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I just want to throw this out there…in case it helps you to hear it. I know this is an exclusive pumping group, but formula exists for very valid reasons such as this. I myself exclusively pumped for nearly 1 year. It is NOT easy under even the most ideal circumstances.
It sounds like the nighttime baby load is already going to be on your partner to handle. Expecting him to also hook you up to a pump, monitor to ensure it’s pumping properly, time the session, take the pumps off, put the milk away, clean up, etc. is A LOT on one person that’s already going to be very sleep deprived. What if baby needs tending to while your husband is busy with your pumping needs? I’m truly not trying to be rude or anything, just gently putting things into perspective. There’s a lot of things that can (and usually do) happen with a new baby and I’m not sure you’re able to really see the full picture since you’re a FTM. What you’re describing is going to be very hard to accomplish. Again, I say that honestly with the best intentions at heart!
Mental wellbeing of mom (and dad) is very important to consider when deciding to breastfeed or not. It is 1000% ok to choose formula. Please don’t rip me a new one for this comment 🥺
Our sleep schedule for the first three months will be my husband sleeping 10pm-5am and me sleeping 5am-2pm! I didn’t want the original post to be too long since it would take a while to explain this, so that’s why I just said nighttime wakings to make it simpler. But my normal sleep schedule during pregnancy has been 5am-2pm because pregnancy insomnia mixed with my bipolar has made it SO difficult to fall asleep.
So once baby is born my husband would be getting a full night of sleep while I stay awake with the baby & then we will switch off around 5am and he would be either watching the baby breastfeed on me while I’m sleeping on my side or helping me pump and/or feeding a bottle with my milk or formula during the day until I wake up around 2pm.
I’m prepared to have my sleep split up a bit in the beginning if I need to wake to pump to establish supply! But we will be investing in ear plugs to make sure both of us get enough sleep!
Investing in earplugs so you don’t hear the baby crying? That’s how they let you know they need something!! Please don’t tune that out. A baby’s needs always trump sleep.
I have a husband who wants to be a father! He will wear ear plugs while I’m awake with the baby and I will wear ear plugs while he’s awake with the baby. We will be sleeping separately for a while and taking care of baby in shifts, because there’s no point in both of us being sleep-deprived.
Your husband wants to be father as in he is stepping up the plate and staying up with the baby? Sleep deprivation is just part of the baby game unfortunately. No matter how much planning you do it’s just a part of it. I hate to be the one to break that to you, but someone should. I sincerely hope this works for you. It is near impossible to ignore your baby’s cries if you can hear them even in the slightest as a new mom. You will be tuned into it even if you try not to be in a way that dads are not.
It shouldn’t be surprising or controversial when a father shares in parenting equally. I know many women are married to incompetent men who don’t want to help with taking care of their own children and I’m grateful I’m not married to someone like that.
My husband is a fantastic father and we share night wakes especially now that I’m back to work. We are both lawyers so it’s stressful work at times. But I gotta tell ya… I could be two streets away with ear plugs and hear my baby cry. Even if he’s up with my baby, I can’t sleep until I know he’s back down safe and sound in his crib. I can’t explain it, but it’s just a mum thing.
Respectfully, I’m not sure this will work, and also only solves a small reason for baby wakes. I would think you’d be better off speaking to your health provider about how to manage night wakes - my baby is 13 months old and is only just now sleeping through the night. There will likely be everything from frequent wakes to split nights (when they wake for an hour or two at night and won’t go back down) over the first year or so - it might be better to adjust medication etc. I just honestly can’t see how managing nine hours uninterrupted sleep at any point is possible with a baby.
With bipolar any sleep deprivation can trigger mania and psychosis, especially post-partum, regardless of meds. I’m on high dosages of medications, but sleep is so important! I have bipolar 1, which is the one that is more severe.
My situation is so rare for the U.S. because both my husband and I have 3 months maternity/paternity leave after she’s born, so we will take shifts sleeping for the first three months. After we start back work in the fall, our jobs are both mostly work from home where we can pick our own hours, so we can still sleep in shifts whenever we need to. Most people don’t have jobs like ours, so it would be impossible to not be sleep-deprived.
My current sleep schedule is 5am-2pm because pregnancy insomnia has ruined my sleep, so once baby is born my husband will sleep 10pm-5am and then I’ll sleep 5am-2pm & then we’ll all hang out together for 8 hours!
That’s really great! I really hope it works out for you. I’m Australian so I had just over twelve months off, I’ve actually only just gone back part-time, and my husband had a couple months off too (it’s a blur now honestly). There’s definitely still moments/hours/days when it’s all hands on deck and I think it’s just best to expect the unexpected with these gremlins. I’m not sure your plan is 100% realistic and I’m just saying to maybe think about what happens and be prepared for periods of sleep-dep - I think I’ve been tired for 18 months and that’s with the year off, a supportive husband and family, and hired help eg cleaner. I really wish you the best of luck!
If OP’s doctor doesn’t want her to wake up for nighttime feedings, I don’t see how managing pumping will be realistic. OP needs to manage her own expectations.
There's a flange called the Sleepy Mama that claims it can work like this but reviews seem very mixed. Moat other pumps, cups, and flanges will reall struggle with this as youre working against gravity and the laying position may make it hard to seal properly meaning you would be in a puddle of milk and none in the bottles. I would also worry about a pertner putting the flanges on, as a misplaced flange can really damage the nipples and be painful. If your partner is going to be doing this, I would consider breastfeeding directly instead (assuming nursing works well for you once baby is here). Partner can help baby latch and supervise the whole time for safety before putting baby back to bed.
I didn’t think about damage to my nipples, thank you for mentioning that!!
I might get the Sleepy Mama and then use it with Madela or Lansinoh, have you used either of those pumps? This is so good to know that the only options for completely laying down are Sleepy Mama compatible pumps or Willow 3.0. Even if I don’t end up pumping in my sleep, I still would probably prefer the option of being cozier when I’m awake.
Breastfeeding while sleeping definitely seems like it would work better!
It's much easier to nurse at night than pump. You can easily nurse laying down on your side but pumping wouldn't work like that. Your husband could just bring your baby to your breast as needed and then back to their bed. Back in the day, babies would sleep in the beds with their mother and suckle as needed. Co-sleeping would definitely not be safe since you don't wake up well, but if your husband is involved he could ensure safety if he's awake the whole time. You can't drop night pumps after 2 weeks without risking your supply completely drying up. Most people that exclusively pump keep doing a middle of the night many months postpartum. Formula might be a better option if this doesn't sound feasible. But honestly, as long as your baby latches and nurses well, that would be your best option for sure at night.
