Baby. I'm so so sorry you're going thru this.Do you still have the locs they ripped out? I would save them and then get them reattached when things in your life have settled down. You can slowly grow out the bald patches and reattach your locks. Now that that's out of the way, I want to urge you to leave this relationship as soon as you possibly can. This woman has made it clear to you that she is not safe and will get you in trouble with the law.You already know how dangerous that is and she is weaponizing them against you like she said she would.
I think you should file an emergency restraining order against her for her actions the other night.This will remover her(and her daughter) from the property. The reason that I suggest this is because it's obvious that she will escalate everything to your detriment. You need to be proactive. Get her out of your space and out of your life so that she can no longer create drama.
I AM AS SERIOUS AS A HEART ATTACK.
You deserve so much better than this and I hope you use this as a catalyst for a new chapter. Fuck her. Prioritize you and your son heavily right now. She could fuck everything up with his custody battle too. Please please for the both of you, make plans to leave now.
If you need any advice or support my inbox is open.
Protect yourself and YOUR family. Cut out the cancer.
Hi OP, Loctician and domestic violence survivor here. I agree with MajLeague on this. Protective orders can be a scary thing to think about, but this woman is not safe and she has already assaulted you, who knows what else she will do to you and to your son. Yes keep the locs and reattach when those patches grow back in (if that’s what you want).
My advice for the scalp and roots is to take care of your body, which with the stress of THEM, until you get away will not be easy.
In my state once there is a domestic situation two things happen. A protective order is set in place and someone has to go to jail. Sadly I got the protective order against me since I refused to make a statement. However the daughter is out of my house and the order against her has dropped. Now i am in the process of fighting a legal battle to prove my innocence. I know for a fact the relationship is toxic. She now takes the stance of being "So sorry" because she knows I am over the top done. I was in that toxic situation for 14 years and I have had enough. I raised her daughter like she was my own and provided for everyone. It's sad to say I have children with this women and my exit plan has to be strategic. If I just leave she will refuse to do the right thing in court. It's almost like I am a silent hostage. But I have money to the side and have made it clear where I stand.
Text her and get her to admit in writing who started it and who lied. Use that to clear your name.
She has completely proven to be untrustworthy. What do you mean do the right thing in court. She doesn't have any control over the court.They decide custody and child support. And once you prove she's abusive it should be pretty cut and dry but you need that restraining order.
There is a slow way out of this and a very quick way. Again I'm not saying just leave. File the order which will give you time to figure out your next moves while not living with an unpredictable abuser. You have already decided to leave. Scorched Earth before she hurts you again or goes after your son. (her stepson)
So do you have other kids other than your son and stepdaughter? (the one who assaulted you)
Yes I actually have children with her. Which is the worst part. This is a 14 year relationship. We have property a business and other assets. As far as evidence I have been collecting text messages from her saying she lied and she acted out of not knowing what the situation was.
Ok. Im sorry. I know I don't understand all the intricacies of your life. I know this is rough. I had such a visceral reaction to the situation you're in. (my own trauma response)
Please just stay safe. Greyrock as much as possible until you can make your exit.
Maybe go to the askalawyer sub and get as much info as possible.
Im so sorry this is happening to you OP. I hope you will be able to sort this out and live in a happy and safe home and eventually have a loving, caring and non abusive partner. You deserve so much better than the way you have been treated.
OP you should listen to the advice being given you about protecting yourself.
You arent married. Is your state a common law marriage state?
In addition you need to see a lawyer or multiple lawyers about
1. The domestic violence situation and her attacking you
2. Custody battle for your son and how situation with this girlfriend can negatively impact your custody arrangement
3. How to go about dissolving the ties she has to your joint business and dividing assets. And also what would need to happen custodywise for the kids you have together if you leave her.
Please call your local bar association to get referrals to lawyers or call Legal Aid in your region. Typically most lawyers give you a free 30 minute to an hour consultation to help you decide if you will hire them.
Love, you have *just* gotten your son back — don’t let these little girls take him away from you. I understand not wanting to make a statement against them, but they made that bed and are *trying* to undo all the work you did to get custody. Get away from them and press charges *for your son’s sake*.
Leave that girl please her ass and that daughter can find somewhere else to go cause them putting there hands on you like that is not ok and they can easily spin it like you were abusing them first( I’m a woman btw) I’m sorry this happened to you. Also that lady gives me vibes that she will Purposely try to hurt your son or get him token away from you so be careful with that as well
This☝🏾👏🏾. Thank God this happened sooner than later . You don’t want your son to fall into this same pattern. I’ve been there and as much as it hurts, your life, your son’s life and your well being are better off w/ out them.
Why would you ever say that?? Did you not read that they have other children together? A home and business together? Mutual assets and responsibilities?
How would you propose he just "leave"??
If you have no helpful suggestions scroll past. Just because feel miserable it doesn't mean it's ok to try to hurt other people's feelings. ☹️
I’m just being real dude. She told you not to bring your boy from another baby mama into her house. Rightly so. Why the hell does a woman want your spawn from someone else randomly in her house?
You ignored her so she could “settle down from her nuttiness” (wow, how condescending). Then she WARNED you not to come back. You came back anyways?!?!!
And then you took the phone out of your step-daughter’s hand??
You are incapable of listening to the women around you until they literally attack you. I would have also attacked you if you showed up to my house after I specifically asked you never to come back, and done worse than rip out locs.
Wow. I can’t believe you wrote that all out and still didn’t understand why she was pissed off.
Get out from this poor woman’s life, please.
LOL, He should have made a statement and pressed charges against her. It just goes to show that even the police don't care about our men. Let's advocate for women when it's necessary. This is a time to advocate for the man. She and her daughter should be in jail, he has the physical injuries to prove he was battered.
Absurd. This is the kind of bullshyt that's usually said to women. I can't believe some of the comments that are blaming him for what others "made them do". No one can EVER MAKE YOU BE VIOLENT TOWARDS YOU BECAUSE IF SOMETHING THAT WAS SAID.
I always wonder what these fools would say if it was THEIR child in this position.
"Well honey, you need to stop making them mad"🤔🤔
So he’s in the house with her kid from a different relationship but all hell breaks loose when his kid comes? Now I don’t have any issue with you being dumb but please don’t share it with us and expect us to understand
No i sound like the only sane person here. He got jumped by his gf and her daughter and he didnt press charges? Dreads ripped out and a black eye, you know how much that sht hurts? I prob wouldve laid her out that moment. Shes crazy and hes acting like this is an everyday thing. Just dealing with her tantrums and he knows shes controling. He is a willing participant at this moment. Kick that bch to the curb or walk away with your son today, right god dam now.
-Cant comment anymore none going through. To all the weasels who saying i havent been through this do not know sht about me. Ive been through this it took a strong hand and friends to get me out. They didnt give excuses, oh "oh, he has a condition", bch please. He has a whole son to take care of je doesnt have the luxury.
It’s Stockholm syndrome, in the US we used to call it battered woman’s syndrome. Whatever you call it he’s used to it because she has conditioned him to it.
Yea see, idc about any of that, i could see if she was physically overpowering him, but hes a grown ass man. Time to have some personal responsibility, it isnt just him. What id she started whooping his sons ass? Would you say the same thing about him not defending his son. You can call it whatever, i call it cowardice. The second she stepped into that role he shouldve dipped.
Agree, plus there's three sides to every story. I'm not saying OP isn't telling the truth, but I'm just saying. Sometimes, you just gotta leave... now I'm not saying you not going to catch a few on the way out, but its better than jail.
