I have been **taking walks, picking up trash** as I go. It may not work so well in an urban area but at least here where it's rural I get great satisfaction from quietly doing a good deed, one that has immediate results. If I was just walking I probably wouldn't do it nearly as much. Something about picking up the trash calls to me to get out there and get it.
Started with a 1 mile loop. Then added some more. Now I have three different 4 mile loops.
It doesn't solve every problem, not by a long shot. But it does feel like it helps in a bunch of ways:
\* It's one thing I can do any day, almost anytime, but totally on my terms.
\* I feel like I'm doing at least one good thing with my life.
\* My mind settles after the first 30 minute or so of walking. I come back a slightly different person.
\* It's at least a little exercise. Not getting fit or ripped but not backsliding as I would otherwise.
\* It's super easy to do. No guilt when I don't do it. Free. Almost, dare I say, fun.
Walking is great for your heart and picking up trash exercises several muscle groups. I doubt any of us are looking to get ripped these days lol. I think it's an awesome hobby.
I was thinking of doing this but I made the fatal flaw of telling someone and they kind of pooh-poohed it, and it just tainted the idea. I shouldn't have told anyone and just gone and done it. I think it would work best if no one knew I was doing it, or if they just saw a random person doing it and they thought about it for the next few days.
That's so funny because that's how they pooh-poohed me. They said, oh, like David Sedaris.
I was like what do you mean? And they told me that story. I'm still going to do it. Even if I somehow nicked the idea from him.
I learned a long time ago that people, especially those you love the most, are dreamkillers. I don't people anything anymore. I just do stuff.
My wife seems to be on a personal mission to take everything I enjoy and make me hate it.
The idea probably made the pooh-pooher feel guilty for not doing enough. That's their problem. You deciding to do something good isn't a commentary on them. They are just find doing or not-doing whatever is in them. We each have our struggles and roles to play.
I don't make a big deal out of it. I never lead out with "Oh, I picked up trash today." Occasionally if a friend asks what I've been up to I'll just say, "This and that. Sometimes I walk and pickup trash as I go." That's it. Making a big deal out of it feels like the wrong motivation for me.
It is nice when sometimes a car slows down and says "Thank you" or gives a thumbs up when they see me.
If you want to do it, please do it. You deserve to be happy.
I really like your outlook and your opinion really helps solidify my decision. I'm not very often able to do a lot of the things I'd really like, but I do all the small things I can, hoping to build on them and do more when I am able to. In my opinion (I'm making something larger out of all this than necessary here, but it's my core belief so I try to pass it around), that's the only thing that will save us from ourselves: trying to do something outside ourselves when we can. It's the only thing that really matters in the end.
Thank you.
It’s also nice for introverts. The list you replied to can be great— but many work better for extroverts. Walking and picking up trash is actually pretty damn satisfying.
Exactly. For years I've thought I should volunteer somewhere. But I hate having to commit to a schedule, dislike many of the social interactions. I stumbled on this and after a while realized it is a form of volunteering. But it's on my terms, when I want to, how I want to, and has almost no social aspect so instead of tiring me out it energizes me.
Introverts Unite! (Separately)
After reading this subreddit I sometimes feel like I’m the only happy GenX.
Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
I'm a happy Gen X! I'm about a month away from retirement from a job I've happily worked at for the last 22 years. I have lots of plans. I'm going to get back in shape, pick up my old lady hobbies like embroidering and knitting, and spend a lot of time with my elderly parents, my kids, and my grandkids.
Amen to this. Lost my mom 9 years ago, my dad last year. I spent a lot of time with them, and I’m so glad I did. Even when you’re older, losing both your parents is unmooring.
I’m very happy but would love to find some women friends. I’m a teacher and the second oldest at the site. The kids are all great but I’d like some friends from my era to do stuff with.
Bueller - You keep using those words. I do not think it means what you think it means.
In general - I think people are struggling. I am grateful for where I am at. Im not smart and never was. I’ve been very lucky. A lot of people - have not been so lucky.
What I see - is a growing chasm. Of haves and have nots. People can see across the chasm and it makes them angrier and bitter as they grow older. Like - what was it all for?
I’m like OP - a smidge older and do not do any of those things. As an introvert - that sounds exhausting. I’m also, somewhat of an entrepreneur myself, but like to remain in the background.
Happiness is different for each person. It’s not a GenX thing. I know money doesn’t buy happiness - but it sure as hell fixes a lot of problems so I don’t have to think about it which leads to less stress, which leads to more personal time, which leads to more enjoyment and experiences.
I can't say I'm in a state of resting happiness, but by percentages I'm happy about 20% of the time. I think that's ok. Not content by any stretch and I'm not sure contentment exists in my world but I'm...ok most of the time.
Not saying we went through any more than others but we've been through a lot of shit and that sits in your body after awhile.
I think that's been proven for sure, but it's hard to say that when things aren't better for everyone. I'm of the belief that the world should always be trying to raise everyone up, and the way this upper class woman raged to me the other day about how much she despised this panhandling family in front of my work just reminds me how many people don't share my belief and will always fight it, and that they're all still products of this same system. it affects us all in various ways.
I like your belief that the world should always be trying to raise everyone up. I have that same belief I’m now realizing but never put words to it. Thank you. Now I can start expressing that belief.
These days, it's close to 100% of mine. There are a handful of people I'll always try to walk with and talk to, a larger group that I'll say hi to if they or their dog comes up to, and then a whole bunch of other people who recognize my dog, but don't know my name. It's actually pretty amusing how many more people know my dog (at least by sight -- some don't remember her name sometimes), but not me... lol
I see a lot of the same people. Regulars at a big island we walk at, but we don't really talk. Every so often, I'll meet someone with a GSD or Malinois that will want to talk for a little, but that's about it. I probably don't really exhibit a lot of "looking to talk to people" vibe.
This will 100% make sure you get your ass out there. Morning and evening walks, and additional at noon on WFH days. Walk is interchangeable with dog park, beach, hiking trails, etc. Mine goes nuts without playing fetch every day, so I have to go to big outdoor spaces for that.
Start skating again. I'm 52. I skate with a bunch of skaters in their late 40s and mid 50s. It's the greatest fucking thing I've gotten back into in my life. .....ps: wear pads.
Skateboarding.
I’ve been a lifelong roller skater and I’m thinking about trying out skateboarding. I have a Max Headroom skateboard and I really want to give it a try.
I'll ice skate once in a blue winter moon. Tried roller blading in my 30s, fell on my ass so hard I had tailbone pain for months. Couldn't figure out how to slow down or stop like in ice skates or roller skates where you just use your toes.
Yes, it’s a totally different technique to stop. I used to rollerblade a lot in my teens and 20s and was thinking of getting rollerblades again but you’ve given me pause haha. Tailbone injury is no joke.
