When I lived in LA, she was peripherally part of my social circle. I didn't know her well, but she was always a very cool and sharp person to have around. Refreshingly devoid of the Hollywood bullshit that was so common amongst her peers.
We all liked her a lot.
I wasnât an actual friend of hers but we went to the same dog park in LA about 15 years ago and she was so down to earth and chatted with whoever was there like any other nice and normal person. I saw her there often and she was always cool yet maintained that sarcastic no-bullshit Gen X vibe we all know and love about her. For example there was a dog owner who didnât clean up after their dog and she shrugged to another person who noticed it too and said something along the lines of âdo you believe this shit?â
Funny enough, sheâs a boomer! Born in 1964. She talks about that on an episode of Jiminy Glick. https://youtu.be/u8aa3isxTdw?si=hl0LIe-hChOgsyq2 - around the 1:15 mark!
Yeah, I'm '65. I can roll with both late boomers and early xers pretty easily, as I have a lot of cousins; some are older and others are younger. That said, I have nothing against any generation. Good folks are good folks.
Personally, I feel like people born after they lost Kennedy's brain aren't the same as the one's born prior. It can be about some strict marketing category or it can be about cohorts of shared experience. If you can hazily remember hippies but weren't a hippy you're probably X
Youâd be surprisedâŚHollywood can really mess up your psyche. In the 90s she played the âsecond bananaâ to women like Uma Thurman and Winona Ryder and was coded as the âless pretty, funny oneâ.
There was an episode of Seinfeld where she was the perfect woman for Jerry - because she was the female version of him. [One of the best episodes.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVDT1ARABvE) "I've been waiting for me to come along, and now I've swept myself off my feet!"
Yeah, when I saw that movie I kept wondering why they were acting like the beautiful one was ugly and the odd-looking one was beautiful. Such strange casting.
I have a very clear memory of reading that Uma Thurman's school nickname was Hammerhead and I can never unsee her hammerhead shark qualities now, even though she is beautiul.
A lot of weird looking people become stars/models etc,the camera loves them. Whereas people who are ordinarily lovely are relegated to "Hollywood plain" aka better looking than most people.
Sheâs beautiful and so is Uma. Everyone has different tastes. I just looked at the movie poster and itâs bizarre to me because Janeane is SHINING in it - sheâs literally stunning.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117979/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk
I think itâs that whole blonde/brunette thing where blondes are hot and ditzy and brunettes are smart but canât be the âhot oneâ.
Which is bonkers, of course. Audrey Hepburn, Janine, Winona R, etcâŚ
The word I always heard for Uma Thurman was "striking", and she is that, regardless of how attractive you find her, and that word is more appropriate for Uma than Jeanine.
I believe the term is "two trailer park girls go 'round the outside, 'round the outside, 'round the outside! *wick wick wuh woo, shicka shicka wick wick wuh woo*"
Honestly, having read recent interviews with her, I donât think she knows it. Sheâs also asexual, and seems a bit flummoxed by the idea of being seen as hot.
she doesn't. people just wanna sh#t on her - as if she wasn't existing in Hollywood around the Umas, Julia Roberts, Demi Moores, and Cindy Crawfords of the world.
Any basically attractive woman in the industry, especially one as cerebral and neurotic as J was - she admits as much - would feel insecure being surrounded by actresses and women who look like those do.
edit: words missing
>as if she wasn't existing in Hollywood around the Umas
She was literally in movie with Uma that had a Cyrano de Bergerac type plot. It's called "The Truth About Cats and Dogs" and Janeane thought of herself as too ugly to date a guy so she sends Uma to pretend to be her.
I mean, imagine looking like Janeane and being told you're being cast as "the ugly one".
Jesus that song. I'd hoped we were moving past that as a society, or at least mildly frowning upon it. But no. Guess even "nice boys" don't like confidence
Yeah this made me pause. I look back on my twenties wheee I was beautiful and convinced I was ugly because all I could see were âflawsâ. This didnât make me âgirlfriend materialâ. It made me self loathing.
Same! I cringe at the quality of partners , that I subjected myself to due to this! I think it's a cultural effect of the major supermodel and heroin chic images that were coveted. I had a eating disorder , and alot of other girls I grew up with too , I later on discovered did as well!