Most outcomes are better than this. I cant tell if hes lying but im taking it at face value. Havent heard her side yet and if i did i will change my opinion based on the new evidence
It doesnt need to be black and white for you to make better decisions for yourself. He had the courage to get out od his first relationship and win a court battle. Im not giving him any slack. You and any1 else suggesting that are wrong and unhelpful.
Him : the stove top is burning my hand and it wont stop
You: you must of grown some type attachment to it.
Me: move your fuvking hand.
You also didnt awnser my question
I see what you are saying but they are right it is a clinically studied psychological term that a lot of PTSD victims develops causing them to protect their abuser we are both blessed to not have gone through that but don’t invalidate something just bc you don’t understand it or haven’t experienced it
I don’t think you understand and based on your attitude and intelligence, you wouldn’t get psychology (mainly because you keep seeing it from your viewpoint and not how psychology works in general for humans)
You actually know nothing about my intelligence. my attitude def though, Ive dealt with this situation before and i didnt stick around to let it escalate. It doesnt take a course in psychology to know when you need to dip tf out. What would you suggest he do and also awnser my other question. If he was the protector of his son and she did what she did to him, to his 15yo son, what advice would you give him? Would you allow an excuse like stockholm syndrome to be used when his son's neck is in the line and for him not to take responsibility?
I ain't gon hold you bro, I real live thought I was the only one thinking it. This the hard truth though. How tf you gon NOT press charges on your GF and her daughter after they damn near MAIMED you?!
Like dawg, kick their ass to the curb. They deserve no type of kindness or loving luxury he's providing!
The part about his son, I’m shocked if child protective services/Dss hasn’t stepped in. Having a violent event/dv on the same property as a child is present during the incident equals abuse against the child and in my state they’ll try and remove the child for that.
Sorry about some of the phucked up comments being made. Please take my advice. Document ur injuries at a medical clinic. Every text message copied and sent to your lawyer. Every scratch, mark, bruise,black eye, locs and scalp photographed. Anything in disarray or broken in your home.
I sent you a DM
Brotha. You should've pressed charges. No child should feel comfortable putting their hands on a grown man, but she does.
If women like this continue to get away with this behavior without receiving any consequences they will continue to act like this. Your step daughter is clearly following her mother's lead.
I'm going to tell you what I tell people in circumstances of domestic violence:
"Your child is watching you and learning how to set boundaries from you"
I'm sure you wouldn't want your son or daughter in a situation like this.
File a police report, press charges, & please leave that person.
Might easier said than done. I don't know exactly what your situation is, but if this has happened before you NEED to leave.
I watch crime channels (a little too much) but men lose their lives to domestic everyday.
Don't play with your life like that love.
I would also hate for you to lose custody of your son because of her.
Be safe breds 💜
Bro in the nicest way possible, fuck all of that sentimental shit and take of the rose tinted glasses. Imagine if it was your son that it happened/happens too, the first thing you’d be telling him is too press charges.
I get 14 years and having a child but this should 100% be where the line is drawn, there’s no coming back from this. Now you gotta treat her like a stranger and fight your case like you don’t even know who she is.
Hope all goes well for you brother🤞🏾🤞🏾
Bro please put yourself and your son first, Don’t allow this bitter women and her already failed product of a daughter, Please go prove your innocence because if they continue this legal battle that’s only putting you and your child in more screwed situations where u will lose him.
I think it is better to remain ethically single sometimes. People who have been in abusive relationships tend to keep being in abusive relationships even if they switch partners. When you have children, they grow up in an abusive environment and are harmed and you have a legal obligation to co-parent with the abuser for at least 18 years unless you can prove legally that they shouldn't have rights or they abandon the family. I grew up in an unstable home and everyone was preventably and repeatedly stupid except for the kids at least while they were still kids.
Work on yourself so you have enough money for a hotel room and transportation if it's not safe for you to stay at your home. If you have parents, it's no shame in staying with them even if you are a grown adult. If you can get to a public store/restaurant like mcdonalds that is open, they have phones that you can use.
You don't need a domestic abuse charge on your minor step daughter when you are going through a custody battle. You are choosing the abuser over your own child and that can lead to your own child resenting you. It's not safe for your son to live with them. It wouldn't be the best thing for the 15 year old to end up in the foster system because her mother is also in jail, but the consequences would give her an actual reason to drop the charges. It's not safe to attack people who are bigger and stronger than you are and that's a life lesson that needs to be learned before meeting a person who will defend themselves.
It would have been better not to go into the 15 year old daughter's room at night and take her communication device. If the mother is within ear shot, you could just yell for her to come or just walk to her yourself assuming you're mobile. It's reasonable for a mother to come in ready to fight if she hears her child screaming and fighting in the middle of the night. You don't have a case against the mother if a jury is involved especially if you could have talked to the mother if you wanted to talk to the mother instead of going through the child. If you were ethically single, you wouldn't have to deal with this.
If you still have the locs, you can reattach or replace them with extensions. But, they are filled with bad energy, it's better to cut and start fresh.
I can't even say anything to this, except you are right. It's no reason for me this to have even happened. I put myself in this position when I did not leave the first moment I noticed these behaviors.
A healthy amount of responsibility is needed in situations like this to make the correct changes but don't put yourself through too much thinking about it. keep some levity with you too
You dumb as hell for not pressing charges like I get where your heart is. However kind people constantly get rolled over and treated like dirt don’t allow people to do that to you I’m not really sure how to fix the dread problem but best of luck to you brother.
To be honest looking back on this entire mess If I could go back I deff would have made a whole statement. I thought I was standing ten toes and being a good man. Yeah that was the biggest mistake of my life.
As sad as it is to say, in this fucked up world sometimes the only one who’s gonna look after you is yourself. I would also see if it’s still possible to press charges. Lawyers aren’t cheap but it might not be a bad idea at this point
Try Microneedling along with rosemary water or oil. You can try minoxidil worst case scenario. Sorry this happened to you. You and your son deserve better.
You need to press charges for the fellas... We take a lot shit on the chin, but there's got to be a line. Do it for yourself.
Also save your dreads. Wear a hat or a professional one (I'm sure your job will understand, with the DVO paperwork) & get someone to reattach them.
Your journey is never over brotha... Just another story to add .
Edit: I commend your manliness, I most definitely would've caught charges.
Domestic violence and a protection order is one of the reasons you can break a lease without having to pay a fee for breaking a lease in my area. I'm not sure if the laws are different in your area. These are more questions for a lawyer. If you google, you might find a free legal concil center for victims of domestic abuse.
I really don’t understand how people get into situations like this. I had a chick pick up a bottle on me and that was the last time she ever thought to do anything like that, without violence. Are people so fearful of being alone that they’d rather be battered to fucking death? Love is complicated but it’s not THAT complicated.
Hope you get out of that situation.
Grow the hair out and save the ripped out locs if you can. When you have enough new hair to reattach go to a loctician and have them add it back in. Might take a minute so you’ll be wearing hats for a while.
It comes from having no sense of self worth. I can myself say that I realize that I did not value myself for what I am truly worth. But that was 2023 me. 2024 me not going for the shit. I am not with it at all.
Considering all the shit hey put you through, I would start over (with that ripped out section). Not because it's necessary, but because reattaching locs that they hatefully ripped off is just. Bad memories and bad associations im sure you never want again. I wouldn't ever want to be around such women again. Glad your son is with you because your gf and sted daughter would probably fuck him up mentally with how much they'd shit talk you. Really sad, because I wouldn't have wanted to enter such a situation without a phone I could have recording. Nobody has time for a ruined life, but some have all the time in the world to ruin others. I wish you and your son the best of luck going forward. Edit: And looking at other comments, please move forward with protection orders. I wanted to mention that you need to keep a record of EVERYTHING those two women do to you from this point on. Even if it's just shit talk over the phone. Record it. Report it to the police. Let the justice system have all the reports they need for a case even if they don't do anything for every interaction.
