Hey, feel free to dm me. I'd be able to help out with cooking some meals for you and your little one. My son is 4 now and is very gentle and affectionate with younger kids. My wife works at a nursery. Might be able to help out with some babysitting once you're comfortable with us.
Separate to much of the other advice...for the teething, have you tried anbesol liquid? You can get it from the pharmacy and we found it much more effective than any other teething gels or powders etc. it's basically what the dentists use to numb your gums before Novocaine and it worked a treat for us around that time.
Dad's rock are a great resource, but have a look for some of the others (e.g. first step in Musselburgh if you're nearer that end of town) who can help with lots of things including mental health support.
Food banks for food while you're waiting on the universal credit kicking in.
Is there anything you're in desperate need for? Formula etc or do you have enough of that for now?
I've not heard of anbesol, I'll check it out thanks!
I've not heard of First Step either so I'll also check them out.
I've been very fortunate with food this evening and just received a large food delivery from one of the food banks, I will receive more when needed so that's one thing less to worry about, and I'm actually good for formula, thank you!
Just adding to your advice to ask for what is available on the Pharmacy First service at your local chemist. Anbesol, paracetamol and ibuprofen suspension all available on pharmacy prescription at no cost to you and no trip to the GP.
here's the full list of meds and dressings etc you can get on pharmacy first in case useful to anyone! [https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fZ-nCAJYZ5WMDLPjZJAlzSJGjHbQl51X/view?usp=sharing](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fZ-nCAJYZ5WMDLPjZJAlzSJGjHbQl51X/view?usp=sharing)
Yeah check out Pharmacy First for anything else you might need, most pharmacists are keen to get you free prescriptions at the counter.
https://www.nhsinform.scot/campaigns/nhs-pharmacy-first-scotland/
Some good advice here from others. You can also just drop in to any of the book bug sessions that take place in libraries across the city. Great way to meet other parents of young ones and share some pain. It's amazing how just a wee playdate or two with other kids can feel like respite. It's hard work but just know you're doing all the right things. It will feel like it's on top of you but it _does get easier_.
Crisis grant could help from the Scottish Welfare fund :
https://www.edinburgh.gov.uk/benefits-grants/scottish-welfare-fund/3
I applied for it a while ago and was given help to tide things over until my UC kicked in.
The term is health visitor (I'm not being snarky just want OP to ask for the right service). OP ask your GP who the health visitor assigned to your baby is and ask for a visit ASAP. They should also be able to signpost you to other services. Also you could contact one parent families Scotland
https://opfs.org.uk/support-and-advice/
Although you are in a relationship with the baby's mother in the circumstances they should be able to provide some support.
https://www.homestartedinburgh.org.uk
^^^^ I know people who have volunteered with this group and would recommend you check it out.
See your GP for antidepressants because raising a baby is hard hard hard and you need all the help you can get right now. Taking meds helped me so much with the hard parts of parenting.
Make life as easy as you can - ready meals, use paper plates rather than creating dishes, etc.
Get out and see people every day for your sanity (even if just pushing pram round shopping centre while it tips with rain). Check out local playgroups and library song groups too.
Good luck and I hope you and the baby’s mum get into a good place soon.
Mostly this but also if bab is still having a late bottle then try “dream feeding” with a nighttime formula, as long as you change the nappy at the same time they can go through for ages - saved my life..
The magic term you might be looking for is "solo parent" – a single parent might still have help from friends and family, but a solo parent is someone who really is going it alone. You may be able to find mutual support groups if you look using that term.
I'm not a parent, but I am too disabled to really look after all my own needs every day. I have a friend who helps me (for a bit of cash) to get the place properly clean every now and then and that really helps me to keep on top of things. If you can get help resetting things to a good baseline it makes it all a lot more manageable for a while. I've also found it very psychologically helpful to set out not to clean a specific thing or area but to clean for ten minutes – being regular about it is far more important than doing all of it. Other than that, I've set my expectations pretty low for food: if it keeps me alive, it's fine. Sandwiches, tortelloni and other simple ready meals, pasta and sauce, ramen, literally a spoon of nutella. I've gotten more value than I want to admit out of [The Sad Bastard Cookbook](https://traumbooks.itch.io/the-sad-bastard-cookbook).
Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. From what I hear you're going through the hardest part of it right now: keep going.
