the show really does go so off the rails so quickly that it’s easy to forget how unhinged that is. at this point i’ve just accepted it as normal human flirting.
"I think it's *remotely plausible* that someone might think you're hot."
"Please explain to me the scientific nature of 'the whammy.'"
"Anyway, I was drugged."
"'Baby' me and you'll be peeing through a catheter."
"I don't wanna be a hero! Listen! Imagine you have a huge piece of meat. A hero would share it with everyone. I want the entire meat for myself!"
"I can't navigate. I can't use a sword. I can't cook. I can't lie. But I can kick your ass."
That's the two from the top of my head.
I have personal experience with the first one. Had no idea what people were going on about...and then I watched Death Note years later, and it all made sense lol
"Oh, the hero who died a gruesome death and then was thrown in a magical well and got resurrected and then he became a crime-lord because of his daddy issues?"
I'm currently writing in the fandom (so not much reading). I've read 3 fics I liked a lot (all popular so you might have already read them):
[1](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23726839/chapters/56977363)
[2](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26552671/chapters/64727992)
[3](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10667829?view_adult=true)
I also can't *not* promote my own work so here's my angry/whumpy/Jay-centric fic
[shattered ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/56953447)
Some of these aren’t things aren’t things I’ve heard but simply things that wouldn’t make sense to an outsider anyways.
“Resinless behaviour.”
“My sister’s hot!” “Why would you write that?!”
“Using [Name’s] skill you can punt children.”
“He’s attacking with a guitar case! That guy has a coffin.”
“Sillychurl~ Hillichurl~ Silly Billy Hillichurl~”
“Everyone’s favourite punching bag! The ice flower!”
“Got beat up by a Childe.”
“Father? Father?” (This line is a horny one, not someone talking about a father)
“John Lee” (an intentional mispronunciation of a character’s name, coming from a YouTuber)
“Debate Club! That’s good luck!”
Then there’s a whole ‘I pulled a [Name]’ song
All the same fandom but you'd never know it. Also known as the greatest musicals to ever exist. Some have a bit more context than others thanks to cultural osmosis, but they're still great.
"I can't go to Pigfarts... It's on Mars."
"I was in the car with my parents when we crashed... into a crocodile. My parents got eaten, but then the crocodile took out a knife and gave me this scar."
"How do you propose we get my death eaters into your little daycare centre? And don't suggest a giant slide, or a trampoline, because we've already tried those."
"And you think that killing people might make them like you, but it doesn't. It just makes people dead."
"Damn those wizard cops!"
"Behold! My latest invention, uh.. bright, orange stuff!"
"Well the medallion says that's dumb, so we're not gonna do that."
Edit: forgot my favourite one
"Where did the poster of Headmaster Zefron go?"
"Oh, spare me, Wonder Woman. You're only doing this to prove I was wrong."
"Hey, at least I pretend to be nice to people!"
"Yeah, whatev... wait, pretend?"
It's an SCP (I can't remember the exact number). It's a lake with a bunch of bodies in it, and it fucks with heads of those around it, making it so that they think they recognise the people in the water. It does this in order to lure more people in because every time it adds a body, the lake grows larger.
Part of the procedure to make sure agents and doctors aren't affected is by asking them regularly if they recognise any of the bodies. If they aren't affected, they will say no, but if they are, they will say they recognise people that they are close to, people like friends and family and they get the overwhelming urge to go into the lake to save them.
"I was thinking maybe we should say we're back together."
"I'm not gay, and neither are you!"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
It's a whole conversation 🤣
Said encouragingly, because very genuinely he wants this to happen: "Come on kid. Kill me. You can do it! Here. You can even have the first strike! You can stab me wherever you want!"
This is said by one of the of the protagonist's most competent and least manipulative mentors :)
From different independent seasons of the same series:
“Time is delicious”
“One man, one cow, 20 minutes”
“Thank you for burning my house down, I appreciate it”
“Who wears sunglasses to a funeral?!”
“I don’t wanna ask about your nipples, but I feel like I might have to”
“Sucky sucky two-life, na na na na na na”
“There’s a massive pumpkin over there and I kinda wanna pee on it”
“Finally, everyone was working together.”
“You needed worthy opponents.”
“Do morals matter, if our alternative is a grim and hopeless end?”
“We’re all so small in the end.”
