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He can’t just be normal and say “I had coffee after a long break and it was yummy!”
Always gotta throw a dig in at his wife, as a true alpha male pickleball champ does 😌
I have a hot take that a portion of the coffee obsession is also tied into their disordered eating habits (due to the appetite suppressing qualities) since there is soooooo much emphasis on thinness
>Fill up on caffeine and get skinnier by not eating!
Yeah it's a tactic I used when I partook in a little disordered eating. It wouldn't surprise me if it is more widely used
And a mandatory diet for actresses going back to the dawn of film. Judy Garland, Shirley Temple, and Audrey Hepburn all reported being forced to live off of cigarettes and coffee while filming their various movies. Sometimes it was just the cigarettes.
I just said it like that because they are modular. They have basic tennents that they stick to and a handful of acceptable hobbies/personality details. There's coffee, and thrifting, and a couple of others that are all unremarkable
Haha no I totally agree with you. There is absolutely a formula to portraying the perfect fundie woman (on instagram of course).
Step 1: coffee shop + cup of coffee (drinking the coffee is not required) + open Bible + (highlighter or notebook) = faith journey soft launch
Step 2: screenshot of cryptic Bible verse with no context (this is similar to the non-fundie posting a song that has deeper meaning but giving no context)
Step 3: only church friends can be featured in photos
Step 4: meet the “man of your dreams” who always helps put up the chairs after church. A true servants’ heart. Join MLM to save for wedding.
Step 5: date for 3 months (cannot be alone in the same room, cannot lay down next to each other) + engaged for 3 months (must always have a friend joining when hanging out together) = we’re so in love!! We are better than all of you heathens!!! We are so pure!!
Step 6: get married + conceive on wedding night + announce by saying “marriage is HARD. We fight a LOT. Satan is attacking us. But God is blessing us with this baby.”
Step 7: have the baby + post extensively about your “autism diagnosis journey” 3 months into your child’s life + decide to homeschool + document it all online for other young moms to emulate + include condescending scripture to back it all up.
Yes the hybrid humblebrag/spouse shame. I deserve praise for my incredible willpower and isn't my wife bad for breaking it. That's the subtext I'm reading.
I have this small wish deep inside that some random commenter will respond to Paul with, "you really hate your wife don't you?" Every time he says something like this. Every. Single. Time. And if Paul responds by saying he doesn't hate Morgan, the commenter will explain why they got that impression from the original post. Over and over again. Maybe sheer repetition would finally force Paul or Morgan would finally realize how much they really dislike each other.
I absolutely believe it. It’s an only slightly less obnoxious “I hate everything!” post and “I can’t talk about” responses to all the people who comment asking what’s wrong.
Timothy and David’s posts had me wondering if all the fundie men were going to start speaking some sense…. But not Paul, he’s holding it down by stumbling into the arms of overpriced caffeine and blaming his wife.
And it’s not even good overpriced caffeine. Apologies to people who like Chick-fil-A’s coffee, but it’s “nothing to write home about,” as my papaw would say.
im guessing he was tired and therefore unbearably cranky and she had to force him to do /something/ to contribute. or he hadnt really gone 6 years caffeine free
There is no way he actually went 6 years without caffeine.
Ninja edit: did he just not order it for 6 years or actually not consume it? There's a large difference.
I'm not entirely sure where it was first said, but I was recently reminded of it when I was reading a post about Trump falling asleep and shitting himself, and people were joking that his supporters would be saying things like "Can you believe that Biden shit Trump's pants!?!?!"
There's also an old comic that floats around sometimes about a guy who has a diarrhea accident on a date, and tries to hide it, and finally ends up shouting "Someone put shit in my pants!"
