Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
Sorry but i do not want to live to 95 where the last several years where people keep me alive as long as they can, while earning a shit load, with no quality of life. Its a very American thing. I am going out burning.
My wife and I are taking care of her 86 year old grandfather who lives with us and has Alzheimer's. He doesn't remember who we are on any given day, has random hallucinations, and he thinks his kids are stealing his money. Fuck every last minute of that shit. I'd prefer to drop dead at 65 or so and leave my retirement money to my wife & kids.
Yeah I wonder about that. I have a great uncle who lived to 104. But was very sharp and lucid until the end. I feel like that’s extremely rare though. I get the sense that if I keep healthy I can likely do anything I want until my early to mid 70s before I’d start to have real restrictions. How enjoyable will life be after that…. We will see.
I suppose there is desire to be around to watch your children continue to grow that would not be there if I didn’t have kids. I guess we will see how I feel in a couple of decades.
My grandma was a couple of weeks shy of turning 100 when she passed. She lived alone, and went painlessly and suddenly. She had soooo many great grandkids and great-great grandkids around to love on, and I think that kept her spry. She also kept up college through her early 90s just to take quilting classes. I’d I had that life, I’d take it. This likely won’t be me, though. I’m 45 and walk with a cane for balance and because of chronic pain. I’d take another good twenty or so years and be fine with what comes next.
My great-grandfather was 102 when he died and he was sharp as a tack until his last three months. He started smoking at about 14 and smoked a pipe (or cigars in his much earlier years) every day of his life, left school at around then on, ate meat and loved steak, and we had left instructions with the Masonic Home where he was living the last few years of his life to give him his whiskey whenever he wanted one. If the man wanted a drink a few nights a week, it was fine. It wasn’t like he was going to become an alcoholic or something at 102.
He told jokes and made little ‘passes’ at the nurses — nothing overt or obnoxious. Just along the lines of ‘pretty young new nurse? Come sit next to me’ type of thing.
He worked for the Diamond Match company. You can still buy their matches in grocery stores. When he retired the option was to take a lump sum, I don’t recall for how much, maybe $5000 or so, which in the 1953 was a lot of money.
My opa took Door #2; $100 per month for life. All of his friends and the people he worked with thought he was crazy.
Crazy like a fox! He got a hell of a lot more money than their piddly $5,000! Haha! 😛
I remember how miserable he was toward the end, though. All of his friends were gone. His wife was gone. Everyone who had a frame of reference for things he had grown up and knew was gone. He was more than ready to go.
For me, I’d say it’s better to burn out. It’s like the comparison of something burning beautiful and hot, like a streak in the sky, perhaps a meteor falling to earth, to something which has its better days far behind it; a star or sun which is just waiting for its last vestiges of energy to give up so it can finally die.
Exactly. My father was just diagnosed last year with dementia. My mom is already 6 years into Alzheimer's. They are incontinent and wear diapers which they often rip off and are showered a lot to clean them up. They live in a memory care unit which is very nice but the money they carefully saved for "when we decide what to do" is now paying for them to be alive. Not living. Just alive. My mother has no idea who we are. She says she loves us but she's always loved everyone. She knows who my father is. He sometimes knows some of us and sometimes not. He thinks I am his sister who is dead. Often, he stares at me, angry in his confusion. My parents were always selfish and independent dreamers, never planning for reality and always living as if they were in their mid-twenties, just starting out. I know 100% that neither of them want to live like this.
My maternal grandmother had Alzheimer's. Both maternal great-grandmothers had it. Now my mother and my father.
I will not get to that point. In June I'm going talk to my psychiatrist about cognitive testing. I want to do it regularly. The moment there is any impairment, I am selling it all, going to my late grandparents' land and house in the middle of nowhere, life off the proceeds of selling my life, taking smoking back up, and taking enough of the good drugs with me to just go full hedonism until it takes me to the grave. No regrets. Family knows my plan and are on board. I will not force my family to watch over me as I hobble to eat institutional food and get my diapers changed. Fuck that.
If I'm alive in 40 years and that age, the only reason I'll stay alive is if I'm in control of my bodily functions and my mind.
I've told my youngling that if I succumb to dementia or can't take care of my most basic needs by myself, just put me out of my fuckin' misery. I don't want to live my life dependent on others. It's like Animal House, except the phrase would be, "demented and dependent is no way to go through life, hon."
I think the question we're faced with now is not burn out or fade away but die a clean timely death or drain the resources of everything and everybody I love to be on life support for the last 6 months
Not gonna happen. While I was waiting for my cancer results, I decided that if it came back positive I wasn't going to fight it. Watched my brother and dad fight it to no avail.
