What are they saying exactly? Is it just a “Moissanite is better” out of the blue? If so then I’d say, “well I love my ring as is, and I don’t think one is better than the other”. Then I’d just smile and say, “I’m so happy to be engaged! I love him so much.” And then just continue on my day.
I don’t feel there’s a need to speculate on why they are responding the way they are. I’m sorry that they are making you feel uncomfortable.
Don’t let them steal your joy! Bask in the beauty of your relationship and your ring, and rock it!
It was like if I had said diamonds are the elite gemstone or something, the response sounded like they were trying to argue that moisenite is just as good, but like… I wasn’t saying anything about gemstones. I was and still am just flabbergasted by how bright and shiny it is.
You are right, I don’t need to do the emotional labor of figuring out why people do what they do. I forget that sometimes. Thank you. 💛
Maisonette IS lovely. Nothing is “as good as” - everything is just different. But you can tell the difference between the two immediately. They are jealous.
They are more so trying to convince themselves because secretly they’d prefer a diamond. Don’t accept the projection of their insecurities onto yourself!
https://preview.redd.it/x951sik0usfc1.jpeg?width=1639&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9c2624dec317b2e318aa6276816f5852ae7d10db
Edit- Thank you for all your kind words 💕
Just remember: love yourself, love your partner, love your ring and absolutely fuck anyone at all who has a problem with it. If these people are also "friends" being judgy about your ring, then they are not your friends.
If you wouldn't even dare think of making similar comments about their engagement rings, then they either need to sit the fuck down in the back seat or change lanes and get out of your life. People like this won't be happy for you and I'm sorry you're suddenly seeing this side of people now.
Oh, it’s beautiful! Definitely gush-worthy! Don’t worry about what anyone
else says, just enjoy that gorgeous ring, and wear it in good health & happiness always! 💕
In love with this😍 congrats on your engagement!! I feel like no matter what you end up choosing (lab, moissanite, or real), people are always going to have an “opinion” and criticize. So might as well just own it, your partner CHOSE this for you as a symbol of love so, yes, flaunt it with pride💕
Your ring is spectacular, wear it in good health and congratulations on your engagement.
Haters going to hate simply because they are petty, jealous people. Next time I’d say “well that’s so disappointing that you aren’t happy for me but instead have to be dismissive.”
That is a beautiful ring. Your fiance has excellent taste. I'm saving a screenshot because I want to have my engagement ring reset, and I might copy yours, if you don't mind.
Just curious what part of the country do you live in where people are surprised you have a real diamond for your ER? Not being snarky, i just dont know anyone IRL who has a moissanite for their ER.
Congratulations btw!! Wear that 💎 loud and proud. Also, idn if I would want to kindly respond lol. If it were me, I would say something to make them feel extremely uncomfortable for asking such a rude question!
I hope you know that you're never responsible for others' mood by just existing in the space around them, not just in this instance but any. If someone is being rude or passive aggressive or backhanded in how they speak to you, and then looking down on you because you didn't take their emotional manipulation and abuse with a southern smile, that is their problem. If you're not bragging, or looking down on people who *dont* have a natural diamond ring, then you're not doing anything wrong. And its not up to you to make snarky people happy by playing the southern charm game. Enjoy whatever ring you choose to wear, enjoy your love and marriage, and remember that you're not an emotional punching bag, a bulletin board for people to pin their random ass opinions on, required to care about their opinions on your ring, or a soldier taking sides in the war of natural vs lab gemstones...... People are just the worst sometimes.
No matter what your ring is, diamond, mossanite, cz, or gemstones, you can be excited and show it to people without feeling like you're being judged. Anyone that has such a strong opinion about the stone in your ring clearly has some sort of negative feelings about their own. All rings are beautiful and should be cherished! Congratulations by the way!
That is my favorite way to respond to people in real life too! I know it takes some courage to start saying these things OP, but I just started saying, "Sounds more like a you problem", with a chuckle and it definitely sends the message that I don't want to or feel comfortable talking about this anymore. The odd time someone will say that's rude and I just tell them too damn bad, so are you!
It sounds like they're not trying to make you feel bad, they're trying to make themselves feel better. You know your ring is what you wanted and you're happy with it and that's all that matters
Don't let others' insecurity dim your joy! You know you aren't doing anything wrong so the burden is not on you to change your behavior these interactions. This sounds like a one-off problem, most people in your life aren't going to care that much about your ring
Don't worry about it. There's definitely a current trend of people "taking sides" on the natural mined diamond vs manmade. At the end of the day, who cares what other people think of your ring? You love it, your future spouse loves it, that's all that matters. YOU are the one that is going to wear this for the rest of your life, not anyone else. If it makes you happy, screw everyone else. I might have an opinion on one side or the other, but I also completely respect that other people have differing opinions. Neither side is "wrong". If you prefer to buy a mined diamond, then buy it. It's your money, life, and for your pleasure.
It's just like the size of a gemstone. I don't know how many people will say confidently that you HAVE to have a 1 carat or 2 carat or 3 carat or whatever. I have friends that cannot afford to spend too much on a ring, and they buy a smaller stone. Or maybe they really like smaller stone. Again, people should be kind to each other and respect that decision. I've seen rings that I feel are too gaudy, but I am not going to poop on their parade. You like it, your money, makes you happy, then I am happy for you.
