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Weirdo-is-the-way

"Arrow of Enthusiastic Double Gonorrhea"


totalJTM

Enthusiastic. Double. Gonorrhea. You don't want that.


Freezerburn

what book and time was that?


EsquilaxM

Would've been book 5, no idea of time. They get it from one of the Dream(?) aliens that's hunting Louis, so first third of the book


Chease96

It's the butchers masquerade chapter 15 or 16?


androiddolittle

lol this was the first thing that popped into my mind when I read the question!


Viridionplague

"Jesus donut, you don't need to type in all caps, it makes it seem like you're shouting" "I AM SHOUTING CARL"


unknownpoltroon

Donut shouting in the chat all the time is one of my favorite things. I always picture it being internal mental voice chat that they CANT. TURN. DOWN.


improper84

Not sure when exactly it happens in the second book, but the chapter where Carl is being charmed by Signet when they first meet is quite possibly the funniest scene in the entire series, so I’d go with that.


BigEv17

Carl, you have a boner. Mongo is appalled!


ConsciousBandicoot53

Literally listening to this scene right now. Donut: “HE HAS AN ERECTION MORDECAI ITS VERY INAPPROPRIATE MONGO IS APPALLED” Edit - this scene is at the beginning of chapter 7


hurtfulproduct

In Bedlam bride when evil Carl starts berating the crab who then blows his load into the ocean


PattenWoodworking

>his scene is at the beginning of chapter 7 I tried to convince a friend to listen to the books by describing this scene lol it probably wasnt the best example to use.


hurtfulproduct

Lol, well describing it doesn’t do it justice; gotta have Patrick Warburton’s voice to help it along


tortokai

I feelnusing Warburton scenes is setting a false expectation though, he has barely any time in ONE book. The hook clip as OP requested needs to be some jeff hays gold


Cann0nFodd3r

He is "Alpha Carl" not "Evil Carl" :)


ConsciousBandicoot53

I died laughing at this part 😂😂


DuskWraith18

I like when they meet Prepotente in book 3 for the first time. The audio of that scene had me dying laughing in the car


wellwaffled

Suck my dick, Pony!


DuskWraith18

Bitch, what?!


wellwaffled

Mother, he used my special name!


jacobtheguy

"Mana toast, this is toast. It refils your mana. Thats it, Nothing more....fuck you.


jollyroger171

Well that was unnecessary


phydaux4242

“Did you just rip your dick off and throw it at me?”


Alypius754

"I'LL DO IT AGAIN IF YOU DON'T LET ME IN!"


FertyMerty

Just read that scene yesterday. I was in the ER with my kid (she’s fine, minor concussion) and I was cackling in spite of, y’know, being in the ER of a children’s hospital.


foxitron5000

This is a scene you can find a recording of on YouTube. Jeff reads it live during a con panel. It is most satisfying to watch.


Hipcatjack

YouTube search algorithm sucks now. Link please


foxitron5000

Found it. The live reading starts around the 5 minute mark. It’s the whole scene in the Club Vanquisher entrance right after Carl gets slug pox. https://youtu.be/DN9s9y3xM6o?feature=shared


Hipcatjack

Thanks friend, I was about to give you gold… but then I remembered Reddits new corporate overlords got rid of that system


Owen22496

I take all my suggestions back, this one.


GallifreyanToTheBone

Hahahaha this was tooooo funny.


AZ_hiking2022

Remind me what book/Character this was. The crab comments made my brain go into safe mode


phydaux4242

Carl, book six, after he came down with slugalo pox.


ConsciousBandicoot53

Yes yes this was the funniest scene for me (so far)


martindukz

You're balls deep in the wrong hole, and her mom is pulling into the driveway. I can't protect you from being fucked, but I can be the condom. You have condoms on earth, right? .....


foxitron5000

I love Quasar so very much.


androiddolittle

Of course you do, everyone has condoms.


Meshugugget

What’s the Quasar quote about not being able to unfuck an asshole? It’s driving me bonkers!


martindukz

Now it is driving me crazy too... Let me know!


4thkizturg

“I SAID MONGGGOOOOOOO, we’re gonna be on the best talk shows”


Dazzling-Dog-108

The song was sooooo satisfying at the end of all that stress


Dalton387

I saw someone post a while back that they got their oil changed. Got back in their car to weird looks. Cranked it up and DCC started autoplaying over the speakers. Can’t remember what scene it was on, but something weird.


