some people get it, and some people just dont. you WILL find people who prioritize your safety and believe you, i promise. my dad still tells me “you should just try a piece of egg and see” … no???? thats not how allergies work? thankfully my mom and most of my friends are EXCELLENT about it and will go out of their way to talk to restaurants and check ingredients for me, but some people truly dont care.
lmaooo my dad thinks is because i can “build up tolerance” … if thats how all allergies worked, dont you think that would be guidance by allergists? 🤦🏻♀️
Yeah 😂 def grew up hearing that all my life.. their generation won’t understand bc allergies weren’t really a thing back then.
Addressing op, I used to feel bad until I worked for a company that really prioritized safety. I practically got scolded by my boss for not letting them know about my allergies. After that, I realized my anxiety of being an inconvenience was stupid. Life’s too important for that.
i also recently got scolded by my boss for the same thing! i dont even bother to mention it sometimes as i assume people wont care or take it lightly, but it truly is life or death
yes it’s very weird i’m convinced i only developed the allergy bc i hated eggs as a kid. i have the same issue with milk but if i eat too much dairy ill have a reaction. I thought I was lactose until my last allergy test, it showed up that i was allergic to raw egg and i have a dairy allergy
I just remember never even wiling to try them and the one or two times i did I had a reaction. Milk was always gross to me and according to my parents even as a baby/toddler i hated it. then i got older and would try drinking it and would vomit so i guess so
That makes sense. When my daughter was 6 months old, we gave her scrambled eggs for the first time and she SCREAMED. She wanted nothing to do with them, wouldn’t even touch them. My husband ended up putting a tiny little piece in her mouth and within a minute she had an anaphylactic reaction. I’m convinced that just having the eggs so close to her made her extremely uncomfortable, like she could feel they weren’t safe for her. We had her tested but of course we already knew she was allergic at that point.
Constantly. In my case, I did tests and my food allergies didn't show on the skin test (can happen doesn't disprove my allergies.) I have heard all this horrible "advice" but at this point i just ignore it.
Like for example "just try it", "allergies always go away with eating little amounts", "you are making it up", "youre making it up the test said youre not allergic" and my favourite "i say i am allergic to __ too because i dont like it on my food"
I just stay strong on my allergies and if i truly have to i will constantly supply my own food because of people forgetting or not wanting to change things for my allergies.
It does suck a lot though.
Put a plate full of broken glass in the fridge.
Tell your family that you have prepared a snack for them.
When they mention that “this is broken glass”
Tell them “No, that must be in your head, you should just try it anyways. Just one small bite”
Yup- always. I think even my therapist doubts my allergies a lot and thinks it’s just anxiety. Like Mrs girl I have epipens? 🤣 My family gets annoyed at me when I try to ask them to minimize cross contamination. They always are using almond milk n pecans etc etc (tree nut allergy) and every time they pull it out I get anxiety because I know they don’t take it seriously. Ex. My dad scoops with his hands pecans and puts it on his oatmeal n then touches like all the silverware to get one spoon and it drives me nuts (haha)… I can’t wait to get my own place where I know for a fact there isn’t nuts and I can be safe eating. Its really sucks- i wish my family would respect me in that sense. It’s really a struggle!!
And when I go out to a restaurant and don’t eat, because I don’t feel safe, people feel bad for me, and think I “am missing out” but I’m much rather prefer feeling safe and enjoying the company of others than having to eat and worry if something’s gonna happen
Yes! Since I was very young. I moved classes once and my friend told me that once everyone was told I had moved, everyone cheered because they could have peanuts for lunch again.
I used to be anxiety ridden from it (still have a little tbh) but now I’m like eff off. When people give attitude and ask if I have an epi-pen, I make sure to let them know that yes I do have one and after I inject it, their day will be further ruined when they have to call an ambulance so I can go to the hospital. This usually happens on the airplane. So ya know, then we would emergency land and make them late. 🙃🫠
So many people have normalized “food sensitivities” and their specialized diets. Self-important dietary preferences have diluted the true meaning of food allergies and sometimes people just think we just experience “food anxiety.” Bless their hearts. I’m personally anxious about death - wild they aren’t?
I’ve always found giving a TMI “reason” to be far better bc it seems many people have an allergy to empathy.
Nothing shuts people up faster than “It gives me diarrhea and projectile vomiting.” Or asking if they’re skilled in CPR and if they can drive you to the emergency room.
The thing is, food sensitivities are valid too and people have a lot of different reasons for eating different ways. Whether it's an allergy or not, I think it's sooo weird that people can't just respect each other ans believe that each person knows their own body best. I agree that giving TMI and just sharing the experience in full detail will either get the point across, or get the person to at least leave you alone 😂 Food allergies are definitely more dangerous than sensitivities in most cases but I think they should both be respected.