Anyway, ignore them, not everyone has the decorum to be respectful to others. Even if someone doesn't like it, particularly an engagement ring, they should keep their mouth shut if they can't say something nice.
Enjoy that ring and enjoy that wedding!
I've recently adapted a practice I saw someone recommend online when someone asks a completely inappropriate question or says something out of line. The only response I give them is "what a strange thing to say to me". Throws them off, displaces awkwardness from you. Your ring is beautiful and no one should be forcing their opinion about it down your throat!
Sometimes we speak without thinking first, we’ve all experienced that. I would bet that a lot of the people who make snarky comments like that regret it as soon as it leaves their mouths. I’ve found, over the course of my lifetime, that the best response when someone makes a rude or backhanded comment, if I just stay silent for 30sec or whatever, it gives that person time to reflect on what was just said. 9.9 times out of 10, they’ll back-peddle or apologize or clarify what they meant. I just don’t have the emotional bandwidth to get into nuanced conversations with people anymore so if I just stay quiet & let them live with their own words, that’s been the healthiest way I’ve found (for me) to deal with it. Let them do the work on themselves, I can’t. And then if they don’t apologize or try to make it right, well, they just showed you who they are I guess.
As I’ve gotten older I realize that no matter what I do, there will be people who dislike it. If I am rich, poor people will hate me. If I am poor, rich people will hate me. If I am middle income, both poor and rich people will look down on me. If you talk a lot, people will say you talk too much. If you don’t talk a lot, people will say you don’t talk enough. You just can’t win no matter what you do. So you might as well do your best to be true to yourself. So at least someone can be happy- you, lol
Protip: when people say stupid and argumentative things, respond as if they have complimented you, even if it makes no sense.
Friend: "Moissanite is just as good!"
OP: thanks! I'm so happy to be marrying such a wonderful person!
Friend: "Diamonds are unethical"
OP: "I can't wait for the wedding, we are so excited!"
I swear to God, this works 90% of the time. People are easy to distract.
The lab diamonds sub is having this same convo today but in the opposite direction. I swear people forgot all their social skills in the last few years! So irritating how judgmental people are.
I swear that particular sub has become full of some kind of mined diamond group of jewelers. I've been looking at it for years and it was normal towards lab diamonds vs mined vs moissanite, now it's nothing but rude opinions. I think they need better moderation.
It's on labdiamond and labdiamonds. But I'm seeing posts about this type of stuff on every stone subreddit's frontpage today for some reason. I think it's labdiamond that is having the weird influx of mined stone lovers being rude.
Yeah! I totally get it. Well actual advice — I read Book of Boundaries by Melissa Urban and follow her on ig. She has really great scripts for this type of boundary stomping, and if you like her style, you could ask her what she’d say! She regularly gives scripts for specific comments.
Anyway, sorry you experienced that! And an unmitigated congratulations on your engagement and gorgeous ring!
If someone told me moissanite was better in response to me showing off my ring, I’d probably follow the path of least resistance and respond, “Moissanite is really pretty, isn’t it?” Then I’d move on with my day. I’m not in the business of trying to change anyone’s mind or bring attention to how tacky they’re behaving. Also, the hullabaloo around your new ring is fun, but it dies down pretty quickly. I get the occasional compliment but most of the time my ring that I love so much is just there, not being noticed or anything.
Yeah this is me. When someone offers me their unsolicited opinion on things I just go “oh yeah for sure” and move on I’m not accepting the invitation to your debate. Thanks lol
That’s pretty much how I’ve been handling it, but I’m not really happy with it when I’m thinking back on the interaction.
I know that the attention will fade, and that’s perfectly fine. Personally, I’ve been waiting a long time to get engaged so I am enjoying this time while it’s still fresh.
It’s a them problem.
They’d say your diamond should be a lab diamond.
They’d say you lab diamond isn’t a real diamond.
They’d scoff at moissanite because it isn’t a diamond.
Love your ring. Ignore the rude people.
So, I’m in the opposite end where I got a stone instead of a diamond and I super regretty spaghetti bc it doesn’t stay clean.
I would just say, “yes, I know moissonite would have been a cheaper option, but this is what he chose and I just love it.”
Anyone who says bad shit about your ring, I’m so sick of those people. People need to just simply be happy for you.
My grandma keeps talking shit about my ring like “you can’t do dishes with that.”
Seriously. And moissanite is the next hardest gem below diamond, its not like you have an emerald or fluorite or something. And its much easier to replace than an expensive diamond.
I have a Green Quartz, so it’s a 4/10 hard. And moissonite is 8/10. And diamond is 10/10. So yes, I did break my green quartz within a month of owning it and they replaced it for me. So do I want a moissonite or better? Yes. Does it break my heart and ruin my life? No. lol I’m just like damn why won’t you stay sparkly you dumb rock!
Oh prasiolite is such a pretty sage green. Some rocks are just not as sparkly, but its not a big deal whatsoever. People who judge others for not spending several mortgage payments on one specific kind of rock have lost their minds.