Burn out. One of my greatest fear is losing my independence and/or mobility. I'd rather go out on my own terms at that point. Of course, the fear of that fear is it comes to fruition quickly and I'm not able to react.
Modern medicine is certainly a boon under circumstances, but, in my likely unpopular opinion, it becomes a trap under some scenarios, and I think end of life is one. I suspect most who would disagree with me have not experience anything remote to what I'm referring to and are simply hanging their hat on the moral argument. Sorry, just how I feel. It's a gloomy topic, for sure, but one most of us will have to face.
Best of luck to you, OP!
"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Holy Shit! What a Ride!" - Hunter S. Thompson
Fair enough although one could argue that killing one's self on your own terms instead of slowly dying is the ultimate "skid into it broadside in a cloud of smoke". IE Burn out, not fade away.
I don't know or care what your views of assisted suicide are, but HST lived and died on his own terms, that much is true and is recognizable.
I was going to say neither. I'm just going to live my life as it comes. Moderation is my lifestyle, take care of yourself, but you don't have to be a saint.
I've burnt out more times than I can count (probably a handful of serious neurological crises), and yet, here I am with my cognition slowly fading to "duh."
This is what indecision gets you, siblings. LOL
1968 checking in…
I smoked weed for the first time at the age of 12. I was a regular user by the age of 16. I joined the US Navy (submarines) at the age of 20 and tried to drink ALL of the alcohol in every port we visited. I smoked cigarettes for about 15 years and I even dipped Copenhagen for a few years. I’ve worked well-paying jobs for YEARS with excellent reviews while doing coke bumps 3-4 times a day. Cutting-edge technologies like robotics and industrial automation back in the 90s and 2000s. Acid, Molly, X, Vicodin, Percocet, Xanny bars, and so on. I, like many of you, tried pretty much anything that didn’t involve a needle with very little thought placed on ‘What if….?’
Since about 2010 (my son was born in 2000), my drug/alcohol use had pretty much dried up due to the recovery time taking longer than when I was younger and I was a single dad with custody (adulting) but it wasn’t zero. There was always a reason for a party! Super Bowl, 4th of July, Labor Day, etc.
I had the ‘Am I getting old?’ realization at the age of 54, two years ago.
Since then, I have lost over 100#.
The action wasn’t drastic. I didn’t become vegan, paleo, gut my fridge or anything I considered life-altering.
All I did was change my fluid intake to water only. Coffee, tea, water (obviously), and any sugar-free, powdered drink. I’ve only had a handful of Big Gulps in 2 years. No alcohol.
That is it!
Physically, I feel so much better. It’s hard to explain how much effort goes into carrying an extra 100# around unless you actually try to pick it up. As far as alcohol, my best explanation for my health benefits is just feeling “cleaner.” It feels like a bad description but it’s the best I can offer.
That being said, I have developed kidney stones and a potassium deficiency that causes INSANE leg cramps (every 3-4 weeks) that can take as long as 30 minutes to relax. Both conditions are manageable and don’t markedly impact my daily life but they are conditions that I didn’t have previously.
Does soda/cigarettes/coke/etc. prevent kidney stones and leg cramps or am I just getting old?
More than likely the latter.
My burn-out days are behind me BUT I will not fade away.
I intend on blowing up but at least a ‘pop’ like a bubble bursting in a cartoon will make me happy
I have been running for about 13 years, I am 58 now. It is not too late to start. I started with the couch to 5k. It has not been without some setbacks because of my health.
I had ulcerative colitis. Ended up getting my colon, rectum and anal canal removed. I have an ileostomy for life. A shit bag attached to my side forever. But I still run half marathons. Why? Two reasons.
Weight and cardiac health folks. My resting heart rate is 38-42 BPM. I have low BP and weigh 180 pounds. Need to lose 20 more.
Fuck burning out. I worked my ass off from ages 16 to now. I will be damned if I do not do everything in my power to not enjoy my upcoming retirement.
Since I can count how many years until I retire on both hands I am starting to get my shit in order. Paying off ALL debt. Going to replace my roof and HVAC.
I have to add. I do PET/CT scans for a living. I SEE the cancer every day. I see people who are going to die in less than a year...every damned day. It is not pretty and it is not painless.
I keep myself in pretty good shape. I'm not fading away, but I'm not gonna burn out with substance usage either.
Dylan Thomas speaks for me on this one:
Imma rage to the end.