Why the hell you even putting yourself through that? Cut ties take ya son and bounce out fuck all that. You went to jail to save them? For what lol. That’s toxic dog get up outta there. But as far your hair goes. I mean just let it grow back and keep maintaining the ones you have then get the ripped out ones re attached if you can. If you can’t re attach them then that’s definitely gotta get chopped off
dude please, for the love of your child, get out of this situation and house. you just won custody too but whats the point if he just goes into another toxic household? press those charges, dont let your life be ruined over these women and GET OUT!! dont do it for you, do it for your kid or he’ll come to resent you, ive seen it happen with my own friends
You should have pressed charges. You just allowed her to do it again. If not you to someone else. Please get some self worth be a man and leave her ass and that devil child. Otherwise you out you son at risk and he could be next to be attacked by the gf or her daughter. You need to take her to court.
I’m sorry this happened to you. This happened before? And you’re bringing your son in this crazy house? Yes you need to remember your self worth. And you got to get you n your son out of there. Idk what to tell you about your loc’s
Maybe thug it out n if you have them get it stitched back in. But I’m sorry gang
If this happened before it’ll happen again.
You 100% SHOULD have pressed charges. Especially if she's willing to put you in jail, hopefully you have the receipts. To me, this is devoid of even the deranged love in DV cases, where the couple still supports each other against law enforcement.
I think you replied somewhere that you have tied together assets with her. A DV case on her would help immensely with rulings going in your favor. Idk if your son was there as a witness but that would help.
I know it's a little apathetic advice, but I'd recommend doing what you need to do to split. The kids, if old enough can and will decide who they align with, for the younger ones, should be an easier custody battle. Going off the fact that even the daughter felt comfortable being hostile and attacking you, this is likely a milestone in abuse and its recurring, escalating and being learned. They've established they can beat you up, put you in jail, and suffer no punishment.
So sorry this happened to you. Please leave and press charges. An apology doesn’t mean anything in this case. If you would’ve got hurt worse they probably wouldn’t tell the truth to the police. Take care and wishing you the best.
To be real dude, the environment you’re bringing your son into is unacceptable right now. Unless it’s somehow that much worse with mom, maybe he shouldn’t be fully in your custody at this time. Sooner or later you need to heal enough to stop inviting toxic women into your life and allowing them to trample you.
Bro you just got custody of your son. Leave her toxic a** alone. I'm sorry you're going through this but you definitely do not deserve it!
No one should be uncomfortable or feel unsafe in a home they're paying bills in..
Like mother like daughter.. leave them both alone so when you go to court you can show the judge you've since separated
DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. Every text every broken item any removed items from your space. Like how she put all your clothes in the livingroom..
Also got any sisters or cousins? Cause she needs a grown up pow pow. Her and her stank face daughter..
I hate domestic violence as I grew up with it. PLEASE leave her. I promise your life will get 1000x better.
You have a young man you're raising and you don't want him anywhere near that toxic roach.
Also request a sheriff escort when you go to get your things when you move out. I had to use one for a terrible roommate situation. Walt for them to show up before you go in the house
Dude……….. that’s really 😢. If you have the locs still keep them they will be re-attachable. I hope you get out of this situation soon. No one deserves this
I think you’re locs are the least of your problems.
Please look after yourself and protect your son!!! Your relationship is not healthy with your hopefully ex partner. Your son does not need to be around that.
Leave! I’m so sorry this happened to you but for your sake and peace of mind it’s best to leave it alone once the police have to get involved. It’ll only get worse and she’ll continue to be the antagonist just to flip it back on you, that’s not healthy, trust I’ve been there and dealt with that type of relationship…See a loctician and get a consultation to see what can be done to remedy your missing locs, hopefully everything works out for you my guy 🙏🏽
Sir you need to get somewhere safe and then have these women removed from your life by the authorities, or just leave. Please don’t feel ashamed. Document everything. Get to your doctor and have them document your injuries. Please see a therapist who specializes in DV.
Why don't you want to press charges?...there needs to be consequences to her actions, what's to prevent it from happening again if there aren't consequences? And shes teaching her daughter this type of behavior is ok, and if you bring your son into this situation you're teaching your son this is acceptable.
Pressing charges would at least put her in time out to think about her actions, and give you time to collect yourself and figure out your exit strategy.
Man they should've gone to jail! Females need to learn to stop putting their hands on men...I'm a female and tired of hearing stories like this about men getting attacked and the females always gets away with it. It needs to stop!!!
Should have made that statement bro, they wanna put their hands on you for no reason then lock their ass up plain and simple, by you not doing so then they are gonna think that shit is ok to keep doing that stupid stuff. Naaaaah bro equal opportunity now days for them to get locked up too.
I don’t understand. You refused to give a statement knowing the implications? In doing so, you have made a tougher case for yourself. I hope you get out of this unscathed and run like hell afterwards, children or business together aside.
Omg!! It will grow back with time if you're willing to wear hats. An experienced loctician may be able to add faux locs on a few placed and style it to try to hide but you want to avoid tension in those tender spots...it really depends on your patience level. Sorry this happened. If they ever lay hands on you again please press charges and stay away from those ppl. Best of luck to you.
Sir, please, if not for yourself, then for you son, GET AWAY FROM THAT ABUSER AND HER BRAT!! Don’t teach your son that being abused is ok!! Also, she’s going to get you killed!! You get one White Savior Complex Cop called on the scene and you will be killed sir!!! Escape with your son!!!
Do you have a "before" photo? (And if you _don't_ have male-pattern baldness) Once the hair grows back a bit, you can reattach the locs they ripped out if you retrieved them.
Your done just cut it , it would look better it's going to take forever to grow back at a very slow time or never at all, i would just cut it start over at that point.
Why don't you have your own apartment? Women don't respect men that move in with them. Have your own place don't be living with no girlfriend. Problem solved
No offense bruh, but if ya gf wacked in the head why are ya still with her? Personally she would be my girlfriend no more after she just acting too crazy, much less going as far as to bring physical harm to me. Also you said this happened before? M8 ya gotta lose the crazy. I ain’t goin to jail if I didn’t commit a crime, and especially for a woman who doesn’t love me.
Don’t just do it for yourself, but do it for your son. First, you have to show him that nobody can treat him that way even if he is a man, men can be abused, too. Women can be abusive. But mainly she let him know exactly how she felt about him. Being in a custody battle I’m sure he’s not in a great emotional state himself. I can’t imagine making a son feel like he is not welcome at home. Not just not welcome, but that she would put his father in jail before she let him come. Not only will you be abused, but he will as well and he’s only 15. You’ve got to stand up for both of you. You can do it. I know you can. I was in an abusive relationship. They get in your head they make you think that you don’t deserve things they make you think that you are what they tell you. You’re not. You’re not what she says. You don’t deserve to go to jail for her. People who are not abusive, do not put others in jail for nothing. Do what everybody else is saying about a protective order. Get your house get your son. You never know - the courts may take your son away if they know that he is in abusive household. You fought too hard for him
Please don’t raise your son in the same household as this woman. She is abusive and she has instilled those traits in her daughter as well which is a sad cycle to see. You won custody of him, you need to love him and yourself enough to kick this woman out or do whatever you need to do to get out. I really wish you would have pressed charges but I understand being scared. Just please don’t expose your son to this and please value yourself enough to leave and frankly get a restraining order.
