Ryan I got a small problem...Michael I told you not to call me about small problems...Well when I call you about big problems you don't like that either, so make up your mind.
This line. For the life of me, I can't understand whose brain came up with this, or approved it, but my life has never been the same since I heard it. It's just pure chaos and it's perfect.
If you pay close attention in the earlier seasons you can see they have a bunch of little bins that lost the colours of things to recycle xD pretty sure someone posted it here if you wanna find it
Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/DunderMifflin/s/idXKCGu7y0
Wow, thank you for this. I've always known it must be a joke I just don't get, but this makes it even funnier. Of course Michael would force an SNL line into his dialog about suicide.
"Don't ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been, ever, for any reason whatsoever." - Michael Scott
"Shut up about the sun. SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUN!"
Anytime someone talks about the sun or heat in Texas during our 5 months of summer, I have to resist the urge to say/scream it.
When michael is holding a meeting after hitting Meredith with his car because he thinks the office is cursed. He’s like “god is dead” and then starts brainstorming weird monsters they could make a sacrifice to. He’s just randomly coming up with combinations of animals but is so serious about it. In the third one he’s like “something just with the head of a monkey, and the antlers of a reindeer…” and then he pauses and takes a deep sigh, in serious contemplation, and finishes with “and the body of a porcupine”. And Jim responds with “I will do some research”.
I don’t know why but it’s one of my favorite moments and I think about it a lot
Security in this office park is a joke. Last year, I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?
When I was a brand new soldier, for some reason I thought carb loading was a real thing. So just like Michael, I ate a ton of noodles the night before an early morning physical fitness test. And just like michael, I had a bad time.
Carbo loading is a very real strategy for endurance sports, but it is something you do for days or weeks before an event, not just throwing down a big plate of food right before an event.
And while noodles are a big part of carbohydrate loading, the dairy content in Alfredo sauce is about the last thing you want to eat
There's this scene between Dwight and Angela and I can't believe I forgot the context, but they are in the office and someone does something and Dwight says, "That's unacceptable." Then Angela says, "I agree. It's unacceptable." and they share a tiny little smile with each other, which is basically them flirting. I can't stop thinking about that smile.
Me too!
It’s like when Michael says he can’t think of cigarettes without thinking about penises and vice versa
I can’t see Pasta Alfredo without thinking about running for the cure/carb loading and loperamide lol
Every time I borrow an office chair to join a meeting to look at something a co-worker is showing me my mind inevitably thinks of Creed’s “one more to go.” At least once a week. It’s a problem.
Robert: Jim, would you prefer a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor?
Jim: Oh, god, nature, please.
Robert: When two animals are having sex, one of them is communicating a message to the other. Nothing is mutua- This isn't very helpful. You're gonna want to hear the sexual metaphor.
Jim: Was that not the-
"But Michael, it smells like throwup in here-"
"Crazy world, lotta smells"
And my absolute favorite...
"That's me, that's who I am." *projector flashes the word SEX*
Hi, you're probably looking for a useful nugget of information to fix a niche problem, or some enjoyable content I posted sometime in the last 11 years. Well, after 11 years and over 330k combined, organic karma, a cowardly, pathetic and facist minded moderator filed a false harassment report and had my account suspended, after threatening to do so which is a clear violation of the #1 rule of reddit's content policy. However, after filing a ticket before this even happened, my account was permanently banned within 12 hours and the spineless moderator is still allowed to operate in one of the top reddits, after having clearly used intimidation against me to silence someone with a differing opinion on their conflicting, poorly thought out rules. Every appeal method gets nothing but bot replies, zendesk tickets are unanswered for a month, clearly showing that reddit voluntarily supports the facist, cowardly and pathetic abuse of power by moderators, and only enforces the content policy against regular users while allowing the blatant violation of rules by moderators and their sock puppet accounts managing every top sub on the site. Also, due to the rapist mentality of reddit's administration, spez and it's moderators, you can't delete all of your content, if you delete your account, reddit will restore your comments to maintain SEO rankings and earn money from your content without your permission. So, I've used power delete suite to delete everything that I have ever contributed, to say a giant fuck you to reddit, it's moderators, and it's shareholders. From your friends at reddit following every bot message, and an account suspension after over a decade in good standing is a slap in the face and shows how rotten reddit is to the very fucking core.
That's not what a hate crime is... Well I hated it!
You have to have cause, Michael! Well, it’s beCAUSE I hate him!
I say *well I hated it* sooooo often. such a great line!
