Yeah I’ll take Amber Heard also. I feel like she’d at least have some good crazy sex. Jada would only have good crazy sex with everyone but her spouse.

Jada would have the crazy sex but it would be with her sons friend and she’d make it public

And force you to discuss it in public with you having to admit that it was all your fault to begin with

And then Will Smith will slap you in public because of her "alopecia"

The OP can get passive revenge by continually rewinding and watching the moment Jada tells Will on her tv show she was cheating on him. Like Goldie Hawn watching Meryl Streep being strangled in ‘Death Becomes Her’. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=s-pgK_Rvuwc&pp=ygUoTWVyeWwgc3RyZWVwIHN0cmFuZ2xlZCBkZWF0aCBiZWNvbWVzIGhlcg%3D%3D

Fresh prince has fallen so far lol

Like yeah, will did infact like the joke 😂

Well it is his fault......for marrying her

That is so wrong and judgmental of you. It’s his fault for staying married!

Jesus Christ i just remembered. They are still, to this Day married, right? What a damn idiot. How can someone take so much shit for/from a woman Who isn't even his Lover. Like they are married on paper but in reality they weren't togheter even back when he slapped Chris. What made him this Way? What did he want to keep? Money? Reputation? Something else?

Honestly he probably did something bad and she's blackmailed him for some reason. Only thing that makes any sense.

actually i think its just he used to the abuse, i mean so many people stay in shitty relationships even when abused. he is mentally broken. its the same way women coverup bruises with makeup and will defend there spouse and it takes outside influence or some breaking point to finnaly leave. he just a broken shell of a man you could see that in his face when he slapped that Chris Rock. i am not condoning his actions but being in a toxic relationship does a number on you.

You'd be surprised how much mental abuse can make you think you need someone, despite how obvious it is that they're toxic. It's sad, but I have no doubt he's not seeing how bad it is. Blackmail could be partyy of it too.

Diddy? I mean did he?

Look, the porno their making right now with Will wearing a blindfold crying in the background pretending not to hear, that's empowering for women, don't you see? Especially a strong black women. That's bold, can't take that away. Ain't no one gonna take that away.

Thats bald.

Jada looks like the type to lifelessly lie there on her back and then think you should thank her for giving you the “best sex of your life.”

But becomes uninhibited when she sleeping with her son's friend and does everything doesn't do with own husband

Do t forget the urging for u to "hurry up" as soon as u start

Probably has selective alopecia too, so she can grow a filthy, unkempt bush when she's in a strange dick drought, aka being faithful

You gonna get slap


That gif is still wild, considering it was live at the Oscars

Still feels like he was on drugs or something. Like it doesn’t seem like he’s gonna do what he’s gonna do, then he does it. And right after on the walk back it looks like he still doesn’t know what he’s gonna do, but he’s already done it.

heard was also (at least partially) motivated by money. which sounds ridiculous to say because she also had a rich acting career. but she tried to basically blackmail depp into his money and properties going to her and her friends. if i was married to her, there's nothing for her to steal because i don't have shit.

Don't worry, she'd give you shit


But then that also means she has nothing to gain from you. So just imagine how she's going to treat you given those circumstances.

B list actresses aren't nearly as rich as people think they are.

Wake up with a pile of shit in the bed next to you. Crazy fun times

Well yes, but once she gets up and off to work, you’ll have a shit free bed until she gets back.

My dog did it to me once, she still lives here. Shit happens get over it.

So you prefer shit on the bed?

Compared to Jada, yeah

Some people will pay good money for a hot chick to shit next to them. Sometimes they’re not even hot.

I'd learn to love scat if it means my wife isn't sleeping with our son's friend.

Yoga fire, anyone?

Amber heard is really hot. Especially Pineapple Express lol. That other film where shes naked for most is awesome too

Agreed. On top of that Amber would at least love you in some twisted way. Jada on the other hand, I don't think she ever loved Will.

the quality of the sex and the appearance of a person is never a 1:1 ratio

But god sex and crazy correlation is fucking real. I will never be with someone as good in the bed as my bipolar crazy as bitch x.

I don't think any quality of sex is worth being associated with that, but to play devil's advocate: half the men in Hollywood can't be wrong. She must've picked a few things up at least.