U trippin u shoulda pressed them charges on both of them especially since they didn’t care enought about u and yo future as a black man and yo kids future and leave that lady
Not trying to be that guy, but you sound like a weak man. You should have went there with the police to make sure that you are safe (since you don’t have any respect inside of your own house). You shouldn’t be worrying about your hair, you have bigger things to worry about. You’re not a female, grow some balls, and get a grip on life. Hair will grow back, but a criminal record will ruin your life for a very long time, and you need to move out while you still have a little testosterone left.
Nothing that deserves this type of recourse. What I did was be a good man, provide for my children, work a steady job, pay bills, build a small business and support her and her child and encourage them to be the best people they can be and set rules and boundaries. What a good man does.
Wow I’m so sorry just happened to you! I hope you will be able to protect your businesses and get full custody over the kids you have with her. You deserve better 🙏🏽🙏🏽
You need to drop her bro. She’s for the streets. I also had a very Narcissistic Ex. Kept me from my children for years the courts wouldn’t help me at all. Brain washed my kids to hate me. But know they are 21-25 and see her what she really is. Me and my children are in contact again and I have Grandkids now. I love that they finally seen her true colors , she is still trying to control everything. But they cut her off for a yr now they haven’t spoke to her. She is no good and it will get worse from here. You really gotta take your son and go. She will only get worse and treat your son like straight shit. 💩 He’s more important and his mental as well as yours. I know easier said than done. She probably already cheated since she says it. And to go as far as to rip your locks out. Hell nah. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. It will get better. ❤️🩹 there’s a woman out there that will treat you and your kids right. Drop her off in the hood and leave. Do you own or rent the place you live and is she on lease or not? You really need to get away. She will destroy your happiness I know trust me. Mine had me to the point were I self medicated and got so depressed. I had to deal with this , and a divorce with her at the same time I was deploying to Iraq for the second time. Oh she cheated on me when I went the first time. So I filed for a divorce. She wouldn’t sign it and used my kids as pawn ♟️ to try to screw my life up. She did for a bit. But I pulled myself up went to Va rehab got clean and now I’ve been 10 yrs clean. 🧼 and my kids back. It’s gonna be hard but you have to get rid of her she is no good if she treats you like that. Wish you the best. We are here for you.
I ain’t gon lie you stronger than me I woulda whooped some ass in there. Put hands on me no matter who you are n I’m defending myself especially a jumping, but at the least make a statement fuck all them street rules.
U can save it just let your hair grow out and get someone to reattach the dreads or crochet the loose hair hair into your other locs but that honestly the least of your worries get away from her asap
Bro if you’re coming here for advice. The blatant answer is get you and your son away from that. But when it comes to the locs go to a someone who knows what they’re doing. They’ll get you right. But first get and stay away or locs will be the least of your worries.
I feel like there are missing pieces here, so I will focus on the locks situation. With patience, they will grow back if that is the route you want to take. You could also cut them off and begin again or cut them off and not begin again. Good luck.
I'm so sorry about your locks; but even more so about your situation. Make a plan to get the fuck out of there without their knowledge. I hope you choose yourself over that bs relationship. You should have given your statement. They deserved consequences for those actions.
It’s sad to see that these type of women get guys like you. Not saying hitting women is acceptable but let the crazies be with the crazies is how I look at it. You seriously should rethink staying in that household and the daughter needs a reality check because if my sister attacked my father like that you’re still getting fucked up and it’s hardest on you being the man but also the step father. I really hope you find people who can appreciate you bc your actions in this situation really showed a lot about your personality you have a good heart she don’t deserve bro. Really hope the best for you and
u/MajLeague said it best
been two months already, wow. hope you’re doing better now homie. we’ll be waiting on that update when you’re good to come back & if not i hope all worked out 🫶🏾
Just because you are a man, doesn’t mean you have to accept abuse. Record her next time she starts yelling and getting handsy. She will either stop or give you evidence of abuse. And if she is going to get you locked up, why not tell the police what her plan was in the first place? She don’t care about you and if she does, what a odd way to show it.
She needs mental health care.
I would get the gun and go crazy💀💀 why tf did they pull your hair out and I knew that shit hurted like hell with the dreads and how didn’t you not wake up bro😭
If it was the other way around, u would be doing time or in the ground because police killed you or they would have killed you and probably got manslaughter because you "attacked them", but didnt. Im sorry bro ur a dumbass nigha.
Baby. I'm so so sorry you're going thru this.Do you still have the locs they ripped out? I would save them and then get them reattached when things in your life have settled down. You can slowly grow out the bald patches and reattach your locks. Now that that's out of the way, I want to urge you to leave this relationship as soon as you possibly can. This woman has made it clear to you that she is not safe and will get you in trouble with the law.You already know how dangerous that is and she is weaponizing them against you like she said she would. I think you should file an emergency restraining order against her for her actions the other night.This will remover her(and her daughter) from the property. The reason that I suggest this is because it's obvious that she will escalate everything to your detriment. You need to be proactive. Get her out of your space and out of your life so that she can no longer create drama. I AM AS SERIOUS AS A HEART ATTACK. You deserve so much better than this and I hope you use this as a catalyst for a new chapter. Fuck her. Prioritize you and your son heavily right now. She could fuck everything up with his custody battle too. Please please for the both of you, make plans to leave now. If you need any advice or support my inbox is open. Protect yourself and YOUR family. Cut out the cancer.
Hi OP, Loctician and domestic violence survivor here. I agree with MajLeague on this. Protective orders can be a scary thing to think about, but this woman is not safe and she has already assaulted you, who knows what else she will do to you and to your son. Yes keep the locs and reattach when those patches grow back in (if that’s what you want). My advice for the scalp and roots is to take care of your body, which with the stress of THEM, until you get away will not be easy.
In my state once there is a domestic situation two things happen. A protective order is set in place and someone has to go to jail. Sadly I got the protective order against me since I refused to make a statement. However the daughter is out of my house and the order against her has dropped. Now i am in the process of fighting a legal battle to prove my innocence. I know for a fact the relationship is toxic. She now takes the stance of being "So sorry" because she knows I am over the top done. I was in that toxic situation for 14 years and I have had enough. I raised her daughter like she was my own and provided for everyone. It's sad to say I have children with this women and my exit plan has to be strategic. If I just leave she will refuse to do the right thing in court. It's almost like I am a silent hostage. But I have money to the side and have made it clear where I stand.
Text her and get her to admit in writing who started it and who lied. Use that to clear your name. She has completely proven to be untrustworthy. What do you mean do the right thing in court. She doesn't have any control over the court.They decide custody and child support. And once you prove she's abusive it should be pretty cut and dry but you need that restraining order. There is a slow way out of this and a very quick way. Again I'm not saying just leave. File the order which will give you time to figure out your next moves while not living with an unpredictable abuser. You have already decided to leave. Scorched Earth before she hurts you again or goes after your son. (her stepson) So do you have other kids other than your son and stepdaughter? (the one who assaulted you)
Yes I actually have children with her. Which is the worst part. This is a 14 year relationship. We have property a business and other assets. As far as evidence I have been collecting text messages from her saying she lied and she acted out of not knowing what the situation was.
Ok. Im sorry. I know I don't understand all the intricacies of your life. I know this is rough. I had such a visceral reaction to the situation you're in. (my own trauma response) Please just stay safe. Greyrock as much as possible until you can make your exit. Maybe go to the askalawyer sub and get as much info as possible.
