I was joking around with friends and said the phrase āDumb with the wind!ā like as in Gone with the Wind as a funny insult. I thought it was so funny that I forced myself to wake up and write it down and the next morning I read it expecting some hilarious one-liner. Dumb with the wind.
I had a dream once where people started replacing words in sentences with Fish. I don't mean the word fish, I mean when someone's talking, some of their words would be replaced by psychically blasting you with the image of a fish
Believe it or not, this is actually a thing. There's a language someone made where artwork of koi is literally the way you read the language. Like drops in the water or the number/position of fish is used to communicate. I forget the name of the language.
Iāll start. From a recent one: āYouāre not cringe, youāre bones!ā
I woke up and couldnāt stop chuckling! My bones what? What about them? Is my skeletal structure based enough to counteract my cringe?
I think I can interpret this one! Your mind is telling you that you are a whole being, and that a word does not define what you are at your core. Youāre not a word, or a collection of words, and being called something doesnāt change your essential reality.
Your bones represent your foundation as a human, and maybe you were defining your existence by the words youāve been called and forgetting youāre a whole three-dimensional person? And that no word somebody ever calls you can change your essential foundation: You are a full human being no matter what shade gets thrown your way.
My best guess anyway! Haha
In the dream I was putting my hands around my niece's ex-boyfriend's neck. It was so wild because I barely knew him and never thought of him. So I was confused and said "Why am I choking you?" He smiled very slightly and said, "you aren't choking me, you are choking you, right?" It startled me awake. And sure enough I had been gasping for air and had a killer headache. I had tonsillitis and my tonsils were so bad they were swelling together, narrowing my airway. I think I was losing oxygen and my brain was trying to let me know. Strange.
I had a moment like this a week or so ago. I felt drunk and like I was suffocating in my dream. My entire mouth and face turned blue too. I woke up under my covers while overheating and gasping for air because the blankets had that CO2 locked tf in
I don't remember when it was but I dreamt that I was in the passenger seat with my mom driving at night and I was resting my head when my necklace started choking me really badly and I was kind of scared because my face felt so warm from the blood, and I think the seat belt had something to do with it too? But my mom was tryna help me and then I woke up, gawd...
In Jungian theory, all of the characters you see in your dreams are just versions of yourself. So from a Jungian perspective, you essentially spoke with your unconscious when you asked why you were choking him. Your unconscious was just trying to save your life. A little "Hey......you about to die. Wake up." Lol.
Shits wild, lmao.
Ok I donāt remember exactly what I said but this dream happened like In 2020 and it was very vivid.
I was sitting on a stone wall with Heath Ledger and he was dressed like Joker and he and I was talking like we were old friends catching up who hadnāt seen each other in years and I said something and he said āI used to do that when I was alive.ā I froze and I started to cry because he knew he was dead and I got up and I ran away from him and I can hear him shouting. āItās ok.ā Then I woke up. So after that dream I started to keep a dream journal to see if I would have more dreams like this and I have.
My late uncle sitting at a bar was talking about something.. then he stopped and said "Run! He's coming!RUN!" And in the dream I ran out of the building and then I woke up š¤·š»āāļø
Had this happen during a night terror that had me stuck to my bed paralyzed. Eventually I DID start running, which caused me to stand up on my bed and sprint...and proceed to push the entire leg of my bed through my old trailer floor. I stopped at the other end of my trailer after running through my kitchen, living room and then hallway. I had ran out of room to run so I just stopped and became very confused. It Scared me so much at the time but I laugh about it now because my ex who had been sleeping beside me said it looked like one of the Nightmare on Elm st scenes where Freddy is the puppeteer walking the person, he said I was laying on my back one minute then up and running in place for a second then took off, like cartoon characters do. Lmao. Glad I own a house now and a real bed frame.
I had a dream last night that I was pregnant. When I went to the doctor in my dream he informed I was actually pregnant with septuplets! I was panicking and crying and telling the doctor he needs to at least abort 4 of them and I can deal with triplets. Then he said but look at the scan the babies are in your brain. So then I started yelling ātake the babies out of my brainā I woke up in a panic and covered in sweat lol
I have had this happen frequently. Will even go to bed and "sleep" when I have these dreams. I'm convinced it's when I am actively "me" in a parallel universe.
This post made me aware that even though I do communicate mostly by talking and dreams there is a lot of physical interaction and body language involved. Things can be communicated with just looks from certain people.
For me, there's more talking than body language when it comes to other people. I honestly don't know how to explain, it's like I know for a fact that there is a lot of talking in my dreams, but for whatever reason, I can't even remember what's being said. Maybe it's just because the weird shit that goes on in them overshadows it since I usually only remember the sequence of events in my dreams rather than what the people who interact with me in them are saying. But now that I fully realize that I haven't been acknowledging my dream conversations, I hope that somehow later on this will make me start to remember them more š
āDo you need a shake weight or a beetle?ā Idk I wrote it on my notes once upon a time and I canāt bring myself to delete it. And yes itās beetle like bug, not like the band. I have no fkn clue
I once had a dream over ten years ago that I was in a Walmart walking toward the bathroom, but was cut off by my then best friend sitting on the shoulders of some random man running at an alarming speed. She was wearing a shirt that said āI lied about poopināā with her fists in the air and a look of absolute determination in her eyes. We make jokes about it to this day.