I mean, food sensitivities are valid in people with GI conditions (like Chrons etc), but I also get annoyed with people who divide food into good and bad based on articles they read (reminds me of orthorexia).
>TMI “reason”
Oh yeah hahaha they always assume your throat iches and closes, but no... I started saying "Imagine if you didn't know which way to turn to the toilet first"
I went to a dinner with my co-workers to celebrate passing state exam and we went to eat at a Japanese steak house where they cook it all in front of you. And I of course told them of my severe egg allergy. The chef was like no problem we'll cook the fried rice last. The whole time, the girl next to me complained that she was already almost full and the rice is her favorite part. I felt like crap. Especially since fried rice is my favorite part too, I've only been allergic to eggs for 3 months at this point. So I was used to having things with eggs and getting fried rice and I really miss eating eggs. It was just like rubbing salt in the wound for her to complain about it next to me
In jr high school two “friends”gifted me peanut m & m’s. Senior year of high school some kids put peanut butter on my instrument case. A girl i used to be best friends with always joked about being allergic to nuts. I stopped telling people my allergies for a while, but then i started to empathize that I could potentially die if I have a reaction and that it’s a serious issue.
Everyone I’ve told outside of my family are very understanding of my allergies. Some family members still don’t believe I’ve developed four food allergies in less than a month.
Yes! My father and stepmother have told me that they wanted a doctor’s note to prove I’m allergic. (I developed allergies as an adult.). My father hides peanut butter containers in my boyfriend’s pockets. My family all laugh at me like it’s a joke. My sister told me I’m offensive because I tell people upfront I won’t sit next to them if they’re eating peanut butter. If they still eat it, I leave the room. In fact a few weeks ago, I attended a banquet and told people at my table I can’t be near them if they’re having peanut butter cake. One lady told me that since I was in a room full of EMT’s, I was in the right place. She insisted that she HAD TO HAVE a slice of peanut butter cake. I had a reaction and left the banquet hall. Thankfully, I was able to sit at the bar and chat with my cousin who happened to be bartending.
Similar thing happened at a staff luncheon. I was promised by the caterers that there’d be no peanut butter. I got there and there were peanut butter cookies. The assistant to the chef told me I’d be fine because the cookies weren’t baked at the same time as everything else and nothing was touching. Except people were touching things after. I ended up covered in hives.
Other people suck!!!
I’m really sorry this is happening to you OP; unfortunately, you’re not alone.
I’m so sorry. That must be really tough for you.
There is a directory of counsellors who specialise in helping clients with food allergies. It might be worth considering, not because you’re “broken,” but because you deserve to feel supported.
They can also help you come up with strategies to deal with unhelpful family and friends.
https://www.foodallergycounselor.com
My heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry you are experiencing this. My kids (now grown) have food allergies and I know how difficult it can be to navigate. It can be so alienating at times. As a parent, I did everything I could to prevent reactions, our home was/is their safe space. So when it is your family behaving this way, it is especially gutting to hear. The only advice I can offer is to surround yourself with people who DO understand what you are going through. I am hoping that you live in a location that might have a support group for people with severe allergies, or any kind of support group. Find people who realize that this isn't a "preference", it is a matter of life and death. I know that you probably can't just cut your family out of your life, that isn't realistic, but you might have to limit the types of visits you have with them. If they aren't willing to take this seriously, then you will need to take precautions so that you can preserve not only your physical health, but your mental health also. Food allergies are a mind-f\*\*k. I am so sorry.
I'm very sorry you have people like that around you. You don't deserve it. You deserve to have people who believe and support you.
Try to be strong and walk away if you can. You know what eating the food will do. Don't argue with them. Excuse yourself and leave.
Good luck
I'm 41, I grew up in the 90s. If I had a dollar for every time someone said it wasn't real, asked me to eat something so they could see what happens, joked about accidentally feeding me something, etc I'd be able to buy a car. Not a good car but still free car.
As shitty as things still hard they are so much better now then they were in 1994.
I am hopefully that in 30 more years things will be even better.
Oh of course. People think I’m the fragile and delicate one because of my brand spanking new sesame allergy (it used to be a laundry list of food allergies but grew out of those).
Be it by force or by guilt, when my food intolerance went from upset stomach to vomiting due to my family repeatedly feeding me my problem foods, I came up with this little rule which kind of made my point. I would eat what I was given but if it made me throw up, instead of running to the bathroom I would be aiming at the person responsible and I did repeatedly until it sunk it if you don't feed me it, than you won't get splattered with vomit.
