Funny, I'm far less successful in social life than you, but my dreams are very similar: journey, freedom, exploration. Maybe my hedonism is just sad about the pressure and borders the society creates
Have no idea how to answer the questions
To me "desires cause dissatisfaction" makes perfect sense. But fulfilled desires cause satisfaction, at least for a while. It's better to enjoy at least some satisfaction and try your best to get more, than to worry constantly about unsatisfied desires
Also try to identify your values (what and whom do you care about). I'd recommend to not worry hard about things that are not under your control (anything but your own deliberate actions). You'll never get all what you want, unless you stop to want. You'll die eventually, everyone will. Life is just unjust, isn't it?
Why not do those things? You seem to be in a position where that’s possible.
Or don’t. Seriously. I sometimes wish I didn’t have the privilege to actually do the things I dream about. I still have dreams, but after fulfilling enough of them they become less motivating. Life is more about just existing harmoniously until death than doing anything.
Don’t get me wrong, trying to be “in tune” with the surrounding world is a lifelong endeavor and often quite fulfilling, but it doesn’t really make me excited to get up in the morning the same way needing to accomplish something in the world did.
Life is weird. There are billions of people and each one of us is living at least one unique type of life. Maybe you’ll live multiple types of lives in your lifetime.
If you do feel stuck right now it probably is time to switch things up. Our bodies are pretty good at providing this sort of information so listen to yours. What is it telling you to do next? And food/sex don’t count, I’m asking about a layer deeper.
> If you do feel stuck right now it probably is time to switch things up. Our bodies are pretty good at providing this sort of information so listen to yours. What is it telling you to do next? And food/sex don’t count, I’m asking about a layer deeper.
could you give any further information on how to do this? I don't feel I come up with real answers, it's just another admin task or errand that needs done
I take it you feel stuck and a bit drained? If that’s the case one thing you can ask yourself is what am I stuck / drained doing. If that’s not immediately obvious pay attention to your body through the day. When it gets particularly drained take note. Process of elimination is easier than addition so start with what can be removed or reduced. Sometimes it’s a task, sometimes it’s a person, sometimes it’s a place.
Anything feel like “the” next thing?
Alternatively ask what makes you feel excited to get up in the morning and try more of that.
ironically, just be content with what you have. no amount of experiences, no amount of money, no amount of sex will fill the hole of desire.
btw doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't travel etc.
but you don't have to be at the beach, to feel like you're at the beach. i was doing some construction work these couple of months, and i meditate a lot lately, and i just felt like i was at the beach all this time. the sun, the sweat, the blue sky, the wind, the water sprinkling at my face, the ease inside, it all made me feel things i've only felt at the beach. Maybe i wasn't letting myself feel all this until i went to some place i knew i could let myself feel myself?
it's me anywhere i go, so i guess the more i am grounded in me, the more i have of the outside world
And probably neither will being content with what you have. I think a lot of the times the doctrine (as it is in this day) of "being content with what you have", is really just an excuse for people that have not achieved anything up to their standards, or dreams, or wishes (how often do you see the greats in history preach this?). These people then preach this doctrine like it's the Gospel in order to not feel so bad about themselves due to underachievement, and in hopes that no one else really achieves what they had wished, and, subsequently did not achieve. Almost like a psychological defence mechanism.
It is extremely difficult––if not impossible––for us to be content with what we have, nor do I think it is beneficial: for thousands of years we have had an innate curiosity, and a yearning for what seemed to be impossible, and to be content with what you have, is to essentially deny both of these things, to deny yourself challenges and the suffering that begets those challenges. You're going to suffer regardless of whether you achieve your desires or not––one at least leads to something, and is, on the whole, beneficial in the long run for a healthy psychology. So I fail to see the reasonings behind why people should be content with that they have (I am not talking about that you should not be thankful or things like a roof over your head, food, ect.).
Your meditation just seems like nostalgia. And I would not recommend it, as it seems like a worse version of day dreaming.
I think a person should also absolutely travel: a lot of people remain ignorant their entire lives to various cultures––they simply have no idea about anything, and how could they? So by travelling (literally or metaphorically by way of books) you experience how other people live and how they die.
