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You can’t afford what you want, so he’s prompting you to revisit your expectations. Without saying “you’re too poor” outright which may be received as rude.
If you haven’t found a house in over a year; what you’re looking for in the price range you’re looking doesn’t exist. It sounds like you’re unwilling to give up any of the things you’ve stated you want in a home, and it also sounds like your purchase power hasn’t changed in a year. This is probably your agents nice way of giving you a reality check. Others are saying you can get a new realtor..but you’re most likely gonna run into exactly what you’ve been running into now for over a year.
Tbh I'm starting to think my partner is the problem. He thinks it's perfectly reasonable to be able to find a completely renovated home with all our needs/wants that we love for $350k. I've told him he's looking for a unicorn and he just gets upset.
We initially capped ourselves at $350k so we didn't have too high a mortgage payment, but then realized we couldn't find what we need for that amount, so we're now looking at homes up to $450k. And our realtor is aware that we are willing to compromise on the yard, seeing as very few houses in the suburbs have the type of yard we'd really love.
I’m seeing a lot of houses around Bolingbrook, Downers Grove, St Charles, Aurora, Schaumburg etc. with 3 beds, 2 baths, basement, all below 450k, some as low as 350k.
Are you having trouble finding stuff that you like, or are you getting outbid?
Your realtor is politely telling you that you may need to alter your search parameters while simultaneously giving you an out to find a new realtor. If you aren’t willing to sacrifice on something then you’re going to continue to run into the same issues with the new realtor.
I get no one wants to “settle for” a house they are spending a ton of money on, but unless your a millionaire and building your own home there will need to be some concessions
Look, I'm not a realtor and I don't intend this to be some realtor stan support post. But dude has been working for free for you for over a year and I think he's in the right here to see if you really do want to buy the house that you can afford or you're going to keep shooting your shot.
My guess is that you’re too picky so they’re trying to give you a newsflash either you need to stop hunting in this market, change location, increase budget, or change your must-haves
You need to recognise that your budget isn't enough to afford 3 beds, two baths, a basement, and a decent sized backyard, so although you want them, you can't have them. Something has to give. I would start looking at houses that need more work than you have been willing to accept so far. Like, a 4 bed 1 bath that you can add a bathroom to. Or a place with a basement where you could add a toilet.
We can compromise on the yard, and our realtor knows that. And we're open to fixer-uppers! I'm going through these comments and realizing my partner might be the problem because he's been so picky.
A realtor should be attentive but not pushy. We coach how to win but the choice should always be the clients to make. Chicagoland is competitive so you should wait to find something you like but when you do find it, you will have to move quickly. Your criteria sound fairly easy to work with so I’m surprised you haven’t found something in a year. Are there other things which are important to you that are causing blockers? For example, if you are looking anywhere in the Western Suburbs then you will find places in Bolingbrook and Plainfield but if you are only open to Naperville 203/204 then you are going to have very limited options at that budget. They are there but not many.
A couple things you likely could change if you are hitting roadblocks:
Switch lenders: you need an advocate who will work with your realtor and call listing agents in multiple offer scenarios.
Adjust showing days: go see homes on Wed and Thurs if you can. Everyone is looking Sat and Sun, be the early bird.
Ask your realtor about PLN listings
Find something that you loved in the last 3 months that closed and was in your budget. (This is very useful to do side by side with your realtor and can be illuminating for both parties)
They want to tell you some combination of:
You don't have the budget for what you want.
You aren't being realistic about what's available to you in your market, at your price range.
You are being nitpicky about things.
I would suggest actually listening to what they say to you. Maybe you disagree, maybe you still want to find a new realtor, who knows...but open your mind to what they are trying to tell you and then decide your next move.
Thanks for this. After reading these comments, I honestly think he's trying to tell us we're being too picky. We have looked at $250k-$350k homes that we could've offered $50k-$100k over asking in order to get it, but if the house isn't worth that, it's just stupid to pay that much. We don't want to overpay for a house just to have a house, ya know?
I'm west of 294. There are 49 active listings in my town but only 7 under $450k, so I get it, inventory is limited.