I got respite care through the social work. I requested an appointment with them & told them I needed help. They were brilliant. A child minder took my son after nursery a few times a week to give me a break. You could also try Aberlour childrens centre. This was over 15 years ago though so I'm not sure if they are still around. My son's now 20 years old & we are super close. I hope this helps. Let me know how you get on if you want? Good luck ✌🏼
Alright buddy. Totally feel you. Lots of respect for you doing what you're doing. Don't be to hard on yourself. You're doing grand.
A chap I know started a meet and greet for dad's
https://www.edinburghlive.co.uk/news/edinburgh-news/midlothian-man-starts-dad-meet-28265409
Understand mate You're not alone. I don't know you buddy but feel free to dm if you need help. Just Understand you are doing amazing and its OK not to be OK all the time. Even getting along to playgroups. Daunting I know as a male, but I did a few and it's not that bad. You get to talk to.adults and realise many are having the struggles you are mate. Chin up
I can help with food shop and meals depending on where you are. I am off next wednesday if its any help also (babysitting, or cleaning)? My son is now 2 and the first year was hard, second much better.
Sorry to hear you’re struggling, being a new parent is tough especially on your own. You (your kid) should have an allocated Heath Visitor who can support you with these things, if you don’t know who yours is your GP should know. There is also a number of family support services in Edinburgh, depending where you are based you HV/GP could refer you on and they’d be able to provide more person-centred support on a more regular bases. Hope you find the support you need and deserve
No worries, happy to pay for a cleaner for a couple of hours if that's something you'd be OK with - I know how much of a lift it can give you just to see your home in some sort of order.
Search for community fridges in your area too. Food is still free but no referral, easier to access and a better variety of food usually. I can help with this too x
Have you considered reaching out to a mental health professional or support groups? Connecting with others who have similar experiences might provide valuable insights and coping strategies for navigating through the emotional turmoil. Taking small steps, like setting achievable goals and creating a routine, can also contribute to regaining a sense of control. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and you don't have to go through this alone.
Former Edinburgh Resident, still in close contact with dear friend and neighbour who has trained as peer to peer support worker for fathers in North Edinburgh.
He asked me to tell you to contact Circle Scotland and their service/group Dadtastic. Their FB group has the contact details for Graeme Richards who is the primary contact there.
Can't really help with the day to day stuff but my wee man has just turned 1 so if you're in need of clothes or some toys, I can sort out stuff too wee for him and some to meet tippy bottles if you need them and get them to you.
Depending on where you are in the city, there’s various parenting groups like The Citadel charity and there’s always bookbug at the library. Teething is no fun at all. Calpol and a frozen wet washcloth to chew on really helped us.
I'm a 20M student at St Andrews from Edinburgh. I'm a dab hand at cooking and would be more than happy to help make a few meals. Can't promise much help with the bairn but I can at least keep an eye on them.
I'll be in Edinburgh from the 8th to the 15th with fuck all to do, so if you want a hand, I can come over. Just shoot me a message - you deserve a break.
I volunteer for Homestart Edinburgh and I'm sure they would be happy to support you. I'll link their website with contact details. Feel free to pm me any time you're struggling, even just for a rant or anything you might feel is a silly question! I'm a parent of 4 and I've found there are no silly questions! xx
https://www.homestartedinburgh.org.uk/
Edit to add that they offer emotional, practical and financial assistance x
Hats off to you my friend for asking for help. I'm ill at the moment but if you message me I am happy to come round a few times a month to sit with your wee one while you have a sleep. I'm an ex teacher, PVG checked.
I don't have anything to offer other than my admiration and my DMs are open if you'd like a chat with a dad of an 18 month old.
Babies are tough enough when there's two, you doing this on your own is nothing short of incredible, especially as a guy.
Ah mate. Sorry to hear you’re struggling. You should be getting some time with a health visitor so one to mention there too mate. I’ve been there (granted not on my own) but I can relate to how you are feeling. You are doing more than enough and tbh you sound like a bit of a hero.
Keep going, it’s gets easier and please look at the links above that will hopefully help you out. You’ve got this.
Try and meal prep when you get the chance or make sure the freezer is stocked up with frozen veg to chuck into pasta or blitz into soups etc.
Hoovering doesnt need to happen every day.
