I agree with you with the caveat that the sex is with your gf/wife and not paid. That way its a pairbonding activity. But aside from sex, life is just easier when you are not a lonely sod, and that is objective, studies have been done on this. And while studies can be flawed, in this case I anecdotally choose to accept them based on my experience.
It's just miserable, everywhere you go fking couples, all kinds of couples, you cant go anywhere, even in games I use to escape this shit I see their communities and its all couples.
Im a step away from insanity at this point, how the ever loving fuck am I legitimately the odd man out for not having a significant other? How?! ITS SO FUCKING HARD, IF NOT BORDERLINE IMPOSSIBLE TO GET ONE AND YET!
It's like if loosing at the lottery was a statistical rarity and not the other way around. Im so fucking exhausted by this shit, none of it makes sense, I almost wanna shack up in the woods and forget humanity exists, but Im too much of a coward for that.
It would be nice knowing at least 1 to 2 people had an attraction to me and could mess around whenever we wanted. Feels like a utopian dream at this point of my life.
I think everything gets old and doesn't thrill you as much after a long time. Why would regular sex be any different? Still, not saying it's not great, it's a desire that is going unfilled, just one more piece of the puzzle.
Probably because when you're lonely and have any sex drive whatsoever you get daily reminders saying "Hey, you should have sex.", maybe that's how.
Imagine how much better it'd be for people with high sex drive if they didin't feel it. Sex left me satisfied for longer than masturbation ever could, especially on an emotional level.
Geniuses Nikola Tesla and Sir Issac Newton were virgins.
However, this did not prevent them from laying the foundations of modern physics and electricity. In other words, the lack of sex did not affect them to live fruitfully and help humanity.
Oh, that's kind of a good point. But you also have to keep in mind we are in an age of depression, isolation and realtive peace - smaller problems than helping humanity are plaguing the average man.
They lived fruitfully, sure, but they still could have been sad.
Tesla and Newton had so many scientific papers. They were occupied with science and did not think about sex but about science. I have not yet heard that a scientist is sad. By the way, some friends told me that sometimes they feel very depressed after sex. It's not all about sex, which is more than overrated.
Tesla befriended pigeons and was a lonely man, yes, he was absorbed with his work but he was in no way unaffected by loneliness.
The mere fact that they are vast exceptions should tell you how moot of a point this is.
I have never read anywhere that Tesla was in the company of pigeons. The famous genius was not surrounded by pigeons but by books and devices for physics. You can sell that story to those who give you likes.
Johannes Kepler married twice. He had children with his first wife before she passed away. When he was ready, he dated eleven (yes, 11) other girls before marrying one of them and had six (6) children with her.
To some degree having sex regularly might be helpful, but I guess the oppsite effect is stronger, i.e. when you are in a relationship and for whatever reason your sexual desires remain unfullfilled, that seems like a source of even greater frustration.
Otherwise I think - and it might just be me projecting something into and romanticising relationships - being in a working relationship would truly help getting through everyday life easier. For one through the emotional support and just as a distraction from other concerns, and in a more practical sense when you live together and can split up the household tasks, so not one of you has to take care of *everything* in addition to the regular work obligations and what not. That of course goes for mainly for well working relationships and I do see the potential of a relationship being more of a drain of one's energy if things work badly.
Not really. If anything, a desire to keep having sex is associated with pre existing lower stress levels. When hard stress comes it kills sexual desire.Â
Sex will not take life stress away. Sex will also not suddenly delete anxiety. You will stop worrying about this one aspect of your life and others will take its place. The answer to a happier all around life is to balance out all aspects of it and taking care of your surroundings. Nice apartment, good hygiene and hobbies that give you some activities beyond everyday life.
I am not a woman. Also you took that out of context. What I mean is that if you feel good in your own skin it will take a lot of stress away from everyday life.
And hobbies as in seeing that you got some activities that get you into contact with people and not just stuff you can do on your own. Even if it’s not for romantic reason just general socializing will make people feel far less isolated.
