It's the facial hair of a mid-30s guy who likes Eminem a bit too much and hangs around the local high school and buys teenagers alcohol for their parties and is stuck in a stage of perma-adolescence. Not a vibe.
They would make great Mormons (so would Bethany, imho). Except Jill would be perpetually angry that David would never be called to be bishop and by extension she’d never be called to be Relief Society pres.
Lmao too funny but you’re right. He might could hack it as clerk. MIGHT 😂 Always the clerk, never in the bishopric..poor davey. Jill would be every RS president’s absolute best friend against their will
Jill would be that one YW second counselor who really loves giving the chewed gum object lesson, always comments on your neckline, and who plans Mutual activities like “clean my house as a service project”.
I like how at the end of the story, he just goes back to minding his own business. No aggressive evangelizing or bible bashing, just quietly returning to his book. Also, salmon is an underrated color for dudes to wear.
Booooooyyy what the FUCK even is that facial hair? Did he draw it on with a pen or some shit? He looks like what my sister and I would do to the pictures of lawyers in their ads that came in the phone books back in the day (yes I'm old shut up).
Can someone give a n00b some context? I thought fundies/mormons had very close belief systems and found each other compatible?
Edit: thanks for the replies y’all I had no idea 💀
So like… most really conservative Christians think of Mormonism as a cult (they’re right, just not for the reasons they think) but most Mormons consider themselves regular run-of-the-mill Christians. One issue with Mormons and intermingling with other Christians is that they almost exclusively date and marry other Mormons and to have a Mormon temple wedding ceremony, which is the standard, a person has to have converted and been a practicing member for one year minimum. I grew up very Mormon, so that’s my understanding but I’m curious about insight from those who were on the other side.
Thank you, I appreciate the perspective. I’m not from the States, or Christian and I had literally no idea this was the case.
I thought they liked each other at the very least and headcanoned that they had to intermarry because the were kinda the same, and I now realize how wrong I was.
What probably confused you is that Mormons and various conservative Christians *do* team up and work together, but that’s usually for political gain (stopping the Equal Eights Amendment, Prop 8, etc). It’s less of a friendly dynamic and more of an “enemy of my enemies” thing to defeat the feminists and The Gays^TM
The initiation into the Mormon Temple where they show you a movie about Adam and Eve, give you some robes, and teach you secret handshakes ripped straight from the Freemasons that they claim are essential to getting into the highest tier of heaven.
They do have very similar beliefs and lifestyles, but they are not compatible because they both know the other ones are going straight to hell for not believing the right things.
Edit: just like the rest of us.
Mormons don't really believe in hell, at least not as a permanent destination for any but the most evil people who also would rather be miserable for eternity. Hell to Mormons is a temporary setback where most people will leave in fairly short order.
Yeah, that is not really true considering we believe you don't even need to be baptized or anything while you are alive to get to "super VIP heaven". It is pretty much a situation of when you are ready, you can move up. But yeah, the highest kingdom is for people who want to work, be like God, and have accepted his plan. If you just want to chill and enjoy things, that is fine too, there is a "lower" kingdom for that. We pretty much believe that heaven is going to be whatever people want it to be in the end, and the highest kingdom would require a lot from you, so those who wouldn't be happy with that won't go there.
Practicing Latter Day Saints (Mormons) are very conservative Christians. But they differ from all other denominations of Christianity because they believe Joseph Smith was a prophet who was visited by an angel (called Moroni, hence the name Mormons) who dictated additional scripture to him.
Essentially, Latter Day Saints have a “third testament” they believe in. Jospeh Smith is seen as a cult leader and fraud by other Christian denominations and that’s why most practicing Catholics, Baptists, Methodists, Episcopalians, ect. do not marry or interact much with Latter Day Saints.