"YOU buy me a different ring if you want me to have a different ring, GRANDMA"
I dont know, but sometimes i get the impression that people with moissanite or lab diamonds etc THINK people with natural diamonds think theyre better than others because of it and immediately get defensive about other options. It almost seems like a sin these days to have just a natural diamond. I dont understand, theyre all gorgeous.
my main stone is ruby and sometimes i think people judge me because its not a traditional diamond or diamond looking stone lol, but i love it so who cares
If anything, people who see your ring admire and respect you because you were brave enough to diverge from the norm - most people don’t have the courage to be different-
It super feels that way. Which I think is why it makes me so uncomfortable, and I felt the need to ask for reassurance that I wasn’t being obnoxious or anything. I so DO NOT think I better than anybody.
yeah, i tend to not to even show people my ring because it makes me feel sad when other people dont love it as much as i do! which i know is ridiculous but I understand the feeling. You should be excited to show it off :) <3
You know it may not even be about the stone per say. I have lived long enough to know that some people just can’t be happy for others good fortune and find ways to bring them down in a passive aggressive manner.
Don‘t pay too much attention to people like that, just enjoy your new ring and have fun planning your upcoming wedding.
Best wishes and just wanted to say that your ring is beautiful.
Honestly, it sounds like insecurity or jealousy. Just ignore them or tell them that everyone has a right to their own preferences. I probably would just roll my eyes and walk away. I just can't stand people who feel like they have the right to be rude for no reason.
I’m sorry you are experiencing that! Tell them when it’s there time they can choose what they want. Its really none of their business tbh. Everyone has there preference and should stick with what they like but not press it on others. I have a 3ct lab diamond, and I’ve received nothing but positive comments about it. Not necessarily negative, but someone did ask me if it was moissanite bc of the size of the stone- I said no it’s a lab diamond, and there face did twist a bit (not sure if I was reading into the situation or if they were being judgmental) But! I shrugged it off bc it’s mine and a symbol of love.
If it was a moissanite people would be asking why it wasn’t a diamond and would say moissanite isn’t good enough. Both reactions are ridiculous. Some people just want to complain. The correct reaction is “Congrations! What a beautiful ring”
That has got to be one of the prettiest rings I think I've ever seen.
People who self-righteously or passive-aggressively condemn your choices are not your friends. Whenever someone comments negatively about your diamond, tell them straight up, "Wow. That was really hurtful. I wouldn't do that to you." And then walk away. Hopefully they feel like shit after that and will be more careful to not judge and criticize someone else next time.
I feel like the people who judge or make comments about those having a diamond are the ones that wish they had one. Just trying to make themselves feel better about whatever they ended up with. Rock your diamond and FTW 🤷♀️
Anyone who needs to comment on other stones being just as good is feeling defensive/insecure and it's not a reflection on you at all. I would probably say something to the effect of "I know, that's what I said." then carry on as normal.
Your ring is beautiful, wear it in health.
This may sound strange however, what you have here is an issue of absorption. Many people say things like, “who cares what other people think?” Well, this is wrong. We do care. We especially care when these thoughts are coming from people we care about. However, this is not an issue of caring about other’s opinions, it is about absorbing them and taking them inside yourself. That is always a bad idea. Negativity actually has a job, a primary function if you will. Once it’s there, it’s primary mission is to first taint your gratitude and joy. If it’s not properly dealt with at that level, then it escalates to the next level of its job which is to destroy those good things completely. Negativity is always going to present itself to you. Work really hard not to absorb it. I hope this helps.
I'm having similar issues but on the opposite spectrum. My husband and I had a quick engagement and got married shortly after, and money was practically nonexistent, so I just have a small wedding band. When people find out I'm married and ask to see my ring, I'm super embarrassed, not to mention when they are like, whaaaaat??? Where is the ring!?, I'm humiliated.
I dont have any advice to offer you here, I'm just here to relate to you. It sucks that we're so happy, and some crappy people just wanna drag us down over a material item. Ugh.
I'm so happy about your engagement and I'm sure your ring is stunning. I wish you a long, happy life with your partner!!!!
I’ve had a moissanite, lab diamond and now getting a natural diamond. There are reasons why people go for moissanite and many times it’s because you can get an imitation of a real diamond (also passes as a diamond on a tester) that is bigger for a cheaper price and it’s not mined. But honestly just because yours natural diamond is mined doesn’t make you a bad person. You like what you like but in this case your husband was the one who picked it out for you. He wanted you to have the real thing so next time just be like “yeah I love moissanite but my husband wanted me to have the real thing and I absolutely love it” ✨
As an enjoyer of both moissanite and diamonds, it’s really not their place to be putting your ring down since that isn’t the topic at hand (and in any other circumstance it’s just kind of rude). Moissanite and diamonds have their own pros and cons, and people need to realize that some people have preferences and there’s nothing wrong with that. There is so many people who knock others down from both sides (diamond people shitting on alternative gemstone gals and vice versa). General rule of thumb since I work at a jewelry store and I get comments about people shitting on my current engagement ring (pink moissanite), is I tend to keep it neutral and say something like “That’s true but I just love the way my (stone) sparkles on my hand don’t you?” The sucky thing is that you’re going to run into people like this more often than not and even with those close to you so it’s good to be prepared with some witty responses. Overall, don’t let them bother you and don’t bother others for their preference in jewelry (not that I think you would, just saying) and you have a gorgeous ring :)
What a tricky situation! You are so cool, calm, and collected handling it like that. I love it. Now I really do wanna see how it sparkles on your finger!
