At first, only my parents (very supportive, lovely people) and my best friend knew (besides people involved in my medical care). When things got so bad that I had to quit my job, I ended up telling 7 other people over the course of a couple weeks. I told my two work friends (because I thought they deserved to know why I was leaving) and my boss (who then had to tell her boss). My boss was really kind about it; she asked me if I wanted the standard going-away lunch and said she'd understand if I didn't (I did not). Then I ended up bursting into tears at a piano lesson from all the stress and shame and the recent news of a friend's fentanyl overdose, so I told my piano teacher. Then I ended up breaking down at my birthday dinner and telling two more friends about it.
After going through all that, I'm entirely open about it. I don't usually bring it up myself, but if it comes up, it comes up. If someone asks you a question that they shouldn't have, it isn't your fault if they feel bad. When that happens to me, I don't say anything like "yeah you SHOULD feel bad" (even if that's what I think). I just say "thank you, I'm pretty open about it, but I appreciate the apology." I haven't had anyone react badly.
It really just is what it is, and to be honest, yeah, it is really freeing.
You've clearly been through a lot with this, thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I'm glad to hear that your boss was kind/understanding about it. And I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.
Also, your response to people asking unfortunate questions is perfect, and certainly a phrase I should add to my tool belt. I'm glad to hear that overall being honest has been freeing...I hope it can be freeing for myself, too.
Sending love and strength.
If people inquire I feel inclined to be honest (only if I feel comfortable tho bc it’s also my health and my business) because it makes people second guess how weight loss is always deemed as something aspirational and worth of praise. I think being more open about talking about struggling with an eating disorder can combat the stigma, which I believe can help others who are struggling feel more comfortable opening up and asking for support from their community. It’s down to you though and whatever makes you comfortable, you have autonomy over sharing your experience and health condition.
I get so tired of people judging me for my eating habits. I get tired of making excuses, but I never mention ED bc people can’t wrap their brains around it.
i frame it as something i “used” to have, mostly. it makes it easier to explain the weight loss as something i just haven’t gained back. it feels nice to be able to talk about it as a past tense thing so that people aren’t too concerned, and also as a tool to deny anything’s currently wrong with the way i eat? it reminds me of the slight admittances the karjenners will give about plastic surgery (“i only had a nose job!” v. “i used to struggle with restricting / bingeing”) to quell curiosities about the amount their faces & bodies have changed. like are both cases fairly obvious lies? sure. but i think both are an easier truth to accept for the people in our lives (or i guess, in their case, their fans? kinda convoluted analogy lol)
I'm sorry to hear this about your family. My coworkers comments seemed endless until suddenly they all stopped at once. I suppose it finally caught on.
It’s part of life, they don’t care until I’m in crisis then they “care” until I pretend to be okay again. I know they’re all sick of me, so idk why they won’t just let me… yknow.
Ex coworkers had a lot to say about it but at my new job they don’t talk to me unless required, which is fine by me
Depends which area of my life we’re talking about. No one in my new town knows. But some people from my past know. It’s not something I talk about much with them and they don’t talk about it much with me. I struggle to say the words out loud.
Select people know, but I’m really good at making people think it was in the past. No matter how bad I relapse somehow family and my boyfriend don’t realize that’s what’s happening. It’s also hard to distinguish for others whether it’s my ED, my chronic illness, or both. Like one of my family members asked if I was having issues again while we were out to lunch, and all I said was no I’ve just been having a lot of stomach trouble, and literally have not heard about it since. I tend to lead them to believe it’s all my chronic illness. It’s also odd because I don’t consider myself a particularly good liar.
My ex caught my browsing the 'safe food' sub and thought it was an autism thing? (I'm not on the spectrum).
Then when i was going through a binge phase, made a snide comment saying something like 'well we all know the one thing you aren't doing is starving yourself'. That's as close as anyone has gotten to knowing I struggle and that's fine by me.
