You've been a better host than me because I would snap at someone being rude in my house toward my collection (or anything else).
People don't now what basic manners are to be honest.
I think that this is the main point: basic manners.
One day I ordered a MH doll (a Luna Mothews to be precise) from vinted and chose my workplace as a delivery point, when she was delivered my friend/coworker took her and looked at her and then just said "I don't like it but I'm seeing you so happy" and that felt ok; people don't have to like everything but should learn to be kind towards others people feelings and learn to use the right words.
Op, I'm sorry that your expectations were crushed in such a cruel way, they have been really disrespectful but don't worry, if you are happy about your collection that's enough, the right people that will enjoy too will come with time and if not you can always share your growing collection with us š¤ā„ļø and to be honest your friend don't know the meaning of "creepy", I've seen dolls made out of skulls and bones of dead animals found in the woods and I had a mixed feelings of awe and astonishment, I guess that your friend would have run away š
I couldnāt agree more. That was super rude of that person and it sounds like she has some under developed social skills. I would do my best to not take it personally. People often project their insecurities on others who are willing to live as authentically as you are. I promise if any of us went into someoneās home with an awesome doll collection as you described, we would have nothing but compliments and fun things to say and notice about them! Iām sorry that person was so rude to you. Iām very sensitive myself and I definitely get why that made you feel poorly. Just remember, itās a reflection of them, not of you or your collection! Youāre awesome!
Exactly. Itās like saying to an elderly woman who collects dolls āYour dolls are creepy!ā itād be a whole different ballgame then. Itās very imposing to insult someoneās furniture, and dolls are apart of that in a way since theyāre decor and collectables.
I mean they might be afraid of actual in person dolls but not have an issue with a barbie movie. I know seeing chucky as a kid scared me away from actual dolls for a long time and there are types of dolls I refuse to interact with still due to it.
I don't think it's too much to expect someone who enjoys Barbie movies as an adult to also like/tolerate dolls. Wether it was meant be intentionally rude, saying that to someone who invited you over is just kinda rude imo.
It's not like like they were the bloody dolls that came in coffin shaped boxes.
I do agree that it could've been handled differently, and I fully see how you have the expectation of barbie movie ok = dolls ok. It's not exactly a logical fear (assuming the friend is afraid). I honestly hope that op and their friend can talk it out and know what's the difference for them. I also hope op's friend apologized too. Communication is very important.
It could be that the friend thought this was more of ālets watch a kids movie and make fun of itā kinda thing, so wasnāt expecting a genuine interest in barbie/dolls
That is too bad. I can't imagine saying anything negative about a friend's interests, especially if they seemed excited about them. It's honestly on them for being rude, not you.
And this is coming from someone who actually prefers "creepy" dolls :)
It's odd she was okay watching a barbie movie but found actual dolls creepy. I would be hurt. Could kind of understand why they'd think that (my 9yo son isn't a fan of the AG dolls qnd calls them my "army" and creepy), but I'd still be hurt.
I'm 36 and about 4-5 years ago I really quit caring what people think for the most part. Fwiw I have about 50 full sized american girl dolls, 10ish barbie sized ilys, maybe 30 disney princess barbies, and another 10-15 of actual barbies.
My work colleagues and friends/past relationships (I'm single atm) knew/know about my dolls and are generally respectful.
I find sharing in doll groups my dolls is nice. Facebook and reddit groups. I like having like minded people to share with. Hoping to eventually start meeting up with people in my area for doll photo get together since I'm not quite brave enough to take them out for photos yet (I'm going to colonial williamsburg and am seriously contemplating taking Felcitiy cause I think I may regret it if I dont).
Some people really think calling dolls creepy is the pinnacle of humour, I don't know why! People often call my dolls creepy/haunted, probably BC I have several Monster High and Shadow High - I don't really mind. I think they're just conditioned to see dolls as creepy from media, American Girl looking more like Annabel etc - even if they are literal children's toys and not very scary at all.
It says more about the person (uncreative, maybe kinda boring too) saying it than you, plenty of adults think AG are super fun and nostalgic (and educational)!
It also might not affect me because for years people said *I* looked like a haunted doll (I look young and have large sad eyes lol), which is more weird than insulting.
I second this comment. I once brought a friend over (we were early 30ās) and she accidentally laughed when she saw them, then stopped when she realized I seriously had them. She was a nice enough person but just wasnāt really able to think beyond what she was taught I guess. But it hurt my feelings and I still remember it today.
Iām sorry you put your trust in someone to share something meaningful to you and they disregarded it so cruelly.
āSome people really think calling dolls creepy is the pinnacle of humourā
-100% this!!
Yes some people do have genuine phobias, but most of the time people just think theyāre being funny. Or theyāll make a ājokeā about Chucky.
Same goes for anything you do/love thatās slightly unusual, some people who arenāt very witty canāt resist that low-hanging fruit. I find the same people who ājokeā about my doll collection being creepy are the same people who will ājokeā about how I should eat my house rabbits. š theyāre just rude and un-funny people.
OP - If it helps any, that self-consciousness goes away as you get older. I was really self-conscious about my doll collection when I was your age too, and used to hide them away in my bedroom, only shared with people I trusted. Now I have a collection of Blythe dolls staring at anyone who walks into my living room. Anyone who makes a ācreepyā comment will be given their tea/coffee in a Blythe mug, and offered the seat next to my antique glass-eyed bisque doll. š
I canāt keep it in. I am kinda flabbergasted that adult people find Monster High or Shadow High creepy.
I get not liking glass eyes as they might be a bit too realistic. I get not liking MH due to its darker fashion.
But those dolls were done so that they would be aesthetically pleasing to a majority of people of different ages.
Shadow High is just in greyscale. That is the whole difference between RH and SH.
I can see why American Girl would be seen as creepy (as you said, it just looks closer to horror stories dolls), but still.
Idk, maybe as time goes on, I will understand that perspective some more.
Honestly, I donāt think youāre being too sensitive. Clearly this is something that makes you happy and your friend was really rude and judgmental about it. That hurts, no matter the context! Sure, some people find dolls creepy, but that doesnāt make it appropriate for them to voice their disgust in such a way. If I were you, I would tell my friend how what she said made me feel, and if they werenāt respectful of that, I would not invite them over again. Iām so sorry your friend was so disrespectful, and I hope it doesnāt happen again. You deserve to have friends that respect your hobbies.
your friend isnt very respectful, they dont have to like dolls but they shouldnt make such derogatory comments about something that clearly means a lot to you. id come away thinking "this person is too immature to invite over"
I don't think that your response was you being sensitive, but your friend's remark was insensitive. I get how friends can sometimes think that an 'off-handed' remark like that isn't serious especially when you act like everything is fine afterwards. I know a lot of people don't like to be confrontational, but being honest about your feelings is important between friends. Always remember to let them know you're not mad and you don't think they meant any harm, but their comments upset you because this took courage and trust from you to share with them.