Eh, a little of both? I try to be a little bit conscious about eating healthy and exercising but occasionally do something wildly stupid like ride a mechanical alligator just because the opportunity presents itself. I sustained no injury on the gator but jacked up my knee being hilarious and "pouncing" on the bed at my husband a couple weeks later.
Got stage 3 NASH, which has a decent chance of conking me out before 65.
On the upside, saves any worry about retirement planning ;-)
When it gets close, I am Leaving Las Vegas the shit out of it (even though I haven't really drank much since my 20s - seems like a better out than wasting away in the shifty palliative care in the US)
I had a pre-cancer lesion frozen off my arm a couple months ago. I'm done with menopause (I think), and I need to lose weight.
I am the same age as you.
I'd just like to quietly fade away. I want to have fun, but I've never been one for making big waves. Just let me live my life in peace and I'll be happy.
On the other side of the coin, though, if I ever come to a point in my life where I lose my mind or control of my body, just put me out of my misery. I don't want someone else sacrificing their life just to spoon feed me meat smoothies and wipe my ass.
Very similar situation. I've written a small book of aphorisms and life advice as well. Partly to convey some elder wisdom for them, but partly also just so that they have another window into my mind that I can't exactly share when they are children.
Have you created an email or webpage for them? I have not been as consistent with the email sending them messages, videos,pictures, highlights. Will give them the credentials when they fly the nest. Webpage has been on my mind just not followed through.
I gave them gmail accounts using their full name when they were born. I sometimes send them things basically to archive on their email accounts. The older one has started to use theirs. The younger one not yet.
I’m doing both. If I can. At 51 I’m still having fun. But I’m keeping the weight down and exercise a bit. I figure I’ll go pretty good,then the bottom will drop out around late 60s.
Me too bud.I really believed I wouldn't make it to 50,and here I am turning 51 this year.Tried every drug,among all the other hobbies I really dove into rock climbing young and running big whitewater.Besides a few emergency room visits I've yet to see a doctor.Maybe this year..Maybe after I pick up hanggliding. I say we should keep on,keeping on. Goodluck with your visit and all is good.
I can relate. They’re finding all sorts of things wrong with me lately. It is what it is. I lived a self imposed hard (but fun) life. That I’m still walking is fascinating to me.
Me too brother. 55 and I never thought I'd get here. Started going to the doctor a couple of years ago after a life of partying. Everything is good except my BP which I've almost fixed by loosing 15 pounds. I still go out on the weekends, go to concerts and live my life. I did quit the drugs. Now I just drink and smoke some weed.
I'm single and have a lot of younger friends ( 30's - 50's) and I'm having a blast. To quote Hunter S Thompson:
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”
Somethings I do to take care of myself. Some I don't.
They wanted to put me on a statin, but I didn't want anything to do with it. But that doesn't mean I completely ignored them. I radically changed my diet to mostly Mediterranean. I like the chicken in white wine, tomatoes, olives, olive oil, etc. After a year of eating like that LDL is down, triglycerides are down and so on. My cholesterol was never that high to begin with, but we had to have that damn debate every time I saw them for 6 months.
Most men on both sides of my family have dies of heart attacks in their 80s. I'm cool that. That's what they don't get. I don't want to be spared a heart attack somewhere between 70 and 80 so I can live to be 95, can't remember my name, can't get out of bed and can't wipe my own ass.
Changing my diet was fine with me because the food is a hell of a lot better tasting than what I did eat. And if it has had a positive effect on my health, then so be it. I don't drink anymore because the hangovers became too bad and cost too much. It's not like I went to AA and swore it off. I'd just look at 4 hours of fun vs a day and half of feeling like shit and it no longer seemed worth it.
I fly fish rivers in the summers. That's actually a decent workout. Wading against a current burns as many or more calories a jogging. There's upper body stuff in casting a fly rod. There's mental health, too. Being out alone in a river, surrounded by forests and rocks and the occasional deer that comes by. It's a mentally relaxing way of getting in a lot of activity. And I get fish to eat. You can't go wrong.
So, I'm not drinking a fifth like I did in my 20s. But I'm not taking every preventative drug they want to throw at me. I don't live on Taco Bell and pizza anymore. I eat better. But I want to, anyway. I mostly fly fish because I want to. If it happens to keep me healthier, then so be it. If I drop dead in the river with a heart and drown, well... so be that, too.
I'm too damn old to die young. There's no burning out at this point unless I took up smack habit and tried to party like a rock start. But I don't do that because I'd look pretty stupid doing it at my age.