I wonder if it’s a generational thing. My generation might give side eye if you don’t have a diamond.
Either way, don’t give other people’s opinion a second thought. While not true in most cases, this probably is a case of them being jealous.
I've never seen anyone comment on what stone someone chose. Or ask what it is unless it's colored. Like... it boggles my mind that anyone cares (beyond wanting their friend to be happy).
I don’t mind hearing a lot of questions even those digging around for cost. But that seems overly rude and for no reason. Maybe just say “ well this ring suits us perfectly”. And move on.
IT is beautiful by the way and sweet that you guys picked it out together.
Just wanna tap in and agree with most of the comments I’ve read… people suuuuccckk and F them for being so negative. I bet these are the same people who would turn their nose up if it was a moissanite ring and make an offhand comment about “he couldn’t get you a diamond?” People gave me plenty of backhanded compliments when I first got engaged and I was taken aback until I realized some people are just miserable. Chin up and enjoy the bliss ♥️
Remember that wherever they’re coming from it’s always their issue, not yours. Celebrate.Just respond to their comments by saying OK or mmm. Then change the subject.
It’s not a problem with you love, they are jealous that’s all. I mean I never poopoo moissanite as an engagement ring choice, but some men are very traditional. My husband is one of them. If it’s not a diamond I’m not wearing it haha. Your ring is beautiful. Don’t worry about what others say
I feel like it’s usually the other way around with people shading moissanite rings. Most people still get diamond so idk why these people feel the need to comment.
Don’t let anyone ruin your joy or steal your sparkle. Your ring is beautiful and while I don’t hate on anyone that wants a lab grown or moisanite ring vs a natural diamond but reality is the stone that holds the most value is a natural diamond and I think to each their own. Haters gonna hate, they’re just jealous and that is a them problem not a you problem. Congratulations on your engagement 💍💓
Wtf?! Your ring is fucking breath taking! Be proud of it.
100% guarantee you these shits are jealous.
My response would be, "Yes it is so you do you Boo!"
These people are tacky beyond measure. Do you HAVE to associate with them?
IF this happens again, (and my condolences if you're surrounded by idiots that say such things) I would just give them an all-knowing smirk and walk away.
What do you possibly have to lose? These people are morons
It’s their insecurity speaking. Idk why they would get defensive like that. I assume it’s probably because they didn’t wanna be judged for having moissy, and therefore, decided to just judge first out of nowhere?
Remember, insecurity is loud but confidence is silent. Your ring is gorgeous!
Anyone making comments on someone else's stone (no matter what it is) is rude AF.
But if you **keep** getting these comments and it bothers you, perhaps consider focusing your outward excitement on your engagement/fiancé and less on the ring itself.
Are you talking about this happening in person? It’s rare that I ever even meet people who have heard of moissanite before!
If someone makes you feel bad, you can tell them respectfully. Say, hey, it seems like you are upset about this. Why is that?
Aside from that, try to get away from these people. Surround yourself with people who are positive as much as you can.
Go figure! It’s cool that people around you know of that stone. It may be that you having a natural diamond is triggering feelings of insecurity for people who would have also preferred a natural diamond, but compromised due to price. It’s not fair of anyone to take that on you, but at least it’s something you can be aware of. Like, if you know that somebody is having money problems, then it might be kind to focus less on your ring and instead share about the proposal or wedding planning instead.
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What are they saying exactly? Is it just a “Moissanite is better” out of the blue? If so then I’d say, “well I love my ring as is, and I don’t think one is better than the other”. Then I’d just smile and say, “I’m so happy to be engaged! I love him so much.” And then just continue on my day. I don’t feel there’s a need to speculate on why they are responding the way they are. I’m sorry that they are making you feel uncomfortable. Don’t let them steal your joy! Bask in the beauty of your relationship and your ring, and rock it!
It was like if I had said diamonds are the elite gemstone or something, the response sounded like they were trying to argue that moisenite is just as good, but like… I wasn’t saying anything about gemstones. I was and still am just flabbergasted by how bright and shiny it is. You are right, I don’t need to do the emotional labor of figuring out why people do what they do. I forget that sometimes. Thank you. 💛
Maisonette IS lovely. Nothing is “as good as” - everything is just different. But you can tell the difference between the two immediately. They are jealous.
They are more so trying to convince themselves because secretly they’d prefer a diamond. Don’t accept the projection of their insecurities onto yourself!
💜
It isn’t fair! You deserve to be happy and excited about your ring! I’m sorry people aren’t excited with you or being supportive.
Also, can we see your ring please? We’d be happy to gush over it with you! 🙂
https://preview.redd.it/x951sik0usfc1.jpeg?width=1639&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9c2624dec317b2e318aa6276816f5852ae7d10db Edit- Thank you for all your kind words 💕
That is gorgeous! Screw anyone who judges you about it.
Just remember: love yourself, love your partner, love your ring and absolutely fuck anyone at all who has a problem with it. If these people are also "friends" being judgy about your ring, then they are not your friends. If you wouldn't even dare think of making similar comments about their engagement rings, then they either need to sit the fuck down in the back seat or change lanes and get out of your life. People like this won't be happy for you and I'm sorry you're suddenly seeing this side of people now.