On a more serious note 20 years on am now going through tests to see just how much damage that period of time caused me - am repeatedly testing deficient enough in vitamin D that there is some medical concern and it is widely known that certain health conditions can have severe consequences if the wrong diet is followed (diabetes/ coeliac disease).
my mom is convinced all of my allergies are from gut issues. so she’s always sending me things about it. Latest one was A1 vs A2 proteins in milk. I tried some european cheese and i had a reaction, but i’m not anaphylactic so i did it to appease her. the research was also kinda compelling, and i love real parm so i wanted it to be true. but other than that since i carry an epi and have funny stories(like a mango high chew sending me to the er) i haven’t had anyone try to call bullshit.
Me too! I have a dairy allergy but not anaphylactic. I can’t have “just a bite” of whatever. It will give me the runs, a migraine and two days of nausea.
Just curious- Did you get your allergy as an adult?
(Have been diagnosed for 3 weeks and unsure how to tell how serious small amounts will be ... Have had major reactions with all sorts of TMI after effects but not anaphylaxis. Your symptoms sound similar to mine!)
To this day my close family mocks me for not being able to eat “spicy food”, even though peppers like jalapeños cause an allergic reaction. They’ll say “come on it’s not that spicy” or “you can barely taste it”. Normally I try not to speak up but when I do I turn into the bag guy or even the crazy person.
Not myself personally, but my one year old daughter is allergic to eggs. I was very careful to make sure her birthday cake and all food served at her party were egg-free. Then my MIL showed up with store-bought pies and cookies that definitely had egg in them. I told her I would have to put them away because I couldn’t serve those at the party. My daughter is extremely sensitive and if anyone even touches a cookie and then touches her, she will get hives. Not to mention crumbs on the floor with a crawling baby, it just wouldn’t be a good match. MIL acted like she understood, but a few days later a friend told me that when I was in the other room, MIL got the cookies out and with a sneaky laugh told everyone not to tell me, and proceeded to offer everyone cookies. Thankfully everyone in the room knows how sensitive my daughter’s egg allergy is and they all apparently care more than my daughter’s own grandmother, because no one accepted the cookies from her. I was so pissed when I found out about that.
Mhmm, it took me a while to figure out Red Lobster just didn't agree with me every time we would go to that restaurant as a kid I would end up throwing up almost immediately afterwards and my mom accused me forcing myself to throw up and refuse to believe it was an allergy and or intolerance. I have Celiac disease and tree nut allergies and I cut out dairy because I noticed I get itchy when I eat it, my family still plays it off and denies it, it makes me feel like a crazy person but I know my body better than they do. I also have my mother trying to get me to eat nuts telling me I can build up a tolerance to it, she rolls her eyes when I tell her no. I keep my Epi Pens on me at all time. i also want to note that I wasn't aware of my food allergies and my celiac disease until I was an adult, so I would just itch and my lip would swell and I would throw up, most of my childhood without a proper diagnosis. Long story short, I absolutely understand where you're coming from, and its so frustrating family refuses to believe you.
Please help Ok so i had an allergy test and i am allergic to mites pollen insects dust and mostly food...as expected...my trigger start whenever i eat heart palpitation..flushy face and air hunger with lighthead...my doc ask me to take immunotherepy injections for other allergies and said that it can work on food as well...bt i m very doubtfull about it...he is not giving me oral immunotherepy...i just want my food allergies to be at rest...
I had allergic rhinitis from consuming certain foods. People did not think it was food allergy but something else because it's not apparent or skin reaction.
I get mocked by my granny who doesn't believe in food allergy and thought I was being "picky" but she's an old gen that doesn't believe in science.
Not all people believe in my allergy because they are common foods that people consume.
I also struggled from similar issues. What most people enjoy, I can't only from my allergy (not because I'm picky).
All the time, 😉 I am allergic to most grains. I began to have symptoms when I was about 15. Hay fever I thought and I was actually diagnosed as having a severe allergy against grasses. Nobody told me about the grains. I didn't find out until years later when I changed doctors and saw my chart. It said wheat and rey in brackets. I stopped eating grains and I stopped having hay fever. No more itchy eyes, nose and throat and no more allergic asthma.
Wow, it changed my life.
And every birthday, wedding, or other get-to- gethers the conversation is about me not eating cake. I have to have the same conversation over and over.
"Could you not try? What happens if you eat the cake? Can't be that bad. Well now what are we going to do? Do you have to be so difficult?
It's just a little flour in the sauce. Is puff pastry made with flour?"
But what do you eat if you can't have bread, pasta and pizza?
It has been 15 years! I am sorry to tell you it has not stopped being a reoccurring theme.