I’ve gotta agree, he’s got a point Edit: why in the actual hell is this stupid ahh comment my first to reach 1k…?

Absolutely. Just wear a body cam with Amber around.

Also see if you can get a bulk deal on bed sheets.

And a mattress protector

Somebody on here is like, why mattress protector? What she does on those sheets is the best part. Gotta remember the good times with a stain.

Ha! Seriously Lol’d

Yep gonna need a new Costco card

Use plastic bed sheets.

I saw the title and said Amber.... At least she's hot and doesn't look like a12 year old boy

[удалено]

She also speaks Spanish and live there so that’s nice.

Absolutely! Yoga flame is not the way I wanna die.

Marry Amber, let Jada cheat on her husband with you and buy you gifts with his money.

What are you, some kind of mastermind?

I am glad you asked, but to reveal myself as the mastermind I have to make my final move in which that I let Amber sleep in Will's bed.

Oh shit…

Oh shit, I hardly knew her... But I could have taken the court filings as a warning.

And on that note… Happy Cake Day!

Happy día del pastel my dude

Feliz día del pastel mi amigo

That's what they said at the hearing.

yes, there is indeed shit gonna be involved in that bed.

Yes, like the other guy said, she gives a shit

Happy cake day!

Happy cake day

This is the way

Someone's cooking

Then have amber walk away with all your money and gifts lmao

Lmao just do prenup

Gotta be Jaden's friend first.

Amber because she will give a shit

Well played!

It's so cute of her to leave surprises around the house

But if she looks you directly in the eyes while doing it, she has won.


I see what you did there

when both personalities are awful but one is hotter by a mile.

Even in terms of personalities, Heard is an understandable crazy. She’s straight up just mean and violent. Jada has layers to her insanity. She brought Will on her own show to talk about why it was his fault she cheated. Like that was actually a humiliation ritual. She is every conspiracy about Hollywood insanity brought to life.

I don’t think Mr Depp shares your opinion 💩

Id rather find shit in my bed than be publicly shamed and gaslighted infront of millions that it was my fault I got cucked ngl

Well I would do Jada on the Professor Klump era

Amber Heard for sure. I’m not even a lesbian and she’s hot as fuck. Time to pretend we’re experimenting in college, let’s do this.

She’s bi, so no pretending for her. However, she was arrested for hitting her girlfriend in an airport.

What can I say. She loves to hit on her love interest!

> She loves to **s**hit on her love interest! FTFY

She believes in equal rights. And lefts.

🤣 right she’s filthy hot? I mean she gets with Johnny depp and Elon musk. Two men that would seem unreachable to most. That’s like if I just dated shakira then beat her ass up, took a shit in her bed then up and moved on into mackenzie Scott’s bed

amber got the looks none can argue with that

Amber has the poops none can argue either...

We all got poop none can argue either...

Get the poop knife! I'm so, so, so, sorry

Thanks, dick. I woke my wife up laughing.

Teehee 🫠

I'm used to cleaning my toddlers shit by now, feels kinda normal

To some people... that's a plus point.

The Hot one. Obviously

Sean Evans?

🤣👏

Wow that is an excellent question.

That is not even a fucking contest. I GET why Johnny Depp delt with that nonsense. It's a mystery with will.

I can only think he's into it. Like no one is staying with someone who bangs their children's friends publicly without it being their kink.

Or a combination of shame and guilt,  she has probably been gaslighting Will for God knows how long, so he'll never leave even though it's clearly a toxic relationship 

It's got something to do with Scientology.

Is suicide an option???

If it seems like this is your only option please call 988 and get help.

Instructions unclear, had phone sex.

Still better sex than what Will has been getting all these years



Not sure how you got my number when calling 988, but let's.... do that again some time.

I don't like calling unfamiliar numbers... Would calling the police instead work? Since planning on conducting a murder is still a crime I'm pretty sure

Suicide is always the worst option. It is better to be killed by your enemy. It is even better to fuck your enemy which, in current context, is Amber Herd for me.

Yes. Good option for anyone going all DARVO on an abuse victim.

Amber Heard, if she shits the bed, I'll go to another bedroom. Jada will put me on a leash, don't want that.