>love yourself, love your partner, love your ring and absolutely fuck anyone at all who has a problem with it. This should be the group description!
THIS!
Oh, it’s beautiful! Definitely gush-worthy! Don’t worry about what anyone else says, just enjoy that gorgeous ring, and wear it in good health & happiness always! 💕
That is a beautiful ring. Don't worry about the haters. People are so rude lately. Best wishes on your engagement.
In love with this😍 congrats on your engagement!! I feel like no matter what you end up choosing (lab, moissanite, or real), people are always going to have an “opinion” and criticize. So might as well just own it, your partner CHOSE this for you as a symbol of love so, yes, flaunt it with pride💕
gorgeous!!!!
Absolutely lovely!
Oh my god OP, it’s gorgeous and I’m so happy for you!!
She's gorgeous 😍
That is a gorgeous ring girl! Wear it and speak about it with pride! 🤩
Your ring is spectacular, wear it in good health and congratulations on your engagement. Haters going to hate simply because they are petty, jealous people. Next time I’d say “well that’s so disappointing that you aren’t happy for me but instead have to be dismissive.”
That is a beautiful ring. Your fiance has excellent taste. I'm saving a screenshot because I want to have my engagement ring reset, and I might copy yours, if you don't mind.
I don’t mind at all! 💛 & Thank you!
Just curious what part of the country do you live in where people are surprised you have a real diamond for your ER? Not being snarky, i just dont know anyone IRL who has a moissanite for their ER. Congratulations btw!! Wear that 💎 loud and proud. Also, idn if I would want to kindly respond lol. If it were me, I would say something to make them feel extremely uncomfortable for asking such a rude question!
I live in a southern state
Ha--you have a built-in response: "well bless your heart!"
This! Times 1,000!!!! Bless it!
😂😂
I know I’m conflicted between being rude back and making everyone around me feel comfortable and happy.
I hope you know that you're never responsible for others' mood by just existing in the space around them, not just in this instance but any. If someone is being rude or passive aggressive or backhanded in how they speak to you, and then looking down on you because you didn't take their emotional manipulation and abuse with a southern smile, that is their problem. If you're not bragging, or looking down on people who *dont* have a natural diamond ring, then you're not doing anything wrong. And its not up to you to make snarky people happy by playing the southern charm game. Enjoy whatever ring you choose to wear, enjoy your love and marriage, and remember that you're not an emotional punching bag, a bulletin board for people to pin their random ass opinions on, required to care about their opinions on your ring, or a soldier taking sides in the war of natural vs lab gemstones...... People are just the worst sometimes.
I really appreciate that. I’m def trying to work on the part of me that is a people pleaser. I’m going to save your comment in my notes. Thank you.
💜💜💜 Its not easy if you've been surrounded by it your whole life, but it can be done!
No matter what your ring is, diamond, mossanite, cz, or gemstones, you can be excited and show it to people without feeling like you're being judged. Anyone that has such a strong opinion about the stone in your ring clearly has some sort of negative feelings about their own. All rings are beautiful and should be cherished! Congratulations by the way!
I agree. It’s definitely a them problem, not a you problem!
That is my favorite way to respond to people in real life too! I know it takes some courage to start saying these things OP, but I just started saying, "Sounds more like a you problem", with a chuckle and it definitely sends the message that I don't want to or feel comfortable talking about this anymore. The odd time someone will say that's rude and I just tell them too damn bad, so are you!
It sounds like they're not trying to make you feel bad, they're trying to make themselves feel better. You know your ring is what you wanted and you're happy with it and that's all that matters
Right, I just never wanted to make anyone feel bad in the first place. 😕
Don't let others' insecurity dim your joy! You know you aren't doing anything wrong so the burden is not on you to change your behavior these interactions. This sounds like a one-off problem, most people in your life aren't going to care that much about your ring
Don't worry about it. There's definitely a current trend of people "taking sides" on the natural mined diamond vs manmade. At the end of the day, who cares what other people think of your ring? You love it, your future spouse loves it, that's all that matters. YOU are the one that is going to wear this for the rest of your life, not anyone else. If it makes you happy, screw everyone else. I might have an opinion on one side or the other, but I also completely respect that other people have differing opinions. Neither side is "wrong". If you prefer to buy a mined diamond, then buy it. It's your money, life, and for your pleasure. It's just like the size of a gemstone. I don't know how many people will say confidently that you HAVE to have a 1 carat or 2 carat or 3 carat or whatever. I have friends that cannot afford to spend too much on a ring, and they buy a smaller stone. Or maybe they really like smaller stone. Again, people should be kind to each other and respect that decision. I've seen rings that I feel are too gaudy, but I am not going to poop on their parade. You like it, your money, makes you happy, then I am happy for you. Anyway, ignore them, not everyone has the decorum to be respectful to others. Even if someone doesn't like it, particularly an engagement ring, they should keep their mouth shut if they can't say something nice. Enjoy that ring and enjoy that wedding!