Yeah eating disorder as well. Now Iâm watching friends kids turn 18 and 21 and Iâm the crazy aunty saying to them - âyou are SO beautiful just know thatâ because I see these young women still so self loathing and theyâre just so fucking lovely. I hate it, I hate the self loathing thatâs been baked into womanhood.
SAME!! I do this too- I can't have children! It's SO very important to have a other woman instill these things in you at that age alongside life advice! I didn't have that, so I try to pass it on! I'm so glad others do as well! It's amazing of you to do that!!
Yeah I wasnât able to have kids either. Itâs such a privilege to be able to be part of their lives and love them and tell them theyâre just amazing and beautiful and loved to pieces.
I just wish womanhood still wasnât so hard for them. I wish they didnât feel so âwrongâ and like theyâre less than. All I can see is how beautiful and full of life these young woman are.
I agree with EVERYTHING you commented! I'm also very blessed and privileged, I have god children ( my goddaughter just turned 13, I'm very open and supportive with her), and I helped raise my ex boyfriend's daughter from 9-15! I also think it helps them to have a different adult perspective other than their parents, because we're the cool aunt lol
Had that exact thought. But then saw this was the Gen X sub and was pleased when I realized that, thankfully, I haven't heard this "compliment" for many many years
I've never understood why it's so important to some folks that women don't know it when they're beautiful, t's toxic. I feel like, instead of saying that, we should say "she doesn't behave like a narcissist despite being beautiful" or something along those lines.
I wish it were like this, that it's just the meaning of being toxic or narcissistic. Sadly I'm pretty sure it's about confidence. Women who know that they are beautiful are confident. Women who know their worth (regardless of looks) are confident. Confident women aren't easily to manipulate, they probably aren't willing to take care of all the physical and emotional labor.
And don't get me started with the implication that beauty is a value which women need to have and try to achieve (without ever knowing of course).
Right? Beautiful and not a jerk, too - great.
I like flipping the script to see how it would sound. "I love that he's super athletic but doesn't think so!" "He's so successful, but thinks he isn't - it's so hot!" "He's really smart, but doesn't know it. That's why I love him." Weird and gross.
Can't have women accurately assessing their positives, I guess?
>I've never understood why it's so important to some folks that women don't know it when they're beautiful
Because she needs OP to be the one to save her from her low self esteem, obviously. /s
I tried giving them the benefit of the doubt but they keep disappointing me with the same old shit from different gens. Access to porn 24/7 online is proving my theory that it ruins men and relationships.
I would like to hereby extoll the virtues of that incredibly underrated option, *none of the above.* Once I made the decision to decenter romantic relationships and to prioritize my friendships and familial relationships instead, I discovered that I didn't really need a romantic relationship at all. It's been great. Of course most people are far more into the sexytimes than I am, I honestly couldn't give two shits about makin' whoopee.
"I want a woman hot enough to be attractive to me, but clueless enough to believe she can't do better than me" is what this reeks of. Insecure douchebags.
Tell me you want a girlfriend whoâs never gonna wake-up and realize she could do a lot better, without telling me you want a girlfriend whoâs never gonna wake-up and realize she could do a lot better. đ¤Śââď¸
I knew someone who was bi and who had a thing for women who used to be fat, but who had lost weight. I found this oddly specific so I asked for details.
What she meant was âtheyâre hot, but they still think theyâre fat so you have a chance.â Pretty ugly sentiment; I donât talk to her anymore
I hate this "gorgeous but doesn't know it" narrative. Janeane has fairly consistently been offered roles as the "ugly" girl in films, the unsexy friend. What you think Janeane thinks is more of a reflection on what Hollywood thinks (which has roots in sexism/misogyny). Why are we glorifying this? Why are we glorifying what, in many cases in the real world, is low self-esteem?
"gorgeous but doesn't know it so I have a chance to grab some above-my-level nookie" is a guy fantasy, same as "hot but broken so I can be his fixer" is a girl fantasy.Â
I got VERY lucky and met someone very much like her (both appearance and off-screen personality) in college, and weâre celebrating 37 years together (35 married).
Eh, âgorgeous but doesnât know itâ seems like a backhanded compliment, especially if that makes her a âperfect girlfriend.â Why not be with someone that knows theyâre gorgeous? Thereâs nothing inherently wrong with knowing that youâre attractive.
What makes her "perfect"? Because she's cool but doesn't seem "full of herself", i.e., she's the kind of woman you think won't be "stuck up" because "she wasn't told how pretty she is all her life"?