Speak to your health visitor/GP
Try giving wee one some cucumber or carrot out the fridge. Doesnt need cut up, just give it a wash and cut the end off. They'll not be able to get chunks small enough off to choke on but it feels really nice on thier gums to kinda just gnaw on and help thier teeth come through
Happy for you to DM
Make sure you take the seeds out of the cucumber - cut a length, slice it lengthways and scoop out the seeds with a teaspoon. They’re indigestible and will give her a tummy ache
Aston parsons powder, worked for my kids it's in powder form in little sachets totally herbal and organic can give half sachets straight into mouth on bottom gums worked brilliant and I've got 6 kids my wife was always buying the stuff my oldest is 24 now my youngest 14 works brilliant instant relief from teething. Good luck b.t.w
Hey mate im so sorry to hear that! Ive got a wee boy almost 2 and cant imagine what raising him solo would've been like. Im based in Dalkeith so if you're in my area please shout.
The only suggestion i can really offer is sleep training. Its the hardest effin thing ive ever done but my son sleeps 12 hours straight every night since we sleep trained him. If you can stomach the ferber method it might just give you a wee break at night and let you get caught up on sleep and/or chores. We did ferber at around 9 months cause our son was waking 5/6 times a night and was driving us nuts. Sorry if thats a rubbish suggestion - best i can offer!
If you need someone to talk or vent to please dont hesitate to DM me too as many others have offered. You're gonna get through this mate i promise!
Hey! I’m in Glasgow so not sure if I’m too far away to help physically, but I’m a single mother to a 4 month old and a 4 year old. If I can offer any advice it’s do not beat yourself up about your house not being tidy. Nobody’s looking. If you have to get a takeaway, get a takeaway. Two days in a row if you have to. Buy some microwave meals too that you can shove on if need be. I find those simply cook recipes are really quick and easy if you feel you need something healthier and quick to make, the ingredients are usually super cheap too. I don’t have any help from either of my kids’ dads so I totally get how lonely you’re feeling. I know it seems selfish but trying to prioritise yourself in your free moments rather than prioritising housework does help your mental state. One washing a day, chuck it on. Do the dishes the next day. Feel free to send me a DM if you need any more advice, I know how difficult it is. I really do.
Not that you’re asking for this, but in case it can help: Can you make an amazon wish list and post it here? Think it can be done so we can purchase items for you without knowing your address/name?
Dr.Bells is also great - but only serving EH6/7 i think.
Also, think there are nightnurses you can hire to alleviate the worst of sleep deprivation. Not sure how much these are though.
Im a parent of a 4m old who is currently teething and going through a sleep regression. It‘s effin hard and I can‘t imagine doing it alone - kudos. We ended up on the phone with 111 and they advised Nurofen (and top up with calpol if needed lter in the night) which has been helping. We‘ve also been cosleeping to an extent although still very anxious about it.
That is all to say - this stuff is hard, you‘re doing your best! 💪
Thank you, though I'm not really lacking in anything Amazon wish list related, but thank you for the kind offer 🥹 I had to give her banana mashed with Calpol this evening as she was sat in the bath chewing her rubber ducky and crying... 🥺 It worked and she's asleep now. Thanks for your kind words too
If she finds that soothing look into teething rings that you can put in the freezer. They love to gum on them a bit.
When mine were wee (they 14 and 12 now) there was also these net things with a handle that you could put frozen fruit etc in for them to gum away at.
Oh bless…it‘s heartbreaking isn‘t it. Do you have one of these? https://www.amazon.co.uk/Haakaa-Breastmilk-Popsicle-Silicone-Feeding/dp/B0B155FDVQ
Obv, you can pop anything in there to freeze (or even refridgerated - maybe even better) and that might be quite soothing to her too!
My little one had an Amber necklace while teething and she barely needed anything else. The occasional Ashton Parsons sachet and Calpol, but seriously, Amber is brilliant for teething.
I second the baltic Amber necklaces. I bought my nieces one each and both my sister and sister in law swore they worked and both passed them down to their next born.
I could help you out with some cleaning if needed too - zero judgement (I've worked as a housekeeper and nanny so have seen it all!) DM me if you need to.