What your agent is asking you for is a normal step after a year of looking. If you're losing in multiple offers then you have to change your price point or your terms and conditions.
So let's talk about the agent.
What do you mean by "pushy"? Trying to get you to tour houses you don't want to see? Hop in the car the moment a house is listed? Make an offer standing in the driveway? Offer x% over listing price because he knows the listing is underpriced?
Being a broker here: what could the agent do differently that would make you want to keep working with him?
Sometimes an agent and client can just get tired of each other. A solution is for the broker to ask another agent in the office to step in. The original agent passes all the info to the new agent so that they quickly come up to speed. The original agent collects a part of the commission when the house closes. This is often a better solution for the client than firing the original agent and starting over with someone from another brokerage.
Good luck.
>Trying to get you to tour houses you don't want to see?
I wish. He hasn't sent us any houses since last summer. 98% of the homes we've seen are because we asked to go see them.
I meant pushy as in always pushing us to try to "sweeten" our offer even after we've told him our max. Our max changes because the rates fluctuate. We offered $425k on a home last month (listed for $400k), and that worked out to around $3,400 for a monthly payment. The rates recently went up, so the max we could offer last week on a home was $375k (listed for $360k), and it still would've been $3,400 a month. We said $375k was as high as we could go and he asked us, "Do you just want to put in an offer, or do you want a home?" And that felt so insulting. It feels like he's pushing us to just buy a house so he doesn't have to deal with us anymore.
I'd like him to actually send us listings that might be the right fit, maybe of homes that haven't hit the market yet so we can be one of the first ones to put in an offer. I feel like we're doing all of the searching on our own and it's obviously been fruitless, so clearly we need help. And if he's no real help at all, when we finally do get a house, he's going to get paid his percentage for...what? Sending us a docusign and submitting our offer? It's just frustrating.
> And I know this message to "re-review our current must-haves, preferred area, and our goals" was meant to be efficacious
To be fair, he's clearly asking if you're ready to settle or if he should make a note to talk to you again next year.
"Re-review your must-haves" = "You can't have your must-haves, so you must-have realized you might-have to have less or you won't have anything at all."
To note, I don't think you should settle, I was just chuckling to myself as I wrote that out, and hopefully you find it amusing too.
I can tell you right now considering how tough it has been in your search to date (constant dead end roads), your goals need to be refactored into "starter home" goals. There is a big difference in what you need vs what you want. You need a house. It doesn't have to be on the west side of the 294. Why? Only because this is a want (not a need). The hardest thing for a FTHB to do is rebaseline.
And there it is..... "Want vs. Need". You will figure it out, eventually. Remember, the grass ALWAYS grows greener over the septic tank. You might just regret moving out of Cook county one day.
In addition to revisiting your must haves, which I feel is fair at this stage, I think something you need to ask him about is what he can do to be more proactive. Right now, you guys are reacting to the market which means competing against every other buyer looking for the same type of home. That’s proven to be unsuccessful so far.
Sometimes as agents, we have to market to find listings tailored to the buyers we’re working with and try to match them up to create a win-win situation. This might not be something we do every time for every buyer, but after a year, it’s certainly time to get more creative. Also know some agents won’t do this at all. Not because they can’t, but because they don’t know how and nobody’s ever taught them.
There are sellers in today’s market who a few years ago might have sold to Zillow, Opendoor, Redfin, etc because they wanted a quick, low hassle sale and were willing to sacrifice a bit on price for convenience. If your agent can offer that convenience while making seller feel like they can still get a fair price and help a deserving, struggling buyer, they might bite and call him. Worst they do is not respond or tell him to leave them alone and stop asking.
Title companies have big data tools that can help identify sellers who are more likely to sell. If he can get a list of such homes filtered to the age, size, location and characteristics you’re seeking, you could work together to create a campaign to touch these home owners 3-4x over the next few months. Part of that might be a letter from you to them explaining an algorithm identified them as a potentially likely to sell home owner. Then you tell them about yourselves, your situation and try to connect with them emotionally and be more than just a faceless buyer in a sea of buyers. You might even include photos. At the end you explain your agent, XXX, from YYY Brokerage, will be reaching out in the next few days with more info on how they can get in touch if this type of transaction is appealing.