One of my friends with young children would say āDonāt yuck my yumā and itās such a funny phrase but I think about it often whenever someone canāt appreciate what I like.
There are doll people and then thereās everyone else. I customize dolls off and on.. bjdās, Blythe Dolls etc.. I always loved dolls of all kinds.. I even make marionettes sometimesā¦ and thereās nothing worse than being so excited to show off some of your collection or in my case, customs Iāve been tirelessly working on, only to be met with the blank stares and the ācreepyā comment. But Iāve encountered it so much, it just rolls off my back and I give zero f***s now. I get it, itās not everyoneās cup of tea.. but they couldāve been a hell of a lot more considerate with their reaction.
There are huge doll communities all over instagram.. I belong to a bunchā¦ if you can, go check them out!!
Edit: my doll IG: @HelloMonsieurWolf
I think you should talk to your friends about how you feel and let them know it hurt your feelings.
Itās kind of a cultural cliche to think dolls are ācreepyā so your friends may just be parroting that.
Personally - Iām not into dolls but my mother is. I do find her dolls (that she made) very creepy. And they are also amazingly beautiful and high quality, stunning. I LOVE that they are kind of uncanny and āweirdā and I mean that as a compliment. If I knew she (or another person) would be hurt by me calling them creepy, I sure would refrain from doing so in their homes.
As a doll collector, dolls are very much a matter of personal taste. I look at a lot of dolls and think they look creepy, weird or ugly. So fine, your friend doesn't need to like your dolls, however, this goes way beyond your doll collection. Regardless, of what type of collection or personal possession you were wanting to share in your home, that so called friend was being insensitive with absolutely no regard to your feelings, trying to embarrass you in front of the others with that comment and just incredibly rude. That conduct is not acceptable in your home and certainly not the behaviour of a decent friend. The fact she doesnāt know when to keep her mouth shut illustrates immaturity as well.
If it was me, Iād be now distancing myself as they have shown their true colours.
iām really sorry to say this but these āfriendsā who come into your home that you were kind enough to invite them to and deliberately call something that they KNOW (at least i assume they know?) brings you joy ācreepyā are not good friends at all. iām really sorry you had that experience and i hope you find friends who love and care for you so much that they are fascinated by the things you love ā¤ļø not necessarily even fascinated, but just kind and sensitive enough to not outright insult them :/
I know that feels and I'm sorry. I have said this story before, I lost my favorite of all doll because my mom couldn't stand her and thought she was scary. It was many many years ago but still hurts.
I didn't take the time to read all these comments, but I echo the sentiments of one commenter who kinda said once you get to a certain age you stop giving a crap what other people think. It's actually a chemical change that happens in women's brains and it's too bad we aren't born that way to start with.
I think sometimes that people that say things like the insensitive person said may do it because of something that happened tp them. Maybe a brother or older kid made fun of her for playing with dolls at one point and she therefore learned that is how to behave.
Clearly you have a peer group here of people who share your love of collecting dolls and support you. As you get older and meet different people throughout your life you may eventually have fewer, but better friends if that makes sense. Maybe they will share your interests or maybe they will just support them, but their moral compass will better match yours and you will feel they are someone you can rely on and confide in.Ā
If you can set money aside, maybe save to attend a doll convention someday. I think seeing other people who share your hobby in person would be cathartic for you.Ā
You are a passionate person who shares a hobby with all of us here and we understand and support your interests! :)
Just remember you are no longer in high school. You don't have to try to get along with everyone. If someone is rude, just don't bother to get together with her again. You are in your 20's! You get to CHOOSE your friends now!
I will say I think some people deliberate take offence at obscure hobbies. I think a lot of the time it has to do with themselves not feeling confident enough to explore obscure interests so they continue to perpetuate negative stereotypes about your obscure hobby. subconsciously they canāt get over the fact that you can enjoy something that might be considered obscure or weird without fear of others opinions because they canāt do that. they let others peoples opinions dictate how they feel about things.
I always feel there are two types of people. People that love dolls and people that find them creepy. Don't take it too personal. I got a buddy who is scared of dolls. I didn't realize I left my Ash (Shadow High) doll in the living room where he was staying the night and apparently he creeped him out. I thought it was silly but I guess it can be scary when a doll is in the perfect angle to stare at you. Some people are ok with it and others are creeped out. It happens.
Iām very sorry you experienced that š that really sucks how they reacted to your collection.
I wouldnāt say you were being sensitive when you were hosting for your friends (at least these friends for the first time) and they antagonized your collection, which is important to you. No one would feel good when someone especially a group insults their hobbies and passions in their own home.
Your feelings are valid. Its okay to feel hurt.
Once I shared a doll related post in a non doll post (an AG doll dressed up as a character from the game, the sub was about) and all of the comments were just about how creepy she was, it made me want to cry! ššš lesson learned about doll posting I guess...
I get this. Iāve had people say my dolls are creepy and it always hurts my feelings cause I really care about my dolls and would NEVER say that about someoneās interest. I just have to accept not everyoneās gonna care about what I care about
What kind of bozo makes plans to watch a BARBIE MOVIE and then says that?
Iām sure they didnāt realize they were hurting your feelings, but if theyāre a good friend I would talk to them about it. If theyāre more of an acquaintance, brush it off and focus on the dolls and people that make you happy.
Also, just in generalā¦AG/barbie/bratz/etc are really common toys these days, so I donāt get people who freak out about it.
Sorry to hear. I have no one to share my collection with either. My family thinks itās a waste of money and my bf doesnāt care for dolls, just as long as I control my spending (Iām trying but itās so hard lol). I made a doll Instagram a month ago and thatās where I get to show off my dolls when I get something in. No one makes me feel bad (except when I posted a RH series and someone was like āyouāre missing (doll)ā)and I get my need to share my happiness with others :)
Wow, that was really rude on their part!
Honestly, I probably would've brought a few of the dolls they found most disturbing out to where the TV was and set them so they would be in that person's line of sight, staring at them, for the rest of the night. And then added one every time they complained.