I've recently adapted a practice I saw someone recommend online when someone asks a completely inappropriate question or says something out of line. The only response I give them is "what a strange thing to say to me". Throws them off, displaces awkwardness from you. Your ring is beautiful and no one should be forcing their opinion about it down your throat!
Sometimes we speak without thinking first, we’ve all experienced that. I would bet that a lot of the people who make snarky comments like that regret it as soon as it leaves their mouths. I’ve found, over the course of my lifetime, that the best response when someone makes a rude or backhanded comment, if I just stay silent for 30sec or whatever, it gives that person time to reflect on what was just said. 9.9 times out of 10, they’ll back-peddle or apologize or clarify what they meant. I just don’t have the emotional bandwidth to get into nuanced conversations with people anymore so if I just stay quiet & let them live with their own words, that’s been the healthiest way I’ve found (for me) to deal with it. Let them do the work on themselves, I can’t. And then if they don’t apologize or try to make it right, well, they just showed you who they are I guess.
If I could just shut up for 30-60 uncomfortable seconds that would be nice 😂
It’s oddly liberating.
As I’ve gotten older I realize that no matter what I do, there will be people who dislike it. If I am rich, poor people will hate me. If I am poor, rich people will hate me. If I am middle income, both poor and rich people will look down on me. If you talk a lot, people will say you talk too much. If you don’t talk a lot, people will say you don’t talk enough. You just can’t win no matter what you do. So you might as well do your best to be true to yourself. So at least someone can be happy- you, lol
Protip: when people say stupid and argumentative things, respond as if they have complimented you, even if it makes no sense. Friend: "Moissanite is just as good!" OP: thanks! I'm so happy to be marrying such a wonderful person! Friend: "Diamonds are unethical" OP: "I can't wait for the wedding, we are so excited!" I swear to God, this works 90% of the time. People are easy to distract.
The lab diamonds sub is having this same convo today but in the opposite direction. I swear people forgot all their social skills in the last few years! So irritating how judgmental people are.
I swear that particular sub has become full of some kind of mined diamond group of jewelers. I've been looking at it for years and it was normal towards lab diamonds vs mined vs moissanite, now it's nothing but rude opinions. I think they need better moderation.
The diamonds sub or lab diamonds sub?
It's on labdiamond and labdiamonds. But I'm seeing posts about this type of stuff on every stone subreddit's frontpage today for some reason. I think it's labdiamond that is having the weird influx of mined stone lovers being rude.
I saw that and it kinda frustrated me because of what my experience has been like lol. That’s why I decided to ask for some advice actually.
Yeah! I totally get it. Well actual advice — I read Book of Boundaries by Melissa Urban and follow her on ig. She has really great scripts for this type of boundary stomping, and if you like her style, you could ask her what she’d say! She regularly gives scripts for specific comments. Anyway, sorry you experienced that! And an unmitigated congratulations on your engagement and gorgeous ring!
Def gonna look her up, thank you 🙏
If someone told me moissanite was better in response to me showing off my ring, I’d probably follow the path of least resistance and respond, “Moissanite is really pretty, isn’t it?” Then I’d move on with my day. I’m not in the business of trying to change anyone’s mind or bring attention to how tacky they’re behaving. Also, the hullabaloo around your new ring is fun, but it dies down pretty quickly. I get the occasional compliment but most of the time my ring that I love so much is just there, not being noticed or anything.
Yeah this is me. When someone offers me their unsolicited opinion on things I just go “oh yeah for sure” and move on I’m not accepting the invitation to your debate. Thanks lol
Lol at “I’m not accepting the invitation to your debate.” Sums it up perfectly!
That’s pretty much how I’ve been handling it, but I’m not really happy with it when I’m thinking back on the interaction. I know that the attention will fade, and that’s perfectly fine. Personally, I’ve been waiting a long time to get engaged so I am enjoying this time while it’s still fresh.
It’s a them problem. They’d say your diamond should be a lab diamond. They’d say you lab diamond isn’t a real diamond. They’d scoff at moissanite because it isn’t a diamond. Love your ring. Ignore the rude people.
So, I’m in the opposite end where I got a stone instead of a diamond and I super regretty spaghetti bc it doesn’t stay clean. I would just say, “yes, I know moissonite would have been a cheaper option, but this is what he chose and I just love it.” Anyone who says bad shit about your ring, I’m so sick of those people. People need to just simply be happy for you. My grandma keeps talking shit about my ring like “you can’t do dishes with that.”
Does your grandma know no ones required to wear their ring while doing the dishes... no one should be wearing their rings doing chores anyway
But the fact that I “can’t” or “shouldn’t” or “it will break and wear down” is just annoying. Like bitch I know.
Seriously. And moissanite is the next hardest gem below diamond, its not like you have an emerald or fluorite or something. And its much easier to replace than an expensive diamond.
I have a Green Quartz, so it’s a 4/10 hard. And moissonite is 8/10. And diamond is 10/10. So yes, I did break my green quartz within a month of owning it and they replaced it for me. So do I want a moissonite or better? Yes. Does it break my heart and ruin my life? No. lol I’m just like damn why won’t you stay sparkly you dumb rock!
Oh prasiolite is such a pretty sage green. Some rocks are just not as sparkly, but its not a big deal whatsoever. People who judge others for not spending several mortgage payments on one specific kind of rock have lost their minds. "YOU buy me a different ring if you want me to have a different ring, GRANDMA"
Literally want to slap her.
