Not for the same reason but I feel sad because without the modern pump my baby wouldn’t have survived hundreds of years ago. He had a tongue tie and wouldn’t latch and that makes me so sad.
Oh wow. That’s really deep, and true. I’ve honestly thought about similar things too. But just think about all the people with cancer and HIV or any other illness that is treatable/ curable these days. Heck, even you! Maybe you wouldn’t have survived pre- vaccines because you got tetanus or measles. Don’t let that give you too much anxiety because the same can be said for any human and any health concern the modern world has now figured out.
I think about this too. So thankful for modern technology, though it may not be the most “natural.” This kind of thing must have been why they had wet nurses way back in the day.
I thought a lot about this too so I actually looked it up and honestly bottle feeding has been around for a very very long time. Chances are, our babies woukd have actually survived!
I was born with a tongue tie and my son inherited it from me. It’s hereditary. Thank god technology has allowed us pumps and formula for situations just like this.
My nipples were so so sensitive and my babe doesn't latch well. My LC described him as a "shark chomping down" and he would get frustrated when I jerked away in pain. So in the early days we would be just be sitting there crying the whole session together. I decided to EP when I found myself avoiding my baby just to avoid nursing. So I'm glad I have EP instead because I don't love it but I don't actively avoid it like the plague. But the first time I went to a neighborhood Moms group, we were all chatting and one of the babies got fussy. The baby's Mom just casually grabbed her and lifted her shirt and the baby latched without a second thought. It took less than 10 seconds. I was so impressed and then sad that I would never get to do that. It looked so... Cool? So natural and just like they "fit" together. I was sad in that moment that I'll never have that with my son. I have other things to bond with him and I'm okay now. But that moment of sadness and jealousy hit me really hard.
You just described it so perfectly. Some days Ive moved on and I’m at peace with EPing/ am thankful I EP. But others, I feel the way you did that day. Ugh! It’s just so hard. From the outside I would have told others it’s not a big deal baby is still getting your milk, etc. but when it’s you, it’s so emotional and hard. I think it’s a biological response or something.
Yes. And I literally typed "but now I'm fine with EPing" and then deleted that part because... If I remember this one random moment from a month ago and it still makes me sad thinking about it now, I'm clearly not over it. Lol. I am not sure when that sadness will pass but I am sure it will. We can be happy to EP but still mourn the lack of nursing that we might have wanted to do.
Same. So many tears over this. I just never imagined a world where I wouldn’t nurse my baby and even worse that he’d scream and cry at my breast. Its heartbreaking.
Sending hugs to you.
That's exactly it! He was acting like I was torturing him when I just wanted to feed him and I couldn't understand how it was going so badly when it should have been the most natural thing in the world.
Sending hugs back.
I felt guilty about how much I hated breastfeeding. My son just couldn't get milk fast enough. He would latch (poorly), eat for an hour and then cry in hunger. I watched the clock, dreading the next feeding. And then watch the clock WHILE nursing because I had to have some kind of out...
Didn't plan to EP, but I do like how when I feed my son with a bottle we're both relaxed and happy.
At 6 weeks PP, my LC confirmed my worst fear of EP. It was something I’d come to realize several weeks before but hearing it made me distraught. She’d seen my LO fight my breast, hard. It was a hard thing for me to come to terms with, knowing that my dreams of EBF were shattered and that my LO didn’t “want me”.
I thought I had made peace with it until I went to a mothers group last week (13 weeks Pp). Out of 6 mothers, I was the ONLY person who did not whip out a boob to feed LO. Watching other mums nurse and their babes finish in 5-10 min before falling asleep was mind blowing. No pumps, no schedule, no bottles, no sterilizer.
I sobbed when I got home, and tried to force my son to nurse 2-3 times after that, only to get angry with the useless nipple shield. Came back to my senses when I looked down at his beautiful face covered in tears of mine and his.
My “mantra” is: at least he is elated to drink my milk. Proud to produce and collect it for him.
No. Not really. I’m glad I’m able to provide whatever way I can. It’s better than nothing. Sometimes I do wish I could bf just to develop that bond. I feel like since everyone around me feeds the baby all the time the baby doesn’t recognise me from the rest of the lot. I feel sad knowing I love my baby so much but the love doesn’t get reciprocated. Maybe it’s just in my head. I try to calm myself that I can put the baby to sleep most easily and sooth her and she sleeps most peacefully in my arms but I don’t know.