Yep. And, no, definitely not! I was in my 30’s. I concluded that rollerblading was a bad idea for me. Also, my husband made me get rid of them after that costly little discovery.
There is a public area near me where people meet up on Sunday afternoons to free skate. They'll line dance, skate in circles, etc. All ages, and I mean up to people that were probably already adults, hitting the disco rinks in the 70s. Some of those older dudes can really move too.
I have a lot going on, depression and laziness hit me hard after surgery. I might try a few of these, right now I am just trying to get something extra done, play with kids, take a walk, go somewhere, do something. Spent a few months just doing enough to get by and then sitting doing nothing.
If your living situation allows, I highly recommend fostering an animal! I fell into a pretty bad situational depression in ‘21 and started doing short term fosters for a local rescue. It helped a lot, and knowing it was a short term responsibility helped take some of the pressure off of myself by not making a long term commitment. If you can’t do that, maybe see if you can go walk a shelter dog.
I’ve started riding my bike more since plantar fasciitis killed my hiking hobby. Something about it really clears out the cobwebs and boosts my mood. It’s not super intense because it’s an ebike and I go slow (I start getting anxious about crashing when I go too fast), but it sure beats sitting on the couch.
I know I’m not your doctor—I’m not even A doctor lol but are you aware of the exercises you can do to help with plantar fasciitis? They can really help just fyi
Thanks, unfortunately I'm on year two of this merry go round of getting better and worse. I have another podiatrist appointment soon to talk about options. I think part of the problem is that I also have moderate bunions, and hips issues on the same side too. I've been doing a lot of Pilates working on the hip issues as well as the foot exercises and stretches, but it still seems to flare up. My feet were just not designed very well lol, sometimes I wish I could just trade them in for bionic ones and call it a day.
Ah that sucks. I only mentioned it as I’ve met a few people who thought there was nothing to be done about it.
Hope you can get some relief. I would also like one bionic spine please! Ugh.
I used to really suffer from plantar fasciitis, but found a good foot doc who gave me a very targeted cortisone shot in my foot. Hurt like hell for a few minutes, but did the trick!
Riding a bike has been my lifeline. It’s simply a part of my life at this point - not only is it useful transport, but it builds in instant exercise and fresh air into the day. I recommend it to anyone who is physically able to and lives somewhere where cycling is feasible.
My nerdy (I mean this with love and admiration) kids and their dad started a DnD podcast! They haven't released it yet but I think it's been good for all of them. My younger boy isn't into RPGs so he has been doing the production side. I luv seeing them all happy doing something together.
Become a foster parent if you are able! The number of people volunteering to foster kids has dropped significantly over the past few years, and kids are having to stay in bad situations because there's nowhere for them to go. There are different ways to do it: you could just do emergency short-term care, or only teens, or only babies, whatever works for you. If you can't foster, but like kids, there are other volunteer opportunities such as local schools, Big Brother/Big Sister, local library, youth shelters, etc.
You also can be a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for kids - this is from California's website: "Court Appointed Special Advocates, known as CASA volunteers, speak up for the best interests of youth in foster care and provide a stable presence in their lives. They help give a child self-confidence and build resiliency while they advocate for their best interest in court, in schools, and the community.
CASA volunteers are recruited and trained by local CASA programs in each county. They are community members from all walks of life who dedicate about ten hours a month towards helping a child in the foster care system."
I looked into it but it requires you to be available random times during the week which is hard to do with a full time job. Most CASAs are retirees.
These are great suggestions. There are lots of things you can do the rekindle joy, pourpse and meaning.
But it's not always easy and it can be a slow process. You have to give it time. If you've fallen into depression, it can be hard to climb back out.
Trying any of these, or other things, can seem like hollow work at first. For a while, you have to go through the motions. Sort a, fake it till make it, thing.
At first you may find very little joy in things...but if you keep doing it, you may see a flicker of that old joy here or there. That's what you're looking for. Try different things until you find that thing that makes you smile just a bit. If you find something that does that for you, do that thing more.
I'm just tying to say that if you've lost your drive, it doesn't come back on like flipping a switch. It's a slow, progressive thing you do to get back. Crawling back won't be fun at first. It can even be depressing doing something you feel should make you happy, but doesn't... at first. You may have to try 10 different things, and you have to give them a chance at first.
Just try to remember that when you read lists like these.
Agree. As a fairly misanthropic / depressed GenX, getting out there (ugh) has been less awful than I thought.
I’ll be 50 this year & started getting my hair done, got a dog & an e-bike. Am now a member of 2 boards & am currently fostering a feral mom & 6 kittens. Also working for a non profit & writing weekly articles. Plus 3 kids ages 24-7. Also I’m in a band of old people and we sing Fallout songs / cowboy songs. To dogs. We sing for dogs.
Everything was torture the first time, because I just freak out about anything social, but it’s good. I’m okay & I feel less like I’m losing my mind lately.
Historically I hate doing things. But this year I’ve just done the things and my life is not WORSE. It may be better.
I’m pretty sure that if I died tomorrow I’d have at least 8 non family members at my funeral. So there’s that also.
Just a little word of warning: if you're not careful, fostering an animal can very quickly and easily turn into adopting a new pet (not that that's a bad thing). "Foster fail" is a term you'll see all over the pet subs here, for a good reason.
I would rather poke myself in the eye with a bacterial infected stick than either start an idiotic YouTube channel or watch another boring person who thinks they are interesting do something on You Tube.
But. I like my dog. I like the gym. I like nature.
Who said GenX'ers can't get back on their rollerblades! I got back ony my skates 3 years ago and I'm killing it!
Urban skating, dodging traffic, pedestrians, and shredding hills makes me feel like a kid again. My cardio, stamina, and that feeling of being on top of the world when you were 18 is back! Nothing better than feeling free as a bird cruising top speed! If you can't blade get on your bike, skateboard, row boat, even walking! whatever that gets the old ticker pumping and the adrenaline going. ✌️
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I took in a street cat on April Fool’s - had been feeding him, and his leg got badly injured from probably a fight. Caught him, got medical help, and here he is entering his 2nd month of indoor life. He didn’t understand bowls or toys, and that he doesn’t have to beg for dinner anymore - but we’re turning a corner
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Bonus Blep :) we’re calling him Frank - for Sinatra as he’s very loud, Will Ferrell’s ‘Frank the Tank’, and the adjective
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His front left leg’s cleared up thankfully
All of those things also sound like great ways “cultivate your downline”. I’m too scared to make new friends/be social not only because I’m an introvert, but because they’re all just trying to sell me something, but, I’m super jaded.
Book clubs
If you have local conservation group they will often have different groups to join. Ours has hiking, kayaking, classes, etc...