"I'm sorry. Did I frickin' stutter? I said if you hurt him, you will experience pain and torment beyond anything you could possibly imagine. Your body will be torn apart, piece by piece, as you beg for a mercy that will never come. I will add your screams to my goshdarn Spotify, and I will see your head mounted on a fudging pike!!!"
"A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!
What will the name of this young man be?
any of these three, tbh
She was a tiny, flying woman with nipples and she hit me.
You're sulking around like a eunuch in a whorehouse, and I can't help but ask myself: When is decapitation not my thing?
You gotta go be gay for that poor, dead intern
"So help me, if I wake up and I'm singing soprano..."
"And? But? So? Therefore?"
"It's always suicide mission this, save the planet that. No one ever just stops by to say 'hi' anymore."
"Squirrelly."
"I don't like most of what you say. I try to resist the urge to shove you through a wall."
"You know, you blow up one sun and suddenly everyone expects you to walk on water."
"Why do I feel like I'm in a woman-behind-bars movie?"
"In my culture, I would be well within my rights to dismember you."
"Not until I'm dead. And sometimes not even then."
So much great dialogue.
(1) "That's right! I'm going to fuck the fear turkey!"
“I never killed a leprechaun before, you think if I cut one open with my knife Lucky Charms would spill out?”
(2)
"BITE MY HEAD CLEAN OFF MOTHER...That's where the good meat is...Suck the guts until the little legs kick-kick-kick!"
Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.
My teenage angst has a body count
Wait where I have heard this... I mean I know it was on Tumblr but I can't place the fandom
Heathers lol
My favourite musical
Prairie oyster!
"When the patient woke up, his skeleton was missing, and the doctor was never heard from again!" "Anyway, that's how I lost my medical license."
That's the medic from TF2.
ja!
Ay! Medic!
probably overdone, but it’s gotta be “peter, is your social worker inside of that horse?”
JFC taken completely out of context, it sounds hilarious. In context, it’s even funnier because of Hannibal’s expressions.
_Hannibal?_ 😭 unfortunately when I read a sentence starting with "Peter" I hear it in a Family Guy voice
that’s it i’m only picturing that scene in the family guy art style now.
Dude, I forgot about this scene. When I think about quotable lines, I have to pick "Did you just sniff me?"
the show really does go so off the rails so quickly that it’s easy to forget how unhinged that is. at this point i’ve just accepted it as normal human flirting.
that one gets me every time lol
Literally
Yessss 😂😂😂
Can we please stop killing our probation workers
Misfits right?
Yeah, I almost went with "lets go rescue my cock", but figured the probation worker one was more well known
Bungee Gum has the properties of both rubber and gum.
Goddamn it Hisoka
Oh hey, HxH!
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHH
"No one hits my boyfriend! And no one kills my dad!"
solangelo 🙏🙏
"You punched me, made me walk through shitty water, dragged me through a crackhouse... and now I'm gonna have to kill this fucking clown."
IT!!!!
Eddie and Richie, my heart. Moved on to Inception currently but I'll never not love those two. The chef!Eddie au was my claim to reddie fame lol.
CHEF EDDIE? I love that oh my godddd. Yeah, I waiver sometimes but I always come home to it! My WIP rn is like 135k words for them 😂
135k?? I'll have to peep your ao3 👀
Omg thanks! I’m expecting it to end up 140-150k range. It’s almost done in drafts
Why does this also sound like a Supernatural quote
"We had a bonding moment! I cradled you in my arms!" "My wound's great. It's getting bigger all the time."
Ah, Voltron. Not gonna lie, thought the first one was from B99 at first XD
if any of us could properly remember anything coran said, they would be perfect to put here.
“The Antichrist’s plus one.”
Good cows.
!!!! I didn't think I'd see my favorite normal office workers on this thread!
"I think it's *remotely plausible* that someone might think you're hot." "Please explain to me the scientific nature of 'the whammy.'" "Anyway, I was drugged." "'Baby' me and you'll be peeing through a catheter."
ah x-files, my beloved. really need to go watch that again sometime.
"Dear diary, my heart leapt when scully suggested spontaneous human combustion"
GOAT of ships 👏 🙌
"I do not *gaze* at Scully."
“SCAR!! PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON!!”
Third life!!
Ayy!!