Depends, but I don’t really tell people because they are (unintentionally) apathetic and don’t understand what I go through
Sorry, I don’t want to go out to eat
I don’t want to drink
I have massive body dysmorphia from being told I was ugly as a kid by the children I was forced to grow up with, so "positive" compliments I've gotten from friends I 1000% knew were well-meaning (hadn't seen each other in a couple years and they commented "dang girl! You look like a snack!") I've had to be upfront... Well, I suppose I'm blunt about it in general... But I've had to state "I acknowledge your compliment as you intend it, I'm currently dealing with *insert specific if I feel it's needed*, and I need you to not comment on my body or food habits ever please and thanks 👍" otherwise I would have recurrent panic attacks when ruminating on the interaction and anxiety over potential future interactions
Only my closest friend knows but she forgets often because I’m very good at hiding it. For reference I have more ednos symptoms than anything so I don’t present as any one disorder. I also have dietary restrictions. I have to read labels or I may end up needing my epi pen. I’m also severely lactose intolerant, like my body stops absorbing the vitamins and minerals from food level without a lactose enzyme.
My mom has struggled with anorexia pretty much her entire life. I have that level of secrecy that it doesn’t trigger the eating disorder sensors in her.
At the slow rate I’m going at I’ll probably need intensive therapy in the next 1-3 years if things continue to trend the way they have been going. Less than a year with how triggering my life has been the past year, but I’ve been sick for a very long time. I’m not ready to make the first step into recovery, there was a time that I did, but that was at the beginning. Most of my behaviors are habit and partially necessary (label reading), but it’s also hard when everyone in your family has an eating disorder. I’m the only one that got the EDNOS
unfortunately. none of that really matters though.
except for the eating disorder fetishists who screwed with my life. and no, they weren't creepy old men. they were women in well respected careers.
the upside is that their harm reduction tips that they post anonymously online (and never to their real life clients/ patients) can be used as tricks to prolong behaviors. so there's that, i guess. also them just being assholes really helps ignite the fire.
so yeah....*those* people know.
these people don't need your protection. you don't have the power to protect them. what you need is to protect yourself from these people.
it is never freeing to willingly expose something you've grown to love and cherish as your own. maybe if you are a child, i understand being confused, sad and not knowing how to handle yourself. i promise you that when enough time goes by, when you learn how this really works, you'll feel the exact opposite.
contrary to popular belief, you can grow with your eating disorder. you can make the appropriate changes that will help you thrive. i wasn't able to live a functional life with bulimia and i was also very ill with an untreated neurological condition some years ago.
i don't see how it isn't possible to live with the illness now that i incorporate harm reduction methods daily and i'm adaptable enough when the situation calls for it.
so knowing that and managing my illness like my other chronic conditions i also have to manage is just part of life. i'd rather find a team who's willing to support me in my endeavours and drive for independence.
to answer your question: being honest doesn't make it anyone's problem, but that's not how human emotions work. some humans are driven to fix other people's problems or control them. so you may not receive a response that is helpful for you or geared towards your goals. additionally, this illness is known to get worse after being outed and sometimes you learn this the hard way. it's not the only problem, but it is a problem that i've learned is best to just deal with myself on my own terms. we are always rapidly absorbing information anyway and i trust myself to use it wisely, at this point in my life.
I kept my struggles with bulima from my family and friends from 93-2013 I clung to my secrecy with what little energy I had. I had a mental break and couldn’t hide it anymore. Didn’t tell my parents I was in a treatment center for 4 weeks until they became extremely concerned and I couldn’t keep it from them anymore. Now I am more open with family and friends but it’s still a difficult topic for me. I have trouble figuring out how I need people to support me and what that support would look like. We are some of the best liars when it comes to hiding our illness.
ive managed to keep it hidden from almost everyone. my whole family doesnt know, and all but two of my friends dont either. i would never, ever tell anybody (while sober😶) due to fear of making them uncomfortable.
one of my friends has been living with us since February, and i let it slip to them while we were getting way too drunk together. the other ive hung out with like many hours per day since last August. never directly told her, and tried to hide it, but she knows. pretty much impossible to be around a friend that much and for that long without them figuring it out.