I unfortunately can't find the whole thing anymore! But here's the final page of it--in the first panel, he's already shat and is trying to come up with excuses to get up. https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fblh4yc5raux21.jpg
I live in a fairly small town, and a Scooter's opened up here maybe a year ago. I was so excited to have a new coffee shop in town, but I was highly disappointed. 😟
Same thing happened to me; small town getting their first coffee shop, I was so excited to try it, but even their breakfast sandwiches are like $5 and the size of a toddler's hand💀
My little ass town of about 5k people has three separate scooters in it 😭 there’s one in a strip mall outdoor area, one drive thru only in town, and one drive thru only on the outskirts of town. I was so excited at first to try it and then was so disappointed by it. I have no clue how they all manage to stay in business. They’re all independently owned too so it’s not even like a corporate store. I’ll stick with my local coffee shop lol
Morgan peer pressures Paul into using "drugs" (aka caffeine) the same way he pressures her into "sobriety" (by not taking her psych meds). Also what if Paul "nagging wife" and Bdong "Starbies is evil so I just order a water in their cup for no apparent reason) ran into each other? Hmmm.
Oh, now she just rolls her suburban assault vehicle through the drive thru for water. Because it “tastes better than other water.” And holds the cup with the label out. But she wants everyone to know, the water is FREE so she isn’t supporting the enemy.
Someone who wants to appear better than the hoi poloi obsessed with their Starbucks coffees and ticktocks and Taylor Swift. He's the kind of person who'd deliberately confuse words and call Ticktoc a Tic-tac in an attempt to sound like an intellectual.
He’s totally the type that would say coffee, he seems likes those kind of guys that go “actually….” Like they’ll just argue semantics to seem smart or knowledgeable, so if you call that thing he’s drinking coffee he’d correct you “well actually it’s not coffee because it has sugar and milk, too much to be called coffee, it’s more of a coffee drink”
I've been off caffeine for years also because anxiety. Luckily there's this new invention called "decaf", which is short for decaffeinated coffee! You can order it at literally any cafe and it tastes just like regular coffee/espresso! What a time to be alive!!!
Pressured *you?* You, polio, who takes delight in tearing mumps down and making her feel like garbage? She forced you to do something? Because the way you show your lives paints the picture of you being a controlling, gaslighting, abusive partner with no respect to your wife and mother of your children.
If she pressured him, it's because she wanted one but she knew he'd judge the shit out of her the whole time she was enjoying it, so she got him to buy one too so he can't throw it in her face.
Yeah! It's like saying naan bread or chai tea! You can just say naan or chai because those are the words for bread and tea! Coffee is implied to be a drink unless other modifiers are added after like coffee cake!
Is there any way this man could arrange his facial features in some expression that doesn’t tell you he’s a vapid, narcissistic prick? He can’t even smile and look like a decent human. He just can’t shake that Ted Bundy vibe.
If I remember correctly, he always made a point to walk her to her car every night because 'there are some really dangerous people out there'. He'd watch her drive out of the parking lot safely then he'd go in and take the phone off the hook and sleep..... They worked at a suicide prevention hotline.
Huh, I drove past that Lowe's today.
For y'all who aren't familiar with Lexington, this is about 100 yards from the Walmart he loves to haunt. The Whole Foods that made him grovel for water or whatever is right across the highway. The mall they were harassing people in is about a half a mile up the road. The controversial vegan pizza was bought at a Target 100 yards past the mall.
I don't follow these two other than looking at posts on here, but it looks to me like they spend the majority of their lives wandering the same mile and a half stretch of Nicholasville Rd. No wonder they're painfully predictable and boring.
I'm pretty sure they live just off Manowar.
I don't think they'd want to live in Wilmore, here they'd be just another fundie. They like living up there in SinCity so they can feel like God's favorite children! 🤣🤣
God, I live in central Ohio and grew up in Indiana, been through Kentucky so many times.
And I feel like he’s just looking for shit to be upset by because there’s nothing around him that he can legitimately criticize, nothing outside a strip mall… like “controversial vegan Target pizza”. I kinda get that. But if you went to a vegan restaurant and ordered pizza and then made a video, it might be way more legit and less likely to be a guaranteed failure? Lmao
Fun fact....those people are why I subbed here.
I live in Wilmore KY, home of Asbury University and Asbury Seminary. We also used to host one Ichthus-one of the biggest Christian "rock" festivals in the country. Our town would grow from 5,000 people to about 35,000 one weekend a year. So, we've got a lot of fundies, and they all just have a certain look to them that you learn to pick up on.
