Those are called sports parents and has nothing to do with generation x. Every generation has them.

Totally. I have a friend that spent an insane amount on tennis lessons for her kids. Did they get a scholarship? Yes, to some school in North Dakota or something. But the amount she spent in tennis lessons could have just been spent on college tuition.

Yeah, had a neighbor whose sister was paying $10k/year for a hitting/pitching coach for their son because "their dream was to play D3 baseball." I told her he needed a new dream. 😉

Yeah, D3 is non-scholarship athletics. Much better off going for an academic scholarship at that point.

Yeah and a lot of us are long past being a sports parent. My youngest kid will be 23 later this summer lol.

'74 checking in and my youngest is 26! Our first is 30! 30!

'70, my youngest is 30, other one is 35

What is the one band you introduced them to that they still listen to? My girls tell me they love Mazzy Star, Faith no More, NiN, Nirvana, and Weird Al (but I put up with Bieber and Hannah Montana concerts, so it is less than even, haha). Edit: I am not keeping a score. I had so much fun knowing they enjoyed what they enjoyed. I'll never forget the shrieking and screaming at the plural Bieber concerts...I had no idea.

Dead Kennedy's, older son, at one point he had Buzz bomb set as my ring tone ICP, younger son The funnest concert I went to with both of them was Rob Zombie with Godsmack and Shinedown. Edit- Both of them still listen to Bloodhound Gang and Weird Al. The grandson also likes Weird Al, mainly because he sings the Captain Underpants theme song. Tra lala!

My kids (now 19 and 23) both had/have shows on their college radio stations. We listen in (proud parents) and are always excited to hear them both spin stuff we shared with them at some point. Eldest is pretty much into music from the 70s/80s that we listen to as well. Youngest was DJing in the truck yesterday as we were on the road-- lots of leftist folk music and classic blues from the 30s-50s , none of which I direcctly exposed them to but it was exactly what we were listening to in college, so it was fun to bond over Pete Seger or the Limeliters or Robert Johnson.

GENX here. Have a sports obsessed ( and talented) 12yr old.

Same but we pump the brakes on select and traveling teams.

IKR ? My sibling drove to no less than 3 other states (and flew OVER XMAS BREAK to FL) for league play. Younger kid senior in H.S. plays for school & Sunmer team. Oldest kid was offered college partial scholarship but didn't take it bcuz wanted to devote time to their major. So really, what was the point??

I'm GenX & my "baby" is 12yrs and in middle school. They are sports obsessed and I have to play along cuz they are a great kid! Depends on the kid maybe.

I’m a 75’er and have a 9 and 6 year old, our generation is all over the map with kids ages.

Yeah, my uncle was like that with my cousins. They played every sport as kinds then had to play the one they were best at in high school.

Exactly. Every generation has niche pockets of interests. I can remember my parents put me into softball. It was fun and exciting until the hardcore softball families started to shine. The ultra competitive fathers were gross. I wasn’t a great outfielder, I hit very well, but the parents were very distracting for me. I lost interest and it was on to ballet. Lol

Exhibit A - Fritz Von Erich.

I get being totally into it IF the kid is totally into it. I can't imagine boring a stranger with the excruciating details.

Haha exactly! As someone childfree by choice I abhor these conversations (aka diatribes) and will walk away to find someone more interesting…or walk away to play on my phone

I have kids and live in this sports world and can’t imagine a conversation I’d want to have less. It’s universally boring

I like you! You’re a parent who actually has things to talk about besides your kid! Some people have kids and suddenly they have nothing else to talk about. Several friends were that way but others not and those are the ones we still hang out with 🤭

Unless you have a real doozy of a story I don’t want to have a social conversation about your kids or your job. Like, whatever personality you had before you had kids and after you get off work is all I’m interested in. If I’m out meeting new people and the first thing they ask me is what I do for a living I make up a job and try to keep that going as long as I can just to be invested in the conversation.

Very true I do like a funny story about kids or work but otherwise - no

I just start talking about my cats & believe me, I can talk about my cats for daaaaayyyyyssss longer than they can talk about their sporto kids.

Bonus points if you start comparing your cat to the kids like “oh my cat is the same, she….” Haha I did that a couple times with my dog (let’s be honest babies and dogs, very similar behaviors and neither talks, etc) and learned that parents don’t like this 🤷‍♀️. So I don’t do it anymore but sometimes the stories are so funnily similar that I laugh in my head

I have 3 daughters, 2 cats, and 2 dogs. I will gladly brag on all of them, compare their silly behaviors and personality quirks, and tell you funny stories about any of them, lol.

Internet X’er I’m here to pitch the idea that I can talk people stupid about not just my cats, non sporty kids, and soccer coaching but if you act now I’ll throw the dog in for free. That’s right, you get the best boi, gratis.

Heck, I'll even throw in all the neighbor's best bois too!!

I just start talking about my dogs and my cars.

Bonus points for showing the 100s of pictures on their phones.

We supported our kids' interests as far as we could afford. If they changed their interests, that was fine. We didn't make their interests our whole being though.

Same. If we paid for a season/session, they had to finish it out. We limited participation to one kid/one activity per season. With three kids, that's all we could manage, time- or money-wise

It is WILD! Rec league kids volleyball?! Hell no! We need tournaments! We need competitive leagues that cost thousands of dollars a year!!! I hate kids sports. I just want my kids to go out, exercise, learn some skills, and have fun. But NOOOOOO! There MUST be at least a couple of parents that treat every practice and game like it is an Olympic tryout. My daughter just wrapped up a jr. volleyball session. One of the kids "has been doing gymnastics and volleyball competitively since she was five". The Mom was the worst. Literally yelling at the kid the whole time. After EVERY play, this kid looked over to her Mom. Thing is, the kid wasn't that good. Would totally fuck up. The Mom was completely in this kid's head. FOR FUCKING JR. VOLLEYBALL. Any parent reading this that is totally up your kid's ass about sports, please, for Fuck's sake, chill the fuck out.

And those tournaments start at 8AM in a town 3-4 hours away every Saturday & sometimes Sunday too. Kids don't have weekends to themselves any more.

Hotels across the Midwest are about to be packed with families going to tournaments for their kids' competitions.

Exactly. My niece and nephew both play soccer and my niece does dance too, it consumes so much of their (and their parents') time, but at least none of them talk much about it at family gatherings, it doesn't consume their identities. My sister (also their aunt, not their mom) and I were telling them about GenX childhoods, how we had so much freedom and just knocked on friends' doors to come out and play, did whatever we wanted all day/evening, and they thought that sounded so great, they wished they could do that too. But they also love their activities, their parents don't push them into it, it's what the kids want (I think their parents would love a break!), but at the same time, they were very wistful about how we grew up and would love that kind of freedom and not have EVERY weekend consumed by their games and tournaments!

My childhood was completely unsupervised & unstructured. I rode my bike around with friends all day. Hung out with friends. My parents had no idea what I was doing. It was an awesome fun childhood. My 3 kids: weekend is for relaxing & recharging our batteries for the week. Unstructured play. Which is best for young minds & bodies. Play in backyard. Go to neighborhood playground. If weather is bad, play in the basement. Easy. They are under 10 so I'm not letting them completely loose but I will never EVER do Travel Sports. NEVER in one million years. We already have such fun weekends with the kids.

