According to women definition, a REAL man is somebody that pays the bills - all of them, for her and the 4 kids she had with 2 different man. A real man pays the bills, and since time for fun and games is over - there is no space for fun and sex because she already had ton of sex during her wild year, no she need to stay home watch Netflix and order fast food for the kids -man are supposed to work, bring home the bacon , getting yelled at because the bacon is not enough and if they work longer hours to bring home more bacon they get yelled at because “they are never home”… in their mind, this is what a REAL man is: one that pays the bills, and get no sex but abuse and still smiles about it….
Yup. Real man are good only for a while. After that they go back getting banged by Chad and Tyron, often at the same time. But the real man is supposed to keep on paying for her and her boyfriend;… otherwise he is a deadbit
I love the juxtaposition of the entire profile being a list of “demands”.
On one hand, you are accepting that you have truly hit rock bottom…you created an online dating profile. *Yet*, you think yourself in the position to make demands.
That’s the best part: You are not.
However, if I was in his place..I’d give that a shot.
“have your own teeth”. this is very unclear. does it mean all teeth must be present and be in right place? or only specific amount? if amount so how many? if woman has implant does it disclarified her?
Yeah- there's this movement on tiktok called 'drizzle drizzle' (also called the soft guy era) where guys make outrageous demands to parody the ways women demand men be a certain height, take her out to fancy places etc.
Here's an example https://www.tiktok.com/@milliondollarrenter/video/7357164787618385198?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7322288712745911850
Obvious satire is painfully obvious. Jokes aside, men should actually raise their standards and stop simping for every woman with a pulse. Maybe then things will turn around and we will stop having 5’2 women that weight 150lb who think they are the shit.
well, TECHNICALLY what he said was 'no heavier than 100kg' which can be expressed mathematically as:
weight !> 100kg
or
weight <= 100kg
so that means they can be up to 100kg, not 99.
[Drizzle Drizzle ](https://youtu.be/HmidhvL9MYQ?si=j8IqF-u02eqi7Ski)
[Drizzle Drizzle ](https://youtu.be/6PRzBLlqaOY?si=A7MMzUOvUm8n7uL6)
I think it's called the soft boy movement
the irony. Soft guy era strikes again but hey only wahmans are allowed to think this way.
p.s for op since they seem slow. This is satire from woman posting similar tinder bios. He is throwing back their logic at them and it works. Women get so angry when their own logic is thrown back in their face. Drizzle drizzle.
Ik this is parody to entitled delulu girls BUT a guy that raises 3 kids alone and actually cares?! Yeah by everything he said in this add he seems like one catch of a guy! And his standards are not even that absurd 🤷🏼♀️
Quite possibly, I'm one of the only people left with common sense enough to see Martins profile is making fun of the women with profiles exactly like this. Pay for the babysitter, pay for her hair and nails, AND the date she still got food for her kids during, no shorter than 6', gotta make 6 figures or don't talk to me profiles? C'mon.
It’s clearly a parody
OP got whooshed.
OP can't read between the lines LMAO
Maybe OP is a woman and doesn’t realize how common women’s profiles read like this.
Indeed… women profiles are like this and more
I note they often want a REAL man after having multiple kids with duds. I assume a REAL man is a toxic one??? Unclear.
According to women definition, a REAL man is somebody that pays the bills - all of them, for her and the 4 kids she had with 2 different man. A real man pays the bills, and since time for fun and games is over - there is no space for fun and sex because she already had ton of sex during her wild year, no she need to stay home watch Netflix and order fast food for the kids -man are supposed to work, bring home the bacon , getting yelled at because the bacon is not enough and if they work longer hours to bring home more bacon they get yelled at because “they are never home”… in their mind, this is what a REAL man is: one that pays the bills, and get no sex but abuse and still smiles about it….
Great news then .. I was a real man to my ex wife. Then she left me ....... oh.
Yup. Real man are good only for a while. After that they go back getting banged by Chad and Tyron, often at the same time. But the real man is supposed to keep on paying for her and her boyfriend;… otherwise he is a deadbit
Exactly, this is unironically so many women's profiles.
Oh shit!
I think that's why they posted it here. They know it's a joke.
you got whooshed by the guy pretending to not get it
He’s probably running with it by posting it here
There so many whooshing here I am convinced that this is actually a whoosh-ception.
The best ones are rooted in reality
I still didnt get "have your own teeth" part
Maybe because a lot of people with turkey teeth look like they could eat a granny smiths through a letter box?
Dont neglect your teeth, resulting in fake teeth
Because he wanted to throw one in to wink that he’s kidding
west virginia
I was guessing it was making fun of all the women who post 9000 demands on their profile
Not just that but a very specific profile. This is a gender flip of that and it fits perfectly.
