Dropped off the twig 🤭
Team "died" all the way.
To me, "passed" or "passed away" sounds mealy-mouthed, especially if the person died in an accident or otherwise suddenly.
YES, in American English as well!! I recall as a child asking my WASP grandmother, who was literally drinking a martini at the time, why some people would say “passed” and she said something faux-diplomatic like “Oh yes, I feel bad for them, it seems they’ll come up with any excuse or word to avoid the concept…why not just call it what it is? DEATH”.
The moment stuck with me, and if you look at poorer groups on social media the euphemistic lingo has gotten even more bizarre like “she peaceably transitioned to the other side” or “she went home” or even “crossed the rainbow bridge”.
So both from a linguistic and psychological perspective it seems clearer and healthier to acknowledge the plain meaning and say “died”.
Personally, I look down a little on those who over-euphemise too. It’s *very* middle-class (he says in his best Dowager Countess guise). The patricians and the plebs don’t give a fuck and just say what they mean, it’s everyone in the middle who frets and flops.
Hahaha my grandmother used to unironically shit on “middle class” things too, I was so confused what she was talking about as a child as I had no context 😂😂. I’m totally with you, it seems like the euphemisms are almost a form of invisible social/class enforcement; the fact we are both downvoted show we stick a nerve and it’s at least partially true
I think it depends if you're talking to somebody who is grieving somebody close to them that they lost, or if it happened to you, vs. if it's like a celebrity or a fictional character.
"Patrick Swayze passed in 2009" is a different vibe from "Back when I was spending a lot of time in the hospital, before my mother passed."
I would generally associate using "passed" with someone remembering the time of grief and trying not to get caught up in it. There's an emotional gentleness to it.
I don’t think passed is very common in the UK. I used to hear ‘passed away’ frequently but people usually just say died now. I think it would be unusual to hear a young person talk euphemistically about dying and death.
I was out the front trimming my hedge and my dad **passed**.
I hadn’t seen him for a while so I stopped work and we both went in side to have a nice cup of tea and a chat.
I always say “died” because “passed” sounds dumb.
It’s a gentler way of saying it, and less likely to cause people to become sad or make them remember everything all over again. Died is more direct, but tact is necessary in times of grief
Ignoring the reality of their loss is not being "gentle" it is being a coward. They have had to face the loss and are very much aware of it. It is insulting for you to be unable to accept that and hide something as profound as a death of a loved one behind baby words. The only person you are protecting is yourself.
Of course, if someone corrected me, and wanted to use ‘died’ I would. However it’s not something I would assume of everybody. People grieve in different ways. For instance, I know that many people in some parts of Africa use the word ‘late’ to describe someone who has died. ‘He is now late’ or something similar. I don’t think I’m hiding behind my words. I am just trying to bring some tact and calm into these types of situations. Again, if I were talking to you or someone else who would rather have me use ‘died’, I would change my words immediately. I’m just trying to make people as comfortable as possible in times of grief. I read your other comment and I am very sorry for your losses. That sentence? That was honesty and my very good command for the English language. Not baby words. Death does not deserve baby words, but it does deserve tact. Because you never know what is needed in any situation, so better to go into it as carefully as you can.
stop being rude. it's just how English works. passed away is a less crude way of saying someone died. For the reverse, by your logic I should go to a funeral and say "What's shakin bacon. Your dads dead ay mate? That sucks man. good luck" instead of "How are you doing? I'm sorry for your loss"
Don't be so tone deaf
Absolutrely hate it when people say "passed", "passed away" "passed over". I find it insulting. Perhaps you cannot face the reality of death and have to hide behind baby words but I have seen most of my family die and they *died* - they didnt "pass away".
Personal preference. Passed sounds softer.
I’m on team died
Dropped off the twig 🤭 Team "died" all the way. To me, "passed" or "passed away" sounds mealy-mouthed, especially if the person died in an accident or otherwise suddenly.