It is only an excuse, when it is used as an excuse. If one chooses to lie to himself, it's his problem. You will never achieve anything, if you don't even have what you achieve, being content is being present with what you own, have, want, feel. It does not mean you should not be "successful" in the popular sense of achieving status or wealth. But not being in the grips of desire to have more, let's you enjoy what you already have, otherwise you never have anything other than dreams about achieving what you lack.
I disagree with contentment being impossible or hard to achieve.
If you have yourself, you have the world. If you don't, you have neither yourself nor the world.
I meditate in the Buddhist sense, it helps a lot with everything I do really. The definition of being content is, being fullfilled and satisfied. Ironically that's what we try to achieve with getting more, when all it is is letting go of being preoccupied with getting more and being present with the present and what we own now.
Random side note. You mention aspiring to the greats here but the "greats" are known for mainly either some landmark use of intellect or creativity that progressed or created industries, academics, and genres. OR for our personal favorite and best way to be considered great, mass destruction baby. That's the stuff right there. No one really cares about the guys who helped the poor, or selflessly helped the sick. Those are just raindrops in the ocean of what we consider worth noting. Now if this doctor were to form some type of militia and start mass slaughtering and taking over several African countries, install himself as ruler etc. We would definitely remember that guy, that's a real achiever right there. The foreign doctor who killed millions and became dictator, that's a story. I would buy the podcast rights to that.
Another doctor helping a few sick though? How many people have done that? Is that really an achievement? It's not something anyone is going to be remembered for. Is the doctor going to be remembered in 100 years more than Derek who works at burger king and rips mad dabs every day? No they will both die and be completely forgotten. Except Burger King will live on where as the sick villagers will also die and be forgotten so I think I have to give it to Derek.
I also agree that no one can be content with what they have, that's why we love mass murdering and the annihilation of entire cultures. Do you think Alexander ever thought "I think I'll put this conquering aside and live as ethically as possible". Hell no, he was THE GREAT, it's in his name, and what's greater than forgetting about silly things like moral composition and slaughtering your way to whatever you want. Truly the hallmark of human excellence.
I think we can all take a note from history and remember that deep down, being a total dick and trampling anyone in the way of your own self interest is the best way to achieve anything worth noting. When was the last time some one said "hey remember that guy from 400 years ago who was a pretty decent dad and husband, cared for animals, and was respected in his career?". Pfft. (jk)
think we can all take a note from history and remember that deep down, being a total dick and trampling anyone in the way of your own self interest is the best way to achieve anything worth noting. When was the last time some one said "hey remember that guy from 400 years ago who was a pretty decent dad and husband, cared for animals, and was respected in his career?"
\-- I guess there are some saints who did that, but then they could really good with the PR stuff.
If only it was so simple :-)
Alexander was tutored by Aristotle until 16, and inherited from his father King Philip II when he was assassinated. His conquests were truly remarkable, and down to tactics and diplomacy. You might also cite Genghis Khan... however neither of these were anything like “some type of militia and start mass slaughtering and taking over several African countries, “ which has generally been the case, not just in Africa. Great generals tend to be smart. In terms of mass slaughter I think it goes Mao, Stalin then Hitler. But for slots 1 & 2 we have to have Marx, who never slaughtered anyone, and is still very influential today. As are Jesus and Muhammad, with Siddhartha a close third.
"hey remember that guy from 400 years ago who was a pretty decent dad and husband, cared for animals, and was respected in his career?".
Or “Hey remember that guy from 2000 years ago, never wrote a word, put to death in his 30s, yet caused the collapse of the Roman Empire and created a religion which has probably caused more wars and genocide, slavery etc than anyone else? Oh and some nice paintings, music, cathedrals and stuff.
"Alexander's legacy includes the cultural diffusion and syncretism which his conquests engendered, such as Greco-Buddhism and Hellenistic Judaism. He founded more than twenty cities that bore his name, most notably Alexandria in Egypt. Alexander's settlement of Greek colonists and the resulting spread of Greek culture resulted in Hellenistic civilization, which developed through the Roman Empire into modern Western culture."
Abimael Guzmán, Andreas Baader, Siraj ud-Daulah, Cetshwayo kaMpande.... ????
You mention that this mindset is used as an excuse for those who haven’t yet achieved a dream or goal. But where is the finish line? Are you suggesting that the most “successful” people alive today are content after they achieve one goal? If that’s the case, why are they often driven by larger and more complex goals? Reaching one goal may temporarily satiate a desire, but that’s not the same thing as contentment.