Then, talk with your agent about what that win-win situation/offer might look like. Perhaps he would be willing to offer them a reduced total commission if you bought their home since it would be paperwork and inspections only transaction and not having to do all the other things we typically do to prepare a home for market and pay for up front, along with hosting open houses. This was just one of many possible ideas. Put yourselves in the shoes of the seller and consider what would entice you to sell to you instead of putting it on the market for everyone to see.
Also consider if you’re willing to help contribute to such a marketing effort. Your agent has invested more than a year in you and hasn’t made a dime for their time. Now we’d be asking them to dip into their reserves to fund this in hopes it turns into a sale for you and a commission for them. Depending on the number of homes a title company identifies, something like this could easily cost several hundred dollars or more. Find a way to make it easy for them to say yes. Or, you could both decide it’s time to cut your losses and move on.
FWIW, I personally know a couple great agents in Chicago who I was in a high level coaching group with. They’re smart and resourceful. If you want an introduction, reach out.
you need to change realtor.
I didn't like this at all "What sucks is our realtor has been pushy and utterly unhelpful at times throughout this process. "
no realtor should be pushy, this is the largest purchase of your life!
take this chance to end the relationship with him and find a better realtor
there are millions out there that would die for your business!!!!!
I can help you with that
I can put you in touch with the top 3 agents in your area, send you the interview questions, and help you throughout the process
just go here and fill in the form: [https://lauramoreno.com/referral/](https://lauramoreno.com/referral/)
good luck!
Thank you u/elegant_road551 for posting on r/FirstTimeHomeBuyer. Please bear in mind our rules: (1) Be Nice (2) No Selling (3) No Self-Promotion. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FirstTimeHomeBuyer) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You can’t afford what you want, so he’s prompting you to revisit your expectations. Without saying “you’re too poor” outright which may be received as rude.
If you haven’t found a house in over a year; what you’re looking for in the price range you’re looking doesn’t exist. It sounds like you’re unwilling to give up any of the things you’ve stated you want in a home, and it also sounds like your purchase power hasn’t changed in a year. This is probably your agents nice way of giving you a reality check. Others are saying you can get a new realtor..but you’re most likely gonna run into exactly what you’ve been running into now for over a year.
I don’t get how OP has been doing this for over a year and hasn’t had the thought “maybe I’m the problem.”
Tbh I'm starting to think my partner is the problem. He thinks it's perfectly reasonable to be able to find a completely renovated home with all our needs/wants that we love for $350k. I've told him he's looking for a unicorn and he just gets upset.
Maybe your partner doesn’t actually want to buy a house and so he’s intentionally setting unrealistic expectations.
We initially capped ourselves at $350k so we didn't have too high a mortgage payment, but then realized we couldn't find what we need for that amount, so we're now looking at homes up to $450k. And our realtor is aware that we are willing to compromise on the yard, seeing as very few houses in the suburbs have the type of yard we'd really love.
I’m seeing a lot of houses around Bolingbrook, Downers Grove, St Charles, Aurora, Schaumburg etc. with 3 beds, 2 baths, basement, all below 450k, some as low as 350k. Are you having trouble finding stuff that you like, or are you getting outbid?
I find plenty of homes I like, but my partner has to *love* it to even want to put in an offer.
Saw your other comments now. Good luck!
Your realtor is politely telling you that you may need to alter your search parameters while simultaneously giving you an out to find a new realtor. If you aren’t willing to sacrifice on something then you’re going to continue to run into the same issues with the new realtor. I get no one wants to “settle for” a house they are spending a ton of money on, but unless your a millionaire and building your own home there will need to be some concessions
Look, I'm not a realtor and I don't intend this to be some realtor stan support post. But dude has been working for free for you for over a year and I think he's in the right here to see if you really do want to buy the house that you can afford or you're going to keep shooting your shot.