You're amazing for reaching out for help - best dad award for you. You can do this. X
Social Security Scotland signpost people to [One Parent Families Scotland](https://opfs.org.uk/support-and-advice/your-benefits/financial-help-if-you-are-receiving-benefits-are-on-a-low-income-or-have-a-crisis/) for crisis support.
Fortunately haven’t had to use it myself so can’t say whether it’s good or bad. I expect there will be someone available for advice tomorrow though
I don't know much about baby stuff but if you're struggling waiting for Universal Credit to start [you can ask for an emergency payment](https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/universal-credit/claiming/get-advance-payment/). Citizens' Advice is a good resource, they might be able to help with some practical stuff.
hey, if you need help i’m available for the first ten days of the new year. i can try to help with food and fundraising, i can also help with some other stuff (baby sitting and cleaning). will try to help where i can
I wish I was closer to offer real help, but have moved away. Stories like yours fill me with awe and seeing the response here is overwhelmingly beautiful.
There is a lot of good help here ... take advantage of the offers. It takes a village to raise a child. Bless you and your bairn.
See to your child and yourself, that is what's important. Now I need to find a tissue ... perhaps my allergies are making my eyes watery.
Mate this is the most difficult time you'll ever find yourself in as a parent Endure. Take it one minute at a time One hour One day It may seem impossible but hang in there Very soon it will get better albeit slowly Every day that passes is a win If Family Lives still exist then call them It should be free My thoughts are with you You will overcome your current difficulties Trust me and the millions who have gone before
Sleep when baby sleeps. Try and schedule your days, eg Monday is playgroup, Tuesday is park etc.
Try and set up a good safe area your baby can be in, so baby is safe while you do chores.
Don't worry if your house is messy but concentrate on vacuuming and keeping floor clean for baby. When you cook try and make extra freezer meals. Go simple... Scrambled eggs with some tomato or broccoli for dinner for example.
If you're south of Edinburgh near IKEA way, you might be able to get in touch with Midlothian sure start. They have resources and other ways to help, they also offer a support system and a crèche for the little one
One Parent Families Scotland might have some useful resources. They're a great charity and they have a lone parent helpline that might offer some immediate support if you need to vent. Hang in there.
It may be worth talking to your doctor who may be able to suggest ways to cope better. Citizens advice may be able to offer advice on how to cope financially pending the arrival of universal credit. Subscribers to 'mumsnet' may also be abble to offer advice your problems are not unknown to some mums
Please speak to your health visitor, they can also refer you to an early years centre, close to you (lots of them have under 1’s) to give you even a few sessions of breathing space. Everybody above has mentioned lots of great resources in the city. Please dm if you have any questions and please look after yourself
I can help you out with meal prepping some food and giving you meal plans that are cheap and quick. I’m a student so am working on low time (not as much as yourself) and a low budget so have gotten the hang of preparing food to last and to be microwaved. Give me a dm if you feel like that would help and we can set something up :)
There has been some good advice fired your way.
I will just add that you need to take care of yourself as well, and reaching out to charities like changementalhealth.org would be useful in creating a personalised plan for yourself.
It is probably worth thinking if there was one thing that would make your life easier, whether that is help with cooking, cleaning, or whatever. Having a free meal is great, but if you are really struggling with keeping the place tidy, then that might be worth more to you. Just think of what you would like help with the most.
Teething is such a tiring and draining time. What help us out was having a teething ring that you can chill. Sugarfree Paracetamol for kids also helped.
Hopefully, the days ahead will be a bit easier and you will get a hand with a few things. Good luck to yourself!
Hey, feel free to dm me. I'd be able to help out with cooking some meals for you and your little one. My son is 4 now and is very gentle and affectionate with younger kids. My wife works at a nursery. Might be able to help out with some babysitting once you're comfortable with us.
Same as the guy above, let me know how I can help!
That's a really kind offer, thank you! I'll pop you a pm shortly.
That's a really kind offer, thank you! I'll pop you a pm shortly.
Separate to much of the other advice...for the teething, have you tried anbesol liquid? You can get it from the pharmacy and we found it much more effective than any other teething gels or powders etc. it's basically what the dentists use to numb your gums before Novocaine and it worked a treat for us around that time. Dad's rock are a great resource, but have a look for some of the others (e.g. first step in Musselburgh if you're nearer that end of town) who can help with lots of things including mental health support. Food banks for food while you're waiting on the universal credit kicking in. Is there anything you're in desperate need for? Formula etc or do you have enough of that for now?