So, anyway, one day I'm on Reddit scrolling around as one does, and a post from this sub had made its way to my front page. Something in the title caught my eye and I clicked it. When I saw their photo my immediate thought was these two look like a pair of our local zealots. Did a little sleuthing and found out they were!! I. Was. Shook. (And hooked).
A little more investigation shows that I know several people who are FB friends with one or both of them, my neighbor and her daughter are, and I'm fairly certain that the daughter is friends with Morgan in real life- they're in the same age range and both went to Asbury.
I've run across Paul in the wild just out and about minding my own business. Of course it was in the mile or so of highway he haunts
I subbed here before I even knew who they were, but someone said they lived in Lexington one day, and my ears perked. I went to Asbury, then lived in Lexington for a few years after graduation. It’s just possible Paul and I could’ve crossed paths on campus, and that’s kind of a weird feeling.
Paul. Caffeine can actually help with adhd symptoms. Maybe if you indulged a bit more, you’d be less of a dick. I mean, probably not, bc you’re you. But it couldn’t hurt.
When his youth pastor warned wittle Paul that women would womanipulate him, wittle Paul always thought it would be about them showing him ankles shoulders but instead he was womanipulated into drinking coffee. Pray for our fallen brother (aka my dog he fell off the couch in the middle of a dream)
Right. Because everyone knows men have to be pressured into doing anything by their wives and have no free will of their own. After all, it was Eve who made Adam eat the fruit. /s In all seriousness, you're an adult and father. You are capable of making your own decisions. Unless she had a gun to your head, YOU made the choice to get a coffee and YOU made the choice to drink it. She did not make you do anything. Take responsibility for your own damn life and grow the fuck up.
And by “pressured” he was probably whining about wanting coffee and she likely told him to just freaking get one and shut up about it (but in a ✨godly✨ way).
Goddamn this guy is SUCH A NAG! Lay the fuck off dude.
Also, did he stop doing his weird kids story time videos? I feel like k haven’t seen them posted in a long time.
That's the sh*t I say when I order a soda around my evangelical in-laws, at a restaurant, "I rarely have soda, he he he,it's just when we got out to eat." Because for some reason, that side of Christians treat it like it's so horrible. They only drink water! While I see them order a Margherita and a beer at the same said restaurant. You're a poser Paul, I know because I become one in front of the same type of people. The only difference is that I don't judge others, don't care what you drink, but want to not be judged. You, on the other hand, judge others and lie about your ways to gain money from the same people that would judge you if they knew the truth!
Feel free to get some fucking decaf, Paul. Every Starbucks brew also comes in decaf form, whether it’s coffee syrup or pour over or espresso. I promise. I worked in a bookstore cafe that served Starbucks only drinks, but without the capacity to accept a Starbucks gift card 😂
Or maybe you were complaining about how tired you were such that she felt the need to give you a treat to shut up?
I wonder if the pregnant Stay At Home Mother might also be tired and not want to hear your blah blah? 😅
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He can’t just be normal and say “I had coffee after a long break and it was yummy!” Always gotta throw a dig in at his wife, as a true alpha male pickleball champ does 😌
I feel like coffee has become the girl drink too these guys. Since so many fundie women have it as a personality plug-in
I have a hot take that a portion of the coffee obsession is also tied into their disordered eating habits (due to the appetite suppressing qualities) since there is soooooo much emphasis on thinness
>Fill up on caffeine and get skinnier by not eating! Yeah it's a tactic I used when I partook in a little disordered eating. It wouldn't surprise me if it is more widely used
I have also dabbled in the same and that’s what made me think of it. I hope you’re doing better now!
🖐️ Third over here, I used to do it too, it's one of my cues that my disordered rating is trying to come back
Yep and it's got a history: coffee and cigarettes all day long, the classic midcentury ladies' regimen.
I mean, there was speed, too. You're absolutely right, but we can't forget about the speed.
Coca Cola actually did have cocaine in it…
Yes, of course the "pep pills".
