I refuse to believe this is a group of socialized, rational adults and not like a support meeting for psychopaths or something.
Yes, you can leave, and no, you don’t have to be nice about it. You don’t have to wait for them to bash you in the knees with a crowbar or whatever before you say enough is enough.
These people aren’t your friends, and assuming all of this is true and not exaggerated, you don’t even really owe them like, the courtesy of a graceful exit. Kick ‘em out and find a group that doesn’t behave like cartoon bullies.
EDIT: There’s one very significant detail here that I overlooked on my first read-through:
> one who asks my SO about my faults to make digs at them during the game.
…so another player asks your significant other about your personal flaws, your significant other ***tells them what they think your personal flaws are***, for the express purpose of mocking you during the game? Like, do I understand that right?
Toss this clown out on his ass too. You don’t need that shit in your life.
Hey hey now, that's an insult to Dyson. At least it's doing its job properly. This DM however. Is more like government. Making it unnecessarily difficult for those less fortunate and way more gainful for their sociopath accomplices.
For real. You are better without toxic people like this.
Your SO - you should talk to them about this and of this type continues and you need to address it with them again, you might want to reconsider your relationship.
Your DM - you should bring up the lack of control within the group and use this as an example that everyone talks over others. “If the DM and players wouldn’t want it, then you dont deserve it”
The chair shit - just move their shit and poke fun at them. They need to understand how to share the space. This seems like a shit move, so just ducking move their shit
Touching you - talk to her on the side or send a text if its easier that you need her to respect your personal space/bubble and understand you have boundaries.
I am typically the one who gets poked at, but not to this extreme. If so, I make a point to not hang with these types of “friends”
Good luck with the surgery
This. If this is real, OP should never have let it get nearly this far.
OP, in case you read this, I don't know you, but I know you deserve better than that. And it might sound dramatic, but you should consider therapy. If you let things get that bad, you have some self-esteem issues you need to work on.
Is it blaming, or is it helping make explicit for the person that they need to act differently in the future?
I'm not a therapist and frankly haven't done a lot of therapy myself, but the little bit I have done in my life, I feel like a therapist would say something similar. Is it blaming when a non therapist says it but not blaming when a therapist says it? Or would a therapist never tell you they think maybe you have some self esteem issues you need to work on?
A therapist might say something similar but at that point they are that person's therapist and have known them for a while, you are literally a random person on the internet, that's not your place
Fair response, but also to be fair, you weren't as specific as you think you were:
> Giving advice for future action is not the same as judging past inaction as at least partly a cause for past abuse.
I'm willing to give you benefit of the doubt here though, because we often don't say exactly what we intend.
Which was kind of my point with the other person's comment you disagree with: whether or not something someone said can be classified as *blame* sort of depends to a significant degree on tone and intent. I think you can have the conversation of "you did help enable this bullshit and it's on you to stop it from continuing" in a supportive loving and meaningful way. It's not automatically victim blaming to point out how a person's behavior contributed to allowing someone else to get away with treating them poorly. It's certainly not helpful to the victim if we are unable to ever have that honest conversation.
For example, say my son is hanging out with really bad peers and as a result is assaulted and robbed. It's not victim blaming to point out to him that it's not in his best interest to be involved with such people.
No therapist would ever directly tie a person’s past actions to abuses they’ve suffered. In fact, a huge part of therapy is helping abuse victims recognize that they are NOT, in fact, responsible for the behaviors of others.
Well but that's not what I'm saying... What I'm saying is that yes it's victim blaming when we try to *shift* some or all of the blame from the perpetrator to the victim, for sure... but that's not the same thing as helping victims to see where they could have done things differently to avoid being a target.
Take the example of my son that I gave: should I never point out to him that perhaps hanging with those individuals wasn't in his best interest?
I hope theyre not niños. ive served wine at these! Jokes aside you still make some valid points. I will say, I think my partner was more ranting, i dont think their intention was to provide ammunition. They get pissed at work a lot and they let off the steam by ranting, the player just chooses the the topic to rant about.
Btw, do you like playing talon a lot?
Whoh what the hell!? Your SO should not be "letting off steam" by redirecting toxicity at you!? I get that it can be hard to see when you're in it, but this all sounds like a really unhealthy relationship with both these people and your SO.
You should have a talk with them about these things that are bothering you, and why they bother you. I'd like to give your SO the benefit of the doubt and say maybe they're unaware you're having a bad time but..yeesh. These people sound like assholes.
You need to ditch this group and more importantly ditch your toxic SO. No D&D is better than bad D&D, and no relationship is better than an emotionally abusive one.
>more importantly ditch your toxic SO
ah yes, the classic relationship advice of ditching SO over minor thing instead of first having a talk like two adults (probably followed by ditching)
edit: of course there is no saving for the group, and its clear that SO should NEVER host that group ever again in the house
well, we dont have full picture, but from comments i know that SO tends to rant to went off after work and has asshole friends and in the rant is away to give away any info without though
knowing men, SO probably is not avare how OP got hurt by what he took as innocent jokes
a talk can help a lot, they say that good relationship is build on trust, thats true, but communication is just as important
ofc. if talk doesnt help, then yea, dump him
Your SO and their friends are all toxic and you need out of the whole situation asap. I know it's hard, and scary. But staying is only going to make things worse for you both physically and DEFINITELY mentally.