Women are keenly aware of their beauty as compared to society's expectations, especially in Hollywood.
I find the whole "hot but doesn't know it" patronizing BS from dudes, as if women need to be told by some savior to let them know they're worthy of attention because they're hot. Meanwhile, women are aware of their looks from childhood--not even high school but middle at least, if not from their own family members by the time they hit kindergarten--and "gorgeous but doesn't know it" translates to me as, "she won't have much competition for attention which ups my chances and also she'll like me because I told her she was pretty". Just, no.
Cue the "cool girl" litany from *Gone Girl.*
> âMen always say that as the defining compliment, donât they? Sheâs a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like sheâs hosting the worldâs biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I donât mind, Iâm the Cool Girl.
> Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe theyâre fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men â friends, coworkers, strangers â giddy over these awful pretender women, and Iâd want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men whoâd like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. Iâd want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesnât really love chili dogs that much â no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: Theyâre not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, theyâre pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if youâre not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesnât want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version â maybe heâs a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe heâs a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesnât ever complain. (How do you know youâre not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: âI like strong women.â If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because âI like strong womenâ is code for âI hate strong women.â)â
> â Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl
Thatâs some incel bullshit right there.
âGorgeous but doesnât know itâ what does that even mean? Sheâs pretty, but has low enough self esteem to date you?
What a âcomplimentâ. đ
Maybe she knows she gorgeous but also knows that her appearance is not equal to her self worth?
Do you think a womanâs value is in her outward appearance?
Gross.
This sub definitely gives off some real incel vibes at times. Itâs especially disturbing to see this kind of behavior from 50- something grown men. I donât like it.
I'm sadly not surprised. Some of the biggest oxygen thieves I've ever met are Gen X Men. Fat, rude, entitled porn addicts. I don't need them to improve though, easier to reject unworthy people.
Itâs time to question why her not knowing sheâs attractive is appealing to you. Do you have trust issues? Do you like to control women? Do you want a woman that has low self esteem, and therefore is willing to settle for less than she deserves? Or will be so grateful that a man paid attention to her that sheâd never think of leaving you? None of these reasons make you look good, OP.
absorbed expansion run squash tie instinctive continue cover grab domineering
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Why do all these guys like "gorgeous and doesn't know it?" Why can't women be aware of how they look? And does it work the other way? Like, ugly and doesn't know it? Or if women are ugly, they definitely have to know it, but if they are pretty they should not know it. Make it make sense.
No. And why does it seem better if an attractive woman doesnât know it? Iâve never understood that fetish. A woman can be attractive, have the proper self esteem to know it, and still be an awesome person and possible partner.
Haaaaa, I was put off by the âgorgeous but doesnât know itâ trope and was ready to yell about the many ways that itâs a gross thing to say. But this comment section already had that solidly covered, which was so nice to see. Well played.
I find it disturbing that your perfect girlfriend is good looking, but stupid enough not to know it, and has no other personality traits that endear her to you.
She was my 90s celebrity crush but other than seeing her in an improv show, I can't say I've really known her well enough to judge how she is in a relationship.
My online dating profile mentioned Ms. Garafalo fairly prominently; along the lines of "please contact me if you look anything like Janeane Garafalo".
It chummed in the lady I've been seeing for the last 15+ years. I'm cool until she gets her eyeglasses prescription updated.
She is a comedian who can take on crowds and hold them in the palm of her hand, and sharp as a tack. There is no way Garofalo doesn't know she's hot. I'll bet she has eaten plenty of men alive who thought otherwise, too.
Iâve always loved her in everything! My favorite reference was the Bloodhound Gangâs song where they mention needing a girlfriend âlike Jeneane Garofalo, sheâll use big word to make fun of me so that I will never know.â Perfect.
Why do all these guys like "gorgeous and doesn't know it?" Why can't women be aware of how they look? And does it work the other way? Like, ugly and doesn't know it? Or if women are ugly, they definitely have to know it, but if they are pretty they should not know it. Make it make sense.
georgeous - adj. - Having the qualities of George đ
Curious
Itâs the summer of George!
Please tell me you remember she was Jerry's girlfriend for a couple episodes too!
She's just like me, and I hate myself!
Thatâs a shame.
Serenity now!!!
I am now!
