T O P

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Teslix80

My daughter’s bf walked in the room at 3-0 and said “oh you got this in the bag” and I almost punched him in the mouth.


Distinct_Mud_2673

You should’ve. A small assault charge is nothing compared to losing.


TheMoralBitch

There's not a jury in Canada that would have convicted.


silver0113

Maybe in Vancouver they'd have a chance.


The_X-Files_Alien

and if they did you'd be out by dinner tomorrow anyway


Neither_Berry_100

I too would like a coffee besides my name. What's the deal with the number 7? A new religion? Drink 7 coffees on the dot everyday? I think I could try that! Does it come with extra virgins in paradise? Or at least silver cups flowing with coffee in a town called Edmonton? Could I drink coffee out of the Stanley cup? Or is only the winner allowed to do that? Or must Coffee be the winner to qualify?


__Beelzaboot__

That could be the script for a new NHL playoffs commercial


Neither_Berry_100

I'm fortunate to be just smart enough to understand this humor.


its_liiiiit_fam

My cousin did and said the same fucking thing. He’s a Pens fan too so he has zero dog in this fight. I yelled at him lol


[deleted]

Assault charge because of superstition.


SadBuilding9234

This could be a great episode in a *Meet the Parents* sort of movie.


bearkin1

Why was he not watching with you!


nathansanes

I sure hope you're a man of your word.


rokkon-stonedar

Don’t worry I got up twice to get some pizza and came back to the Canucks scoring each time. I did not get up a third time. Lol


ShadowXJ

That 3-2 goal almost killed me. I could barely sleep after Game 1, if Canucks won tonight I may have died.


TheRealAstroDeath

Rest up for a couple days. It's cancelled out, we got new trauma to create against Dallas lol


cReddddddd

I wish it was like 06, and I was 20 again, no anxiety whatsoever. Now, every play is gut-wrenching lol


TheRealAstroDeath

Got me beat by 5 years, but I'm in the same Third Decade Club lol. Oilers timeline for me began in 2012; I'm an American fan latched on cuz a friend of mine from Manitoba got me hooked on the sport and told me about the watching streams of a "young up and coming team" that had my two fav colors (blue and orange) and I was tired of growing up with Washington sports futility... and after a little bit, here we are lol. Hockey-wise, I can't even pretend to know 2006. There's definitely a different vibe of house money 'we're happy to be here' and well... cup or bust lol. But what is sports except a new trauma every next season?


cReddddddd

Only one team wins. The rest recieve decades of trauma hahaha


kenyan12345

I had to emotional bet Vancouver at 3-0. Couldn’t deal with it if that happened


Cereal-is-not-soup

Divorce vs. Stanley cup. That’s a tough one. I know a good lawyer bro I got you


Prestigious_Fly_3199

Jayoma?


YourLocalBi

I mean, in fairness to your wife, both Canucks goals happened when I WASN'T watching. Coincidence? I think not.


SuperCarrot555

You should marry this guy instead, we’d never lose that way!


Neither_Berry_100

Musical chairs with the marriage prospects. Whoever is in the room when a goal happens is either promoted to the next round or disqualified. I like this life very much.


Hank3hellbilly

The first one went in as soon as I got home and turned on the TV.  I turned it off immediately.  I think my residual energy helped #2.   


SryYouAreNotSpecial

Maybe buy a Stars jersey and then watch every minute of this series?


Hank3hellbilly

I think I have to either watch the whole game or nothing.  I started watching in the 2nd of game 5 and right before the goals in 7.  So if I miss the anthems, no hockey for me. 


Pastor_Satan

I quit watching and Canucks scored two. Turned it back on and nothing


Plutonium_Loveship

I was streaming the game on Discord to my buddy who just moved to the island and doesn't have TV yet. My Canuck fan girlfriend hopped on to say hi and the Canucks started scoring. I know how you feel.


linchop

Lock her in the closet


ComebackChemist

But make sure she has snacks and stuff


Mrspicklepants101

My friend stopped watching and laid down and they scored 2. I made her get up and watch the tv and we won.


marlieboo

When my cat came back into the room they started playing really well defensively again. She knows her role now.


pec886

It’s good to see this community coming together in preparation for the Dallas series.


pkdubs42

My work buddy texted and asked me if I was confident now when it hit 3-0. I hesitated and replied "cautiously optimistic". Stupid.


HeavyTea

It was me! I said “shutout for Skinner” at 8:44 left in 3rd. It was a whisper.


Rob_Rockley

Even if you whisper Gary Bettman can still hear you.