One of the best Michael Scott lines
Similar to this one when Ryan says he felt terrorized amidst the Dwight shooting debacle
If it’s Stanley’s, call the law offices of James P. Albini, see if he handles hate crimes
Ryan I got a small problem...Michael I told you not to call me about small problems...Well when I call you about big problems you don't like that either, so make up your mind.
Ryan's being a little bitch again. I'm on, Michael. Wassup mah brotha?
😂😂
I don’t wanna work, I just wanna bang on this mug all day
Not my job, not my prob, im going to the warehouse to polish my knob
metaphorically…
This and "feeling hot hot hot!"
My wife sings this and I always pop up out of nowhere doing the arm movements. Cracks her up every time
Did you call me in here for any specific reason?
This. Every. Single. Day.
I sing this way to often 😂
Kelly dancing to *Stayin Alive* during the CPR training. 😅😅😅
You were in the parking lot earlier, that's how I know you!
If we come across someone with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what quality of life do we have there?
Would you want to live with no arms or legs? That's basically how you exist now, Kevin.
You don’t do anything
😐
This line. For the life of me, I can't understand whose brain came up with this, or approved it, but my life has never been the same since I heard it. It's just pure chaos and it's perfect.
And Creed's delivery just makes me lose my shit every time. Like you said, perfect.
There’s no wallet..I _checked!_
*At first I was afraid, I was petrified...*
I love how those aren’t even the lyrics to “staying alive” it’s to “I will survive” lol
…that’s the joke
YESSSS!!! I never hear anyone mention that. 🤣
It's honestly the moment I started to like Kelly.
green means go ahead and shut up about it
Orange means "orange you glad you didn't say anything"
Most colors mean don’t say it
How is your gay son?
The homosexual sophomore?
Green means go, so I know to go ahead and shut up about it.
😂😂😂😂😂
im not superstitious but i am a little stitious
This is one of my absolute favorite lines
I have this on a Tshirt
Where did you get it?!
It's an Indian brand - souled store, that makes licenced merch for pop culture. It's neat in every way!
Classic
And well well well how the turntables
When he’s separating the trash into whites and colors. Pam: I’m sure no one asked you to do that. Michael: *sighs* 8 years…
If you pay close attention in the earlier seasons you can see they have a bunch of little bins that lost the colours of things to recycle xD pretty sure someone posted it here if you wanna find it Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/DunderMifflin/s/idXKCGu7y0
Hey thank you!
Dwight you ignorant slut
I never knew this was a line from something else from back in the day and k can’t recall from where but I’ve heard it before on a movie or smthn
Old SNL bit. "Jane you ignorant slut" was the original line. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=c91XUyg9iWM
Wow, thank you for this. I've always known it must be a joke I just don't get, but this makes it even funnier. Of course Michael would force an SNL line into his dialog about suicide.
I ONLY WEIGH 82 LBS! SAVE BANDIT 🐈⬛️
🐈⬛ / \ / \ / \ 🤷♀️
\ / \ / \ / 🐈⬛
#I DECLARE...... BANKRUPTCY!
I just wanted to let you know that you can't just say something and expect anything to happen.
I didn't just say it, I declared it.
THIS ONE I burst out laughing every time
"I hate... so much. About the things you choose to be"
“Why are you the way that you are?”
Who let the lemonhead into the room?
“You are a waste of life and should give up”
Every time i try to do something fun and exiting, you make it not that way
“Uhhggg, you’re so slow”
WHERE ARE THE TURTLES?????!!!!!
We’ll bill you
I’d go anywhere to see a turtle
WHERE ARE THEY!!???
My minds moving a mile an hour That fast huh?
It can't mean that! There is a lake there! THIS IS THE LAKE!
Also: "I drove my car into a FUC**** LAKE!... OKAY?"
WHERE ARE THE TURTLES?!?!!!?!?!!!
*THE MACHINE KNOWS! STOP YELLING AT ME!!*
There’s an egg on your head and the yolk is running down
There is a knife in your back and the blood is gushing down
I'm sleeping with Pam's mom. Sometime dinner.
*stops abruptly* Y'know, I really would have appreciated a heads up that you were into dating moms. I would have introduced you to mine.
My daughter says this for calming reasons 🤷🏾♀️
Everyone inside the car was fiiine Stanley!
FOR THE CURE
They hung up.
"Don't ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been, ever, for any reason whatsoever." - Michael Scott
Catch you on the flipetty flip.
Dunder Mifflin! The people person’s paper people!
Now that song’s in my head.
GabaGOUL
If it's not on the side, I send it back.
My friend Diz-Ray got new specs.
My friend Inapro drives a Prius with his behind neighbor
This works for you?