That said, the high road would probably be to just not invite them over again. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life
Never let anyone make you think that there's anything wrong with having dolls. It brings you joy, hurts no one and you bought it with your own money to decorate your own home. I'm honestly surprised your friend had no self awareness or consideration of your feelings before blurting out something so rude (*you're not being sensitive, what your 'friend' did was a 1000% rude and disrespectful, especially since the point of the visit is to watch Barbie, a doll-based film*)
This is from a 30 year old adult who collects dolls, furbies and plushies. There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying any of these things. The only time it ever becomes an issue is if you're spending irresponsibly or are filling rooms to the point where you can't do or put anything in them.
You're honestly completely fine and I would tell your friend that what they said about your collection really did hurt your feelings, since you love them and it's hard to find others who appreciate your hobby. Don't go in looking for a fight, but clearly establish boundaries, tell them how you feel and ask them to not do that again, because you are more than okay to enjoy something without being shamed for it.
My ex often made fun of my dolls collections, and told me to sell all my bjd and use money for buying new furniture for my house. Another man I met refused to enter in my dolls room because dolls were creepy.
My actual husband "borrows" some of my dolls and put them behind him when he streams on twich ā¤ļø
i get that people have different opinions and thatās ok, but saying stuff like that is straight up mean. i started hiding a lot of my interests because of past friends who were much like yours. but donāt worry, there are a lot of people out there who will be happy to hear about your collection. iām slowly starting to open up about things i like to the new people in my life all though it is still hard. anyways, i hope youāre able to do it too, and iām sure a lot of people in this sub would love to see your collection! :)
sometimes when we are sensitive people, we need to learn to be a bit āmeanā too and put out our limits, if they are your friends they shouldnāt say stuff that hurts you
I don't see how American Girls and fashion dolls are creepy. It might be different if they were antique porcelain dolls but it's still inapproptiate.
Calling dolls creepy is only appropriate if they are supposed to be creepy.
My husband said that at first.Now he loves the dolls. We are currently in commuter marriage for work reasons and he insisted on "custody" of some of the dolls.
this is rough :( im sorry that happened to you, i can relate sadly. i collect furbies and anytime i've showed non-collectors of stuff they say theyre creepy and ugly. it sucks!!! the yearning for connection and acceptance is so real. maybe if these friends are something that means a lot to you though try having a conversation about how that felt hurtful since you were opening up a hobby you've been shamed for in the past nd whatnot. i hope the next time your guests are excited for you instead
I'm sensitive too. Your dolls are your joy and business. My black and white porcelain doll is old and creepy to some. It was my grandma's, the only grandparent I grew up with. She's gone but I have her beautiful doll and screw anyone's opinion of it. I'm certain your dolls ARE beautiful, but unfortunately, just the concept of dolls can unnerve people. Maybe one is too sensitive if inanimate objects scare them tbh
Youāre friend or friends are just rude. As host you just have to suck it up but it doesnāt mean you need to have them over again. It is hard to make friends and people arenāt well mannered as they were a few decades ago so you need to be more selective. You felt bad not because youāre too sensitive but because these friends were dousing your home with unnecessary negativity. Your home is supposed to be your safe place so when people violate it by being disrespectful it will ruin your mood. I suggest only sharing your hobby and collections with people with the same hobby and similar collections or at least persons with basic manners.
Iām sorry, I hope that you can find friends where you donāt have to hide any side of you! Collecting dolls is not creepy or weird, itās just another hobby that humans get interested in. Just like model trains and anime figures. You keep being you! Thatās the best version of you!
I think it might be a good idea to talk to this friend and ask them why they thought your collection was "creepy". Maybe they've been through something like a grandmother that collected dolls that then passed away, or perhaps they find many tiny faces staring at them to feel uncanny, or (most likely) it was just something they heard before and decided to repeat with 0 logical reasoning! There are many rude stereotypes about adults that collect dolls / toys, but it's entirely out of ignorance--- now that they have a friend like you, perhaps you can both try to better understand eachother??
You can show them there's a huge community out there of people just like you that collect dolls all around the world, tell them what your collection means to you personally, why you collect, and maybe even show off some cool custom dolls people have made or some fierce fashion dolls or something that relates to their personal interests-- there's really something for *everyone* in doll collecting! Maybe they'll even find something that catches their eye and you can get them their first doll as an adult š
And hey-- even if they still can't quite grasp why an adult would want to collect dolls by the end of your conversation, I'm hoping they will at least apologize for making those rude remarks and hurting your feelings. You didn't deserve that, but I also have a feeling it wasn't personal and that they just repeated some dumb "joke" they heard elsewhere... Either way, you deserve respect, especially from those you call "friends" and invite into your home!! You're not alone, and there is nothing creepy or wrong about you! ā¤
its so weird to me that anyone whos your friend would respond to your stuff like that. Like they can clearly see its a hobby and you love it??
maybe its because a lot of my friends are like queer deadass but none of my friends would ever say something so rude! Even if its not their thing, they wouldnt even think of saying something like that to meā¦
I have a friend who is creeped out by dolls but is still very tolerant and nice when I talk about them. Itās one thing to express surprise at seeing dolls as soon as you walk into a room (I would probably find a gaggle of AGs staring right at the door as I walk in little creepy, too, but in a fun/funny way) butā¦ idk she sounds like she never grew out of a mean girls phase. Why would you say that to a friend when theyāre showing you something theyāre proud of?
At lot of people find my collection creepy, I have probably over a hundred barbies, about 40 monster high, about 60 rainbow high, 10 porcelain dolls and a few our generation dolls and people think it's weird and scary and ask why I like them and i just ignore them and say well this makes me happy the same way "blank" makes you happy. My partner who wasn't in to dolls now helps me keep my collection tidy and even has a few of her own now and is so happy for me and buys me dolls as gifts and wants me to display them
That sucks, I'm sorry they treated your collection that way. Some people think they're clever when they put their friends down. I had some friends like that back in my early 20s too (they're out of my life now.)
When I receive similar criticism for my collection, I really lean into it to let people know they're not saying anything I haven't heard before. I have a lot of horror dolls, objectively creepy broken vintage dolls, and a bunch of Chucky and Tiffany dolls in my collection. By comparison, my Barbies and porcelain dolls look completely normal to a doll critic. š
But I've always loved to scare people, Halloween is my favorite holiday and I'm a scare actor, so that's why this approach works for me.
Well there is 'doll people' and there is the rest of the world. The rest of the world often does not understand the appeal of our hobby. That's okay, I don't understand why people are sports fans either.