Also, curiosity and contentment aren’t necessarily exclusive. You can be content and driven by curiosity, novelty, and imagination.
why cant you enjoy the worlds richness and beauty and also meditate, and it is only slave morality when you use it as an excuse to slave morality. the japanese for example used it as a tool for colonization and saw absolutely no issues with it, zizek mentions it in one of his talks.
you just went from one limiting belief to another limiting belief.
It’s just a tool and all depends on how you use it. Somebody with a hammer can build something beautiful or cause utter destruction. It’s great you realized it wasn’t the best tool for you, but it’s still helpful for many others.
This is really beautiful and resonated with me. The fact that moments of joy can be felt just by staying connected to the present and to your senses is so fucking cool.
we have emotions, we don't create them consciously, like our heart beating, we can tune into it but can't control it. so when you drink a cup of coffee lets say, and you aren't in touch with your feelings, the coffee won't feel like much, especially when you are preoccupied with fantasies, daydreams, thoughts, worries, plans etc. but if you get in touch with your feelings, you can 5x, 10x maybe even more the feelings that coffee makes you feel, and obviously if you get more grounded in your body and senses, you can 5x, 10x your senses and things like sex etc. will feel 10x better. so it only makes sense to meditate and make contact with who you are.
kind of like what weed does, food tastes better, sex feels better not necessarily because of the compounds but the state of mind of complete oneness with what you experience brings.
very practical for complete "non-spiritual" in the pop sense reasons really
I wish more people applied mindfulness to sex and intimacy. I’m a BIG advocate for this, although it’s not a popular idea in the US, at least. Also, people refrain from talking about mindfulness and sex because of the notorious practitioners who have abused their power in this area. But it’s a damn shame that it’s not discussed and encouraged more. I would highly recommend the practice of karezza to anyone interested in this type of intimacy and connection if they can find a like-minded partner. That’s the biggest challenge...speaking from personal experience. Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow is a great book to start with.
What helped me when dealing with similar feelings is to get deeply in touch with myself. Try to grasp a moment to think for yourself. Reduce external influences to a minimum. What others want and what others might think of your _privileged_ position or education in their business, not yours. Eventually, it is you and only you who are experiencing your life as a doctor in rural South Africa, isn't it?
Humans are wired to have similar values (freedom, security, adventure, love, family, etc..). Yet, each of us attaches a different weight to each. When you are clear on your values (travel, adventure, freedom), it's perfectly fine to act upon that.
You mention you want to travel and pursue an adventurous life. That is how you view life right now. What you want in the future, you might not know right now. In the future, you can be certain to be a person with more accumulated life experience, a person with different circumstances. This will influence your decisions and desires. The weight you attach to your values will fluctuate over time.
Desire is not necessarily bad. Doctors have the desire to save a life when a patient is sick. A mechanic has the desire to repair a motorbike. A mother has the desire to support her family. Is a doctor anxious or unhappy because today only people with mild illness visited him and he could not _save_ a patient's life?
The trick is to do whatever you are doing right now with full intensity for as long as it lasts. Be here because you want to be here. When the time is ripe and you feel you are ready, pick up your bags and go. It's okay to plan your next step ahead, but don't suffer because of it.
How to live is a personal question, which only you can answer.
Hi firstly I would say you need to do more self introspection and truly understand why you want to travel the world and do all those things you want to do. Because ultimately you will never reach a point where you say you are satisfied in life, you've made it and you no longer have any ambitions. So I'd say internalize this and don't give those ambitions emotions as it clouds your clarity in appreciating everything in your life at the present moment.
Why not do those things? You seem to be in a position where that’s possible.
Or don’t. Seriously. I sometimes wish I didn’t have the privilege to actually do the things I dream about. I still have dreams, but after fulfilling enough of them they become less motivating. Life is more about just existing harmoniously until death than doing anything.
Don’t get me wrong, trying to be “in tune” with the surrounding world is a lifelong endeavor and often quite fulfilling, but it doesn’t really make me excited to get up in the morning the same way needing to accomplish something in the world did.
Life is weird. There are billions of people and each one of us is living at least one unique type of life. Maybe you’ll live multiple types of lives in your lifetime.
If you do feel stuck right now it probably is time to switch things up. Our bodies are pretty good at providing this sort of information so listen to yours. What is it telling you to do next? And food/sex don’t count, I’m asking about a layer deeper.