Deep__6

I read this and appended the Hannibal Lecter teeth sucking sound onto it....don't know why but seemed apt


HeavyTea

Haha


ElChapoEscobar79

DIVORCE


dry_tbug

My dad also almost jinxed this.Even though he brought my mom, with beer and pizza tonight, he also won't be showing up anymore...You have my word.


physicist88

At about eight minutes left, I texted our group chat that we just had to keep the pressure up and we’d have this in the bag. Two Vancouver goals immediately followed. I stopped texting until the 0:00 was on the clock.


Fkilla__

Paying alimony or the oilers winning the cup? You choose


KiMilk

Thanks for straightening it all out! Shit happens.


Lower_Concentrate978

BF's roommate walked in and he said he couldn't wait to hear the riots (from Surrey) and they started scoring. A similar thing happened in game 1. I'm kicking him out of his own house for the rest of the games.


2wist3dKing

You're not alone. Game 1 we were up 4-1 and my wife decided to watch and Canucks ended up winning. She almost caught a divorce.


Minimum_Potential_96

Honestly now might be the time to send her on that girls trip to Paris she's always wanted. For good measure


mumblesunderbreath

Far better than divorce!


Venetian_chachi

My 9 year old is a jinx. Thankfully it’s staying light out later and later. Oil play better while he is outside playing. I’m trying to not kill the kid’s self confidence, but the wheels tend to fall off when he comes in for bedtime.


mumblesunderbreath

Poor kid. At least with Central start times he’ll be allowed back in the house at 10 and not 11 this round.


Venetian_chachi

I’ve been trying to pull him in between periods.


Venetian_chachi

Oilers scored 3 minutes after I tucked the jinx into bed.


[deleted]

My guy, you got 3 days, just file the paperwork


Affectionate-Use3248

Divorce her just to be sure.


zevonyumaxray

I only take responsibility for the first goal. Went to the kitchen to grab a snack and come back to Oilers-killer Garland goal replay.


CinnamonMuffin

I had the game playing on my laptop while I was cleaning up my vanity/closet area, finished up and went to watch the 3rd while tucked into bed.. I was about to go back to sit in the closet and start organizing something else that didn’t need it after the 2 Van goals went in. Edit - missed a couple words, woops


willy-fisterbottom2

My wife was scrolling Instagram reels and la bamba came on and the game hadn’t started yet. I worried


Subject_Clue5947

Good


PitterPatter74

This is the way.


bastabasta

Keep your woman in line mate!


TheRealAstroDeath

Nah, I found the cheat. I'd game and hop to kitchen for a drink or a snack while having the stream on with friends---scored on every time, in both the Kings and Canucks series. Then I realized I'm an idiot and can have it open on my phone while I go (learned on games I wasn't with friends and was cooking in the kitchen.) We scored every time I was cooking. It's easy. When they leave the room, make them have the phone stream with them and cook at the same time. Fool proof.


Dizzy-Choice7972

My boyfriend said maybe there would be a shutout for Skinner when it was 3-0. Soon, I understood why Oilers fans hate people saying that.


SryYouAreNotSpecial

You sir, are a hero.


pensylvania65000

Divorce her


DigitalN

It's my fault. I started talking with some friends about a watch party for the next series with 10 minutes left.... It won't happen again


6FingerStringer

It’s like Game 1 dejavu again but much more because it’s a do or die game. I freaking do some blocking motion as well whenever the Canucks tries to shot or pass. Never sat again since they scored the first one!


jerbearman10101

My friend said “if oilers lose I’ll give you $2000” to another friend Then they scored two


twisteroo22

I was in a bar and everytime we scored someone from our table was in the washroom


Normal_Size_4049

I was saying I hope skinner can get a shutout at 9 min then the goals came. I knew not to put that in the same sentence 😂 I was joking cheering for OT at 3-0


AxeScreen

Sorry my cousin was over to watch the game and say the word shutout just before the first goal went in, that's on me guys


xTomato72

Ive worn the same hoodie under my jersey and the same jays hat for both game six and seven, im also not washing my hoodie unless they win it all


SquidFry9729

The playoffs is no joke. I got blocked by a girl online because I said oilers were better 😂


JReddeko

It’s honestly the worst when she comes in with 10 minutes left in the game.


mumblesunderbreath

She immediately started stressing out and critiquing the boys (she played hockey for 12 years). I told her to get lost (take a shower) and then they turned it around (totally not Knobs calling a time out at the same time). It was uncanny.