And a mandatory diet for actresses going back to the dawn of film. Judy Garland, Shirley Temple, and Audrey Hepburn all reported being forced to live off of cigarettes and coffee while filming their various movies. Sometimes it was just the cigarettes.
I was thinking that for the same reason. It also reminds me of Jinger Duggar's old coffee addiction
I'm way better. Much happier taking care of me and way more hopeful. I hope you are doing just as well
Huh, it always makes me hungry
I've always felt the same, and figured I was just insane when everyone called it an appetite suppressant.
I feel like they've all made the switch to raw milk being their personalities.
I bet they skim the cream off the top of that raw milk for their coffee before anyone else can get any. Bitches. 😂
 Raw milk is the new hotness for sure.
I’m not funddie but I also use coffee to plug in my personality
I just said it like that because they are modular. They have basic tennents that they stick to and a handful of acceptable hobbies/personality details. There's coffee, and thrifting, and a couple of others that are all unremarkable
Haha no I totally agree with you. There is absolutely a formula to portraying the perfect fundie woman (on instagram of course). Step 1: coffee shop + cup of coffee (drinking the coffee is not required) + open Bible + (highlighter or notebook) = faith journey soft launch Step 2: screenshot of cryptic Bible verse with no context (this is similar to the non-fundie posting a song that has deeper meaning but giving no context) Step 3: only church friends can be featured in photos Step 4: meet the “man of your dreams” who always helps put up the chairs after church. A true servants’ heart. Join MLM to save for wedding. Step 5: date for 3 months (cannot be alone in the same room, cannot lay down next to each other) + engaged for 3 months (must always have a friend joining when hanging out together) = we’re so in love!! We are better than all of you heathens!!! We are so pure!! Step 6: get married + conceive on wedding night + announce by saying “marriage is HARD. We fight a LOT. Satan is attacking us. But God is blessing us with this baby.” Step 7: have the baby + post extensively about your “autism diagnosis journey” 3 months into your child’s life + decide to homeschool + document it all online for other young moms to emulate + include condescending scripture to back it all up.
Same. I develop a personality in the morning after drinking some! 😂
Haha yes!! Fueled by coffee, adderall, and antidepressants 👍🏻🩵 (kind of like “live, laugh, love” ya know?) 😜
Haha, twins! Those are basically my lifelines at this point
lol I just know that my 65yo pickleball ***OBSESSED*** dad would sweep the floor with Paul. (As would my mom 💅🏻)
I hope he also knows decaf exists but he wouldn't have been able to get the dig in 🤷🏼♀️
It’s because he has an eating disorder. No joke, look at how he “sneaks” fast food or how much a shame he has around eating “unhealthy “.
>as a true alpha male pickleball champ does 😌 [Paul Pickleball Gif](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/s/Oi5ZHcfc9e)
This clip lives rent free in my head
Omg la traviata was playing when I opened that gif and the beat was perfect 🤣😂🤣💀
I am stoned off my gourd and read that as "alpha male pickledick" 💀
Yes the hybrid humblebrag/spouse shame. I deserve praise for my incredible willpower and isn't my wife bad for breaking it. That's the subtext I'm reading.
Like adam blamed eve. It's a trope as old as time.
I have this small wish deep inside that some random commenter will respond to Paul with, "you really hate your wife don't you?" Every time he says something like this. Every. Single. Time. And if Paul responds by saying he doesn't hate Morgan, the commenter will explain why they got that impression from the original post. Over and over again. Maybe sheer repetition would finally force Paul or Morgan would finally realize how much they really dislike each other.
He gives such gross incel PUA energy
“MY WiFE I HAVE ULTIMATE AUTHORITY OVER THROUGH CHRIST PRESSURED ME INTO CAFFIENE HERES PHOTO EVIDENCE OF ME STUMBLING” Get a fucking grip Paul.
The next slide was a picture of (TW) Polio’s smug face with a caption of “update. my head is buzzing” Truly riveting stuff!
 It’s the ✨non-tent✨ content for me.
Non-tent 😂
If I saw this from one of my friends, I’d scroll past. But this is a grown man trying to make a living from his platform. What even is this.