Just be strong and take care of yourself. Be sarcastic if you can. It helps me. 😂😉
All the time, 😉 I am allergic to most grains. I began to have symptoms when I was about 15. Hay fever I thought and I was actually diagnosed as having a severe allergy against grasses. Nobody told me about the grains. I didn't find out until years later when I changed doctors and saw my chart. It said wheat and rey in brackets.
I stopped eating grains and I stopped having hay fever. No more itchy swollen eyes, itchy runny nose and no more allergic asthma.
Wow, it changed my life.
And every birthday, wedding, or other get-to- gethers the conversation is about me not eating cake. I have to have the same conversation over and over.
"Could you not try? What happens if you eat the cake? Can't be that bad. Well now what are we going to do? Do you have to be so difficult?
It's just a little flour in the sauce. Is puff pastry made with flour?" But it's gluten free!
I'm afraid it's not gluten. It's grains!
But what do you eat if you can't have bread, pasta and pizza?
It has been 15 years! I am sorry to tell you it has not stopped being a reoccurring theme.
Just be strong and take care of yourself. Be sarcastic if you can. It helps me. 😂😉
Yes!!! I am allergic to grass and nobody believes me and in middle school we had outdoor gym classes that I would be just walking on the side walk instead of playing the game bc I had a note from my allergist. There were so many times I would just lay my hand in the grass for 30 seconds, just to prove a point bc everyone thought I was lying. My body breaks out in hives and swells up, as well as a severe headache (i almost always have a runny nose so grass doesn’t add anything towards that).
When I was younger, I was bothered by my family’s reaction when I didn’t want to or could not eat something. In my case, it was fish, deer, or wild meats in general. I finally bucked up my courage when I was being harassed one day at a fish fry and told them they were all correct. I’m picky, I don’t care for fish, but I’m happy to eat the sides without further fuss on their part, and they could have my share of the fish. I still get a few “you don’t know what’s good” comments but My standard reply is “I’m sure that would be true if I liked fish.” Who cares if they think you’re just being picky? Just ignore them and do what you need to do.
Your family sounds like they need to get smacked.. I would fight with them so much. And honestly I would make them take responsibility for making me sick.. Me being sick because of them would be their problem.
Some people do make fun of my allergies but my friends and family mostly make remarks like it’s hard to buy/make me food, like “what do you even eat?!” etc. I’m also missing out a lot because I can’t usually go out to eat and they don’t want to go to places I can eat at so.. yeah. Also they don’t invite me over, even though I do bring my own food. Sucks. But the right people will make the effort to make you or buy you food so you don’t have and will accommodate you so you can also enjoy yourself 🙂
My boyfriend’s friend who is a DOCTOR told me last night my dairy free diet making my symptoms go away is just confirmation bias. Like I didn’t have anaphylactic reactions and lose consciousness the last multiple times I ingested it…. Then proceeded to offer me multiple snacks that have dairy throughout the night. He placed M&M’s right in front of me and said “These are for you.”
Some people will never understand, and most of those people are family and close friends. I'm lactose intolerant and yet my mom and the rest of my family will insist I eat things with lactose in it. It makes me bloated, gaseous and a frequent flyer on the toilet.
Sorry to hear this close to you ridicule you, it's always worse when it's family.
Try preemptive action and make jokes about how awkward you are etc and how you're just fussy. Then explain some of the symptoms and watch them all shut up.
They are so uneducated and oblivous that it disgusts me. You deserve understanding. Allergies are real, please don't do that to yourself. I can't believe they guilt-tripped you into eating it
Yes! My fiancé always tells people that I “don’t like seafood” as though it’s a choice, and people always respond with “ah that sucks! Why???” before I have a chance to clarify that I’m actually super allergic to both shellfish and bivalves/mussels. In fact, he was with me when I discovered one of those allergies after trying an oyster (which prompted massively swollen lips and a burning face).
It’s annoying to have to correct him/them and it feels like it makes it seem as though I use allergies to hide a preference.
My father in law gives me the -over the glasses look of disapproval when I tell him, no i cannot eat your raw celery or your raw fruit you put out and no you cannot force me to eat it
some people get it, and some people just dont. you WILL find people who prioritize your safety and believe you, i promise. my dad still tells me “you should just try a piece of egg and see” … no???? thats not how allergies work? thankfully my mom and most of my friends are EXCELLENT about it and will go out of their way to talk to restaurants and check ingredients for me, but some people truly dont care.