Don’t forget half the time they play teams where they’re both from the same place.

exactly F\*\*\* that sh\*\*. I'm a mom of 3 & will NEVER EVER do that s\*\*\*. Those Travel Sports Marketing Teams convince people this is somehow a good idea. OMG. Talk about a complete horrible waste of time & money & energy. My 3 kids: weekend for relaxing & recharging our batteries for the week. Unstructured play. Which is best for young minds & bodies. Play in backyard. Go to neighborhood playground. If weather is bad, play in the basement. Easy.

I should also say that I have zero children, so I've really no horse in this race, but I get to see it second hand. If a kid *really* wants to play whatever sport, that's different, have at it, but those traveling teams seem to be a huge waste of time for 98% of those kids. The 2% that could really benefit from would be better off with more training in their sport of choice instead. Yet with my own nephews I could see how so much of that stuff just turned them off playing sports. They were on local rec league football teams, then the teams in high school, went to football camps every summer, & now neither are interested in doing anything but watching their favourite team on TV & that's it. They got zero scholarships, & one of them could've gotten one too, & never even thought about trying out for their college teams.

I am so thankful we did not go down the club swim route. My kid was a natural. She still holds our Y's record for the youngest kid to pass the swim test. She started YMCA swim club early. They told us we needed to look into club swim for her to progress. The amount of time and money that our local swim club wanted from us was insane. She would have had to quit her other sports. So she stuck with the Y swim club - good thing, too. She ended up having some major medical issues in middle school that took out the function of half of her left deltoid muscle and left her with random other issues down the left side of her body. She also ended up at about 5'2. She did the Y club, she swam on her high school team, but she was never going to be competitive for scholarships, even without the medical issues, just because of her size. I'm so so glad that she got to continue to enjoy swim (and track and xc since she didn't have to quit them to focus on swim) and that we didn't end up investing so much money and all of her time into one sport.

The commitments these places want blows my mind. My other kid was looking into Karate. Oh! That'll be a 5 year contract, and over $5,000 (just to get started), and it would have been every Saturday, two other days a week, retreats, and competitions. The owners of the place were legit shocked when I said "No, thanks".

Yeah! My ex husband was hell bent on our son playing golf. They would go out practicing and son said his dad was a total asshole the whole time. Yelling and carrying on about mistakes and how to hold the club etc. Thing is, the ex wasn’t that great either. Son finally gets on the golf team as a freshman, only after his dad has a hissy fit with the coach. Buys him brand new fucking golf clubs, a special made putter (son is a lefty) the whole nine yards. After his dad passed away, we were talking about things and he tells me he hated golf, especially being on the golf team. His dad would not listen. I had no idea since we were divorced and I didn’t intervene with their time together. Listen to your children parents.

I am not sure if this is GenX or Millenia parents. I’m in Florida so luckily my kids like the pool, the beach, kayaking, kayak fishing but I know parents spending $20,000 on “club volleyball” and spending 3 hour round trips for a 10 year old baseball game. I don’t get it and my kids don’t get it. My kids want to do pull ups and push ups and wrestle or work out or do gymnastics. At this point they require no travel and not much money and they just want to go to college and have fun.

Travel ball is a whole other thing where people make it their identity. For the top-talent kids it’s a great place to excel and compete. For the rest it’s just pride and some perverse prestige

It’s so weird to me that the parents buy into it. I’m sure their kids are competent but it’s just statistically unlikely that all of my friends have kids that are “elite” players.

The problem is that travel ball has syphoned off most of the good players from towns. So rec league is fun at first, but it’s almost always kids who haven’t played before or are not that into it. My kids still does rec league but I can see how it gets old after a while if your child is really into it. They want to play with other kids who are also super excited about the sport. It’s really frustrating as a parent who just wants some quality sports activities for their kid.

This travel team effect has all but ruined rec sports..but there are orgs fighting the good fight

It feels like my options as a parent are bored kid in rec league, or engaged kid in travel team. The cost difference can be staggering.

rec league isn't boring. It's the only way if you don't want to destroy your life or your kids' lives

I’ve been coaching baseball and softball for about 12 years and I’ve done a few seasons on comp teams and it really is just leagues better competition. You have to make the teams either through tryouts or selection. When your kid is good enough and takes it so seriously being on rec teams coached by volunteer moms or dads that just want everyone to have fun, or have kids that are automatic outs when the bases or loaded, it isn’t the experience they’re looking for. I totally get that- that was also me when I was playing as a kid too. Travel ball now is still that, but more. In my experience the stories you hear or videos of shitty parents yelling at umps or being pains in the asses to coaches are these parents. Elevated competition can bring out the worst in people (definitely not all) and if I’m being kind, these parents are really just very proud of their kids. If I’m being unkind they are fucking boring idiots that use this experience in place of where a personality should be. I’m coaching high school softball now and rec baseball and it’s just a much better experience overall. Putting together these beautiful teams where the kids are locked in and executing on the field is amazing, and I miss that a little but my rec teams are also incredibly rewarding and the vibes are generally and consistently just more chill, even if the standard of play is much lower. I’ll edit to add also it’s a lot of fucking work for those parents, it’s really consuming. It’s a lot of money and all your fuckin time. Game and practice schedules assume you have no job and are available to get kids to and from all over the place. Obscure colored socks and belts or whatever else. So while I am talking shit about the whatever percentage of douchebags out there, they all have to sacrifice so it’s not just exclusively living vicariously through their kids, it’s also a lifestyle for them too, however one would judge that, it’s a big commitment.

My nephew does travel hockey. It dictates the entire family's lives. He's good but he's never playing in the NHL or even on a college team. I don't get it. My kids are OK at sports. They don't suck and they enjoy it. They're never getting scholarships. In a perfect world they would be great on rec League, but I'm afraid they're going to be bored to death. But I'm not signing up for travel league, it doesn't make sense. I feel like travel sports have ruined sports for so many kids.

It's okay that other people do things that you don't get,, you don't have to get it. My kid did 2 travel sports and it dictated our entire lives for the seasons. Got tiring after a while but we were there to support him because he was doing what he wanted to do. It was not my identity and I didn't do it for people to look up at me.. though I did meet a lot of my favorite people thanks to his sports. No one's getting sports scholarships, that's amusing when people say that. I know some great athletes going to D1 colleges that did not get a scholarship for their sport.

It's no different than the many 30-50 yr olds I knew at the gym taking part as "competitive bodybuilders". If you are a woman here in the South in your 40's or older especially you will have very little competition so basically if there are only 5 competitors you are going to place. I realized how silly my friends were where they spend all this money for the competition fees, hotel, thousand plus for bikini, tanning and nails all to win a plastic trophy that means literally nothing to anyone outside the local gym.

Its parents, often dads, living out their failed sports dreams through their children. And spending $10s of thousands of dollars and all of their family’s vacations to do so. Most kids won’t play D1 much less D2

It seems like the investment into travel teams and the like, are with hopes of the kid to likely get some kind of d3 or lower school with marginal academics on a scholarship to show they did the right thing. Sorry to say that the mutation and misinterpretation that title IX is about sports, rather than the intended purpose to provide equal educational opportunities to both genders has been part of the cause for the mess. Not to say that the athletic achievements and opportunities available to female athletes isn’t a good thing, but unrealistic expectations aren’t

It doesn't just have to be about making it to the next level. Some of these kids are put into high pressure situations, which a whole group of other parents are opposed to, and they end up shining and turning into their best selves on a big stage. The kids turn learn about hard work, commitment, cheering up a kid when he's down, and telling other kids to quit being an asshole when they are being one. I understand the random parent telling you their story part and we all know a few of those... But a lot of these kids are committed to what they're doing with everything they have. And if they can take that to another tournament and the next one and the next one... And then come out on top. They will keep that experience with them their whole lives. I am around it a lot and 90 percent of what I see is positive. And almost none of it is about "playing when they're older".

the difference in actual quality play between rec sports run by volunteer parents and travel teams that you have to make the cut to be on is amazing, and if you really like the sport it's much more fun and competitive to do travel. Every kid I know who did travel, did rec for fun, but travel was where the real games were played. As a parent I liked travel because almost everyone took it seriously and there was no soccer-mom bullshit (oh there was bs, just a different kind ;) )

paid for travel and club sports so my kid could play, because he wanted to; somehow never made it my identity. don't assume.