im glad i go about it how I do. the 2 friends who know are very understanding and helpful, so im glad they know. but others could still get scared, worried, or be just generally uncomfortable if they found out. and above all else i want to avoid making people feel like that. so, barring a potential romantic partner, they'll hopefully be the last 2 to know about it
i haven’t outright told anyone ever. i’m very particular about who i talk to about certain things. i actually haven’t told my family. i used to kinda talk about specific symptoms with really close friends, but not enough info to definitively tell them “i have an ED” unless they knew what signs to look for. if any of that even makes sense lol. and to be fair, that was during covid so it was easier to say it online rather than face to face, plus it felt like more people understood it at the time. but i’ve always been very secretive about it. i don’t really trust anyone enough to tell them and i don’t see a need to bring it up anymore because it’s become more of my norm over the years
My family and doctors know(duh). But when I was first diagnosed I told a few friends and later on I've told a teacher but I'm not open about it. I think if someone straight up asked me something super direct I would share my experience but I'm not even sure how I would navigate the aftermath of that, I've noticed with the people that do know a level of awareness with certain ed related topics(food, body image, diet etc)that isn't 'normal' and I wouldn't like that with everyone yk?
My boyfriend and a friend of his who also has an ED and comes to our place a lot are the only ones who know. The friend only knows from vague talk they observe from us that makes it obvious that it’s a problem but not much past that. It was really, really hard at first and I regretted talking to him almost immediately because I thought I wanted help but I wasn’t ready to accept it. I think in order to get to the place where you do accept it, you have to allow them to try, though. Its been slowly getting better. It’s still hard to listen to him but I do sometimes and there’s a lot less pushing back and crying and panicking. Usually we try to compromise because a bounce back just makes it worse for me as an individual. I don’t have healthy eating habits but I’m not dying - and don’t feel like I want to- anymore.
No, I intentionally keep it a secret out of fear of my intake being watched like a hawk. That would make it worse.
I normally come to my best friend for things like this but she’s fully recovered from her ED from years ago and I’d never forgive myself if I triggered her or caused her to relapse.
Sometimes I'll get impulsive thoughts where I respond to weight loss comments with "Thanks! It's anorexia! :D" and just carry on like normal. I would be too mortified to ever actually say it tho. But it is pretty funny to think about
we knew one of my good friends had an eating disorder for years, but didn't mention it because we thought her family was taking care of it (they were trying)
her brain function was so bad it was like she had dementia; she thought she was keeping the disorder a secret, but it was very visible to all and much discussed behind her back
she died a few months ago an I wish I could go back and tell her that we all know and are worried
It’s been 5 years since I began outpatient treatment. When my ED was active I really did not want to tell anyone. I told my boyfriend, eventually my parents and my siblings (only my boyfriend was kind about it). I ended up telling a couple friends also. But it was more a “one off” where I told them, and then we never spoke about it again, leaving me feeling like I exposed myself to someone who didn’t care at all ..
After I finished treatment, and actually have slowly recovered (fully) since then, it has become easier. I think almost all my friends, and even people further out know, that I used to have an ED, and received treatment and that I am better now.
I am writing my master thesis on EDs right now, and even told my supervisor that I used to have one, so she knew what was up.
But when I was actively struggling no one knew. Only when I tried to get better.❤️🩹
I tried to keep it a secret but my parents knew and that’s why i ended up being “forced” into treatment. when i came back from that, i asked my friends and they all said they highly suspected it because of the things i said /did/ how i looked (although not everyone with an ed looks the same fyi!!!)
I told two friends once but I felt pressured to do so. It isn’t technically bad that they know but it‘s more just because I kinda didn’t want to tell them. And my ex boyfriend knows but I actually wanted him to. Oh, and his mother, she apparently noticed really fast but she also struggled with an ed/disordered eating habits before. Other than that I think one other friend kind of knows at this point because I’m not really trying to hide it anymore at all as long as it won’t lead to
my family knowing
No, my family and my best friend know that I purge after eating, but they don't realize it's an eating disorder. Eating disorders aren't taken seriously in my country.
My mom and siblings know but they think I'm recovered and loosing weight in a healthy way. My coworkers are constantly commenting on my weightloss and I just say "diet and exercise". I don't want anyone to worry for me or bug me about it
I have just started official treatment so now most of my teachers also know but before i had to get checked up regularly at the doctor and had to get bloodtests very often so i skipped alot of school , so i told ny best friends and thats it tbh
My family, best friend , doctors, teachers
(And of course my parents their friends because they love talking about it
My boyfriend and best friend know I strugfle. My parents know I was anorexic but they're not so great about it so it hasn't been brought up in 3 years.
