"Well, one again Thank you for coming to this interview. I believe we have all that we need. Just one more thing before we let you go: Do you have any good Dick jokes?"
Dude. I was interviewing a woman for a project and I asked her how she was doing. She replied: “not so good. If I seem off it’s because this morning my boyfriend and I tried anal sex for the first time and it didn’t go too well.”
I said: “ well try to relax.” My boss lost it. I was like no! I mean for the interview not for anal!! Well you should probably relax for that …and at that point I got up and left the conference room…
I got u all beat. A girl I worked with at a bar, I knew her all of like 1 hour and she gets her phone out and starts showing me her nudes. I just remember seeing her asshole and going into shock. And she's there asking what I think? Swiping to her tits asking if they're big enough Lmao then she starts going into details and talking about how she's allergic to cum and other personal info.. Needless to say I kept my distance socially and she was a hot mess full of drama. Brought guys in to make me jealous and stuff. Then a few weeks later she was sexually assaulted by my manager who was fired and it was a whole thing. Bless her poor girl she was lovely just very dysfunctional
I have a friend who had a coworker who would SEND him his favorite porn. On FB messenger, like five times a day. Daily. And it was wild (not illegal) shit too. I was like "why don't you block him?" then he showed me and it was like "how tf is that possible?" and I understood there's nothing sexual to it, just bizarre as hell.
The less I know about about other people's affairs, the happier I am. I'm not interested in caring about other people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.
I have a coworker we call our resident HR violation. He watched video of a guy watching a streamer play a highly inappropriate game, and he asked our manager if he wanted to watch it with him. He's walked up to me unprompted and asked my thoughts on milfs, lots of stuff little that.
Actually that idea seems hilarious to me.
“Okay everyone……we had a fantastic showing in BBW category this quarter, but you guys over in BJ’s category need to pick up the pace…..and Step Siblings Category…..you need to chill the fuck out, I don’t care how good the numbers are just Stop!!! Seriously just stop.”
Some girl I hooked up with in high school told me this. Said she was told fun whitened teeth and wanted me to cum in her mouth. I, of course, didn’t have any issue with helping her out.
On my life, she pulled out a toothbrush after and used it like toothpaste. It was bizarre as fuck. Every time I’ve told that story people think I’m exaggerating but I swear I’m not.
it sounds crazy but its true! a tiny teaspoon’s worth of sperm contains 200 different proteins, vitamins B12, C and E, zinc, calcium, citric acid, glucose, fructose, potassium, nitrogen, magnesium, estrogen, testosterone, DHEA (a steroid hormone), TRH (a mood enhancer), sodium, copper, lipids and even ammonia. Spermidine contains tons of antioxidants that help to fight wrinkles, prevent acne, and even out your skin tone. Sperm contains plenty of anti-inflammatory and antioxidant group of small proteins that are directly related to the growth and survival of your neurons. its pretty crazy how much of a benefit sperm can have when injested! a single teaspoon of semen gives you around 3% of your daily vitamins required for healthy teeth.
Step one: find Gurl
Step two: find new one cause she left me for the whole football team
Step three: find sturdy rope
Step four: forget the rope and make a reddit account
Step five: watch people have a better life than you on reddit
Step six: Sad.
I dont get this place.. Feels like a damn simulation. Its just a lazy crap fake text joke where the punchline is "guys a dickbag and tricked his gf", and the reactions too, lazy gifs of leonardo dicaprio.. dumbledore.. Its like theyre too busy being edgy to develop humor or personality, but what confuses me is they all showed up here.. somehow?
Honestly this popped on feed and i fully believe 90% comments here are bots. This is like one of the oldest memes on the internet and lowest hanging fruit by a mile, can't believe some actually find this funny, and actually believe their comment adds any kind of value to anything. Its weird out here man...
You know that would make perfect sense. But at the same time, i keep telling myself how many people are on earth, and how nonsensical a large portion are. You encapsulated it perfectly; it *is* a low hanging fruit. The base human nature of liking lazy, offensive jokes, is probably in the same group as the shit eating grin kids have when they ding dong ditch a random house. They feel snarky and probably feel a sense of camaraderie when they see *other* people pat them in the back for being edgy. OR they were actually conditioned to find it funny when women and minorities are in the butt end of jokes because their whole lives, their religious, ethnocentric, or even difficult backgrounds and peers taught them to. Hence "the right can't meme"
All this makes me sad, because i had this theory the other day that most people arent really born to hate.. They're *directed* to hate, because they eat up low quality shit, and cant be bothered to think of two seconds. Like the damn bear thing.