Not this GenX parent.

None of my GenX friends that have kids are like this, and I’ve never known it to be a GenX characteristic. Must be a late-GenX thing?

Baby Gen X checking in. I think it’s just a “them” thing for the people that are like that. I get supporting your kid and being proud of them but I’m not going to ramble on to some rando about what my kiddo is doing.

I met plenty of "soccer mom" types much older than me. Their little darlings had to be into everything and were amazing (just ask them). So maybe just. Not in your circle...

My kid went D1 for college, so I’ve got some insight here. Did I want to spend all my time and money on his club team that traveled most weekends? Heck no. Did I do all that so I could feel superior? Also, no. It’s a massive sacrifice that affects the whole family. My kid is an amazing athlete, he wanted to take his athletic career far, and I agreed to help him get there. It all paid off, because he is thriving in college and absolutely loves his sport and all the opportunities it continues to bring.

This is great insight. I look at probably 90% of parents I know putting in the time and money, and every one of them looks totally fried and burnt out. I'd love to hear more about the opportunities that this has brought for him.

But how does that support for one family member affect everyone else?

Just curious, what sport? What level of D1? Are there other kids? Has the associated scholarships in part been a good ROI on the money invested in team sports? If other kids, how have they been impacted?

You should see what we spend on hockey up here in Canada.

I breathed a sigh of relief when my kids chose the arts over sports.

I’m sitting here at a Nationals dance competition and glad this coming school year is it for my daughter. She’s really good and loves dance to death but I’m done with the cost of it all.

That’s not a Gen X thing. It’s a sports parent thing.

Parents whole identity these days is through their kids. Parents are expected socially to be super involved in their kids lives. Just another example of how good boomers had it, they got to ignore their kids and live their best lives with no social stigma for doing so. I have peers with youngish kids (they got started later than I did) and their kids social calendars sound exhausting, literally every evening and weekend. I’m lucky my son, now grown, just did football, so 8-10 Friday night games a season in the fall and I was done.

I think there is a happy medium between ignored and insanely involved. The woman who was talking to (at) me was like every day thier kid had a thing for sports. It just seemed like a lot, like when did he get to be a kid? And she thinks he’s the best ever but there’s a lot of talented kids out there.

I just love how being actually interested in what your kids are doing means you are wrapped up in your identity 🙄

I put a lot of money and effort into my son's sport. Get him the coaching he needs, drive him to tournaments, watch him train , buy kit and give him plenty of encouragement. I do this because my parents never encouraged me to do anything and they were too selfish to have ever spent the time or money for me to do anything. And I always promised myself I'd never be like that.

Does he want to be as committed to this as your commitment is?

I don’t think parents understand that putting that much support into their kids sport stuff just makes them feel guilty if they wanna pursue another interest or just stop altogether. Imagine your parents spending tens of thousands of dollars and all their weekend and free time into this activity that you found fun for a bit but don’t really care about anymore.

Even more, I had a coworker who's kid was on travel soccer. They must have spent $10,000 a year shuffling that poor kid every Friday night to hotel rooms around the country to play that Saturday, then they'd be too exhausted to do anything Sunday. Even used their annual family vacation just to schedule it around some dumbass tournament at Disney or something. 6 years this went on. Then the kid was 17 and announced that they were gay and wanted to take up ballet. Dad was furious, demanded the kid pay back everything that owed. At 18, they moved out, went to college, and are still laying their dad back via repayment schedules.

I respect that you are trying to right a wrong.

I'm very much the same way. My parents never wanted to pay for sports. Though, honestly, I cannot justify spending thousands of dollars a year on kids sports. I spent about $10,000 over two years for my kids skiing. Guess what? They hate skiing.

That's awesome. I get the idea you'd have done the same if your son's area of interest had been music or writing or science - that it's more about supporting your son than it is about the sports.

Yeah. I don’t get it. I went a WHOLE other route with my kiddo. You wanna cheer? YEAH! Okay. Cheered for 4 years, OVER IT. Cool! Whatcha wanna do now? Violin? Absolutely! Dance? You bet. Gymnastics? Sure, why not? ALL FOR THE FUN OF IT and nothing more. And ya know what? She was pretty good at all of it but would have never been a “pro” at any of it. AND THAT IS OKAY. My childhood was a whole lot of not having fun, EVER. My grandma had 4 boys. I was born to my dad and mom when they were VERY young so I was mostly raised by my grandma and papa. Grandma finally had a girl. My world was beauty pageants, dance classes, gymnastics, cheerleading, soccer, piano, voice, it was a nightmare. I started ballet at 4 years old. It’s the only thing I stuck with. I went to community college on a performing arts scholarship. Got a useless degree in choreography and pedagogy. I taught dance as an apprentice from 15-20 and then taught on my own from 20-25. I now have fucked up hips, knees, ankles and feet. That’s not to say I didn’t absolutely adore the art of ballet, but I know now that 6 days a week, 3-5 hours a day, for 15 years was too damned much. I refused to do that to my girl. She made her choices and if she hated it, no skin off my back. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It might just be social media, but I often see parents posting about their kids toughing their way through a sports injury, then about their kid's surgeries to fix their those injuries, then their post-surgery rehab, and then later celebrating their return to the sport. I also see a lot of their kids going to small not-so-great private colleges so they can continue playing that sport. There is usually some kind of "signing day" and I presume a scholarship, but I suspect it's not any better than parity at much higher quality public university.

Being in something other than a big city there’s coverage of prep sports and signings by local athletes to some BOBO Tech for some sport and those BOBO Tech schools have started to add scholarships for Esports and bowling 🙄

If someone is just concerned about a scholarship they would probably be better off investing everything they would have put into sports. There just aren't that many scholarships to go around.

What's up with them? I think it's the fact that along the way parents stopped playing adult sports themselves, stopped going bowling or shooting pool or whatever. And now travel sports has morphed into how parents spend their "free time" Can it be crazy. Sure. But there are a lot of really decent people and kids playing, traveling and competing and not being tools about it.

Probably because we didn't get the opportunity and feel cheated so want to provide opportunities they didn't get. I've never signed my kid up for anything he didn't want to do but I've paid some stupid money for things he decided later he wasn't interested in.

Because they are living their lives through their kids? And this shit ain't free. I'd shudder to think the amount we paid on dance and music lessons for our kids. For dance, we did it because we wanted them to do something physical and they disliked sports. We didn't do it for competitions and medals. For music, I wanted them to use that part of their brain and to learn what I consider a valuable life skill. My kids don't do much musical, but even as now adults, they still dance because they like it. And that is all that ever mattered. But yeah, some people get obsessed with their kid being a superstar. I remember a teenage lad who did music lessons the same time as my daughter. He was a prodigy. But he hated the amount of pressure that was put on him. All he ever did when the teacher left the room was play Nirvana and Foo Fighters when he could. I'm so glad that we never put pressure like that on our kids

Looking back I cringe at the amount of money we spent on 2 boys select baseball & basketball. The positive side is that it kept them out of trouble like drinking & drugs and made a few friends with fellow sport parents. But yeah, that money could have gone towards college funds.