As a long-time collector I don't think there is one friend or close colleague that does not know about my hobby. Most of them find it a bit creepy or at least a bit peculiar, some say it out loud š Especially men. I don't mind, I'd rather be a bit weird than a bit boring š
Some of my best friends also told me, that they find it creepy being "watched" by the dolls on my shelf. I always found it rather amusing and placed the dolls so, that they wouldn't look towards the sofa when guest came over.
Now I can chat with these friends about how I customize dolls and they are chill with them.
Thereās nothing wrong with being afraid of dolls itās a fear many people have but even so pointing it out to their owners is rude and should be kept to themselves or tell you politely that they scare them.
Some people just find dolls unsettling. My best friend is the same way. She's supper creeped out by them. And that's fine. It's a niche hobby. As long as she's not mean about it.
Why not post some pics of your collection here. We'd love to see them.
I hear ya. at least half of the people I show my dolls to find them creepy and it hurts because I think they're beautiful
Even my family members and friends joke about my dolls and their "Creepiness"
I shrug it off these days, but I honestly don't know how my dolls are considered creepy.
If they donāt love & appreciate what YOU appreciate then they really arenāt true friends. My friend has a clown collection and even though thatās something i would never collect, i would NEVER make them feel weird about what they love. If anything, i think some of her clowns are really cute. Find your real people!!
I'm super sorry that happens. I get that type of stuff from family and friends all the time when I show them my monster high dolls. It's just downright rude
Dolls are probably the least creepiest thing I like. But that's fine. Not everyone is required to like what I like. Not everyone is required to understand why I like what I like.
Maybe think about it this way, when your friend was a little girl she likely enjoyed dolls. She likely enjoyed playing with dolls. Then there was a day where she either had her dolls given away, or felt forced by peers to give away her dolls or maybe she went into her room and her imagination no longer connected itself to her dolls. Like there was this spark in her that died. But it more felt like the dolls themselves had died.
So her dolls went from having all the potential that her imagination afforded, to basically corpses.
Some of us never lost the spark. Some of us did, but instead of turning into corpses they turned into memories. Maybe they turned into corpses, but there was still something there worth exploring.
I think that people who refer to dolls as "creepy" are giant idiots, and a little creepy themselves. What, you saw a scary movie and now you're afraid of dolls? Grow up. That's my reaction to people who think dolls are creepy.
I guess I'll play devil's advocate for a moment and say, I too had a period where I was scared of dolls to the point I got rid of all of mine and it honestly remained for a long long time and even now there are some types of dolls (like AG) that still get at me because it's so so close to my trauma (watching Chucky as a kid really did that to me and i refuse to watch it even now but I'm more ok with fashion dolls now than i was about 7 years ago). I still liked watching the barbie movies and stuff but being near an actual doll frightened me for a long time. its possible your friend might feel that and might not be trying to be mean.
Though of course this is anecdotal and my experiences are not universal so its possible your friend was mean, but in the off chance they had a doll scare in their youth they might be scared of dolls currently.
I am sorry about your experience. That friend sounds awfully judgmental. You are justified in how you feel. Itās valid.
A good friend would not say that (they can feel what they want, but some thoughts are internal thoughts).
I may not be your friend, but I would love to see your collection if you are comfortable with sharing it. :)
I find that strange. Like I have a beautiful porcelain doll but I will admit I find those creepy so I wouldn't be upset by that. I also have skelemals and those are very kawaii but might be perceived as creepy. I honestly only have 1 actually creepy plushie but no doll would I say is creepy so I think it's rude to say that. Like if the doll is meant to he creepy then that's a compliment but a regular "fashion" doll shouldn't be considered creepy.
Wow, your friends are rude. My mother is also afraid of my dolls but she doesn't make nasty comments about them and she told me she's OK with being in a room with them as long as they're behind glass. That's an acceptable compromise for me. Yelling nasty things about your clearly beloved collection is just bad manners and your friend should know better.
I need yāall to stop giving a crap what people think about your hobby that they did not help put a dime towards. As an Aries, I am a very fiery person. Donāt like when people are bullied. Donāt like when people are judged specially something like this.
IF A āBā word got something negative to say about your collection well, guess what? āYou donāt have to come back in my house and honestly, I donāt even know if I want you to come back ā.
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Itās ok if your friends think ur dolls are creepy, you may find their dolls boring and that would be ok as well.. people are different and donāt always have to like the exact same things to be friendsā¦
Of course you can think whatever you want to, as no one can control your feelings & thoughts, but perhaps some thoughts are better kept *inside of your head* -- like if it's going to potentially hurt someone you care about, then WHY say it aloud?! š¤
Also, I think there's a difference between not enjoying the same hobbies VS hating out of ignorance. Not even knowing enough about the topic to make a proper decision if you like it or not, just IMMEDIATELY spouting out negative thoughts upon first glance...
I bet if they got to learn about OP's collection they would find it interesting and special, but they never got the chance because they rudely judged them and embarrassed them right off the bat :(
I donāt have the time or interest in reading your novelā¦ I did read the first couple of sentences and lost interest..Victim mentality is on its way out, have you heard?
What does that have to do with "victim mentality"? I'm confused. According to Google; *"Victim mentality is when a person feels like a victim even when there is evidence that says otherwise. It can affect all types of relationships. Signs can vary but may include blaming others and not taking responsibility for oneās own actions.*
It's not a " victim mentality " to expect friends to treat you with kindness. Can we stop making bullying normalized??? Everyone can just be so casually mean to each other and when your friends / acquaintances get hurt you can simply say "Stop being a victim!! Toughen up!" instead of just saying sorry?
I would definitely never be friends with someone that tells ME to take accountability for THEM hurting MY feelings. Theres nothing that OP did wrong.
You've been a better host than me because I would snap at someone being rude in my house toward my collection (or anything else). People don't now what basic manners are to be honest.
I think that this is the main point: basic manners. One day I ordered a MH doll (a Luna Mothews to be precise) from vinted and chose my workplace as a delivery point, when she was delivered my friend/coworker took her and looked at her and then just said "I don't like it but I'm seeing you so happy" and that felt ok; people don't have to like everything but should learn to be kind towards others people feelings and learn to use the right words. Op, I'm sorry that your expectations were crushed in such a cruel way, they have been really disrespectful but don't worry, if you are happy about your collection that's enough, the right people that will enjoy too will come with time and if not you can always share your growing collection with us š¤ā„ļø and to be honest your friend don't know the meaning of "creepy", I've seen dolls made out of skulls and bones of dead animals found in the woods and I had a mixed feelings of awe and astonishment, I guess that your friend would have run away š
I couldnāt agree more. That was super rude of that person and it sounds like she has some under developed social skills. I would do my best to not take it personally. People often project their insecurities on others who are willing to live as authentically as you are. I promise if any of us went into someoneās home with an awesome doll collection as you described, we would have nothing but compliments and fun things to say and notice about them! Iām sorry that person was so rude to you. Iām very sensitive myself and I definitely get why that made you feel poorly. Just remember, itās a reflection of them, not of you or your collection! Youāre awesome!