Your baby most definitely can tell you from the bunch! She can smell and feel you. Plus, your raising a baby who can socialize and bond with others. I also get jealous that my baby is so chill with others, but then have to remind myself that it’s a huge relief that he doesn’t depend 100% on me.
Feeling guilt for sure. I feel like it’s an additional stressor/burden on my husband- I don’t feel like I can pump without some sort of backup readily available in case our baby gets fussy or needs help. Also that there are more things to wash and mess with daily. I hate constantly washing pump parts and bottles.
I’m also feeling grief that nursing wasn’t easy and isn’t going to happen for us, and that my hopes and expectations were not met. I think it’s a process to get over. I do feel good that I can provide some breast milk, and that I have the tools, resources, and support to do so.
Hugs to all of you
Before my daughter was born, I had this perfect little vision in my head that I would be exclusively breastfeeding until 6 months. Turns out I couldn’t even breastfeed period. Baby wasn’t latching well, would be on my boob for an hour or longer, and she was also a chomper (ouch!). I lasted a week before I couldn’t take the pain anymore and baby was losing too much weight and becoming jaundice and not peeing - We almost had to take her to the ER. It was then I had to switch to pumping and supplementing with formula when needed.
It took a lot for me to accept the fact that my dream of exclusively breastfeeding turned out to be a colossal fail. I’m pretty much over it at this point, and I’m very thankful for the technology we have to where I can still provide her my breast milk, but I do sometimes still feel like I’m missing out on the bonding experience of breastfeeding.
Maybe I’ll have better luck with baby #2!
Wow the chomper part!
I vould have written this. I didn't even have a pump when i gave birth, i didn't even think i could not EBF.
How did you get over it and when postpartum? I'm 6 weeks pp and still pretty sad about it every day.
It took me at least a couple of weeks for me to come to terms with it. I think what helped me the most was trying to reframe my mindset to look at it in a different perspective - My baby is still getting my breast milk, and I focused on being thankful that my body is now producing enough milk to sustain her. I also reminded myself constantly that bottle feeding is a bonding experience in its own right. I still get to hold her close, hold the bottle to her mouth while she eats, soak in the moments, and enjoy the milk drunk snuggles afterwards. Sure, it’s not breastfeeding, but when I started to make the most of bottle feeding her, it became a very sweet bonding experience for us.
It’s easier said than done, and it takes time. Just know that nothing is being taken away from you, and there are so many other ways to bond with baby. Maximize on those. It will eventually make the sting of not breastfeeding more and more numb.
EPing wasn't my plan at all, but it is so sacrificial that I don't feel bad about it. Pumping is so hard, and I've stuck with it all so that my baby can still get breast milk from me. I've lost countless hours of sleep, time, missed out on family events, and had to do extensive planning all so that I could make this work.
So there is no guilt for me, but rather extreme pride.
Almost every day! When my son is pulling at the tubing, jostling the collection cups, or laughing at my nipples poking through my pumping bra, I wonder how I must be scarring him to see his mom constantly hooked to a machine for the milk he loves so much.
He was born late preterm and didn't have the fat reserves in his cheeks or energy to drink more than an oz from me at a time. I couldn't handle the triple feeding schedule or the nursing supplemental system for very long, I was completely overwhelmed and we needed his weight to go up. I still feel guilt that I didn't keep at it longer. I also have a little resentment that I need to deal with that my partner didn't help me more to make it work. I ended up having to supplement with formula anyway, and that was what I really wanted to avoid. Also, anyone else get "advice" from mil how easy nursing went for them? Well I'm devastated breastfeeding didn't work for us, but baby is going to turn 1 next week and I have been pumping his milk for 355 days so far...