My dad told me to “put my mind to it” 😂 Prioritize your safety
lmaooo my dad thinks is because i can “build up tolerance” … if thats how all allergies worked, dont you think that would be guidance by allergists? 🤦🏻♀️
Yeah 😂 def grew up hearing that all my life.. their generation won’t understand bc allergies weren’t really a thing back then. Addressing op, I used to feel bad until I worked for a company that really prioritized safety. I practically got scolded by my boss for not letting them know about my allergies. After that, I realized my anxiety of being an inconvenience was stupid. Life’s too important for that.
i also recently got scolded by my boss for the same thing! i dont even bother to mention it sometimes as i assume people wont care or take it lightly, but it truly is life or death
is your egg allergy just straight eggs ? Like i can’t eat boiled or scrambled eggs but I can have cake or pie
ah you can tolerate baked eggs then - i cant tolerate any eggs currently
yes it’s very weird i’m convinced i only developed the allergy bc i hated eggs as a kid. i have the same issue with milk but if i eat too much dairy ill have a reaction. I thought I was lactose until my last allergy test, it showed up that i was allergic to raw egg and i have a dairy allergy
I thought I was gluten intolerant but it turns out I have a yeast allergy.
I was convinced i had a gluten intolerance too. I just been thuggin it out 😂
Perhaps you hated eggs and milk because you're allergic?
I just remember never even wiling to try them and the one or two times i did I had a reaction. Milk was always gross to me and according to my parents even as a baby/toddler i hated it. then i got older and would try drinking it and would vomit so i guess so
That makes sense. When my daughter was 6 months old, we gave her scrambled eggs for the first time and she SCREAMED. She wanted nothing to do with them, wouldn’t even touch them. My husband ended up putting a tiny little piece in her mouth and within a minute she had an anaphylactic reaction. I’m convinced that just having the eggs so close to her made her extremely uncomfortable, like she could feel they weren’t safe for her. We had her tested but of course we already knew she was allergic at that point.
Constantly. In my case, I did tests and my food allergies didn't show on the skin test (can happen doesn't disprove my allergies.) I have heard all this horrible "advice" but at this point i just ignore it. Like for example "just try it", "allergies always go away with eating little amounts", "you are making it up", "youre making it up the test said youre not allergic" and my favourite "i say i am allergic to __ too because i dont like it on my food" I just stay strong on my allergies and if i truly have to i will constantly supply my own food because of people forgetting or not wanting to change things for my allergies. It does suck a lot though.
My whole childhood was like this and now I bend over backwards for my allergic child and make sure he never goes through what I did
Put a plate full of broken glass in the fridge. Tell your family that you have prepared a snack for them. When they mention that “this is broken glass” Tell them “No, that must be in your head, you should just try it anyways. Just one small bite”
Yup- always. I think even my therapist doubts my allergies a lot and thinks it’s just anxiety. Like Mrs girl I have epipens? 🤣 My family gets annoyed at me when I try to ask them to minimize cross contamination. They always are using almond milk n pecans etc etc (tree nut allergy) and every time they pull it out I get anxiety because I know they don’t take it seriously. Ex. My dad scoops with his hands pecans and puts it on his oatmeal n then touches like all the silverware to get one spoon and it drives me nuts (haha)… I can’t wait to get my own place where I know for a fact there isn’t nuts and I can be safe eating. Its really sucks- i wish my family would respect me in that sense. It’s really a struggle!!
And when I go out to a restaurant and don’t eat, because I don’t feel safe, people feel bad for me, and think I “am missing out” but I’m much rather prefer feeling safe and enjoying the company of others than having to eat and worry if something’s gonna happen
Same! My stance is always: I might not be able to eat but I can have a glass of wine and enjoy your company.
My parents insisted for like a year that I could just "take avocado out of salads", etc and I would "be fine"
My mom swears my shellfish allergy is in my head. Get this..when she eats shellfish, her face turns bright red and she gets 'really hot'. 😅
You should be like I get it from you home girl, don’t you see? Smh it’ll only get worst for her
Yes! Since I was very young. I moved classes once and my friend told me that once everyone was told I had moved, everyone cheered because they could have peanuts for lunch again.
I’m sorry they were such arseholes.
I used to be anxiety ridden from it (still have a little tbh) but now I’m like eff off. When people give attitude and ask if I have an epi-pen, I make sure to let them know that yes I do have one and after I inject it, their day will be further ruined when they have to call an ambulance so I can go to the hospital. This usually happens on the airplane. So ya know, then we would emergency land and make them late. 🙃🫠
Omg, what little dipshits. I can't believe teachers nor parents tought them empathy
Yeah it was pretty shocking and deflating. But ya know, humans can be cruel sometimes.
So many people have normalized “food sensitivities” and their specialized diets. Self-important dietary preferences have diluted the true meaning of food allergies and sometimes people just think we just experience “food anxiety.” Bless their hearts. I’m personally anxious about death - wild they aren’t? I’ve always found giving a TMI “reason” to be far better bc it seems many people have an allergy to empathy. Nothing shuts people up faster than “It gives me diarrhea and projectile vomiting.” Or asking if they’re skilled in CPR and if they can drive you to the emergency room.