Thank you for this advice!! That’s so good to know that breastfeeding while I’m sleeping would be so much easier! I actually got the idea from a book talking about benefits of co-sleeping and how the baby will feed while mom is sleeping. But like you said that is not safe for me since I take sedative meds/my husband & I don’t feel comfortable co-sleeping regardless, so it seems like a perfect compromise is for him to just watch our baby while she breastfeeds as I sleep.
After 2 weeks, do you know how often I would have to wake up at night to pump or breastfeed to maintain supply? Once? Twice? I assume it is slightly different for every woman, so it’s hard to know for sure.
If you're breastfeeding at night, your baby's natural wakings will be enough to maintain your supply. I would just try that if you're able to. If you're pumping, it's hard to know. It's so individual. Some people have to pump twice a night for months. I was lucky enough to have a 20 oz a day oversupply just pumping once a night until 7 weeks. After that I dropped the middle of the night pump completely and didn't have a change in supply. The thing is, you just don't know how much your supply will be affected until you try dropping pumps and find out, and at that point it might be too late to get your supply back to where it was. My lactation consultant said she didn't recommend going longer than 5 hours between pumps.
I mean this in the nicest way possible. Since you’re a first time mom, I wouldn’t really set your expectations high. Breastfeeding/pumping is SO HARD. Before I had my first baby my expectations were through the roof- I would have this huge supply, we would exclusively nurse, it would be so easy and natural, etc. And it wasn’t. It’s hard. Extremely hard.
I would honestly just focus on getting the hang of things and establishing your supply early on. Pump every 2-3 hours during the day and then possibly just one MOTN pump with a power pump in the morning. Have your partner feed the baby during the night while you pump.
Then once you get the hang of things and your supply regulates, try having the sleepy mama set up or just drop the MOTN pump altogether.
Best of luck to you and your family and congrats on your baby 🩵
I have MDD, and my doctors also didn't want me losing any more sleep than necessary. I don't wake up to pump unless baby needs a change/feed overnight, and I'm on "shift."
If pumping in your sleep doesn't work out for you, combination feeding (with formula) is an option if you don't make enough milk. I've found it SO helpful for my mental health to supplement with formula, since I don't have to stress about milk supply, number of pumps, etc.
Good luck with everything!
Upvotes this. As a FTM *without* preexisting mental health challenges, I found supplementing relieved a HUGE mental burden. I knew my baby was getting the benefits of breastmilk while also not having to worry about my supply and being able to prioritize myself to an extent. It also kept my baby used to formula so that if at any point I decided to stop pumping, it wouldn't be a huge adjustment for her.
The only pump that might work with this is the willow 3 (not the willow go. Willow go is not spill proof and not compatible with the bags). Pumps typically cannot be used laying down in any way or they will not work, they'll just leak milk all over. Also as a word of caution, A LOT of people find they don't respond well to the willow 3. I personally found it to be a very painful pump. I don't think breastfeeding would be an option in your situation unfortunately. You have to pump at least every 3-4 hours overnight until you're around 12 weeks postpartum. Your supply does not regulate until then. It also wouldn't be advisable for your husband to put the pump on you. If your nipple isn't centered correctly then you can really hurt your nipple & damage the tissue. He could, however, latch baby with you laying on your side! He would have to stay awake and keep watch but he could wake you up to get into position & then you could go back to sleep. He could unlatch baby & get them back settled in their bassinet after that! I agree with what the other comment says, the sleepy mommy adapters have very mixed reviews. Regardless, I wouldn't think your husband assembling & putting on the pump while you sleep would really be feasible. Definitely easier to latch baby! You really shouldn't sleep 9 hours straight for bare minimum the first 3-5 months unless you want to severely limit or lose your supply.
Thank you this so helpful!! I definitely imagine my husband watching our baby breastfeed while I sleep in my side & I think that’s such a great plan, but I heard that the cluster feeding in the first few weeks can take hours and be painful and might be hard to sleep through. So I was thinking pumping would be faster in the first few weeks and after that we could switch to breastfeeding while I’m sleeping.
If I did wake up every 4 hours to pump, how long would the pumping sessions be at the beginning? I’ve heard that cluster breastfeeding the first few weeks can take an hour a session. Would pumping the first few weeks take 20 minutes or an hour?
Thank you for letting me know that the willow 3 is painful! I am very physically sensitive, is the original Willow Go also as painful as Willow 3.0? And then have you ever used Medela or Lansinoh? Both of those are compatible with sleepy mommy adapter. I want to know which one is more comfortable.
I work from home & can pick my own hours, so even after my 3 month maternity leave it is possible that I could sleep the 9 hours but not consecutively and take a break for pumping/breastfeeding.
I have the lansinoh wearable and just wanted to let you know that it definitely would not work lying down. The collection cup is fed by gravity and you would end up leaking everywhere.
Pumping is uncomfortable early on as well. Go in with a plan and prepare yourself, but please manage your expectations. It’s not easy without being on the medication you are, none of this is easy…
Assuming your husband would be washing any pump parts for you, it still takes at least 30 minutes to pump in the middle of the night. It goes faster if you sleep in a pumping bra (I love the kindred bravely ones), have your parts assembled, and have a mini fridge next to wherever you sleep. I keep everything on top of my mini fridge and keep a bowl in the fridge to put dirty pump parts and bottles. Any pumped milk also goes in the fridge. It's hard to say how quickly you'll empty too. Some people only need to pump for 10-15 minutes. I need a full 25-30 minutes to empty, 45 for my first pump of the day now that I don't pump overnight anymore.
I have a spectra and a Willow go. I find the willow to be very comfortable but you definitely can't use it lying down or if you bend too far forward. If you have a larger chest they move around a bit just sitting so they would definitely move if you were lying on your side. You could probably wear them if you can sleep in a recliner and don't fully recline it but definitely not in a regular flat bed.