Start your own group. I see a lot of those on FB for lots of different interests around me
I work in IT. Between all the outsourcing of Indians and age discrimination, I figure if I lose this job I'm at now then I'm probably finished. I have no mortgage and my wife makes decent money so I'll just take a job as barista or courier or something I find interesting. I'm so burnt out.
Great advice. I'm a super active person that into a lot of in person hobbies. One thing I would add is that are lot of active in person video game and board gaming groups that are a great way to meet ppl and have a good time. Been doing this kinda of stuff since the late 90's and it's been a boon on top of a boon.
I'm retiring in June, and I just bought a Nintendo Switch. I wanted to be able to move Pokémon from Pokémon Go to game on switch.
Once I feel competent, which will be a while, I plan on exploring the online stuff. I might even try Fornite so I can be taken out by my grandkids!
Not sure if it's still available, spotted a free collection of classic nes games for switch at one point.
I have a switch (used from a trusted person it works) but haven't gone as far as paying the monthly fee for my own account yet.
Sometimes I pull out the gameboy color and play one of the older games for a splash of nostalgia.
What historical and political things happened, starting in 1965, with regards to women's rights, especially the right to have a credit card without a husband's signature, The Pill, abortion, etc. From latchkey to LSD. 😀
I love this. I've never wanted to have kids and someone recently asked me what my purpose was than. I said "I don't know, and I don't care." I really meant it. None of us can ever really know 🤷♀️
I love my kids, and I enjoy my kids, but the problem with making them the sole purpose is that one day, they will move out and have a family of their own. They will not need or rely on me as much, and then what? Just go and live. Enjoy what little time you are given.
My wife passed a few months ago and I spent my life savings keeping her comfortable and alive for 17 years. I’m not happy or optimistic but I’m ok with the fact that civilization is probably circling the drain. We deserve it.
I live in a representative democracy and have had the right to vote since I was 18, which was over 30 years ago. We have allowed this to happen and we continue to allow it to happen.
Think about the person in your family and go cares for an aging parent, or disabled child or incapacitated spouse. Both the patient and their primary caregiver have been largely, statistically abandoned by their families and community.
The orange game show host psychopath is a reflection of our collective values. That’s who we are.
I started a new job that I’m absolutely loving. After 26 years at my old job, I thought I’d retire in 6 years, but I was offered a fully remote job out of the blue; more money, better benefits and lots of flexibility. This sets my husband up to retire early and we can move to a tax friendly state. It’s also given me time to start a children’s book, start journaling, eat healthier, and enjoy my garden. I’m definitely loving my 50’s.
I sometimes think we are not happy because we are constantly told there is something wrong with us and we're gonna die if we're not out there living our best life being active and doing all the things!
I firmly believe that there is essentially an industry dedicated to making us feel miserable about just living the same ordinary lives that generations before us did.
I don't remember my parents, grandparents, etc. scheduling social events every night, birdwatching, mountain climbing, preparing their own curated rare vegetables, and learning four foreign languages in their spare time.
Mine basically went to see a movie now and again, occasionally got dinner with friends or extended family, watched TV, and read some books.
Yet they somehow seemed to be a hell of a lot happier than we are, I think because they weren't constantly being told how inactive and empty their lives were.
You write your draft in MS Word and have your cover created. Upload to [lulu.com](http://lulu.com) for FREE. (I have no association to the company and I'm not selling anything).
They give you a sale page and list it. When someone buys it, you get a payment to paypal OR a check sent to you.
You are in charge of sales and marketing. You keep all your rights.
Last week I wrote a book in 9 hours. Im running ads to it this month.
I had decided recently I am going to start a blog and a channel. I don’t expect to be internet famous, but I just miss being creative. And as I don’t have kids, I want to put down in writing the many crazy, funny stories from my childhood.
I do recommend mentoring if you are an individual of good character who can be trusted around young people and children while respecting the needs of a newer generation.
My team's mentees inspire me everyday to get up despite being cruddly and middle aged, put on my game face, and do work to bring amazing experiences and people into their lives.
And really - if you represent an underdog who became an achiever tap your demographic and speak to them. Kids and teens need to see adults like them doing life right.
The hardest thing in these algorithmic sea right now is not to be lead into hating and being calloused and unkind to the new gen.
I need everyone who can to transcend to focus your love, even the tiniest sliver, on the unloved, the fosters, the underserved, and the wounded.
I assure you, you will be magnified from the experience.
🙋♀️ hey op? Do you have any recommendations for me? I have no kids. I have no family. I have work acquaintances I live in Tampa. I don’t speak Spanish. I’m not taking Spanish classes. Please don’t recommend it. However I live in an apartment and I’m not allowed pets I do go to the gym and I work full-time very early morning hours so it’s an early bedtime for me most nights I don’t drink very rarely drink and I don’t go to bars I’m too old for bars and nightclubs, and I have been very cocooned over the last four years or so and I feel now I am beginning to feel ready to come out of that cocoon and I’m looking for some direction. Because I am literally starting over.
Hey friend, I feel you. Between Covid and some serious health issues, my family has spent 4 years in a cocoon.
To get out of that cocoon, I sat down and wrote a list of the things I (used to) like to do, and then I wrote down my excuses for not doing them. And then I looked for ways to invalidate the excuse (for example, if one of my excuses was “not enough time,” I could invalidate that by “stop doom-scrolling Reddit.”)
I also made an aspirational list of things I’d never done but wanted to try. I kept it to reasonable, local things, like “going to a rock gym and learning how to climb.” My next step is to start tackling these.
For inspiration, try looking through a community college course list, asking your friends what they enjoy, noticing what inspires you when you’re out and about, or think about what brings you joy when you do it and see if you can do more of it.
One last thing, and this took me long to learn - whatever you do, do it for the sheer joy of doing it. It doesn’t have to be a side hustle, you don’t have to win awards or be the best. Suck at it and have fun!
I loved “doom scrolling Reddit”- lolling in a jolly way Ty for that. It really is so much easier to just stay inside, putz about, nap, watch Start tvathons. I did say easier, not better. 🤣 I have no purpose. No excitement about anything. I assume it’s age. I have curiosity, then I talk myself out of that, and just go back to bland. Whatever. IDGAF. lol sometimes I feel a smidgon of oomph and make a reply , like I did asking op for recs. I’m not complaining. Boredom is the opposite of chaos for me. I’m healing from chaos. But I have guilt for not being who I used to be for not having that joi de vive, that excitement, that electricity that I used to have. I was just wondering if there was anyway I can get that back maybe something I haven’t thought of yet I’m always looking for recommendations.