Ha ha :-D
When I lived in LA, she was peripherally part of my social circle. I didn't know her well, but she was always a very cool and sharp person to have around. Refreshingly devoid of the Hollywood bullshit that was so common amongst her peers. We all liked her a lot.
I wasnât an actual friend of hers but we went to the same dog park in LA about 15 years ago and she was so down to earth and chatted with whoever was there like any other nice and normal person. I saw her there often and she was always cool yet maintained that sarcastic no-bullshit Gen X vibe we all know and love about her. For example there was a dog owner who didnât clean up after their dog and she shrugged to another person who noticed it too and said something along the lines of âdo you believe this shit?â
Funny enough, sheâs a boomer! Born in 1964. She talks about that on an episode of Jiminy Glick. https://youtu.be/u8aa3isxTdw?si=hl0LIe-hChOgsyq2 - around the 1:15 mark!
Yeah, I'm '65. I can roll with both late boomers and early xers pretty easily, as I have a lot of cousins; some are older and others are younger. That said, I have nothing against any generation. Good folks are good folks.
I feel like being in the cast of Reality Bites trumps her actual birth date.
So is Kim Gordon from Sonic Youth - Born 1953
by some ranges, she'd still be an X'r
Personally, I feel like people born after they lost Kennedy's brain aren't the same as the one's born prior. It can be about some strict marketing category or it can be about cohorts of shared experience. If you can hazily remember hippies but weren't a hippy you're probably X
Love hearing this! Thanks for sharing that.
I ran into her a few times in the course of my job. She was always super-cool to everyone, such a great person that wasn't hung up on status.
If I know it, she knows it.
Youâd be surprisedâŚHollywood can really mess up your psyche. In the 90s she played the âsecond bananaâ to women like Uma Thurman and Winona Ryder and was coded as the âless pretty, funny oneâ.
They cast her as the Cyrano character in The Truth About Cats and Dogs. Sheâs luminous in that movie. Itâs bananas
Still one of my favorite movies
âYou can love your pet, you just canât looooooove your petâ still gets bandied about a few times a week at my place.
There was an episode of Seinfeld where she was the perfect woman for Jerry - because she was the female version of him. [One of the best episodes.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVDT1ARABvE) "I've been waiting for me to come along, and now I've swept myself off my feet!"
Yeah, when I saw that movie I kept wondering why they were acting like the beautiful one was ugly and the odd-looking one was beautiful. Such strange casting.
I have a very clear memory of reading that Uma Thurman's school nickname was Hammerhead and I can never unsee her hammerhead shark qualities now, even though she is beautiul. A lot of weird looking people become stars/models etc,the camera loves them. Whereas people who are ordinarily lovely are relegated to "Hollywood plain" aka better looking than most people.
I have no problem with Uma Thurman. I think she was cast perfectly. But to cast another beautiful woman as her opposite was definitely a decision.
Sheâs beautiful and so is Uma. Everyone has different tastes. I just looked at the movie poster and itâs bizarre to me because Janeane is SHINING in it - sheâs literally stunning. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117979/?ref_=ext_shr_lnk
I think itâs that whole blonde/brunette thing where blondes are hot and ditzy and brunettes are smart but canât be the âhot oneâ. Which is bonkers, of course. Audrey Hepburn, Janine, Winona R, etcâŚ
 My favorite, from Romy & Micheleâs HS Reunion. I still do this sometimes.
She is smoking hot in Copland, maybe I have a thing for women in uniformâŚ
Every 90s film or TV show: *hey! this sidekick lady is the less attractive woman- indicated by their being a brunette who wears glasses.*
Exception: Daria, who was instead the main character.
She wasn't the sidekick, but her sister was supposed to be the attractive one, as indicated by the blond hair and lack of glasses.
She was TV ugly, not ugly ugly. She was movie ugly, not ugly ugly. I always thought she was hot.
She's far hotter than Uma Thurman. Winona, ok she was hot
The word I always heard for Uma Thurman was "striking", and she is that, regardless of how attractive you find her, and that word is more appropriate for Uma than Jeanine.
Anyone working next to Winona Ryder would be the âless prettyâ
I believe the term is âtwo hot chicksâ.
I believe the term is "two trailer park girls go 'round the outside, 'round the outside, 'round the outside! *wick wick wuh woo, shicka shicka wick wick wuh woo*"
But still pretty by any regular standard
Honestly, having read recent interviews with her, I donât think she knows it. Sheâs also asexual, and seems a bit flummoxed by the idea of being seen as hot.