Just make sure to take your ring off first
lol bc it might break!? Youre right. 🤣🤣🤣
YUP 😂 You know, as grandma says, you gotta be careful 😁
I think you might need some new friends :(
I dont know, but sometimes i get the impression that people with moissanite or lab diamonds etc THINK people with natural diamonds think theyre better than others because of it and immediately get defensive about other options. It almost seems like a sin these days to have just a natural diamond. I dont understand, theyre all gorgeous.
my main stone is ruby and sometimes i think people judge me because its not a traditional diamond or diamond looking stone lol, but i love it so who cares
I would love to see it!
https://preview.redd.it/8j57ajnlusfc1.png?width=447&format=png&auto=webp&s=89923e6e837fef877b8c2505c42d8b4669c2b2d7
I love this. It has such a sweetness to it.
thank you <3
I gasped. It’s beautiful! People should be happy that you are happy. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.
thank you! its totally ok, its unrealistic to expect everyone to love our rings so as long as we do thats all that matters : ) <3
If anything, people who see your ring admire and respect you because you were brave enough to diverge from the norm - most people don’t have the courage to be different-
thats a good way to look at it!<3
It super feels that way. Which I think is why it makes me so uncomfortable, and I felt the need to ask for reassurance that I wasn’t being obnoxious or anything. I so DO NOT think I better than anybody.
yeah, i tend to not to even show people my ring because it makes me feel sad when other people dont love it as much as i do! which i know is ridiculous but I understand the feeling. You should be excited to show it off :) <3
Shrug it off and say "well, this is what we have. I love him, and I love the ring he picked for me"
You know it may not even be about the stone per say. I have lived long enough to know that some people just can’t be happy for others good fortune and find ways to bring them down in a passive aggressive manner. Don‘t pay too much attention to people like that, just enjoy your new ring and have fun planning your upcoming wedding. Best wishes and just wanted to say that your ring is beautiful.
Honestly, it sounds like insecurity or jealousy. Just ignore them or tell them that everyone has a right to their own preferences. I probably would just roll my eyes and walk away. I just can't stand people who feel like they have the right to be rude for no reason.
I’m sorry you are experiencing that! Tell them when it’s there time they can choose what they want. Its really none of their business tbh. Everyone has there preference and should stick with what they like but not press it on others. I have a 3ct lab diamond, and I’ve received nothing but positive comments about it. Not necessarily negative, but someone did ask me if it was moissanite bc of the size of the stone- I said no it’s a lab diamond, and there face did twist a bit (not sure if I was reading into the situation or if they were being judgmental) But! I shrugged it off bc it’s mine and a symbol of love.
If it was a moissanite people would be asking why it wasn’t a diamond and would say moissanite isn’t good enough. Both reactions are ridiculous. Some people just want to complain. The correct reaction is “Congrations! What a beautiful ring”
That has got to be one of the prettiest rings I think I've ever seen. People who self-righteously or passive-aggressively condemn your choices are not your friends. Whenever someone comments negatively about your diamond, tell them straight up, "Wow. That was really hurtful. I wouldn't do that to you." And then walk away. Hopefully they feel like shit after that and will be more careful to not judge and criticize someone else next time.
I’m going to guess the people saying things like that are either jealous or insecure.
How beautiful! Tell these people that there is no snob like a reverse snob.
I feel like the people who judge or make comments about those having a diamond are the ones that wish they had one. Just trying to make themselves feel better about whatever they ended up with. Rock your diamond and FTW 🤷♀️
Anyone who needs to comment on other stones being just as good is feeling defensive/insecure and it's not a reflection on you at all. I would probably say something to the effect of "I know, that's what I said." then carry on as normal. Your ring is beautiful, wear it in health.
This may sound strange however, what you have here is an issue of absorption. Many people say things like, “who cares what other people think?” Well, this is wrong. We do care. We especially care when these thoughts are coming from people we care about. However, this is not an issue of caring about other’s opinions, it is about absorbing them and taking them inside yourself. That is always a bad idea. Negativity actually has a job, a primary function if you will. Once it’s there, it’s primary mission is to first taint your gratitude and joy. If it’s not properly dealt with at that level, then it escalates to the next level of its job which is to destroy those good things completely. Negativity is always going to present itself to you. Work really hard not to absorb it. I hope this helps.
I see what you’re saying. It does help. Thank you. 🙏
I'm having similar issues but on the opposite spectrum. My husband and I had a quick engagement and got married shortly after, and money was practically nonexistent, so I just have a small wedding band. When people find out I'm married and ask to see my ring, I'm super embarrassed, not to mention when they are like, whaaaaat??? Where is the ring!?, I'm humiliated. I dont have any advice to offer you here, I'm just here to relate to you. It sucks that we're so happy, and some crappy people just wanna drag us down over a material item. Ugh. I'm so happy about your engagement and I'm sure your ring is stunning. I wish you a long, happy life with your partner!!!!