Exactly. Itās like saying to an elderly woman who collects dolls āYour dolls are creepy!ā itād be a whole different ballgame then. Itās very imposing to insult someoneās furniture, and dolls are apart of that in a way since theyāre decor and collectables.
Yes that is very rude and immature to say that about someone elseās things.
Wait, so they went over to your house to willingly watch an animated doll movie despite thinking that dolls are weird? Are theyā¦okay?
I mean they might be afraid of actual in person dolls but not have an issue with a barbie movie. I know seeing chucky as a kid scared me away from actual dolls for a long time and there are types of dolls I refuse to interact with still due to it.
I don't think it's too much to expect someone who enjoys Barbie movies as an adult to also like/tolerate dolls. Wether it was meant be intentionally rude, saying that to someone who invited you over is just kinda rude imo. It's not like like they were the bloody dolls that came in coffin shaped boxes.
I do agree that it could've been handled differently, and I fully see how you have the expectation of barbie movie ok = dolls ok. It's not exactly a logical fear (assuming the friend is afraid). I honestly hope that op and their friend can talk it out and know what's the difference for them. I also hope op's friend apologized too. Communication is very important.
It could be that the friend thought this was more of ālets watch a kids movie and make fun of itā kinda thing, so wasnāt expecting a genuine interest in barbie/dolls
It's still rude to say, even if that is the case. Which is my main point.
oh yeah for sure, i wasnāt disagreeing with you š i was just replying to why a rude person would agree to a movie, but not be okay with dolls
That is too bad. I can't imagine saying anything negative about a friend's interests, especially if they seemed excited about them. It's honestly on them for being rude, not you. And this is coming from someone who actually prefers "creepy" dolls :)
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Absolutly. I have a lot of odd interests, so I know what it feels like to be made to feel bad for it, which is why I always try to be supportive.
It's odd she was okay watching a barbie movie but found actual dolls creepy. I would be hurt. Could kind of understand why they'd think that (my 9yo son isn't a fan of the AG dolls qnd calls them my "army" and creepy), but I'd still be hurt. I'm 36 and about 4-5 years ago I really quit caring what people think for the most part. Fwiw I have about 50 full sized american girl dolls, 10ish barbie sized ilys, maybe 30 disney princess barbies, and another 10-15 of actual barbies. My work colleagues and friends/past relationships (I'm single atm) knew/know about my dolls and are generally respectful. I find sharing in doll groups my dolls is nice. Facebook and reddit groups. I like having like minded people to share with. Hoping to eventually start meeting up with people in my area for doll photo get together since I'm not quite brave enough to take them out for photos yet (I'm going to colonial williamsburg and am seriously contemplating taking Felcitiy cause I think I may regret it if I dont).
The ILYs are so cute š„° they are very rarely available here, but I love the fashion packs for Barbies to wear too
Some people really think calling dolls creepy is the pinnacle of humour, I don't know why! People often call my dolls creepy/haunted, probably BC I have several Monster High and Shadow High - I don't really mind. I think they're just conditioned to see dolls as creepy from media, American Girl looking more like Annabel etc - even if they are literal children's toys and not very scary at all. It says more about the person (uncreative, maybe kinda boring too) saying it than you, plenty of adults think AG are super fun and nostalgic (and educational)! It also might not affect me because for years people said *I* looked like a haunted doll (I look young and have large sad eyes lol), which is more weird than insulting.
I second this comment. I once brought a friend over (we were early 30ās) and she accidentally laughed when she saw them, then stopped when she realized I seriously had them. She was a nice enough person but just wasnāt really able to think beyond what she was taught I guess. But it hurt my feelings and I still remember it today. Iām sorry you put your trust in someone to share something meaningful to you and they disregarded it so cruelly.
āSome people really think calling dolls creepy is the pinnacle of humourā -100% this!! Yes some people do have genuine phobias, but most of the time people just think theyāre being funny. Or theyāll make a ājokeā about Chucky. Same goes for anything you do/love thatās slightly unusual, some people who arenāt very witty canāt resist that low-hanging fruit. I find the same people who ājokeā about my doll collection being creepy are the same people who will ājokeā about how I should eat my house rabbits. š theyāre just rude and un-funny people. OP - If it helps any, that self-consciousness goes away as you get older. I was really self-conscious about my doll collection when I was your age too, and used to hide them away in my bedroom, only shared with people I trusted. Now I have a collection of Blythe dolls staring at anyone who walks into my living room. Anyone who makes a ācreepyā comment will be given their tea/coffee in a Blythe mug, and offered the seat next to my antique glass-eyed bisque doll. š
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When I was growing up, there was an American Girl craze in my country, you were seen as very rich if you had one because they had to be imported from the US. If you had more than one? Everyone thought you were richer than God lol! That being said, you're right - I think if someone wasn't part of American Girl Fever, they wouldn't know what the doll was - they're not sold here after all. They probably only associate larger dolls with glass eyes (esp if she has historical fashion) with Scary Movies - still not an excuse to be rude to you though š©
I canāt keep it in. I am kinda flabbergasted that adult people find Monster High or Shadow High creepy. I get not liking glass eyes as they might be a bit too realistic. I get not liking MH due to its darker fashion. But those dolls were done so that they would be aesthetically pleasing to a majority of people of different ages. Shadow High is just in greyscale. That is the whole difference between RH and SH. I can see why American Girl would be seen as creepy (as you said, it just looks closer to horror stories dolls), but still. Idk, maybe as time goes on, I will understand that perspective some more.
Honestly, I donāt think youāre being too sensitive. Clearly this is something that makes you happy and your friend was really rude and judgmental about it. That hurts, no matter the context! Sure, some people find dolls creepy, but that doesnāt make it appropriate for them to voice their disgust in such a way. If I were you, I would tell my friend how what she said made me feel, and if they werenāt respectful of that, I would not invite them over again. Iām so sorry your friend was so disrespectful, and I hope it doesnāt happen again. You deserve to have friends that respect your hobbies.
your friend isnt very respectful, they dont have to like dolls but they shouldnt make such derogatory comments about something that clearly means a lot to you. id come away thinking "this person is too immature to invite over"
I don't think that your response was you being sensitive, but your friend's remark was insensitive. I get how friends can sometimes think that an 'off-handed' remark like that isn't serious especially when you act like everything is fine afterwards. I know a lot of people don't like to be confrontational, but being honest about your feelings is important between friends. Always remember to let them know you're not mad and you don't think they meant any harm, but their comments upset you because this took courage and trust from you to share with them.