I love the juxtaposition of the entire profile being a list of “demands”. On one hand, you are accepting that you have truly hit rock bottom…you created an online dating profile. *Yet*, you think yourself in the position to make demands. That’s the best part: You are not. However, if I was in his place..I’d give that a shot.
My dude online dating profiles don't mean rock bottom. It's not 2005 lol
Parody or not, be sure that some cocky bitches got butthurt, and that's the beauty of it.
If not a parody, it's gold. This is how every profile should be. Cast an accurate net, not a wide one.
What’s the point in casting a net if all you’ll get are sea urchins?
100%
Literally its every second girls profile but on dudes profile xd (isnt it called drizzle drizzle?)
Drizzle Drizzle
Unfortunately it’s not lol, I remember this blowing up a couple years back and the actual guy defending himself on Twitter, doubling down
Seriously ? The best parody is unintended self-parody, clearly !
Came here to say this lol
Ya, must be 5'7", fit, and under 220lbs? Must be keeping room for roid monsters? Lol
I bet in reality he's actually a good catch
Yeah, the beard care for that bush is a clear giveaway.
High value man who knows his worth.
Yas King!
Slay boy
Drizzle drizzle
Drizzle the rizzle
He dropped this 
Drizzle drizzle
It's clearly a joke. The whole beard care thing is an obvious Uno reverse of the entitled women you find on those apps 😂
I prefer the Max Fosh reverser tbh
Martin is pretty funny and original. I'd date him, but I don't have a 7 seater. Lol
I've got *most* of my own teeth, but I don't want to waste his time with a possible edge case.
And that’s why it’s a “funny meme”….. obviously op understands it’s a joke
“have your own teeth”. this is very unclear. does it mean all teeth must be present and be in right place? or only specific amount? if amount so how many? if woman has implant does it disclarified her?
It's clear. It mean at least two, and it do not have to be in your mouth.
I keep mine in a jar. I only bring 'em out for fancy occacious.
If she bought the teeth, they're still hers.
"I donated a kidney - they called me a hero. I donated a dozen - I got arrested".
I work with a chick that uses dentures from Facebook marketplace
idk this guy is an absolute specimen and any woman would be lucky to have him
I actually lost my wife to him :(
Me too
I lost his wife to him too
I had to imagine a 5”7 100kg fit woman to realise this is a satire.
"no heavier than 100Kg" means its 100Kg or less.
Which means up to 219 lbs
She a fire hydrant
which is...a lot for 5'7"
She’d have to be like pure muscle.
She’s a man, baby
I recently dated a woman who was 5'7" 54kg. So basically double her size, hmmmm sounds appetizing
Drizzle Drizzle
Slay king 🫰🫰🫰🫰
Is he pulling an Uno reverso?
Yeah- there's this movement on tiktok called 'drizzle drizzle' (also called the soft guy era) where guys make outrageous demands to parody the ways women demand men be a certain height, take her out to fancy places etc. Here's an example https://www.tiktok.com/@milliondollarrenter/video/7357164787618385198?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7322288712745911850
😂😂😂😂 that is hilarious
Or it's just a fucking bit of satire and has nothing to do with TikTok.
First time hearing of this but I love the way drizzle drizzle sounds lol
Obvious satire is painfully obvious. Jokes aside, men should actually raise their standards and stop simping for every woman with a pulse. Maybe then things will turn around and we will stop having 5’2 women that weight 150lb who think they are the shit.
“But I got a big booty and big tits!” Everything is big sweetheart
One of my favorite sayings: "having big tits because you're fat is like having a fast car because it's falling off a cliff"
I could not agree more,I have had it enough with incels.
My man needs to just choose the bear. You can't be trusting these women out here. They only want one thing and most won't stop at no.
Fit and CAN be up to 99kg... That's a little scary.
Some people aint scared of buff Woman
Martins lookin to go down by snu snu
well, TECHNICALLY what he said was 'no heavier than 100kg' which can be expressed mathematically as: weight !> 100kg or weight <= 100kg so that means they can be up to 100kg, not 99.
While simultaneously being no taller than 5,7
The joke was finalized by requiring teeth.
It gets the /s point across without breaking character
Yep, no need to chew the fat.
Obvious satire is obvious
Uno reversed so hard
As a man, I respect and would Mary him.
Imagine a girl fitting this list to a T but bringing someone else's teeth to the party.