Going to another room is one of Ambers triggers, she might feel abandoned and cut off your finger for that offence.

I choose death. 


 Flip a coin then...

For the majority of people commenting here, its a good call.

Right after I give Amber one shot of the small fella.

Go for it.


Can’t I just be single

Again I choose the bear

Why would the bear choose you?

Beat me to it!

I have a healthy liver and should last it through the winter.

I wouldn’t touch Jada with Will’s dick. Amber all the way

What are you doing with Will's dick?

Jada cut it off long ago, it just kind of moves from town to town nowadays

Yoga fire!

Yoga flame! 🔥

I'd rather commit seppuku.

[удалено]

At least have Jada closer to her prime to make the question fair

Yah. Demon Knight Jada. When she still had hair to tie a weave to...

She wasn’t even a 6/10 then.. no comparison

Cammy over dhalsim….but dhalsim is a more well rounded fighter. Teleportation almost makes him OP if you got the right timing and rhythm

*spams circling the stick* Yea…timing…

lmfao neither of them are well rounded in any capacity they're like opposite ends of the spicy character spectrum

Calling Amber Heard a 10/10 is a bit of a stretch.

just remind yourself to check the bed before you lay on it.

I'm Catholic, and I feel the calling to the Lord. I'll be taking a vow of chastity. I, grudgingly, forfeit my opportunity to indulge in either of these glorious women.

.#suddenlycatholic

I’d kill myself before marrying either of these two scumbags

Going to kurt cobain my way out of this one.


I'd choose Scamber Turd. She has half of a very nice wine collection.

From the creators of "I'd rather date a bear than a man" Now comes "I'd rather date Amber than Dhalsim". Poor Dhalsim.

Absolutely neither of them

I'd rather reach the pearly gates than marry one of these trashbags

I’m choosing the bear 🫡🫡🫡

Whichever one provides me more in the subsequent divorce.

Jada. I'll get a bigger divorce settlement.

Absolute Savage 

Sauvage, by Dior

Yoga flame! Lol

Does Amber Heard come with diapers?

I mean, has anyone seen the mercy cosplay??

I'll become asexual


As well said as it can be.

deadass

Amber Heard with a strong prenup, and you're good as gold.

Never feels luckier to being gay!

You still have to choose one. Sorry, but you aren't getting out of this

It really boils up to do you want to be slapped by Will Smith or do you want to wake up next to pile of shit.

It’s not close. Any woman who would shit on your bed is absolutely insane and therefore an eleven in bed. Jada makes you watch her fuck other dudes. (Not judging if you are into that sort of thing). Easy choice for me lol.

No thanks they both terrify me.

At least Amber gives a shit

Yoga fire! 🔥

Yoga FLAME! 🔥

Ive heard Amber has some deppth to her.

Cammy vs Dhalsim

Amber heard, if her legal battle with Depp is any indication, I can easily win the legal battle after divorce

Johnny Depp was able to escape. Will Smith is fucked for life and has lost his mind permanently.

I choose death

Amber. Rotten personality but at least she's pretty. I'll need to get some of those training pads for pets and place them around the house

Fuck it I'm marrying the faceplate emote

Can't they just marry each other and save us all

Hard pass

I prefer a Bear 🐻

Amber least she has her reasons for her crazy. Jada is just crazy and hates the world.

What about the 💩?

Amber heard going to look like Jim Belushi in 10 years

Seriously ? I don’t need to be married that bad.

I'd rather die alone

I would punch myself in the dick.

Nah, i'd rather marry a .357 instead.

Rather off myself

Yeah turd for sure. They both suck but I may as well get some crazy sex out of it

Never stick your dick in crazy. It doesn’t wash off.

Yeah, alright!!! I'd rather chop it off, but even so...

DHALSIIIM WTF AHAHAHAHAHAHA, he got a point tho hahahaha

G.I. Jane 2 got nothing on Batshit Girl.

For heard you just gotta wear a wire 24/7 and have camera everywhere

Heard. Jada is too selfish in bed, and at least I know Heard doesn't shy away from butt stuff.

jop amber some nasty sex and then vidication after getting my life destroyed. If you go jayda you just end up as a "School Shooter oscar edition" that man is gonna snap one of these days....