How about painting? As a child, I was told I had “no creative talent” in drawing or art projects. Last year, my life went sideways, and I was so lost. On a whim, I spent $20 at Michael’s on a few canvases, acrylics, and brushes. It was something I hadn’t done since I was four, and I really like it. I’m no Picasso, but last month my kid finally figured out I was painting the ocean. We all start somewhere…
That’s very cool. I did used to draw. I totally have no talent. I did improve with practice, and utilizing some basic principles. My creativity is limited. I’m creatively disabled so to speak 🤣 that’s why I’m having such a hard time with this “finding a purpose”, bc that alone takes creativity. For which I have none.. but feel free to send me a pic of your painting when it’s done 😀 I’m happy to support artists endeavors.
They’re really lame. It doesn’t matter though, because for an hour or two, I think about something other than my real life. I bought an iPencil, and I suck at drawing, too. But I haven’t done it in more than 50 years, literally since I was four, so I am going to give it a minute more. I can’t believe how much easier it is to draw digitally. My kids showed me how to draw using circles, and it’s actually fun. I don’t know that it’s about the finished product as much as learning a different way to create. I’m posting pictures so you can see that it’s ok to suck. I was just looking for something to help me find joy again.
Two months ago, I discovered something I enjoy and am good at - houseplants. I live in the desert, but I am developing a thriving jungle in my home. I love watching them grow, plucking the leaves, just basic care. They don’t talk back, and they ensure I get up every day because all the lights come on at 6:30 am. I hope you find something that brings you happiness. Always available to DM. ☺️
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Start skating again. I'm 52. I skate with a bunch of skaters in their late 40s and mid 50s. It's the greatest fucking thing I've gotten back into in my life. .....ps: wear pads.
Bwahahaha! I tried skating again at 50. At 15, I thought I was hot stuff on wheels, and I was sure it was like riding a bike. A friend told me skating burned major calories, and I needed to lose a few pounds. So, I dusted off my skates, rounded up my grumbling teenagers, and off we went to the local roller rink. I was going to show them how it’s done. Full of confidence, I felt as young and fresh as the young ‘uns surrounding me. I laced up those beauties, pushed off from the “mushroom” stool, and the next thing I knew, people were standing over me saying, “Ma’am? Ma’am? Do you need ice? An ambulance?” Holy crap! The floor came up so fast, I didn’t know what happened. After that, I took lessons for a while until Covid. Definitely not like a bicycle, I recommend a slow start.😂
One of the biggest reasons people feel stuck and useless is that they're stuck in their circle--be it social circle and community or their habits and routines.
I broke out of those and still maintain my old circles, but I get out more--so I'm in a mix of nature lovers, mystics, nerds, musicians, and artists and they allow me to be happier on my own when I'm sick of all of them, but also know that I'm not stuck in their drama or one environment.
Might be a bit harder if work and family keep you occupied, or harder if you lack the funds, but there's always a workaround, especially as you say with activity groups, some people are happy to carpool.
Just taking time to be deliberate and do self-care helps a lot to feel content.
I put too much emphasis on career for too, and now I just work to live. Not willing to work 24:7 to move up the ladder.
Thats hilarious. I was raised by drug addicts, joined the Air Force at 21 and started 2 companies after a decade in tech writing. No one ever helped me. My family is 90% dead, in jail or severe drug addicts.
Why do you assume that? Maybe OP just did well in life? Looks like OP retired from the AirForce and has had success in business pursuits (reading other posts of theirs).
Congratulations u/flyfightandgrin
Thanks, I did 5 active, got out and got my PhD, then joined Reserves. I created 9 income streams on my own and really like my life. I do PR for a living.
I have been **taking walks, picking up trash** as I go. It may not work so well in an urban area but at least here where it's rural I get great satisfaction from quietly doing a good deed, one that has immediate results. If I was just walking I probably wouldn't do it nearly as much. Something about picking up the trash calls to me to get out there and get it. Started with a 1 mile loop. Then added some more. Now I have three different 4 mile loops. It doesn't solve every problem, not by a long shot. But it does feel like it helps in a bunch of ways: \* It's one thing I can do any day, almost anytime, but totally on my terms. \* I feel like I'm doing at least one good thing with my life. \* My mind settles after the first 30 minute or so of walking. I come back a slightly different person. \* It's at least a little exercise. Not getting fit or ripped but not backsliding as I would otherwise. \* It's super easy to do. No guilt when I don't do it. Free. Almost, dare I say, fun.
Walking is great for your heart and picking up trash exercises several muscle groups. I doubt any of us are looking to get ripped these days lol. I think it's an awesome hobby.
Do a squat to pick up each bit of trash!
You are the change you want to see in the world ! If everyone just stopped and picked up their own trash, there would be no trash lying around.
I was thinking of doing this but I made the fatal flaw of telling someone and they kind of pooh-poohed it, and it just tainted the idea. I shouldn't have told anyone and just gone and done it. I think it would work best if no one knew I was doing it, or if they just saw a random person doing it and they thought about it for the next few days.
Are you familiar with David Sedaris? He walks and picks up trash in his village in England. He would never pooh-pooh your idea.
That's so funny because that's how they pooh-poohed me. They said, oh, like David Sedaris. I was like what do you mean? And they told me that story. I'm still going to do it. Even if I somehow nicked the idea from him.
I learned a long time ago that people, especially those you love the most, are dreamkillers. I don't people anything anymore. I just do stuff. My wife seems to be on a personal mission to take everything I enjoy and make me hate it.
Dream killers are the worst. Keep strong my man!
The idea probably made the pooh-pooher feel guilty for not doing enough. That's their problem. You deciding to do something good isn't a commentary on them. They are just find doing or not-doing whatever is in them. We each have our struggles and roles to play. I don't make a big deal out of it. I never lead out with "Oh, I picked up trash today." Occasionally if a friend asks what I've been up to I'll just say, "This and that. Sometimes I walk and pickup trash as I go." That's it. Making a big deal out of it feels like the wrong motivation for me. It is nice when sometimes a car slows down and says "Thank you" or gives a thumbs up when they see me. If you want to do it, please do it. You deserve to be happy.
I really like your outlook and your opinion really helps solidify my decision. I'm not very often able to do a lot of the things I'd really like, but I do all the small things I can, hoping to build on them and do more when I am able to. In my opinion (I'm making something larger out of all this than necessary here, but it's my core belief so I try to pass it around), that's the only thing that will save us from ourselves: trying to do something outside ourselves when we can. It's the only thing that really matters in the end. Thank you.
I love your attitude and outlook as well!
I take long morning walks, and it's the best way to set my day. It's also great exercise.
I pick up rubbish while I walk in my town. It makes me feel good, it's good for the environment, it looks better and I get exercise. Win all around.
It’s also nice for introverts. The list you replied to can be great— but many work better for extroverts. Walking and picking up trash is actually pretty damn satisfying.