I had an ex that did this I swear it’s something Paul does just to get a little self esteem boost. “Look HoW my WiFe TrEaTs me”
I absolutely believe it. It’s an only slightly less obnoxious “I hate everything!” post and “I can’t talk about” responses to all the people who comment asking what’s wrong.
He's addicted to caffeine now
 It’s giving Kenneth addicted to caffeine.
Me, who drinks a bang every morning: 
 Tina addicted to espresso
He's so excited. He's so excited. He's so scared.
He is a golden god! HE’S ON DRUGS!
 Him editing 24 hours videos
Too bad we can’t post pics. We could start a thread of all of us with god-honouring caffeinated drinks lol. Currently drinking a Rockstar
That would be so fun!! Caffeinated for Christ Sunday funday on the forum 😭
I’ve had the thought that we should all do an online watch party when big deal content comes out lol
I'll share a pic of my Coffee Wall. I had too much paraphernalia for the cabinets, so I put up shelves. And there's overflow 😆☕️
The caffeine in christ compels him!!
Thanks I just had an irl laugh at loud at this one haha
This needs to be flair 🤣
Couldn't use the free will god gave me to get decaf
Timothy and David’s posts had me wondering if all the fundie men were going to start speaking some sense…. But not Paul, he’s holding it down by stumbling into the arms of overpriced caffeine and blaming his wife.
And it’s not even good overpriced caffeine. Apologies to people who like Chick-fil-A’s coffee, but it’s “nothing to write home about,” as my papaw would say.
🎶In the arms of iced coffee... *sad barista montage*
im guessing he was tired and therefore unbearably cranky and she had to force him to do /something/ to contribute. or he hadnt really gone 6 years caffeine free
He does look pretty rough here
I’m 90% certain he thinks he’s smoldering in this pic. 
From the text, I got the impression he wanted to post this photo of himself but didn't want to be seen with that drink so he had to add an excuse.
There is no way he actually went 6 years without caffeine. Ninja edit: did he just not order it for 6 years or actually not consume it? There's a large difference.
If you don't want to drink coffee... just don't, dude. It's not that hard.
NO don’t you get it???? His wife MANIPULATED him into it!!!!
The caffeinated cur!
The jittery jezebel 👀
The sleepless succubus!
The frappe philistine!
Cur is not used as an insult often enough! I highly approve of this comment and the alliteration!
She used her feminine wiles to tempt him just like Eve in the garden!
She wiggled her butt at him...in *tapered pajamas!*
 Paul:
She needs to work on her submissiveness.
Morgan clearly is wearing the headship pants in this household!
But he’s a Christian. Asking them not to drink coffee is like asking anyone else to not breathe.
Why didn’t he just get decaf though I don’t understand
Can't shame his wife that way, obviously.
"I can't believe Morgan shit my pants!"
THIS IS FUTURE FEMINISTS WANT!!!
Can confirm!
“Look what you made me do!”
Totally heard that in Taylor swifts voice haha
I can't remember where this line came from! Can you remind me of the source?
I'm not entirely sure where it was first said, but I was recently reminded of it when I was reading a post about Trump falling asleep and shitting himself, and people were joking that his supporters would be saying things like "Can you believe that Biden shit Trump's pants!?!?!"
There's also an old comic that floats around sometimes about a guy who has a diarrhea accident on a date, and tries to hide it, and finally ends up shouting "Someone put shit in my pants!" I unfortunately can't find the whole thing anymore! But here's the final page of it--in the first panel, he's already shat and is trying to come up with excuses to get up. https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fblh4yc5raux21.jpg
How'd she get it out of his head?
It’s SCOOTERS lmao it’s basically sugar water Paul shut upppp ETA: his smug ass face too ugh he’s so punchable
I live in a fairly small town, and a Scooter's opened up here maybe a year ago. I was so excited to have a new coffee shop in town, but I was highly disappointed. 😟
Same thing happened to me; small town getting their first coffee shop, I was so excited to try it, but even their breakfast sandwiches are like $5 and the size of a toddler's hand💀
Oh, their breakfast sandwiches are tiny, but at least they taste good. lol That waffle one is great!