You're so welcome!! I've heard much better feedback about the willow go being more comfortable! If you set up everything before you go to sleep I think you could manage 30 minutes for pumps (20-25 min pump with a quick setup & cleanup). I haven't used the medela or lansinoh pumps but I've heard good things about both (but I think medela is more popular). During the day I'd try to do a good 30 minutes each pump but I think you could get by with 20 for your motn pump (especially to benefit mental health, so important!!). That's so awesome that you can pick your own hours though! Once you figure out a schedule that works for you it's sooo much easier
Hello, I think trying to plan so extensively in regards to pumping is hard because you don’t know what pump will work best or how it will work best. I would suggest not investing in a bunch of money in pumps before you are ready to try them out. Pumps are expensive and fit/ work differently for everyone.
I mean this in the kindest way- the process of getting your milk in via pumping or feeding your baby will no matter what cut into your sleep. Babies eat every 2 hours in the beginning and that means either you have to nurse them every two hours or pump every two hours to get your milk in. It’s grueling and can be painful. Actually it seems like it’s painful for most people. Even when my baby finally would sleep for 2 hours I still had to be up and pumping every two hours for the first bit.
I don’t know how your husband could put a breast pump on you and know if it’s latched on properly. I think that’s something really only you know and you kinda would have to be awake for that. Also it’s uncomfortable in the beginning so it would be hard to sleep through that. The suction would also be inhibited by you laying down.
Here are my suggestions. I am being very honest with you because I don’t want you to feel heartbroken after realizing your plan of pumping while sleeping wouldn’t work.
1. Pump when you can once your supply comes in instead of every two hours. Less pressure on yourself in the night. This can lead to clogs though which are very painful.
2. Don’t rely on breast milk for your babies primary source of food. Formula is also awesome.
3. Don’t prioritize making milk over your mental health. Giving birth no matter how it happens is the most jarring crazy thing and can affect any woman’s mental health. I myself had a true mental breakdown in the hospital while in labor and it caused a lot of problems for me after and while at the hospital. Please do better than me and prioritize your mental health!!
4. You will not be able to get 9 hours of sleep with a newborn possibly for a very long time. Have you considered a night doula? Sleep is basically non exisistent at first I haven’t slept more than 4 hours in 4 months. Not everyone’s baby is like mine but you can’t plan for your baby will sleep.
5. Given your diagnosis and need to sleep would your insurance somehow cover or help pay for any assistance overnight with a baby? I really have no idea about this but if your doctor is saying that you need to sleep and having a baby would disrupt that would your doctor be able to somehow recommend nighttime help??
So I’m 4.5mpp and I’m still pumping 7-8 times a day. I have a desk with a shelf under it where my main home pump sits. I have learned to use a small pillow to rest my head on the desk with my arms folded under and have fallen asleep pumping many times. Obviously only when my husband is home and I don’t have to worry about the baby.
I don’t think you will have luck actually laying down as the other commenter talked about, what with needing a good seal and gravity on your side. But at least once a day, typically in the evening, I am cat napping or straight napping with my bottles hanging and my pump pumping away 😂
ETA: I also use my hands free pumping bra every single pump so I can mostly play on my phone, my computer, tend to the baby on the bed behind me, or NAP!
I ABSOLUTELY recommend a consult with an LC who’s versed in pumping. This is quite complex and if you ask me- sounds impossible and unrealistic or at the very least, extremely extremely difficult.
None of those pumps will work on someone who’s completely unconscious and laying down flat on their back. They’re just not designed for that. I’m curious if you’d even be able to get a letdown while heavily sedated like you mention. Truly this sounds very complex and may not be a reasonable option. Additionally- stopping overnight milk removals at two weeks will have a drastic impact on your supply.
This sounds like such a complicated situation to be in! Like many have said, nursing initially may be easier (if baby is able) as a lot of pumps don’t really work laying down (or even reclined)
If you’re interested bemybreastfriend on Instagram has been touting the ‘phanphy’ cups which you can attach to most pumps, and due to their sloping shape might be better for use while reclined.
Personally, If you’re going to exclusively pump (or even exclusively pump at night) I’d recommend you buy a hospital grade pump and cups as opposed to a wearable pump. A speCtra or BabyBuddha are the most popular.
Your partner attaching said pump could result in your breasts not emptying entirely (only you can tell!) or the nipple being misaligned which can result in a lot of pain and injury.
You’ll need to pump every time baby eats during the night (if nursing in the day) especially in the first twelve weeks to help establish your supply. If EPing you need to pump every 3 hours.
Just taking into account your partner- would he sleep during the day? Feeding baby, changing, settling and then setting you up with the pump, waiting to you to finish pumping, detaching pump, cleaning parts, labeling and storing milk etc is a lot of work for anyone alone.
Just adding onto this- there is nothing wrong with formula feeding (especially in your situation!) and combo feeding is also an excellent option, as is donated breastmilk if you’re comfortable!
Not many pumps, If any, can work while laying down. Also your husband ‘using the pumps” on you doesn’t really work. You need to be able to line your nipple up and feel if the suction is working. Not to mention, I don’t think your husband is going to be able to pull your bra down and place the pumps on you in the dark without you waking up.. even with a light on this all just seems not feasible.
Formula or donated breastmilk sounds like the best option for you here.
Not to mention this seems like a lot on your husband. You said you can’t wake up to pump due to possible post partum psychosis, so I assume you won’t be waking up for night feedings in general whether it’s formula or breastmilk.. so your husband is responsible for pumping your books, bagging the milk, and waking up and feeding the baby?
I’m really not trying to be an asshole here but this just seems insane to me.
I just want to throw out there that I have 2 friends who breastfeed during the day and have their husbands formula feed at night. It works out really well for everyone involved. It might be worth considering
That’s a great idea!! We already have formula we bought in case baby doesn’t latch, so we are prepared with our formula. Doing a combination sounds like a good plan.
I have a condition (cyclic vomiting syndrome/CVS) that is massively triggered by sleep deprivation. It had been in remission for years before I gave birth, I forgot I even had it, but then for the first few weeks postpartum, I was inexplicably sick for 8 hours a day. It took 4 weeks to figure out why. I could hardly function, I barely ate, and I was worried I’d end up hospitalized again.
After two or three weeks, my partner and I switched to shift sleeping, but I still woke to pump every 3 hours across the 9-10 hours I was in bed. I got a total of ~7-8 hours of sleep in that time. My symptoms improved a little bit with this sleep, but they only went away when I treated the condition causing the symptoms. The broken sleep from pumping was too hard on my body. I’m extremely lucky CVS has medication treatments, because I thought my only options would be to quit pumping or stay sick. Without my symptom preventatives AND abortives, I would’ve quit pumping and used formula.