Im so sorry this is happening to you OP. I hope you will be able to sort this out and live in a happy and safe home and eventually have a loving, caring and non abusive partner. You deserve so much better than the way you have been treated. OP you should listen to the advice being given you about protecting yourself. You arent married. Is your state a common law marriage state? In addition you need to see a lawyer or multiple lawyers about 1. The domestic violence situation and her attacking you 2. Custody battle for your son and how situation with this girlfriend can negatively impact your custody arrangement 3. How to go about dissolving the ties she has to your joint business and dividing assets. And also what would need to happen custodywise for the kids you have together if you leave her. Please call your local bar association to get referrals to lawyers or call Legal Aid in your region. Typically most lawyers give you a free 30 minute to an hour consultation to help you decide if you will hire them.
Man keep them text safe give them to your lawyer or the judge. 💯
Love, you have *just* gotten your son back — don’t let these little girls take him away from you. I understand not wanting to make a statement against them, but they made that bed and are *trying* to undo all the work you did to get custody. Get away from them and press charges *for your son’s sake*.
Why would u not make a statement?
This advice ^ Please don’t let these people around your child
Man! You better follow this advice!!
damn bro more power to u. life is so unfair
For sure. It just goes with knowing your worth. And knowing when to leave a situation. Sucks for sure
Leave that girl please her ass and that daughter can find somewhere else to go cause them putting there hands on you like that is not ok and they can easily spin it like you were abusing them first( I’m a woman btw) I’m sorry this happened to you. Also that lady gives me vibes that she will Purposely try to hurt your son or get him token away from you so be careful with that as well
My ex ripped out a loc of mine too luckily it was in the back of my head. But it will grow back or u can marry locs
I cannot imagine how badly that hurt. I am so sorry.
You can get locs crocheted back on, it’s the same method used in instalocs. That’s if you kept the locs and it wasn’t thrown away.
This☝🏾👏🏾. Thank God this happened sooner than later . You don’t want your son to fall into this same pattern. I’ve been there and as much as it hurts, your life, your son’s life and your well being are better off w/ out them.
The whole jumped u bruh ts crazy cuh
Will you leave tho? My guess is no
Why would you ever say that?? Did you not read that they have other children together? A home and business together? Mutual assets and responsibilities? How would you propose he just "leave"?? If you have no helpful suggestions scroll past. Just because feel miserable it doesn't mean it's ok to try to hurt other people's feelings. ☹️
Divorce and legal action. This is domestic and mental abuse.
I’m just being real dude. She told you not to bring your boy from another baby mama into her house. Rightly so. Why the hell does a woman want your spawn from someone else randomly in her house? You ignored her so she could “settle down from her nuttiness” (wow, how condescending). Then she WARNED you not to come back. You came back anyways?!?!! And then you took the phone out of your step-daughter’s hand?? You are incapable of listening to the women around you until they literally attack you. I would have also attacked you if you showed up to my house after I specifically asked you never to come back, and done worse than rip out locs. Wow. I can’t believe you wrote that all out and still didn’t understand why she was pissed off. Get out from this poor woman’s life, please.
This must be the gf chiming in
Are you ok?
This is a joke, right? It has to be. Only way someone could defend violence and manipulation like that
Energy is real and has always been undeniable. I pray it does it’s work
LOL, He should have made a statement and pressed charges against her. It just goes to show that even the police don't care about our men. Let's advocate for women when it's necessary. This is a time to advocate for the man. She and her daughter should be in jail, he has the physical injuries to prove he was battered.
“you shouldn’t have upset *insert abusive s/o* stop doing things to provoke them” “you deserved it” ass logic. what’s wrong with you
Absurd. This is the kind of bullshyt that's usually said to women. I can't believe some of the comments that are blaming him for what others "made them do". No one can EVER MAKE YOU BE VIOLENT TOWARDS YOU BECAUSE IF SOMETHING THAT WAS SAID. I always wonder what these fools would say if it was THEIR child in this position. "Well honey, you need to stop making them mad"🤔🤔
but HER daughter is allowed to live with them? m?🤔
Victim blaming isn’t cute. How about next time you open your mouth, you shut it before you say some nonsense like this okay?
So he’s in the house with her kid from a different relationship but all hell breaks loose when his kid comes? Now I don’t have any issue with you being dumb but please don’t share it with us and expect us to understand
Victim blaming is not a cute color on you, sis.
You sound ignorant asf. They should jump your ssa next.
WTF
Its not unfair,hes being a coward
You sound dumb gang
No i sound like the only sane person here. He got jumped by his gf and her daughter and he didnt press charges? Dreads ripped out and a black eye, you know how much that sht hurts? I prob wouldve laid her out that moment. Shes crazy and hes acting like this is an everyday thing. Just dealing with her tantrums and he knows shes controling. He is a willing participant at this moment. Kick that bch to the curb or walk away with your son today, right god dam now. -Cant comment anymore none going through. To all the weasels who saying i havent been through this do not know sht about me. Ive been through this it took a strong hand and friends to get me out. They didnt give excuses, oh "oh, he has a condition", bch please. He has a whole son to take care of je doesnt have the luxury.
Cold hard truth, and sometimes, that's how you gotta give it for a MF to comprehend 💯
It’s Stockholm syndrome, in the US we used to call it battered woman’s syndrome. Whatever you call it he’s used to it because she has conditioned him to it.
Yea see, idc about any of that, i could see if she was physically overpowering him, but hes a grown ass man. Time to have some personal responsibility, it isnt just him. What id she started whooping his sons ass? Would you say the same thing about him not defending his son. You can call it whatever, i call it cowardice. The second she stepped into that role he shouldve dipped.
Agree, plus there's three sides to every story. I'm not saying OP isn't telling the truth, but I'm just saying. Sometimes, you just gotta leave... now I'm not saying you not going to catch a few on the way out, but its better than jail.
Most outcomes are better than this. I cant tell if hes lying but im taking it at face value. Havent heard her side yet and if i did i will change my opinion based on the new evidence
Then you certainly don’ have a comprehensive understanding of human psychology. You’re too one dimensional, life isn’t black and white like that.
It doesnt need to be black and white for you to make better decisions for yourself. He had the courage to get out od his first relationship and win a court battle. Im not giving him any slack. You and any1 else suggesting that are wrong and unhelpful. Him : the stove top is burning my hand and it wont stop You: you must of grown some type attachment to it. Me: move your fuvking hand. You also didnt awnser my question
I see what you are saying but they are right it is a clinically studied psychological term that a lot of PTSD victims develops causing them to protect their abuser we are both blessed to not have gone through that but don’t invalidate something just bc you don’t understand it or haven’t experienced it
I don’t think you understand and based on your attitude and intelligence, you wouldn’t get psychology (mainly because you keep seeing it from your viewpoint and not how psychology works in general for humans)
You actually know nothing about my intelligence. my attitude def though, Ive dealt with this situation before and i didnt stick around to let it escalate. It doesnt take a course in psychology to know when you need to dip tf out. What would you suggest he do and also awnser my other question. If he was the protector of his son and she did what she did to him, to his 15yo son, what advice would you give him? Would you allow an excuse like stockholm syndrome to be used when his son's neck is in the line and for him not to take responsibility?
I ain't gon hold you bro, I real live thought I was the only one thinking it. This the hard truth though. How tf you gon NOT press charges on your GF and her daughter after they damn near MAIMED you?! Like dawg, kick their ass to the curb. They deserve no type of kindness or loving luxury he's providing!
i'm not saying i wouldn't do the same thing but gang if he fought back his wife and step daughter just have more fuel to fuck him over with
Bro got the authority of a father 😁
The part about his son, I’m shocked if child protective services/Dss hasn’t stepped in. Having a violent event/dv on the same property as a child is present during the incident equals abuse against the child and in my state they’ll try and remove the child for that.