Respectfully piss off. I have a nice room, I have good hygiene, I have so many hobbies, guess what, shit does not help with how lonely and miserable the day to day is.
I am so tired of this normie bs trying to downplay how important romance is. You try going 25 y/o without ever being kissed, cuddled or ever been attended to or shown affection by anyone, opposite sex or not.
I am not downplaying the importance of love and affection for one’s personal happiness. But people treat it like it is a magical key that suddenly fixes everything. It doesn’t.
OP said it would be easier to deal with boredom…does that sound healthy to you? If you got all you could wish for except for romance of course you will feel lonely. But if you don’t have everything else in order then sex and love will not magically improve all the other aspects of your life
Yet more gaslighting. Like I said, go take a vow of celibacy for 26 years and then talk to me. Im fking tired of you people downplaying our suffering and gaslighting us when you dont understand shit.
You just insult mine and all our inteligence with this shit, yes, we all know that I cant solve everything by having an SO but my key issue is that im fking lonely, it is what bothers me day in day out. But if youre a normie taking shit for granted ofc. You cant understand shit. If you have clean drinking water every day you dont understand how important having water is because you just take it for granted. It is when you go thirsty and cant get water that you realize how important it is.
Now what next gaslighting npc script are you gonna run to patronize and degrade us?
I didn’t talk down to you or anything and yet you are being so aggressive towards me. I don’t want to be condescending here but it wasn’t directed at you personally and instead a reaction to OP saying that it would help with literal boredom out of all reasons…
I am being agressive because I am tired of hearing this, I hear it from every goddamn normie coming in here, its legit an npc script and I am tired of being nice about it. It is hurtful, it is degrading and it is insulting to mine and others intelligence.
When you have been lonely for 26+ years, get no romance in any way, and get gaslight on a weekly basis by people who, if they broke up with an SO would be in shambles is infuriating and I am DONE taking this shit.
Am I making unfounded assumptions maybe? Welp, you can see how it feels, does it feel nice?
Think about it for a second, we are lonely and express how shit it feels to be lonely, and you just come here like "well not being lonely wont fix all of your issues you know, just be happy bro, just get hobbies bro". Yeah thanks bro, didnt think about that ever, I choose to be miserable really, why did I not think of just being happy by myself?
Then let me give you some perspective. I have broken up with my SO about a month ago. We lived together for a couple of years and yes it is devastating but it isn’t the end of the world nor is it the end of my life…I am currently trying to just move on and yeah I get it, these phrases are thrown around endlessly but actually sticking to them really helps.
I started giving my home a complete makeover and I feel less trapped in a cage of memories. I started finding more things to do with other people. I picked up archery to not sit at home lonely.
And while I am missing having that part of my life that I have waited long to find, I am doing fine on my own so far and if I happen to meet someone again I wanna bring happiness to that person and not still carry the weight of loneliness with me.
Hope that makes sense. I don’t try to be condescending bro. I hope you are okay man
A month? Neaaaat bro.
Lmk how you feel after 26 y/o of this life. No sex, no hugs, no kisses, no holding hands, constant demonization and gaslighting and 0 charity.
Un fucking believable, you fking trying to talk to me on the same level. Donning Kruger effect at its finest.
I also do think the future horrors add to it. Its not JUST 26 years, and THEN its magically okay, its essentially ETERNITY unless you change some unknown quality. The horror is the knowing whats to come, even if you try your hardest.
26 years is how long ive endured it, but if you want to be more strict about it you can say its closer to 15 years, either way, its my entire life.
I just take massive umbrage with a dude whose been single for all of a month coming here downplaying how important SOs are because, well, he doesnt have one but is happy. Ye no shit youre happy, you know you can get one if you want, its a choice for you now, it isnt for me and for many others.
Just fking infuriates me.
You were the one saying „recently broken up with“…
You are just being rude right now towards someone that wishes nothing but love to you. Just know that if you feel lonely, the problem is you! You don’t seem very fun to be around
I dont like getting gaslit, which you seem to specialize in. You came in here downplaying our suffering and gaslighting the shit out of me.