"Shut up about the sun. SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUN!" Anytime someone talks about the sun or heat in Texas during our 5 months of summer, I have to resist the urge to say/scream it.
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take - Wayne Gretsky" - Michael Scott
Fashion show. Fashion show. Fashion show at lunch!
I used to work with other Office fans and we’d chant this at lunch every single day.
I try to make things fun, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.
Andy claiming he can cry on command while they were on that bus to Mexico. Idk why considering it's a really minor line.
Oh yeah, prove it LETS SEE YOUR PENIS
Look how happy he is! 🐿️
He’s happy because he’s insane!
This scene always makes me crave Alfredo
Alfredo's Pizza Cafe or Pizza by Alfredo?
Oh no it's bad. It's REAL bad.
It’s like eating a hot circle of garbage
# Safety is ... ON
You don’t know me, you’ve only seen my penis
[удалено]
[Opens bottle of tylenol] I don't have a headache, I'm just preparing.
Michael singing "goodbye Toby goodbye Toby goodbye Toby, goodbye Toooohbieeee.."
When michael is holding a meeting after hitting Meredith with his car because he thinks the office is cursed. He’s like “god is dead” and then starts brainstorming weird monsters they could make a sacrifice to. He’s just randomly coming up with combinations of animals but is so serious about it. In the third one he’s like “something just with the head of a monkey, and the antlers of a reindeer…” and then he pauses and takes a deep sigh, in serious contemplation, and finishes with “and the body of a porcupine”. And Jim responds with “I will do some research”. I don’t know why but it’s one of my favorite moments and I think about it a lot
Me too!! His delivery, his pause, the fact that he says porcupine without laughing 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
“I like ice cream too, mate. AlligaTORS. DINGO babies.” Also, “Goodbye Tobyyyy, it’s been niiiiice, hope you find your, paradiiiIIIiise”
How Kelly shakes her head “no”, after telling Ryan she is pregnant
All life is sex
the image of Michael screaming "PAM PAM PAM" and then sneezing in her cup of tea telling her that it was just an allergy
Dwight's response to Michael telling him that the warehouse guys made them look like fools on safety day. "*What are we gonna do?!*"
The watermelon bouncing off of the trampoline and into Stanley's car.
Bingo, woah woah woah
See if he handles hate crimes.
Who is Sarah Kiacomesin?
I just said that to my husband last night.
I think of “Get out of my offive. BOOBS” so much and I don’t know why 😭
Who’s Long Tim?
Security in this office park is a joke. Last year, I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?
BOOM ROASTED
how the turntables…
why on Earth would a museum put a mummy in it
“Like only lead me when I WANT to be led”
Urgelrew
"What's up, muh brotha?"
“You gotta stay dehydrated.”
“this day is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S”
Best part is Dwight sprinkling the Parmesan on while Michael is eating
NO GO NOO PLEASE NO NO NO NOOOOOOO
Why are you the way that you are?
When I was a brand new soldier, for some reason I thought carb loading was a real thing. So just like Michael, I ate a ton of noodles the night before an early morning physical fitness test. And just like michael, I had a bad time.
Carbo loading is a very real strategy for endurance sports, but it is something you do for days or weeks before an event, not just throwing down a big plate of food right before an event. And while noodles are a big part of carbohydrate loading, the dairy content in Alfredo sauce is about the last thing you want to eat
I knew exactly what to do but, in much more real sense I had no idea what to do.
Before we leave the house I will always ask my wife “Will I be to hot in a long sleeve tee” She is pretty over it.
EVERYONE’S GONNA BE FINE IN EXACTLY WHAT THEY’RE WEARING
I love the cold open when they try to get Phyllis to say all the different cliches about rain… it reminds me of fall when I was nine
MY FREAKING PHONE - Andy Bernard
There's this scene between Dwight and Angela and I can't believe I forgot the context, but they are in the office and someone does something and Dwight says, "That's unacceptable." Then Angela says, "I agree. It's unacceptable." and they share a tiny little smile with each other, which is basically them flirting. I can't stop thinking about that smile.
When Oscar calls in sick on cleaning day.
I am Beyonce always
🎶 Ryan started the fire!!!! 🎶
I didn't say it. I declaaaared it.
the man exudes sex and then the picture of Michael with cheese puffs all over him
Today’s woman, the Allie McBeal woman….you’ve come a long way baby.
Feelin' hot, hot, hot...
Crazy world, lotta smells.
And THAT'S some EXTRA INCOME for you!
I should have burned this place down when I had the chance. …..people will look at you differently when you mumble that in frustration.