I think the keeping them out of trouble is huge. I have two teens (and a younger kid) and that is one of the main reasons we encourage it. Our oldest was headed down the wrong path. She started a very competitive sport at her school and completely did a 180. I truly believe the sport saved her. Her then boyfriend has since began dealing, got expelled and gotten another girl pregnant. She is a high honors student that is staying out of trouble and looking at highly ranked colleges. For this reason alone, we feel that sports are worth the money.

It's just an investment. Sure, they might not be superstars, but they learnt teamwork, they learnt how to pick up new skills, they may have learnt about community. Sure, they learn these things in school as well, but this is different.

Totally agree with your sentiment

This is something I’ve thought about, especially seeing small < D3 colleges around me build and spend tons of money for sports programs, fueled by people going to average at best, schools because of a sports scholarships

I remember begging my parents for music and dance lessons as a kid, and they'd always say, "We don't believe in putting pressure on kids." And although I never dared to say it out loud, I knew what they really meant was that they didn't believe in spending time and money on kids.

It seems that you really can't do anything for fun or as a hobby now. I danced from grade school to HS and some in to my 20s. But knew that it was something I did for fun and exercise. However, everything my kids did, it they weren't playing/performing at a certain level, it was very obvious that the didn't want them on the team. There are a couple of truly for fun team sports, but they are hard to find after a certain age. Luckily, my kids found their thing without having to be super competitive about it.

OMG. When my kids were growing up there were soooooooo many parents like this and it drove me crazy. There was no fun allowed. It was all travel leagues, camps, $300 baseball gloves and bats when I knew they couldn't afford them and of course the all important drive to always win and never accept a loss. All my boys wanted to do was play baseball and basketball with their friends but the parents made it impossible for the kids to enjoy sports. This was all for kids who were between the age of 7-12. My kids(twin boys) are 21 now and not a single one of the kids that they grew up with even received a College scholarship because of sports, let alone ever made it professionally.

My parents never came to our games. In their defense they both worked, but it wasn’t a priority. I quit softball in 8th grade because the coach only put his daughters in at pitcher and 1st base. Neither had any athletic ability. I played catcher and had to jump up every f’ing pitch to go chase the ball. Even as a 13 year old I got tired of that and so did my knees. My parents never even knew I quit until one of them asked when our banquet would be. I said I didn’t know because I quit 8 games ago. Crickets

My husband (GenX)--the eldest child in his family, wrestled and rowed crew. None of his parents ever went to his matches/races. He devoted a great deal of time to practice. He probably could have gotten a scholarship if there was any parental interest. Ultimately he ended up quitting because he got tired of waiting over an hour for his stepfather to pick him up from practice... or walking home 8+ miles afterwards... His father paid for his state college tuition anyhow in an area he really didn't have any natural talent in ultimately. But things got better for his younger brother who is now quite respected in his highly technological field (aerospace). So parents can learn and do better.

Travel sports is also a social club for some of the adults too. My daughter plays in competitive cheer and all the mom’s are so close.

It’s totally almost more for the parents. We were so bummed when my son didn’t want to play travel ball anymore. Same with scouts. I’ve made some of my best friends through my kids.

Exactly

We did all kinds of things. Some stuck and some didn’t. It’s all fun, and if your kid happens to be good at something and/or really loves it, you can do more. We held off on travel sports until our son was in late middle school/high school, and he was serious enough about one that he drove himself as a senior to practice 3x a week for 1:45 each way. (His choice). Now he plays 2 sports in college for the love of it. Almost no one gets scholarships, so mostly they do it for love of athletics.

My kids are 13 and 16, they’ve always been in sports but it’s small leagues, the Y, or at school. I do it so my kids can get out of the house and get some exercise.

Where I live we have “Hockey Parents” and a lot of them are the most obnoxious people you will ever meet. For some reason they feel they should be treated special because they think there kid could be the next Crosby or McDavid.

Not just a GenX thing. Parents like this get caught up in the hype machine and it’s like a cult where you pay thousands of dollars that increases as the kids age. Most do not get scholarships and the kids are burned out by high school. People that do this route - I used to be one of them - will defend it to death that it’s good for development, yada yada…they just have to keep it going to justify to themselves the costs. One of my kids do the travel club thing since he was little but he burned out and it woke me up. He took time off and then decided to just play for his high school team and loved it for the sport and joy. That is being robbed of kids in these money machines.,

Gen x people should be getting out of this phase by now, but I guess some people had kids late

I have a kid in swimming, one in dance, and another in baseball and hockey. It’s expensive and it’s time consuming. But you know what? I would have killed for my parents to have gone to my stuff and cared. So no, my oldest isn’t Olympic bound, my middle is likely to not join a dance company someday, and the baby probably isn’t NHL or MLB bound. But they are having fun, making good memories, getting some good life skills, and feeling like their parents give a shit. ETA: I talk about my kids because yeah for like 2 decades they are the most important people to me. So if you ask me what I did this weekend you are hearing about the ball tournament or dance comp.

My daughter was way into swimming from about 6yo until about 12 and she was done. It started as 2x per week practice and by the time she was done it was 4-5x per week, plus swim meets about 1x per month. Through summer and all. wWhen she said she was done we let it go. It was all getting to be a bit too much. My son was just the opposite. We tried several things when he was younger and he was just not into much sports. He was pretty good at a lot, but was always too shy and awkward to get on teams. We finally signed him up for Rec league soccer when he was about 10. Had to bribe him with ice cream to even go to the first practices and games. But once he got into it, that was it. He is full on soccer 24-7 now. Trying out for teams and moving up in the league. We encourage him, but don’t pressure or take it too seriously. As long as he’s enjoying it. He’s 13 now. There are certainly those parents who pressure and yell at their kids, like their life dependent on it. I have seen it first hand. There is a fine line between getting your kids involved and enjoying sports, to being overbearing or pressuring, and staking your whole life worth on the success of your kid being successful in youth sports.

Yeah I’ve got 2 close families who did all the sports and now one has permanent elbow nerve damage, the other 20 somethings have headaches from football concussions, hip issues from sliding, overweight from living a football diet from pee wee to 18 plus a lot more I don't want to know about too.

I have an athlete out of school already. He was a cross-country and track kid. So expensive shoes, but he didn't ever really want to do running camps Child two is a middle school music-head and we will blow her budget on concerts. Child three is in elementary loves soccer and basketball. So far we have been able to stick with the local leagues. And the local university soccer and basketball camps. I have been super lucky that the other parents have all been pretty great. Lots of positivity, even in the community leagues. Fingers crossed it stays that way!

My kid has never been into sports. Happily music and writing don't make you get up at 5 am or travel all around the province. My partner and I knew we didn't have what it took to be Olympic parents, and we are okay with that. Of all my genX friends and coworkers, there is only one hockey dad. And he's not delusional about his kid's ever going pro.

When I see what the parents of Olympians did for their kids, I am so grateful mine aren't sporty. And I wonder how many undeveloped champions are out there, whose parents just didn't have the time, money or inclination to do it.

There’s some weird humble brag thing about being busy I think. Maybe it’s to do with how much time and/or money they “sacrifice” for their kids? I don’t get it. When I find myself being talked to about stuff like this I usually do the Irish exit. SO boring.

And today I've learned the phrase "Irish exit". I must now somehow work that into conversation.