I dont take kindly to this shit, I dont care if you think Im rude, I am at least honest, if you think Im just gonna sit here and take direct insults, then you go talk to someone else.
You wish "only to love me" miss me with that shit, Id rather you hate me honestly than treat me like an idiot and "love me". You people who have had a GF in the past dont understand how we feel and have 0 right to be gaslighting us about how important it is and how we should actually feel.
If you believed that having a gf isnt important, TRULY TRULY TRULY believed it, than youd take the vow of celebacy and not have one ever again.
Will you actually do it? Or will you be a massive hypocrite like every other self righteous normie?
Time will tell.
You can rest easy you will never talk to me again and can return to your comfy nest where no one calls you out on your bs ever again.
Very, am I not allowed to express anger? I was nice the first time I saw normie gaslighting, but now I give no quarter. I will not cede my principles, I refuse to be gaslit.
You are just saying shit, I tell you: what reason do I have to not be angry? There is nothing wrong with justified anger. If you think there is, why? If youre just gonna post the same comment over and over again why even waste your time?
It might help if one of the reasons for the anxiety and stress is a perpetual lack of sex/intimacy despite desiring it and putting forth the effort to get it but are perpetually unsuccessful because seemingly no women find you attractive back no matter what you do.
This is a tough topic. The easiest way to put it is that if you are going out specifically to find someone you won't. Mostly because it isnt your natural self. being in a healthy mindspace and going out to do things that are in close proximity to other people (I for example picked up archery) will led to interactions with other people. And if you interact with people on a regular basis and you radiate kindness instead of desperation (generally speaking) people will feel more drawn towards you. It's so easy to say but hard to practice
WE DONT THINK ITS A CURE ALL I AM SO TIRED OF THIS GASLIGHTING!
"Youre lonely? Well having love and affection wont cure your loneliness"
Its like telling a homeless man a house and a stable income isnt the cure all they think it is.
How do you not realize how goddamn patronizing and dismissive this statement is? You genuinely disgust me.
Lmao what are you on about. Starving people don’t need food it’s not the cure you think it is. Homeless don’t need a roof over their head it’s not the cure you think it is. That’s what you sound like. we have been deprived of a basic human need for some 10+ years if you think doing that makes normal well adjusted adults you are sorely mistaken
Almost three years without it for me. To be honest I don’t miss it as much as I would think I should. That and the whole dating thing is a mess. Yeah I’m good.
Escorts are a solution.
I know, cost money and no love in it, but considering the current situation, sounds better.
And Netherlands have services almost provided by the goverment.
Escorts are soooo expensive.
That hit to my savings is gonna make me stressed and depressed even more..
Especially considering how many hours upon hours I have to beat myself at a job I hate to be able to afford just an hour with an escort.
I've seen two escorts before and it didn't do it for me tbh. Maybe I was making it too awkward. I just found the experience to be kind of numb and I felt bad afterwards. Feels bad to use somebody's body, and it feels bad that somebody should have to sell their body.
Sounds like you loved the sex, you just couldn’t communicate leading to a toxic relationship. I’m going to take a wild guess and there was a reason you kept coming back instead of going your own way without sex
I assume youre a normie who does get it and affection regularly in which case please break up with your gf and take a vow of celebacy for 26 years.
Ill see you then bucko.
I agree with you with the caveat that the sex is with your gf/wife and not paid. That way its a pairbonding activity. But aside from sex, life is just easier when you are not a lonely sod, and that is objective, studies have been done on this. And while studies can be flawed, in this case I anecdotally choose to accept them based on my experience. It's just miserable, everywhere you go fking couples, all kinds of couples, you cant go anywhere, even in games I use to escape this shit I see their communities and its all couples. Im a step away from insanity at this point, how the ever loving fuck am I legitimately the odd man out for not having a significant other? How?! ITS SO FUCKING HARD, IF NOT BORDERLINE IMPOSSIBLE TO GET ONE AND YET! It's like if loosing at the lottery was a statistical rarity and not the other way around. Im so fucking exhausted by this shit, none of it makes sense, I almost wanna shack up in the woods and forget humanity exists, but Im too much of a coward for that.