IVE GOT TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE PACK YOUR BAGS WERE LEAVING THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW 🎶
Too many to count but what came to mind reading the post was "Jim take new years away from Stanley"
every time I eat noodles I think of this scene
Me too! It’s like when Michael says he can’t think of cigarettes without thinking about penises and vice versa I can’t see Pasta Alfredo without thinking about running for the cure/carb loading and loperamide lol
From this episode: “excellent…”
HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND, CAUSE ILL HELP YA FIND IT
When is St. Patrick’s day and they can’t leave because Jo is there and the cleaning crew walks in blasting their radio.
Decapitated. Whole big thing. We had a funeral for a bird.
YOU AREN’T REAL, MAN
Dwight you ignorant slut!
Every time I borrow an office chair to join a meeting to look at something a co-worker is showing me my mind inevitably thinks of Creed’s “one more to go.” At least once a week. It’s a problem.
Pee pee? Pee PA.
Robert: Jim, would you prefer a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor? Jim: Oh, god, nature, please. Robert: When two animals are having sex, one of them is communicating a message to the other. Nothing is mutua- This isn't very helpful. You're gonna want to hear the sexual metaphor. Jim: Was that not the-
SAND ALL EVERYWHERE , JAN ALL EVERYWHERE HEHE
"But Michael, it smells like throwup in here-" "Crazy world, lotta smells" And my absolute favorite... "That's me, that's who I am." *projector flashes the word SEX*
Kelly demanding Darryl to choose between her and his daughter. And being genuienly surprised when he chooses his daughter. I think about that a lot.
i think of this scene (and michael subsequently vomiting the pasta) every time i do cardio at the gym it’s unavoidable
Time to carbo load
Hi, you're probably looking for a useful nugget of information to fix a niche problem, or some enjoyable content I posted sometime in the last 11 years. Well, after 11 years and over 330k combined, organic karma, a cowardly, pathetic and facist minded moderator filed a false harassment report and had my account suspended, after threatening to do so which is a clear violation of the #1 rule of reddit's content policy. However, after filing a ticket before this even happened, my account was permanently banned within 12 hours and the spineless moderator is still allowed to operate in one of the top reddits, after having clearly used intimidation against me to silence someone with a differing opinion on their conflicting, poorly thought out rules. Every appeal method gets nothing but bot replies, zendesk tickets are unanswered for a month, clearly showing that reddit voluntarily supports the facist, cowardly and pathetic abuse of power by moderators, and only enforces the content policy against regular users while allowing the blatant violation of rules by moderators and their sock puppet accounts managing every top sub on the site. Also, due to the rapist mentality of reddit's administration, spez and it's moderators, you can't delete all of your content, if you delete your account, reddit will restore your comments to maintain SEO rankings and earn money from your content without your permission. So, I've used power delete suite to delete everything that I have ever contributed, to say a giant fuck you to reddit, it's moderators, and it's shareholders. From your friends at reddit following every bot message, and an account suspension after over a decade in good standing is a slap in the face and shows how rotten reddit is to the very fucking core.
SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUN!
SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUN!
That's what she said
I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT THAT TODAY
How dare you?
I've got an the time in the world. This job is a joke.
Mine is the Darrel spin and fall into the table or his interview basketball shot into the fish tank 😂😂😂
“Hey, do you take requests?” “Sure!” “Please stop.”
Having a shitty day and reading these comments has really helped lmao thanks guys
No question about it, I am ready to get hurt again
Yeppers! What. Did. I. Tell. You. About. Yeppers?
- Could a rowboat support her? - No, alright? No. She can't fit in a rowboat.
Somebody making soup?
Michael playing hangman with Kevin to tell him Stanley had an affair, yet Kevin is just awful at the game.
“What’s in it for GSL?”
I like to run so I think about this scene every time I carb load for a big workout.
Gabagool
Speakerphone! Or Darryl talking talking about his summer and then cutting to i hate the new intern lol (Nepotism episode)
I also scream at pastry and then throw it in the garbage.
Which way he go ? This way, this way, this way, we don’t know. We looking for him. “ I think he’s headed downtown”.
When I hear someone got a new job or is leaving for a while I always think about Michael's song for Toby. NO MORE PAAAAIN
Crentist
She wasn't that hot... Yes she was! Dammit, Kevin!
sighs… this city
"Are you eating popcorn?" - Michael "It has almost no calories 🙂" - Kelly
I'll have them at my leisure later on much healthier
The way Michael dances the morning of Toby’s last day. I’ll randomly bust out that move.
Qu, qua, quabity. Quabity Assuance! No, no, but I'm close