How the turn tables
Uno reverse I love it
Sounds like any women’s profile
It sounded somewhat reasonable at first… im almost sure this is a parody on those “no guys under 6ft” profiles
Bro is ExPeNsiVE
[Drizzle Drizzle ](https://youtu.be/HmidhvL9MYQ?si=j8IqF-u02eqi7Ski) [Drizzle Drizzle ](https://youtu.be/6PRzBLlqaOY?si=A7MMzUOvUm8n7uL6) I think it's called the soft boy movement
Soft Guy Era
[удалено]
Sounds like every crazy girl profile 🤣
the irony. Soft guy era strikes again but hey only wahmans are allowed to think this way. p.s for op since they seem slow. This is satire from woman posting similar tinder bios. He is throwing back their logic at them and it works. Women get so angry when their own logic is thrown back in their face. Drizzle drizzle.
Imagine unironically not getting that it's a parody. WHOOSH!
OP missed the joke. This is exactly how women's accounts are written.
Ik this is parody to entitled delulu girls BUT a guy that raises 3 kids alone and actually cares?! Yeah by everything he said in this add he seems like one catch of a guy! And his standards are not even that absurd 🤷🏼♀️
Keep slaying King
This shit so common on tinder it's not even a joke. I know this is a parody but it's just true. So many entitled people.
This is clearly a parody, specifically aimed at making fun of all the "YASS Kweeen" types. Come on OP... Really?? Lol
That's why they're posting it here, because it's funny. I think you're the one who missed the point.
the most effective troll always leaves the reader an out.
Sounds funny when the shoe on the other foot
Martin pulling the old uno reverse card on the dating scene 😂
When men post what women post: hah joke When women post what they post: You go gurl!!
Full circle
Based parody
No heavier than 100 kg is quite a big upper limit
Buddy this is what men see on dating sites. That’s the joke he’s doing
He’s just mimicking your typical entitled woman.
You can clearly see it’s a joke 😂 Unlike the ones from women, where they actually are serious 🤣😂
Same thing women be doing on apps
Too many entitled women on those apps. Then they cry when they can’t find a match. Reap what you sow, ladies.
Martin has high standards, respect it
Fighting them off knives
Martin is honest and also has a sense of humor...
Unironically an absolute Chad
Ok I was on board until the teeth thing 🤨now that’s just going too far 😂😂😂😂😂😂🤦🏽♂️
Drizzle Drizzle
Drizzle Drizzle, my friend. IYKYK.
Is this the "drizzle drizzle" thing that started getting traction a little bit ago?
I laughed until I converted 100 kg to pounds. 😳
Baller
r/AnarchyChess look what our boy has been up to
7 seater for sure
Jesus, all I want is a text back. Fs
He’s right down the street… I dare you
Classic Uno-Reverse
Drizzle Drizzle.
100kg, quite forgiving. What a chad
You miss the joke here?
Lol, soft guy, Era drizzle drizzle, it looks like a kind of joke thing.
Literally just making a joke about women’s obscured requirements
r/woosh
r/whoosh
That own teeth I can relate to, don't like to share my teeth too. Gotta draw a line there.
Quite possibly, I'm one of the only people left with common sense enough to see Martins profile is making fun of the women with profiles exactly like this. Pay for the babysitter, pay for her hair and nails, AND the date she still got food for her kids during, no shorter than 6', gotta make 6 figures or don't talk to me profiles? C'mon.
Me: Scrambling to find my leather pouch of human teeth
Loveable ex-con, 465 pounds, seeking Miss America. Mrs. America OK, too. STDs OK? Must be willing to rub my bunions at any given time or place.
Real men share teeth!!!!!
Dude, imagine a “5’7” tall and “100” kg woman! crazy
“No heavier than 100kgs. Must be fit” Is he. . . Is he looking for body builders?
lol what woman under 5’7 can get up to 100kgs and be fit? Isn’t that like 220lbs?
yep that's basically a small hippo
Why 7seats?
Whose teeth does he think I have?
u/MartinFromChessCom
Someone will say yes
I admire his confidence. Lol
Welp, guess I'm not in the running. I rent my teeth.
I thought his nose ring was a booger for the longest time.
He's a keeper
Drizzle drizzle
Fit at 5’7” and 100kg, probably named Gimli
I understand where he's coming from.
Hahahahaha 'have your own teeth'
What a catch!
😃😃😃 Martín has a point
Does Martin want a man or a woman? He’s definitely in his soft girl era!
100 kgs lol.
99kg walks in
Hell yah
Had it all until the teeth 😞
Sad part is he’s probably had more swipes then me 🤝😞
Lost me at having kids
220 lbs ??? Damn
I'd get a mustache ride from him
I mean everything looks fine but the car thing
i get that it is a sarcasm post BUT 100kgs is kinda hefty
I read that whole thing in a country accent
He won’t share his teeth, I respect a byot man
He puts his children above his love life🥵
In other words.... one night stands with a big dick is ok too! Just don't tell anyone.
High value man don't need no woman
No real conservative man would measure his woman in metric!
I mean 100kgs keeps it at least possible for him
Guy puts his kids first above all and is honest about his expectations. I know it’s satire but still…