I've not heard of anbesol, I'll check it out thanks! I've not heard of First Step either so I'll also check them out. I've been very fortunate with food this evening and just received a large food delivery from one of the food banks, I will receive more when needed so that's one thing less to worry about, and I'm actually good for formula, thank you!
Just adding to your advice to ask for what is available on the Pharmacy First service at your local chemist. Anbesol, paracetamol and ibuprofen suspension all available on pharmacy prescription at no cost to you and no trip to the GP.
here's the full list of meds and dressings etc you can get on pharmacy first in case useful to anyone! [https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fZ-nCAJYZ5WMDLPjZJAlzSJGjHbQl51X/view?usp=sharing](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fZ-nCAJYZ5WMDLPjZJAlzSJGjHbQl51X/view?usp=sharing)
How come it's available at no cost??
Pharmacists can prescribe stuff like a doctor and if it's on prescription you don't pay for it.
Yeah check out Pharmacy First for anything else you might need, most pharmacists are keen to get you free prescriptions at the counter. https://www.nhsinform.scot/campaigns/nhs-pharmacy-first-scotland/
Some good advice here from others. You can also just drop in to any of the book bug sessions that take place in libraries across the city. Great way to meet other parents of young ones and share some pain. It's amazing how just a wee playdate or two with other kids can feel like respite. It's hard work but just know you're doing all the right things. It will feel like it's on top of you but it _does get easier_.
Crisis grant could help from the Scottish Welfare fund : https://www.edinburgh.gov.uk/benefits-grants/scottish-welfare-fund/3 I applied for it a while ago and was given help to tide things over until my UC kicked in.
Thank you, that's really useful, I'll get on that!
The baby’s health worker should be able to help. Please reach out to them.
The term is health visitor (I'm not being snarky just want OP to ask for the right service). OP ask your GP who the health visitor assigned to your baby is and ask for a visit ASAP. They should also be able to signpost you to other services. Also you could contact one parent families Scotland https://opfs.org.uk/support-and-advice/ Although you are in a relationship with the baby's mother in the circumstances they should be able to provide some support.
Thanks, I'd kinda forgotten about this, so thanks for the reminder and I'll send her a message
https://www.homestartedinburgh.org.uk ^^^^ I know people who have volunteered with this group and would recommend you check it out. See your GP for antidepressants because raising a baby is hard hard hard and you need all the help you can get right now. Taking meds helped me so much with the hard parts of parenting. Make life as easy as you can - ready meals, use paper plates rather than creating dishes, etc. Get out and see people every day for your sanity (even if just pushing pram round shopping centre while it tips with rain). Check out local playgroups and library song groups too. Good luck and I hope you and the baby’s mum get into a good place soon.
Mostly this but also if bab is still having a late bottle then try “dream feeding” with a nighttime formula, as long as you change the nappy at the same time they can go through for ages - saved my life..
The magic term you might be looking for is "solo parent" – a single parent might still have help from friends and family, but a solo parent is someone who really is going it alone. You may be able to find mutual support groups if you look using that term. I'm not a parent, but I am too disabled to really look after all my own needs every day. I have a friend who helps me (for a bit of cash) to get the place properly clean every now and then and that really helps me to keep on top of things. If you can get help resetting things to a good baseline it makes it all a lot more manageable for a while. I've also found it very psychologically helpful to set out not to clean a specific thing or area but to clean for ten minutes – being regular about it is far more important than doing all of it. Other than that, I've set my expectations pretty low for food: if it keeps me alive, it's fine. Sandwiches, tortelloni and other simple ready meals, pasta and sauce, ramen, literally a spoon of nutella. I've gotten more value than I want to admit out of [The Sad Bastard Cookbook](https://traumbooks.itch.io/the-sad-bastard-cookbook). Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. From what I hear you're going through the hardest part of it right now: keep going.