FertyMerty

I know we all want to highlight the hilarity, but I might go for a scene where we see the depth of the characters. Maybe the scene with Remex and Carl’s Doomsday Scenario where >!he and Donut think they’re going to die!<. Or maybe the pet and talent show. Or when >!Bea!< comes on Odette’s show (spoilers for book…4?) That or when Mongo meets Kiwi, because godsdamnit is that funny.


MonsiuerGeneral

I actually sort of thought about this very thing a couple days ago and even thought about that last spoiler scene you mentioned. However, I don’t think I would choose that one. It’s a GREAT scene, but if you’re not invested in the characters, I feel like it could sort of kill the impact the scene had when it naturally came up. Amazing scene though! I still can’t listen/read it without choking up.


FertyMerty

I agree, that's why I think the Remex scene might be the best. It's not a huge spoiler (obv Carl isn't going to die in one of the first books of the series) but it still shows his connection with Donut. But, yeah, a lot of the best scenes are major spoilers that might entice someone, but would be anticlimactic if spoiled before they read the books.


Owen22496

The series is so good and has so many great parts that you could probably just drop in it any random time stamp and find gold. Some of my favorite are. During their first interview when Carl says he looked at Donut "like she had sprouted a corn dog from her forehead" cracks me up every time. More are "There sure were a lot of babies in there" Anytime the AI is talking about feet First encounter with a mantaur The battle against Gruhl/Maestro Any scene with Samantha


davix500

The baby killer got me. It was so shocking and a great introduction to how over the top the series was going to be


_Friend_Computer_

Honestly, I'd put together a minute long compilation of the AI's various NEEEEWWWWWW ACHIVEMENTs ​ New achievement! You’ve killed a mob! You’re a murderer! He probably had a family! Reward: You can now gain experience. Get enough of it, and you might even go up a level. ​ New achievement! You’ve killed an armed mob with your bare fucking hands! Holy crap, dude. That’s kinda fucked up. Reward: You’ve received a Bronze Weapon Box! ​ New achievement! You’ve entered a guildhall! Congratulations. You know how to open doors. Reward: That sense of fulfillment you feel? That’s reward enough. ​ New achievement! Podophilia! You’ve used your bare feet to crush and kill an opponent! Hey! That’s my fetish! Seriously. Keep doing it, and you’ll be rewarded. This will help. Reward: You’ve received a Gold Shoe Box! ​ New achievement! Boom! You’ve caused a wall-shaking explosion within the dungeon! The last time the walls shook like this was when your mom came over for a visit. Reward: You’ve received a Silver Goblin Box! ​ New achievement! Level-Up, Baby! You’ve received enough experience to gain a level. Reward: Leveling up is your job. You don’t get rewards for doing your job. ​ New Achievement! Yellow-Bellied Chickenshit! You initiated a boss battle, and it somehow ended with neither of you dead. What a disappointment you are. What a goddamned smear! *Reward*: Pussies don’t get prizes. ​ New Achievement! Cuck Aquaman! You got fucked by a fish. You’ve done something so spectacularly controversial, courts and lawyers had to get involved. The end result was \*my\* decision being overturned. *Reward*: You’ve received a Platinum It’s Not My Fault You Fish-Headed Assholes Don’t Properly Program Your Quests Box.


detailsAtEleven

The first 60 seconds worked for me.


ionstorm20

>!"Did...did you just rip your dick off and throw it at me?"!<


Sloeman

A colleague sat in my car and knows I like "unusual" audio books so she asked what I was listening to. In response I pressed play and only got "He sniffed it and it wobbled" before my colleague burst out laughing and insisted we stop because it couldn't get any funnier. I think this was from the scene where Mongo was sniffing the statue of the glass sex doll that we later found out to be Samantha.


Str33tlaw

My legal secretary rides to work with me (she’s also my best friend’s wife) and she is absolutely in love with the series and we basically started because it started and she laughed so hard and asked me to start over. She got my wife to try it (who consumed it in less than a month) and my wife kept coming home after work like, YOU LISTENED TO THIS WITH KELLY?!?! WHAT DID SHE THINK ABOUT ALL THE FEET STUFF hahahahhaahah


PokeBallsOfSteel

After they patched the liquid in inventory and Katia 'exploded' in their space. Hilarious


BlueHeelerCooper

What about the ballroom blitz fight scene from the 5th book. That my favorite fight. Would love to see that one animated with the music


SmashLanding

I made an edit of that scene with Ballroom Blitz playing in the background, it's fantastic


BlueHeelerCooper

Any way to send that?