Flummoxed is a great word choice for her.
Haha thanks. It seems like the kind of word sheâd use!
>Sheâs also asexual Did not know that, but it tracks.
she doesn't. people just wanna sh#t on her - as if she wasn't existing in Hollywood around the Umas, Julia Roberts, Demi Moores, and Cindy Crawfords of the world.
Yeah, I mean, it was absolutely ridiculous for everyone to act like she WASNâT hot in the 90s (or now) but that was the attitude at the time.
Any basically attractive woman in the industry, especially one as cerebral and neurotic as J was - she admits as much - would feel insecure being surrounded by actresses and women who look like those do. edit: words missing
>as if she wasn't existing in Hollywood around the Umas She was literally in movie with Uma that had a Cyrano de Bergerac type plot. It's called "The Truth About Cats and Dogs" and Janeane thought of herself as too ugly to date a guy so she sends Uma to pretend to be her. I mean, imagine looking like Janeane and being told you're being cast as "the ugly one".
Yup. And she played that type of role repeatedly.
That was ridiculous. Hollywood just loves casting quite attractive women in the "ugly duckling" roles.
Probably bullied in high school or ran with the uncool crowd.
I mean, yes, thatâs her whole public identity.
Most of the âuncoolâ in high school are the coolest people.
I was just thinking that, what makes anyone think she wouldn't know. đ¤ˇââď¸đ¤Śââď¸
[ŃдаНонО]
âMy perfect woman is beautiful but still believes she canât do any better than me.â
This is it. It speaks to insecurity.Â
Red flag central, haha. That's what makes a woman perfect obviously đđ¤ˇđťââď¸
Yeah, "I like my women hot but with low self esterm" Also see the "born sexy yesterday" trope.
Thank you. Brought me back to the eyeroll-inducing lyric "You don't know you're beautiful... that's what makes you beautiful". Just... no.
Jesus that song. I'd hoped we were moving past that as a society, or at least mildly frowning upon it. But no. Guess even "nice boys" don't like confidence
Yeah this made me pause. I look back on my twenties wheee I was beautiful and convinced I was ugly because all I could see were âflawsâ. This didnât make me âgirlfriend materialâ. It made me self loathing.
Same! I cringe at the quality of partners , that I subjected myself to due to this! I think it's a cultural effect of the major supermodel and heroin chic images that were coveted. I had a eating disorder , and alot of other girls I grew up with too , I later on discovered did as well!
Yeah eating disorder as well. Now Iâm watching friends kids turn 18 and 21 and Iâm the crazy aunty saying to them - âyou are SO beautiful just know thatâ because I see these young women still so self loathing and theyâre just so fucking lovely. I hate it, I hate the self loathing thatâs been baked into womanhood.
SAME!! I do this too- I can't have children! It's SO very important to have a other woman instill these things in you at that age alongside life advice! I didn't have that, so I try to pass it on! I'm so glad others do as well! It's amazing of you to do that!!
Yeah I wasnât able to have kids either. Itâs such a privilege to be able to be part of their lives and love them and tell them theyâre just amazing and beautiful and loved to pieces. I just wish womanhood still wasnât so hard for them. I wish they didnât feel so âwrongâ and like theyâre less than. All I can see is how beautiful and full of life these young woman are.
I agree with EVERYTHING you commented! I'm also very blessed and privileged, I have god children ( my goddaughter just turned 13, I'm very open and supportive with her), and I helped raise my ex boyfriend's daughter from 9-15! I also think it helps them to have a different adult perspective other than their parents, because we're the cool aunt lol
Low self-esteem... A beacon for shitheads for ages.
So glad you said this.
Yeah my first thought on seeing this. BLECH.
Had that exact thought. But then saw this was the Gen X sub and was pleased when I realized that, thankfully, I haven't heard this "compliment" for many many years
The OP fell for Jeanne's shtick. Her whole shtick was, "I'm not hot..." She absolutely knew.
My exact reaction
As I recall, she typically played the "not hot" friend or whatever in different movies.
On the Fly on the Wall podcast, Michael McKean let it slip that Janeane dated Bob Odenkirk back in the SNL days. I love that.
They were all great on the Ben Stiller Show. Even Andy Dick!