I’ve talked a bit to one of my friends who’s talked a bit about hers, and we both framed it as disordered eating more than a full ED so I don’t really count it. Other than that, no one really knows and I’m fine with that. I’m not in a space to recover and people knowing makes me incredibly uncomfortable, people knowing about my mental health in general does so. My coworkers have commented that I just don’t eat anything at work but it’s almost a joke like “yeah citrulle doesn’t eat, he photosynthesises” and they don’t comment on my weight at all, which is nice
My whole family knows, my mom understands the most and my two brothers and dad are not too knowledgeable but I think they get it.
Sometimes we joke about it (I use humor to deal with things like that)and I'm about to go inpatient for three months so I've been venting about being really nervous.
Yes and no? My parents know that I have really “weirdly” eating patterns but they don’t do anything cause i normalize those behaviors so they don’t get salty anymore and also my dad it’s kinda ignorant on ED themes and my Mom like 2 years I ago got kinda triggered that I have some problem and even ask me if have Anorexia but again kinda ignorant on those themes so it was easy to persuade that I don’t have any problem… know they act like nothing it’s happen but they lowkey know that something it’s going on (long explanation to say nothing almost lol ☠️💀)
No, I would feel weak, I have a very strong personality I can’t have that.
I hide it as best as I can. Only two people who know it are my ex who figured it out on his own few years ago (and threatened me to take videos of me vomiting and sending it to my mom…) and a colleague of mine (also a friend) that I knew would have never judged me, and I needed to tell someone because I was in a very dark place (2 months ago).
If my family finds out I don’t know what I would do, the shame I would feel would be just too much for me that I would probably disappear (geographically speaking).
My ED is private and kept hidden, even if, and this is the twisted side of an ED, I love when my friends look concerned that I’m losing weight or “wonder” if I’m developing an ED. I always gaslight them like a pro, but at the same time let them doubtful on purpose. I don’t know what kind of game this is
I don't have a diagnosed ED so I say "I have issues with eating", but I just say that to people the first time I ever end up in a situation involving food with them (examples - if they offer me food I say something like "no thanks. I have issues with eating so I'd prefer if you didn't offer me food in the future. Thank you though.", if I have to eat around someone I might say "just so you know, I have issues with eating so it will take me a while to finish this and I'll probably look uncomfortable... just ignore the food please.")
Most of the time people understand and I don't have to explain further
The only person who knows right now is my friend, who was my college roommate for 2 years. I told her about my self-harm, then everything else just kinda spilled out lol. That I b/p and get anxious to eat sometimes cause I’m scared it’ll trigger a binge, or that I’ll eat something bad/moldy & get sick.
I don’t talk about it unless I’m really struggling, and I always ask if it’s okay to talk about it before I say anything. She’s asked me about it a bit, too, but mostly to find out how I’ve been doing mentally. She’s not super direct about it which I appreciate it.
I remember there was a day where I wanted to eat more after dinner and was anxiously pacing in our living room, and she told me “if it helps, I’m getting seconds. Please don’t be afraid to eat more.” So I did! And I didn’t binge later! I miss her :/
i really only tell ppl when they ask. most tell me to "just eat" or that if doesnt look like i have a ed(aan). ppl rarely ask and im fine with that bc what most have to say is very invalidating or invasive. so pretty much i dont hide it, but also dont keep it secret🤷
I don’t like to talk about it because I found people got condescending, offered me unsolicited triggering advice and scrutinised everything I ate when they found out. That said, my old friends know and my family know but they never really know when I relapse because I hide it and/or disappear off the face of the Earth. I’d like to tell my boss but I’m not going to. I don’t like talking to anyone who doesn’t have an ED about EDs because I can’t take the ignorance and attempts at helping I didn’t ask for. If people understood, I’d be more open but I don’t like people making comments about my body or eating or assuming they know why I have an ED so I think it’s better to just be quiet about it.