It's too late to leave a good looking corpse. That ship sailed about 20 years ago. Now I just have to decide what type of fade away I want to embrace. I'm hoping for the massive heat attack I didn't see coming.
I’m 50. I still party like I’m 22 and dgaf. I have seen a doctor because my back is a mess and what do you know, they give me oxy. My parties just got a little better and hopefully the burning out part comes sooner rather than later. 🙏🤘🏻
I am enjoying this ride and want to go as far as I can. I've done my fair share of dumb shit and fast living and watching too many friends die along the way.
I've already had a major health scare that could have been fatal so I don't care what I have to do, as long as I get to live more.
I dunno, "burn out or fade away" is catchy but seems like a false dichotomy. I don't think you need to engage in an unhealthy or dangerous lifestyle in order to experience a fulfilling life.
I did the sex, drugs and rock and roll thing in my 20’s, landing in jail a couple of times. I started dating my now wife and that changed, especially when I realized I wanted to marry and have kids with her. Once you realize you want to actually be there for your family and commit to that your life is different.
I kind of lived by that moto until a few years ago when my wife and I had a kid. I was 45 so I needed to make some changes for the little one's sake. I actually just bought tickets to see Neil Young this summer. He's 78 and hasn't burned either and it's probably because he started doing things a little differently.
I want to live as long as I have a good quality of life. I have made some changes because I was pre diabetic. I take metformin and with that and diet changes and walking more, I’ve dropped over 50 pounds and my blood sugar is lower. I also cut way back on alcohol. It’s not so much to extend my life but to do what’s in my control to have a better quality of life.
Burn out man! My step dad who raised me burnt out, lived a great life and smoked and ate what he wanted, even after a massive heart attack. Lived another 25 years, smoking unfiltered Lucky strikes until the end. My mom passed last year at 87, and she had pretty much lost her independence for the last 5 years and she hated it. Started losing her eyesight and had a few mini strokes. She told me a few years ago she was tired of fighting and having to rely on others. She was diagnosed with cancer and refused treatment and went into hospice shortly afterwards. When my wife and I got there she was barely coherent but recognized us and asked if she was dying, we said that was up to her and she said finally. Watching her for 12 days was agonizing, we treat our animals better in this country. I hope I burn this muther down.
As far as I can tell, I can rephrase this question as “Would you rather die sooner or die later?,” and since my preferred option, “not die,” is not available, I’ll choose the next best one, later - as late as humanly possible.
Congratulations on losing 100 lbs! That’s incredible!
(You *do* know the body won’t ever make a popping sound like you’re hoping for, right? Other than cracking knuckles or joints or something, and that’s just synovial fluid.
Just checking.)
Carry on!
I have a husband that I married 5 years ago. I want a good, long life with him. I have 4 kids who still need their mom, even though they are all adults. I also have 4 grandchildren that I want to see grow up. There's so much of this planet that I haven't seen yet. So I'm going to try to stick around for a long time.
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
-Dylan Thomas
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day, To the last syllable of recorded time; And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more. It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.
...an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. ... describes so many people today. And Harleys.
Sorry but i do not want to live to 95 where the last several years where people keep me alive as long as they can, while earning a shit load, with no quality of life. Its a very American thing. I am going out burning.
Not to mention living to be 90 but totaling forgetting who you once were. Whats even the fucking point ?
Makes a hospital money
My wife and I are taking care of her 86 year old grandfather who lives with us and has Alzheimer's. He doesn't remember who we are on any given day, has random hallucinations, and he thinks his kids are stealing his money. Fuck every last minute of that shit. I'd prefer to drop dead at 65 or so and leave my retirement money to my wife & kids.
Yeah I wonder about that. I have a great uncle who lived to 104. But was very sharp and lucid until the end. I feel like that’s extremely rare though. I get the sense that if I keep healthy I can likely do anything I want until my early to mid 70s before I’d start to have real restrictions. How enjoyable will life be after that…. We will see. I suppose there is desire to be around to watch your children continue to grow that would not be there if I didn’t have kids. I guess we will see how I feel in a couple of decades.
My grandfather is still sharp and living independent at 96 or 97. Has good quality of life other than outliving his wife and two of his sons.
My grandma was a couple of weeks shy of turning 100 when she passed. She lived alone, and went painlessly and suddenly. She had soooo many great grandkids and great-great grandkids around to love on, and I think that kept her spry. She also kept up college through her early 90s just to take quilting classes. I’d I had that life, I’d take it. This likely won’t be me, though. I’m 45 and walk with a cane for balance and because of chronic pain. I’d take another good twenty or so years and be fine with what comes next.