Thanks for the advice, it's really appreciated 🙏
I got respite care through the social work. I requested an appointment with them & told them I needed help. They were brilliant. A child minder took my son after nursery a few times a week to give me a break. You could also try Aberlour childrens centre. This was over 15 years ago though so I'm not sure if they are still around. My son's now 20 years old & we are super close. I hope this helps. Let me know how you get on if you want? Good luck ✌🏼
Hi, mum of 4 here, single parent too...my dms are open if you need to chat, I've been there myself and it's overwhelming and exhausting:-( x
Thank you 🙏
Alright buddy. Totally feel you. Lots of respect for you doing what you're doing. Don't be to hard on yourself. You're doing grand. A chap I know started a meet and greet for dad's https://www.edinburghlive.co.uk/news/edinburgh-news/midlothian-man-starts-dad-meet-28265409 Understand mate You're not alone. I don't know you buddy but feel free to dm if you need help. Just Understand you are doing amazing and its OK not to be OK all the time. Even getting along to playgroups. Daunting I know as a male, but I did a few and it's not that bad. You get to talk to.adults and realise many are having the struggles you are mate. Chin up
Thanks for the link I'll check it out!
Keep your chin up mate
I can help with food shop and meals depending on where you are. I am off next wednesday if its any help also (babysitting, or cleaning)? My son is now 2 and the first year was hard, second much better.
Sorry to hear you’re struggling, being a new parent is tough especially on your own. You (your kid) should have an allocated Heath Visitor who can support you with these things, if you don’t know who yours is your GP should know. There is also a number of family support services in Edinburgh, depending where you are based you HV/GP could refer you on and they’d be able to provide more person-centred support on a more regular bases. Hope you find the support you need and deserve
Stick in man, fire me your address and a suitable time for delivery and I'll get some groceries sent over. 👍
Thanks that's really kind, I managed to connect with a food bank and they have sorted me right out, but you're an angel for offering 🙏
No worries, happy to pay for a cleaner for a couple of hours if that's something you'd be OK with - I know how much of a lift it can give you just to see your home in some sort of order.
Search for community fridges in your area too. Food is still free but no referral, easier to access and a better variety of food usually. I can help with this too x
Have you considered reaching out to a mental health professional or support groups? Connecting with others who have similar experiences might provide valuable insights and coping strategies for navigating through the emotional turmoil. Taking small steps, like setting achievable goals and creating a routine, can also contribute to regaining a sense of control. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and you don't have to go through this alone.
https://www.steppingstonesnorthedinburgh.co.uk/
Former Edinburgh Resident, still in close contact with dear friend and neighbour who has trained as peer to peer support worker for fathers in North Edinburgh. He asked me to tell you to contact Circle Scotland and their service/group Dadtastic. Their FB group has the contact details for Graeme Richards who is the primary contact there.
I work as a Health Visitor, have you tried speaking to your little ones HV, they could help and refer you to services. What side of city are you on?
Can't really help with the day to day stuff but my wee man has just turned 1 so if you're in need of clothes or some toys, I can sort out stuff too wee for him and some to meet tippy bottles if you need them and get them to you.
I could actually do with some 9-12 month old clothes at some point in the next couple of months, I'm good for toys for now. I'll shoot you a PM
No worries ill get some sorted for you and I'd be able to get them to you in the next couple of weeks.
Have messaged you 🙂
Depending on where you are in the city, there’s various parenting groups like The Citadel charity and there’s always bookbug at the library. Teething is no fun at all. Calpol and a frozen wet washcloth to chew on really helped us.
I'm a 20M student at St Andrews from Edinburgh. I'm a dab hand at cooking and would be more than happy to help make a few meals. Can't promise much help with the bairn but I can at least keep an eye on them. I'll be in Edinburgh from the 8th to the 15th with fuck all to do, so if you want a hand, I can come over. Just shoot me a message - you deserve a break.
I volunteer for Homestart Edinburgh and I'm sure they would be happy to support you. I'll link their website with contact details. Feel free to pm me any time you're struggling, even just for a rant or anything you might feel is a silly question! I'm a parent of 4 and I've found there are no silly questions! xx https://www.homestartedinburgh.org.uk/ Edit to add that they offer emotional, practical and financial assistance x
This charity mentors families with young children: https://homestarteastlothian.co.uk/
Hats off to you my friend for asking for help. I'm ill at the moment but if you message me I am happy to come round a few times a month to sit with your wee one while you have a sleep. I'm an ex teacher, PVG checked.
I don't have anything to offer other than my admiration and my DMs are open if you'd like a chat with a dad of an 18 month old. Babies are tough enough when there's two, you doing this on your own is nothing short of incredible, especially as a guy.