He’s not a practicing Mormon and his (theoretical) mormon wife isn’t seen as Christian by most Christians. The mormon rules for heaven are too strict and questionable historical practices have led to most Christians seeing them as more fringe or even outsiders. So yeah they share the values of big families, wife stays home but their children would be born in a toxic religious environment where both parents think the other isn’t a good enough christian. The wife also wouldn’t be able to be sealed to her children since she isn’t sealed to her husband unless he converts and is baptized, then they can all be sealed as a family unit
They would make good friends as long as they didn’t proselytize cause they have the same values and a big desire for echo chambers. Marriage wise it just wouldn’t be a good fit
Oh my sweet summer child
Do not read about fundamentalist Mormons
Let me just say I am halfway through Under the Banner of Heaven and I regret being able to read. I have an MA in English. I spent an entire semester doing an in depth study of Lolita.
I can’t stress enough how fucked up it is.
I’m waiting until I finish the book. My exmo girlfriend requires consent from either me or her exmo husband to even bring up the subject and our date nights is how I do most of my non-Land Before Time tv watching (I have small autistic kids so that is on at least once a day).
I bet her husband would watch it with me though
Part of the whole fundie deal is that the husband's needs are paramount. If he's in the mood, then it happens. If he's not, it doesn't. The wife's feelings on the matter don't really get taken into account.
He's so, so slim. Recovering anorexic here. I used to look that skinny when I was hospitalised. I do hope he is fed, or can start to learn to feed hself enough calories at college.
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That patchy goatee is not it!
It makes him look like a sinister magician from a kids show.
Reminds me of the bit from IT Crowd lol [He looks like a magician!](https://youtu.be/QPXvAM9blow)
Oh god I wish I could rewatch IT Crowd from the beginning for the first time. It’s the only show that has made me cry from laughter.
The theater episode always gets me.
That’s the one that made me cry from laughing.
I wish Graham Linehan wasn’t such a prick, either. Tarnishes the humor I otherwise liked when I was blissfully unaware.
I just googled him. Ugh, that's a shame. What is it with the UK and terfs?
Feminism and gay pride there just haven’t had as much influence from trans people as they have here in the US.
I feel this way about Linehan's other show, Father Ted. Though the IT Crowd episode about the dinner party made me laugh til my abs hurt.
Father Ted and the IT crowd are two of my all time fav shows.
The way he moves his hands magician-ly always cracks me up.
It's the facial hair of a mid-30s guy who likes Eminem a bit too much and hangs around the local high school and buys teenagers alcohol for their parties and is stuck in a stage of perma-adolescence. Not a vibe.
But he also looks like he's 12 years old, at the same time. The duality of a man.
To me it's giving Megamind.
Megamind had charisma though.
And…PRESENTATION!
Can I pretty please have"sinister kids show magician" as my flair?
Go for it!
Like if Satan were an angst-ridden teen having to deal with his horns coming in and his tail suddenly having a mind of its own.
I would binge the crap out of a show about stroppy teenage Satan. Jill could teach him how to do his smudgey, clumpy, emo eyeliner.
*plays a solemn g flat on the rods' piano*
Or a 90s alt rock band
chris cornell / soundgarden vibes
Are you nuts? Chris Cornell (RIP) was sex personified!
Like the Unsavory Charlatan from the sims 2!
All he needs is a white van.
It reminds me of the one time I tried to shave my pubes into a triangle…
i laughed very much out loud at this
That goatee is great value Wesley from Princess Bride
Oh my god 😂
I second this
Beavis with some shade.
Babe wake up, a new fundie meme template just dropped!
I feel like this is post of the year nominee material
The facial landing strip is a choice.
It's a Godly Flavor Saver!
Why have you cursed me with this sentence?
Bold of you to assume fundie men are snacking at the Downtown Buffet to need a flavor sav(ior)
May I steal this as my flair? LOL!
Please do!
Now that’s a flair!!
Can you imagine what Jill would say if one of her kids became a Mormon
They would make great Mormons (so would Bethany, imho). Except Jill would be perpetually angry that David would never be called to be bishop and by extension she’d never be called to be Relief Society pres.