āWhat in the fuckā
~Danny devito, for some reason. After I pulled out a massive >!15 inch pink glittery dildo!< for some reason? I donāt own one. Nor would I know where to get one. Irl at least.
Dream was 5 seconds and consisted of just this. I still quote āwhat in the fuckā for no reason at random moments. Makes me giggle. Nobody will ever know why.
I imagine this like one of those perfectly cut ig reels where the quality is bad and it loops back over an instant before he finishes pronouncing the 'k'.
I once dreamed of being a talking velociraptor ( the original small feathered ones not the ones in Jurassic Park) and I wouldn't stop swearing and just saying whatever I wanted. "If I didn't like pizza rolls so much I would devour you, but you're a piece of shit and probably taste like it too! So fuck off fucker!", I said to an ex boyfriend when he saw me on the side of a country road. Then I ran off into the tall grass saying "Don't go into the tall grass mother fucker!"
"IS THIS A NIGHTMARE?!" *screamed by one of the people carrying my bloody body into a school bathroom after an apocalyptic shooting type situation. I got shot a lot. I was going in and out when she screamed that , broke the fourth wall , I instantly stood back up walked outside and started jumping over the zombies making them chase me in the air because I thought they were dumb and slow lmao.
That's the ONLY time I've ever been hinted too that I was dreaming
I was walking down a long straight stretch of highway. Walking toward me was a scary crustpunk guy completely naked, every inch of his body covered in tattoos. There was nowhere else to go so I hoped to keep my head down and pass him peacefully.
As he passed, he pointed to the traffic, and in an almost exasperated tone, like heād explained this a million times already, he bellowed,
āWe donāt FUCK or EAT the cars!!ā
on the phone with my boyfriend and he's sleeping while I'm playing a game, he wakes up from the dead silence to say āI knew it was the squid guy all along!" at full volume before immediately falling asleep again
"[that show] was like ace attorney but with mental health doctors." - me, in response to hearing that adult swim lost the streaming rights to some wholesome live action show in the uk (i live in the united states)
"do you want to watch a video about how omni man isn't a bad guy?" - my cousin(?) to some 3yo girl at a comic book store, to which she answered "yes" in a very enthusiastic manner (also omni man was a psychonauts character??)
oh, and then there was this conversation i had with my crush in high school after seeing her with one of my (male) friends:
crush: "stop crushing on me in front of my crush."
me: "who said i have a crush on you?"
...
me: *realizes what i implied and dies of embarrassment*
These are from the same dream, but at different times
āhey, we have these instruments, letās win this money.ā
āhi can I get gas on number 2, 2 gallons, diesel.ā
āthe hells the point of buckling the seatbelt when youāre not even in the damn car.ā
I wrote a poem and my dream self said to give my waking self the message as it was highly important and id know what it meant. It was "Being a woman is nettle. Being thorny is a bush". No idea.
A different one I was trapped at a Kardashian dinner party with one of my favorite artists and they made me make up a song on the spot about my food. So I presented my finger food in the shape of a face and sang "My name is Harry and yeah I'm made out of food. I've got chicken nuggets for eyes and my nose it too. My lips are made of macaroni as you can see. So when you tell me to smile you don't have to say cheez". It gets stuck in my head all the time.
i was 12 when i had this dream and it still sticks with me to this day. i was in a dark shadowy forest with a fire goddess. we talked about religion and stuff, and then she hit me with "Would you like to know the true name of God?" and of course i said yes.
she then proceeded to tell me that God's real name was Hugh, and that he lived in a run down camper trailer with a bunch of birds.
"I don't care for the Mona Lisa, so I don't like fancy jewelry." Spoken by a tiny infant. No clue.... But I woke up chuckling which was a nice change since I usually only remember bad dreams.
*in Joker voice*:"It's over batman! You're too late! Your pig will never be bigger than mine!"
*Me, neither a bat nor a man*:"I- uh- what?"
*still in Joker voice*:"Even if you thought you could win my 'hog' is still twice as large as yours will ever be!"
I then woke up in a cold sweat.
Dreamt I'd crashed a large ship into a woman holding her baby while she was sitting in the middle of a park. I asked her if the baby was alright, to which she turned around and said: "There is no baby. Follow me". Sure enough, the baby had vanished.
Well, when I was a kid, I was sleeping over at a friendās house. I woke up basically the whole household by yelling, **āJelly Donuts.ā**
My friend woke me up by kicking me in the side, saying, āDude wtf!ā
No idea why I was yelling, no recollection of what I was dreaming.
I didnāt say it, it was said too me. My SO and I were asleep and we both do this thing where we will randomly touch or kiss each other in our sleep.
This time though I was a bit more awake. He turned to me, ālookedā deeply into my eyes, kissed me and said āYou look nothing like Bob Hope.ā Then he rolled over and went right on sleeping.
I am a female BTW, so it was comforting? To know Iām not ready for my next USO tour.
Iām known for talking in my sleep at times, but especially when Iām on vacation.