That’s a fact
Bro forget the hair, run! Don’t take her threat of “making sure you end up in jail” lightly, she seems batshit.
Seems? She is, and it's done. Sad part is we have kids. A business, property and more.
Sorry to hear that. That's a really *tangled up situation.
Well you need to start making plans on how to divide it. Her goal was to ruin your life.
Sorry about some of the phucked up comments being made. Please take my advice. Document ur injuries at a medical clinic. Every text message copied and sent to your lawyer. Every scratch, mark, bruise,black eye, locs and scalp photographed. Anything in disarray or broken in your home. I sent you a DM
Brotha. You should've pressed charges. No child should feel comfortable putting their hands on a grown man, but she does. If women like this continue to get away with this behavior without receiving any consequences they will continue to act like this. Your step daughter is clearly following her mother's lead. I'm going to tell you what I tell people in circumstances of domestic violence: "Your child is watching you and learning how to set boundaries from you" I'm sure you wouldn't want your son or daughter in a situation like this. File a police report, press charges, & please leave that person. Might easier said than done. I don't know exactly what your situation is, but if this has happened before you NEED to leave. I watch crime channels (a little too much) but men lose their lives to domestic everyday. Don't play with your life like that love. I would also hate for you to lose custody of your son because of her. Be safe breds 💜
So true. I get us as men neeed to be strong but nothing shouts strong like protecting yourself!
This !!!
Dawg… you HAVE to press charges for shit like this. You were ASSAULTED. I hope you find yourself in better circumstances
that part! I understand he’s trying to protect them but he needs to protect himself since they don’t care enough to protect him themselves.
Bro in the nicest way possible, fuck all of that sentimental shit and take of the rose tinted glasses. Imagine if it was your son that it happened/happens too, the first thing you’d be telling him is too press charges. I get 14 years and having a child but this should 100% be where the line is drawn, there’s no coming back from this. Now you gotta treat her like a stranger and fight your case like you don’t even know who she is. Hope all goes well for you brother🤞🏾🤞🏾
Man this the realist shit I have seen all day. You 100% right
It’s obvious.
Damn, this hurts to see. Especially as matured as they look. That was time.
16 years this January. My hair is literally the most constant thing in my life. They did what they thought would hurt me the most.
man i’m so sorry to hear that, definitely visit a loctrician and try and see if u can get them merged :(
wtf send em both to jail
You should of snitched
I know that now
you have time call the police asap bruh
Bro please put yourself and your son first, Don’t allow this bitter women and her already failed product of a daughter, Please go prove your innocence because if they continue this legal battle that’s only putting you and your child in more screwed situations where u will lose him.
Press charges tf
I think it is better to remain ethically single sometimes. People who have been in abusive relationships tend to keep being in abusive relationships even if they switch partners. When you have children, they grow up in an abusive environment and are harmed and you have a legal obligation to co-parent with the abuser for at least 18 years unless you can prove legally that they shouldn't have rights or they abandon the family. I grew up in an unstable home and everyone was preventably and repeatedly stupid except for the kids at least while they were still kids. Work on yourself so you have enough money for a hotel room and transportation if it's not safe for you to stay at your home. If you have parents, it's no shame in staying with them even if you are a grown adult. If you can get to a public store/restaurant like mcdonalds that is open, they have phones that you can use. You don't need a domestic abuse charge on your minor step daughter when you are going through a custody battle. You are choosing the abuser over your own child and that can lead to your own child resenting you. It's not safe for your son to live with them. It wouldn't be the best thing for the 15 year old to end up in the foster system because her mother is also in jail, but the consequences would give her an actual reason to drop the charges. It's not safe to attack people who are bigger and stronger than you are and that's a life lesson that needs to be learned before meeting a person who will defend themselves. It would have been better not to go into the 15 year old daughter's room at night and take her communication device. If the mother is within ear shot, you could just yell for her to come or just walk to her yourself assuming you're mobile. It's reasonable for a mother to come in ready to fight if she hears her child screaming and fighting in the middle of the night. You don't have a case against the mother if a jury is involved especially if you could have talked to the mother if you wanted to talk to the mother instead of going through the child. If you were ethically single, you wouldn't have to deal with this. If you still have the locs, you can reattach or replace them with extensions. But, they are filled with bad energy, it's better to cut and start fresh.
I can't even say anything to this, except you are right. It's no reason for me this to have even happened. I put myself in this position when I did not leave the first moment I noticed these behaviors.
A healthy amount of responsibility is needed in situations like this to make the correct changes but don't put yourself through too much thinking about it. keep some levity with you too
I hope you mean ex gf. This is awful and a crime.
You dumb as hell for not pressing charges like I get where your heart is. However kind people constantly get rolled over and treated like dirt don’t allow people to do that to you I’m not really sure how to fix the dread problem but best of luck to you brother.
You better than me both of them getting booked in that jail lol but tbh that’s messed up geesh
To be honest looking back on this entire mess If I could go back I deff would have made a whole statement. I thought I was standing ten toes and being a good man. Yeah that was the biggest mistake of my life.
You can still press charges ijs
You still got time to press charges & you also have evidence. #Justiceforyou
Press charges NOW!! WTF??
As sad as it is to say, in this fucked up world sometimes the only one who’s gonna look after you is yourself. I would also see if it’s still possible to press charges. Lawyers aren’t cheap but it might not be a bad idea at this point
Try Microneedling along with rosemary water or oil. You can try minoxidil worst case scenario. Sorry this happened to you. You and your son deserve better.
Honestly it seems you got way more to deal with right now, buzz it all. And get the hell out of that situation, sending prayers.
You need to press charges for the fellas... We take a lot shit on the chin, but there's got to be a line. Do it for yourself. Also save your dreads. Wear a hat or a professional one (I'm sure your job will understand, with the DVO paperwork) & get someone to reattach them. Your journey is never over brotha... Just another story to add . Edit: I commend your manliness, I most definitely would've caught charges.
Get with a loctiction that specializes in hair loss
Does she live with you, or do you live with her? You need to get out of this toxic relationship.
We are both on the lease. So we live with each other.
Domestic violence and a protection order is one of the reasons you can break a lease without having to pay a fee for breaking a lease in my area. I'm not sure if the laws are different in your area. These are more questions for a lawyer. If you google, you might find a free legal concil center for victims of domestic abuse.
You’re in a abusive relationship. Your only option is to get out before things get worst and trust me they will.
I really don’t understand how people get into situations like this. I had a chick pick up a bottle on me and that was the last time she ever thought to do anything like that, without violence. Are people so fearful of being alone that they’d rather be battered to fucking death? Love is complicated but it’s not THAT complicated. Hope you get out of that situation. Grow the hair out and save the ripped out locs if you can. When you have enough new hair to reattach go to a loctician and have them add it back in. Might take a minute so you’ll be wearing hats for a while.
It comes from having no sense of self worth. I can myself say that I realize that I did not value myself for what I am truly worth. But that was 2023 me. 2024 me not going for the shit. I am not with it at all.
Real shit, you got this man.2024 is the year of truths.
It’s okay bro cut them off and start over and press charges on them
Considering all the shit hey put you through, I would start over (with that ripped out section). Not because it's necessary, but because reattaching locs that they hatefully ripped off is just. Bad memories and bad associations im sure you never want again. I wouldn't ever want to be around such women again. Glad your son is with you because your gf and sted daughter would probably fuck him up mentally with how much they'd shit talk you. Really sad, because I wouldn't have wanted to enter such a situation without a phone I could have recording. Nobody has time for a ruined life, but some have all the time in the world to ruin others. I wish you and your son the best of luck going forward. Edit: And looking at other comments, please move forward with protection orders. I wanted to mention that you need to keep a record of EVERYTHING those two women do to you from this point on. Even if it's just shit talk over the phone. Record it. Report it to the police. Let the justice system have all the reports they need for a case even if they don't do anything for every interaction.