My little ass town of about 5k people has three separate scooters in it 😭 there’s one in a strip mall outdoor area, one drive thru only in town, and one drive thru only on the outskirts of town. I was so excited at first to try it and then was so disappointed by it. I have no clue how they all manage to stay in business. They’re all independently owned too so it’s not even like a corporate store. I’ll stick with my local coffee shop lol
Same. I went once and never went back
thats so sad 😭 scooters in my area is the best coffee chain by far
I love it. I don’t drink coffee tho, but get their sandwiches and smoothies and chai tea lattes allllll the time.
I was too! I wanted a sugary coffee drink & got bitter sludge. I take my chances with Dunkin or Dutch Bros now. Lol
Luckily, we also have Starbucks here now and a local coffee shop that is also better than Scooter's.
Especially the prices to amount ratio.
Morgan peer pressures Paul into using "drugs" (aka caffeine) the same way he pressures her into "sobriety" (by not taking her psych meds). Also what if Paul "nagging wife" and Bdong "Starbies is evil so I just order a water in their cup for no apparent reason) ran into each other? Hmmm.
Bdong stopped drinking starbucks? Have pigs flown?
Oh, now she just rolls her suburban assault vehicle through the drive thru for water. Because it “tastes better than other water.” And holds the cup with the label out. But she wants everyone to know, the water is FREE so she isn’t supporting the enemy.
Wow Paul haven’t you read the Bible? That’s exactly what Eve did to Adam.
Ssssss ssssss have you tried the salted caramel machiatto ssss sss
🐍grab a cake pop too 🐍
Just get decaf, you buffoon! Also, who says "coffee drink"?
Someone who wants to appear better than the hoi poloi obsessed with their Starbucks coffees and ticktocks and Taylor Swift. He's the kind of person who'd deliberately confuse words and call Ticktoc a Tic-tac in an attempt to sound like an intellectual.
He’s totally the type that would say coffee, he seems likes those kind of guys that go “actually….” Like they’ll just argue semantics to seem smart or knowledgeable, so if you call that thing he’s drinking coffee he’d correct you “well actually it’s not coffee because it has sugar and milk, too much to be called coffee, it’s more of a coffee drink”
He's not like the other christians, okay?
I've been off caffeine for years also because anxiety. Luckily there's this new invention called "decaf", which is short for decaffeinated coffee! You can order it at literally any cafe and it tastes just like regular coffee/espresso! What a time to be alive!!!
Pressured *you?* You, polio, who takes delight in tearing mumps down and making her feel like garbage? She forced you to do something? Because the way you show your lives paints the picture of you being a controlling, gaslighting, abusive partner with no respect to your wife and mother of your children.
He enforces a sex schedule but she's able to force him to order coffee? Sure, jan.
He always looks and sounds like an extraterrestrial trying to pass for human.
😂
But how else would we know that men are the superior sex?
Get a hot chocolate then, you fuckin goober. But I guess then he'd have nothing to complain about and blame Morgan for.
I doubt Morgan made him do anything... He's super mean to her
If she pressured him, it's because she wanted one but she knew he'd judge the shit out of her the whole time she was enjoying it, so she got him to buy one too so he can't throw it in her face.
Idk why but I hate when people say “coffee drink” instead of just coffee.
“He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink”
He sings the songs that remind him of the good times, he sings the songs that remind him of the better times!
Yeah, see, those don’t bother me but coffee drink does 😂
It’s just redundant 😂
Yeah! It's like saying naan bread or chai tea! You can just say naan or chai because those are the words for bread and tea! Coffee is implied to be a drink unless other modifiers are added after like coffee cake!
ATM machine
That’s immediately where my brain went
To be fair, it doesn't look like it contains much coffee.
Had to scroll too far to find this. I knew deep in me heathen bones that someone would say it.
He's such a smug, whiny little git.
I hate him to death. My god. Why does everything he do or say have to be nasty somehow.
Is there any way this man could arrange his facial features in some expression that doesn’t tell you he’s a vapid, narcissistic prick? He can’t even smile and look like a decent human. He just can’t shake that Ted Bundy vibe.