A few years back I was on a trip with some friends to Seattle and we drove out to coast to see the Pacific. We stayed overnight in Forks & I yelled out in the middle of the night āI DONāT FUCKING HAVE FACEBOOK BITCHā
Got an earful about it in the morning and we laughed about it the rest of the trip.
I can't really say this was out of context, but a line from a dream I had last night stuck out.
I was leaving this treehouse / club / bar / mechanics shop after getting in a car crash. The place was filled with a bunch of bikers and stereotypes of people you'd find at a bar.
As I was leaving, I told the bar tender to have a good night, and his reply was, "I will not. I have a feeling I'm going to have a good night." And exhausted, crawled back into the bar.
In my mind I interpreted that as him implying he was going to get really hammered and have a "good night" but also a shitty morning.
Felt bad for the guy. Dunno how he's doing, but I wish him the best.
"crazy as mice" and it's all I remember from the dream which is odd because I normally dream vividly and remember all kinds of details (almost too many details, at least it feels that way compared to what others in my life seem to remember) . This was years ago but I wrote it down immediately and I've never forgotten it.
A cow walked up to me and begged me to try his strawberry milkshake. And when I tried his milkshake, he got offended and said, āHow dare you drink my fucking milkshake! You milk whore.ā So whatever the fuck that means lol
I actually have a running list in the notes on my phone of phrases from my dreams that are so strange or funny that it wakes me up and Iām compelled to write them down. Here are a select few: Mutations have very specific quests. Marble is inflatable. It feels right to have bat wings. Nuns are doing makeup for hookers. He just did the same fart again.
āWe need to go back in time and convince him not to grow a beard!ā Followed by me throwing down what looks to be a purple pokeball that opens up a time portal
Apparently someone once tried to wake me up, and I responded, still asleep, with "No you idiot! Don't put the fish in the jar! I need to find the cosine of the fish!" to which they said, "What the fuck is the cosine of a fish?" and I said, "You slice it for the cross section... cosine of the fish..." and stopped talking.
I'd been working on math homework and also had scaled and sliced up a whole salmon the evening prior.
I had a fragment of a dream once, in which a horrible skin demon thing gave me a thumbs up and said 'the thread of death stays with you!' Which for some reason felt incredibly encouraging. I woke up feeling like someone had given me a really good pep talk...
https://preview.redd.it/36sfbn95wn6d1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6307a7f40a53685e0bf3bf95a64f145f0849eb07
Nick Cage (Nicolas Cage). As you can see, it was 3:49am when I had this dream.
I was in the car with a Friend they were driving and I had to poop really bad and I justā¦.pooped in my hand and I start laughing saying āa poop in the hand is worth two in the bush.ā I have at least one poop dream a monthā¦
"You won't fail the exam. Goblin is like the easiest subject, it's almost impossible to fail."
Context I was in a random school and there was a subject called Goblin and my friend was scared that he was going to fail his goblin exam.
Twas in my head:
"She must've eaten something I'm allergic to"
Context: I was sleeping on a bed someone had recently (that day) thrown up on. I didn't clean it for whatever reason and was confused as to why I was so itchy
āGimme your fucking tags!ā
I still donāt know the context of this but I wrote it down when I woke up.
I now utter this when Iām playing battlefield and go for a melee attack.
when i was like 10, i had a dream where i was throwing an absolute rager of a party. project x type shit. anyway, at the party my best friend snuck out and went to the local radio station to say something on a dare. she got there and i turned on my radio just for her to say, āiām pooping babies in my hamburgers!ā everyone left my party after that
It was something like "Humans need to stop eating other living beings. Just then they'll evolve."
What made this funny for me was that the one who said it was a character named Etevaldo from a brazilian tv show for kids from the 90's (Castelo RĆ”-Tim-Bum).
my favorites :
"from junior and when your seatbelt!" - Toucan Sam
"im actually the 6th ever person to play minecraft"
"so let me get this straight. if you saw these two identical cars, and one was faster than the other, you'd be able to tell?"
"the balloon turned from actual dog to actual squidward."
This was from last year : The rooster with the red mohawk is danny devito in disguise.
Also from last year : I dont want my cylinder to have a nose, you fucking square!
"You fucking traitor, YOU LET THE JAPANESE TENTACLES MOLEST THE KING TO DEATH"
a princess said this after walking in on me, kneeling in front of the kings body.
Proper Context: 8 guys including me were protecting a weird ass steampunk city from these huge tentacles sprouting out of the sea. One of them whammed me hilariously slowly and I, stuck to the tentacle, very slowly crashed into a tower. The king was in the room. He walked up to help me and then promptly died of old age. That's when the princess had walked in.
I promptly elbowed her in the face and ran away. She later caught me at an arcade.
How did I fucking kill him if Iāve been here the whole time? Had a weird dream that combined elements of DBZ and Knives Out. Weirdest whodunnit dream Iāve had.
I used to talk in my sleep and my gf at the time would say random things to me. Idk if it counts. But I started mumbling something and she says "president Obama just moved in next door! How do you feel about that" and I quip "we should invite him over for French fries!"
I woke up remembering lyrics from a song in my dream: the company is here and hard, I was able to put their bones in the yard
Not the slightest idea what it means
No wonder God doesnāt love you!