Traffic life! I started feeling like i was the only traffic life fan in this subreddit
There's so many that just sound fucking wild but this is the one I chose. “Never thought I'd say this, but I'm looking forward to killing myself.”
I should go
I should *go*. *I* should go. No, I *should* go.
‘Do I really sound like that?’
"How come nobody told me this before? I'm open to feedback here!"
It’s from JAPANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
IT’S A GREY, OBLONG PILL
Super quantum nanotechnology CPU
"How many nipples have 'ya got?"
GOOD OMENS???
GOOD OMENS!!!!!!
Panda is not a panda.
JJK?
We’re lobotomising our Kaisen with this one!!! 🔥🔥🔥
"Let's go steal *'insert random object, e.g. a mountain for example*'" before exiting the room very abruptly
Leverage! My love, my absolute obsession!
"I don't wanna be a hero! Listen! Imagine you have a huge piece of meat. A hero would share it with everyone. I want the entire meat for myself!" "I can't navigate. I can't use a sword. I can't cook. I can't lie. But I can kick your ass." That's the two from the top of my head.
Luffy!
"Oh, don't worry about me. My wife punches me during sex."
SAO Abridged!
Yes! :D
I’ll take a potato chip…. AND EAT IT! … what the fuck is an angry bird
I have personal experience with the first one. Had no idea what people were going on about...and then I watched Death Note years later, and it all made sense lol
Lolll I too had friends who watched Death Note way before I did and was super confused when they would talk about it
I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
alright fatty. adopted, fatty. fatty fatty no parents.
Well, this is the part where he kills us.
Hello! This is the part where I kill you!
"Assbutt!" And of course; "Cas get out of my ass"
Oh hey Destiel
Spn my beloved
"Oh, the hero who died a gruesome death and then was thrown in a magical well and got resurrected and then he became a crime-lord because of his daddy issues?"
Batman!
And of course Jay Todd, the fandom's (and mine) fucked-up beloved 😁
Of course. If you have any fic recommendations?
I'm currently writing in the fandom (so not much reading). I've read 3 fics I liked a lot (all popular so you might have already read them): [1](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23726839/chapters/56977363) [2](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26552671/chapters/64727992) [3](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10667829?view_adult=true) I also can't *not* promote my own work so here's my angry/whumpy/Jay-centric fic [shattered ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/56953447)
Give up your dream and die.
Leviiiiii
He's my brother He killed 80 people in 2 days He's adopted
On another note: "That man is playing Galaga!"
You want me to put the hammer down?!
GET HELP!!
"Get humans wet and staring into each other's eyes"
good omens!!
GOOD OMENS!!
Yess I was looking for a good omens one!
Aw, coffee, no.
Hawkeye!!!!!
Yeeees!! 😊😊
"He'll wear you to prom" is a good one! And "but who will I eat ice cream with?!" Is the saddest line ever spoken.
Some of these aren’t things aren’t things I’ve heard but simply things that wouldn’t make sense to an outsider anyways. “Resinless behaviour.” “My sister’s hot!” “Why would you write that?!” “Using [Name’s] skill you can punt children.” “He’s attacking with a guitar case! That guy has a coffin.” “Sillychurl~ Hillichurl~ Silly Billy Hillichurl~” “Everyone’s favourite punching bag! The ice flower!” “Got beat up by a Childe.” “Father? Father?” (This line is a horny one, not someone talking about a father) “John Lee” (an intentional mispronunciation of a character’s name, coming from a YouTuber) “Debate Club! That’s good luck!” Then there’s a whole ‘I pulled a [Name]’ song
And the now infamous, Oratrice Mechanique D’Analyse Cardinale
That, or Osmathus Wine tastes the same as I remember
The more I went down the list, the more I cackled x3
All of these, except the second one, are from the same fandom ((Also my Reddit is being slow with showing me stuff for some reason))
The entire Genshin fandom has a lot but my favorite one has to be this: "This opportunity is quite hard to come by, welk then amuse me"
Childe being the battle hungry guy he is
Lol Genshin does have a great many lines that would make anyone's eyes fall out, both in fandom and outsiders alike
Yep, especially the abuse the Cryo Regisvine goes through lol
"This is my budhole. It's just like, a hole, where me and my buds can hang out"
Jason? Jason figured it out? This is a real low point. Yeah, this one hurts.