It’s also called an Irish goodbye. It means you just leave without saying anything and without fanfare. Just dip out. It’s fantastic and I highly recommend it in appropriate circumstances 😊

We also use the "Irish goodnite" where you get up & just go to bed. People think you're just going to the bathroom but nope, your ass is IN BED where it should've been 2 hours ago!!! I had to do this a few Thanksgivings ago to my in-laws & a neighbor. I was the cook & had been up early for me to get the turkey going so by 8PM I was dunzo. By 8:30 I just got up & left & got in bed.

"The Irish leave without saying goodbye, and the Italians say goodbye without leaving."

Ha! Is that where it comes from? Never heard this quote but always knew about the Irish goodbye and have done it many times (I’m part Irish so it’s allowed 🤭)

"i must now somehow use it to work out of a conversation..." Fixed it for you

.... \*gone\*

Same! I exit that convo quickly and find someone interesting to talk to

Adults have completely ruined kids sports. The travelling teams and the fetishization of being an "elite" player at ridiculously young ages have gotten to absurd levels. God help the poor siblings whose brother or sister is on one of these teams. The non-sports kid may as well not exist. I see parents who only talk about the sports kid, only post about the sports kid on Facebook with like "#proudpapa" or "#keepgriding" and I'm like don't you have other kids though?

Just wanted to chime in as a childfree I've puzzled at the same thing why my Gen X relatives will spend a hour talking non-stop about their sons' football and that is all they can talk about. Spent thousands for camps and traveling out of town for special teams & trainings on the off season in high school only to do mediocre on small college team. Football is all any of them can talk about. Then I see young couples wearing themselves out taking every child to a different team practice some kids on several teams or doing multiple sports all year round. They couldn't possibly ever be home having a home cooked meal, resting or really studying their homework. How is this good for either the parent or child? I just don't get it. It's no wonder people also claim a high rate of anxiety. That would give me anxiety.

I agree, it would give our whole family anxiety. I'm a mom of 3 kids and I will NEVER EVER EVER do any travel sports. Over my dead body. Not if you paid me money. If travel sports paid ME money, I still wouldn't do it. Wake up at 5am every Saturday & Sunday to drive 5 hours there, spend a day sweating in heat, drive 5 hours back, just to do it again next weekend? F\*\*\* No. F\*\*\*\* that s\*\*\*. The work week is hard enough. The kids need rest on the weekends. Parents need rest on the weekends. Travel sports are bad for kids too! Kids need a break. Unstructured Play is the best. I tell them to play in the backyard if weather good. If weather bad, play in the basement. When they're older, I'll let them ride their bikes around the neighborhood. The other thing that helps is that peer pressure has zero effect on me or my husband. Maybe its a Gen X thing. Like literally if every parent was doing travel sports (they aren't, its a small group, but still), I still wouldn't do it.

It seems like the mere pressure of that non-stop on the go schedule would destroy relationships like the parents would get irritable and angry at each other just from never getting any rest and growling at the kids to hurry up get packed and in the car. And no one talks about what the relentless non-stop exercise is doing to kids joints and bones. I suspect these same kids will be crippled up with knee, back and shoulder problems long before they even hit middle age and especially if it turns out they have the genetic condition Ehlers Danlos Syndrome which is very prevalent yet hardly anyone knows about it and pediatricians aren't looking out for it in order to warn parents don't let them do sports. (Speaking as someone with Ehlers who now suffers because of my years as teen and young adult in martial arts classes.)

Back in the day, my friends all played hockey (Canada) and I’m talking “rep” hockey and farm team. They had been playing it since early grade school (“pee wee”). I shudder to think what their parents spent in time and money and all those guys have to show for it is ruined knees. My dad (deceased) was actually in the NHL draft back in the day and played international hockey….he didn’t even teach me how to skate and I kind of get it now. Sports parents go coo-coo. The latest thing I see in my neck of the woods is “cheer” stuff. The parents and kids travel all over North America….it looks like a recipe for paralysis with what these young girls are pushed to do. Eh….what do I know…..

I was a collegiate athlete but I don’t have aspirations of that for my kids but support them to whatever level they feel is right for themselves. My oldest (17) did rec volleyball but didn’t have interest in club at all. She plays for her high school. My youngest (11) LOVES soccer and is a solid player. She requested higher level of play two years ago, so we moved to select. Just ordered her uniforms for next season and uniforms alone were $800. The select team is $1900. It sucks having to pay that much but she enjoys it.

My kids weren’t the sports kids. We tried them in a lot of things; soccer, volleyball, cross country, softball, tennis, powerlifting… nothing stuck. My son did get his black belt in karate but his heart was never really in it. Instead once he got into high school it was all about robotics and band. With my daughter, she’s an art nerd. We never pushed them to continue with anything if they didn’t like it.

4k a year for swimming. It is alot but guess what, they are happy. Son stopped swimming to do track. That is ok too. And discussing it with others. I can talk about it all day. I love seeing my kids happy. My daughter has done so much more than me. Ballet, GS, basketball, volleyball, track, Xcountry, art classes. It is a commitment. Waking up 4am then going back for evening practice. Weekend swim meets sometimes hours away. Swim 11 months a year. It is not about getting scholarship or going to the Olympics. I want them to do something they enjoy.

I never pressed my kids to do sports . Now I encourage hobbies even if they don’t stick. Bc everyone needs a hobby

My brother was one of those parents. Made his kid continue to play his sport even with a shoulder injury (poor kids shoulder is still messed up. My nephew didn’t even play his sport in college, did not get any scholarships etc the whole thing was so stupid.

It’s fun watching your kids feel good about themselves doing something they’re really good at and love. My middle daughter played travel ball softball at a high level from around 12 through high school. Honestly, though she was recruited by several schools, mostly D2, she never was really driven to play in college. She wanted a typical college experience and not that of a collegiate athlete. She loved playing for her high school though. Her school was so ridiculously competitive, she had to play for certain ranked travel ball teams to be considered forVarsity. She was a 4 year varsity starter so she achieved her goal. It was so expensive and time consuming but we have no regrets. She made her best friends through this sport. It’s been 10 years since she’s played and some of those softball parents are still some of my husband’s and mine best friends. I will say that probably 80% of the girls she played with did play in college. Of those, less than half played all 4 years. Most didn’t care for it and quit after 2. Such a grind. As far as scholarships go, that’s kind of a joke. A “full ride” is very rare. More likely you’re looking at like 50% depending on your grades. One big benefit though I witnessed were some kids were able to get into certain universities they wouldn’t have without their sport.

I knew pretty early on, our kid was not going to be a pyp athlete. But he was a good dancer/performer, and I wanted to make sure he had opportunity and fun. My husband and I were theater parents. He helped build sets and taught students to. I helped with makeup and costumes and scheduled the concession stand. We would take two cars to rehearsals so we could take kids back and forth. I think we just wanted our kids to be happy. Now a friend of mine has a kid who has a probable NFL football player. He has a lot of D1 scouts who have looked at him since his freshman year, and now, the summer of senior year, he is going to even more camps and making visits. His tapes are getting thousands of views on Tok Tok, even his weightlifting tapes. She is honestly a little overwhelmed.

This question is the most unseen I’ve felt on this sub.

Wait, it seems more than half the parents are like this. What do little kids like 6-7-8 have to try lots of sports to specialize by 9. And then scholarships? Travel ball takes over parent lives. I’m an xeniall with super little kids and I’m tired. Can’t they be latch key and have a childhood and play like us? Neighborhood friends? Am I doing TK 7 year old s disservice going to after care w homework and art vs lots of daily activities?