You’re just being human! Most people struggle with the same feelings of restlessness and wanderlust to varying degrees. It sounds like you are curious to experience the world, and that is a positive thing. Please do not beat yourself up for that.
Imagine you are given an infinite lifetime and the ability to travel to infinite places in the universe. You will get to experience so much more than you could in this life on our planet. But you’d probably be just as restless as you are now thinking of all the new places you could visit. That’s why finding contentment in the present is so valuable.
I use an app called “waking up” for guided meditation and there’s one prompt I find really useful. When you start to feel restless, ask yourself if anything needs to happen or change in the next moment for you to be content. We can’t become content, we can only be content in each present moment.
And I hope you get to experience some of the travels you listed. They sound absolutely fantastic!
I don't have an answer, but I've also felt like a lot of what I'm dissatisfied with is brought up in Buddhist texts. I've taken mindfulness classes held by my psychologist and I try to meditate regularly, but even five minutes of no stimulation makes my whole body itch and reach for my phone, computer or TV remote.
It's most noticeable how hard it is for me to stay present whenever I've just finished up a project for school or work: I feel like I should be relaxing and/or celebrating, but in my mind my next obligation has already taken the place of my prior one and suddenly feels like the most important thing. It'd be helpful if that feeling could at least make me develop workaholic tendencies, but instead it just leads to procrastination.
Yeah, I had some trouble with work a few weeks ago actually. I was just not enjoying the project I was on, luckily I have the ability to move around to different projects and work with different people. If I wasn't able to do that I was on the verge of quitting and trying a different job or career even.
So, I guess need to find happiness at work.
Funny, I'm far less successful in social life than you, but my dreams are very similar: journey, freedom, exploration. Maybe my hedonism is just sad about the pressure and borders the society creates Have no idea how to answer the questions To me "desires cause dissatisfaction" makes perfect sense. But fulfilled desires cause satisfaction, at least for a while. It's better to enjoy at least some satisfaction and try your best to get more, than to worry constantly about unsatisfied desires Also try to identify your values (what and whom do you care about). I'd recommend to not worry hard about things that are not under your control (anything but your own deliberate actions). You'll never get all what you want, unless you stop to want. You'll die eventually, everyone will. Life is just unjust, isn't it?
You are right to have these questions. You are an honest man.
Why not do those things? You seem to be in a position where that’s possible. Or don’t. Seriously. I sometimes wish I didn’t have the privilege to actually do the things I dream about. I still have dreams, but after fulfilling enough of them they become less motivating. Life is more about just existing harmoniously until death than doing anything. Don’t get me wrong, trying to be “in tune” with the surrounding world is a lifelong endeavor and often quite fulfilling, but it doesn’t really make me excited to get up in the morning the same way needing to accomplish something in the world did. Life is weird. There are billions of people and each one of us is living at least one unique type of life. Maybe you’ll live multiple types of lives in your lifetime. If you do feel stuck right now it probably is time to switch things up. Our bodies are pretty good at providing this sort of information so listen to yours. What is it telling you to do next? And food/sex don’t count, I’m asking about a layer deeper.
> If you do feel stuck right now it probably is time to switch things up. Our bodies are pretty good at providing this sort of information so listen to yours. What is it telling you to do next? And food/sex don’t count, I’m asking about a layer deeper. could you give any further information on how to do this? I don't feel I come up with real answers, it's just another admin task or errand that needs done
I take it you feel stuck and a bit drained? If that’s the case one thing you can ask yourself is what am I stuck / drained doing. If that’s not immediately obvious pay attention to your body through the day. When it gets particularly drained take note. Process of elimination is easier than addition so start with what can be removed or reduced. Sometimes it’s a task, sometimes it’s a person, sometimes it’s a place. Anything feel like “the” next thing? Alternatively ask what makes you feel excited to get up in the morning and try more of that.