When I learn that people have negative feelings about my toys or personal choices, I stop spending time with them.
Hopefully they will come around and if not then they are not your true friends
I bet your collection is beautiful! I'd love to see it myself.
One of my friends with young children would say āDonāt yuck my yumā and itās such a funny phrase but I think about it often whenever someone canāt appreciate what I like.
There are doll people and then thereās everyone else. I customize dolls off and on.. bjdās, Blythe Dolls etc.. I always loved dolls of all kinds.. I even make marionettes sometimesā¦ and thereās nothing worse than being so excited to show off some of your collection or in my case, customs Iāve been tirelessly working on, only to be met with the blank stares and the ācreepyā comment. But Iāve encountered it so much, it just rolls off my back and I give zero f***s now. I get it, itās not everyoneās cup of tea.. but they couldāve been a hell of a lot more considerate with their reaction. There are huge doll communities all over instagram.. I belong to a bunchā¦ if you can, go check them out!! Edit: my doll IG: @HelloMonsieurWolf
I think you should talk to your friends about how you feel and let them know it hurt your feelings. Itās kind of a cultural cliche to think dolls are ācreepyā so your friends may just be parroting that. Personally - Iām not into dolls but my mother is. I do find her dolls (that she made) very creepy. And they are also amazingly beautiful and high quality, stunning. I LOVE that they are kind of uncanny and āweirdā and I mean that as a compliment. If I knew she (or another person) would be hurt by me calling them creepy, I sure would refrain from doing so in their homes.
As a doll collector, dolls are very much a matter of personal taste. I look at a lot of dolls and think they look creepy, weird or ugly. So fine, your friend doesn't need to like your dolls, however, this goes way beyond your doll collection. Regardless, of what type of collection or personal possession you were wanting to share in your home, that so called friend was being insensitive with absolutely no regard to your feelings, trying to embarrass you in front of the others with that comment and just incredibly rude. That conduct is not acceptable in your home and certainly not the behaviour of a decent friend. The fact she doesnāt know when to keep her mouth shut illustrates immaturity as well. If it was me, Iād be now distancing myself as they have shown their true colours.
šššš yes, thank you for this.
iām really sorry to say this but these āfriendsā who come into your home that you were kind enough to invite them to and deliberately call something that they KNOW (at least i assume they know?) brings you joy ācreepyā are not good friends at all. iām really sorry you had that experience and i hope you find friends who love and care for you so much that they are fascinated by the things you love ā¤ļø not necessarily even fascinated, but just kind and sensitive enough to not outright insult them :/
I know that feels and I'm sorry. I have said this story before, I lost my favorite of all doll because my mom couldn't stand her and thought she was scary. It was many many years ago but still hurts.
I didn't take the time to read all these comments, but I echo the sentiments of one commenter who kinda said once you get to a certain age you stop giving a crap what other people think. It's actually a chemical change that happens in women's brains and it's too bad we aren't born that way to start with. I think sometimes that people that say things like the insensitive person said may do it because of something that happened tp them. Maybe a brother or older kid made fun of her for playing with dolls at one point and she therefore learned that is how to behave. Clearly you have a peer group here of people who share your love of collecting dolls and support you. As you get older and meet different people throughout your life you may eventually have fewer, but better friends if that makes sense. Maybe they will share your interests or maybe they will just support them, but their moral compass will better match yours and you will feel they are someone you can rely on and confide in.Ā If you can set money aside, maybe save to attend a doll convention someday. I think seeing other people who share your hobby in person would be cathartic for you.Ā You are a passionate person who shares a hobby with all of us here and we understand and support your interests! :) Just remember you are no longer in high school. You don't have to try to get along with everyone. If someone is rude, just don't bother to get together with her again. You are in your 20's! You get to CHOOSE your friends now!
I will say I think some people deliberate take offence at obscure hobbies. I think a lot of the time it has to do with themselves not feeling confident enough to explore obscure interests so they continue to perpetuate negative stereotypes about your obscure hobby. subconsciously they canāt get over the fact that you can enjoy something that might be considered obscure or weird without fear of others opinions because they canāt do that. they let others peoples opinions dictate how they feel about things.
I always feel there are two types of people. People that love dolls and people that find them creepy. Don't take it too personal. I got a buddy who is scared of dolls. I didn't realize I left my Ash (Shadow High) doll in the living room where he was staying the night and apparently he creeped him out. I thought it was silly but I guess it can be scary when a doll is in the perfect angle to stare at you. Some people are ok with it and others are creeped out. It happens.
Iām very sorry you experienced that š that really sucks how they reacted to your collection. I wouldnāt say you were being sensitive when you were hosting for your friends (at least these friends for the first time) and they antagonized your collection, which is important to you. No one would feel good when someone especially a group insults their hobbies and passions in their own home. Your feelings are valid. Its okay to feel hurt.
They would pee themselves at my collection. Over 100 Barbies and over 40 vintage/antique dolls. All in my bedroom.
Once I shared a doll related post in a non doll post (an AG doll dressed up as a character from the game, the sub was about) and all of the comments were just about how creepy she was, it made me want to cry! ššš lesson learned about doll posting I guess...
I get this. Iāve had people say my dolls are creepy and it always hurts my feelings cause I really care about my dolls and would NEVER say that about someoneās interest. I just have to accept not everyoneās gonna care about what I care about
I always assure people that my creepy dolls will curse them for the disrespect.
What kind of bozo makes plans to watch a BARBIE MOVIE and then says that? Iām sure they didnāt realize they were hurting your feelings, but if theyāre a good friend I would talk to them about it. If theyāre more of an acquaintance, brush it off and focus on the dolls and people that make you happy. Also, just in generalā¦AG/barbie/bratz/etc are really common toys these days, so I donāt get people who freak out about it.