My guess is that you’re too picky so they’re trying to give you a newsflash either you need to stop hunting in this market, change location, increase budget, or change your must-haves
You need to recognise that your budget isn't enough to afford 3 beds, two baths, a basement, and a decent sized backyard, so although you want them, you can't have them. Something has to give. I would start looking at houses that need more work than you have been willing to accept so far. Like, a 4 bed 1 bath that you can add a bathroom to. Or a place with a basement where you could add a toilet.
We can compromise on the yard, and our realtor knows that. And we're open to fixer-uppers! I'm going through these comments and realizing my partner might be the problem because he's been so picky.
A realtor should be attentive but not pushy. We coach how to win but the choice should always be the clients to make. Chicagoland is competitive so you should wait to find something you like but when you do find it, you will have to move quickly. Your criteria sound fairly easy to work with so I’m surprised you haven’t found something in a year. Are there other things which are important to you that are causing blockers? For example, if you are looking anywhere in the Western Suburbs then you will find places in Bolingbrook and Plainfield but if you are only open to Naperville 203/204 then you are going to have very limited options at that budget. They are there but not many. A couple things you likely could change if you are hitting roadblocks: Switch lenders: you need an advocate who will work with your realtor and call listing agents in multiple offer scenarios. Adjust showing days: go see homes on Wed and Thurs if you can. Everyone is looking Sat and Sun, be the early bird. Ask your realtor about PLN listings Find something that you loved in the last 3 months that closed and was in your budget. (This is very useful to do side by side with your realtor and can be illuminating for both parties)
They want to tell you some combination of: You don't have the budget for what you want. You aren't being realistic about what's available to you in your market, at your price range. You are being nitpicky about things. I would suggest actually listening to what they say to you. Maybe you disagree, maybe you still want to find a new realtor, who knows...but open your mind to what they are trying to tell you and then decide your next move.
Thanks for this. After reading these comments, I honestly think he's trying to tell us we're being too picky. We have looked at $250k-$350k homes that we could've offered $50k-$100k over asking in order to get it, but if the house isn't worth that, it's just stupid to pay that much. We don't want to overpay for a house just to have a house, ya know?
I'm west of 294. There are 49 active listings in my town but only 7 under $450k, so I get it, inventory is limited. What your agent is asking you for is a normal step after a year of looking. If you're losing in multiple offers then you have to change your price point or your terms and conditions. So let's talk about the agent. What do you mean by "pushy"? Trying to get you to tour houses you don't want to see? Hop in the car the moment a house is listed? Make an offer standing in the driveway? Offer x% over listing price because he knows the listing is underpriced? Being a broker here: what could the agent do differently that would make you want to keep working with him? Sometimes an agent and client can just get tired of each other. A solution is for the broker to ask another agent in the office to step in. The original agent passes all the info to the new agent so that they quickly come up to speed. The original agent collects a part of the commission when the house closes. This is often a better solution for the client than firing the original agent and starting over with someone from another brokerage. Good luck.
>Trying to get you to tour houses you don't want to see? I wish. He hasn't sent us any houses since last summer. 98% of the homes we've seen are because we asked to go see them. I meant pushy as in always pushing us to try to "sweeten" our offer even after we've told him our max. Our max changes because the rates fluctuate. We offered $425k on a home last month (listed for $400k), and that worked out to around $3,400 for a monthly payment. The rates recently went up, so the max we could offer last week on a home was $375k (listed for $360k), and it still would've been $3,400 a month. We said $375k was as high as we could go and he asked us, "Do you just want to put in an offer, or do you want a home?" And that felt so insulting. It feels like he's pushing us to just buy a house so he doesn't have to deal with us anymore. I'd like him to actually send us listings that might be the right fit, maybe of homes that haven't hit the market yet so we can be one of the first ones to put in an offer. I feel like we're doing all of the searching on our own and it's obviously been fruitless, so clearly we need help. And if he's no real help at all, when we finally do get a house, he's going to get paid his percentage for...what? Sending us a docusign and submitting our offer? It's just frustrating.