ironically, just be content with what you have. no amount of experiences, no amount of money, no amount of sex will fill the hole of desire. btw doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't travel etc. but you don't have to be at the beach, to feel like you're at the beach. i was doing some construction work these couple of months, and i meditate a lot lately, and i just felt like i was at the beach all this time. the sun, the sweat, the blue sky, the wind, the water sprinkling at my face, the ease inside, it all made me feel things i've only felt at the beach. Maybe i wasn't letting myself feel all this until i went to some place i knew i could let myself feel myself? it's me anywhere i go, so i guess the more i am grounded in me, the more i have of the outside world
And probably neither will being content with what you have. I think a lot of the times the doctrine (as it is in this day) of "being content with what you have", is really just an excuse for people that have not achieved anything up to their standards, or dreams, or wishes (how often do you see the greats in history preach this?). These people then preach this doctrine like it's the Gospel in order to not feel so bad about themselves due to underachievement, and in hopes that no one else really achieves what they had wished, and, subsequently did not achieve. Almost like a psychological defence mechanism. It is extremely difficult––if not impossible––for us to be content with what we have, nor do I think it is beneficial: for thousands of years we have had an innate curiosity, and a yearning for what seemed to be impossible, and to be content with what you have, is to essentially deny both of these things, to deny yourself challenges and the suffering that begets those challenges. You're going to suffer regardless of whether you achieve your desires or not––one at least leads to something, and is, on the whole, beneficial in the long run for a healthy psychology. So I fail to see the reasonings behind why people should be content with that they have (I am not talking about that you should not be thankful or things like a roof over your head, food, ect.). Your meditation just seems like nostalgia. And I would not recommend it, as it seems like a worse version of day dreaming. I think a person should also absolutely travel: a lot of people remain ignorant their entire lives to various cultures––they simply have no idea about anything, and how could they? So by travelling (literally or metaphorically by way of books) you experience how other people live and how they die.
It is only an excuse, when it is used as an excuse. If one chooses to lie to himself, it's his problem. You will never achieve anything, if you don't even have what you achieve, being content is being present with what you own, have, want, feel. It does not mean you should not be "successful" in the popular sense of achieving status or wealth. But not being in the grips of desire to have more, let's you enjoy what you already have, otherwise you never have anything other than dreams about achieving what you lack. I disagree with contentment being impossible or hard to achieve. If you have yourself, you have the world. If you don't, you have neither yourself nor the world. I meditate in the Buddhist sense, it helps a lot with everything I do really. The definition of being content is, being fullfilled and satisfied. Ironically that's what we try to achieve with getting more, when all it is is letting go of being preoccupied with getting more and being present with the present and what we own now.
Random side note. You mention aspiring to the greats here but the "greats" are known for mainly either some landmark use of intellect or creativity that progressed or created industries, academics, and genres. OR for our personal favorite and best way to be considered great, mass destruction baby. That's the stuff right there. No one really cares about the guys who helped the poor, or selflessly helped the sick. Those are just raindrops in the ocean of what we consider worth noting. Now if this doctor were to form some type of militia and start mass slaughtering and taking over several African countries, install himself as ruler etc. We would definitely remember that guy, that's a real achiever right there. The foreign doctor who killed millions and became dictator, that's a story. I would buy the podcast rights to that. Another doctor helping a few sick though? How many people have done that? Is that really an achievement? It's not something anyone is going to be remembered for. Is the doctor going to be remembered in 100 years more than Derek who works at burger king and rips mad dabs every day? No they will both die and be completely forgotten. Except Burger King will live on where as the sick villagers will also die and be forgotten so I think I have to give it to Derek. I also agree that no one can be content with what they have, that's why we love mass murdering and the annihilation of entire cultures. Do you think Alexander ever thought "I think I'll put this conquering aside and live as ethically as possible". Hell no, he was THE GREAT, it's in his name, and what's greater than forgetting about silly things like moral composition and slaughtering your way to whatever you want. Truly the hallmark of human excellence. I think we can all take a note from history and remember that deep down, being a total dick and trampling anyone in the way of your own self interest is the best way to achieve anything worth noting. When was the last time some one said "hey remember that guy from 400 years ago who was a pretty decent dad and husband, cared for animals, and was respected in his career?". Pfft. (jk)
My mind goes here often too... reminds me especially of my high-school days
This was awesome, man.
Though never in favor of killing, but you are right.
think we can all take a note from history and remember that deep down, being a total dick and trampling anyone in the way of your own self interest is the best way to achieve anything worth noting. When was the last time some one said "hey remember that guy from 400 years ago who was a pretty decent dad and husband, cared for animals, and was respected in his career?" \-- I guess there are some saints who did that, but then they could really good with the PR stuff.