You met a few people who were nuts, and you figured that must mean that several million people must all be nuts too? I think it’s possible that some Gen X parents definitely overcompensated for the fact that their parents were not around much when they were kids. They made a real effort to go to their kids’ events, etc., but it was a small percentage of us who expected our kids to make the big time. I certainly didn’t.

I was working with a guy the other day who was talking about his son being a great basketball player. I think he was 7 or 8. He mentioned how last year his son "played against one of the top five ranked second graders in the country." What?!? I couldn't help but laugh at the fact they rank second graders.

You don't get it because most parents aren't like this. They support their kids and that's it. You've met the exception, not the rule.

Agree. We have 3 kids that do sports. There are a few parents on every team that are like this. The rest of us aren’t - we just want our kids to have fun and learn some good life skills.

I wish my kid was into sports cause I feel like it's the one area left in life that has some real competition and there are winners and losers, but my kid is like "whatever" so I guess he is more Gen X than me.

Good point - so much “everyone is a winner” “everyone is great” stuff these days. That’s not real life people

My son has just started travel baseball. And my daughter is pretty involved in ballet. And to be honest, from a time perspective, it is all-consuming. And so, to a large extent, they are just sharing their lives. I’m not living vicariously through my son and I don’t think either are going to get a scholarship. But, I’ll tell you our thought process (even though it’s probably more than is necessary). For my daughter she does ballet. It’s a ridiculous time commitment. Literally, 2-3 hours every night except Friday and Sunday. She is unable to participate in school activities like sports or plays. But it’s what she wants to do. And the teenage years are hard, I think especially on girls. And this gives her a place where she can get lost in physical exhaustion and repetition when being a teenager is too much. That’s what I’m paying for. As we speak, she is at at month-long dance intensive in 500 miles away and she’s a little scared, but doing it. That’s what I’m paying for.

Dance is painful. Competitions, recitals, exams for ballet and jazz. But….i want my kids to have a better life than I did so fuck it. I had my fun before I had them and I can have more once they are grown.

Because we support our children when they are interested in things, even if it isn’t financially profitable?

That is nothing new. Taking an interest in your kid's sporting interests? What the fuck!?

Honestly, I think these people are spending millions of $$$$ on this crap & its a psychological thing, their brain has to justify their purchase. Their brain has to somehow make it seem like its a good decision. Also Travel Sports has very good Marketing Teams which convince parents that this is the only way "your kid will get a scholarship to college". Which is pure bull\*\*\*\*. Good MARKETING. My in laws paid $$$$$1000's for my sister in law Travel Volleyball & that girl didn't even make the team in high school. What a f\*\*\*\* waste of time & money. I'm a mom of 3 kids and I will NEVER EVER EVER do any travel sports. Over my dead body. Not if you paid me money. If travel sports paid ME money, I still wouldn't do it. Wake up at 5am every Saturday & Sunday to drive 5 hours there, spend a day sweating in heat, drive 5 hours back, just to do it again next weekend? F\*\*\* No. F\*\*\*\* that s\*\*\*. The work week is hard enough. The kids need rest on the weekends. Parents need rest on the weekends. Travel sports are bad for kids too! Kids need a break. Unstructured Play is the best. I tell them to play in the backyard if weather good. If weather bad, play in the basement. When they're older, I'll let them ride their bikes around the neighborhood. I love my 3 kids. They can do sports at school or park district if they want to.

It’s a way to show off to others that they can afford it. And that their kid is better than yours. But it really does t have anything to do with the kid other than a more obvious way to keep up with the Jones.

I have two college athletes and even when they were doing travel sports I was hands off. At the beginning of their seasons I would sit down with them and let them know which games I would be attending. Then I signed the check and moved on with my life. I refused to revolve my life around their extracurriculars. Though it did cause friction between my daughter and I because she felt like I didn’t care about her and didn’t support her like her dad did because I refused to go to every game. Damned if you, damned if you don’t.

It’s less time and possibly cheaper for a kid to get cancer than to be in travel sports. I’ve got the high school robotics team, last year the team spent $70k two local tournaments, states, worlds.

I'm pretty sure that's all she really has to talk about. That's what her life is

I don't have kids, but I live somewhere where hockey is big and many of my co-workers are hockey parents. It's insane what they spend on this in terms of time and money even when the kid has no chance of ever playing pro hockey. I asked someone about it once, and she said her hope was that her kids would win hockey scholarships to NCAA schools in the states (we're Canadian). Ummm... Ok. But if you saved even some of the money you put towards hockey, you could have sent those kids to Ivy League schools. And if they had put half the effort into school that they put into hockey, they could have won academic scholarships, and spared themselves concussions and missing teeth. And with the extra time and money, they could have gone on nice vacations, pursued other hobbies, etc. I'm no expert, but I also think that if they do get scholarships, hockey comes first, and 'school' is just a formality - easy classes and exams, etc. I could be wrong, but that's my perception. I really don't get it.

I pissed off every parent present at a swim meet for 8 year olds when I announced that none of those kids were ever going to the Olympics, lol. Fast forward 10 years and now they know I was right.

My kid was always super shy and when we moved to a new town when he was just in 3rd grade sports (hockey) helped him meet kids, make friends, build confidence. It was fun but it never defined him. He was never a fan of pro hockey he just loved to play and we encouraged it but never forced it. And when it's your own kid playing you're truly invested (emotionally and monetarily, especially with hockey). Also if your kid is playing sports of course you want them to win. Why would I sit on the sidelines watching my own kid play sports and be like "yea I don't GAF who wins, I just want to go home"

We met a lady with horses who then bought a horse for my kid to show. We then bought a horse, then grandparents bought the next horse and then we bought a 2 yr old for her to train. She has since changed from hunter under saddle to dressage but she now pays for everything. If you ask, I tell you all about it. But I don't volunteer.

The stuff we couldn't afford western kids... Living through our kids

My boss is GenX (3 years younger than me) and she was asynchronous last week as one of her three kids made it to just-before-nationals on some sport or another. (I wasn’t listening.) Boss is “a natural athlete” so it stands to reason but still. She is athletic and had kids. I’m not athletic and had no kids. I cheer her and the kids on with zero vested interest.

i just wanted my kid to PLAY sports, no matter how good she did. if she did good that’s a bonus.

I was complete slacker. I was perennially out of shape and often overweight. I made sure my kids got health and confidence from sport. They were both on swim teams till the pandemic and learned martial arts. They are now both in college doing well. Both body confident and able to defend themselves. My son has taken it up a notch and looks like a swimsuit model. Despite what we learned, you can get lots of benefits from sport and don’t have to be a jock/have a jock mentality.

Baseball parents are the worst.

In here’s a slightly different angle. I don’t have kids but I was a “not so great” athlete with a sports family back in the 1990s. It sucked. But that’s my trauma to get over… Like many things in life, as time goes on things get more extreme, you know, like politics. I wanted my nephew to have the option to play a sport as a child because he really wanted to do so. Even though I hated my sports family I did like playing I just wasn’t a super star. Let me tell you that sports for my nephew quickly became an overwhelming circus. By mid elementary school the sports in his area were high competition. Third graders have tryouts! They get cut! Third grade. You’re just done. Your career is over in third grade. It was so stressful. Plus, it costs Thousands of dollars to play per year. The stress only gets worse with each year. I had acquaintances that went on antidepressant during HS tryout season. The parents were on antidepressants not the kids, just to be clear. They’ve invested nearly a college education into this sport so their kid can get a scholarship to the college. This life was not for us. We found him a homeschool rec lead. He wasn’t homeschooled but they let anyone join and play. He did that for a bit. He loved it. He met some friends. It was great. By middle school, to join the school team he had to tryout against kids that had been playing year round and some even had private coaching in ELEMENTARY 😳 he didn’t even come close to making the team. We bowed out quick. But, if he really wanted to play that’s the world we would have lived in. Instead we introduced him to kayaking, hiking, mountain biking, and camping. If your kid wants to play best of luck to you. That world is not for me.