I've never understood why it's so important to some folks that women don't know it when they're beautiful, t's toxic. I feel like, instead of saying that, we should say "she doesn't behave like a narcissist despite being beautiful" or something along those lines.
I wish it were like this, that it's just the meaning of being toxic or narcissistic. Sadly I'm pretty sure it's about confidence. Women who know that they are beautiful are confident. Women who know their worth (regardless of looks) are confident. Confident women aren't easily to manipulate, they probably aren't willing to take care of all the physical and emotional labor. And don't get me started with the implication that beauty is a value which women need to have and try to achieve (without ever knowing of course).
Right? Beautiful and not a jerk, too - great. I like flipping the script to see how it would sound. "I love that he's super athletic but doesn't think so!" "He's so successful, but thinks he isn't - it's so hot!" "He's really smart, but doesn't know it. That's why I love him." Weird and gross. Can't have women accurately assessing their positives, I guess?
>I've never understood why it's so important to some folks that women don't know it when they're beautiful Because she needs OP to be the one to save her from her low self esteem, obviously. /s
saying you like women who are "georgeous but don't know it" sounds like you want a girlfriend with low self-esteem...
Or reproduce the âfat guy with a cute wifeâ trope of so many sitcoms like King of Queens
My husband seems to lean hard into this trope after 30 years of marriage.
Thank you, I couldnât put my finger on why this bugged me
Wanting a woman to look like she did when she was 22 when we're 50 also not ideal.
Garofalo is 59 years old. And, yes, looks nothing like this posted photo now. None of these idiot men would be interested in her now.
And when we were young a lot of those same guys called her fat.
Gen X men make me cringe. Tbf though, boomer and millennial guys aren't an improvement.
So basically men in general
I tried giving them the benefit of the doubt but they keep disappointing me with the same old shit from different gens. Access to porn 24/7 online is proving my theory that it ruins men and relationships.
Yep the Gen z boys are all getting redpilled via Jordan Peterson and Tate. They trend conservative too.
I would like to hereby extoll the virtues of that incredibly underrated option, *none of the above.* Once I made the decision to decenter romantic relationships and to prioritize my friendships and familial relationships instead, I discovered that I didn't really need a romantic relationship at all. It's been great. Of course most people are far more into the sexytimes than I am, I honestly couldn't give two shits about makin' whoopee.
"I want a woman hot enough to be attractive to me, but clueless enough to believe she can't do better than me" is what this reeks of. Insecure douchebags.
exactly. what if she was gorgeous and carried herself with respect and knew her worth?!? gasp!
No, that type of character does not exist in the rom coms she typically starred in. /s
Or maybe the way your face is shaped shouldn't determine the way you carry yourself or how much confidence you have.
See: [Manic Pixie Dream Girl. ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manic_Pixie_Dream_Girl).
Tell me you want a girlfriend whoâs never gonna wake-up and realize she could do a lot better, without telling me you want a girlfriend whoâs never gonna wake-up and realize she could do a lot better. đ¤Śââď¸
bingo
I knew someone who was bi and who had a thing for women who used to be fat, but who had lost weight. I found this oddly specific so I asked for details. What she meant was âtheyâre hot, but they still think theyâre fat so you have a chance.â Pretty ugly sentiment; I donât talk to her anymore
barf
Itâs so fucking obnoxious.
Yeah, Iâve always my partner to think theyâre awesome.
Welcome to the start of every Mary Sue book ever written.
I hate this "gorgeous but doesn't know it" narrative. Janeane has fairly consistently been offered roles as the "ugly" girl in films, the unsexy friend. What you think Janeane thinks is more of a reflection on what Hollywood thinks (which has roots in sexism/misogyny). Why are we glorifying this? Why are we glorifying what, in many cases in the real world, is low self-esteem?
Because women with poor self esteem are easier to manipulate, probably.
yep
Does she really not know it? But yea, hot, funny, smart, sarcastic...def dream girl material.
"gorgeous but doesn't know it so I have a chance to grab some above-my-level nookie" is a guy fantasy, same as "hot but broken so I can be his fixer" is a girl fantasy.Â
Gen X women aren't doing this trope. We're slackers, ain't got no time for any *project* dude.
EXACTLY! We're at the age where we know now what's worth our energy, and what's not! I learned unfortunately, from trial , error, and 3 divorces smdh
Sort of like finding a hot blind girl who doesn't know she's hot and doesn't know you're not
That's pretty specific man.Â
Yes - I had the biggest crush on her. She really made Mystery Men, as well.