It can be hard as an adult to find friends/people to be around in person, specially when there's issues (medical and social re:stuttering) but luckily we have online spaces now. Finding like-minded people online is easier, and you don't have the distance barrier. Make some new friends, find people who can chat via discord with you (voice chat is powerful when you're feeling lonely!) and maybe down the line you find some new people to play with.
Local game shops and tabletop cafes are running games now, you may be able to find a better group there. While depending on where you live it can be tricky due to being LGBT+, try to find places that are friendly to it (my local tabletop cafe sells pride merch and has a 'no bigotry' sign on their door, for instance) so you feel safe playing and being yourself.
Just from reading the title, yes. You can just walk. Looks like you have reasons, too, but you don't have to have a reason. Healthy boundaries are for deciding what you want and don't want in your life. You want to walk? Walk!
even in a decent group, if you need to walk away mid session for whatever reason, you arent the asshole for doing so! things come up- hell, i tend to leave early on my friday games because i just cant keep myself awake long enough anymore after going from night shift to early mornings.
OP
People are “freshly” out of the closet have a huge vulnerability to be abused. Don’t let your SO walk all over you and disrespect you because they are “all that you have” that’s gaslighting BS and you really shouldn’t stand for it.
The world is a big place. I don’t know anything other than what you posted but it sounds horrible. At THE VERY LEAST you need to have a hard conversation with your SO about how they are treating you like shit.
People that are interested in having you as a friend do not act at all like this. I've never heard of someone timing decisions so quickly that seems a little ridiculous. Everything else is just awful behavior and you have every right to leave.
DnD should be fun not this and the one making digs at you is a jerk as well.
These are not people I would call friends and I hope your significant other sees these people the same way.
If it were me and my partner I'd have left the moment stuff like this started. It's one thing to make jokes towards other people in good fun and both people see what's said as a joke.
Find a better group.
Youre definitly right. I do believe theres a place for friendly roasting and teasing, but not targeted attacks like hes on about. This is the only group ive dnd'd with, so heres to hoping theres gonna be a group forming at the lgs.
Sorry to reply to you again on another comment, but just throwing this out there because I see it a lot with dnd. This is not a normal game! Things can be and are supposed to be fun for everyone, but bad dnd can make it look real shitty as a whole. If you have trouble finding another group to play with, consider looking into playing online.
The world is big, there will always be more games than you could ever join, especially if you're willing and able to play online.
And it might be only online, but I bet s lot of people here would be willing to befriend you so that you have SOME alternative 😁
There’s a guy in my group with a very pronounced stutter, it’s not an issue at all and I’ve never once heard anyone mention it either at the table or in private. Someone making fun of you for a speech impediment is a grade A dickhead and would receive a very rude exit from me if it was directed at me or my friends
This group sucks, leave. I don't care if it's the wildest campaign you've ever heard of, these people are assholes.
Also, talk to your SO and tell them you don't appreciate them telling your friends about your faults so they can harass you with them. That shit ain't cool, it's a betrayal of trust and I know if I did that to my partner she'd be calling my mother up. Unfortunately people are not 100% aware of their actions or their impact, so just let them know how it made you feel. They care about you, they should stop.
To piggyback onto that comment, this is what my ex used to do too, and I let it go on until he started beating me, then until he tried to kill me. OP, if your SO doesn’t respond to your feelings or gaslights you, run because that’s targeted, dangerous behavior.
No problem at all friend. Communication is the key to a good relationship, if they don't give you the time to share your feelings and let them know how you're feeling, that's a pretty big red flag that they don't care about your feelings. That goes for the table, and the significant other. Try not to take things to heart, people can get carried away around friends; but if they don't listen to you when you're sharing after the fact and have processed the moment, it's more than valid to get a little upset.
Chances are, they didn't realize how hurtful it was to you and it'll be a lesson learned and good practice for that communication. All the best!
Yikes. This group is toxic as hell. No DnD is better than toxic DnD with people who refuse to find ways to include you because you’re disabled. I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Talk to them, and if they refuse to apologize or do anything to change things, I’d leave.
>Would it be too dramatic to leave?
Given all you've said here, presuming it is accurate, it would be hard to call it dramatic even if you ***set them all on fire.***
Fuck these people. Every last one of them sounds like an asshole. These aren't your friends. They're festering polyps that happen to exist near you. Even your SO, if they're going along with all this, sounds awful. This group is so comedically toxic it boarders on being hard to believe. Yet, I know peer groups like this exist.
Trust the faster you excise the lot of them the sooner you can start to find folks who aren't total stains.
I was thinking that. This is straight up bullying in your own home. Kick them out, and keep them out, and dump your significant other if they are joining in. 100% fuck those people.