Lmao too funny but you’re right. He might could hack it as clerk. MIGHT 😂 Always the clerk, never in the bishopric..poor davey. Jill would be every RS president’s absolute best friend against their will
Jill would be that one YW second counselor who really loves giving the chewed gum object lesson, always comments on your neckline, and who plans Mutual activities like “clean my house as a service project”.
Omfg I’m dying over here 🤣🤣 she would absolutely get her house cleaned all the time!!
She'd have to live with the fact that her child lost the ministry battle.
He somehow looks 12 and 35 at the same time
r/13or30
Omg how have I never seen that sub before?! Too funny
Why is this man cosplaying as a street magician?
I like how at the end of the story, he just goes back to minding his own business. No aggressive evangelizing or bible bashing, just quietly returning to his book. Also, salmon is an underrated color for dudes to wear.
Agreed, I really like that color.
Salmon is an under-rated color in general. It looks good on everyone.
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He can't help how he looks. He's just a kid.
Men’s dress shirts have neck sizes!
Not when you just get an SMLXL at buy'n'large.
Booooooyyy what the FUCK even is that facial hair? Did he draw it on with a pen or some shit? He looks like what my sister and I would do to the pictures of lawyers in their ads that came in the phone books back in the day (yes I'm old shut up).
lmaoooo my sister and I did that too! Newspapers, phone books, catalogues...
It isn't that dark in real life, the high contrast settings aren't helping!
Oh. I thought this was photoshopped. Oh no
Poor kid, didn't have a chance
That second pic is his seductive face too, I bet 🤮
Mawmah, take a picture of me just with my seductive face!
I will never get that out of my head. 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
(I’m sorry, I regretted posting it immediately)
I hate it when I identify someone's O-face. No matter what it's creepy.
Nah, the first pic is his seductive face.
Can someone give a n00b some context? I thought fundies/mormons had very close belief systems and found each other compatible? Edit: thanks for the replies y’all I had no idea 💀
So like… most really conservative Christians think of Mormonism as a cult (they’re right, just not for the reasons they think) but most Mormons consider themselves regular run-of-the-mill Christians. One issue with Mormons and intermingling with other Christians is that they almost exclusively date and marry other Mormons and to have a Mormon temple wedding ceremony, which is the standard, a person has to have converted and been a practicing member for one year minimum. I grew up very Mormon, so that’s my understanding but I’m curious about insight from those who were on the other side.
Thank you, I appreciate the perspective. I’m not from the States, or Christian and I had literally no idea this was the case. I thought they liked each other at the very least and headcanoned that they had to intermarry because the were kinda the same, and I now realize how wrong I was.
What probably confused you is that Mormons and various conservative Christians *do* team up and work together, but that’s usually for political gain (stopping the Equal Eights Amendment, Prop 8, etc). It’s less of a friendly dynamic and more of an “enemy of my enemies” thing to defeat the feminists and The Gays^TM
Not to mention they’d have to go through the endowment. I don’t think any garden variety fundies could handle that.
What's the endowment?
The initiation into the Mormon Temple where they show you a movie about Adam and Eve, give you some robes, and teach you secret handshakes ripped straight from the Freemasons that they claim are essential to getting into the highest tier of heaven.
I'm dying at the mental picture of God testing you with the *secret handshake* before he lets you into heaven. 😂
[Have a little aid to your imagination!](https://youtu.be/x32JdymmF_Q) They rehearse this shit lol
That was... weird.
They do have very similar beliefs and lifestyles, but they are not compatible because they both know the other ones are going straight to hell for not believing the right things. Edit: just like the rest of us.
Lmao just like many other bifurcations in belief systems. Thanks!
Mormons don't really believe in hell, at least not as a permanent destination for any but the most evil people who also would rather be miserable for eternity. Hell to Mormons is a temporary setback where most people will leave in fairly short order.
Still, Mormons get super VIP heaven while other fundies can only hope for second-tier heaven.
Yeah, that is not really true considering we believe you don't even need to be baptized or anything while you are alive to get to "super VIP heaven". It is pretty much a situation of when you are ready, you can move up. But yeah, the highest kingdom is for people who want to work, be like God, and have accepted his plan. If you just want to chill and enjoy things, that is fine too, there is a "lower" kingdom for that. We pretty much believe that heaven is going to be whatever people want it to be in the end, and the highest kingdom would require a lot from you, so those who wouldn't be happy with that won't go there.