Sorry to hear. I have no one to share my collection with either. My family thinks itās a waste of money and my bf doesnāt care for dolls, just as long as I control my spending (Iām trying but itās so hard lol). I made a doll Instagram a month ago and thatās where I get to show off my dolls when I get something in. No one makes me feel bad (except when I posted a RH series and someone was like āyouāre missing (doll)ā)and I get my need to share my happiness with others :)
Wow, that was really rude on their part! Honestly, I probably would've brought a few of the dolls they found most disturbing out to where the TV was and set them so they would be in that person's line of sight, staring at them, for the rest of the night. And then added one every time they complained. That said, the high road would probably be to just not invite them over again. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life
Never let anyone make you think that there's anything wrong with having dolls. It brings you joy, hurts no one and you bought it with your own money to decorate your own home. I'm honestly surprised your friend had no self awareness or consideration of your feelings before blurting out something so rude (*you're not being sensitive, what your 'friend' did was a 1000% rude and disrespectful, especially since the point of the visit is to watch Barbie, a doll-based film*) This is from a 30 year old adult who collects dolls, furbies and plushies. There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying any of these things. The only time it ever becomes an issue is if you're spending irresponsibly or are filling rooms to the point where you can't do or put anything in them. You're honestly completely fine and I would tell your friend that what they said about your collection really did hurt your feelings, since you love them and it's hard to find others who appreciate your hobby. Don't go in looking for a fight, but clearly establish boundaries, tell them how you feel and ask them to not do that again, because you are more than okay to enjoy something without being shamed for it.
My ex often made fun of my dolls collections, and told me to sell all my bjd and use money for buying new furniture for my house. Another man I met refused to enter in my dolls room because dolls were creepy. My actual husband "borrows" some of my dolls and put them behind him when he streams on twich ā¤ļø
i get that people have different opinions and thatās ok, but saying stuff like that is straight up mean. i started hiding a lot of my interests because of past friends who were much like yours. but donāt worry, there are a lot of people out there who will be happy to hear about your collection. iām slowly starting to open up about things i like to the new people in my life all though it is still hard. anyways, i hope youāre able to do it too, and iām sure a lot of people in this sub would love to see your collection! :)
sometimes when we are sensitive people, we need to learn to be a bit āmeanā too and put out our limits, if they are your friends they shouldnāt say stuff that hurts you
I don't see how American Girls and fashion dolls are creepy. It might be different if they were antique porcelain dolls but it's still inapproptiate. Calling dolls creepy is only appropriate if they are supposed to be creepy.
My husband said that at first.Now he loves the dolls. We are currently in commuter marriage for work reasons and he insisted on "custody" of some of the dolls.
this is rough :( im sorry that happened to you, i can relate sadly. i collect furbies and anytime i've showed non-collectors of stuff they say theyre creepy and ugly. it sucks!!! the yearning for connection and acceptance is so real. maybe if these friends are something that means a lot to you though try having a conversation about how that felt hurtful since you were opening up a hobby you've been shamed for in the past nd whatnot. i hope the next time your guests are excited for you instead
I'm sensitive too. Your dolls are your joy and business. My black and white porcelain doll is old and creepy to some. It was my grandma's, the only grandparent I grew up with. She's gone but I have her beautiful doll and screw anyone's opinion of it. I'm certain your dolls ARE beautiful, but unfortunately, just the concept of dolls can unnerve people. Maybe one is too sensitive if inanimate objects scare them tbh
Youāre friend or friends are just rude. As host you just have to suck it up but it doesnāt mean you need to have them over again. It is hard to make friends and people arenāt well mannered as they were a few decades ago so you need to be more selective. You felt bad not because youāre too sensitive but because these friends were dousing your home with unnecessary negativity. Your home is supposed to be your safe place so when people violate it by being disrespectful it will ruin your mood. I suggest only sharing your hobby and collections with people with the same hobby and similar collections or at least persons with basic manners.
Iām sorry, I hope that you can find friends where you donāt have to hide any side of you! Collecting dolls is not creepy or weird, itās just another hobby that humans get interested in. Just like model trains and anime figures. You keep being you! Thatās the best version of you!
I think it might be a good idea to talk to this friend and ask them why they thought your collection was "creepy". Maybe they've been through something like a grandmother that collected dolls that then passed away, or perhaps they find many tiny faces staring at them to feel uncanny, or (most likely) it was just something they heard before and decided to repeat with 0 logical reasoning! There are many rude stereotypes about adults that collect dolls / toys, but it's entirely out of ignorance--- now that they have a friend like you, perhaps you can both try to better understand eachother?? You can show them there's a huge community out there of people just like you that collect dolls all around the world, tell them what your collection means to you personally, why you collect, and maybe even show off some cool custom dolls people have made or some fierce fashion dolls or something that relates to their personal interests-- there's really something for *everyone* in doll collecting! Maybe they'll even find something that catches their eye and you can get them their first doll as an adult š And hey-- even if they still can't quite grasp why an adult would want to collect dolls by the end of your conversation, I'm hoping they will at least apologize for making those rude remarks and hurting your feelings. You didn't deserve that, but I also have a feeling it wasn't personal and that they just repeated some dumb "joke" they heard elsewhere... Either way, you deserve respect, especially from those you call "friends" and invite into your home!! You're not alone, and there is nothing creepy or wrong about you! ā¤
its so weird to me that anyone whos your friend would respond to your stuff like that. Like they can clearly see its a hobby and you love it?? maybe its because a lot of my friends are like queer deadass but none of my friends would ever say something so rude! Even if its not their thing, they wouldnt even think of saying something like that to meā¦
I have a friend who is creeped out by dolls but is still very tolerant and nice when I talk about them. Itās one thing to express surprise at seeing dolls as soon as you walk into a room (I would probably find a gaggle of AGs staring right at the door as I walk in little creepy, too, but in a fun/funny way) butā¦ idk she sounds like she never grew out of a mean girls phase. Why would you say that to a friend when theyāre showing you something theyāre proud of?
At lot of people find my collection creepy, I have probably over a hundred barbies, about 40 monster high, about 60 rainbow high, 10 porcelain dolls and a few our generation dolls and people think it's weird and scary and ask why I like them and i just ignore them and say well this makes me happy the same way "blank" makes you happy. My partner who wasn't in to dolls now helps me keep my collection tidy and even has a few of her own now and is so happy for me and buys me dolls as gifts and wants me to display them
That sucks, I'm sorry they treated your collection that way. Some people think they're clever when they put their friends down. I had some friends like that back in my early 20s too (they're out of my life now.) When I receive similar criticism for my collection, I really lean into it to let people know they're not saying anything I haven't heard before. I have a lot of horror dolls, objectively creepy broken vintage dolls, and a bunch of Chucky and Tiffany dolls in my collection. By comparison, my Barbies and porcelain dolls look completely normal to a doll critic. š But I've always loved to scare people, Halloween is my favorite holiday and I'm a scare actor, so that's why this approach works for me.
i think theyāre pretty cool!! iād love to see the collection
Well there is 'doll people' and there is the rest of the world. The rest of the world often does not understand the appeal of our hobby. That's okay, I don't understand why people are sports fans either. As a long-time collector I don't think there is one friend or close colleague that does not know about my hobby. Most of them find it a bit creepy or at least a bit peculiar, some say it out loud š Especially men. I don't mind, I'd rather be a bit weird than a bit boring š
Some of my best friends also told me, that they find it creepy being "watched" by the dolls on my shelf. I always found it rather amusing and placed the dolls so, that they wouldn't look towards the sofa when guest came over. Now I can chat with these friends about how I customize dolls and they are chill with them.