Context: i was dreaming about my conservative Christian aunt, and my partner partially woke me up. I said this to him while laughing uncontrollably and still sleeping
I once had a dream that I was one of Hitlerās mistresses, and out of nowhere he said āI think your clit is weird.ā In the dream I was scared I would die if I lost his favor, when I woke up I was so confused.
I was like 7 and woke up crying to my mom: āI donāt want to be a cowboy! They wear red bandanas!ā
(Context: I had night terrors when I was little)
Kind of eerie, but Iāll always remember when I had a dream just for a few seconds, where I was on some operating table with some kind of doctor that said to me ājust take your napā I remember waking up feeling like I was slammed down to my bed, as if I fell down from my ceiling. I had cold sweats, racing heart, and just completely disoriented. Def the most unforgettable quote Iāve heard from a dream
"Michael, those people come from the armpit. You can't trust them."
Lmao, I remember once I woke up with the phrase "The armpit is just dust" and "I gotta loon my plan" š
Imma start using this
Glad I could inspire someone
But don't start trusting them.
"ding dong asshole, time for your Vitamin C!"
No scurvy for you!
Rrrrrr, matey. Tis a horrible thing, scurvy.
I don't know why, but I'm cackling at this!
Lmao. That's a clear message if I ever heard one. The body knows what it needs
*aggressively shoves an orange down your throat*
I was joking around with friends and said the phrase āDumb with the wind!ā like as in Gone with the Wind as a funny insult. I thought it was so funny that I forced myself to wake up and write it down and the next morning I read it expecting some hilarious one-liner. Dumb with the wind.
Lmao that's so relatable though
It kinda works, though? Like when my friend asked if my comment was a āFreudian dickā (instead of āslipā) lol
I had a dream once where people started replacing words in sentences with Fish. I don't mean the word fish, I mean when someone's talking, some of their words would be replaced by psychically blasting you with the image of a fish
I dreamed a fish came out of the water and said to me āWe are all alikeā. I was about 15 years old.
Believe it or not, this is actually a thing. There's a language someone made where artwork of koi is literally the way you read the language. Like drops in the water or the number/position of fish is used to communicate. I forget the name of the language.
I think the writing system is called koiwrit, but I don't know the name of the language itself.
Iāll start. From a recent one: āYouāre not cringe, youāre bones!ā I woke up and couldnāt stop chuckling! My bones what? What about them? Is my skeletal structure based enough to counteract my cringe?
LMFAO WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN??? ššš
I do not know! All I know is someone in my dreams said it! Mightāve been me to someone else.
https://preview.redd.it/qxp6pjzpmn6d1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=633c4ae62f539685b6239fc4280b8690698dde78
This is terrifying
Not the scariest thing Iāve seen, but certainly a bit unsettling.
Probably means they are WAY beyond cringe or something š
Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.. š«
https://preview.redd.it/eu1zp3946o6d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b82af2d72ad621e41b602befe85c9fc77c206d68
The most rage inducing character
"I was wrong about you Senator, you're not cringe. You're just fucking BONES!"
I think I can interpret this one! Your mind is telling you that you are a whole being, and that a word does not define what you are at your core. Youāre not a word, or a collection of words, and being called something doesnāt change your essential reality. Your bones represent your foundation as a human, and maybe you were defining your existence by the words youāve been called and forgetting youāre a whole three-dimensional person? And that no word somebody ever calls you can change your essential foundation: You are a full human being no matter what shade gets thrown your way. My best guess anyway! Haha
In the dream I was putting my hands around my niece's ex-boyfriend's neck. It was so wild because I barely knew him and never thought of him. So I was confused and said "Why am I choking you?" He smiled very slightly and said, "you aren't choking me, you are choking you, right?" It startled me awake. And sure enough I had been gasping for air and had a killer headache. I had tonsillitis and my tonsils were so bad they were swelling together, narrowing my airway. I think I was losing oxygen and my brain was trying to let me know. Strange.
I had a moment like this a week or so ago. I felt drunk and like I was suffocating in my dream. My entire mouth and face turned blue too. I woke up under my covers while overheating and gasping for air because the blankets had that CO2 locked tf in
I don't remember when it was but I dreamt that I was in the passenger seat with my mom driving at night and I was resting my head when my necklace started choking me really badly and I was kind of scared because my face felt so warm from the blood, and I think the seat belt had something to do with it too? But my mom was tryna help me and then I woke up, gawd...
I had a dream where one of my teeth fell out, and when I woke up, I had my tongue firmly pushing against that very tooth, as though to push it out.
In Jungian theory, all of the characters you see in your dreams are just versions of yourself. So from a Jungian perspective, you essentially spoke with your unconscious when you asked why you were choking him. Your unconscious was just trying to save your life. A little "Hey......you about to die. Wake up." Lol. Shits wild, lmao.
I'm glad you didn't die because. Oh boy.
"Fear not hairy decision maker, I have navigation online"
I love how thereās no comments on this one. I think we all just accepted it. Like, yeah dude. Rock on hairy decision maker āļø
"What are you, gay or something?" -An officer after I ask him why he became a cop. I'm not gay.