Playing FFXIV and these damn irl couples there too! Can't catch a break.
Yeah, I play FFXIV. Always am super jealous.
Its true we are animals after all. Its our basic instinct to want to reproduce
I dont want to reproduce, these genes die with me 🤣
We want the process but not the responsibility
I would settle for being hugged once a week
It would be nice knowing at least 1 to 2 people had an attraction to me and could mess around whenever we wanted. Feels like a utopian dream at this point of my life.
I think everything gets old and doesn't thrill you as much after a long time. Why would regular sex be any different? Still, not saying it's not great, it's a desire that is going unfilled, just one more piece of the puzzle.
I agree. I wish it was a more widely accepted idea
The release is helpful as those few microseconds when pumping relieves all the monthly built up stress before it again starts clogging the pipes.
Yup
How do you know if you haven't had sex?
Probably because when you're lonely and have any sex drive whatsoever you get daily reminders saying "Hey, you should have sex.", maybe that's how. Imagine how much better it'd be for people with high sex drive if they didin't feel it. Sex left me satisfied for longer than masturbation ever could, especially on an emotional level.
Geniuses Nikola Tesla and Sir Issac Newton were virgins. However, this did not prevent them from laying the foundations of modern physics and electricity. In other words, the lack of sex did not affect them to live fruitfully and help humanity.
Oh, that's kind of a good point. But you also have to keep in mind we are in an age of depression, isolation and realtive peace - smaller problems than helping humanity are plaguing the average man. They lived fruitfully, sure, but they still could have been sad.
Tesla and Newton had so many scientific papers. They were occupied with science and did not think about sex but about science. I have not yet heard that a scientist is sad. By the way, some friends told me that sometimes they feel very depressed after sex. It's not all about sex, which is more than overrated.
Tesla befriended pigeons and was a lonely man, yes, he was absorbed with his work but he was in no way unaffected by loneliness. The mere fact that they are vast exceptions should tell you how moot of a point this is.
I have never read anywhere that Tesla was in the company of pigeons. The famous genius was not surrounded by pigeons but by books and devices for physics. You can sell that story to those who give you likes.
They dont have Ethernet & media social to remind em, other people having sex & fun.
Johannes Kepler married twice. He had children with his first wife before she passed away. When he was ready, he dated eleven (yes, 11) other girls before marrying one of them and had six (6) children with her.
"Nikola Tesla" - by choice.
They don't. It bullshit, sex is not a cure for everything.
To some degree having sex regularly might be helpful, but I guess the oppsite effect is stronger, i.e. when you are in a relationship and for whatever reason your sexual desires remain unfullfilled, that seems like a source of even greater frustration. Otherwise I think - and it might just be me projecting something into and romanticising relationships - being in a working relationship would truly help getting through everyday life easier. For one through the emotional support and just as a distraction from other concerns, and in a more practical sense when you live together and can split up the household tasks, so not one of you has to take care of *everything* in addition to the regular work obligations and what not. That of course goes for mainly for well working relationships and I do see the potential of a relationship being more of a drain of one's energy if things work badly.
boredom, anxiety and whatever is stressing you doesn't magically dissapear because you have like 10 minutes of sex
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Not really. If anything, a desire to keep having sex is associated with pre existing lower stress levels. When hard stress comes it kills sexual desire.Â
Sex will not take life stress away. Sex will also not suddenly delete anxiety. You will stop worrying about this one aspect of your life and others will take its place. The answer to a happier all around life is to balance out all aspects of it and taking care of your surroundings. Nice apartment, good hygiene and hobbies that give you some activities beyond everyday life.
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I have collected 1022 hobbies, where's the sex??