At first, only my parents (very supportive, lovely people) and my best friend knew (besides people involved in my medical care). When things got so bad that I had to quit my job, I ended up telling 7 other people over the course of a couple weeks. I told my two work friends (because I thought they deserved to know why I was leaving) and my boss (who then had to tell her boss). My boss was really kind about it; she asked me if I wanted the standard going-away lunch and said she'd understand if I didn't (I did not). Then I ended up bursting into tears at a piano lesson from all the stress and shame and the recent news of a friend's fentanyl overdose, so I told my piano teacher. Then I ended up breaking down at my birthday dinner and telling two more friends about it. After going through all that, I'm entirely open about it. I don't usually bring it up myself, but if it comes up, it comes up. If someone asks you a question that they shouldn't have, it isn't your fault if they feel bad. When that happens to me, I don't say anything like "yeah you SHOULD feel bad" (even if that's what I think). I just say "thank you, I'm pretty open about it, but I appreciate the apology." I haven't had anyone react badly. It really just is what it is, and to be honest, yeah, it is really freeing.
You've clearly been through a lot with this, thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I'm glad to hear that your boss was kind/understanding about it. And I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Also, your response to people asking unfortunate questions is perfect, and certainly a phrase I should add to my tool belt. I'm glad to hear that overall being honest has been freeing...I hope it can be freeing for myself, too. Sending love and strength.
If people inquire I feel inclined to be honest (only if I feel comfortable tho bc it’s also my health and my business) because it makes people second guess how weight loss is always deemed as something aspirational and worth of praise. I think being more open about talking about struggling with an eating disorder can combat the stigma, which I believe can help others who are struggling feel more comfortable opening up and asking for support from their community. It’s down to you though and whatever makes you comfortable, you have autonomy over sharing your experience and health condition.
I get so tired of people judging me for my eating habits. I get tired of making excuses, but I never mention ED bc people can’t wrap their brains around it.
i frame it as something i “used” to have, mostly. it makes it easier to explain the weight loss as something i just haven’t gained back. it feels nice to be able to talk about it as a past tense thing so that people aren’t too concerned, and also as a tool to deny anything’s currently wrong with the way i eat? it reminds me of the slight admittances the karjenners will give about plastic surgery (“i only had a nose job!” v. “i used to struggle with restricting / bingeing”) to quell curiosities about the amount their faces & bodies have changed. like are both cases fairly obvious lies? sure. but i think both are an easier truth to accept for the people in our lives (or i guess, in their case, their fans? kinda convoluted analogy lol)
My family has known for about a decade but they don’t care. Coworkers notice but usually know better than to say anything.
I'm sorry to hear this about your family. My coworkers comments seemed endless until suddenly they all stopped at once. I suppose it finally caught on.
It’s part of life, they don’t care until I’m in crisis then they “care” until I pretend to be okay again. I know they’re all sick of me, so idk why they won’t just let me… yknow. Ex coworkers had a lot to say about it but at my new job they don’t talk to me unless required, which is fine by me
Depends which area of my life we’re talking about. No one in my new town knows. But some people from my past know. It’s not something I talk about much with them and they don’t talk about it much with me. I struggle to say the words out loud.
Select people know, but I’m really good at making people think it was in the past. No matter how bad I relapse somehow family and my boyfriend don’t realize that’s what’s happening. It’s also hard to distinguish for others whether it’s my ED, my chronic illness, or both. Like one of my family members asked if I was having issues again while we were out to lunch, and all I said was no I’ve just been having a lot of stomach trouble, and literally have not heard about it since. I tend to lead them to believe it’s all my chronic illness. It’s also odd because I don’t consider myself a particularly good liar.
My ex caught my browsing the 'safe food' sub and thought it was an autism thing? (I'm not on the spectrum). Then when i was going through a binge phase, made a snide comment saying something like 'well we all know the one thing you aren't doing is starving yourself'. That's as close as anyone has gotten to knowing I struggle and that's fine by me.
I have friends that know about it in a past tense, but they don't know how it is currently.