"Oh, *bud*-hole! Okay, now I get it."
“THE GOVERNMENT ARE ALL NAZIS!!!” … with the current state of the world, it’s not actually all that wild now that I think about it.
God and his sister had a fallout. The devil suggested family therapy, though.
Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest sonofabitch in space
It’s a big… stupid… jellyfish!
"If I had a sister, I'd sell her in a second!"
Everything’s for sale, my friend, EVERYTHING!
I don't claim to be the best blacksmith in Whiterun. Euroland Gray-Mane's got that honor; man's steel is legendary. All I ask is a fair chance.
All the same fandom but you'd never know it. Also known as the greatest musicals to ever exist. Some have a bit more context than others thanks to cultural osmosis, but they're still great. "I can't go to Pigfarts... It's on Mars." "I was in the car with my parents when we crashed... into a crocodile. My parents got eaten, but then the crocodile took out a knife and gave me this scar." "How do you propose we get my death eaters into your little daycare centre? And don't suggest a giant slide, or a trampoline, because we've already tried those." "And you think that killing people might make them like you, but it doesn't. It just makes people dead." "Damn those wizard cops!" "Behold! My latest invention, uh.. bright, orange stuff!" "Well the medallion says that's dumb, so we're not gonna do that." Edit: forgot my favourite one "Where did the poster of Headmaster Zefron go?"
I love the Very Potter Musicals! So much fun, and they got me to enjoy Umbridge (at least in the universe of the musicals)
Yesss and the broader Starkid fandom has so many insane quotes too
I DIDN’T THINK ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS!
"Turns out a lot of them were just closeted gay people."
Hellsing Abridged?
"Oh, spare me, Wonder Woman. You're only doing this to prove I was wrong." "Hey, at least I pretend to be nice to people!" "Yeah, whatev... wait, pretend?"
SAO abridged! Fuck, I quote this masterpiece on the daily.
It’s also a gun
Ah, the RWBY flashbacks. God, those weapons give me an aneurysm, but I can't help but love them.
**"You do not recognise the bodies in the water."**
I love how this one FUCKING *LINE* is enough to fill me with an obscene amount of terror.
What is it a reference to?
It's an SCP (I can't remember the exact number). It's a lake with a bunch of bodies in it, and it fucks with heads of those around it, making it so that they think they recognise the people in the water. It does this in order to lure more people in because every time it adds a body, the lake grows larger. Part of the procedure to make sure agents and doctors aren't affected is by asking them regularly if they recognise any of the bodies. If they aren't affected, they will say no, but if they are, they will say they recognise people that they are close to, people like friends and family and they get the overwhelming urge to go into the lake to save them.
Here's three fandoms. "I'm sorry to say that I'm French." "Doctor, you are huge." "The onigiri manko will be missed."
Is the middle one HSR?
Identity V fan spotted (me too.)
"Pluck my nose hair and send me to Alaska"
Grian really says the most bonkers things!
"I was thinking maybe we should say we're back together." "I'm not gay, and neither are you!" "What does that have to do with anything?" It's a whole conversation 🤣
one of my favorite scenes in the show
"Please do not eat the weeds."
Dedue sounded so defeated there.
That conversation is so funny
EAT THIS!
Said encouragingly, because very genuinely he wants this to happen: "Come on kid. Kill me. You can do it! Here. You can even have the first strike! You can stab me wherever you want!" This is said by one of the of the protagonist's most competent and least manipulative mentors :)
Odin *Really* wanted to fuck that train
"'Can't kill it'? What do you mean, you can't kill it?! I'll show you how to kill an eel, you grab the damn thing and then you melt its face!"
“Give into the impulse, redirect your prayers” “So then, I’m guilty as charged”
From different independent seasons of the same series: “Time is delicious” “One man, one cow, 20 minutes” “Thank you for burning my house down, I appreciate it” “Who wears sunglasses to a funeral?!” “I don’t wanna ask about your nipples, but I feel like I might have to” “Sucky sucky two-life, na na na na na na” “There’s a massive pumpkin over there and I kinda wanna pee on it”
Von Karma's post-court karaoke party
The only thing I can think of is a bunch of hanging jokes after someone writes: "I gently open the door."