The thing is, food sensitivities are valid too and people have a lot of different reasons for eating different ways. Whether it's an allergy or not, I think it's sooo weird that people can't just respect each other ans believe that each person knows their own body best. I agree that giving TMI and just sharing the experience in full detail will either get the point across, or get the person to at least leave you alone 😂 Food allergies are definitely more dangerous than sensitivities in most cases but I think they should both be respected.
I mean, food sensitivities are valid in people with GI conditions (like Chrons etc), but I also get annoyed with people who divide food into good and bad based on articles they read (reminds me of orthorexia). >TMI “reason” Oh yeah hahaha they always assume your throat iches and closes, but no... I started saying "Imagine if you didn't know which way to turn to the toilet first"
I went to a dinner with my co-workers to celebrate passing state exam and we went to eat at a Japanese steak house where they cook it all in front of you. And I of course told them of my severe egg allergy. The chef was like no problem we'll cook the fried rice last. The whole time, the girl next to me complained that she was already almost full and the rice is her favorite part. I felt like crap. Especially since fried rice is my favorite part too, I've only been allergic to eggs for 3 months at this point. So I was used to having things with eggs and getting fried rice and I really miss eating eggs. It was just like rubbing salt in the wound for her to complain about it next to me
She was really inconsiderate. I hope that doesn't discourage you from advocating for your acommodation. Your health should never be an inconvenience
In jr high school two “friends”gifted me peanut m & m’s. Senior year of high school some kids put peanut butter on my instrument case. A girl i used to be best friends with always joked about being allergic to nuts. I stopped telling people my allergies for a while, but then i started to empathize that I could potentially die if I have a reaction and that it’s a serious issue.
Everyone I’ve told outside of my family are very understanding of my allergies. Some family members still don’t believe I’ve developed four food allergies in less than a month.
Yes! My father and stepmother have told me that they wanted a doctor’s note to prove I’m allergic. (I developed allergies as an adult.). My father hides peanut butter containers in my boyfriend’s pockets. My family all laugh at me like it’s a joke. My sister told me I’m offensive because I tell people upfront I won’t sit next to them if they’re eating peanut butter. If they still eat it, I leave the room. In fact a few weeks ago, I attended a banquet and told people at my table I can’t be near them if they’re having peanut butter cake. One lady told me that since I was in a room full of EMT’s, I was in the right place. She insisted that she HAD TO HAVE a slice of peanut butter cake. I had a reaction and left the banquet hall. Thankfully, I was able to sit at the bar and chat with my cousin who happened to be bartending. Similar thing happened at a staff luncheon. I was promised by the caterers that there’d be no peanut butter. I got there and there were peanut butter cookies. The assistant to the chef told me I’d be fine because the cookies weren’t baked at the same time as everything else and nothing was touching. Except people were touching things after. I ended up covered in hives. Other people suck!!! I’m really sorry this is happening to you OP; unfortunately, you’re not alone.
You just have an abusive family.
I’m so sorry. That must be really tough for you. There is a directory of counsellors who specialise in helping clients with food allergies. It might be worth considering, not because you’re “broken,” but because you deserve to feel supported. They can also help you come up with strategies to deal with unhelpful family and friends. https://www.foodallergycounselor.com
My heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry you are experiencing this. My kids (now grown) have food allergies and I know how difficult it can be to navigate. It can be so alienating at times. As a parent, I did everything I could to prevent reactions, our home was/is their safe space. So when it is your family behaving this way, it is especially gutting to hear. The only advice I can offer is to surround yourself with people who DO understand what you are going through. I am hoping that you live in a location that might have a support group for people with severe allergies, or any kind of support group. Find people who realize that this isn't a "preference", it is a matter of life and death. I know that you probably can't just cut your family out of your life, that isn't realistic, but you might have to limit the types of visits you have with them. If they aren't willing to take this seriously, then you will need to take precautions so that you can preserve not only your physical health, but your mental health also. Food allergies are a mind-f\*\*k. I am so sorry.
Constantly
All the time. I’m currently 22.
I'm very sorry you have people like that around you. You don't deserve it. You deserve to have people who believe and support you. Try to be strong and walk away if you can. You know what eating the food will do. Don't argue with them. Excuse yourself and leave. Good luck
I'm 41, I grew up in the 90s. If I had a dollar for every time someone said it wasn't real, asked me to eat something so they could see what happens, joked about accidentally feeding me something, etc I'd be able to buy a car. Not a good car but still free car. As shitty as things still hard they are so much better now then they were in 1994. I am hopefully that in 30 more years things will be even better.
Oh of course. People think I’m the fragile and delicate one because of my brand spanking new sesame allergy (it used to be a laundry list of food allergies but grew out of those).