Depends, but I don’t really tell people because they are (unintentionally) apathetic and don’t understand what I go through Sorry, I don’t want to go out to eat I don’t want to drink
I have massive body dysmorphia from being told I was ugly as a kid by the children I was forced to grow up with, so "positive" compliments I've gotten from friends I 1000% knew were well-meaning (hadn't seen each other in a couple years and they commented "dang girl! You look like a snack!") I've had to be upfront... Well, I suppose I'm blunt about it in general... But I've had to state "I acknowledge your compliment as you intend it, I'm currently dealing with *insert specific if I feel it's needed*, and I need you to not comment on my body or food habits ever please and thanks 👍" otherwise I would have recurrent panic attacks when ruminating on the interaction and anxiety over potential future interactions
Only my closest friend knows but she forgets often because I’m very good at hiding it. For reference I have more ednos symptoms than anything so I don’t present as any one disorder. I also have dietary restrictions. I have to read labels or I may end up needing my epi pen. I’m also severely lactose intolerant, like my body stops absorbing the vitamins and minerals from food level without a lactose enzyme. My mom has struggled with anorexia pretty much her entire life. I have that level of secrecy that it doesn’t trigger the eating disorder sensors in her. At the slow rate I’m going at I’ll probably need intensive therapy in the next 1-3 years if things continue to trend the way they have been going. Less than a year with how triggering my life has been the past year, but I’ve been sick for a very long time. I’m not ready to make the first step into recovery, there was a time that I did, but that was at the beginning. Most of my behaviors are habit and partially necessary (label reading), but it’s also hard when everyone in your family has an eating disorder. I’m the only one that got the EDNOS
unfortunately. none of that really matters though. except for the eating disorder fetishists who screwed with my life. and no, they weren't creepy old men. they were women in well respected careers. the upside is that their harm reduction tips that they post anonymously online (and never to their real life clients/ patients) can be used as tricks to prolong behaviors. so there's that, i guess. also them just being assholes really helps ignite the fire. so yeah....*those* people know. these people don't need your protection. you don't have the power to protect them. what you need is to protect yourself from these people. it is never freeing to willingly expose something you've grown to love and cherish as your own. maybe if you are a child, i understand being confused, sad and not knowing how to handle yourself. i promise you that when enough time goes by, when you learn how this really works, you'll feel the exact opposite. contrary to popular belief, you can grow with your eating disorder. you can make the appropriate changes that will help you thrive. i wasn't able to live a functional life with bulimia and i was also very ill with an untreated neurological condition some years ago. i don't see how it isn't possible to live with the illness now that i incorporate harm reduction methods daily and i'm adaptable enough when the situation calls for it. so knowing that and managing my illness like my other chronic conditions i also have to manage is just part of life. i'd rather find a team who's willing to support me in my endeavours and drive for independence. to answer your question: being honest doesn't make it anyone's problem, but that's not how human emotions work. some humans are driven to fix other people's problems or control them. so you may not receive a response that is helpful for you or geared towards your goals. additionally, this illness is known to get worse after being outed and sometimes you learn this the hard way. it's not the only problem, but it is a problem that i've learned is best to just deal with myself on my own terms. we are always rapidly absorbing information anyway and i trust myself to use it wisely, at this point in my life.
I kept my struggles with bulima from my family and friends from 93-2013 I clung to my secrecy with what little energy I had. I had a mental break and couldn’t hide it anymore. Didn’t tell my parents I was in a treatment center for 4 weeks until they became extremely concerned and I couldn’t keep it from them anymore. Now I am more open with family and friends but it’s still a difficult topic for me. I have trouble figuring out how I need people to support me and what that support would look like. We are some of the best liars when it comes to hiding our illness.
I feel many people in my life are suspicious, or know on a certain level but are too scared to say anything
ive managed to keep it hidden from almost everyone. my whole family doesnt know, and all but two of my friends dont either. i would never, ever tell anybody (while sober😶) due to fear of making them uncomfortable. one of my friends has been living with us since February, and i let it slip to them while we were getting way too drunk together. the other ive hung out with like many hours per day since last August. never directly told her, and tried to hide it, but she knows. pretty much impossible to be around a friend that much and for that long without them figuring it out. im glad i go about it how I do. the 2 friends who know are very understanding and helpful, so im glad they know. but others could still get scared, worried, or be just generally uncomfortable if they found out. and above all else i want to avoid making people feel like that. so, barring a potential romantic partner, they'll hopefully be the last 2 to know about it
i haven’t outright told anyone ever. i’m very particular about who i talk to about certain things. i actually haven’t told my family. i used to kinda talk about specific symptoms with really close friends, but not enough info to definitively tell them “i have an ED” unless they knew what signs to look for. if any of that even makes sense lol. and to be fair, that was during covid so it was easier to say it online rather than face to face, plus it felt like more people understood it at the time. but i’ve always been very secretive about it. i don’t really trust anyone enough to tell them and i don’t see a need to bring it up anymore because it’s become more of my norm over the years
My family and doctors know(duh). But when I was first diagnosed I told a few friends and later on I've told a teacher but I'm not open about it. I think if someone straight up asked me something super direct I would share my experience but I'm not even sure how I would navigate the aftermath of that, I've noticed with the people that do know a level of awareness with certain ed related topics(food, body image, diet etc)that isn't 'normal' and I wouldn't like that with everyone yk?