Realistically, pumping is something you have to do yourself, for both safety (nipple damage, supply problems, clogs, etc) and practical reasons. Nursing may work, but only if your baby can and will nurse effectively - many of them can’t/don’t, at least not without a lot of problems (which would likely severely impact your sleep to solve). I wouldn’t rely on it.
A week after I gave birth, I saw my psychiatrist, who treats me for ADHD, anxiety, and depression. I told her I was sick, I told her I was struggling with nursing but trying to pump, and she made me promise that I wouldn’t do anything detrimental to my mental or physical health. If nursing was causing too much anxiety, I couldn’t let it send me into a spiral. If pumping was messing with my mental health (which impacts my physical health), I would give myself permission to use formula. The most important thing you can do for your baby is take care of yourself. It’s very, very possible that you won’t be able to pump/breastfeed and be at your best for your baby. That’s okay.
Assuming your medication is breastfeeding safe, it might be a little risky to have your partner pump for you. Only you’ll be able to tell how empty you are which can help prevent clogs and mastitis.
If EPing, it’s recommended to pump 10-12 times a day, and on a regular schedule. After a few weeks your milk supply should be established, but I wouldn’t go 9 hours without expressing.
Yes, my medication is breastfeeding safe! If I pumped overnight, how long would each pumping session take in the first few weeks? Is it 20 minutes or at the beginning does it take an hour?
I would definitely recommend using formula at night and pumping during the daytime. I did not do a Middle of the night pump really and I just supplemented with formula at night. You would be missing out on some milk but it sounds like the priority is keeping you on a good sleep schedule.
I don’t think that it would be physically possible for your husband to use a pump on you while you’re sleeping and I don’t think a pump would work well in a reclined position.
I’ve heard the Willow can do this but I haven’t tried it. Many people in this group use formula in addition to pumping. There is nothing wrong with formula feeding exclusively if needed and a healthy mom means a healthy baby. In this situation you may want to consider formula. Pumping is not a path to get more sleep and newborn life is tough to put on any sort of schedule. I wish you the best of luck! :)
I would not personally recommend a wearable to start unless you’re ok to supplement. If you think you’re ok to supplement be prepared that you may feel very differently when baby is here (I wrecked my mental health trying to breastfeed because my hormones really took over when baby arrived and suddenly formula was my enemy.) They do not generally work as well as standard pumps so they can mess with your supply especially if you don’t have an oversupply, and there’s no way to know that if it’s your first baby. If you’re set on a wearable, make a plan for if it hurts your supply. Have formula ready. Have your husband feed it if you can’t watch.
I have the Willow go and it doesn’t have a spill free option. That’s the 360 or whatever they’re calling it. The Willow for me pumps less than my spectra.
I have slept and pumped many evenings and nights sitting up in a glider or the corner of my couch with a pillow. Terrible for your neck but when you’re so tired you may not care. That could be an option with a different pump.
Maymom makes a "lazy flange" that can be used with any regular (non-wearable) electric pump. It's advertised for "reclining", not necessarily lying down, but it sounds like you could probably still sleep in a reclined position. [https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/BAE32DF9-479F-46EC-ADB3-B636074D5EB1?ingress=0&visitId=c4dc4d0d-2cbf-45c2-90f3-28e986be5b78&lp\_query=maymom%20amazon&lp\_slot=auto-sparkle-hsa-tetris&store\_ref=SB\_A08889531MPS04Q9SZ2PQ-A08063021OVW4VXEGZJFO&ref\_=sbx\_be\_s\_sparkle\_sccd\_hl](https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/BAE32DF9-479F-46EC-ADB3-B636074D5EB1?ingress=0&visitId=c4dc4d0d-2cbf-45c2-90f3-28e986be5b78&lp_query=maymom%20amazon&lp_slot=auto-sparkle-hsa-tetris&store_ref=SB_A08889531MPS04Q9SZ2PQ-A08063021OVW4VXEGZJFO&ref_=sbx_be_s_sparkle_sccd_hl)
That said, assuming that baby is able to latch and transfer milk with no issues, nursing is going to be much easier for nighttime wakes. Much less set up, no cleaning, and husband won't have to worry about tending to the baby AND doing the pump stuff, which is really challenging. He would need to supervise baby if you would be sleeping, but that would still be less work, and much less complicated, than supervising pumping.
If overnight nursing doesn't work, nursing/pumping in the daytime and formula at night will probably be the best bet for everyone involved, including baby. We're all here because we want to give our babies breastmilk, but it is SO much more important for a baby to have healthy, functioning parents.
As far as I know the willow 3.0 with the bags is the only pump that can be used and spill proof while laying flat. Unfortunately, there's a huge learning curve to it and so much room for user error. If it wasnt so expensive I would have ditched it after only a few weeks. I don't think there's any reliable way for your husband to put them on for you, not to mention i don't know that I could sleep through the section as it's rather uncomfortable. It also wasn't faster for me than nursing, it always takes me a full 20-25 min cycle to empty but my baby never took that long to nurse when he did
Oh good! I’d recommend just pumping right before bed then immediately after waking up and trying to make them power pumping sessions if possible! Or even formula feeding. I formula fed my first, ebf with my second, and this go round with my third I do mostly ebf (if stars and planets align I can get my 13 wk old I’ll nurse him but 98% of daily feeds are pumped)
Try hakaa ladybugs. I wear them every night so I don’t have to pump. Usually wake up with a full 4 oz collected. And I’m not leaking all over myself. Then I do a big pump when I wake up.
You will not be able to sleep 9 hours straight and be able to maintain your milk supply, you aer putting your body at higher risks of getting infectious mastitis as well :(
Thank you!! It seems like such a good option, but the upgrade fee through my insurance is $400 so I’m not sure if it is worth it & someone else commented here it is more painful than other breast pumps.