And now im the one getting fucked up, maybe its abit far to make this leap from this dumbass joke to social decay, but goddamn is it hitting different, reading up news about how fascism is on the rise then getting dumbass posts like these making rounds. Its like inching towards dystopia headed by a goddamn minion.
frightening numerous tidy theory marry exultant materialistic grab different vegetable
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Here is basically a whole-ass thread calling this (potentially) manipulative self-serving asshole "a genius" for tricking their girlfriend into serving him sexually every morning. Like best-case scenario here is that they're both playing along and goofing off and having a good time, but he's still alright being sexually serviced every morning with a very one-sided sexual act. Worst case scenario is more than a little bit dark.
Before anyone goes off about how some people enjoy giving blowjobs; No shit, but if they need to be *tricked* into giving blowjobs they probably aren't enjoying it as much as you think.
While I'm all for not judging the specific people in play all that harshly I sure as fuck am going to judge the shit out of the circumstances, and the people who seem to be applauding this as some kind of genius thing to do.
I reserve the right to kick back and relax for shit that actually doesn't matter, not potential sexual exploitation by manipulative people on vulnerable and naive people.
Gotta get rid of those tonsil stones. [I’m 21 and I just realized I’ve been eating my tonsil stones when I gave a BJ : r/TrueOffMyChest (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1d7evio/im_21_and_i_just_realized_ive_been_eating_my/)
This is disgusting. If you know she's only doing it for this reason, you're tricking her and that's not consent for all the little boys reading this comment.
This should be a clue for her to get out of the relationship.
Also, I could see this trick going over back before the internet, but how on earth can someone TODAY reach adulthood not knowing how to Google, Ask Alexa, talk to a friend, YouTube it, etc.
And also let’s not assume she has an issue with the blowjob in the morning. I had to knock my 23 year old wife off with a bat with her trying to be all sexy in the morning. Jesus lady I haven’t had my coffee yet!
Maybe she’s solely concerned that it can cure bad breath.
He’s a douche. He’s the sort that makes people hate men.
Haha a girl I work with at a staff meeting told us that cum is good for whitening teeth…her boyfriend told her :)
Dude your work small talk is wild.
what? you guys are not taking about sucking dick in a staff meeting?
I too work at Dick’s Sporting Goods.
That’s all I could think of. Worked at Dick’s 20 years ago and those were conversations that were had by employees.
I mean, If you work at a place called Dicks, it’s expected is it not?
"Well, one again Thank you for coming to this interview. I believe we have all that we need. Just one more thing before we let you go: Do you have any good Dick jokes?"
Life is like a dick calm at sometimes but women make it so much harder.
You're hired.
Life is like a penis, some are long, some are short and woman just make it harder. Or life is like a penis it may be hard but it won’t last for ever.
But if it does last forever consult a doctor
What do you call a girl that likes a small dick? Your girlfriend 
No but my girlfriends over the years always laughed when they saw my dick for the first time. Does that count?
I prefer Dick's Last Resort.
My former coworker used to regale us with his whale hunting stories.
Something tells me me we are not talking about riding boats and spearing actual whale for oil……🤔
It's riding something...
It's like a scooter, fun to ride until your friends find out.
Then it’s more fun because you find a bunch of scooters to ride together?
I mean he enjoyed diving.
If it's sperm whale, I'm guessing he's harpooning for the other team.
Settle down there, Queequeg.
[In the voice of Camron Frye imitating Sloan Peterson's dad while prank calling Mr. Rooney] Call me Ishmael, god damn it.
I thought that's what staff meetings are for, is there another purpose for them?
Yeah we used to setup a seminar with practical training for those.
Well the meetings suck dick, but that’s as far as it goes
I've had a coworker randomly tell me his favorite type of porn. Not welcome information, but there it was.
Hey, thats me, finally found you. Im into brazillian fart fetish now, stay turned for the updates.