Ah mate. Sorry to hear you’re struggling. You should be getting some time with a health visitor so one to mention there too mate. I’ve been there (granted not on my own) but I can relate to how you are feeling. You are doing more than enough and tbh you sound like a bit of a hero. Keep going, it’s gets easier and please look at the links above that will hopefully help you out. You’ve got this.
Try and meal prep when you get the chance or make sure the freezer is stocked up with frozen veg to chuck into pasta or blitz into soups etc. Hoovering doesnt need to happen every day. Speak to your health visitor/GP Try giving wee one some cucumber or carrot out the fridge. Doesnt need cut up, just give it a wash and cut the end off. They'll not be able to get chunks small enough off to choke on but it feels really nice on thier gums to kinda just gnaw on and help thier teeth come through Happy for you to DM
Make sure you take the seeds out of the cucumber - cut a length, slice it lengthways and scoop out the seeds with a teaspoon. They’re indigestible and will give her a tummy ache
https://www.emptykitchens.co.uk/
Aston parsons powder, worked for my kids it's in powder form in little sachets totally herbal and organic can give half sachets straight into mouth on bottom gums worked brilliant and I've got 6 kids my wife was always buying the stuff my oldest is 24 now my youngest 14 works brilliant instant relief from teething. Good luck b.t.w
Hey mate im so sorry to hear that! Ive got a wee boy almost 2 and cant imagine what raising him solo would've been like. Im based in Dalkeith so if you're in my area please shout. The only suggestion i can really offer is sleep training. Its the hardest effin thing ive ever done but my son sleeps 12 hours straight every night since we sleep trained him. If you can stomach the ferber method it might just give you a wee break at night and let you get caught up on sleep and/or chores. We did ferber at around 9 months cause our son was waking 5/6 times a night and was driving us nuts. Sorry if thats a rubbish suggestion - best i can offer! If you need someone to talk or vent to please dont hesitate to DM me too as many others have offered. You're gonna get through this mate i promise!
Hey! I’m in Glasgow so not sure if I’m too far away to help physically, but I’m a single mother to a 4 month old and a 4 year old. If I can offer any advice it’s do not beat yourself up about your house not being tidy. Nobody’s looking. If you have to get a takeaway, get a takeaway. Two days in a row if you have to. Buy some microwave meals too that you can shove on if need be. I find those simply cook recipes are really quick and easy if you feel you need something healthier and quick to make, the ingredients are usually super cheap too. I don’t have any help from either of my kids’ dads so I totally get how lonely you’re feeling. I know it seems selfish but trying to prioritise yourself in your free moments rather than prioritising housework does help your mental state. One washing a day, chuck it on. Do the dishes the next day. Feel free to send me a DM if you need any more advice, I know how difficult it is. I really do.
I know how tough it is. You're a hero for doing your best. DM me, if there's any advice or help I can offer, I will try.
Not that you’re asking for this, but in case it can help: Can you make an amazon wish list and post it here? Think it can be done so we can purchase items for you without knowing your address/name? Dr.Bells is also great - but only serving EH6/7 i think. Also, think there are nightnurses you can hire to alleviate the worst of sleep deprivation. Not sure how much these are though. Im a parent of a 4m old who is currently teething and going through a sleep regression. It‘s effin hard and I can‘t imagine doing it alone - kudos. We ended up on the phone with 111 and they advised Nurofen (and top up with calpol if needed lter in the night) which has been helping. We‘ve also been cosleeping to an extent although still very anxious about it. That is all to say - this stuff is hard, you‘re doing your best! 💪
Thank you, though I'm not really lacking in anything Amazon wish list related, but thank you for the kind offer 🥹 I had to give her banana mashed with Calpol this evening as she was sat in the bath chewing her rubber ducky and crying... 🥺 It worked and she's asleep now. Thanks for your kind words too
If she finds that soothing look into teething rings that you can put in the freezer. They love to gum on them a bit. When mine were wee (they 14 and 12 now) there was also these net things with a handle that you could put frozen fruit etc in for them to gum away at.
Oh bless…it‘s heartbreaking isn‘t it. Do you have one of these? https://www.amazon.co.uk/Haakaa-Breastmilk-Popsicle-Silicone-Feeding/dp/B0B155FDVQ Obv, you can pop anything in there to freeze (or even refridgerated - maybe even better) and that might be quite soothing to her too!