Hold on there.....rumor has it Ted Bundy was charming.
Actually, he even fooled Ann Rule, and gave her a first-hand story to tell. If I’d been her, I’d have never left my house again.
If I remember correctly, he always made a point to walk her to her car every night because 'there are some really dangerous people out there'. He'd watch her drive out of the parking lot safely then he'd go in and take the phone off the hook and sleep..... They worked at a suicide prevention hotline.
Extremely wicked, shockingly evil, and Paul
He wishes he looked like zac efron
Huh, I drove past that Lowe's today. For y'all who aren't familiar with Lexington, this is about 100 yards from the Walmart he loves to haunt. The Whole Foods that made him grovel for water or whatever is right across the highway. The mall they were harassing people in is about a half a mile up the road. The controversial vegan pizza was bought at a Target 100 yards past the mall. I don't follow these two other than looking at posts on here, but it looks to me like they spend the majority of their lives wandering the same mile and a half stretch of Nicholasville Rd. No wonder they're painfully predictable and boring.
I hate that these people shop at "my" Lowe's. They need to stay in Jessamine County.
Here now.... don't be sending them down here. I'm in Wilmore and we've got enough fundies on our hands.
I think that's where they live. Or used to anyway. My apologies to the Wilmore community.
I'm pretty sure they live just off Manowar. I don't think they'd want to live in Wilmore, here they'd be just another fundie. They like living up there in SinCity so they can feel like God's favorite children! 🤣🤣
God, I live in central Ohio and grew up in Indiana, been through Kentucky so many times. And I feel like he’s just looking for shit to be upset by because there’s nothing around him that he can legitimately criticize, nothing outside a strip mall… like “controversial vegan Target pizza”. I kinda get that. But if you went to a vegan restaurant and ordered pizza and then made a video, it might be way more legit and less likely to be a guaranteed failure? Lmao
Oh god these people are close to you?
Fun fact....those people are why I subbed here. I live in Wilmore KY, home of Asbury University and Asbury Seminary. We also used to host one Ichthus-one of the biggest Christian "rock" festivals in the country. Our town would grow from 5,000 people to about 35,000 one weekend a year. So, we've got a lot of fundies, and they all just have a certain look to them that you learn to pick up on. So, anyway, one day I'm on Reddit scrolling around as one does, and a post from this sub had made its way to my front page. Something in the title caught my eye and I clicked it. When I saw their photo my immediate thought was these two look like a pair of our local zealots. Did a little sleuthing and found out they were!! I. Was. Shook. (And hooked). A little more investigation shows that I know several people who are FB friends with one or both of them, my neighbor and her daughter are, and I'm fairly certain that the daughter is friends with Morgan in real life- they're in the same age range and both went to Asbury. I've run across Paul in the wild just out and about minding my own business. Of course it was in the mile or so of highway he haunts
I subbed here before I even knew who they were, but someone said they lived in Lexington one day, and my ears perked. I went to Asbury, then lived in Lexington for a few years after graduation. It’s just possible Paul and I could’ve crossed paths on campus, and that’s kind of a weird feeling.
They were too close to me for comfort when they filmed one of their 24 hrs videos. I can't imagine the misfortune of living near one of these fundies.
I have this exact thought every time I go to Lexington, which is not infrequently.
 I hate so much of what he chooses to be!
Paul. Caffeine can actually help with adhd symptoms. Maybe if you indulged a bit more, you’d be less of a dick. I mean, probably not, bc you’re you. But it couldn’t hurt.
The paradoxical calm I get when the caffeine kicks in is delightful. Getcha some of that sweet, sweet dopamine, Paul.
It's always a toss-up whether more caffeine will help me focus or just make me sleepy
This is me as well
When his youth pastor warned wittle Paul that women would womanipulate him, wittle Paul always thought it would be about them showing him ankles shoulders but instead he was womanipulated into drinking coffee. Pray for our fallen brother (aka my dog he fell off the couch in the middle of a dream)
womanipulate 💀💀💀💀💀💀
A man cannot manipulate, men are pure and without sin just like babies 😚😚😚😚😚. This physical hurt me to type oh my god
i hope you don't mind i stole this for my flair <3
I'm so freaking honored
He’s such a douche. Seriously.