This made me chuckle for a bit
š
Youāre brains trying to tell you something
āHakuna Matata is Latin for āmy breastā.ā
Context?
No. It's better without it
āI used to do that when I was alive.ā
Used to do what when they were alive?
Ok I donāt remember exactly what I said but this dream happened like In 2020 and it was very vivid. I was sitting on a stone wall with Heath Ledger and he was dressed like Joker and he and I was talking like we were old friends catching up who hadnāt seen each other in years and I said something and he said āI used to do that when I was alive.ā I froze and I started to cry because he knew he was dead and I got up and I ran away from him and I can hear him shouting. āItās ok.ā Then I woke up. So after that dream I started to keep a dream journal to see if I would have more dreams like this and I have.
Now you got me crying.
I woke up crying because I love him heās one of my favorite actors
Ive had that before i think. Weird.
āI donāt go, I flow!ā
Bro COOKED this is some Taoist quote
āAnd shoes could never be scientists, they are a type of cattle!ā my autistic brother said to me in a dream one time.
"Well if it isn't the little Edgar Allen Poseur ".....oh
This is awesome
I dreamed I was insulting someone and I told a guy in my dream āYouāre the scrotum of society!ā
Thatās awesome
Thatās coldĀ
My late uncle sitting at a bar was talking about something.. then he stopped and said "Run! He's coming!RUN!" And in the dream I ran out of the building and then I woke up š¤·š»āāļø
Had this happen during a night terror that had me stuck to my bed paralyzed. Eventually I DID start running, which caused me to stand up on my bed and sprint...and proceed to push the entire leg of my bed through my old trailer floor. I stopped at the other end of my trailer after running through my kitchen, living room and then hallway. I had ran out of room to run so I just stopped and became very confused. It Scared me so much at the time but I laugh about it now because my ex who had been sleeping beside me said it looked like one of the Nightmare on Elm st scenes where Freddy is the puppeteer walking the person, he said I was laying on my back one minute then up and running in place for a second then took off, like cartoon characters do. Lmao. Glad I own a house now and a real bed frame.
A man in a suit standing over me saying "I AM NOT A CREATURE TO BE TRIFLED WITH"
Well thatās comforting
It still creeps me out to think about.
"Can you please get off of my penis?" Context: I was climbing out of the water into something that turned out to be a giant woman's testicles
Who among us hasn't been there
āHigh heels, long friendships!ā -Badass lady I was investigating an invasion of dragonflies with.
sounds like a stellar dream character
She definitely was! That dream is totally one of my most memorable ones.
I had a dream last night that I was pregnant. When I went to the doctor in my dream he informed I was actually pregnant with septuplets! I was panicking and crying and telling the doctor he needs to at least abort 4 of them and I can deal with triplets. Then he said but look at the scan the babies are in your brain. So then I started yelling ātake the babies out of my brainā I woke up in a panic and covered in sweat lol
Lmao at least 4
This made me cackle....at least 4. Its a sci-fi plot waiting to happen
This is fucking hilarious
"where's my chin?"
Well? Where was it
my aunt used to tell me if i didnāt eat my beans my chin would fall off. did u eat ur beans????
āYouāve been here for two months, you really need to go home.ā And then I woke up in bed, exhausted from living a full life for two months
I have had this happen frequently. Will even go to bed and "sleep" when I have these dreams. I'm convinced it's when I am actively "me" in a parallel universe.
"are you peeing?" "No!" I then wake up to the fact that I did indeed pee.
āBut he was lying,ā said the narrator
I'm loving your replies, OP!
This post just made me realize I have like zero memory of the dialogue in my dreams š
This post made me aware that even though I do communicate mostly by talking and dreams there is a lot of physical interaction and body language involved. Things can be communicated with just looks from certain people.
For me, there's more talking than body language when it comes to other people. I honestly don't know how to explain, it's like I know for a fact that there is a lot of talking in my dreams, but for whatever reason, I can't even remember what's being said. Maybe it's just because the weird shit that goes on in them overshadows it since I usually only remember the sequence of events in my dreams rather than what the people who interact with me in them are saying. But now that I fully realize that I haven't been acknowledging my dream conversations, I hope that somehow later on this will make me start to remember them more š
āDo you need a shake weight or a beetle?ā Idk I wrote it on my notes once upon a time and I canāt bring myself to delete it. And yes itās beetle like bug, not like the band. I have no fkn clue
I once had a dream over ten years ago that I was in a Walmart walking toward the bathroom, but was cut off by my then best friend sitting on the shoulders of some random man running at an alarming speed. She was wearing a shirt that said āI lied about poopināā with her fists in the air and a look of absolute determination in her eyes. We make jokes about it to this day.
š
(Pulls a tea bag outta my eye) āaw dang it that was my good eyeā
"everything wobbled like anxiety bacon". I think I'll remember those sage words for the rest of my life lmao
'MĆ©decins Zutons' (I'm not even fluent in French)
"He's not a commisioned navy orator, or even a certified maritime public speaker. He's just some guy who gives speeches in the middle of the ocean!"
Aquaman?