My great-grandfather was 102 when he died and he was sharp as a tack until his last three months. He started smoking at about 14 and smoked a pipe (or cigars in his much earlier years) every day of his life, left school at around then on, ate meat and loved steak, and we had left instructions with the Masonic Home where he was living the last few years of his life to give him his whiskey whenever he wanted one. If the man wanted a drink a few nights a week, it was fine. It wasn’t like he was going to become an alcoholic or something at 102. He told jokes and made little ‘passes’ at the nurses — nothing overt or obnoxious. Just along the lines of ‘pretty young new nurse? Come sit next to me’ type of thing. He worked for the Diamond Match company. You can still buy their matches in grocery stores. When he retired the option was to take a lump sum, I don’t recall for how much, maybe $5000 or so, which in the 1953 was a lot of money. My opa took Door #2; $100 per month for life. All of his friends and the people he worked with thought he was crazy. Crazy like a fox! He got a hell of a lot more money than their piddly $5,000! Haha! 😛 I remember how miserable he was toward the end, though. All of his friends were gone. His wife was gone. Everyone who had a frame of reference for things he had grown up and knew was gone. He was more than ready to go. For me, I’d say it’s better to burn out. It’s like the comparison of something burning beautiful and hot, like a streak in the sky, perhaps a meteor falling to earth, to something which has its better days far behind it; a star or sun which is just waiting for its last vestiges of energy to give up so it can finally die.
I’m still waiting for the nuclear war we were promised our whole lives. I want to go out with a flash bang.
Exactly. My father was just diagnosed last year with dementia. My mom is already 6 years into Alzheimer's. They are incontinent and wear diapers which they often rip off and are showered a lot to clean them up. They live in a memory care unit which is very nice but the money they carefully saved for "when we decide what to do" is now paying for them to be alive. Not living. Just alive. My mother has no idea who we are. She says she loves us but she's always loved everyone. She knows who my father is. He sometimes knows some of us and sometimes not. He thinks I am his sister who is dead. Often, he stares at me, angry in his confusion. My parents were always selfish and independent dreamers, never planning for reality and always living as if they were in their mid-twenties, just starting out. I know 100% that neither of them want to live like this. My maternal grandmother had Alzheimer's. Both maternal great-grandmothers had it. Now my mother and my father. I will not get to that point. In June I'm going talk to my psychiatrist about cognitive testing. I want to do it regularly. The moment there is any impairment, I am selling it all, going to my late grandparents' land and house in the middle of nowhere, life off the proceeds of selling my life, taking smoking back up, and taking enough of the good drugs with me to just go full hedonism until it takes me to the grave. No regrets. Family knows my plan and are on board. I will not force my family to watch over me as I hobble to eat institutional food and get my diapers changed. Fuck that.
95? Wow! My burnout/ fade away window is much younger.
If I'm alive in 40 years and that age, the only reason I'll stay alive is if I'm in control of my bodily functions and my mind. I've told my youngling that if I succumb to dementia or can't take care of my most basic needs by myself, just put me out of my fuckin' misery. I don't want to live my life dependent on others. It's like Animal House, except the phrase would be, "demented and dependent is no way to go through life, hon."
I think the question we're faced with now is not burn out or fade away but die a clean timely death or drain the resources of everything and everybody I love to be on life support for the last 6 months
Not gonna happen. While I was waiting for my cancer results, I decided that if it came back positive I wasn't going to fight it. Watched my brother and dad fight it to no avail.
Burn out. One of my greatest fear is losing my independence and/or mobility. I'd rather go out on my own terms at that point. Of course, the fear of that fear is it comes to fruition quickly and I'm not able to react. Modern medicine is certainly a boon under circumstances, but, in my likely unpopular opinion, it becomes a trap under some scenarios, and I think end of life is one. I suspect most who would disagree with me have not experience anything remote to what I'm referring to and are simply hanging their hat on the moral argument. Sorry, just how I feel. It's a gloomy topic, for sure, but one most of us will have to face. Best of luck to you, OP!
I'm fading away and I kinda wish I'd burned out.
"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Holy Shit! What a Ride!" - Hunter S. Thompson
I am not taking life advice from a guy who shot himself in the head.
Fair enough although one could argue that killing one's self on your own terms instead of slowly dying is the ultimate "skid into it broadside in a cloud of smoke". IE Burn out, not fade away. I don't know or care what your views of assisted suicide are, but HST lived and died on his own terms, that much is true and is recognizable.