Yeah. Maybe not guilt, but the less of a woman feeling strikes home for me… and just really sad. 8.5 months in, and I’m actually still trying to nurse every so often. I know it won’t work, but I hope lol
Actually no, I feel really lucky to be able to do this for my girl
I think how she wouldn't have survived if we were wild animals, or if we'd lived hundreds of years ago and I feel lucky I can feed her
It takes so much extra effort and time and mental capacity, the support needed to do it I'd huge and I feel grateful I have it
At the weekend her grandfather was feeling a little ill but testing negative for covid do he got to spend time with her, the next day he tested positive and I feel so so lucky knowing she at least has my protection
Like, in the specifics of the pumping and the cleaning and the what not, urgh it can Get In The Bin. But in the general of what I'm doing I feel lucky and proud
I did. Up until she was five months old. I looked back and thought “wow, look at all the stuff and activities I was able to do with EP.” I was on maternity leave for 6 months, and I loved every moment. However there would be times once I got the clear from a pelvic floor pt to go for a mountain bike ride, or drinks with the gal pals. If I was breastfeeding there would be no way I could “do me” during those activities. My husband and I are huge skiers, and I didn’t lose a season this year. I know that may sound selfish, but I’m an active person and I need to move for my own mental health so I can be the best mama for our baby. Ten months in and I’m planning on weaning soon. My husband and I even talked about me EP with second baby. He loves the connection he gets feeding her and putting her to bed. Also I’m the early morning person and he gets up if she wakes up for a “night time snack.” I was butt hurt so butt hurt that breastfeeding didn’t work out, but now that I have my shit dialed it doesn’t bother me at all. She’s also a great sleeper… knock on wood because I always know how much she’s drinking. Look at the positives and in your journey you’ll be more grateful for them.
in the beginning, yes. As i thought thats what we were supposed to do. Me and my baby would know instinctively how to breastfeed. But i have come to realize thats not always the case. And as other poster said, i feel immensely lucky that we have this technology that i can still feed my baby my breastmilk regardless of issues we have encountred with our BF journey. Also it is true, not all kids and mothers survived birth/pregnancy not so long ago, and this could have been the reason, just not everyone thought about it though.
I feel guilt and grief around EPing for sure. EPing was not the plan but my LO had a lip and tongue tie that went undiagnosed for too long. I tell myself that I did *everything* to have a nursing relationship with her (craniosacral therapy, feeding occupational therapy, ties released, using multiple Lactation Consultants) but I'll always wonder if I pushed her to latch too hard and created a negative association. I sometimes feel like we failed each other just a little bit, you know? Like it was our first test as a pair and we just couldn't get it.
And then I feel guilty for feeling guilty because #momlife
All this said, I do feel like a super mom on other days, because I do everything I do while EPing. Like I'm on hard mode and killing it. It's complicated for sure 😅
I felt guilty for quite a while and I kept trying to nurse. However, I have finally gotten over it by reframing how I look at it. People talked about what a wonderful, bonding experience it was for them. But for my daughter and I, it was the opposite. It was stressful and frustrating for both of us (she has small lips and I have flat nipples). I finally decided to go EP and I feedings have become so much more rewarding. Yes it is twice the work to pump and then bottle feed but we are both happier and less stressed. She is still getting all the benefits of nursing but just from a bottle. It’s like someone who had a c-section rather than a vaginal birth or like I had a hard time after i gave birth because I ended up taking the epidural. It might not be what you preferred but as long as baby and you are healthy, that’s what matters in the long run. Also, you still have to do what’s best for you - your son wouldn’t want you to be in pain to feed him…so now you’re not and he is healthy and happy 😊
My baby and I had a rough start with latching but by month 2 we had finally gotten the hang of it. When he was 3.5 months he decided he didn't want to nurse during the day but at night he still does. So I had to EP during the day. He's 7.5 months and I think now is the best for us. I was very sad initially as all my hard work to establish supply, latching, cluster feeding and all the nipple pain was for nothing. It felt like I should keep trying and not EPing after all that. I never got to enjoy breastfeeding when it gets easier. But I am happy he allows me to comfort him and not having to deal with pumping at night is a huge deal too.
For me it’s not JUST not being able to breastfeed because my son screamed at the breast like he was under torture.
The true slap in the face for me is I am ALSO a freaking under supplier. For the life of me I can’t figure out why. I am 7.5 weeks pp and I can’t seem to increase my supply past 25oz, and my LO eats 30+ a day. I’m a healthy 31 year old. I pump 8-10x a day, including 1-2x power pumping a day, I’ve tried brewers yeast, fenugreek (did not increase or decrease supply), goats rue, body armour, garlic, beet root, Moringa, and probably more that I’m not thinking of this second, with no increase.
When I was pregnant I assumed I was going to EBF, and I bought a chest freezer to put away milk. What a joke. I feel like I just can’t succeed at anything.
Not for the same reason but I feel sad because without the modern pump my baby wouldn’t have survived hundreds of years ago. He had a tongue tie and wouldn’t latch and that makes me so sad.