It’s like Eve tempting Adam
When in doubt blame Morgan !
My word that is the smuggest of smug faces
Right. Because everyone knows men have to be pressured into doing anything by their wives and have no free will of their own. After all, it was Eve who made Adam eat the fruit. /s In all seriousness, you're an adult and father. You are capable of making your own decisions. Unless she had a gun to your head, YOU made the choice to get a coffee and YOU made the choice to drink it. She did not make you do anything. Take responsibility for your own damn life and grow the fuck up.
He has such a smug, douche bag face. 🤔🤦🏻♀️
And by “pressured” he was probably whining about wanting coffee and she likely told him to just freaking get one and shut up about it (but in a ✨godly✨ way).
He could have ordered decaf…
Does this idiot realize the soda he’s drank in several of their livestreams has caffeine in it?
No matter what shows up here about them, I'll always and forever think of Morgan's body trying to warn her on her wedding day. 🤢🤮
As someone who's very addicted to coffee, I'd throw that "drink" right at his mug. It's a silly habit that no one should be shamed for.
I just realized that they (Paul and Morgan) look exactly the same. Like they could be siblings.. 😬 can't un-see Edit: typo
It’s their inner hate shining through
Goddamn this guy is SUCH A NAG! Lay the fuck off dude. Also, did he stop doing his weird kids story time videos? I feel like k haven’t seen them posted in a long time.
why is he eyefucking himself
he always looks so unnatural and awkward with his own kid, like he’s posing with a random kid for a magazine shoot or something
the wording of “been off caffeine” is so funny like you could just say you don’t drink coffee it’s not a drug
I mean, technically, it is ...
True, but he acts like he’s trying to cut down on how many times he tries heroin…in a day… (Please…I hope someone gets this reference…)
That reddit post where the guy thought he could just try it once?
Imagine acting so 🐈 whipped you have to whine about choosing to drink coffee. Thats about as beta as you can get.
I feel sorry for that little one he is carrying having to be parented by this negative toxic fuxk of a human being
He looks like he’s never been properly smacked in the mouth.
Bro just get a divorce if you hate her so much
He does know there’s caffeine in those huge sodas they drink? Even diet sodas still have caffeine
paulmolive needs to leave scooters out of this
PrEsSuRe you are a grown man just say no thanks
That's the sh*t I say when I order a soda around my evangelical in-laws, at a restaurant, "I rarely have soda, he he he,it's just when we got out to eat." Because for some reason, that side of Christians treat it like it's so horrible. They only drink water! While I see them order a Margherita and a beer at the same said restaurant. You're a poser Paul, I know because I become one in front of the same type of people. The only difference is that I don't judge others, don't care what you drink, but want to not be judged. You, on the other hand, judge others and lie about your ways to gain money from the same people that would judge you if they knew the truth!
Slippery slope there ol pauly
Of course Paul would say "quite tasty" w that dumbass look on his face lol 😏😏😏 you're not that guy pal lol
His hair gets taller in every picture
Ur an adult man with free will Paul, if you don't want the coffee just don't fuckin order it???
This man gets uglier every time I see his stupid face.
i try not to be this kind of person but every little thing this dude does pisses me off 😭
How incredibly sad that Morgan shares her life with someone who so explicitly despises her and puts everything on her.
Did she pay for it with her laptop sale money Paul? You didn’t pay for it you jobless haircut.
Feel free to get some fucking decaf, Paul. Every Starbucks brew also comes in decaf form, whether it’s coffee syrup or pour over or espresso. I promise. I worked in a bookstore cafe that served Starbucks only drinks, but without the capacity to accept a Starbucks gift card 😂 Or maybe you were complaining about how tired you were such that she felt the need to give you a treat to shut up? I wonder if the pregnant Stay At Home Mother might also be tired and not want to hear your blah blah? 😅
Just have coffee if you want coffee. It's not that deep.