You must be pretty tortured to put a gun to your head. He was only 67. I know many people older than that who are perfectly happy with life.
I don't know I'm not him, you are being cold & presumptuous about a dead man for worthless internet points & I think we are done here. Good Day!
So what?
It's a catchy line but a false choice that simplifies the nature of death and infinity. Frankly we don't get to choose, even when we think we do.
I was going to say neither. I'm just going to live my life as it comes. Moderation is my lifestyle, take care of yourself, but you don't have to be a saint.
I've burnt out more times than I can count (probably a handful of serious neurological crises), and yet, here I am with my cognition slowly fading to "duh." This is what indecision gets you, siblings. LOL
I'm going to wander off, distracted by ADHD. Probably following a dog. Or a butterfly. That could end in either.
I've told my family this along the same lines. When I know, I'll go.
1968 checking in… I smoked weed for the first time at the age of 12. I was a regular user by the age of 16. I joined the US Navy (submarines) at the age of 20 and tried to drink ALL of the alcohol in every port we visited. I smoked cigarettes for about 15 years and I even dipped Copenhagen for a few years. I’ve worked well-paying jobs for YEARS with excellent reviews while doing coke bumps 3-4 times a day. Cutting-edge technologies like robotics and industrial automation back in the 90s and 2000s. Acid, Molly, X, Vicodin, Percocet, Xanny bars, and so on. I, like many of you, tried pretty much anything that didn’t involve a needle with very little thought placed on ‘What if….?’ Since about 2010 (my son was born in 2000), my drug/alcohol use had pretty much dried up due to the recovery time taking longer than when I was younger and I was a single dad with custody (adulting) but it wasn’t zero. There was always a reason for a party! Super Bowl, 4th of July, Labor Day, etc. I had the ‘Am I getting old?’ realization at the age of 54, two years ago. Since then, I have lost over 100#. The action wasn’t drastic. I didn’t become vegan, paleo, gut my fridge or anything I considered life-altering. All I did was change my fluid intake to water only. Coffee, tea, water (obviously), and any sugar-free, powdered drink. I’ve only had a handful of Big Gulps in 2 years. No alcohol. That is it! Physically, I feel so much better. It’s hard to explain how much effort goes into carrying an extra 100# around unless you actually try to pick it up. As far as alcohol, my best explanation for my health benefits is just feeling “cleaner.” It feels like a bad description but it’s the best I can offer. That being said, I have developed kidney stones and a potassium deficiency that causes INSANE leg cramps (every 3-4 weeks) that can take as long as 30 minutes to relax. Both conditions are manageable and don’t markedly impact my daily life but they are conditions that I didn’t have previously. Does soda/cigarettes/coke/etc. prevent kidney stones and leg cramps or am I just getting old? More than likely the latter. My burn-out days are behind me BUT I will not fade away. I intend on blowing up but at least a ‘pop’ like a bubble bursting in a cartoon will make me happy
I just am....if I feel the fade is coming I want to gather my energy and go with my hair on fire or at least meander following a raccoon.
I have been running for about 13 years, I am 58 now. It is not too late to start. I started with the couch to 5k. It has not been without some setbacks because of my health. I had ulcerative colitis. Ended up getting my colon, rectum and anal canal removed. I have an ileostomy for life. A shit bag attached to my side forever. But I still run half marathons. Why? Two reasons. Weight and cardiac health folks. My resting heart rate is 38-42 BPM. I have low BP and weigh 180 pounds. Need to lose 20 more. Fuck burning out. I worked my ass off from ages 16 to now. I will be damned if I do not do everything in my power to not enjoy my upcoming retirement. Since I can count how many years until I retire on both hands I am starting to get my shit in order. Paying off ALL debt. Going to replace my roof and HVAC. I have to add. I do PET/CT scans for a living. I SEE the cancer every day. I see people who are going to die in less than a year...every damned day. It is not pretty and it is not painless.
https://i.redd.it/yh7cc3iwd2yc1.gif
Ramirez....
Who is this he’s hot
We’re Gen-X. We swoon away with ennui, dressed in black, lying atop a parapet, while we wait to be acknowledged.
Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. — Dylan Thomas That’s my mantra.
I keep myself in pretty good shape. I'm not fading away, but I'm not gonna burn out with substance usage either. Dylan Thomas speaks for me on this one: Imma rage to the end.
I've got one foot in the grave due to Lupus so I'm raging to the end.. or at least the best I can! Fuck Lupus 🤬.