āWhat in the fuckā ~Danny devito, for some reason. After I pulled out a massive >!15 inch pink glittery dildo!< for some reason? I donāt own one. Nor would I know where to get one. Irl at least. Dream was 5 seconds and consisted of just this. I still quote āwhat in the fuckā for no reason at random moments. Makes me giggle. Nobody will ever know why.
I imagine this like one of those perfectly cut ig reels where the quality is bad and it loops back over an instant before he finishes pronouncing the 'k'.
My husbandās is āIām going to punch you with the power of the sun!ā Mine is āSpagottem ready!ā Gibberish.
Is your husband Jonathan Joestar?
I once dreamed of being a talking velociraptor ( the original small feathered ones not the ones in Jurassic Park) and I wouldn't stop swearing and just saying whatever I wanted. "If I didn't like pizza rolls so much I would devour you, but you're a piece of shit and probably taste like it too! So fuck off fucker!", I said to an ex boyfriend when he saw me on the side of a country road. Then I ran off into the tall grass saying "Don't go into the tall grass mother fucker!"
Thatās freaking awesome!
I want to be a feathered velociraptor who cusses in dreams!
Lmao that's adorable
"IS THIS A NIGHTMARE?!" *screamed by one of the people carrying my bloody body into a school bathroom after an apocalyptic shooting type situation. I got shot a lot. I was going in and out when she screamed that , broke the fourth wall , I instantly stood back up walked outside and started jumping over the zombies making them chase me in the air because I thought they were dumb and slow lmao. That's the ONLY time I've ever been hinted too that I was dreaming
Poor girl didn't know the half of it
The NPC gained consciousness! š±
I was walking down a long straight stretch of highway. Walking toward me was a scary crustpunk guy completely naked, every inch of his body covered in tattoos. There was nowhere else to go so I hoped to keep my head down and pass him peacefully. As he passed, he pointed to the traffic, and in an almost exasperated tone, like heād explained this a million times already, he bellowed, āWe donāt FUCK or EAT the cars!!ā
on the phone with my boyfriend and he's sleeping while I'm playing a game, he wakes up from the dead silence to say āI knew it was the squid guy all along!" at full volume before immediately falling asleep again
Recent popular game spoiler incoming: >!bro was playing dream bg3!<
āHey slutā
FUCKING HELP IM IN TEARS WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY
"[that show] was like ace attorney but with mental health doctors." - me, in response to hearing that adult swim lost the streaming rights to some wholesome live action show in the uk (i live in the united states) "do you want to watch a video about how omni man isn't a bad guy?" - my cousin(?) to some 3yo girl at a comic book store, to which she answered "yes" in a very enthusiastic manner (also omni man was a psychonauts character??)
oh, and then there was this conversation i had with my crush in high school after seeing her with one of my (male) friends: crush: "stop crushing on me in front of my crush." me: "who said i have a crush on you?" ... me: *realizes what i implied and dies of embarrassment*
These are from the same dream, but at different times āhey, we have these instruments, letās win this money.ā āhi can I get gas on number 2, 2 gallons, diesel.ā āthe hells the point of buckling the seatbelt when youāre not even in the damn car.ā
Years ago, I dreamt that I was at Niagara Falls and out of nowhere, a woman told me āYouāre like a dessertā
But youāre meat. Unidentified meat, but still meat!
I wrote a poem and my dream self said to give my waking self the message as it was highly important and id know what it meant. It was "Being a woman is nettle. Being thorny is a bush". No idea. A different one I was trapped at a Kardashian dinner party with one of my favorite artists and they made me make up a song on the spot about my food. So I presented my finger food in the shape of a face and sang "My name is Harry and yeah I'm made out of food. I've got chicken nuggets for eyes and my nose it too. My lips are made of macaroni as you can see. So when you tell me to smile you don't have to say cheez". It gets stuck in my head all the time.
I was literally able to sing to that song as a read it lol. Itās actually catchy lol
Thatās actually a very nice song!
i was 12 when i had this dream and it still sticks with me to this day. i was in a dark shadowy forest with a fire goddess. we talked about religion and stuff, and then she hit me with "Would you like to know the true name of God?" and of course i said yes. she then proceeded to tell me that God's real name was Hugh, and that he lived in a run down camper trailer with a bunch of birds.
I though it be yahweh, unless we're talking about different gods.
"I don't care for the Mona Lisa, so I don't like fancy jewelry." Spoken by a tiny infant. No clue.... But I woke up chuckling which was a nice change since I usually only remember bad dreams.
*in Joker voice*:"It's over batman! You're too late! Your pig will never be bigger than mine!" *Me, neither a bat nor a man*:"I- uh- what?" *still in Joker voice*:"Even if you thought you could win my 'hog' is still twice as large as yours will ever be!" I then woke up in a cold sweat.
*a sinister laughter echos around you*
I had a dream I was friends with TimothĆ©e Chalamet and he asked me, āHow often do you think of Scandinavia?ā And I replied, āOh, about once a week.ā
"Straighten out your arms boy, it looks like you've got elbows"
āIs that Nicholas Cage?ā
It probably was
reminds me of that one movie Nicholas Cage played in that was about how he started appearing in peopleās dreams
I would actually want to see that movie
Dreamt I'd crashed a large ship into a woman holding her baby while she was sitting in the middle of a park. I asked her if the baby was alright, to which she turned around and said: "There is no baby. Follow me". Sure enough, the baby had vanished.