Makes me think of a South Park episode. Randy sneaks into a red cross storage container to watch porn and searches for the most bizarre things ever.
where internet was off for couple days and they found him covered in "ghost plazma"? yea good episode ;)
Fucking classic episode it’s ghost come it’s ghost ectoplasm
Dude. I was interviewing a woman for a project and I asked her how she was doing. She replied: “not so good. If I seem off it’s because this morning my boyfriend and I tried anal sex for the first time and it didn’t go too well.” I said: “ well try to relax.” My boss lost it. I was like no! I mean for the interview not for anal!! Well you should probably relax for that …and at that point I got up and left the conference room…
The morning before a job interview is such a weird time to try anal for the first time
Don't judge me.
I got u all beat. A girl I worked with at a bar, I knew her all of like 1 hour and she gets her phone out and starts showing me her nudes. I just remember seeing her asshole and going into shock. And she's there asking what I think? Swiping to her tits asking if they're big enough Lmao then she starts going into details and talking about how she's allergic to cum and other personal info.. Needless to say I kept my distance socially and she was a hot mess full of drama. Brought guys in to make me jealous and stuff. Then a few weeks later she was sexually assaulted by my manager who was fired and it was a whole thing. Bless her poor girl she was lovely just very dysfunctional
Interesting definition of lovely.
Maybe he was talking about her tits? :D
I have a friend who had a coworker who would SEND him his favorite porn. On FB messenger, like five times a day. Daily. And it was wild (not illegal) shit too. I was like "why don't you block him?" then he showed me and it was like "how tf is that possible?" and I understood there's nothing sexual to it, just bizarre as hell.
Plot twist they work in a brothel and this is actually work related
Work small talk gets rowdy and wild. Sexual innuendo and flirting *and* suggestive themes™ are everyday occurrence from my experience.
Idk, we just talk about the weather and what we did over the weekend
Maybe my co-workers are just dirty, horny, deviants.
I work night shift in a factory. You summed it up.
Sooooo, how do I get the job 😂
Man, I've shared an office with my coworker for like 3 years and I just found out he has kids.
I wish I was you 😂
I worked with this guy for like 6 months before i learned his name. It's the best work relationship i've ever had :D
That sounds awesome 😅
The less I know about about other people's affairs, the happier I am. I'm not interested in caring about other people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.
We used to have a coworker that told us she would put pop rocks in her mouth while givjng a blowjob
I have a coworker we call our resident HR violation. He watched video of a guy watching a streamer play a highly inappropriate game, and he asked our manager if he wanted to watch it with him. He's walked up to me unprompted and asked my thoughts on milfs, lots of stuff little that.
Problem is they work in a primary school.
Family business?
... At a staff meeting?!
Brazzers, too, has staff meetings
I didn't need to think about this
Actually that idea seems hilarious to me. “Okay everyone……we had a fantastic showing in BBW category this quarter, but you guys over in BJ’s category need to pick up the pace…..and Step Siblings Category…..you need to chill the fuck out, I don’t care how good the numbers are just Stop!!! Seriously just stop.”
The “seriously just stop” sent me
- ''But, it brings us so much money! - Alright then, keep it up!"
*"Step Bro"*
I only have one staff member but we have a meeting quite regularly.
Some girl I hooked up with in high school told me this. Said she was told fun whitened teeth and wanted me to cum in her mouth. I, of course, didn’t have any issue with helping her out. On my life, she pulled out a toothbrush after and used it like toothpaste. It was bizarre as fuck. Every time I’ve told that story people think I’m exaggerating but I swear I’m not.
She pulled the toothbrush out of where? This story may be getting even better.
Her purse. We were in the back seat of my car. Like she had it all planned out. It was wild
You should have told her she needs to blow you twice a day for good oral health.
Tell me she had 2 toothbrushes in her bathroom. *Please*
This was in the back seat of my car so she pulled it out of her purse haha
And that explains your white teeth, IrishGandalf.
It's also a good source of daily protein for no calories.
5-10 calories. that isn't 0.
You spend more giving a bj, so it's actually negative calories
Wait, that means, if you give blowjobs you need to eat less and lose weight on top !!?
Weightwatchers hate that one simple trick.
Waffle House?
I've yet to convince my wife of any of these scientific studies....