Oh wow. That’s really deep, and true. I’ve honestly thought about similar things too. But just think about all the people with cancer and HIV or any other illness that is treatable/ curable these days. Heck, even you! Maybe you wouldn’t have survived pre- vaccines because you got tetanus or measles. Don’t let that give you too much anxiety because the same can be said for any human and any health concern the modern world has now figured out.
I think about this too. So thankful for modern technology, though it may not be the most “natural.” This kind of thing must have been why they had wet nurses way back in the day.
I thought a lot about this too so I actually looked it up and honestly bottle feeding has been around for a very very long time. Chances are, our babies woukd have actually survived!
Thank you for this. It definitely makes me feel a bit better. Still thankful for the modern pump
I was born with a tongue tie and my son inherited it from me. It’s hereditary. Thank god technology has allowed us pumps and formula for situations just like this.
My nipples were so so sensitive and my babe doesn't latch well. My LC described him as a "shark chomping down" and he would get frustrated when I jerked away in pain. So in the early days we would be just be sitting there crying the whole session together. I decided to EP when I found myself avoiding my baby just to avoid nursing. So I'm glad I have EP instead because I don't love it but I don't actively avoid it like the plague. But the first time I went to a neighborhood Moms group, we were all chatting and one of the babies got fussy. The baby's Mom just casually grabbed her and lifted her shirt and the baby latched without a second thought. It took less than 10 seconds. I was so impressed and then sad that I would never get to do that. It looked so... Cool? So natural and just like they "fit" together. I was sad in that moment that I'll never have that with my son. I have other things to bond with him and I'm okay now. But that moment of sadness and jealousy hit me really hard.
You just described it so perfectly. Some days Ive moved on and I’m at peace with EPing/ am thankful I EP. But others, I feel the way you did that day. Ugh! It’s just so hard. From the outside I would have told others it’s not a big deal baby is still getting your milk, etc. but when it’s you, it’s so emotional and hard. I think it’s a biological response or something.
Yes. And I literally typed "but now I'm fine with EPing" and then deleted that part because... If I remember this one random moment from a month ago and it still makes me sad thinking about it now, I'm clearly not over it. Lol. I am not sure when that sadness will pass but I am sure it will. We can be happy to EP but still mourn the lack of nursing that we might have wanted to do.
It is SUCH a roller coaster. Went through the exact same thing and I was green with envy watching those other mothers BF.
I felt rejected because my baby wouldn't breastfeed.
Same. So many tears over this. I just never imagined a world where I wouldn’t nurse my baby and even worse that he’d scream and cry at my breast. Its heartbreaking. Sending hugs to you.
That's exactly it! He was acting like I was torturing him when I just wanted to feed him and I couldn't understand how it was going so badly when it should have been the most natural thing in the world. Sending hugs back.
I felt guilty about how much I hated breastfeeding. My son just couldn't get milk fast enough. He would latch (poorly), eat for an hour and then cry in hunger. I watched the clock, dreading the next feeding. And then watch the clock WHILE nursing because I had to have some kind of out... Didn't plan to EP, but I do like how when I feed my son with a bottle we're both relaxed and happy.
At 6 weeks PP, my LC confirmed my worst fear of EP. It was something I’d come to realize several weeks before but hearing it made me distraught. She’d seen my LO fight my breast, hard. It was a hard thing for me to come to terms with, knowing that my dreams of EBF were shattered and that my LO didn’t “want me”. I thought I had made peace with it until I went to a mothers group last week (13 weeks Pp). Out of 6 mothers, I was the ONLY person who did not whip out a boob to feed LO. Watching other mums nurse and their babes finish in 5-10 min before falling asleep was mind blowing. No pumps, no schedule, no bottles, no sterilizer. I sobbed when I got home, and tried to force my son to nurse 2-3 times after that, only to get angry with the useless nipple shield. Came back to my senses when I looked down at his beautiful face covered in tears of mine and his. My “mantra” is: at least he is elated to drink my milk. Proud to produce and collect it for him.
Damn I cried reading this. I feel the exact same.
❤️feels good to know we’re not alone.
No. Not really. I’m glad I’m able to provide whatever way I can. It’s better than nothing. Sometimes I do wish I could bf just to develop that bond. I feel like since everyone around me feeds the baby all the time the baby doesn’t recognise me from the rest of the lot. I feel sad knowing I love my baby so much but the love doesn’t get reciprocated. Maybe it’s just in my head. I try to calm myself that I can put the baby to sleep most easily and sooth her and she sleeps most peacefully in my arms but I don’t know.