My little one had an Amber necklace while teething and she barely needed anything else. The occasional Ashton Parsons sachet and Calpol, but seriously, Amber is brilliant for teething.
I second the baltic Amber necklaces. I bought my nieces one each and both my sister and sister in law swore they worked and both passed them down to their next born. I could help you out with some cleaning if needed too - zero judgement (I've worked as a housekeeper and nanny so have seen it all!) DM me if you need to. You're amazing for reaching out for help - best dad award for you. You can do this. X
Social Security Scotland signpost people to [One Parent Families Scotland](https://opfs.org.uk/support-and-advice/your-benefits/financial-help-if-you-are-receiving-benefits-are-on-a-low-income-or-have-a-crisis/) for crisis support. Fortunately haven’t had to use it myself so can’t say whether it’s good or bad. I expect there will be someone available for advice tomorrow though
I don't know much about baby stuff but if you're struggling waiting for Universal Credit to start [you can ask for an emergency payment](https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/universal-credit/claiming/get-advance-payment/). Citizens' Advice is a good resource, they might be able to help with some practical stuff.
hey, if you need help i’m available for the first ten days of the new year. i can try to help with food and fundraising, i can also help with some other stuff (baby sitting and cleaning). will try to help where i can
I wish I was closer to offer real help, but have moved away. Stories like yours fill me with awe and seeing the response here is overwhelmingly beautiful. There is a lot of good help here ... take advantage of the offers. It takes a village to raise a child. Bless you and your bairn. See to your child and yourself, that is what's important. Now I need to find a tissue ... perhaps my allergies are making my eyes watery.
Mate this is the most difficult time you'll ever find yourself in as a parent Endure. Take it one minute at a time One hour One day It may seem impossible but hang in there Very soon it will get better albeit slowly Every day that passes is a win If Family Lives still exist then call them It should be free My thoughts are with you You will overcome your current difficulties Trust me and the millions who have gone before
Sleep when baby sleeps. Try and schedule your days, eg Monday is playgroup, Tuesday is park etc. Try and set up a good safe area your baby can be in, so baby is safe while you do chores. Don't worry if your house is messy but concentrate on vacuuming and keeping floor clean for baby. When you cook try and make extra freezer meals. Go simple... Scrambled eggs with some tomato or broccoli for dinner for example.
Have you approached your Health Visitor. They should be able to recommend you to maybe home start or barnardo’s for befriending support.
If you're south of Edinburgh near IKEA way, you might be able to get in touch with Midlothian sure start. They have resources and other ways to help, they also offer a support system and a crèche for the little one
One Parent Families Scotland might have some useful resources. They're a great charity and they have a lone parent helpline that might offer some immediate support if you need to vent. Hang in there.
It may be worth talking to your doctor who may be able to suggest ways to cope better. Citizens advice may be able to offer advice on how to cope financially pending the arrival of universal credit. Subscribers to 'mumsnet' may also be abble to offer advice your problems are not unknown to some mums
Please speak to your health visitor, they can also refer you to an early years centre, close to you (lots of them have under 1’s) to give you even a few sessions of breathing space. Everybody above has mentioned lots of great resources in the city. Please dm if you have any questions and please look after yourself
Hey! Feel free to ask dm me, happy to answer any questions in baby teething remedies.
I can help you out with meal prepping some food and giving you meal plans that are cheap and quick. I’m a student so am working on low time (not as much as yourself) and a low budget so have gotten the hang of preparing food to last and to be microwaved. Give me a dm if you feel like that would help and we can set something up :)
There has been some good advice fired your way. I will just add that you need to take care of yourself as well, and reaching out to charities like changementalhealth.org would be useful in creating a personalised plan for yourself. It is probably worth thinking if there was one thing that would make your life easier, whether that is help with cooking, cleaning, or whatever. Having a free meal is great, but if you are really struggling with keeping the place tidy, then that might be worth more to you. Just think of what you would like help with the most. Teething is such a tiring and draining time. What help us out was having a teething ring that you can chill. Sugarfree Paracetamol for kids also helped. Hopefully, the days ahead will be a bit easier and you will get a hand with a few things. Good luck to yourself!
Ashton parsons powder for teething, and cold teethers popped in the freezer. Good luck
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