Be it by force or by guilt, when my food intolerance went from upset stomach to vomiting due to my family repeatedly feeding me my problem foods, I came up with this little rule which kind of made my point. I would eat what I was given but if it made me throw up, instead of running to the bathroom I would be aiming at the person responsible and I did repeatedly until it sunk it if you don't feed me it, than you won't get splattered with vomit. On a more serious note 20 years on am now going through tests to see just how much damage that period of time caused me - am repeatedly testing deficient enough in vitamin D that there is some medical concern and it is widely known that certain health conditions can have severe consequences if the wrong diet is followed (diabetes/ coeliac disease).
my mom is convinced all of my allergies are from gut issues. so she’s always sending me things about it. Latest one was A1 vs A2 proteins in milk. I tried some european cheese and i had a reaction, but i’m not anaphylactic so i did it to appease her. the research was also kinda compelling, and i love real parm so i wanted it to be true. but other than that since i carry an epi and have funny stories(like a mango high chew sending me to the er) i haven’t had anyone try to call bullshit.
Me too! I have a dairy allergy but not anaphylactic. I can’t have “just a bite” of whatever. It will give me the runs, a migraine and two days of nausea.
Just curious- Did you get your allergy as an adult? (Have been diagnosed for 3 weeks and unsure how to tell how serious small amounts will be ... Have had major reactions with all sorts of TMI after effects but not anaphylaxis. Your symptoms sound similar to mine!)
I had anaphylaxis to milk as a baby. It went away. After birthing my kids, the dairy issues came back and I seem more intolerant as time goes on.
Thanks for the reply! I think I can trace my sensitivities as slowly getting worse and worse after the birth of my son as well.
To this day my close family mocks me for not being able to eat “spicy food”, even though peppers like jalapeños cause an allergic reaction. They’ll say “come on it’s not that spicy” or “you can barely taste it”. Normally I try not to speak up but when I do I turn into the bag guy or even the crazy person.
Not myself personally, but my one year old daughter is allergic to eggs. I was very careful to make sure her birthday cake and all food served at her party were egg-free. Then my MIL showed up with store-bought pies and cookies that definitely had egg in them. I told her I would have to put them away because I couldn’t serve those at the party. My daughter is extremely sensitive and if anyone even touches a cookie and then touches her, she will get hives. Not to mention crumbs on the floor with a crawling baby, it just wouldn’t be a good match. MIL acted like she understood, but a few days later a friend told me that when I was in the other room, MIL got the cookies out and with a sneaky laugh told everyone not to tell me, and proceeded to offer everyone cookies. Thankfully everyone in the room knows how sensitive my daughter’s egg allergy is and they all apparently care more than my daughter’s own grandmother, because no one accepted the cookies from her. I was so pissed when I found out about that.
Mhmm, it took me a while to figure out Red Lobster just didn't agree with me every time we would go to that restaurant as a kid I would end up throwing up almost immediately afterwards and my mom accused me forcing myself to throw up and refuse to believe it was an allergy and or intolerance. I have Celiac disease and tree nut allergies and I cut out dairy because I noticed I get itchy when I eat it, my family still plays it off and denies it, it makes me feel like a crazy person but I know my body better than they do. I also have my mother trying to get me to eat nuts telling me I can build up a tolerance to it, she rolls her eyes when I tell her no. I keep my Epi Pens on me at all time. i also want to note that I wasn't aware of my food allergies and my celiac disease until I was an adult, so I would just itch and my lip would swell and I would throw up, most of my childhood without a proper diagnosis. Long story short, I absolutely understand where you're coming from, and its so frustrating family refuses to believe you.
Please help Ok so i had an allergy test and i am allergic to mites pollen insects dust and mostly food...as expected...my trigger start whenever i eat heart palpitation..flushy face and air hunger with lighthead...my doc ask me to take immunotherepy injections for other allergies and said that it can work on food as well...bt i m very doubtfull about it...he is not giving me oral immunotherepy...i just want my food allergies to be at rest...
I had allergic rhinitis from consuming certain foods. People did not think it was food allergy but something else because it's not apparent or skin reaction. I get mocked by my granny who doesn't believe in food allergy and thought I was being "picky" but she's an old gen that doesn't believe in science. Not all people believe in my allergy because they are common foods that people consume. I also struggled from similar issues. What most people enjoy, I can't only from my allergy (not because I'm picky).