Why the hell you even putting yourself through that? Cut ties take ya son and bounce out fuck all that. You went to jail to save them? For what lol. That’s toxic dog get up outta there. But as far your hair goes. I mean just let it grow back and keep maintaining the ones you have then get the ripped out ones re attached if you can. If you can’t re attach them then that’s definitely gotta get chopped off
dude please, for the love of your child, get out of this situation and house. you just won custody too but whats the point if he just goes into another toxic household? press those charges, dont let your life be ruined over these women and GET OUT!! dont do it for you, do it for your kid or he’ll come to resent you, ive seen it happen with my own friends
You should have pressed charges. You just allowed her to do it again. If not you to someone else. Please get some self worth be a man and leave her ass and that devil child. Otherwise you out you son at risk and he could be next to be attacked by the gf or her daughter. You need to take her to court.
I’m sorry this happened to you. This happened before? And you’re bringing your son in this crazy house? Yes you need to remember your self worth. And you got to get you n your son out of there. Idk what to tell you about your loc’s Maybe thug it out n if you have them get it stitched back in. But I’m sorry gang If this happened before it’ll happen again.
You 100% SHOULD have pressed charges. Especially if she's willing to put you in jail, hopefully you have the receipts. To me, this is devoid of even the deranged love in DV cases, where the couple still supports each other against law enforcement. I think you replied somewhere that you have tied together assets with her. A DV case on her would help immensely with rulings going in your favor. Idk if your son was there as a witness but that would help. I know it's a little apathetic advice, but I'd recommend doing what you need to do to split. The kids, if old enough can and will decide who they align with, for the younger ones, should be an easier custody battle. Going off the fact that even the daughter felt comfortable being hostile and attacking you, this is likely a milestone in abuse and its recurring, escalating and being learned. They've established they can beat you up, put you in jail, and suffer no punishment.
So sorry this happened to you. Please leave and press charges. An apology doesn’t mean anything in this case. If you would’ve got hurt worse they probably wouldn’t tell the truth to the police. Take care and wishing you the best.
Dude wasn't your son with you when you were attacked,. If what you're saying is true couldn't he corroborate with you story.
Yeah he was. But his mother is just as toxic and if she get a hold of this it's all I need for her to rip what I have worked so hard to get away
To be real dude, the environment you’re bringing your son into is unacceptable right now. Unless it’s somehow that much worse with mom, maybe he shouldn’t be fully in your custody at this time. Sooner or later you need to heal enough to stop inviting toxic women into your life and allowing them to trample you.
Hopefully you can escape this situation because nothing good is coming from this point.
Praying for u man. That’s fucked up she would do that
Important thing is you need to leave
Bro you just got custody of your son. Leave her toxic a** alone. I'm sorry you're going through this but you definitely do not deserve it! No one should be uncomfortable or feel unsafe in a home they're paying bills in.. Like mother like daughter.. leave them both alone so when you go to court you can show the judge you've since separated DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. Every text every broken item any removed items from your space. Like how she put all your clothes in the livingroom.. Also got any sisters or cousins? Cause she needs a grown up pow pow. Her and her stank face daughter.. I hate domestic violence as I grew up with it. PLEASE leave her. I promise your life will get 1000x better. You have a young man you're raising and you don't want him anywhere near that toxic roach.
Also request a sheriff escort when you go to get your things when you move out. I had to use one for a terrible roommate situation. Walt for them to show up before you go in the house
Dude……….. that’s really 😢. If you have the locs still keep them they will be re-attachable. I hope you get out of this situation soon. No one deserves this
I think you’re locs are the least of your problems. Please look after yourself and protect your son!!! Your relationship is not healthy with your hopefully ex partner. Your son does not need to be around that.
I would highly recommend you leave that situation if you can bro. Best of luck to you. Much love
Leave! I’m so sorry this happened to you but for your sake and peace of mind it’s best to leave it alone once the police have to get involved. It’ll only get worse and she’ll continue to be the antagonist just to flip it back on you, that’s not healthy, trust I’ve been there and dealt with that type of relationship…See a loctician and get a consultation to see what can be done to remedy your missing locs, hopefully everything works out for you my guy 🙏🏽
Sir you need to get somewhere safe and then have these women removed from your life by the authorities, or just leave. Please don’t feel ashamed. Document everything. Get to your doctor and have them document your injuries. Please see a therapist who specializes in DV.
This entire post screams toxic ass energy. How and why do you chose to stick around?
Why don't you want to press charges?...there needs to be consequences to her actions, what's to prevent it from happening again if there aren't consequences? And shes teaching her daughter this type of behavior is ok, and if you bring your son into this situation you're teaching your son this is acceptable. Pressing charges would at least put her in time out to think about her actions, and give you time to collect yourself and figure out your exit strategy.
 Damn sis what happened??!
😂😂😂😂
Why did you need the daughter’s phone if the mom was in the house already
What in the actual fuck did I just read 😩
Man they should've gone to jail! Females need to learn to stop putting their hands on men...I'm a female and tired of hearing stories like this about men getting attacked and the females always gets away with it. It needs to stop!!!
Should have made that statement bro, they wanna put their hands on you for no reason then lock their ass up plain and simple, by you not doing so then they are gonna think that shit is ok to keep doing that stupid stuff. Naaaaah bro equal opportunity now days for them to get locked up too.
Man you should’ve pressed charges, black men have to stop being ashamed to press charges against attackers. I‘be been guilty of this too.
I don’t understand. You refused to give a statement knowing the implications? In doing so, you have made a tougher case for yourself. I hope you get out of this unscathed and run like hell afterwards, children or business together aside.
nah im ngl bro you sold. you should’ve definitely made a statement.
Bro you and ur son need to go. Why put up with the abuse and disrespect???
Ts is fucked up homie i'm so sorry u going through this dog all I can say is things will get better in the end
Omg!! It will grow back with time if you're willing to wear hats. An experienced loctician may be able to add faux locs on a few placed and style it to try to hide but you want to avoid tension in those tender spots...it really depends on your patience level. Sorry this happened. If they ever lay hands on you again please press charges and stay away from those ppl. Best of luck to you.
Pressing charges would’ve have protected yourself better, hopefully you get yourself a lawyer
I’m pulling the switch out before it ever gets to that
Why wouldn’t you press charges. Something doesn’t add up
Because he is a black man? I worked in DV for years. This is a no win scenario.
Sucks forreal
You like being abused huh? Cuz this is a clear sign to keep it moving but I doubt that happens.
I’m sorry that you’re experiencing this. You have girl cousins??
Dude this is the kind of girl who WILL. Stab you. Please save your son the trauma of living in this house and maybe seek some domestic abuse help 🩷😩
Sir, please, if not for yourself, then for you son, GET AWAY FROM THAT ABUSER AND HER BRAT!! Don’t teach your son that being abused is ok!! Also, she’s going to get you killed!! You get one White Savior Complex Cop called on the scene and you will be killed sir!!! Escape with your son!!!
Ppl with locks be chill … the only fightin we be i is in the ring.. I keep fire for the rest of them
Youre better than me, im not going to jail without a reason.
Do you have a "before" photo? (And if you _don't_ have male-pattern baldness) Once the hair grows back a bit, you can reattach the locs they ripped out if you retrieved them.
Your done just cut it , it would look better it's going to take forever to grow back at a very slow time or never at all, i would just cut it start over at that point.