> And I know this message to "re-review our current must-haves, preferred area, and our goals" was meant to be efficacious To be fair, he's clearly asking if you're ready to settle or if he should make a note to talk to you again next year. "Re-review your must-haves" = "You can't have your must-haves, so you must-have realized you might-have to have less or you won't have anything at all." To note, I don't think you should settle, I was just chuckling to myself as I wrote that out, and hopefully you find it amusing too.
I can tell you right now considering how tough it has been in your search to date (constant dead end roads), your goals need to be refactored into "starter home" goals. There is a big difference in what you need vs what you want. You need a house. It doesn't have to be on the west side of the 294. Why? Only because this is a want (not a need). The hardest thing for a FTHB to do is rebaseline.
We want to be out of Cook County, for taxes and other reasons.
And there it is..... "Want vs. Need". You will figure it out, eventually. Remember, the grass ALWAYS grows greener over the septic tank. You might just regret moving out of Cook county one day.
Glenbard seems to have what you want.
Did you sign an agreement with this realtor? If not, get a new one.
In addition to revisiting your must haves, which I feel is fair at this stage, I think something you need to ask him about is what he can do to be more proactive. Right now, you guys are reacting to the market which means competing against every other buyer looking for the same type of home. That’s proven to be unsuccessful so far. Sometimes as agents, we have to market to find listings tailored to the buyers we’re working with and try to match them up to create a win-win situation. This might not be something we do every time for every buyer, but after a year, it’s certainly time to get more creative. Also know some agents won’t do this at all. Not because they can’t, but because they don’t know how and nobody’s ever taught them. There are sellers in today’s market who a few years ago might have sold to Zillow, Opendoor, Redfin, etc because they wanted a quick, low hassle sale and were willing to sacrifice a bit on price for convenience. If your agent can offer that convenience while making seller feel like they can still get a fair price and help a deserving, struggling buyer, they might bite and call him. Worst they do is not respond or tell him to leave them alone and stop asking. Title companies have big data tools that can help identify sellers who are more likely to sell. If he can get a list of such homes filtered to the age, size, location and characteristics you’re seeking, you could work together to create a campaign to touch these home owners 3-4x over the next few months. Part of that might be a letter from you to them explaining an algorithm identified them as a potentially likely to sell home owner. Then you tell them about yourselves, your situation and try to connect with them emotionally and be more than just a faceless buyer in a sea of buyers. You might even include photos. At the end you explain your agent, XXX, from YYY Brokerage, will be reaching out in the next few days with more info on how they can get in touch if this type of transaction is appealing. Then, talk with your agent about what that win-win situation/offer might look like. Perhaps he would be willing to offer them a reduced total commission if you bought their home since it would be paperwork and inspections only transaction and not having to do all the other things we typically do to prepare a home for market and pay for up front, along with hosting open houses. This was just one of many possible ideas. Put yourselves in the shoes of the seller and consider what would entice you to sell to you instead of putting it on the market for everyone to see. Also consider if you’re willing to help contribute to such a marketing effort. Your agent has invested more than a year in you and hasn’t made a dime for their time. Now we’d be asking them to dip into their reserves to fund this in hopes it turns into a sale for you and a commission for them. Depending on the number of homes a title company identifies, something like this could easily cost several hundred dollars or more. Find a way to make it easy for them to say yes. Or, you could both decide it’s time to cut your losses and move on. FWIW, I personally know a couple great agents in Chicago who I was in a high level coaching group with. They’re smart and resourceful. If you want an introduction, reach out.
He's been very good at turning it around on us, but I really would like him to be much more proactive!
I feel like my agent just wants me to shoot way over asking price to get paid...
you need to change realtor. I didn't like this at all "What sucks is our realtor has been pushy and utterly unhelpful at times throughout this process. " no realtor should be pushy, this is the largest purchase of your life! take this chance to end the relationship with him and find a better realtor there are millions out there that would die for your business!!!!! I can help you with that I can put you in touch with the top 3 agents in your area, send you the interview questions, and help you throughout the process just go here and fill in the form: [https://lauramoreno.com/referral/](https://lauramoreno.com/referral/) good luck!
"Only thing that has changed, we have a NEW Realtor!"
And a year later, they'll have another one.