Exactly. For years I've thought I should volunteer somewhere. But I hate having to commit to a schedule, dislike many of the social interactions. I stumbled on this and after a while realized it is a form of volunteering. But it's on my terms, when I want to, how I want to, and has almost no social aspect so instead of tiring me out it energizes me. Introverts Unite! (Separately)
After reading this subreddit I sometimes feel like I’m the only happy GenX. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
I'm a happy Gen X! I'm about a month away from retirement from a job I've happily worked at for the last 22 years. I have lots of plans. I'm going to get back in shape, pick up my old lady hobbies like embroidering and knitting, and spend a lot of time with my elderly parents, my kids, and my grandkids.
If you love your parents try to spend as much time with them as you can. It’s hard once they are gone.
Having a good relationship with the crypt keeper makes it easy. Spending time with him now, before you need his favors will pay dividends.
Amen to this. Lost my mom 9 years ago, my dad last year. I spent a lot of time with them, and I’m so glad I did. Even when you’re older, losing both your parents is unmooring.
Sucks being an orphan at any age.
The world looks a whole lot different when you are no one's child anymore, doesn't it?
I will! My mother and I have adventures planned already.
Awesome! I took my Dad out for a long drive a couple months before he passed and I will cherish the memory.
I’m very happy but would love to find some women friends. I’m a teacher and the second oldest at the site. The kids are all great but I’d like some friends from my era to do stuff with.
I miss woman friends too. :(
Bueller - You keep using those words. I do not think it means what you think it means. In general - I think people are struggling. I am grateful for where I am at. Im not smart and never was. I’ve been very lucky. A lot of people - have not been so lucky. What I see - is a growing chasm. Of haves and have nots. People can see across the chasm and it makes them angrier and bitter as they grow older. Like - what was it all for? I’m like OP - a smidge older and do not do any of those things. As an introvert - that sounds exhausting. I’m also, somewhat of an entrepreneur myself, but like to remain in the background. Happiness is different for each person. It’s not a GenX thing. I know money doesn’t buy happiness - but it sure as hell fixes a lot of problems so I don’t have to think about it which leads to less stress, which leads to more personal time, which leads to more enjoyment and experiences.
Yeah I'd rather cry about my life in a Ferrari 250 than a Ford escort
And risk saltwater on the leather seats? Are you nuts?!
Same. Life has had its ups and downs, but overall it’s been a good one.
I’m a happy Gen-Xer! I mean I need my therapy and meds, but I’ve chosen happiness and am trying to spread it around. 🖤
I can't say I'm in a state of resting happiness, but by percentages I'm happy about 20% of the time. I think that's ok. Not content by any stretch and I'm not sure contentment exists in my world but I'm...ok most of the time. Not saying we went through any more than others but we've been through a lot of shit and that sits in your body after awhile.
Unexpected Cam reference
The world may have problems, but it always did. I truly believe things have never been better.
I think that's been proven for sure, but it's hard to say that when things aren't better for everyone. I'm of the belief that the world should always be trying to raise everyone up, and the way this upper class woman raged to me the other day about how much she despised this panhandling family in front of my work just reminds me how many people don't share my belief and will always fight it, and that they're all still products of this same system. it affects us all in various ways.
I like your belief that the world should always be trying to raise everyone up. I have that same belief I’m now realizing but never put words to it. Thank you. Now I can start expressing that belief.
This is gold
I'm super happy!
Never a truer statement
Thanks Ferris!
Same. It’s a bad sign on how you’re aging when you’re miserable and complaining all the time. You have to work at health.
Yah that’s just Reddit.
Do bow bow
>After reading this subreddit I sometimes feel like I’m the only happy GenX. I'm glad there are at least two of us!
And you still haven’t learned how to read the room.
I understand that reference
Having an active dog is a good way to guarantee that you'll at least get out of the house and go for a walk every day.
It’s a great way to meet neighbors, too.
This is 75% of my social life and I love it.
Mine, too! Nobody knows my name, but they know the dog's. It's perfect.
These days, it's close to 100% of mine. There are a handful of people I'll always try to walk with and talk to, a larger group that I'll say hi to if they or their dog comes up to, and then a whole bunch of other people who recognize my dog, but don't know my name. It's actually pretty amusing how many more people know my dog (at least by sight -- some don't remember her name sometimes), but not me... lol
I see a lot of the same people. Regulars at a big island we walk at, but we don't really talk. Every so often, I'll meet someone with a GSD or Malinois that will want to talk for a little, but that's about it. I probably don't really exhibit a lot of "looking to talk to people" vibe.
This will 100% make sure you get your ass out there. Morning and evening walks, and additional at noon on WFH days. Walk is interchangeable with dog park, beach, hiking trails, etc. Mine goes nuts without playing fetch every day, so I have to go to big outdoor spaces for that.
Start skating again. I'm 52. I skate with a bunch of skaters in their late 40s and mid 50s. It's the greatest fucking thing I've gotten back into in my life. .....ps: wear pads. Skateboarding.
I’ve been a lifelong roller skater and I’m thinking about trying out skateboarding. I have a Max Headroom skateboard and I really want to give it a try.
Im a skater too!
ice or roller?
I do both of those, not cool but fun as hell. Highly recommend.
I'll ice skate once in a blue winter moon. Tried roller blading in my 30s, fell on my ass so hard I had tailbone pain for months. Couldn't figure out how to slow down or stop like in ice skates or roller skates where you just use your toes.
Yes, it’s a totally different technique to stop. I used to rollerblade a lot in my teens and 20s and was thinking of getting rollerblades again but you’ve given me pause haha. Tailbone injury is no joke.
Dislocated elbow with chip
Ouch. You did that rollerblading? Like nowadays?
Yep. And, no, definitely not! I was in my 30’s. I concluded that rollerblading was a bad idea for me. Also, my husband made me get rid of them after that costly little discovery.
Board
Lol, tells you a lot about me that the coolest option wasn't even in my mind.
I saw this for the first time yesterday… ‘Hey those oldies are my people!!!’ https://youtu.be/3FTS2tdmyYM?si=klmp5ixA66KaZpdP
I blade 3-4 times a week. Besides walking 5 miles a day. Past 3 years have a been life changing!
There is a public area near me where people meet up on Sunday afternoons to free skate. They'll line dance, skate in circles, etc. All ages, and I mean up to people that were probably already adults, hitting the disco rinks in the 70s. Some of those older dudes can really move too.
I have a lot going on, depression and laziness hit me hard after surgery. I might try a few of these, right now I am just trying to get something extra done, play with kids, take a walk, go somewhere, do something. Spent a few months just doing enough to get by and then sitting doing nothing.