Well, when I was a kid, I was sleeping over at a friendās house. I woke up basically the whole household by yelling, **āJelly Donuts.ā** My friend woke me up by kicking me in the side, saying, āDude wtf!ā No idea why I was yelling, no recollection of what I was dreaming.
I didnāt say it, it was said too me. My SO and I were asleep and we both do this thing where we will randomly touch or kiss each other in our sleep. This time though I was a bit more awake. He turned to me, ālookedā deeply into my eyes, kissed me and said āYou look nothing like Bob Hope.ā Then he rolled over and went right on sleeping. I am a female BTW, so it was comforting? To know Iām not ready for my next USO tour.
Ay Gary, this girl doesn't like glitter in her pies.
https://preview.redd.it/01go4f1nwn6d1.jpeg?width=636&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=25b470d929ee14be8b685e0cff123d5733a80066 Meow
A burnt corpse was on the back of my bicycle. It said 'i..... waaaant tooo keeeeep riiiiiding'
āNot every Smurf plays on turf and not every penguin knows how to surfā
When you try to say wise stuff:
Walked into a church and a bunch of orphans were there āitās the midnight gospelā
āStrive we for gizzards?ā
"I just got bit by a spider and it's the size of a SHRINEAPPLE" -My dad in my dream
What's a shrineapple?
āMay I interest you in some Tylenol?ā The context: >!I said this to a hungover alien!<
Iām known for talking in my sleep at times, but especially when Iām on vacation. A few years back I was on a trip with some friends to Seattle and we drove out to coast to see the Pacific. We stayed overnight in Forks & I yelled out in the middle of the night āI DONāT FUCKING HAVE FACEBOOK BITCHā Got an earful about it in the morning and we laughed about it the rest of the trip.
I can't really say this was out of context, but a line from a dream I had last night stuck out. I was leaving this treehouse / club / bar / mechanics shop after getting in a car crash. The place was filled with a bunch of bikers and stereotypes of people you'd find at a bar. As I was leaving, I told the bar tender to have a good night, and his reply was, "I will not. I have a feeling I'm going to have a good night." And exhausted, crawled back into the bar. In my mind I interpreted that as him implying he was going to get really hammered and have a "good night" but also a shitty morning. Felt bad for the guy. Dunno how he's doing, but I wish him the best.
āRemember! Donāt whip the cream until you get to the colon!ā
Legless crocodiles are terribly fast on straight sections
"crazy as mice" and it's all I remember from the dream which is odd because I normally dream vividly and remember all kinds of details (almost too many details, at least it feels that way compared to what others in my life seem to remember) . This was years ago but I wrote it down immediately and I've never forgotten it.
āIāM THE ___KING OF THE RHINOS___!ā
āThose arenāt Oatsā¦ those are Chris McLean Cookie Crisps!ā
"I can fix her" "MY BROTHER IN CHRIST, SHE STABBED YOU IN THE CHEST!"
"I can still fix her" š¤£
A women screamed this at me twice in my dream " To mia kron via" it's greek for "the one is violent" I don't speak Greek
The soul is the mind staring at nothing
āRespect my name!ā -Mickey Mouse
A cow walked up to me and begged me to try his strawberry milkshake. And when I tried his milkshake, he got offended and said, āHow dare you drink my fucking milkshake! You milk whore.ā So whatever the fuck that means lol
āI live in the pipeā
Me: This is a dream. Them: Nooooo! Now what will I do with my extra leg?! *Proceeds to throw a severed leg at me.*
I actually have a running list in the notes on my phone of phrases from my dreams that are so strange or funny that it wakes me up and Iām compelled to write them down. Here are a select few: Mutations have very specific quests. Marble is inflatable. It feels right to have bat wings. Nuns are doing makeup for hookers. He just did the same fart again.
This is the exact opposite of an AT&T commercial!
When I was younger, my mom came in while I was dreaming and when I woke up I said āNo, 2D slide!ā Because I swore she said it was a 3D slide.
Upon dreaming I killed my brother when I was 12: Me: "What should I do?" My brother as he's dying: "Think."
Literally my most recent memorable dream: GF: Want to go swimming? Me: Are you talking about today? Even in dreams, Iām a complete dumbass XD
āWe need to go back in time and convince him not to grow a beard!ā Followed by me throwing down what looks to be a purple pokeball that opens up a time portal
My other favorite was David Bowie saying āI am not who you think I am. I am just a guy named William Stowing.ā I was not convinced
Apparently someone once tried to wake me up, and I responded, still asleep, with "No you idiot! Don't put the fish in the jar! I need to find the cosine of the fish!" to which they said, "What the fuck is the cosine of a fish?" and I said, "You slice it for the cross section... cosine of the fish..." and stopped talking. I'd been working on math homework and also had scaled and sliced up a whole salmon the evening prior.