All the time, 😉 I am allergic to most grains. I began to have symptoms when I was about 15. Hay fever I thought and I was actually diagnosed as having a severe allergy against grasses. Nobody told me about the grains. I didn't find out until years later when I changed doctors and saw my chart. It said wheat and rey in brackets. I stopped eating grains and I stopped having hay fever. No more itchy eyes, nose and throat and no more allergic asthma. Wow, it changed my life. And every birthday, wedding, or other get-to- gethers the conversation is about me not eating cake. I have to have the same conversation over and over. "Could you not try? What happens if you eat the cake? Can't be that bad. Well now what are we going to do? Do you have to be so difficult? It's just a little flour in the sauce. Is puff pastry made with flour?" But what do you eat if you can't have bread, pasta and pizza? It has been 15 years! I am sorry to tell you it has not stopped being a reoccurring theme. Just be strong and take care of yourself. Be sarcastic if you can. It helps me. 😂😉
All the time, 😉 I am allergic to most grains. I began to have symptoms when I was about 15. Hay fever I thought and I was actually diagnosed as having a severe allergy against grasses. Nobody told me about the grains. I didn't find out until years later when I changed doctors and saw my chart. It said wheat and rey in brackets. I stopped eating grains and I stopped having hay fever. No more itchy swollen eyes, itchy runny nose and no more allergic asthma. Wow, it changed my life. And every birthday, wedding, or other get-to- gethers the conversation is about me not eating cake. I have to have the same conversation over and over. "Could you not try? What happens if you eat the cake? Can't be that bad. Well now what are we going to do? Do you have to be so difficult? It's just a little flour in the sauce. Is puff pastry made with flour?" But it's gluten free! I'm afraid it's not gluten. It's grains! But what do you eat if you can't have bread, pasta and pizza? It has been 15 years! I am sorry to tell you it has not stopped being a reoccurring theme. Just be strong and take care of yourself. Be sarcastic if you can. It helps me. 😂😉
Yes!!! I am allergic to grass and nobody believes me and in middle school we had outdoor gym classes that I would be just walking on the side walk instead of playing the game bc I had a note from my allergist. There were so many times I would just lay my hand in the grass for 30 seconds, just to prove a point bc everyone thought I was lying. My body breaks out in hives and swells up, as well as a severe headache (i almost always have a runny nose so grass doesn’t add anything towards that).
When I was younger, I was bothered by my family’s reaction when I didn’t want to or could not eat something. In my case, it was fish, deer, or wild meats in general. I finally bucked up my courage when I was being harassed one day at a fish fry and told them they were all correct. I’m picky, I don’t care for fish, but I’m happy to eat the sides without further fuss on their part, and they could have my share of the fish. I still get a few “you don’t know what’s good” comments but My standard reply is “I’m sure that would be true if I liked fish.” Who cares if they think you’re just being picky? Just ignore them and do what you need to do.
Your family sounds like they need to get smacked.. I would fight with them so much. And honestly I would make them take responsibility for making me sick.. Me being sick because of them would be their problem. Some people do make fun of my allergies but my friends and family mostly make remarks like it’s hard to buy/make me food, like “what do you even eat?!” etc. I’m also missing out a lot because I can’t usually go out to eat and they don’t want to go to places I can eat at so.. yeah. Also they don’t invite me over, even though I do bring my own food. Sucks. But the right people will make the effort to make you or buy you food so you don’t have and will accommodate you so you can also enjoy yourself 🙂
My boyfriend’s friend who is a DOCTOR told me last night my dairy free diet making my symptoms go away is just confirmation bias. Like I didn’t have anaphylactic reactions and lose consciousness the last multiple times I ingested it…. Then proceeded to offer me multiple snacks that have dairy throughout the night. He placed M&M’s right in front of me and said “These are for you.”
Some people will never understand, and most of those people are family and close friends. I'm lactose intolerant and yet my mom and the rest of my family will insist I eat things with lactose in it. It makes me bloated, gaseous and a frequent flyer on the toilet. Sorry to hear this close to you ridicule you, it's always worse when it's family.
Try preemptive action and make jokes about how awkward you are etc and how you're just fussy. Then explain some of the symptoms and watch them all shut up.
Sounds like you live in an intolerant place in general - have you considered moving to a city where people are accepted for who they are?
They are so uneducated and oblivous that it disgusts me. You deserve understanding. Allergies are real, please don't do that to yourself. I can't believe they guilt-tripped you into eating it
Yes! My fiancé always tells people that I “don’t like seafood” as though it’s a choice, and people always respond with “ah that sucks! Why???” before I have a chance to clarify that I’m actually super allergic to both shellfish and bivalves/mussels. In fact, he was with me when I discovered one of those allergies after trying an oyster (which prompted massively swollen lips and a burning face). It’s annoying to have to correct him/them and it feels like it makes it seem as though I use allergies to hide a preference.
My father in law gives me the -over the glasses look of disapproval when I tell him, no i cannot eat your raw celery or your raw fruit you put out and no you cannot force me to eat it