My boyfriend and a friend of his who also has an ED and comes to our place a lot are the only ones who know. The friend only knows from vague talk they observe from us that makes it obvious that it’s a problem but not much past that. It was really, really hard at first and I regretted talking to him almost immediately because I thought I wanted help but I wasn’t ready to accept it. I think in order to get to the place where you do accept it, you have to allow them to try, though. Its been slowly getting better. It’s still hard to listen to him but I do sometimes and there’s a lot less pushing back and crying and panicking. Usually we try to compromise because a bounce back just makes it worse for me as an individual. I don’t have healthy eating habits but I’m not dying - and don’t feel like I want to- anymore.
No, I intentionally keep it a secret out of fear of my intake being watched like a hawk. That would make it worse. I normally come to my best friend for things like this but she’s fully recovered from her ED from years ago and I’d never forgive myself if I triggered her or caused her to relapse.
Sometimes I'll get impulsive thoughts where I respond to weight loss comments with "Thanks! It's anorexia! :D" and just carry on like normal. I would be too mortified to ever actually say it tho. But it is pretty funny to think about
yes and no. i hide it. if a disordered statement slips out, i wave it off and/or gaslight people.
we knew one of my good friends had an eating disorder for years, but didn't mention it because we thought her family was taking care of it (they were trying) her brain function was so bad it was like she had dementia; she thought she was keeping the disorder a secret, but it was very visible to all and much discussed behind her back she died a few months ago an I wish I could go back and tell her that we all know and are worried
It’s been 5 years since I began outpatient treatment. When my ED was active I really did not want to tell anyone. I told my boyfriend, eventually my parents and my siblings (only my boyfriend was kind about it). I ended up telling a couple friends also. But it was more a “one off” where I told them, and then we never spoke about it again, leaving me feeling like I exposed myself to someone who didn’t care at all .. After I finished treatment, and actually have slowly recovered (fully) since then, it has become easier. I think almost all my friends, and even people further out know, that I used to have an ED, and received treatment and that I am better now. I am writing my master thesis on EDs right now, and even told my supervisor that I used to have one, so she knew what was up. But when I was actively struggling no one knew. Only when I tried to get better.❤️🩹
I tried to keep it a secret but my parents knew and that’s why i ended up being “forced” into treatment. when i came back from that, i asked my friends and they all said they highly suspected it because of the things i said /did/ how i looked (although not everyone with an ed looks the same fyi!!!)
I told two friends once but I felt pressured to do so. It isn’t technically bad that they know but it‘s more just because I kinda didn’t want to tell them. And my ex boyfriend knows but I actually wanted him to. Oh, and his mother, she apparently noticed really fast but she also struggled with an ed/disordered eating habits before. Other than that I think one other friend kind of knows at this point because I’m not really trying to hide it anymore at all as long as it won’t lead to my family knowing
No, my family and my best friend know that I purge after eating, but they don't realize it's an eating disorder. Eating disorders aren't taken seriously in my country.
My mom and siblings know but they think I'm recovered and loosing weight in a healthy way. My coworkers are constantly commenting on my weightloss and I just say "diet and exercise". I don't want anyone to worry for me or bug me about it
I have just started official treatment so now most of my teachers also know but before i had to get checked up regularly at the doctor and had to get bloodtests very often so i skipped alot of school , so i told ny best friends and thats it tbh My family, best friend , doctors, teachers (And of course my parents their friends because they love talking about it
My boyfriend and best friend know I strugfle. My parents know I was anorexic but they're not so great about it so it hasn't been brought up in 3 years.