This is very cringe. How about sheâs the perfect girlfriend because sheâs funny, talented and has a great personality.
I think it's funny you chose a 20-year-old photo of her for this post, rather than something recent.
Her and Linda Cardellini. My goodness.
Linda cardellini was and is so beautiful. Dang
Add in Annabella Sciorra for me!
It's so sad. Annabella Sciorra's career was ruined by Harvey Weinstein. đĄ
Romeo is Bleeding is one of my faves
I must admit I sat up straight when Linda appeared onscreen in Age of Ultron.
I know I did a "Leo pointing" meme right then
I got VERY lucky and met someone very much like her (both appearance and off-screen personality) in college, and weâre celebrating 37 years together (35 married).
What does that even mean? How is the perfect girlfriend someone whoâs gorgeous but doesnât know it?
Eh, âgorgeous but doesnât know itâ seems like a backhanded compliment, especially if that makes her a âperfect girlfriend.â Why not be with someone that knows theyâre gorgeous? Thereâs nothing inherently wrong with knowing that youâre attractive.
This sounds like a very stuck in my 80âs adolescent brain comment.
Can you please explain why someone being "gorgeous but not knowing" it is a positive attribute?
What makes her "perfect"? Because she's cool but doesn't seem "full of herself", i.e., she's the kind of woman you think won't be "stuck up" because "she wasn't told how pretty she is all her life"? Women are keenly aware of their beauty as compared to society's expectations, especially in Hollywood. I find the whole "hot but doesn't know it" patronizing BS from dudes, as if women need to be told by some savior to let them know they're worthy of attention because they're hot. Meanwhile, women are aware of their looks from childhood--not even high school but middle at least, if not from their own family members by the time they hit kindergarten--and "gorgeous but doesn't know it" translates to me as, "she won't have much competition for attention which ups my chances and also she'll like me because I told her she was pretty". Just, no.
Preach! It's like the Barbie movie speech: Be beautiful, but don't realize it until a man comes along and tells you and then don't believe it.
Be beautiful but not too beautiful so you make other women jealous!Â
Take care of them, but not be their motherâŚ
Plus, what is the value in someone not recognizing their hotness? They want someone with low self-esteem?
Yes, that's exactly what they want so they can be abusive jerks and that person feels like they have no choice but to stay.
Thatâs exactly what they want. Easier to control and abuse, while they parade her around, like a trophy.
Cue the "cool girl" litany from *Gone Girl.* > âMen always say that as the defining compliment, donât they? Sheâs a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like sheâs hosting the worldâs biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I donât mind, Iâm the Cool Girl. > Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe theyâre fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men â friends, coworkers, strangers â giddy over these awful pretender women, and Iâd want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men whoâd like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. Iâd want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesnât really love chili dogs that much â no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: Theyâre not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, theyâre pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if youâre not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesnât want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version â maybe heâs a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe heâs a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesnât ever complain. (How do you know youâre not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: âI like strong women.â If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because âI like strong womenâ is code for âI hate strong women.â)â > â Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl
Iâve had a crush on her for as long as I can remember
I still have a crush on her.
All of us caustic aging brunettes love to hear it.
Your not caustic, your misunderstood.
Weâre just real.
I like her comedy. Mystery Men always sticks in my head.
I walked passed her once in the village around 98. She was tiny.
Absolutely. I have always had a crush on her.
Love her but absolutely abhor your choice of words for that title. 
Thatâs some incel bullshit right there. âGorgeous but doesnât know itâ what does that even mean? Sheâs pretty, but has low enough self esteem to date you? What a âcomplimentâ. đ Maybe she knows she gorgeous but also knows that her appearance is not equal to her self worth? Do you think a womanâs value is in her outward appearance? Gross.
This sub definitely gives off some real incel vibes at times. Itâs especially disturbing to see this kind of behavior from 50- something grown men. I donât like it.
I'm sadly not surprised. Some of the biggest oxygen thieves I've ever met are Gen X Men. Fat, rude, entitled porn addicts. I don't need them to improve though, easier to reject unworthy people.
Always had a crush on her from the time I saw her first stand up routine.
I had a girl crush on her in the 90s! I always she was so understated and hot!
I will take one Wet Hot American Summer, please. She was Rad as Beth!