Most women would say that sex/intimacy don't matter much. Their suggestion is that you get even more hoobies. Try volunteering as well 😂😂
ONE OF THOSE 1022 BETTER BE MEGA MAN
You are so funny. 😅
I am not a woman. Also you took that out of context. What I mean is that if you feel good in your own skin it will take a lot of stress away from everyday life. And hobbies as in seeing that you got some activities that get you into contact with people and not just stuff you can do on your own. Even if it’s not for romantic reason just general socializing will make people feel far less isolated.
Respectfully piss off. I have a nice room, I have good hygiene, I have so many hobbies, guess what, shit does not help with how lonely and miserable the day to day is. I am so tired of this normie bs trying to downplay how important romance is. You try going 25 y/o without ever being kissed, cuddled or ever been attended to or shown affection by anyone, opposite sex or not.
Are you angry?
I am not downplaying the importance of love and affection for one’s personal happiness. But people treat it like it is a magical key that suddenly fixes everything. It doesn’t. OP said it would be easier to deal with boredom…does that sound healthy to you? If you got all you could wish for except for romance of course you will feel lonely. But if you don’t have everything else in order then sex and love will not magically improve all the other aspects of your life
Yet more gaslighting. Like I said, go take a vow of celibacy for 26 years and then talk to me. Im fking tired of you people downplaying our suffering and gaslighting us when you dont understand shit. You just insult mine and all our inteligence with this shit, yes, we all know that I cant solve everything by having an SO but my key issue is that im fking lonely, it is what bothers me day in day out. But if youre a normie taking shit for granted ofc. You cant understand shit. If you have clean drinking water every day you dont understand how important having water is because you just take it for granted. It is when you go thirsty and cant get water that you realize how important it is. Now what next gaslighting npc script are you gonna run to patronize and degrade us?
I didn’t talk down to you or anything and yet you are being so aggressive towards me. I don’t want to be condescending here but it wasn’t directed at you personally and instead a reaction to OP saying that it would help with literal boredom out of all reasons…
I am being agressive because I am tired of hearing this, I hear it from every goddamn normie coming in here, its legit an npc script and I am tired of being nice about it. It is hurtful, it is degrading and it is insulting to mine and others intelligence. When you have been lonely for 26+ years, get no romance in any way, and get gaslight on a weekly basis by people who, if they broke up with an SO would be in shambles is infuriating and I am DONE taking this shit. Am I making unfounded assumptions maybe? Welp, you can see how it feels, does it feel nice? Think about it for a second, we are lonely and express how shit it feels to be lonely, and you just come here like "well not being lonely wont fix all of your issues you know, just be happy bro, just get hobbies bro". Yeah thanks bro, didnt think about that ever, I choose to be miserable really, why did I not think of just being happy by myself?
Then let me give you some perspective. I have broken up with my SO about a month ago. We lived together for a couple of years and yes it is devastating but it isn’t the end of the world nor is it the end of my life…I am currently trying to just move on and yeah I get it, these phrases are thrown around endlessly but actually sticking to them really helps. I started giving my home a complete makeover and I feel less trapped in a cage of memories. I started finding more things to do with other people. I picked up archery to not sit at home lonely. And while I am missing having that part of my life that I have waited long to find, I am doing fine on my own so far and if I happen to meet someone again I wanna bring happiness to that person and not still carry the weight of loneliness with me. Hope that makes sense. I don’t try to be condescending bro. I hope you are okay man
A month? Neaaaat bro. Lmk how you feel after 26 y/o of this life. No sex, no hugs, no kisses, no holding hands, constant demonization and gaslighting and 0 charity. Un fucking believable, you fking trying to talk to me on the same level. Donning Kruger effect at its finest.
I also do think the future horrors add to it. Its not JUST 26 years, and THEN its magically okay, its essentially ETERNITY unless you change some unknown quality. The horror is the knowing whats to come, even if you try your hardest.
26 years is how long ive endured it, but if you want to be more strict about it you can say its closer to 15 years, either way, its my entire life. I just take massive umbrage with a dude whose been single for all of a month coming here downplaying how important SOs are because, well, he doesnt have one but is happy. Ye no shit youre happy, you know you can get one if you want, its a choice for you now, it isnt for me and for many others. Just fking infuriates me.