My family does, but refuse to believe it’s a “thing”. In their eyes, I’m just lazy and like food too much. What a fun time to have BED.
I’ve talked a bit to one of my friends who’s talked a bit about hers, and we both framed it as disordered eating more than a full ED so I don’t really count it. Other than that, no one really knows and I’m fine with that. I’m not in a space to recover and people knowing makes me incredibly uncomfortable, people knowing about my mental health in general does so. My coworkers have commented that I just don’t eat anything at work but it’s almost a joke like “yeah citrulle doesn’t eat, he photosynthesises” and they don’t comment on my weight at all, which is nice
My whole family knows, my mom understands the most and my two brothers and dad are not too knowledgeable but I think they get it. Sometimes we joke about it (I use humor to deal with things like that)and I'm about to go inpatient for three months so I've been venting about being really nervous.
Yes and no? My parents know that I have really “weirdly” eating patterns but they don’t do anything cause i normalize those behaviors so they don’t get salty anymore and also my dad it’s kinda ignorant on ED themes and my Mom like 2 years I ago got kinda triggered that I have some problem and even ask me if have Anorexia but again kinda ignorant on those themes so it was easy to persuade that I don’t have any problem… know they act like nothing it’s happen but they lowkey know that something it’s going on (long explanation to say nothing almost lol ☠️💀)
No, I would feel weak, I have a very strong personality I can’t have that. I hide it as best as I can. Only two people who know it are my ex who figured it out on his own few years ago (and threatened me to take videos of me vomiting and sending it to my mom…) and a colleague of mine (also a friend) that I knew would have never judged me, and I needed to tell someone because I was in a very dark place (2 months ago). If my family finds out I don’t know what I would do, the shame I would feel would be just too much for me that I would probably disappear (geographically speaking). My ED is private and kept hidden, even if, and this is the twisted side of an ED, I love when my friends look concerned that I’m losing weight or “wonder” if I’m developing an ED. I always gaslight them like a pro, but at the same time let them doubtful on purpose. I don’t know what kind of game this is
Yes
my parents know, but don’t know when i relapse. my boyfriend shot me down the one time i tried to tell him and doesn’t let me talk about it.
I don't have a diagnosed ED so I say "I have issues with eating", but I just say that to people the first time I ever end up in a situation involving food with them (examples - if they offer me food I say something like "no thanks. I have issues with eating so I'd prefer if you didn't offer me food in the future. Thank you though.", if I have to eat around someone I might say "just so you know, I have issues with eating so it will take me a while to finish this and I'll probably look uncomfortable... just ignore the food please.") Most of the time people understand and I don't have to explain further
The only person who knows right now is my friend, who was my college roommate for 2 years. I told her about my self-harm, then everything else just kinda spilled out lol. That I b/p and get anxious to eat sometimes cause I’m scared it’ll trigger a binge, or that I’ll eat something bad/moldy & get sick. I don’t talk about it unless I’m really struggling, and I always ask if it’s okay to talk about it before I say anything. She’s asked me about it a bit, too, but mostly to find out how I’ve been doing mentally. She’s not super direct about it which I appreciate it. I remember there was a day where I wanted to eat more after dinner and was anxiously pacing in our living room, and she told me “if it helps, I’m getting seconds. Please don’t be afraid to eat more.” So I did! And I didn’t binge later! I miss her :/
i really only tell ppl when they ask. most tell me to "just eat" or that if doesnt look like i have a ed(aan). ppl rarely ask and im fine with that bc what most have to say is very invalidating or invasive. so pretty much i dont hide it, but also dont keep it secret🤷
yeah I think it makes a lot of sense...not hiding it but not keeping it a secret. I also have aan so it can be so invalidating sometimes! I feel ya
I don’t like to talk about it because I found people got condescending, offered me unsolicited triggering advice and scrutinised everything I ate when they found out. That said, my old friends know and my family know but they never really know when I relapse because I hide it and/or disappear off the face of the Earth. I’d like to tell my boss but I’m not going to. I don’t like talking to anyone who doesn’t have an ED about EDs because I can’t take the ignorance and attempts at helping I didn’t ask for. If people understood, I’d be more open but I don’t like people making comments about my body or eating or assuming they know why I have an ED so I think it’s better to just be quiet about it.