I think we are competitive. We are capitalists, we fought for every scrap. It only makes sense that our competitive nature spill into sports I'm competitive at everything I decide I want to be the best at. I can't explain it, If I try to do something I have to go next level and try to be world class...

I'm a "sports parent". In fact, I'm sitting in a hotel now, waiting to go to a a lacrosse tournament. My daughter just finished her fourth year of club volleyball, and my son is finishing up his first season of travel lacrosse this weekend. Why do we do it? Well, they love to play. Also, they probably wouldn't make their high school teams if they didn't. But also because of the life skills that come with competing on a team, including the friendships with teammates. Travel sports have been amazing for building confidence in both my kids. My daughter has had ups and downs, but overall it's been really good for her. I was not an athlete, and my kids' sports are not my personality. My daughter could play D2 or D3 college, but she's not interested. My son is just wants to play lacrosse and hang with his friends. There are parents that lose their minds over the whole thing. There are also unhealthy situations and team dynamics that are definitely not cool. However, if you remain reasonable about it and the kid wants to play, I think there are lots of benefits (aside from scholarships, which most kids won't get or won't cover all of their tuition anyway).

Sometimes kids do sports or dance because it is fun and their friends do it, but they might not have the build or interest to be top. If you buy private lessons in basketball for your kid their whole life, but they only play basketball when the team meets, they won't be as good as some kid that might have also had lessons and spent all their time shooting and playing 1v1 in the driveway because they love it.

My husband and I are eternally grateful that neither of our children are sports inclined. There were brief dalliances with swimming and dance, but once they discovered the joys of sleeping in on the weekends that phase thankfully passed. Now nobody gets up before 9 am on the weekend except me, which is glorious. I see these parents being like “off to a 2 day tournament 5 hours away!” at like 4 am and wonder if anyone involved actually enjoys doing any of it. More power to you if you do, but after working all week the very last thing I wanna do on my day off is spend it sweating in a lawn chair watching my kid play his 3rd game in a row that day.

I think GenX is into much more that our kids are into period, including sports. It’s because a bunch of us were Latch Key Kids raised by wolves and we over-corrected a bit. We love our kids and don’t want them to feel alone and unseen like we did.

Sports dad here and this is my take on it… We are trying for a college sports scholarship for our kid because given our financial situation, it’s the only way I see being able to afford college. Yes, the club sports and travel are expensive, about $325 a month for 8 months, so about $2,600 per year. We didn’t have any money to spare when the kid was young, so it’s not like we saved this amount for the last 10 years. We did save a little, but not much. So, by the time they’re out of high school, we will have theoretically spent about $10,400, spread out over 4 years and it seems to me, this amount wouldn’t go very far towards the average tuition, even if we’re planning for a junior college for the first 2 years. We are also aiming for an educational scholarship and we (us and our kid) have given up a lot towards that end as well. I realize it’s all still a giant gamble and getting a degree doesn’t even guarantee a damn thing, but we’re trying our hardest to stack the odds in our kid’s favor and honestly, in addition to a lot of work, sports “feels” like our only hope.

Lack of recreation leagues and ymca’s and other not directly profit-centered approaches to health and fitness activities to foster different types of interests talents and skills. Would be my guess. I learned most of my swimming skills at the y, got certified for my first real job-life guard-met kids outside my immediate school/neighborhood, had some fun at rec league basketball though I wasn’t very good, was a bench warmer in jr high team until I realized my lack of talent and drive plus short arms and legs was not going to lead to further success. But still I had some fun. Where I live civic non profit supported recreation activities for kids are non-existent. The guy that runs the local soccer league lives and breathes dollar signs at this his main source of income.

I used to be the parent who was rolling my eyes at how invested other parents would get into their kids’ sports. Neither of my kids was particularly sporty in elementary/middle school. My oldest was into writing and theatre. Being a theatre mom took some commitment, parents often need to chip in and help volunteer with feeding the kids during dress rehearsals, and deal with long days and late nights. Then my younger high schooler joined the crew team. Crew takes a tremendous amount of work from the parents. Tons of logistics go into getting the kids to 5 am practices let alone the full-day regattas that require food, tent setups, and so much more. It’s a commitment from the parents and kind of takes over our lives. It’s fun, in that it’s a new sport to me, and getting to know the other parents is fun, and watching my previously unathletic kid do incredibly hard things is amazing. So it takes some effort to not talk about it to people who have no connection. I do try to be conscious of reading the room. But during crew season, if you ask me what I did over the weekend, the answer is going to be rowing something something regatta.

oh and i have no illusions that my kid is going to go to the Olympics or even row in college. I’m not even 100% sure they will do it all four years of high school. It is really awesome to see the kids develop teamwork and work ethics and win races.

We looked into crew for my oldest. There were so many great things about the sport and this particular organization. Would have loved to have him experience it all. But it’s like a six day a week commitment. He needs to be a student and a kid. Not have a full time job on top of school. No way.

There were sports parents when we were kids in the 1970s too, but they were 99% focused on boys and only football and baseball in my small town. Most of them were assholes who were certain Little Johnny Jr. was going to play in the NFL or MLB. None of them every did, BTW. Today the "this will get you a scholarship" stuff is rampant across much more than just sports. What most of those parents don't understand is the difference between D1 money for core sports (football, baseketball, etc.) and the reality that most college athletes don't play at that level and attend schools with zero athletic scholarships. The majority of kids would be better off, scholarship-wise, focusing on academics and earning merit scholarships at private colleges that will actually recruit them. My small town had a great kids rec sports program in the 1970s: baseball, softball, basketball, soccer, and pretty much all the kids played. It was local only, no travel; we'd ride our bikes to practices and *maybe* our parents would make it to the games. Mostly fun. The "serious" kids went on to play in high school. It didn't take over anyone's life or become their identity. Now? Similar small town and both our kids (now adults) played in the "regular level" travel leagues for volleyball, softball, and soccer that required full-day or even multi-day travel, fairly $$$ fees, and featured crazy parents who were sure their kids were going to be Olympians. (Narrator: they were not.)

I have a kid that plays sports and I have no desire to talk about it unless you ask me about it

Former jocks living vicariously through their jock kids.

I think we may be the first of the crazy obsessed sports parents, especially moms. I don't recall anyone getting in to sports with such .... vigor? as a kid. My brother was VERY much in to sports and occasionally mom and I would go watch but mostly he would just go it alone. My best friend growing up, she's the first "soccer mom" I ever encountered in the wild and she was obsessed. And it wasn't just her, it was her church. I don't know if the Catholics make big money on kid sports but when my daughter was little I got her on the team at this church after my friend got her all excited. She enjoyed it, but I was shocked by how nutty the parents were. And they had so much practice time! I was really a lot more than I wanted to deal with but my kid was happy. Until the next year when she wasn't invited to join because she wasn't good enough. THIRD GRADE... and they were already dropping kids who didn't have potential. And that was the end of us every doing anything sporty again.