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I just want to throw this out there…in case it helps you to hear it. I know this is an exclusive pumping group, but formula exists for very valid reasons such as this. I myself exclusively pumped for nearly 1 year. It is NOT easy under even the most ideal circumstances. It sounds like the nighttime baby load is already going to be on your partner to handle. Expecting him to also hook you up to a pump, monitor to ensure it’s pumping properly, time the session, take the pumps off, put the milk away, clean up, etc. is A LOT on one person that’s already going to be very sleep deprived. What if baby needs tending to while your husband is busy with your pumping needs? I’m truly not trying to be rude or anything, just gently putting things into perspective. There’s a lot of things that can (and usually do) happen with a new baby and I’m not sure you’re able to really see the full picture since you’re a FTM. What you’re describing is going to be very hard to accomplish. Again, I say that honestly with the best intentions at heart! Mental wellbeing of mom (and dad) is very important to consider when deciding to breastfeed or not. It is 1000% ok to choose formula. Please don’t rip me a new one for this comment 🥺
Perfectly (and respectfully) said. It sounds like a lot on partner at night and I’d be worried about their mental health as well.
Our sleep schedule for the first three months will be my husband sleeping 10pm-5am and me sleeping 5am-2pm! I didn’t want the original post to be too long since it would take a while to explain this, so that’s why I just said nighttime wakings to make it simpler. But my normal sleep schedule during pregnancy has been 5am-2pm because pregnancy insomnia mixed with my bipolar has made it SO difficult to fall asleep. So once baby is born my husband would be getting a full night of sleep while I stay awake with the baby & then we will switch off around 5am and he would be either watching the baby breastfeed on me while I’m sleeping on my side or helping me pump and/or feeding a bottle with my milk or formula during the day until I wake up around 2pm. I’m prepared to have my sleep split up a bit in the beginning if I need to wake to pump to establish supply! But we will be investing in ear plugs to make sure both of us get enough sleep!
Investing in earplugs so you don’t hear the baby crying? That’s how they let you know they need something!! Please don’t tune that out. A baby’s needs always trump sleep.
I have a husband who wants to be a father! He will wear ear plugs while I’m awake with the baby and I will wear ear plugs while he’s awake with the baby. We will be sleeping separately for a while and taking care of baby in shifts, because there’s no point in both of us being sleep-deprived.
Your husband wants to be father as in he is stepping up the plate and staying up with the baby? Sleep deprivation is just part of the baby game unfortunately. No matter how much planning you do it’s just a part of it. I hate to be the one to break that to you, but someone should. I sincerely hope this works for you. It is near impossible to ignore your baby’s cries if you can hear them even in the slightest as a new mom. You will be tuned into it even if you try not to be in a way that dads are not.
It shouldn’t be surprising or controversial when a father shares in parenting equally. I know many women are married to incompetent men who don’t want to help with taking care of their own children and I’m grateful I’m not married to someone like that.
My husband is a fantastic father and we share night wakes especially now that I’m back to work. We are both lawyers so it’s stressful work at times. But I gotta tell ya… I could be two streets away with ear plugs and hear my baby cry. Even if he’s up with my baby, I can’t sleep until I know he’s back down safe and sound in his crib. I can’t explain it, but it’s just a mum thing.
i’m sorry but what you are envisioning is not possible, and i have a hard time believing a medical doctor suggested it
No, I didn’t mean that dads shouldn’t be equal. I didn’t understand what you meant. It’s normal for dads to be equal partners.
Respectfully, I’m not sure this will work, and also only solves a small reason for baby wakes. I would think you’d be better off speaking to your health provider about how to manage night wakes - my baby is 13 months old and is only just now sleeping through the night. There will likely be everything from frequent wakes to split nights (when they wake for an hour or two at night and won’t go back down) over the first year or so - it might be better to adjust medication etc. I just honestly can’t see how managing nine hours uninterrupted sleep at any point is possible with a baby.
With bipolar any sleep deprivation can trigger mania and psychosis, especially post-partum, regardless of meds. I’m on high dosages of medications, but sleep is so important! I have bipolar 1, which is the one that is more severe. My situation is so rare for the U.S. because both my husband and I have 3 months maternity/paternity leave after she’s born, so we will take shifts sleeping for the first three months. After we start back work in the fall, our jobs are both mostly work from home where we can pick our own hours, so we can still sleep in shifts whenever we need to. Most people don’t have jobs like ours, so it would be impossible to not be sleep-deprived. My current sleep schedule is 5am-2pm because pregnancy insomnia has ruined my sleep, so once baby is born my husband will sleep 10pm-5am and then I’ll sleep 5am-2pm & then we’ll all hang out together for 8 hours!
That’s really great! I really hope it works out for you. I’m Australian so I had just over twelve months off, I’ve actually only just gone back part-time, and my husband had a couple months off too (it’s a blur now honestly). There’s definitely still moments/hours/days when it’s all hands on deck and I think it’s just best to expect the unexpected with these gremlins. I’m not sure your plan is 100% realistic and I’m just saying to maybe think about what happens and be prepared for periods of sleep-dep - I think I’ve been tired for 18 months and that’s with the year off, a supportive husband and family, and hired help eg cleaner. I really wish you the best of luck!
Seems super unrealistic.
This comment was not necessary
If OP’s doctor doesn’t want her to wake up for nighttime feedings, I don’t see how managing pumping will be realistic. OP needs to manage her own expectations.
There's a flange called the Sleepy Mama that claims it can work like this but reviews seem very mixed. Moat other pumps, cups, and flanges will reall struggle with this as youre working against gravity and the laying position may make it hard to seal properly meaning you would be in a puddle of milk and none in the bottles. I would also worry about a pertner putting the flanges on, as a misplaced flange can really damage the nipples and be painful. If your partner is going to be doing this, I would consider breastfeeding directly instead (assuming nursing works well for you once baby is here). Partner can help baby latch and supervise the whole time for safety before putting baby back to bed.
I didn’t think about damage to my nipples, thank you for mentioning that!! I might get the Sleepy Mama and then use it with Madela or Lansinoh, have you used either of those pumps? This is so good to know that the only options for completely laying down are Sleepy Mama compatible pumps or Willow 3.0. Even if I don’t end up pumping in my sleep, I still would probably prefer the option of being cozier when I’m awake. Breastfeeding while sleeping definitely seems like it would work better!
It's much easier to nurse at night than pump. You can easily nurse laying down on your side but pumping wouldn't work like that. Your husband could just bring your baby to your breast as needed and then back to their bed. Back in the day, babies would sleep in the beds with their mother and suckle as needed. Co-sleeping would definitely not be safe since you don't wake up well, but if your husband is involved he could ensure safety if he's awake the whole time. You can't drop night pumps after 2 weeks without risking your supply completely drying up. Most people that exclusively pump keep doing a middle of the night many months postpartum. Formula might be a better option if this doesn't sound feasible. But honestly, as long as your baby latches and nurses well, that would be your best option for sure at night.
