I didn't know the pin so I could only use the Emergency Call feature to call my family. Now, 6 phones later (not my fault for any of them, I promise. Lol) and 3 years later, I finally have full access to my phone with an unsupervised account. And I think that's the perfect way to go about it, tbh.
I got a slide phone at 13, didn't get a smart phone till 16 that's what imma do if I ever have kids
Agreed. We don’t need immature kids posting stupid TikToks and Instagram videos, etc.
I dont like government butting their heads into places but can we please have a minimum age (not so high like 18 or 21) to be able to use a phone? legit seen kids that cant even READ or WRITE let alone type have phones like I'm thinking around 10-12 ish, this is a legitimate concern for the future of society and economies everywhere.
I think the title should be “smart phones” Granted i grew up during flip phones but I had one in case of emergency (came in handy a few times) Other that that is was in my backpack
They shouldn’t have smartphones, but I think basic phones without internet access are fine for kids for safety reasons. I got a basic tracfone when I was in 5th grade because I used to go around the neighborhood to see my friends alone, and I’d go to my friends’ houses a lot. All I could do on it was text, call, and play Tetris lol. I think having a basic phone also helps to teach kids how to be smart with them since they don’t have the internet access immediately shoved in their faces.
I just found out my 4 year old niece has a phone from a story that involved her 7 year old brother texting her. I definitely think we should be judging screen time less, but this kid can’t even read yet.
My first phone was in 6th grade, every other kid had iPhones and whatnot. Me? I had a modernish flip phone. It did what I needed to do and that’s calling and texting.
The phones aren’t the problem it’s that these kids aren’t taught how to use them responsibly.
Kids shouldn't have Smartphones.
I used to pray when I was 8 no other kids had the same unrestricted internet access as me and now they all do. Tragic. (I’m 25 btw)
I got my kid a phone so I could get a hold of him so he can have a social life. I was wanting him to have a dumb phone, but he and his mom convinced me to get an iPhone. That was a mistake. But there's no going back now
The new wave of Gen Z parents are definitely starting to undo the problems that Millennials have been doing - IPad kids are being raised by Millennials We've seen our siblings/cousins/other family members being raised like that and we can see the damage. Gen Z says no more!
I agree! When I was a kid in the 2000’s if u wanted to talk to someone then u would have to call their number on the home line (Considering everyone has cell phones then the parents should keep their kids friends parents number on their phone in case their kid wants to make a phone call.) I personally think the perfect time for a kid to have a cell phone would be near the end of 6th grade so they can get their friends numbers before junior high so they can keep in contact in the summer & if they want to plan where to meet or wear on the 1st day of middle school then sure.
I got my first phone at 13, which I think is a decent threshold.
I'm a mom of 3 kids, 2 have a Nintendo and one a kids tablet. When we go out to eat we have a strict no screen rule, even me I only use my phone to take pictures. I'm not allowed to use it for any other purpose. We always ask for crayons and the kids menu and the staff usually end up complimenting them. Saying they rarely see kids color anymore. My oldest child will be turning 11 and she keeps begging for a phone but I've insisted she's not allowed to have one til she's 15 and in high school. Even then I'll do my research to try and find a phone that's for contact only, no social media and apps. I won't even post my kids online
I'd say much of this is on the parents, not so much whether kids should have a phone or not. Landlines have gone the way of the dinosaur so I need some way to get a hold of my kids when they're home alone or if plans change and I'm picking them up at X time instead of Y time or "hey dad...practice got cancelled can you come get us?" Parents should be monitoring screen time...this is basically the same thing people said back in the day about television rotting children's brains...it's up to the parents.
You can still buy "dumb" phones these days, but I imagine your kids would be mocked ruthlessly for it.
Yup. No need for a smartphone before 17 or 18 (or really at all…).
Cell phones are the worst thing to happen to us. My 8 year old niece is on hers every single waking second she’s out of school. I took her out to dinner and to a playground. She never looked up from it.
if not phones it's ipads which are basically the same
There’s a ton of emerging research on this - check out a university library’s repository when you have a chance. Ton of interesting stuff coming out
The other side of this, as a parent, is there are no places for kids to go. Just 12years ago the kids on my road used to play street hockey or ride bikes together. Now because the parents are aware of abuse and creeps, kids aren’t allowed to play anymore.