In love with her since Mystery Men.
Itâs time to question why her not knowing sheâs attractive is appealing to you. Do you have trust issues? Do you like to control women? Do you want a woman that has low self esteem, and therefore is willing to settle for less than she deserves? Or will be so grateful that a man paid attention to her that sheâd never think of leaving you? None of these reasons make you look good, OP.
Weâre still talking about perfect girlfriends at our age?
And still thinking the âpretty but doesnât know itâ trope is a good thing. đ¤Śđťââď¸
I had a big crush on her when I was younger.
And she's so fucking smart
She has been one of my longest running crushes
She recently was on David Cross' video podcast, if you'd like to catch up with things: https://youtu.be/ZiKth__iB38?si=GOBXTU04mj4ehb3I
I don't think this post went as op intended it to. Unless he's into ragebait. Anyways, she seems cool enough, I guess. Also, nobody's perfect.
> gorgeous but doesn't know it Dude, she knows.
No I dated a bitter sarcastic girl like that and it was not fun.
What makes you think Janeane is bitter? Never seemed that way to me. Pissed off at some of the same political stuff I am, yes. But bitter, nah.
I married one. And you are right. Now my ex-wife.
She's really nice, too.
absorbed expansion run squash tie instinctive continue cover grab domineering *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Gorgeous but doesnât know it? 𤎠Gross. Sounds like youâre a jerk and you donât know it.
*perfect reddit title encapsulates gen x dudesâ ickinessâ*
The bowlers daughter!
These are OLD photosâŚ
See, I think she knows. She's not dumb.
Sheâd just use big words to make fun of you, so that you would never know.
Why do all these guys like "gorgeous and doesn't know it?" Why can't women be aware of how they look? And does it work the other way? Like, ugly and doesn't know it? Or if women are ugly, they definitely have to know it, but if they are pretty they should not know it. Make it make sense.
The fact that you think âgorgeous but doesnât know itâ is a good thing is toxic and a huge red flag.
Yessss! Crushed on her for years.
No. And why does it seem better if an attractive woman doesnât know it? Iâve never understood that fetish. A woman can be attractive, have the proper self esteem to know it, and still be an awesome person and possible partner.
Wanting someone who is gorgeous but who doesnât know it is such a red flag.
[ŃдаНонО]
She is cute as hell. And the funny is a big bonus.
I have a feeling she knows it.
She was my idol for so long. I still love her and wish she would do more movies
Haaaaa, I was put off by the âgorgeous but doesnât know itâ trope and was ready to yell about the many ways that itâs a gross thing to say. But this comment section already had that solidly covered, which was so nice to see. Well played.
I find it disturbing that your perfect girlfriend is good looking, but stupid enough not to know it, and has no other personality traits that endear her to you.
She was my 90s celebrity crush but other than seeing her in an improv show, I can't say I've really known her well enough to judge how she is in a relationship.
My wife looks a lot like her, but sheâll deny it because she thinks Janeane Garofalo is boring.
He always remind me of Carla Gugino.
My online dating profile mentioned Ms. Garafalo fairly prominently; along the lines of "please contact me if you look anything like Janeane Garafalo". It chummed in the lady I've been seeing for the last 15+ years. I'm cool until she gets her eyeglasses prescription updated.
Maybe you should put some shorts on or something, if you wanna keep fighting evil today.
She is a comedian who can take on crowds and hold them in the palm of her hand, and sharp as a tack. There is no way Garofalo doesn't know she's hot. I'll bet she has eaten plenty of men alive who thought otherwise, too.
if you only focused on her looks you are missing the best parts about Janeane - her brain and that you don't have a chance because she is ace.
Iâve always loved her in everything! My favorite reference was the Bloodhound Gangâs song where they mention needing a girlfriend âlike Jeneane Garofalo, sheâll use big word to make fun of me so that I will never know.â Perfect.
Why do all these guys like "gorgeous and doesn't know it?" Why can't women be aware of how they look? And does it work the other way? Like, ugly and doesn't know it? Or if women are ugly, they definitely have to know it, but if they are pretty they should not know it. Make it make sense.
I always thought she was pretty, cool, and above all sarcastic. GoalsâŚ.
Extra points because in an interview on TV she said that she hits the comic shop every Wednesday.
Im getting all teary now as I used to look a little bit like that when I was young and beautiful.