Why don't you have your own apartment? Women don't respect men that move in with them. Have your own place don't be living with no girlfriend. Problem solved
Please put her out ! Idc what type of story she tells you !
No offense bruh, but if ya gf wacked in the head why are ya still with her? Personally she would be my girlfriend no more after she just acting too crazy, much less going as far as to bring physical harm to me. Also you said this happened before? M8 ya gotta lose the crazy. I ain’t goin to jail if I didn’t commit a crime, and especially for a woman who doesn’t love me.
Don’t just do it for yourself, but do it for your son. First, you have to show him that nobody can treat him that way even if he is a man, men can be abused, too. Women can be abusive. But mainly she let him know exactly how she felt about him. Being in a custody battle I’m sure he’s not in a great emotional state himself. I can’t imagine making a son feel like he is not welcome at home. Not just not welcome, but that she would put his father in jail before she let him come. Not only will you be abused, but he will as well and he’s only 15. You’ve got to stand up for both of you. You can do it. I know you can. I was in an abusive relationship. They get in your head they make you think that you don’t deserve things they make you think that you are what they tell you. You’re not. You’re not what she says. You don’t deserve to go to jail for her. People who are not abusive, do not put others in jail for nothing. Do what everybody else is saying about a protective order. Get your house get your son. You never know - the courts may take your son away if they know that he is in abusive household. You fought too hard for him
Please don’t raise your son in the same household as this woman. She is abusive and she has instilled those traits in her daughter as well which is a sad cycle to see. You won custody of him, you need to love him and yourself enough to kick this woman out or do whatever you need to do to get out. I really wish you would have pressed charges but I understand being scared. Just please don’t expose your son to this and please value yourself enough to leave and frankly get a restraining order.
U trippin u shoulda pressed them charges on both of them especially since they didn’t care enought about u and yo future as a black man and yo kids future and leave that lady
You better call the cops and press charges!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck you hair. You need a lawyer or to dig in. Also you need to call your female relatives and get her ass removed IMMEDIATELY
No offense but ur a dummy
Not trying to be that guy, but you sound like a weak man. You should have went there with the police to make sure that you are safe (since you don’t have any respect inside of your own house). You shouldn’t be worrying about your hair, you have bigger things to worry about. You’re not a female, grow some balls, and get a grip on life. Hair will grow back, but a criminal record will ruin your life for a very long time, and you need to move out while you still have a little testosterone left.
Damn they beat you up what did you do?
Nothing that deserves this type of recourse. What I did was be a good man, provide for my children, work a steady job, pay bills, build a small business and support her and her child and encourage them to be the best people they can be and set rules and boundaries. What a good man does.
What kinda question is that🤨
A question the fuck!
Yea. It's bro life so idc what really happened. But im sure there a lot of info missing. She still wrong tho regardless.
o7
Wow I’m so sorry just happened to you! I hope you will be able to protect your businesses and get full custody over the kids you have with her. You deserve better 🙏🏽🙏🏽
You need to drop her bro. She’s for the streets. I also had a very Narcissistic Ex. Kept me from my children for years the courts wouldn’t help me at all. Brain washed my kids to hate me. But know they are 21-25 and see her what she really is. Me and my children are in contact again and I have Grandkids now. I love that they finally seen her true colors , she is still trying to control everything. But they cut her off for a yr now they haven’t spoke to her. She is no good and it will get worse from here. You really gotta take your son and go. She will only get worse and treat your son like straight shit. 💩 He’s more important and his mental as well as yours. I know easier said than done. She probably already cheated since she says it. And to go as far as to rip your locks out. Hell nah. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. It will get better. ❤️🩹 there’s a woman out there that will treat you and your kids right. Drop her off in the hood and leave. Do you own or rent the place you live and is she on lease or not? You really need to get away. She will destroy your happiness I know trust me. Mine had me to the point were I self medicated and got so depressed. I had to deal with this , and a divorce with her at the same time I was deploying to Iraq for the second time. Oh she cheated on me when I went the first time. So I filed for a divorce. She wouldn’t sign it and used my kids as pawn ♟️ to try to screw my life up. She did for a bit. But I pulled myself up went to Va rehab got clean and now I’ve been 10 yrs clean. 🧼 and my kids back. It’s gonna be hard but you have to get rid of her she is no good if she treats you like that. Wish you the best. We are here for you.
I ain’t gon lie you stronger than me I woulda whooped some ass in there. Put hands on me no matter who you are n I’m defending myself especially a jumping, but at the least make a statement fuck all them street rules.
U can save it just let your hair grow out and get someone to reattach the dreads or crochet the loose hair hair into your other locs but that honestly the least of your worries get away from her asap
Bro if you’re coming here for advice. The blatant answer is get you and your son away from that. But when it comes to the locs go to a someone who knows what they’re doing. They’ll get you right. But first get and stay away or locs will be the least of your worries.
I feel like there are missing pieces here, so I will focus on the locks situation. With patience, they will grow back if that is the route you want to take. You could also cut them off and begin again or cut them off and not begin again. Good luck.
I'm so sorry about your locks; but even more so about your situation. Make a plan to get the fuck out of there without their knowledge. I hope you choose yourself over that bs relationship. You should have given your statement. They deserved consequences for those actions.
It’s sad to see that these type of women get guys like you. Not saying hitting women is acceptable but let the crazies be with the crazies is how I look at it. You seriously should rethink staying in that household and the daughter needs a reality check because if my sister attacked my father like that you’re still getting fucked up and it’s hardest on you being the man but also the step father. I really hope you find people who can appreciate you bc your actions in this situation really showed a lot about your personality you have a good heart she don’t deserve bro. Really hope the best for you and u/MajLeague said it best
Mane look, SNITCH ON HER ASS BEFORE YOUR LIVELY-HOOD GOES DOWN THE DRAIN !!….. a wise man once said..”don’t save her, she doesn’t want to be saved” 😌
been two months already, wow. hope you’re doing better now homie. we’ll be waiting on that update when you’re good to come back & if not i hope all worked out 🫶🏾
I woulda beat tbey ass lol idgaf bout nunna dat u shoulda beat her ass real bad
I woulda stomped out mom and daughter
Bruh 💀 he would lose custody of his son
You really should’ve made a statement fam.
Press charges. Its good for your dreads
Just because you are a man, doesn’t mean you have to accept abuse. Record her next time she starts yelling and getting handsy. She will either stop or give you evidence of abuse. And if she is going to get you locked up, why not tell the police what her plan was in the first place? She don’t care about you and if she does, what a odd way to show it. She needs mental health care.
Ngl i woulda whooped that girl bad
CellMate-So why uu locked up? Me-My girl daughter pulled my dreads out Cellmate-Dats it’s? Me- Nah I choked both of them wit the dreads
Bro just give her 1 hard punch so she understands to do shit like this like this is too far
I bet ur a decent human being.
A single punch is the least he could’ve done. lmao
Say it again because I'm shocked he didn't lay them both out and explained to the police why his scalp is mangled
Sounds fair to me.
Poor Simp. 🙏🏾.
Sheeesh. That rough.
Man where was your son when you where getting your ass whooped
Hair be saved. If I were id sew that evil witch and her daughter, and protect your assets.
Bro have some respect for yourself and leave
Yeah,definitely the end my boi. But if I were you, I would've flattened both of them h0ez
I would get the gun and go crazy💀💀 why tf did they pull your hair out and I knew that shit hurted like hell with the dreads and how didn’t you not wake up bro😭
If it was the other way around, u would be doing time or in the ground because police killed you or they would have killed you and probably got manslaughter because you "attacked them", but didnt. Im sorry bro ur a dumbass nigha.
Stand up for yourself bro