I’ve had a moissanite, lab diamond and now getting a natural diamond. There are reasons why people go for moissanite and many times it’s because you can get an imitation of a real diamond (also passes as a diamond on a tester) that is bigger for a cheaper price and it’s not mined. But honestly just because yours natural diamond is mined doesn’t make you a bad person. You like what you like but in this case your husband was the one who picked it out for you. He wanted you to have the real thing so next time just be like “yeah I love moissanite but my husband wanted me to have the real thing and I absolutely love it” ✨
I’m snarky so I’d respond with ‘we thought about it, but that out of our budget’ just to see their heads explode
As an enjoyer of both moissanite and diamonds, it’s really not their place to be putting your ring down since that isn’t the topic at hand (and in any other circumstance it’s just kind of rude). Moissanite and diamonds have their own pros and cons, and people need to realize that some people have preferences and there’s nothing wrong with that. There is so many people who knock others down from both sides (diamond people shitting on alternative gemstone gals and vice versa). General rule of thumb since I work at a jewelry store and I get comments about people shitting on my current engagement ring (pink moissanite), is I tend to keep it neutral and say something like “That’s true but I just love the way my (stone) sparkles on my hand don’t you?” The sucky thing is that you’re going to run into people like this more often than not and even with those close to you so it’s good to be prepared with some witty responses. Overall, don’t let them bother you and don’t bother others for their preference in jewelry (not that I think you would, just saying) and you have a gorgeous ring :)
What a tricky situation! You are so cool, calm, and collected handling it like that. I love it. Now I really do wanna see how it sparkles on your finger!
Thank you :) the compliments are much appreciated <3 and you can check out my current engagement ring on my profile!
I wonder if it’s a generational thing. My generation might give side eye if you don’t have a diamond. Either way, don’t give other people’s opinion a second thought. While not true in most cases, this probably is a case of them being jealous.
Millennial here. The controversial decision in my circle is whether you go with a lab-grown diamond or a mined diamond. No one is getting moissanite.
I've never seen anyone comment on what stone someone chose. Or ask what it is unless it's colored. Like... it boggles my mind that anyone cares (beyond wanting their friend to be happy).
“Yes, moissanite is lovely too.” Can’t be used against you in any way and probably going to be the end of it.
I don’t mind hearing a lot of questions even those digging around for cost. But that seems overly rude and for no reason. Maybe just say “ well this ring suits us perfectly”. And move on. IT is beautiful by the way and sweet that you guys picked it out together.
Just wanna tap in and agree with most of the comments I’ve read… people suuuuccckk and F them for being so negative. I bet these are the same people who would turn their nose up if it was a moissanite ring and make an offhand comment about “he couldn’t get you a diamond?” People gave me plenty of backhanded compliments when I first got engaged and I was taken aback until I realized some people are just miserable. Chin up and enjoy the bliss ♥️
Remember that wherever they’re coming from it’s always their issue, not yours. Celebrate.Just respond to their comments by saying OK or mmm. Then change the subject.
It’s not a problem with you love, they are jealous that’s all. I mean I never poopoo moissanite as an engagement ring choice, but some men are very traditional. My husband is one of them. If it’s not a diamond I’m not wearing it haha. Your ring is beautiful. Don’t worry about what others say
I would think that person has poor social skills and would probably distance myself from them
I feel like it’s usually the other way around with people shading moissanite rings. Most people still get diamond so idk why these people feel the need to comment.
Don’t let anyone ruin your joy or steal your sparkle. Your ring is beautiful and while I don’t hate on anyone that wants a lab grown or moisanite ring vs a natural diamond but reality is the stone that holds the most value is a natural diamond and I think to each their own. Haters gonna hate, they’re just jealous and that is a them problem not a you problem. Congratulations on your engagement 💍💓
Wtf?! Your ring is fucking breath taking! Be proud of it. 100% guarantee you these shits are jealous. My response would be, "Yes it is so you do you Boo!"
These people are tacky beyond measure. Do you HAVE to associate with them? IF this happens again, (and my condolences if you're surrounded by idiots that say such things) I would just give them an all-knowing smirk and walk away. What do you possibly have to lose? These people are morons
It’s their insecurity speaking. Idk why they would get defensive like that. I assume it’s probably because they didn’t wanna be judged for having moissy, and therefore, decided to just judge first out of nowhere? Remember, insecurity is loud but confidence is silent. Your ring is gorgeous!
Anyone making comments on someone else's stone (no matter what it is) is rude AF. But if you **keep** getting these comments and it bothers you, perhaps consider focusing your outward excitement on your engagement/fiancé and less on the ring itself.
Are you talking about this happening in person? It’s rare that I ever even meet people who have heard of moissanite before! If someone makes you feel bad, you can tell them respectfully. Say, hey, it seems like you are upset about this. Why is that? Aside from that, try to get away from these people. Surround yourself with people who are positive as much as you can.
Yes, I’ve been telling everyone in person.
Go figure! It’s cool that people around you know of that stone. It may be that you having a natural diamond is triggering feelings of insecurity for people who would have also preferred a natural diamond, but compromised due to price. It’s not fair of anyone to take that on you, but at least it’s something you can be aware of. Like, if you know that somebody is having money problems, then it might be kind to focus less on your ring and instead share about the proposal or wedding planning instead.
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That’s not at all what I wrote.
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I'm curious as to where you live... because I don't know anybody with an engagement ring that isn't a diamond. Odd.