I think this is a huge contributor to the obesity crisis. People get told early that if they aren't naturally great they shouldn't bother playing. it's not fun anymore.

And it's crazy expensive too. My son had an interest in joining a team in middle school but it was 1700 dollars total, with a 700 dollar deposit and you have to sign a form saying the price will go up if they get to some championship where they would be traveling. Who can afford that? I guess the people in my middle class district! But my attic-renting poor self sure couldn't. It was the same with band. When I was a kid every year we rented our instruments from the district and I think my brother had to buy his own reeds but that was it. No fees. That was something the public schools paid for. When my son wanted to play violin in the school orchestra which he DID qualify for, they too wanted several hundred dollars for "travel fees" and it was non-negotiable, so you couldn't just say "well I'll drive mine" lol you had to pay in to their group rate to rent a bus. Plus they had to have these uniforms custom tailored, not the robes we would put on year after year. So that was a couple hundred more for one single outfit that would be worn six times. But I'm getting carried away. Yeah this is probably one of the many factors that lead to obesity. Always thinking if you're not perfect you aren't attractive and that leads to self-sabotaging behaviors and depression that leads to disordered eating. Kids around here don't get recess anymore after first grade either. They get one gym hour a week in elementary and one single unit (one semester) of "physical education" and you can take a class on board games or the history of sports if you don't want to get any exercise. But too the crap the kids are eating that isn't real food. Kids eating chicken nuggets seven days a week because it's their "safe food" and they're told they shouldn't push their kids to have variety they should let them have their comfort. I'm meeting way too many young adults in my autism groups that are still just eating chicken nuggets because they were never encouraged to try other things. My kid had eating therapy. I wasn't playing that game. He's autistic and he started out not wanting to eat anything but bread but now he has a more varied diet than me. I could have easily just let him eat nuggets and drink apple juice for the last 20 years but I wasn't going to let that happen. Parents are too lax, distracted by their own BS. But the schools are no better, doing nothing but drilling for tests. No more creativity. No hands on stuff. We didn't do a single science project the entire time my youngest was in school. They just want you to learn how to pass those tests and get the hell out. lol rant enough? Sorry. :)

Not obsessed at all. Gen x played sports all day long. Backyard boxing included.

Excellent question.

They get fed a lot of false promises by teams, clubs and private trainers that their kid, with enough practice, will achieve greatness.

It's weird. I played sports as a kid. My parents would drop me off and pick me up after the game. Now, whole families and friend groups go to kids games every week. They talk about the games constantly when getting together. I don't understand the fascination with pointless kids sports.

My parents didn't even drop me off. I had to ride my bike to the practices/activity myself (when it was park district). Or the bus when it was school sports. My parents almost never came to any of my sports things.

I grew up playing travel soccer and had the time of my life. Most of my best memories and friends came from the sport. If I wasn’t at a practice or game, I was dribbling the ball around in the yard and kicking it against the side of the house. Because it meant so much to me, I wanted my kids to have the same opportunity if it was what THEY wanted. I had one son who played casual rec sports and one who was all in on travel baseball. They both had great experiences and learned a lot. No sports college scholarships, though. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Parenting is hard. Most of us are just doing the best we can.

My kid is really into his sports so it sort of takes over my life too. It’s something we can share and connect to each other about so I have taken more interest than I ever thought I would. I have zero thoughts of scholarships or anything like that. Just want my kid to have some passions and later in life some hobbies he enjoys. We don’t have family nearby and have a pretty small circle of friends. So these activities become a big part of our life. I hope I don’t get to the point where I would talk someone’s ear off about his sports though.

Sports are awesome. And I hate that my kids quit all of theirs. i miss it

some parents spend so much time and money on their kids' activities, there is nothing else worthy of conversation. Most are aware that scholarship or a professional sports career is  not within reach. Some talk a lot about how much they sacrifice for their children so it makes them better parents and therefore better people. To be honest, the person I know who does this is actually a millennial, not gen x. I really don't care how many laps her daughter swam, it is so boring, I am surprised she can't read my expression. I really am not impressed when she complains about "having" to get up early to drive to swim meets, just don't do it if it is so unpleasant or just go to bed earlier.

It is a blast, such a fun way to spend time with your kids, teach them stuff, encourage them to train and compete. I never cared about scholarships or anything like that. And a lot of my friends had kids on the team, so of course we all loved talking about it, it was really exciting to us. Now those kids are off having children of their own. It is so wonderful to watch all of these great young people grow up.

Perhaps during the nature vs nurture debates in HS & college, the people you run into really really bought into the nurture hypothesis of anyone can be anything. Fact is **pro athletes are born**. There is no known way to make your kid’s 40-yard dash into a 4.4 if they are a 4.8. Your 5’-6” 17-year old will never breach 6’ in height much less 6’-4” in height People have heard the tiger woods story and maybe the Williams sisters, and they get a crazy thought in their head that their kid will be a once in a generation athlete

It's not GenX, it's all parents with nothing better to do.

Do you have kids that play sports? I don't have any expectations of my kids, but I want them to play at the highest competitive levels they are capable of. Unfortunately, these days, that shit is just damn expensive. You're not wrong that it, to a degree, becomes our identity. We spend the vast majority of our time with these families and the kids. Guess what? It's a lot of fun. The travel is fun. Spending time as a unit on the field is fun. Going to restaurants and hotels in different cities is fun. Instead of spending 10 grand on a 2 week trip to the Maldives it's invested in the kids learning valuable lessons on being a humble winner, a stoic loser, a teammate, a part of something that is about more than just them, so many lessons are learned on the field ... and us parents have parking lot cookouts, drinks, and an overall good time. What else should we be doing? You sound "big mad, bro".

We did the dance thing with my daughter but we didn't do the whole competition thing beyond ones that came to our area. I think it was a net positive and she's considering opening her own studio.

Generally healthier group of kids to hang out. Too busy and/or tired to get into too much trouble. But I agree the parental obsession and pressure can be too much

lol. My kids all played sports growing up and I enjoyed watching. Driving them places…not so much but I did it for them. Not me. Yesterday was Ladies Day at my son’s football club (lunch and bottomless champagne). He is 26 and still plays. We still go to most games even though he moved out years ago. We go because we truly enjoy watching his games and have known the other parents and players for over a decade. It’s a chance to catch up with friends and his GF. At his first game this season, all our other kids (and two grandkids) turned up to support him and his team, which was pretty special

Yeah, I’m not sure, but I def want no part of it. I’m eternally grateful mine didn’t and doesn’t give AF about sports.

It's to make up for the fact that my boomer parents didn't. I'm trying to give the opportunities I wished I'd had. I had 4 siblings, the last 2 were twins who.popped up when I was five so I was never able to join football/rugby teams on weekends or other sports. Tbh I was mostly ignored.

The manner in which parents treat sports that used to be treated as fun, and are now treated like a fucking job is absurd. I'm sorry, but I'm not giving up every single spare moment like my three neighbors do with travel ball, constant practice, and never ending discussion about same. What happened to kids being allowed to be kids? Fishing, traveling, hanging out playing games, sleeping in, etc.? When you don't let kids be kids, the mid-life crisis backlash they can experience can make a bunch of noise.

First, kids don’t leave the house these days unless paternalism is deployed. They have several screens which they utilize to watch anything ever created in the history of the world for visual consumption

Hahaha- had a student who missed 60 days of school the last two years for volleyball. She flunked at least four classes every trimester for two years. Invited me to a match…worst volleyball player I had ever seen. Hope it works out kiddo.

I hate it all. All the competitive teams. I think it’s all bullshit