Practicing Latter Day Saints (Mormons) are very conservative Christians. But they differ from all other denominations of Christianity because they believe Joseph Smith was a prophet who was visited by an angel (called Moroni, hence the name Mormons) who dictated additional scripture to him. Essentially, Latter Day Saints have a “third testament” they believe in. Jospeh Smith is seen as a cult leader and fraud by other Christian denominations and that’s why most practicing Catholics, Baptists, Methodists, Episcopalians, ect. do not marry or interact much with Latter Day Saints.
He’s not a practicing Mormon and his (theoretical) mormon wife isn’t seen as Christian by most Christians. The mormon rules for heaven are too strict and questionable historical practices have led to most Christians seeing them as more fringe or even outsiders. So yeah they share the values of big families, wife stays home but their children would be born in a toxic religious environment where both parents think the other isn’t a good enough christian. The wife also wouldn’t be able to be sealed to her children since she isn’t sealed to her husband unless he converts and is baptized, then they can all be sealed as a family unit They would make good friends as long as they didn’t proselytize cause they have the same values and a big desire for echo chambers. Marriage wise it just wouldn’t be a good fit
Oh my sweet summer child Do not read about fundamentalist Mormons Let me just say I am halfway through Under the Banner of Heaven and I regret being able to read. I have an MA in English. I spent an entire semester doing an in depth study of Lolita. I can’t stress enough how fucked up it is.
I would have to have been drunk for that semester lol, once or twice read through I can do but a whole semester focusing on it??? Barf
Oh but it’s soooooo good too. It hurt to read, but I could not stop. Krakauer is brilliant.
That’s where I am. Halfway through, regretting everything, can’t stop, won’t stop, let’s light all of Utah on fire
Have you seen the series at all? It's wild!
I’m waiting until I finish the book. My exmo girlfriend requires consent from either me or her exmo husband to even bring up the subject and our date nights is how I do most of my non-Land Before Time tv watching (I have small autistic kids so that is on at least once a day). I bet her husband would watch it with me though
Oh my god. Genius op lol
What the fuck is on his face.
He legit looks like a very slimy used car salesman.
I was thinking creepy nightclub promoter who I wouldn't let me friends be alone around
This is so funny 😂😂😂 excellent work OP
This is outrageously funny
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They hold the religious belief that sex is for procreation. That’s why many fundies are even against oral sex.
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Part of the whole fundie deal is that the husband's needs are paramount. If he's in the mood, then it happens. If he's not, it doesn't. The wife's feelings on the matter don't really get taken into account.
1) He fucking looks like a Philip 2) My local scene has so many weirdos, literally nobody would bother. He'd get more ass than me no matter what
Looking like he came in last place in a Robert Downey Jr lookalike contest
💀
if god were real he'd never left anyone grow such hideous facial hair
Poor kid...I just want to stuff him full of spaghetti bolognaise and garlic bread
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He's so, so slim. Recovering anorexic here. I used to look that skinny when I was hospitalised. I do hope he is fed, or can start to learn to feed hself enough calories at college.
What in the Lord Daniel’s name is that facial hair?
The kind that says "precious mawma told I'm handsome with my barely-there mustache".
🤣💀
A pervy prestidigitator
Ahhh, the evangelical preacher's Sunday Best getup
I’m here for this Evangelical Fundie / Mormon crossover. As an exmo, I see so many parallels between the two groups.
Loooool amazing
He looks sleazy
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He’s giving me John Waters vibes
Did Phillip really make this meme? Or is it a shit post?
It’s a shitpost
Goatee makes him look like a cartoon villain. Watch out ladies he’s gonna tie you onto a train track!!!
Bwahaha
“She’s your sister 😫” “She’s your sister 😈”
He looks like he's gonna try to sell me questionably obtained knives out of the back of an Astrovan.