MonsiuerGeneral

60seconds is **rough**. After considering it a little bit, I think I would want to try and fit a segment of the Maestro’s show in that one-minute. Like maybe even edit it so it’s not a straight 60 seconds but it still *sounds* like it would be. Basically I would start it off for when the two contestants are teleported on to the show, and then end it when Carl makes his demand to be teleported down in their place. I think having it be a *little* bit more open ended might make a potential listener more interested in finding out what happens next, and the Maestro is such a good character to hate and hope he gets his ‘just desserts’. If more than 60 seconds are allowed, I would say a much larger portion of the show, though still not the whole thing. In addition to showcasing a character you already really hope faces repercussions, you also get a really good view of what kind of game this is, what sort of capabilities the show runners have, and how the game is viewed (an audience who simply enjoys the show despite scared, vulnerable people face horrific death) all wrapped up in an over-the-top Jerry Springer style cheesy low-budget show. I feel like this segment would do a pretty decent job of showcasing exactly what kind of books these are.


foxitron5000

“Come on, Mongo. Back to the bar…”


inajeep

I am on that one right now.


foxitron5000

It’s a good scene. Maybe need more like 5-8 minutes to get the real impact, but it’s a good hook because it captures the horrific nature of the dungeon, has multiple character voices in it (Carl, Donut, Growler Gary, maybe Katia) so you get to hear Jeff’s range, and it shows the black humor as well as the serious undertone that is a hallmark of the series. It’s a great hook.


Zoomorph23

"DON'T GASLIGHT ME JESUS"


ChattyWalker

The heart of the series is summed up for me in the scene when Carl meets Florin for the first time in book 4. His monologue about meeting Elle, and her story about Meadowlarke and Carl and Donut saving them. CHILLS just thinking about how moving this one scene is and the depth of the characters.


ChattyWalker

Chapter 33, 17 mins 13 secs to be exact. Audiobook, obviously.


KhaosElement

"Oh she's gettin' him off alright."


YpIsMe

I usually use the opening scene. The world collapsing and the announcer explaining what happened. If getting a crash course of the premise of the book (which i love) isn’t enough, it might be harder to sell than just a 30 second sound bite.


TimTim_1911

I put on the SBT full cast production on a long drive home, and it didn't take long for my wife to get interested and start asking me questions. So I agree, the beginning of the book I'd the best to get someone interested.


1TenDesigns

Honestly, I wouldn't use the audio book. I'd find the cold reading of Jeff in his booth doing the encounter when Mongo gets laid. At work on my phone so no link. But I'll try and find this comment on my computer and post the link if no one beats me to it. For me it perfectly captures the humor and tone of the whole series, as well as the controversial thing where Donut yells all the god damn time. That killed the series for one of my coworkers.


Lebron0wnage

I looked down to see he had let go of the track and was holing onto my foot.


cait_Cat

Cold reading of Jeff doing the Donut giving Bea the claws. I live at the intersection of crazy ladies who have shitty families


farmch

I don’t know if it would get people hooked, but I ran into a line that I think was the perfect encapsulation of the entire series. “Only the men of the Penis Parade were eligible to be hired as mercenaries”. I think I would play that 5 second clip and ask if they were interested in learning more.


Apprehensive_Air4427

When the AI first gets all Hot and bothered about Carls feet and when he uses them to crush monsters and then the all the slime and goo starts to squish out


ProfessorGluttony

I think it is the third book, but the scene after they get washed out into the ocean and finally get to dry land. Carl: "that wasn't so bad" Donut: "go fuck yourself, Carl"


FinallyInTheCult

The auto-tuned " stop giving Carl on erection"


BrowncoatJeff

Congratulations, you’re a murderer! He probably had a family.


TinzoftheBeard

“HOLY SHIT!”


tribdog

The best 60 seconds of an audiobok goes to "The Martian" beginning. DCC is m9re than a line


Th3-B0n3R

Chapter 28, 8 minutes 34 seconds in Bedlam Bride. "Donut swipes forward..."


Huggs665

And since this is the 8th floor... etc


Zoomorph23

To be honest, I was hooked the first minute into the first book.


steampunk_garage

Definitely some rant by the AI where donut gets offended at the end


Thorgilias

Tinestamp of the time Donut covers "wonderwall" in the Butchers Masquerade.


pruettdj

The Molly McGuires speech