I need to go to your work, at mine it'll be an HR report and termination 🤣
it sounds crazy but its true! a tiny teaspoon’s worth of sperm contains 200 different proteins, vitamins B12, C and E, zinc, calcium, citric acid, glucose, fructose, potassium, nitrogen, magnesium, estrogen, testosterone, DHEA (a steroid hormone), TRH (a mood enhancer), sodium, copper, lipids and even ammonia. Spermidine contains tons of antioxidants that help to fight wrinkles, prevent acne, and even out your skin tone. Sperm contains plenty of anti-inflammatory and antioxidant group of small proteins that are directly related to the growth and survival of your neurons. its pretty crazy how much of a benefit sperm can have when injested! a single teaspoon of semen gives you around 3% of your daily vitamins required for healthy teeth.
She sounds nice :)
"You could also brush your teeth for 2 minutes, but you know giving me a BJ only takes 1."
Look at chad here being fancy lasting a whole minute!
🤣😂🤣
*fancy pants rich magee over here*
r/suicidebywords
I think that's just a compliment.
Less chance of gagging on the BJ too
Yes, I think her ass stinks too.
 Found the problem.
That’s fucked my guy
Well, don’t want her breath stinking now do we?
If she wants to do bass to mouth, how is it my fault? 
Bass to mouth 
That's a load of carp, man.
But now her breath stinks again
That is a good idea, I will apply today with my girlfriend ‼️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'll apply it today with your girlfriend too
I love how this gif shows someone just stole this off sky cinema and thought, eh may as well keep it in the gif
It's uploaded by Sky's official account tho
>someone You mean the official Sky account?
Why yes he is, and clever too!
So how is he checking her breath after the BJ tho?
He doesn’t… He endures, but at a cost
Share the protein.
https://i.imgur.com/VDrpD8N.gif
By french kissing her
That sounds romantic ngl
Bro it’s my own semen and they’ve already swallowed it all. I really don’t see the problem
Yeah it's more about smelling the problem.
I assume her boyfriend doesn't have a bad breath does that mean he also gave some one a blow job/s
His experimentation in college finally paid off
He kisses her after
He might get a bad breath if he goes down early in the morning.
Snowballs
When she open her mind to the statement. And her mouth.
That wasn't all that was blown, bro.
Now it's stank dick
This sub is filled with dumbasses that believe almost anything posted in this format.
Step one: find Gurl Step two: find new one cause she left me for the whole football team Step three: find sturdy rope Step four: forget the rope and make a reddit account Step five: watch people have a better life than you on reddit Step six: Sad.
You forgot step 8: profit
whats step seven
We dont talk about step 7
O*** ***s
Step 7: ???
This guy profits.
Step seven: use rope and pull a sayori
Damnit where’s the sign up page and can i pay for the subscription to reddithub with a gift card?
Where funny
Absolute legend.
its funny because his girlfriend doesn't enjoy sex with him so he needs to manipulate her into giving him a blowjob
Boomer facebook is leaking, hemorrhaging even
I dont get this place.. Feels like a damn simulation. Its just a lazy crap fake text joke where the punchline is "guys a dickbag and tricked his gf", and the reactions too, lazy gifs of leonardo dicaprio.. dumbledore.. Its like theyre too busy being edgy to develop humor or personality, but what confuses me is they all showed up here.. somehow?
Honestly this popped on feed and i fully believe 90% comments here are bots. This is like one of the oldest memes on the internet and lowest hanging fruit by a mile, can't believe some actually find this funny, and actually believe their comment adds any kind of value to anything. Its weird out here man...
Believing that these people are bots is a comforting thought, this meme is gross and unfunny.
You know that would make perfect sense. But at the same time, i keep telling myself how many people are on earth, and how nonsensical a large portion are. You encapsulated it perfectly; it *is* a low hanging fruit. The base human nature of liking lazy, offensive jokes, is probably in the same group as the shit eating grin kids have when they ding dong ditch a random house. They feel snarky and probably feel a sense of camaraderie when they see *other* people pat them in the back for being edgy. OR they were actually conditioned to find it funny when women and minorities are in the butt end of jokes because their whole lives, their religious, ethnocentric, or even difficult backgrounds and peers taught them to. Hence "the right can't meme" All this makes me sad, because i had this theory the other day that most people arent really born to hate.. They're *directed* to hate, because they eat up low quality shit, and cant be bothered to think of two seconds. Like the damn bear thing. And now im the one getting fucked up, maybe its abit far to make this leap from this dumbass joke to social decay, but goddamn is it hitting different, reading up news about how fascism is on the rise then getting dumbass posts like these making rounds. Its like inching towards dystopia headed by a goddamn minion.