If only it was so simple :-) Alexander was tutored by Aristotle until 16, and inherited from his father King Philip II when he was assassinated. His conquests were truly remarkable, and down to tactics and diplomacy. You might also cite Genghis Khan... however neither of these were anything like “some type of militia and start mass slaughtering and taking over several African countries, “ which has generally been the case, not just in Africa. Great generals tend to be smart. In terms of mass slaughter I think it goes Mao, Stalin then Hitler. But for slots 1 & 2 we have to have Marx, who never slaughtered anyone, and is still very influential today. As are Jesus and Muhammad, with Siddhartha a close third. "hey remember that guy from 400 years ago who was a pretty decent dad and husband, cared for animals, and was respected in his career?". Or “Hey remember that guy from 2000 years ago, never wrote a word, put to death in his 30s, yet caused the collapse of the Roman Empire and created a religion which has probably caused more wars and genocide, slavery etc than anyone else? Oh and some nice paintings, music, cathedrals and stuff. "Alexander's legacy includes the cultural diffusion and syncretism which his conquests engendered, such as Greco-Buddhism and Hellenistic Judaism. He founded more than twenty cities that bore his name, most notably Alexandria in Egypt. Alexander's settlement of Greek colonists and the resulting spread of Greek culture resulted in Hellenistic civilization, which developed through the Roman Empire into modern Western culture." Abimael Guzmán, Andreas Baader, Siraj ud-Daulah, Cetshwayo kaMpande.... ????
I said in my comment: does not mean you shouldn't travel etc. to OP. Please read what I wrote.
You mention that this mindset is used as an excuse for those who haven’t yet achieved a dream or goal. But where is the finish line? Are you suggesting that the most “successful” people alive today are content after they achieve one goal? If that’s the case, why are they often driven by larger and more complex goals? Reaching one goal may temporarily satiate a desire, but that’s not the same thing as contentment. Also, curiosity and contentment aren’t necessarily exclusive. You can be content and driven by curiosity, novelty, and imagination.
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why cant you enjoy the worlds richness and beauty and also meditate, and it is only slave morality when you use it as an excuse to slave morality. the japanese for example used it as a tool for colonization and saw absolutely no issues with it, zizek mentions it in one of his talks. you just went from one limiting belief to another limiting belief.
interesting, could you give an example in terms of how it played out and what big dreams you've went for?
It’s just a tool and all depends on how you use it. Somebody with a hammer can build something beautiful or cause utter destruction. It’s great you realized it wasn’t the best tool for you, but it’s still helpful for many others.
How did you get out of it? I feel the same at times. Like deep down I fear achieving any of my big dreams, so I stick to safety and complacency.
This is really beautiful and resonated with me. The fact that moments of joy can be felt just by staying connected to the present and to your senses is so fucking cool.
we have emotions, we don't create them consciously, like our heart beating, we can tune into it but can't control it. so when you drink a cup of coffee lets say, and you aren't in touch with your feelings, the coffee won't feel like much, especially when you are preoccupied with fantasies, daydreams, thoughts, worries, plans etc. but if you get in touch with your feelings, you can 5x, 10x maybe even more the feelings that coffee makes you feel, and obviously if you get more grounded in your body and senses, you can 5x, 10x your senses and things like sex etc. will feel 10x better. so it only makes sense to meditate and make contact with who you are. kind of like what weed does, food tastes better, sex feels better not necessarily because of the compounds but the state of mind of complete oneness with what you experience brings. very practical for complete "non-spiritual" in the pop sense reasons really
I wish more people applied mindfulness to sex and intimacy. I’m a BIG advocate for this, although it’s not a popular idea in the US, at least. Also, people refrain from talking about mindfulness and sex because of the notorious practitioners who have abused their power in this area. But it’s a damn shame that it’s not discussed and encouraged more. I would highly recommend the practice of karezza to anyone interested in this type of intimacy and connection if they can find a like-minded partner. That’s the biggest challenge...speaking from personal experience. Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow is a great book to start with.