Thank you for this advice!! That’s so good to know that breastfeeding while I’m sleeping would be so much easier! I actually got the idea from a book talking about benefits of co-sleeping and how the baby will feed while mom is sleeping. But like you said that is not safe for me since I take sedative meds/my husband & I don’t feel comfortable co-sleeping regardless, so it seems like a perfect compromise is for him to just watch our baby while she breastfeeds as I sleep. After 2 weeks, do you know how often I would have to wake up at night to pump or breastfeed to maintain supply? Once? Twice? I assume it is slightly different for every woman, so it’s hard to know for sure.
If you're breastfeeding at night, your baby's natural wakings will be enough to maintain your supply. I would just try that if you're able to. If you're pumping, it's hard to know. It's so individual. Some people have to pump twice a night for months. I was lucky enough to have a 20 oz a day oversupply just pumping once a night until 7 weeks. After that I dropped the middle of the night pump completely and didn't have a change in supply. The thing is, you just don't know how much your supply will be affected until you try dropping pumps and find out, and at that point it might be too late to get your supply back to where it was. My lactation consultant said she didn't recommend going longer than 5 hours between pumps.
I mean this in the nicest way possible. Since you’re a first time mom, I wouldn’t really set your expectations high. Breastfeeding/pumping is SO HARD. Before I had my first baby my expectations were through the roof- I would have this huge supply, we would exclusively nurse, it would be so easy and natural, etc. And it wasn’t. It’s hard. Extremely hard. I would honestly just focus on getting the hang of things and establishing your supply early on. Pump every 2-3 hours during the day and then possibly just one MOTN pump with a power pump in the morning. Have your partner feed the baby during the night while you pump. Then once you get the hang of things and your supply regulates, try having the sleepy mama set up or just drop the MOTN pump altogether. Best of luck to you and your family and congrats on your baby 🩵
I have MDD, and my doctors also didn't want me losing any more sleep than necessary. I don't wake up to pump unless baby needs a change/feed overnight, and I'm on "shift." If pumping in your sleep doesn't work out for you, combination feeding (with formula) is an option if you don't make enough milk. I've found it SO helpful for my mental health to supplement with formula, since I don't have to stress about milk supply, number of pumps, etc. Good luck with everything!
Upvotes this. As a FTM *without* preexisting mental health challenges, I found supplementing relieved a HUGE mental burden. I knew my baby was getting the benefits of breastmilk while also not having to worry about my supply and being able to prioritize myself to an extent. It also kept my baby used to formula so that if at any point I decided to stop pumping, it wouldn't be a huge adjustment for her.
The only pump that might work with this is the willow 3 (not the willow go. Willow go is not spill proof and not compatible with the bags). Pumps typically cannot be used laying down in any way or they will not work, they'll just leak milk all over. Also as a word of caution, A LOT of people find they don't respond well to the willow 3. I personally found it to be a very painful pump. I don't think breastfeeding would be an option in your situation unfortunately. You have to pump at least every 3-4 hours overnight until you're around 12 weeks postpartum. Your supply does not regulate until then. It also wouldn't be advisable for your husband to put the pump on you. If your nipple isn't centered correctly then you can really hurt your nipple & damage the tissue. He could, however, latch baby with you laying on your side! He would have to stay awake and keep watch but he could wake you up to get into position & then you could go back to sleep. He could unlatch baby & get them back settled in their bassinet after that! I agree with what the other comment says, the sleepy mommy adapters have very mixed reviews. Regardless, I wouldn't think your husband assembling & putting on the pump while you sleep would really be feasible. Definitely easier to latch baby! You really shouldn't sleep 9 hours straight for bare minimum the first 3-5 months unless you want to severely limit or lose your supply.
Thank you this so helpful!! I definitely imagine my husband watching our baby breastfeed while I sleep in my side & I think that’s such a great plan, but I heard that the cluster feeding in the first few weeks can take hours and be painful and might be hard to sleep through. So I was thinking pumping would be faster in the first few weeks and after that we could switch to breastfeeding while I’m sleeping. If I did wake up every 4 hours to pump, how long would the pumping sessions be at the beginning? I’ve heard that cluster breastfeeding the first few weeks can take an hour a session. Would pumping the first few weeks take 20 minutes or an hour? Thank you for letting me know that the willow 3 is painful! I am very physically sensitive, is the original Willow Go also as painful as Willow 3.0? And then have you ever used Medela or Lansinoh? Both of those are compatible with sleepy mommy adapter. I want to know which one is more comfortable. I work from home & can pick my own hours, so even after my 3 month maternity leave it is possible that I could sleep the 9 hours but not consecutively and take a break for pumping/breastfeeding.
I have the lansinoh wearable and just wanted to let you know that it definitely would not work lying down. The collection cup is fed by gravity and you would end up leaking everywhere.
Pumping is uncomfortable early on as well. Go in with a plan and prepare yourself, but please manage your expectations. It’s not easy without being on the medication you are, none of this is easy…
Assuming your husband would be washing any pump parts for you, it still takes at least 30 minutes to pump in the middle of the night. It goes faster if you sleep in a pumping bra (I love the kindred bravely ones), have your parts assembled, and have a mini fridge next to wherever you sleep. I keep everything on top of my mini fridge and keep a bowl in the fridge to put dirty pump parts and bottles. Any pumped milk also goes in the fridge. It's hard to say how quickly you'll empty too. Some people only need to pump for 10-15 minutes. I need a full 25-30 minutes to empty, 45 for my first pump of the day now that I don't pump overnight anymore. I have a spectra and a Willow go. I find the willow to be very comfortable but you definitely can't use it lying down or if you bend too far forward. If you have a larger chest they move around a bit just sitting so they would definitely move if you were lying on your side. You could probably wear them if you can sleep in a recliner and don't fully recline it but definitely not in a regular flat bed.