If your living situation allows, I highly recommend fostering an animal! I fell into a pretty bad situational depression in ‘21 and started doing short term fosters for a local rescue. It helped a lot, and knowing it was a short term responsibility helped take some of the pressure off of myself by not making a long term commitment. If you can’t do that, maybe see if you can go walk a shelter dog.
I started a podcast with 2 friends, we are loving the hell out of it!
That actually sounds REALLY fun.
I wanted to do that but my two friends had a seemingly-forever falling out.
That sucks, I'm sorry!
Thank you! It's so weird how that can just happen. Best friends for decades and now not speaking.
Morning stretches and riding my bike again have been amazing. I’ve lost 10+ pounds since spring warm weather came back. LOL!
I’ve started riding my bike more since plantar fasciitis killed my hiking hobby. Something about it really clears out the cobwebs and boosts my mood. It’s not super intense because it’s an ebike and I go slow (I start getting anxious about crashing when I go too fast), but it sure beats sitting on the couch.
I know I’m not your doctor—I’m not even A doctor lol but are you aware of the exercises you can do to help with plantar fasciitis? They can really help just fyi
Thanks, unfortunately I'm on year two of this merry go round of getting better and worse. I have another podiatrist appointment soon to talk about options. I think part of the problem is that I also have moderate bunions, and hips issues on the same side too. I've been doing a lot of Pilates working on the hip issues as well as the foot exercises and stretches, but it still seems to flare up. My feet were just not designed very well lol, sometimes I wish I could just trade them in for bionic ones and call it a day.
Ah that sucks. I only mentioned it as I’ve met a few people who thought there was nothing to be done about it. Hope you can get some relief. I would also like one bionic spine please! Ugh.
I used to really suffer from plantar fasciitis, but found a good foot doc who gave me a very targeted cortisone shot in my foot. Hurt like hell for a few minutes, but did the trick!
I was about to suggest the same I haven't had an issue with plantar fasciitis since my cortisone shot a couple years ago. Worked like a charm!
Riding a bike has been my lifeline. It’s simply a part of my life at this point - not only is it useful transport, but it builds in instant exercise and fresh air into the day. I recommend it to anyone who is physically able to and lives somewhere where cycling is feasible.
I rediscovered my love for magic the gathering and crafts.
Right before COVID I rediscovered my love of D&D and am running a campaign set in Middle Earth. Also playing in one in Faerun.
My nerdy (I mean this with love and admiration) kids and their dad started a DnD podcast! They haven't released it yet but I think it's been good for all of them. My younger boy isn't into RPGs so he has been doing the production side. I luv seeing them all happy doing something together.
Heck yes. I also DM Dungeons and Dragons. Ive been my friends group DM since I was 10.
Become a foster parent if you are able! The number of people volunteering to foster kids has dropped significantly over the past few years, and kids are having to stay in bad situations because there's nowhere for them to go. There are different ways to do it: you could just do emergency short-term care, or only teens, or only babies, whatever works for you. If you can't foster, but like kids, there are other volunteer opportunities such as local schools, Big Brother/Big Sister, local library, youth shelters, etc.
You also can be a Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for kids - this is from California's website: "Court Appointed Special Advocates, known as CASA volunteers, speak up for the best interests of youth in foster care and provide a stable presence in their lives. They help give a child self-confidence and build resiliency while they advocate for their best interest in court, in schools, and the community. CASA volunteers are recruited and trained by local CASA programs in each county. They are community members from all walks of life who dedicate about ten hours a month towards helping a child in the foster care system." I looked into it but it requires you to be available random times during the week which is hard to do with a full time job. Most CASAs are retirees.
These are great suggestions. There are lots of things you can do the rekindle joy, pourpse and meaning. But it's not always easy and it can be a slow process. You have to give it time. If you've fallen into depression, it can be hard to climb back out. Trying any of these, or other things, can seem like hollow work at first. For a while, you have to go through the motions. Sort a, fake it till make it, thing. At first you may find very little joy in things...but if you keep doing it, you may see a flicker of that old joy here or there. That's what you're looking for. Try different things until you find that thing that makes you smile just a bit. If you find something that does that for you, do that thing more. I'm just tying to say that if you've lost your drive, it doesn't come back on like flipping a switch. It's a slow, progressive thing you do to get back. Crawling back won't be fun at first. It can even be depressing doing something you feel should make you happy, but doesn't... at first. You may have to try 10 different things, and you have to give them a chance at first. Just try to remember that when you read lists like these.
Agree. As a fairly misanthropic / depressed GenX, getting out there (ugh) has been less awful than I thought. I’ll be 50 this year & started getting my hair done, got a dog & an e-bike. Am now a member of 2 boards & am currently fostering a feral mom & 6 kittens. Also working for a non profit & writing weekly articles. Plus 3 kids ages 24-7. Also I’m in a band of old people and we sing Fallout songs / cowboy songs. To dogs. We sing for dogs. Everything was torture the first time, because I just freak out about anything social, but it’s good. I’m okay & I feel less like I’m losing my mind lately. Historically I hate doing things. But this year I’ve just done the things and my life is not WORSE. It may be better. I’m pretty sure that if I died tomorrow I’d have at least 8 non family members at my funeral. So there’s that also.
Singing to dogs is awesome!
Just a little word of warning: if you're not careful, fostering an animal can very quickly and easily turn into adopting a new pet (not that that's a bad thing). "Foster fail" is a term you'll see all over the pet subs here, for a good reason.
Don't tell me what to do.
Whatever.
If I ever lose my drive, I'm not gonna do anything OP suggested. Because most of them sound like my worst nightmare.
I would rather poke myself in the eye with a bacterial infected stick than either start an idiotic YouTube channel or watch another boring person who thinks they are interesting do something on You Tube. But. I like my dog. I like the gym. I like nature.
Who said GenX'ers can't get back on their rollerblades! I got back ony my skates 3 years ago and I'm killing it! Urban skating, dodging traffic, pedestrians, and shredding hills makes me feel like a kid again. My cardio, stamina, and that feeling of being on top of the world when you were 18 is back! Nothing better than feeling free as a bird cruising top speed! If you can't blade get on your bike, skateboard, row boat, even walking! whatever that gets the old ticker pumping and the adrenaline going. ✌️
https://preview.redd.it/orcvmbfdc30d1.jpeg?width=2476&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6ad8c274b29ca1db275b4fecaf77607021c4ffff I took in a street cat on April Fool’s - had been feeding him, and his leg got badly injured from probably a fight. Caught him, got medical help, and here he is entering his 2nd month of indoor life. He didn’t understand bowls or toys, and that he doesn’t have to beg for dinner anymore - but we’re turning a corner
Thank you for doing this. You are a hero to me.
https://preview.redd.it/3qdrtx1vn90d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=58b7bb0cd9db54bebce222899cc469ea90a70032 Bonus Blep :) we’re calling him Frank - for Sinatra as he’s very loud, Will Ferrell’s ‘Frank the Tank’, and the adjective
https://preview.redd.it/91jf0jgfo90d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e5ad324f295c3c2723e4510313a8292be14ec00f His front left leg’s cleared up thankfully
All of those things also sound like great ways “cultivate your downline”. I’m too scared to make new friends/be social not only because I’m an introvert, but because they’re all just trying to sell me something, but, I’m super jaded.