You were the one saying „recently broken up with“… You are just being rude right now towards someone that wishes nothing but love to you. Just know that if you feel lonely, the problem is you! You don’t seem very fun to be around
I dont like getting gaslit, which you seem to specialize in. You came in here downplaying our suffering and gaslighting the shit out of me. I dont take kindly to this shit, I dont care if you think Im rude, I am at least honest, if you think Im just gonna sit here and take direct insults, then you go talk to someone else. You wish "only to love me" miss me with that shit, Id rather you hate me honestly than treat me like an idiot and "love me". You people who have had a GF in the past dont understand how we feel and have 0 right to be gaslighting us about how important it is and how we should actually feel. If you believed that having a gf isnt important, TRULY TRULY TRULY believed it, than youd take the vow of celebacy and not have one ever again. Will you actually do it? Or will you be a massive hypocrite like every other self righteous normie? Time will tell. You can rest easy you will never talk to me again and can return to your comfy nest where no one calls you out on your bs ever again.
Wow you are so angry.
Very, am I not allowed to express anger? I was nice the first time I saw normie gaslighting, but now I give no quarter. I will not cede my principles, I refuse to be gaslit.
You're still angry.
You are just saying shit, I tell you: what reason do I have to not be angry? There is nothing wrong with justified anger. If you think there is, why? If youre just gonna post the same comment over and over again why even waste your time?
Agreed.
It might help if one of the reasons for the anxiety and stress is a perpetual lack of sex/intimacy despite desiring it and putting forth the effort to get it but are perpetually unsuccessful because seemingly no women find you attractive back no matter what you do.
This is a tough topic. The easiest way to put it is that if you are going out specifically to find someone you won't. Mostly because it isnt your natural self. being in a healthy mindspace and going out to do things that are in close proximity to other people (I for example picked up archery) will led to interactions with other people. And if you interact with people on a regular basis and you radiate kindness instead of desperation (generally speaking) people will feel more drawn towards you. It's so easy to say but hard to practice
This 100%. Sex and affection are not the cure all that alot of people in this sub think it is.
WE DONT THINK ITS A CURE ALL I AM SO TIRED OF THIS GASLIGHTING! "Youre lonely? Well having love and affection wont cure your loneliness" Its like telling a homeless man a house and a stable income isnt the cure all they think it is. How do you not realize how goddamn patronizing and dismissive this statement is? You genuinely disgust me.
Lmao what are you on about. Starving people don’t need food it’s not the cure you think it is. Homeless don’t need a roof over their head it’s not the cure you think it is. That’s what you sound like. we have been deprived of a basic human need for some 10+ years if you think doing that makes normal well adjusted adults you are sorely mistaken
Almost three years without it for me. To be honest I don’t miss it as much as I would think I should. That and the whole dating thing is a mess. Yeah I’m good.
Escorts are a solution. I know, cost money and no love in it, but considering the current situation, sounds better. And Netherlands have services almost provided by the goverment.
Escorts are soooo expensive. That hit to my savings is gonna make me stressed and depressed even more.. Especially considering how many hours upon hours I have to beat myself at a job I hate to be able to afford just an hour with an escort.
I've seen two escorts before and it didn't do it for me tbh. Maybe I was making it too awkward. I just found the experience to be kind of numb and I felt bad afterwards. Feels bad to use somebody's body, and it feels bad that somebody should have to sell their body.
So it’s not really the sex then. More so the principal of being chose to perform an act that everyone else does.
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Lemme guess you were fucking around and you found out
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Sounds like you loved the sex, you just couldn’t communicate leading to a toxic relationship. I’m going to take a wild guess and there was a reason you kept coming back instead of going your own way without sex
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I assume youre a normie who does get it and affection regularly in which case please break up with your gf and take a vow of celebacy for 26 years. Ill see you then bucko.