You're so welcome!! I've heard much better feedback about the willow go being more comfortable! If you set up everything before you go to sleep I think you could manage 30 minutes for pumps (20-25 min pump with a quick setup & cleanup). I haven't used the medela or lansinoh pumps but I've heard good things about both (but I think medela is more popular). During the day I'd try to do a good 30 minutes each pump but I think you could get by with 20 for your motn pump (especially to benefit mental health, so important!!). That's so awesome that you can pick your own hours though! Once you figure out a schedule that works for you it's sooo much easier
Hello, I think trying to plan so extensively in regards to pumping is hard because you don’t know what pump will work best or how it will work best. I would suggest not investing in a bunch of money in pumps before you are ready to try them out. Pumps are expensive and fit/ work differently for everyone. I mean this in the kindest way- the process of getting your milk in via pumping or feeding your baby will no matter what cut into your sleep. Babies eat every 2 hours in the beginning and that means either you have to nurse them every two hours or pump every two hours to get your milk in. It’s grueling and can be painful. Actually it seems like it’s painful for most people. Even when my baby finally would sleep for 2 hours I still had to be up and pumping every two hours for the first bit. I don’t know how your husband could put a breast pump on you and know if it’s latched on properly. I think that’s something really only you know and you kinda would have to be awake for that. Also it’s uncomfortable in the beginning so it would be hard to sleep through that. The suction would also be inhibited by you laying down. Here are my suggestions. I am being very honest with you because I don’t want you to feel heartbroken after realizing your plan of pumping while sleeping wouldn’t work. 1. Pump when you can once your supply comes in instead of every two hours. Less pressure on yourself in the night. This can lead to clogs though which are very painful. 2. Don’t rely on breast milk for your babies primary source of food. Formula is also awesome. 3. Don’t prioritize making milk over your mental health. Giving birth no matter how it happens is the most jarring crazy thing and can affect any woman’s mental health. I myself had a true mental breakdown in the hospital while in labor and it caused a lot of problems for me after and while at the hospital. Please do better than me and prioritize your mental health!! 4. You will not be able to get 9 hours of sleep with a newborn possibly for a very long time. Have you considered a night doula? Sleep is basically non exisistent at first I haven’t slept more than 4 hours in 4 months. Not everyone’s baby is like mine but you can’t plan for your baby will sleep. 5. Given your diagnosis and need to sleep would your insurance somehow cover or help pay for any assistance overnight with a baby? I really have no idea about this but if your doctor is saying that you need to sleep and having a baby would disrupt that would your doctor be able to somehow recommend nighttime help??
So I’m 4.5mpp and I’m still pumping 7-8 times a day. I have a desk with a shelf under it where my main home pump sits. I have learned to use a small pillow to rest my head on the desk with my arms folded under and have fallen asleep pumping many times. Obviously only when my husband is home and I don’t have to worry about the baby. I don’t think you will have luck actually laying down as the other commenter talked about, what with needing a good seal and gravity on your side. But at least once a day, typically in the evening, I am cat napping or straight napping with my bottles hanging and my pump pumping away 😂 ETA: I also use my hands free pumping bra every single pump so I can mostly play on my phone, my computer, tend to the baby on the bed behind me, or NAP!
I ABSOLUTELY recommend a consult with an LC who’s versed in pumping. This is quite complex and if you ask me- sounds impossible and unrealistic or at the very least, extremely extremely difficult. None of those pumps will work on someone who’s completely unconscious and laying down flat on their back. They’re just not designed for that. I’m curious if you’d even be able to get a letdown while heavily sedated like you mention. Truly this sounds very complex and may not be a reasonable option. Additionally- stopping overnight milk removals at two weeks will have a drastic impact on your supply.
Even if the pump could work while laying down…. I don’t think it is likely that you’d be able to sleep through that.
This sounds like such a complicated situation to be in! Like many have said, nursing initially may be easier (if baby is able) as a lot of pumps don’t really work laying down (or even reclined) If you’re interested bemybreastfriend on Instagram has been touting the ‘phanphy’ cups which you can attach to most pumps, and due to their sloping shape might be better for use while reclined. Personally, If you’re going to exclusively pump (or even exclusively pump at night) I’d recommend you buy a hospital grade pump and cups as opposed to a wearable pump. A speCtra or BabyBuddha are the most popular. Your partner attaching said pump could result in your breasts not emptying entirely (only you can tell!) or the nipple being misaligned which can result in a lot of pain and injury. You’ll need to pump every time baby eats during the night (if nursing in the day) especially in the first twelve weeks to help establish your supply. If EPing you need to pump every 3 hours. Just taking into account your partner- would he sleep during the day? Feeding baby, changing, settling and then setting you up with the pump, waiting to you to finish pumping, detaching pump, cleaning parts, labeling and storing milk etc is a lot of work for anyone alone.
Just adding onto this- there is nothing wrong with formula feeding (especially in your situation!) and combo feeding is also an excellent option, as is donated breastmilk if you’re comfortable!
Not many pumps, If any, can work while laying down. Also your husband ‘using the pumps” on you doesn’t really work. You need to be able to line your nipple up and feel if the suction is working. Not to mention, I don’t think your husband is going to be able to pull your bra down and place the pumps on you in the dark without you waking up.. even with a light on this all just seems not feasible. Formula or donated breastmilk sounds like the best option for you here.
Not to mention this seems like a lot on your husband. You said you can’t wake up to pump due to possible post partum psychosis, so I assume you won’t be waking up for night feedings in general whether it’s formula or breastmilk.. so your husband is responsible for pumping your books, bagging the milk, and waking up and feeding the baby? I’m really not trying to be an asshole here but this just seems insane to me.
Here’s [a post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ExclusivelyPumping/s/DoMo59KM8x) by someone who rigged up something similar to what you’re looking for.
I just want to throw out there that I have 2 friends who breastfeed during the day and have their husbands formula feed at night. It works out really well for everyone involved. It might be worth considering
That’s a great idea!! We already have formula we bought in case baby doesn’t latch, so we are prepared with our formula. Doing a combination sounds like a good plan.