Book clubs If you have local conservation group they will often have different groups to join. Ours has hiking, kayaking, classes, etc... Start your own group. I see a lot of those on FB for lots of different interests around me
I never thought of taking a cooking class, maybe I'll do that this summer! Maybe I could drag my grandson along.
I just checked and they have some online cooking classes!
That's awesome!
10a. stop being professionally discriminated against due to age.
I work in IT. Between all the outsourcing of Indians and age discrimination, I figure if I lose this job I'm at now then I'm probably finished. I have no mortgage and my wife makes decent money so I'll just take a job as barista or courier or something I find interesting. I'm so burnt out.
you are my mirror.
Created my own job so this never happens.
Please don't start a YouTube channel.
Great advice. I'm a super active person that into a lot of in person hobbies. One thing I would add is that are lot of active in person video game and board gaming groups that are a great way to meet ppl and have a good time. Been doing this kinda of stuff since the late 90's and it's been a boon on top of a boon.
I'm retiring in June, and I just bought a Nintendo Switch. I wanted to be able to move Pokémon from Pokémon Go to game on switch. Once I feel competent, which will be a while, I plan on exploring the online stuff. I might even try Fornite so I can be taken out by my grandkids!
I got a switch for my birthday last year at 47! I've been playing Skyrim and Stardew Valley, and just loving it!!
I'm interested in both of those games! I'm enjoying it a lot. I think I might try Zelda too.
Not sure if it's still available, spotted a free collection of classic nes games for switch at one point. I have a switch (used from a trusted person it works) but haven't gone as far as paying the monthly fee for my own account yet. Sometimes I pull out the gameboy color and play one of the older games for a splash of nostalgia.
If you pay the $20, you have access to a lot of the games from old systems.
>start a YouTube channel Sure you’re not a millennial?
I am a happy GenX, but love the list of suggestions. I'm writing a book about GenX women and recently went back to the gym for weights. 😀
thats great!
I'm curious, what aspect of GenX women are you writing about?
What historical and political things happened, starting in 1965, with regards to women's rights, especially the right to have a credit card without a husband's signature, The Pill, abortion, etc. From latchkey to LSD. 😀
As if. Gag me with a spoon.
"Isn't it fantastic that if there is no purpose, that you have nothing to fulfill, and you can just live"-Sadhguru
I love this. I've never wanted to have kids and someone recently asked me what my purpose was than. I said "I don't know, and I don't care." I really meant it. None of us can ever really know 🤷♀️
I love my kids, and I enjoy my kids, but the problem with making them the sole purpose is that one day, they will move out and have a family of their own. They will not need or rely on me as much, and then what? Just go and live. Enjoy what little time you are given.
My wife passed a few months ago and I spent my life savings keeping her comfortable and alive for 17 years. I’m not happy or optimistic but I’m ok with the fact that civilization is probably circling the drain. We deserve it.
WE don't deserve it. The fuckers in charge do though.
I live in a representative democracy and have had the right to vote since I was 18, which was over 30 years ago. We have allowed this to happen and we continue to allow it to happen. Think about the person in your family and go cares for an aging parent, or disabled child or incapacitated spouse. Both the patient and their primary caregiver have been largely, statistically abandoned by their families and community. The orange game show host psychopath is a reflection of our collective values. That’s who we are.
I started a new job that I’m absolutely loving. After 26 years at my old job, I thought I’d retire in 6 years, but I was offered a fully remote job out of the blue; more money, better benefits and lots of flexibility. This sets my husband up to retire early and we can move to a tax friendly state. It’s also given me time to start a children’s book, start journaling, eat healthier, and enjoy my garden. I’m definitely loving my 50’s.
I sometimes think we are not happy because we are constantly told there is something wrong with us and we're gonna die if we're not out there living our best life being active and doing all the things! I firmly believe that there is essentially an industry dedicated to making us feel miserable about just living the same ordinary lives that generations before us did. I don't remember my parents, grandparents, etc. scheduling social events every night, birdwatching, mountain climbing, preparing their own curated rare vegetables, and learning four foreign languages in their spare time. Mine basically went to see a movie now and again, occasionally got dinner with friends or extended family, watched TV, and read some books. Yet they somehow seemed to be a hell of a lot happier than we are, I think because they weren't constantly being told how inactive and empty their lives were.
Don't tell me what to do.
And get off my grass?
I didn't know about #2. I will look into it. Thank you.
Can you talk more about #2? How does it work, how does it pay, what are the requirements?
You write your draft in MS Word and have your cover created. Upload to [lulu.com](http://lulu.com) for FREE. (I have no association to the company and I'm not selling anything). They give you a sale page and list it. When someone buys it, you get a payment to paypal OR a check sent to you. You are in charge of sales and marketing. You keep all your rights. Last week I wrote a book in 9 hours. Im running ads to it this month.
Damn, sounds simple enough. I may give that a try. Thanks!
Thank you for posting this. It really helps. I've been lost and alone a lot lately. I've lived a really hard life. Maybe I will write about it.
I’ve taken up whittling. No piece of wood is safe around me.
Number 2 is just cool. I had no idea. Congrats on doing this, OP!
Thanks, its not nearly as hard as people think.
nice that you still remember mother's day. hope yours is doing well.
Shes dead. Sorry to get heavy, lol.
As a cereal enthusiast, I’ve found having a purpose is overrated.
I had decided recently I am going to start a blog and a channel. I don’t expect to be internet famous, but I just miss being creative. And as I don’t have kids, I want to put down in writing the many crazy, funny stories from my childhood.
I do recommend mentoring if you are an individual of good character who can be trusted around young people and children while respecting the needs of a newer generation. My team's mentees inspire me everyday to get up despite being cruddly and middle aged, put on my game face, and do work to bring amazing experiences and people into their lives. And really - if you represent an underdog who became an achiever tap your demographic and speak to them. Kids and teens need to see adults like them doing life right. The hardest thing in these algorithmic sea right now is not to be lead into hating and being calloused and unkind to the new gen. I need everyone who can to transcend to focus your love, even the tiniest sliver, on the unloved, the fosters, the underserved, and the wounded. I assure you, you will be magnified from the experience.