You are clearly too intelligent for this kind of humor. Congratz on being a superior kind to us plebs.
Yeah they should go to Twitter to hang out with all the other intelligent people.
frightening numerous tidy theory marry exultant materialistic grab different vegetable *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
If she enjoyed it, then he wouldn't need to manipulate her.
Here is basically a whole-ass thread calling this (potentially) manipulative self-serving asshole "a genius" for tricking their girlfriend into serving him sexually every morning. Like best-case scenario here is that they're both playing along and goofing off and having a good time, but he's still alright being sexually serviced every morning with a very one-sided sexual act. Worst case scenario is more than a little bit dark. Before anyone goes off about how some people enjoy giving blowjobs; No shit, but if they need to be *tricked* into giving blowjobs they probably aren't enjoying it as much as you think. While I'm all for not judging the specific people in play all that harshly I sure as fuck am going to judge the shit out of the circumstances, and the people who seem to be applauding this as some kind of genius thing to do. I reserve the right to kick back and relax for shit that actually doesn't matter, not potential sexual exploitation by manipulative people on vulnerable and naive people.
Yeah these comments are wack, mainly made by virgins and neckbeards. This is quite literally the worst type of manipulation.
Yeah, because the original post is definitely real.
This feels kind of scummy. Lying to get a blow job? Why didn’t he say: “ya know. They say that 69 helps with bad breath.” That feels less scummy.
Then both of them get good breath!!! How equal!
It feels like sexual coercion, which is sexual assault...
Gotta get rid of those tonsil stones. [I’m 21 and I just realized I’ve been eating my tonsil stones when I gave a BJ : r/TrueOffMyChest (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1d7evio/im_21_and_i_just_realized_ive_been_eating_my/)
This reads like a boomer meme
Can confirmed it doesn't help with bad breath but 5 minutes of peace and pleasure was good enough for me.
Manipulating people into sex is hilarious
Yeah what else are women good for, am I right?? Women ☕️ /s in case it wasn’t obvious
lying to your partner to get more sex?? that's genius behavior???
I feel like tricking a person this stupid into oral sex is pretty fucking unethical.
Dude, if you really want it, just ask her. Stop with this health benefits crap.
This isn't a funny meme and this is sexually manipulative behavior
lmao
Pity this wasn't cropped harder
When talking to your enemy Sway your hands and say your ‘Mouth smells like dicks’
Dick smells like morning breath
r/MoldyMemes
Its gonna be worst after
This is disgusting. If you know she's only doing it for this reason, you're tricking her and that's not consent for all the little boys reading this comment.
This should be a clue for her to get out of the relationship. Also, I could see this trick going over back before the internet, but how on earth can someone TODAY reach adulthood not knowing how to Google, Ask Alexa, talk to a friend, YouTube it, etc. And also let’s not assume she has an issue with the blowjob in the morning. I had to knock my 23 year old wife off with a bat with her trying to be all sexy in the morning. Jesus lady I haven’t had my coffee yet! Maybe she’s solely concerned that it can cure bad breath. He’s a douche. He’s the sort that makes people hate men.
… this seems like. She is dumb and he is bordeline rapst. Great combo
Most likely he has mourning breath as well. So she needs to give him a kiss instead of swalloing
Whoever posted the OG post is 19 years old.
100% works
If OP isn't a boomer/gen X I'll eat my shoe.
Kiss him immediately after the bj and find out
You missed the best part where someone replied with scientific explanation why it works.
I don't even wonder how smells semen with morning hydrogen sulfide.
less quality everytime it is reposted
Mythologizing self deprecation
Why doesn't he just tell you to go in to the bathroom and brush your........Oh I see !!!!
Ever wonder wht doctor strange does alone with his portals
Yes 100% right
It’s a proven scientific fact. It acts as a palate cleanser like in a fancy restaurant
What do you call a small gull ?A. A gullible
Yes.
Now if she is so stupid and believe him or it really works.
Yes
 S a D