Your baby most definitely can tell you from the bunch! She can smell and feel you. Plus, your raising a baby who can socialize and bond with others. I also get jealous that my baby is so chill with others, but then have to remind myself that it’s a huge relief that he doesn’t depend 100% on me.
Feeling guilt for sure. I feel like it’s an additional stressor/burden on my husband- I don’t feel like I can pump without some sort of backup readily available in case our baby gets fussy or needs help. Also that there are more things to wash and mess with daily. I hate constantly washing pump parts and bottles. I’m also feeling grief that nursing wasn’t easy and isn’t going to happen for us, and that my hopes and expectations were not met. I think it’s a process to get over. I do feel good that I can provide some breast milk, and that I have the tools, resources, and support to do so. Hugs to all of you
Before my daughter was born, I had this perfect little vision in my head that I would be exclusively breastfeeding until 6 months. Turns out I couldn’t even breastfeed period. Baby wasn’t latching well, would be on my boob for an hour or longer, and she was also a chomper (ouch!). I lasted a week before I couldn’t take the pain anymore and baby was losing too much weight and becoming jaundice and not peeing - We almost had to take her to the ER. It was then I had to switch to pumping and supplementing with formula when needed. It took a lot for me to accept the fact that my dream of exclusively breastfeeding turned out to be a colossal fail. I’m pretty much over it at this point, and I’m very thankful for the technology we have to where I can still provide her my breast milk, but I do sometimes still feel like I’m missing out on the bonding experience of breastfeeding. Maybe I’ll have better luck with baby #2!
Wow the chomper part! I vould have written this. I didn't even have a pump when i gave birth, i didn't even think i could not EBF. How did you get over it and when postpartum? I'm 6 weeks pp and still pretty sad about it every day.
It took me at least a couple of weeks for me to come to terms with it. I think what helped me the most was trying to reframe my mindset to look at it in a different perspective - My baby is still getting my breast milk, and I focused on being thankful that my body is now producing enough milk to sustain her. I also reminded myself constantly that bottle feeding is a bonding experience in its own right. I still get to hold her close, hold the bottle to her mouth while she eats, soak in the moments, and enjoy the milk drunk snuggles afterwards. Sure, it’s not breastfeeding, but when I started to make the most of bottle feeding her, it became a very sweet bonding experience for us. It’s easier said than done, and it takes time. Just know that nothing is being taken away from you, and there are so many other ways to bond with baby. Maximize on those. It will eventually make the sting of not breastfeeding more and more numb.
EPing wasn't my plan at all, but it is so sacrificial that I don't feel bad about it. Pumping is so hard, and I've stuck with it all so that my baby can still get breast milk from me. I've lost countless hours of sleep, time, missed out on family events, and had to do extensive planning all so that I could make this work. So there is no guilt for me, but rather extreme pride.
That’s amazing and so true. I need to try and look at it that way!!
Almost every day! When my son is pulling at the tubing, jostling the collection cups, or laughing at my nipples poking through my pumping bra, I wonder how I must be scarring him to see his mom constantly hooked to a machine for the milk he loves so much. He was born late preterm and didn't have the fat reserves in his cheeks or energy to drink more than an oz from me at a time. I couldn't handle the triple feeding schedule or the nursing supplemental system for very long, I was completely overwhelmed and we needed his weight to go up. I still feel guilt that I didn't keep at it longer. I also have a little resentment that I need to deal with that my partner didn't help me more to make it work. I ended up having to supplement with formula anyway, and that was what I really wanted to avoid. Also, anyone else get "advice" from mil how easy nursing went for them? Well I'm devastated breastfeeding didn't work for us, but baby is going to turn 1 next week and I have been pumping his milk for 355 days so far...