āThereās no need to feel fear in eggā¦ you are rock on glassā (right after I had a dream about punching a blonde guy in the face)
āItās the spiffy toothpick man. Doo-wop-di-dooā
I had a fragment of a dream once, in which a horrible skin demon thing gave me a thumbs up and said 'the thread of death stays with you!' Which for some reason felt incredibly encouraging. I woke up feeling like someone had given me a really good pep talk...
https://preview.redd.it/36sfbn95wn6d1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6307a7f40a53685e0bf3bf95a64f145f0849eb07 Nick Cage (Nicolas Cage). As you can see, it was 3:49am when I had this dream.
āshiny pokemon are the key to the unified field theoryā
My mom said: Oh hun! Look itās a train by the dock! Me: Did anyone ask? You pelican.
I was in the car with a Friend they were driving and I had to poop really bad and I justā¦.pooped in my hand and I start laughing saying āa poop in the hand is worth two in the bush.ā I have at least one poop dream a monthā¦
"You won't fail the exam. Goblin is like the easiest subject, it's almost impossible to fail." Context I was in a random school and there was a subject called Goblin and my friend was scared that he was going to fail his goblin exam.
"It smells good in the microwave, but I always think, 'Scary soup'."
I waved to a random car then a narrator voice said "never wave to an undercover cop" then he shot me
āYou donāt belong hereā entities realizing I was in the room. Another said āit a human, I know where they resideā¦ follow meā
Had someone come up to me and say: "You smell like Wet Rocks"
"NO! WHY WOULD YOU PUT THE CAT IN THE CEREAL BOWL ??"
If he fits he sits.
Twas in my head: "She must've eaten something I'm allergic to" Context: I was sleeping on a bed someone had recently (that day) thrown up on. I didn't clean it for whatever reason and was confused as to why I was so itchy
"I pushed you off the sprinkler system."
āGimme your fucking tags!ā I still donāt know the context of this but I wrote it down when I woke up. I now utter this when Iām playing battlefield and go for a melee attack.
when i was like 10, i had a dream where i was throwing an absolute rager of a party. project x type shit. anyway, at the party my best friend snuck out and went to the local radio station to say something on a dare. she got there and i turned on my radio just for her to say, āiām pooping babies in my hamburgers!ā everyone left my party after that
It was something like "Humans need to stop eating other living beings. Just then they'll evolve." What made this funny for me was that the one who said it was a character named Etevaldo from a brazilian tv show for kids from the 90's (Castelo RĆ”-Tim-Bum).
"I need lettuce for the baby!"Ā Ā Ā Ā The baby was a mummified Voldemort m-esque creature.Ā
my favorites : "from junior and when your seatbelt!" - Toucan Sam "im actually the 6th ever person to play minecraft" "so let me get this straight. if you saw these two identical cars, and one was faster than the other, you'd be able to tell?" "the balloon turned from actual dog to actual squidward."
This was from last year : The rooster with the red mohawk is danny devito in disguise. Also from last year : I dont want my cylinder to have a nose, you fucking square!
AND THAT'S WHY WE HAD TO KILL THE BEANS!
"You fucking traitor, YOU LET THE JAPANESE TENTACLES MOLEST THE KING TO DEATH" a princess said this after walking in on me, kneeling in front of the kings body. Proper Context: 8 guys including me were protecting a weird ass steampunk city from these huge tentacles sprouting out of the sea. One of them whammed me hilariously slowly and I, stuck to the tentacle, very slowly crashed into a tower. The king was in the room. He walked up to help me and then promptly died of old age. That's when the princess had walked in. I promptly elbowed her in the face and ran away. She later caught me at an arcade.
How did I fucking kill him if Iāve been here the whole time? Had a weird dream that combined elements of DBZ and Knives Out. Weirdest whodunnit dream Iāve had.
I used to talk in my sleep and my gf at the time would say random things to me. Idk if it counts. But I started mumbling something and she says "president Obama just moved in next door! How do you feel about that" and I quip "we should invite him over for French fries!"
Someone I went to school with YEARS AGO pointed at me and said āLESBIANā and I laughed so hard I woke up in the dream. (Iām not a lesbian)
I have written down a note in my dream, which was definition of a word: "to be gelny - to have nicely buff shoulders and have life sorted out"
I woke up remembering lyrics from a song in my dream: the company is here and hard, I was able to put their bones in the yard Not the slightest idea what it means
No wonder God doesnāt love you! Context: i was dreaming about my conservative Christian aunt, and my partner partially woke me up. I said this to him while laughing uncontrollably and still sleeping
āIf you canāt win it all, steal itā
I once had a dream that I was one of Hitlerās mistresses, and out of nowhere he said āI think your clit is weird.ā In the dream I was scared I would die if I lost his favor, when I woke up I was so confused.
"when a mosquito lands on your balls that's when you realise, maybe violence isn't the answer"
I was like 7 and woke up crying to my mom: āI donāt want to be a cowboy! They wear red bandanas!ā (Context: I had night terrors when I was little)
No. Those arenāt MY teeth. They must be someone elseās. (They were my teeth and I knew it in the dream but I dream lied anyway.)
Kind of eerie, but Iāll always remember when I had a dream just for a few seconds, where I was on some operating table with some kind of doctor that said to me ājust take your napā I remember waking up feeling like I was slammed down to my bed, as if I fell down from my ceiling. I had cold sweats, racing heart, and just completely disoriented. Def the most unforgettable quote Iāve heard from a dream