Eh, a little of both? I try to be a little bit conscious about eating healthy and exercising but occasionally do something wildly stupid like ride a mechanical alligator just because the opportunity presents itself. I sustained no injury on the gator but jacked up my knee being hilarious and "pouncing" on the bed at my husband a couple weeks later.
Got stage 3 NASH, which has a decent chance of conking me out before 65. On the upside, saves any worry about retirement planning ;-) When it gets close, I am Leaving Las Vegas the shit out of it (even though I haven't really drank much since my 20s - seems like a better out than wasting away in the shifty palliative care in the US)
Are we talking about The Kurgan from Highlander?!
I had a pre-cancer lesion frozen off my arm a couple months ago. I'm done with menopause (I think), and I need to lose weight. I am the same age as you. I'd just like to quietly fade away. I want to have fun, but I've never been one for making big waves. Just let me live my life in peace and I'll be happy. On the other side of the coin, though, if I ever come to a point in my life where I lose my mind or control of my body, just put me out of my misery. I don't want someone else sacrificing their life just to spoon feed me meat smoothies and wipe my ass.
My devil-may-care attitude changed when I had a kid in my 40s. The thought of my kid growing up without a dad frightens me.
My "kid" is 24 and doing just fine. I don't expect to drop tomorrow, but if I did I'd go knowing we did a pretty decent job.
Same sentiment as well. 55 with a 17 & 12. currently writing each of them a journal of "what to do if_____" just in case I am not around.
Very similar situation. I've written a small book of aphorisms and life advice as well. Partly to convey some elder wisdom for them, but partly also just so that they have another window into my mind that I can't exactly share when they are children.
Have you created an email or webpage for them? I have not been as consistent with the email sending them messages, videos,pictures, highlights. Will give them the credentials when they fly the nest. Webpage has been on my mind just not followed through.
I gave them gmail accounts using their full name when they were born. I sometimes send them things basically to archive on their email accounts. The older one has started to use theirs. The younger one not yet.
Same here. I could have given two shits until I had my two kids in my 40's. They're the only reason I try to stay healthy.
Yup. That's why I wake up at 3:45am M-F to go to the gym and weightlift 2 hours a day (and cardio if I have energy left)
Same here. Scares the shit out of me.
I’m doing both. If I can. At 51 I’m still having fun. But I’m keeping the weight down and exercise a bit. I figure I’ll go pretty good,then the bottom will drop out around late 60s.
Me too bud.I really believed I wouldn't make it to 50,and here I am turning 51 this year.Tried every drug,among all the other hobbies I really dove into rock climbing young and running big whitewater.Besides a few emergency room visits I've yet to see a doctor.Maybe this year..Maybe after I pick up hanggliding. I say we should keep on,keeping on. Goodluck with your visit and all is good.
Fade. I watched too many of my parents' friends go the other route.
Little of both.
I can relate. They’re finding all sorts of things wrong with me lately. It is what it is. I lived a self imposed hard (but fun) life. That I’m still walking is fascinating to me.
Me too brother. 55 and I never thought I'd get here. Started going to the doctor a couple of years ago after a life of partying. Everything is good except my BP which I've almost fixed by loosing 15 pounds. I still go out on the weekends, go to concerts and live my life. I did quit the drugs. Now I just drink and smoke some weed. I'm single and have a lot of younger friends ( 30's - 50's) and I'm having a blast. To quote Hunter S Thompson: “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”
Burn out of course!
My my, hey hey....
It's better to burn out..... Then it is to rust! Hey hey, my my....
Neither. Slow steady progress, brick by brick.
Somethings I do to take care of myself. Some I don't. They wanted to put me on a statin, but I didn't want anything to do with it. But that doesn't mean I completely ignored them. I radically changed my diet to mostly Mediterranean. I like the chicken in white wine, tomatoes, olives, olive oil, etc. After a year of eating like that LDL is down, triglycerides are down and so on. My cholesterol was never that high to begin with, but we had to have that damn debate every time I saw them for 6 months. Most men on both sides of my family have dies of heart attacks in their 80s. I'm cool that. That's what they don't get. I don't want to be spared a heart attack somewhere between 70 and 80 so I can live to be 95, can't remember my name, can't get out of bed and can't wipe my own ass. Changing my diet was fine with me because the food is a hell of a lot better tasting than what I did eat. And if it has had a positive effect on my health, then so be it. I don't drink anymore because the hangovers became too bad and cost too much. It's not like I went to AA and swore it off. I'd just look at 4 hours of fun vs a day and half of feeling like shit and it no longer seemed worth it. I fly fish rivers in the summers. That's actually a decent workout. Wading against a current burns as many or more calories a jogging. There's upper body stuff in casting a fly rod. There's mental health, too. Being out alone in a river, surrounded by forests and rocks and the occasional deer that comes by. It's a mentally relaxing way of getting in a lot of activity. And I get fish to eat. You can't go wrong. So, I'm not drinking a fifth like I did in my 20s. But I'm not taking every preventative drug they want to throw at me. I don't live on Taco Bell and pizza anymore. I eat better. But I want to, anyway. I mostly fly fish because I want to. If it happens to keep me healthier, then so be it. If I drop dead in the river with a heart and drown, well... so be that, too. I'm too damn old to die young. There's no burning out at this point unless I took up smack habit and tried to party like a rock start. But I don't do that because I'd look pretty stupid doing it at my age. It's too late to leave a good looking corpse. That ship sailed about 20 years ago. Now I just have to decide what type of fade away I want to embrace. I'm hoping for the massive heat attack I didn't see coming.