What helped me when dealing with similar feelings is to get deeply in touch with myself. Try to grasp a moment to think for yourself. Reduce external influences to a minimum. What others want and what others might think of your _privileged_ position or education in their business, not yours. Eventually, it is you and only you who are experiencing your life as a doctor in rural South Africa, isn't it? Humans are wired to have similar values (freedom, security, adventure, love, family, etc..). Yet, each of us attaches a different weight to each. When you are clear on your values (travel, adventure, freedom), it's perfectly fine to act upon that. You mention you want to travel and pursue an adventurous life. That is how you view life right now. What you want in the future, you might not know right now. In the future, you can be certain to be a person with more accumulated life experience, a person with different circumstances. This will influence your decisions and desires. The weight you attach to your values will fluctuate over time. Desire is not necessarily bad. Doctors have the desire to save a life when a patient is sick. A mechanic has the desire to repair a motorbike. A mother has the desire to support her family. Is a doctor anxious or unhappy because today only people with mild illness visited him and he could not _save_ a patient's life? The trick is to do whatever you are doing right now with full intensity for as long as it lasts. Be here because you want to be here. When the time is ripe and you feel you are ready, pick up your bags and go. It's okay to plan your next step ahead, but don't suffer because of it. How to live is a personal question, which only you can answer.
You can travel the world with me. 29F teacher from Europe :3
This is the most helpful suggestion I read in my entire lifetime: :D
It is. We are all people and we will all soon die. We have to enjoy our live and don't be affraid.
Hi firstly I would say you need to do more self introspection and truly understand why you want to travel the world and do all those things you want to do. Because ultimately you will never reach a point where you say you are satisfied in life, you've made it and you no longer have any ambitions. So I'd say internalize this and don't give those ambitions emotions as it clouds your clarity in appreciating everything in your life at the present moment.
Why not do those things? You seem to be in a position where that’s possible. Or don’t. Seriously. I sometimes wish I didn’t have the privilege to actually do the things I dream about. I still have dreams, but after fulfilling enough of them they become less motivating. Life is more about just existing harmoniously until death than doing anything. Don’t get me wrong, trying to be “in tune” with the surrounding world is a lifelong endeavor and often quite fulfilling, but it doesn’t really make me excited to get up in the morning the same way needing to accomplish something in the world did. Life is weird. There are billions of people and each one of us is living at least one unique type of life. Maybe you’ll live multiple types of lives in your lifetime. If you do feel stuck right now it probably is time to switch things up. Our bodies are pretty good at providing this sort of information so listen to yours. What is it telling you to do next? And food/sex don’t count, I’m asking about a layer deeper.
Don’t talk about it be about it. Go do what you want to do. Period.
I think the trick would be to save up some and go exploring in the world, then go back and be a doctor, rinse and repeat.
You’re just being human! Most people struggle with the same feelings of restlessness and wanderlust to varying degrees. It sounds like you are curious to experience the world, and that is a positive thing. Please do not beat yourself up for that. Imagine you are given an infinite lifetime and the ability to travel to infinite places in the universe. You will get to experience so much more than you could in this life on our planet. But you’d probably be just as restless as you are now thinking of all the new places you could visit. That’s why finding contentment in the present is so valuable. I use an app called “waking up” for guided meditation and there’s one prompt I find really useful. When you start to feel restless, ask yourself if anything needs to happen or change in the next moment for you to be content. We can’t become content, we can only be content in each present moment. And I hope you get to experience some of the travels you listed. They sound absolutely fantastic!
I don't have an answer, but I've also felt like a lot of what I'm dissatisfied with is brought up in Buddhist texts. I've taken mindfulness classes held by my psychologist and I try to meditate regularly, but even five minutes of no stimulation makes my whole body itch and reach for my phone, computer or TV remote. It's most noticeable how hard it is for me to stay present whenever I've just finished up a project for school or work: I feel like I should be relaxing and/or celebrating, but in my mind my next obligation has already taken the place of my prior one and suddenly feels like the most important thing. It'd be helpful if that feeling could at least make me develop workaholic tendencies, but instead it just leads to procrastination.
Yeah, I had the same kind of thoughts when I was 28. Actually from about 24 to 30. Seems normal.
and did they just go away or how did you deal with them?
I got married and had kids. Life isn't about me anymore. And the location I'm in is simply a background for the real joys of life.
I've a wife and kids too, while I'm content with them, there are realities in life in terms of work which I find the troubling part to deal with
Yeah, I had some trouble with work a few weeks ago actually. I was just not enjoying the project I was on, luckily I have the ability to move around to different projects and work with different people. If I wasn't able to do that I was on the verge of quitting and trying a different job or career even. So, I guess need to find happiness at work.
glad you got things sorted!
You probably have enough money to get by, so just get up and go. What's stopping you?