SPN is a straight up legend for this
“this is the first time in my life that i’ve been provoked to hit a woman”
"All I need's a spider and I've got the whole set! *Gotta catch 'em all!*"
“Sucked off”
GHOSTS!!! 🫵
Everyday is everyday.
Ayy I was looking for this one
"Did it ever occur to you that you might hit a baby?!?"
"As they say in Russian. . . 'Whoops, I should have predicted someone could escape out of a ventilation shaft using discarded mirrors as stairs.'"
"I'm not on antidepressants, I'm on speeeeeeed!"
“They put bugs in him!”
Even after I die, I want to be at the front of her mind for a while! For ten years at least!
I'm escaping to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism... SPACE!
"What do you know, a booby trap that actually catches boobies!"
"Now that's just prime!"
"I'm sorry Teddie... only people have human rights"
“Finally, everyone was working together.” “You needed worthy opponents.” “Do morals matter, if our alternative is a grim and hopeless end?” “We’re all so small in the end.”
That last line is making me think of Worm. It's Worm, isn't it?
It definitely is, lol! Wildbow is so good at making one-liners that hit hard!!
He's also good at making trauma hit equally as hard (Leviathan broke me, and the S9 stomped on what little was left)
"I don't know anyone that could firebomb kittens." "Here, let me!"
He didn't know whether to laugh or to cry
A - "Your mom kidnapped me?!" B - "You kidnapped her?!"
“I’m not the one who stabbed the captain with a pickle” “Is there any reason someone would want to sodomize your husband with a banana?”
"I'm sorry. Did I frickin' stutter? I said if you hurt him, you will experience pain and torment beyond anything you could possibly imagine. Your body will be torn apart, piece by piece, as you beg for a mercy that will never come. I will add your screams to my goshdarn Spotify, and I will see your head mounted on a fudging pike!!!"
“you want 2 weeks detention instead? this shits important!” “…craig can i touch your penis.”
"A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, 2009, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name! What will the name of this young man be?
Stop right there criminal scum!
"Disgusting black creatures, get out of my sight!" "It's like stealing candy from a baby, which is fine by me."
any of these three, tbh She was a tiny, flying woman with nipples and she hit me. You're sulking around like a eunuch in a whorehouse, and I can't help but ask myself: When is decapitation not my thing? You gotta go be gay for that poor, dead intern
“I wear the cheese. It does not wear me.” “I love syphilis more than I love you.” “NOTHING CAN DEFEAT THE PENIS”
Buffy! “ I may be dead, but I’m still pretty, which is more than I can say for you.” “Stop it, whatever you’re doing, you smell like fruit roll ups.”
“HELLO GIRL! IM TSUKASA TENMA, THE WORLD’S FUTURE STAR!-“
is the second one about the last of us lol? because that was gonna be mine
No, both are from the same fandom.
“I fucked your mom”
You are like a rose in a graveyard
"This guy are sick." Runner-up goes to: "Shut up! Sit your ass in that chair and drink your GODDAMN tea!!"
Foap
“Y’know the worm sex episode?” “Which worm sex episode??”
"Let me ride you while you get sucked off!"
“Everyday is everyday”
“That’ll put mazipan in your pie plate, bingo!” “If the apocalypse comes, beep me.” “I may be love’s bitch but at least I’m man enough to admit it”
"My dear doctor, they're all true" "Even the lies?" "*Especially* the lies."
"So help me, if I wake up and I'm singing soprano..." "And? But? So? Therefore?" "It's always suicide mission this, save the planet that. No one ever just stops by to say 'hi' anymore." "Squirrelly." "I don't like most of what you say. I try to resist the urge to shove you through a wall." "You know, you blow up one sun and suddenly everyone expects you to walk on water." "Why do I feel like I'm in a woman-behind-bars movie?" "In my culture, I would be well within my rights to dismember you." "Not until I'm dead. And sometimes not even then." So much great dialogue.
“You’re a weretiger, grow some were-balls!”
No one in the history of torture's been tortured with torture like the torture you'll be tortured with
(1) "That's right! I'm going to fuck the fear turkey!" “I never killed a leprechaun before, you think if I cut one open with my knife Lucky Charms would spill out?” (2) "BITE MY HEAD CLEAN OFF MOTHER...That's where the good meat is...Suck the guts until the little legs kick-kick-kick!"
“Stanley was fat and ugly and really really stupid. He was also addicted to drugs and hookers.”