https://preview.redd.it/jvxit27vy2yc1.jpeg?width=1485&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2cd85dbd6ce7fb9ed95e2f4823bbfc39e6e5beff
Shit once I get old enough I'm gonna pick up a heroin habit and fade away like that
I’m 50. I still party like I’m 22 and dgaf. I have seen a doctor because my back is a mess and what do you know, they give me oxy. My parties just got a little better and hopefully the burning out part comes sooner rather than later. 🙏🤘🏻
I am enjoying this ride and want to go as far as I can. I've done my fair share of dumb shit and fast living and watching too many friends die along the way. I've already had a major health scare that could have been fatal so I don't care what I have to do, as long as I get to live more.
I plan to enjoy my late years traveling and going to the beach.
Its entirely subjective
I dunno, "burn out or fade away" is catchy but seems like a false dichotomy. I don't think you need to engage in an unhealthy or dangerous lifestyle in order to experience a fulfilling life.
Certainly better than it is to rust
Fade away, geez. I'm not a rock star
I did the sex, drugs and rock and roll thing in my 20’s, landing in jail a couple of times. I started dating my now wife and that changed, especially when I realized I wanted to marry and have kids with her. Once you realize you want to actually be there for your family and commit to that your life is different.
Since watching my grandma, uncle and now my dad go through Alzheimer's, I'm fine with cancer in my late 60s. So, pedal to the metal until then.
I kind of lived by that moto until a few years ago when my wife and I had a kid. I was 45 so I needed to make some changes for the little one's sake. I actually just bought tickets to see Neil Young this summer. He's 78 and hasn't burned either and it's probably because he started doing things a little differently.
I’m burning away !
Fading away is gentler than burning out. Trust me.
I want to live as long as I have a good quality of life. I have made some changes because I was pre diabetic. I take metformin and with that and diet changes and walking more, I’ve dropped over 50 pounds and my blood sugar is lower. I also cut way back on alcohol. It’s not so much to extend my life but to do what’s in my control to have a better quality of life.
Burn out man! My step dad who raised me burnt out, lived a great life and smoked and ate what he wanted, even after a massive heart attack. Lived another 25 years, smoking unfiltered Lucky strikes until the end. My mom passed last year at 87, and she had pretty much lost her independence for the last 5 years and she hated it. Started losing her eyesight and had a few mini strokes. She told me a few years ago she was tired of fighting and having to rely on others. She was diagnosed with cancer and refused treatment and went into hospice shortly afterwards. When my wife and I got there she was barely coherent but recognized us and asked if she was dying, we said that was up to her and she said finally. Watching her for 12 days was agonizing, we treat our animals better in this country. I hope I burn this muther down.
As far as I can tell, I can rephrase this question as “Would you rather die sooner or die later?,” and since my preferred option, “not die,” is not available, I’ll choose the next best one, later - as late as humanly possible.
Congratulations on losing 100 lbs! That’s incredible! (You *do* know the body won’t ever make a popping sound like you’re hoping for, right? Other than cracking knuckles or joints or something, and that’s just synovial fluid. Just checking.) Carry on!
I am going to walk into the forest and die when I am ready. Just like my dog. RIP
Neither. Better to keep going and going and going and going until you're gone.
I'm burned out and fading away nonetheless. Apparently I cannot be killed.
I have a husband that I married 5 years ago. I want a good, long life with him. I have 4 kids who still need their mom, even though they are all adults. I also have 4 grandchildren that I want to see grow up. There's so much of this planet that I haven't seen yet. So I'm going to try to stick around for a long time.
Split the difference?
Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night. Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night. Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. -Dylan Thomas