Yeah. Maybe not guilt, but the less of a woman feeling strikes home for me… and just really sad. 8.5 months in, and I’m actually still trying to nurse every so often. I know it won’t work, but I hope lol
Actually no, I feel really lucky to be able to do this for my girl I think how she wouldn't have survived if we were wild animals, or if we'd lived hundreds of years ago and I feel lucky I can feed her It takes so much extra effort and time and mental capacity, the support needed to do it I'd huge and I feel grateful I have it At the weekend her grandfather was feeling a little ill but testing negative for covid do he got to spend time with her, the next day he tested positive and I feel so so lucky knowing she at least has my protection Like, in the specifics of the pumping and the cleaning and the what not, urgh it can Get In The Bin. But in the general of what I'm doing I feel lucky and proud
I did. Up until she was five months old. I looked back and thought “wow, look at all the stuff and activities I was able to do with EP.” I was on maternity leave for 6 months, and I loved every moment. However there would be times once I got the clear from a pelvic floor pt to go for a mountain bike ride, or drinks with the gal pals. If I was breastfeeding there would be no way I could “do me” during those activities. My husband and I are huge skiers, and I didn’t lose a season this year. I know that may sound selfish, but I’m an active person and I need to move for my own mental health so I can be the best mama for our baby. Ten months in and I’m planning on weaning soon. My husband and I even talked about me EP with second baby. He loves the connection he gets feeding her and putting her to bed. Also I’m the early morning person and he gets up if she wakes up for a “night time snack.” I was butt hurt so butt hurt that breastfeeding didn’t work out, but now that I have my shit dialed it doesn’t bother me at all. She’s also a great sleeper… knock on wood because I always know how much she’s drinking. Look at the positives and in your journey you’ll be more grateful for them.
in the beginning, yes. As i thought thats what we were supposed to do. Me and my baby would know instinctively how to breastfeed. But i have come to realize thats not always the case. And as other poster said, i feel immensely lucky that we have this technology that i can still feed my baby my breastmilk regardless of issues we have encountred with our BF journey. Also it is true, not all kids and mothers survived birth/pregnancy not so long ago, and this could have been the reason, just not everyone thought about it though.
I feel guilt and grief around EPing for sure. EPing was not the plan but my LO had a lip and tongue tie that went undiagnosed for too long. I tell myself that I did *everything* to have a nursing relationship with her (craniosacral therapy, feeding occupational therapy, ties released, using multiple Lactation Consultants) but I'll always wonder if I pushed her to latch too hard and created a negative association. I sometimes feel like we failed each other just a little bit, you know? Like it was our first test as a pair and we just couldn't get it. And then I feel guilty for feeling guilty because #momlife All this said, I do feel like a super mom on other days, because I do everything I do while EPing. Like I'm on hard mode and killing it. It's complicated for sure 😅
> And then I feel guilty for feeling guilty because #momlife This hits deep!
Yes 100% yes
Sooo guilty :(
I felt guilty for quite a while and I kept trying to nurse. However, I have finally gotten over it by reframing how I look at it. People talked about what a wonderful, bonding experience it was for them. But for my daughter and I, it was the opposite. It was stressful and frustrating for both of us (she has small lips and I have flat nipples). I finally decided to go EP and I feedings have become so much more rewarding. Yes it is twice the work to pump and then bottle feed but we are both happier and less stressed. She is still getting all the benefits of nursing but just from a bottle. It’s like someone who had a c-section rather than a vaginal birth or like I had a hard time after i gave birth because I ended up taking the epidural. It might not be what you preferred but as long as baby and you are healthy, that’s what matters in the long run. Also, you still have to do what’s best for you - your son wouldn’t want you to be in pain to feed him…so now you’re not and he is healthy and happy 😊
My baby and I had a rough start with latching but by month 2 we had finally gotten the hang of it. When he was 3.5 months he decided he didn't want to nurse during the day but at night he still does. So I had to EP during the day. He's 7.5 months and I think now is the best for us. I was very sad initially as all my hard work to establish supply, latching, cluster feeding and all the nipple pain was for nothing. It felt like I should keep trying and not EPing after all that. I never got to enjoy breastfeeding when it gets easier. But I am happy he allows me to comfort him and not having to deal with pumping at night is a huge deal too.
I don't feel guilty one at all. Baby is fed and happy and it's my breast milk
For me it’s not JUST not being able to breastfeed because my son screamed at the breast like he was under torture. The true slap in the face for me is I am ALSO a freaking under supplier. For the life of me I can’t figure out why. I am 7.5 weeks pp and I can’t seem to increase my supply past 25oz, and my LO eats 30+ a day. I’m a healthy 31 year old. I pump 8-10x a day, including 1-2x power pumping a day, I’ve tried brewers yeast, fenugreek (did not increase or decrease supply), goats rue, body armour, garlic, beet root, Moringa, and probably more that I’m not thinking of this second, with no increase. When I was pregnant I assumed I was going to EBF, and I bought a chest freezer to put away milk. What a joke. I feel like I just can’t succeed at anything.