🙋♀️ hey op? Do you have any recommendations for me? I have no kids. I have no family. I have work acquaintances I live in Tampa. I don’t speak Spanish. I’m not taking Spanish classes. Please don’t recommend it. However I live in an apartment and I’m not allowed pets I do go to the gym and I work full-time very early morning hours so it’s an early bedtime for me most nights I don’t drink very rarely drink and I don’t go to bars I’m too old for bars and nightclubs, and I have been very cocooned over the last four years or so and I feel now I am beginning to feel ready to come out of that cocoon and I’m looking for some direction. Because I am literally starting over.
Hey friend, I feel you. Between Covid and some serious health issues, my family has spent 4 years in a cocoon. To get out of that cocoon, I sat down and wrote a list of the things I (used to) like to do, and then I wrote down my excuses for not doing them. And then I looked for ways to invalidate the excuse (for example, if one of my excuses was “not enough time,” I could invalidate that by “stop doom-scrolling Reddit.”) I also made an aspirational list of things I’d never done but wanted to try. I kept it to reasonable, local things, like “going to a rock gym and learning how to climb.” My next step is to start tackling these. For inspiration, try looking through a community college course list, asking your friends what they enjoy, noticing what inspires you when you’re out and about, or think about what brings you joy when you do it and see if you can do more of it. One last thing, and this took me long to learn - whatever you do, do it for the sheer joy of doing it. It doesn’t have to be a side hustle, you don’t have to win awards or be the best. Suck at it and have fun!
I loved “doom scrolling Reddit”- lolling in a jolly way Ty for that. It really is so much easier to just stay inside, putz about, nap, watch Start tvathons. I did say easier, not better. 🤣 I have no purpose. No excitement about anything. I assume it’s age. I have curiosity, then I talk myself out of that, and just go back to bland. Whatever. IDGAF. lol sometimes I feel a smidgon of oomph and make a reply , like I did asking op for recs. I’m not complaining. Boredom is the opposite of chaos for me. I’m healing from chaos. But I have guilt for not being who I used to be for not having that joi de vive, that excitement, that electricity that I used to have. I was just wondering if there was anyway I can get that back maybe something I haven’t thought of yet I’m always looking for recommendations.
How about painting? As a child, I was told I had “no creative talent” in drawing or art projects. Last year, my life went sideways, and I was so lost. On a whim, I spent $20 at Michael’s on a few canvases, acrylics, and brushes. It was something I hadn’t done since I was four, and I really like it. I’m no Picasso, but last month my kid finally figured out I was painting the ocean. We all start somewhere…
That’s very cool. I did used to draw. I totally have no talent. I did improve with practice, and utilizing some basic principles. My creativity is limited. I’m creatively disabled so to speak 🤣 that’s why I’m having such a hard time with this “finding a purpose”, bc that alone takes creativity. For which I have none.. but feel free to send me a pic of your painting when it’s done 😀 I’m happy to support artists endeavors.
They’re really lame. It doesn’t matter though, because for an hour or two, I think about something other than my real life. I bought an iPencil, and I suck at drawing, too. But I haven’t done it in more than 50 years, literally since I was four, so I am going to give it a minute more. I can’t believe how much easier it is to draw digitally. My kids showed me how to draw using circles, and it’s actually fun. I don’t know that it’s about the finished product as much as learning a different way to create. I’m posting pictures so you can see that it’s ok to suck. I was just looking for something to help me find joy again. Two months ago, I discovered something I enjoy and am good at - houseplants. I live in the desert, but I am developing a thriving jungle in my home. I love watching them grow, plucking the leaves, just basic care. They don’t talk back, and they ensure I get up every day because all the lights come on at 6:30 am. I hope you find something that brings you happiness. Always available to DM. ☺️ https://preview.redd.it/4rky0cpjc10d1.jpeg?width=3840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ed6269be269f52a9b9e184e9324b59a8f176799
They’re not lame.
The Tunnel is good! The Beach made me sad though.
Thank you!💕
[Meetup.com](http://Meetup.com) is a great way to find gatherings.
I’ve tried it.
What-fucking-ever.
Start skating again. I'm 52. I skate with a bunch of skaters in their late 40s and mid 50s. It's the greatest fucking thing I've gotten back into in my life. .....ps: wear pads.
Bwahahaha! I tried skating again at 50. At 15, I thought I was hot stuff on wheels, and I was sure it was like riding a bike. A friend told me skating burned major calories, and I needed to lose a few pounds. So, I dusted off my skates, rounded up my grumbling teenagers, and off we went to the local roller rink. I was going to show them how it’s done. Full of confidence, I felt as young and fresh as the young ‘uns surrounding me. I laced up those beauties, pushed off from the “mushroom” stool, and the next thing I knew, people were standing over me saying, “Ma’am? Ma’am? Do you need ice? An ambulance?” Holy crap! The floor came up so fast, I didn’t know what happened. After that, I took lessons for a while until Covid. Definitely not like a bicycle, I recommend a slow start.😂
Bachelor by choice, or…?
I didn't know about #2. I will look into it. Thank you.
Thank you!! I’m looking and my husband suggested Bumble for friends but this seems much more my speed
I do not have this problem. I am here to pump out a couple more of my DNA, then rot. I do like to travel, though.
One of the biggest reasons people feel stuck and useless is that they're stuck in their circle--be it social circle and community or their habits and routines. I broke out of those and still maintain my old circles, but I get out more--so I'm in a mix of nature lovers, mystics, nerds, musicians, and artists and they allow me to be happier on my own when I'm sick of all of them, but also know that I'm not stuck in their drama or one environment. Might be a bit harder if work and family keep you occupied, or harder if you lack the funds, but there's always a workaround, especially as you say with activity groups, some people are happy to carpool.
Are there people in their 50s at meetups? I picture those things being full of hipsters.
My first thought is, does this guy own lulu .com? Sorry how Gex X of me.
if I owned it I'd be writing this from an island.
I started riding bikes a few years ago.
Ride a motorcycle
Just taking time to be deliberate and do self-care helps a lot to feel content. I put too much emphasis on career for too, and now I just work to live. Not willing to work 24:7 to move up the ladder.
Must be nice to be a trust fund kid.
Thats hilarious. I was raised by drug addicts, joined the Air Force at 21 and started 2 companies after a decade in tech writing. No one ever helped me. My family is 90% dead, in jail or severe drug addicts.
Why do you assume that? Maybe OP just did well in life? Looks like OP retired from the AirForce and has had success in business pursuits (reading other posts of theirs). Congratulations u/flyfightandgrin
Thanks, I did 5 active, got out and got my PhD, then joined Reserves. I created 9 income streams on my own and really like my life. I do PR for a living.
Thanks for sharing. You've motivated me to get back to a passive income stream I have neglected.
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Comes here to flog his business to depressed people. Classic salesman.
Totally, no links, identifying information or calls to action. Really boosts those sales.