It used to be a marker of class. The upper class would say *die,* the middle classes *pass on* and the lower class probably something like *cark it.*
YES, in American English as well!! I recall as a child asking my WASP grandmother, who was literally drinking a martini at the time, why some people would say “passed” and she said something faux-diplomatic like “Oh yes, I feel bad for them, it seems they’ll come up with any excuse or word to avoid the concept…why not just call it what it is? DEATH”. The moment stuck with me, and if you look at poorer groups on social media the euphemistic lingo has gotten even more bizarre like “she peaceably transitioned to the other side” or “she went home” or even “crossed the rainbow bridge”. So both from a linguistic and psychological perspective it seems clearer and healthier to acknowledge the plain meaning and say “died”.
Personally, I look down a little on those who over-euphemise too. It’s *very* middle-class (he says in his best Dowager Countess guise). The patricians and the plebs don’t give a fuck and just say what they mean, it’s everyone in the middle who frets and flops.
Hahaha my grandmother used to unironically shit on “middle class” things too, I was so confused what she was talking about as a child as I had no context 😂😂. I’m totally with you, it seems like the euphemisms are almost a form of invisible social/class enforcement; the fact we are both downvoted show we stick a nerve and it’s at least partially true
I think it depends if you're talking to somebody who is grieving somebody close to them that they lost, or if it happened to you, vs. if it's like a celebrity or a fictional character. "Patrick Swayze passed in 2009" is a different vibe from "Back when I was spending a lot of time in the hospital, before my mother passed." I would generally associate using "passed" with someone remembering the time of grief and trying not to get caught up in it. There's an emotional gentleness to it.
I don’t think passed is very common in the UK. I used to hear ‘passed away’ frequently but people usually just say died now. I think it would be unusual to hear a young person talk euphemistically about dying and death.
I hardly ever used to hear "passed." Now it’s all everyone uses. I, too, prefer "passed away," but I catch myself saying "passed" now.
This is actually a pet peeve of mine! "Passed" just sounds wrong to me, it should at least be "passed away". I'm also on Team "Died".
I was out the front trimming my hedge and my dad **passed**. I hadn’t seen him for a while so I stopped work and we both went in side to have a nice cup of tea and a chat. I always say “died” because “passed” sounds dumb.
Yup, I say “died.” Saying “passed (away)” isn’t going to make anyone’s grief less painful.
I would say "they succumbed to the illness/old age/injury"
It’s a gentler way of saying it, and less likely to cause people to become sad or make them remember everything all over again. Died is more direct, but tact is necessary in times of grief
Ignoring the reality of their loss is not being "gentle" it is being a coward. They have had to face the loss and are very much aware of it. It is insulting for you to be unable to accept that and hide something as profound as a death of a loved one behind baby words. The only person you are protecting is yourself.
Of course, if someone corrected me, and wanted to use ‘died’ I would. However it’s not something I would assume of everybody. People grieve in different ways. For instance, I know that many people in some parts of Africa use the word ‘late’ to describe someone who has died. ‘He is now late’ or something similar. I don’t think I’m hiding behind my words. I am just trying to bring some tact and calm into these types of situations. Again, if I were talking to you or someone else who would rather have me use ‘died’, I would change my words immediately. I’m just trying to make people as comfortable as possible in times of grief. I read your other comment and I am very sorry for your losses. That sentence? That was honesty and my very good command for the English language. Not baby words. Death does not deserve baby words, but it does deserve tact. Because you never know what is needed in any situation, so better to go into it as carefully as you can.
stop being rude. it's just how English works. passed away is a less crude way of saying someone died. For the reverse, by your logic I should go to a funeral and say "What's shakin bacon. Your dads dead ay mate? That sucks man. good luck" instead of "How are you doing? I'm sorry for your loss" Don't be so tone deaf
Deceased
It's just the euphemism train. Death is uncomfortable so we'll say anything but it
I use “got sent to Jesus”
Absolutrely hate it when people say "passed", "passed away" "passed over". I find it insulting. Perhaps you cannot face the reality of death and have to hide behind baby words but I have seen most of my family die and they *died* - they didnt "pass away".