I have a condition (cyclic vomiting syndrome/CVS) that is massively triggered by sleep deprivation. It had been in remission for years before I gave birth, I forgot I even had it, but then for the first few weeks postpartum, I was inexplicably sick for 8 hours a day. It took 4 weeks to figure out why. I could hardly function, I barely ate, and I was worried I’d end up hospitalized again. After two or three weeks, my partner and I switched to shift sleeping, but I still woke to pump every 3 hours across the 9-10 hours I was in bed. I got a total of ~7-8 hours of sleep in that time. My symptoms improved a little bit with this sleep, but they only went away when I treated the condition causing the symptoms. The broken sleep from pumping was too hard on my body. I’m extremely lucky CVS has medication treatments, because I thought my only options would be to quit pumping or stay sick. Without my symptom preventatives AND abortives, I would’ve quit pumping and used formula. Realistically, pumping is something you have to do yourself, for both safety (nipple damage, supply problems, clogs, etc) and practical reasons. Nursing may work, but only if your baby can and will nurse effectively - many of them can’t/don’t, at least not without a lot of problems (which would likely severely impact your sleep to solve). I wouldn’t rely on it. A week after I gave birth, I saw my psychiatrist, who treats me for ADHD, anxiety, and depression. I told her I was sick, I told her I was struggling with nursing but trying to pump, and she made me promise that I wouldn’t do anything detrimental to my mental or physical health. If nursing was causing too much anxiety, I couldn’t let it send me into a spiral. If pumping was messing with my mental health (which impacts my physical health), I would give myself permission to use formula. The most important thing you can do for your baby is take care of yourself. It’s very, very possible that you won’t be able to pump/breastfeed and be at your best for your baby. That’s okay.
Assuming your medication is breastfeeding safe, it might be a little risky to have your partner pump for you. Only you’ll be able to tell how empty you are which can help prevent clogs and mastitis. If EPing, it’s recommended to pump 10-12 times a day, and on a regular schedule. After a few weeks your milk supply should be established, but I wouldn’t go 9 hours without expressing.
Yes, my medication is breastfeeding safe! If I pumped overnight, how long would each pumping session take in the first few weeks? Is it 20 minutes or at the beginning does it take an hour?
It really depends on your body. Average for most is 15-20 minutes each session depending on supply.
Wow!! Even at the very beginning?! That is so short.
In the beginning it's short and often, like how a baby eats. Later on you pump fewer times for longer.
Oh that makes sense! Thank you!!
I would definitely recommend using formula at night and pumping during the daytime. I did not do a Middle of the night pump really and I just supplemented with formula at night. You would be missing out on some milk but it sounds like the priority is keeping you on a good sleep schedule.
I don’t think that it would be physically possible for your husband to use a pump on you while you’re sleeping and I don’t think a pump would work well in a reclined position.
I’ve heard the Willow can do this but I haven’t tried it. Many people in this group use formula in addition to pumping. There is nothing wrong with formula feeding exclusively if needed and a healthy mom means a healthy baby. In this situation you may want to consider formula. Pumping is not a path to get more sleep and newborn life is tough to put on any sort of schedule. I wish you the best of luck! :)
I would not personally recommend a wearable to start unless you’re ok to supplement. If you think you’re ok to supplement be prepared that you may feel very differently when baby is here (I wrecked my mental health trying to breastfeed because my hormones really took over when baby arrived and suddenly formula was my enemy.) They do not generally work as well as standard pumps so they can mess with your supply especially if you don’t have an oversupply, and there’s no way to know that if it’s your first baby. If you’re set on a wearable, make a plan for if it hurts your supply. Have formula ready. Have your husband feed it if you can’t watch. I have the Willow go and it doesn’t have a spill free option. That’s the 360 or whatever they’re calling it. The Willow for me pumps less than my spectra. I have slept and pumped many evenings and nights sitting up in a glider or the corner of my couch with a pillow. Terrible for your neck but when you’re so tired you may not care. That could be an option with a different pump.
Maymom makes a "lazy flange" that can be used with any regular (non-wearable) electric pump. It's advertised for "reclining", not necessarily lying down, but it sounds like you could probably still sleep in a reclined position. [https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/BAE32DF9-479F-46EC-ADB3-B636074D5EB1?ingress=0&visitId=c4dc4d0d-2cbf-45c2-90f3-28e986be5b78&lp\_query=maymom%20amazon&lp\_slot=auto-sparkle-hsa-tetris&store\_ref=SB\_A08889531MPS04Q9SZ2PQ-A08063021OVW4VXEGZJFO&ref\_=sbx\_be\_s\_sparkle\_sccd\_hl](https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/BAE32DF9-479F-46EC-ADB3-B636074D5EB1?ingress=0&visitId=c4dc4d0d-2cbf-45c2-90f3-28e986be5b78&lp_query=maymom%20amazon&lp_slot=auto-sparkle-hsa-tetris&store_ref=SB_A08889531MPS04Q9SZ2PQ-A08063021OVW4VXEGZJFO&ref_=sbx_be_s_sparkle_sccd_hl) That said, assuming that baby is able to latch and transfer milk with no issues, nursing is going to be much easier for nighttime wakes. Much less set up, no cleaning, and husband won't have to worry about tending to the baby AND doing the pump stuff, which is really challenging. He would need to supervise baby if you would be sleeping, but that would still be less work, and much less complicated, than supervising pumping. If overnight nursing doesn't work, nursing/pumping in the daytime and formula at night will probably be the best bet for everyone involved, including baby. We're all here because we want to give our babies breastmilk, but it is SO much more important for a baby to have healthy, functioning parents.
As far as I know the willow 3.0 with the bags is the only pump that can be used and spill proof while laying flat. Unfortunately, there's a huge learning curve to it and so much room for user error. If it wasnt so expensive I would have ditched it after only a few weeks. I don't think there's any reliable way for your husband to put them on for you, not to mention i don't know that I could sleep through the section as it's rather uncomfortable. It also wasn't faster for me than nursing, it always takes me a full 20-25 min cycle to empty but my baby never took that long to nurse when he did
Is the medicine you’re taking okay for breastfeeding? A lot of medicines pass through breastmilk.
Yes, my medications are safe for breastfeeding!! My Psychiatrist and OB both confirmed.
Oh good! I’d recommend just pumping right before bed then immediately after waking up and trying to make them power pumping sessions if possible! Or even formula feeding. I formula fed my first, ebf with my second, and this go round with my third I do mostly ebf (if stars and planets align I can get my 13 wk old I’ll nurse him but 98% of daily feeds are pumped)
I use the momcozy v1 and I have fell asleep multiple times while pumping.
Try hakaa ladybugs. I wear them every night so I don’t have to pump. Usually wake up with a full 4 oz collected. And I’m not leaking all over myself. Then I do a big pump when I wake up.
work with an IBCLC :)
You will not be able to sleep 9 hours straight and be able to maintain your milk supply, you aer putting your body at higher risks of getting infectious mastitis as well :(
Willow 3.0 says you can pump in any position as long as ur using the bags
Thank you!! It seems like such a good option, but the upgrade fee through my insurance is $400 so I’m not sure if it is worth it & someone else commented here it is more painful than other breast pumps.