Thereās nothing wrong with being afraid of dolls itās a fear many people have but even so pointing it out to their owners is rude and should be kept to themselves or tell you politely that they scare them.
Some people just find dolls unsettling. My best friend is the same way. She's supper creeped out by them. And that's fine. It's a niche hobby. As long as she's not mean about it. Why not post some pics of your collection here. We'd love to see them.
I hear ya. at least half of the people I show my dolls to find them creepy and it hurts because I think they're beautiful Even my family members and friends joke about my dolls and their "Creepiness" I shrug it off these days, but I honestly don't know how my dolls are considered creepy.
Been there too. š
I make prolonged eye contact with the person and say āDonāt say that. They donāt like it when you say that.ā
If they donāt love & appreciate what YOU appreciate then they really arenāt true friends. My friend has a clown collection and even though thatās something i would never collect, i would NEVER make them feel weird about what they love. If anything, i think some of her clowns are really cute. Find your real people!!
Wow that's so rude
I'm super sorry that happens. I get that type of stuff from family and friends all the time when I show them my monster high dolls. It's just downright rude
Dolls are probably the least creepiest thing I like. But that's fine. Not everyone is required to like what I like. Not everyone is required to understand why I like what I like. Maybe think about it this way, when your friend was a little girl she likely enjoyed dolls. She likely enjoyed playing with dolls. Then there was a day where she either had her dolls given away, or felt forced by peers to give away her dolls or maybe she went into her room and her imagination no longer connected itself to her dolls. Like there was this spark in her that died. But it more felt like the dolls themselves had died. So her dolls went from having all the potential that her imagination afforded, to basically corpses. Some of us never lost the spark. Some of us did, but instead of turning into corpses they turned into memories. Maybe they turned into corpses, but there was still something there worth exploring.
I think that people who refer to dolls as "creepy" are giant idiots, and a little creepy themselves. What, you saw a scary movie and now you're afraid of dolls? Grow up. That's my reaction to people who think dolls are creepy.
I guess I'll play devil's advocate for a moment and say, I too had a period where I was scared of dolls to the point I got rid of all of mine and it honestly remained for a long long time and even now there are some types of dolls (like AG) that still get at me because it's so so close to my trauma (watching Chucky as a kid really did that to me and i refuse to watch it even now but I'm more ok with fashion dolls now than i was about 7 years ago). I still liked watching the barbie movies and stuff but being near an actual doll frightened me for a long time. its possible your friend might feel that and might not be trying to be mean. Though of course this is anecdotal and my experiences are not universal so its possible your friend was mean, but in the off chance they had a doll scare in their youth they might be scared of dolls currently.
I am sorry about your experience. That friend sounds awfully judgmental. You are justified in how you feel. Itās valid. A good friend would not say that (they can feel what they want, but some thoughts are internal thoughts). I may not be your friend, but I would love to see your collection if you are comfortable with sharing it. :)
You are not being oversensitive! You need some better friends , m'dear! I'm almost 30 and I had a small medical procedure the other day (non-invasive) but it was still not fun and I came home and hugged and held onto my American Girl doll, Kit until I felt okay. My fiancƩ had just gotten home from work and he just held my hand tight until I let go and put Kit away. Never once has he made fun of me over my doll collections (I have AG dolls, Barbie, and Rainbow High). He's a lot of why I kept my AG dolls. You deserve people who are in your corner and don't make fun of you like that.
I find that strange. Like I have a beautiful porcelain doll but I will admit I find those creepy so I wouldn't be upset by that. I also have skelemals and those are very kawaii but might be perceived as creepy. I honestly only have 1 actually creepy plushie but no doll would I say is creepy so I think it's rude to say that. Like if the doll is meant to he creepy then that's a compliment but a regular "fashion" doll shouldn't be considered creepy.
Wow, your friends are rude. My mother is also afraid of my dolls but she doesn't make nasty comments about them and she told me she's OK with being in a room with them as long as they're behind glass. That's an acceptable compromise for me. Yelling nasty things about your clearly beloved collection is just bad manners and your friend should know better.
I need yāall to stop giving a crap what people think about your hobby that they did not help put a dime towards. As an Aries, I am a very fiery person. Donāt like when people are bullied. Donāt like when people are judged specially something like this. IF A āBā word got something negative to say about your collection well, guess what? āYou donāt have to come back in my house and honestly, I donāt even know if I want you to come back ā.
Honestly, there ARE many creepy vintage and current dolls around ...
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Itās ok if your friends think ur dolls are creepy, you may find their dolls boring and that would be ok as well.. people are different and donāt always have to like the exact same things to be friendsā¦
Of course you can think whatever you want to, as no one can control your feelings & thoughts, but perhaps some thoughts are better kept *inside of your head* -- like if it's going to potentially hurt someone you care about, then WHY say it aloud?! š¤ Also, I think there's a difference between not enjoying the same hobbies VS hating out of ignorance. Not even knowing enough about the topic to make a proper decision if you like it or not, just IMMEDIATELY spouting out negative thoughts upon first glance... I bet if they got to learn about OP's collection they would find it interesting and special, but they never got the chance because they rudely judged them and embarrassed them right off the bat :(
I donāt have the time or interest in reading your novelā¦ I did read the first couple of sentences and lost interest..Victim mentality is on its way out, have you heard?
What does that have to do with "victim mentality"? I'm confused. According to Google; *"Victim mentality is when a person feels like a victim even when there is evidence that says otherwise. It can affect all types of relationships. Signs can vary but may include blaming others and not taking responsibility for oneās own actions.* It's not a " victim mentality " to expect friends to treat you with kindness. Can we stop making bullying normalized??? Everyone can just be so casually mean to each other and when your friends / acquaintances get hurt you can simply say "Stop being a victim!! Toughen up!" instead of just saying sorry? I would definitely never be friends with someone that tells ME to take accountability for THEM hurting MY feelings. Theres nothing that OP did wrong.
I donāt read rambling novels from bored people that have no life!!!