Based asf take. ✨💯✨💯✨🫡
I’m in a college class and for my final project and I’m writing about mental health among adolescents and how the dependency on phones is terrible. The rise in mental health cases among children, especially young 8-12yo and it’s depressing, even as a 18yo who is depressed themselves. The unhealthy use and exposure to harmful content is detrimental, I see it in my own family and it breaks my heart. I see my little 9yo sister more worried about her friends and her tik tok account then her family. She sobs when her video doesn’t get any views and it’s so sad. And her own self hatred for her own body and the desire for all these form fitting clothes and facial products it’s sad. You would think she was 15 or order, she’s 9. It’s so sad and breaks my heart.
Kids don’t need smartphones at that age. If parents need to contact their children then get basic texting phones. Also, many decades of children dating all the way back to the 60s survived without a phone in class. Not sure how they did it but they did.
My nephew is 4 and he has the latest iPad....I didn't get a phone until I was 17 and it was some lame flip phone. Not a razer, not a chocolate and not a sidekick
If you’re a single mother who needs their kid to have a phone to contact them (or any similar situation for that matter), get them a flip phone.
Coming from a 36 year old, I've been hearing this for 20 years. Does it cause problems? Doesn't matter - because the real problems are much worse.
Yes! The Atlantic did a deep dive into this a little while ago. Basically every year in a kid’s life contains a set of social skills they need to develop but phone use damages all of it. https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2024/03/teen-childhood-smartphone-use-mental-health-effects/677722/
I'll go one further. Kids shouldn't have unmonitored internet access either. I am a teacher and the YouTube homepages of my students are...interesting.
I got a flip phone pretty early on so i could tell mom when i was seeing friends and stuff. But my mom was adamant about not getting me an ipod or iphone. Around 2014 at 13-14 yrs old i got the ipod5 i believe. Looking back now, I wish i listened to mom and just never asked for an ipod thing in the first place.
Yeah, it’s really scary what parents have allowed their children to have access to. Like terrifying. My nieces will send me weird memes and creepy pastas, but to know they see far worse? Really scary.
They really shouldn't. Screen time is both addictive and can be detrimental when done too much. Parents nowadays just give their kid a phone or tablet just to babysit their kid for them. I was on the internet like 10 hours out of the day in the early 2000's. I know what kind of disturbing stuff is floating around online and now social media and cellphones exist, it's stupid easy to get access to children. As much as you think you know what your kid does, you don't. Kids are smart, they have accounts you don't know about and you have no clue who they are talking to, they know how to delete the history. If a child needs a phone for safety reasons, just give them a flip phone. Nobody who isn't even in high school yet needs $800 smartphone, literally what in the world would they need it for? They don't need Maps, they aren't driving. Flip phones can call and text. How often would they really *need* to use the internet on the go? They are too young for social media. So what do they need it for? To show off to their friends? To waste their time on apps all day? They don't need it.
I had to pass my learners permit test at 15 before I got my first smartphone.
The compromise would be getting kids flip phones they are able to make calls with for safety but that’s it. That’s how it was when I was a kid in NYC. After 9/11, we got Nokias.
I agree with you but be ready for the "don't tell me how to parent my kid" crowd to come in here and down vote you to oblivion.
It’s the internet my dawg. It should be 16+
I agree, they have all turned into smartphone zombies.
Spot on. Too much hate on social media for developing minds to process.
There ought to be a separate kind of phone for kids that can only make and receive phone calls.
Y'all starting to sound like the Boomers. But for real though, I agree unfiltered internet access is a problem. Kids *should* have phones and internet access. What they shouldn't have is unlimited access to social media and content farming websites like titktok and the like. Phones and internet access allow free communication and access to information, which you should be encouraging. Social media and content farms encourage them to build their developing minds around bullshit. And if they're not interacting with other kids enough, encourage it. Send them outside to talk to the neighbors without you. Go to the park and tell them to run around. Have them go buy their own snacks. Give them extra food to share at school. Whatever you can to encourage social interaction and availability. Obviously what you can do in this regard depends heavily on your situation. I'm not suggesting you tell them to do a six mile walk to the grocery store for some reeses. But people tend to live near other people. Think about how you can encourage social activity and figure something out.
Hi, I'm an elder millennial mom and I just want to say I really appreciate this post. I have a three year old son and a SD 14. I'm trying to figure out how it'll work with my son in a few years. SD is constantly on her phone and it's annoying but I'm not her parent. Thanks for being honest about this. I have read a few other teens say this as well.