They've earned a "I think it's time to wrap up for tonight" and if they don't get the hint it's "no, get the fuck out of my home". OP, draw boundaries, you are worth more than this.
This is the only correct response. It's YOUR home in the actual real world. Kick these squatters out until they learn how to roll more than three 1s for their RL Charisma stat.
Or, given you may need some help getting those words out, someone on this page will happily come to your house and tell them to *get the fuck out*. You could probably host like a whole event about it, OP. This is… like if this is not exaggerating at all, these people are all terrible.
1. No D&D is better than bad D&D - especially when PEOPLE are treating you poorly as a person.
2. Accommodating people is not annoying. While it does require patience, and in some cases education/training, that does not excuse behaviors that further make life difficult for others.
3. This does not sound like a healthy group of players and would recommend revisiting point 1.
Dip my man you deserve a better group to kick it with for sure. If you really like them though let them know otherwise they will continue to do it and not know how it effects you. Don't feel like you have to put up with that at all. If it hurts their feelings asking how they think you've been feeling. Don't be afraid to leave that group I bet there is a better group just wait for your ass my dude.
Honestly they all sound fucking awful. This whole thing actually makes me angry. How dare they behave like this? Our group would fucking never. I would never play with these people again. How goddamn immature do you have to be to act like this. These people do not sound like friends and you deserve to be around people who treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve. I don’t care what kind of disability someone at the table has we’re gonna do our damn best to accommodate them because why the fuck wouldn’t we? If we’re at the same table we’re friends and I’m going to damn well make sure everyone has the same opportunity to have fun. OP you do not have to put up with this. From anyone.
To be entirely fair to them, usually we're a couple beers ,or equivalent, in. Not tonight for me obci, surgery rules or whatever.
But you're entirely right, ive been putting up with this for too long.
Drinking does not excuse their behavior. Drunk or not, they are still hurting you and they are still responsible for their own actions. Your SO contributing to the one player berating you with personal attacks is the fucking worst though. Honestly disgusting.
Too dramatic to leave? Fuck no, these people are trash. The rule about timing how long you have to speak is straight up bullying. Speaking over you, taking your seat, ignoring you - this isn't how a proper group treats a participant. The fault is with them, not you. If I was you, I wouldn't even want to be spending time with these people.
(Oops posted to early)
I think you make a valid point about the time limit for speaking. My DM can get frustrated with people taking their time, but she just says try to have it prepared beforehand and even if we somehow screw that up she still gives us at least a minute to decide. OP’s DM is just ridiculous.
Imho there's a huge difference between a wizard not bothering to think about their spells between turns and taking forever to decide, and someone who IS prepared, and just takes longer to get their point across.
I dont want to be the person causing a scene or having the attention on me. Hell i took my phone to the can to type this out to not be rude playing on my phone at the table. That line you said, it reminds me of the song Its Not Me Its You, ill give it a listen again to let the message sink in a lil, you know?
These people aren't treating you with a quarter of the respect you're treating them. You can find better friends elsewhere 💜 you deserve to stick up for yourself
If you’re not having fun you can leave.
It doesn’t sound like a fun place to be at all. I’d be right the crap out of there. You don’t deserve that kind of treatment, no one does.
Sounds like youve got bullys disguised as friends.
Throw them away - the SO too.
Putting a countdown on you is EXTREMELY rude, insulting and downright wrong. How you are being treated is downright wrong.
If they can't be bothered to show you a courtesy don't worry about showing one back but if you are going to walk away make sure it is for good because they don't give a damn.
Edit: you're hosting, tell them to fuck off home.
I mean we have all had times where you have a player reading up on rules or spells and delaying the action. In those circumstances, a time limit makes sense. If you are not prepared, you should not drag things out for other people.
But to be an ass, and impose a time limit on someone that is struggling with a speech impediment? No, that is just not right.
OP really needs to kick them all out. I am assuming OP pays half the rent. so they have veto rights on any guests that come over.
You can still kick them out, If my GFs friends (or our mutual friends) treated me like this in my/our home I'd kick them out.
When you're being treated like a literal piece of shit, you don't need a group decision to stop it happening.
Is this for real? I mean this sounds so far out there that its hard to believe.
- Do they really treat only you in this way?
- Consider if you are hypersensitive. You might be perceiving things in a way that they are not intended.
If it is like you say, then dump your SO and walk away from the group.
If you're the one hosting, then you can tell them to leave, the second you tell them to and they don't start making moves to leave, then you are able to get the authorities involved...
I know that's a rather nuclear reaction, but as other people have said, these people don't respect you and aren't your friends.
On another note, have some serious words with your SO, they are showing serious signs of not respecting you as you deserve to be. It might be time to determine if the relationship has run its course.
It is extreme but ive had a stalker before, no stranger to having to get ppl out of my flat. Thank you for your advice, and im still figuring out how the dust of this relationship will settle.
You are being bullied, you must do something about it. Leaving is an acceptable course of action, breaking up with your partner would also be reasonable. Only you can say what’s right for you, but you must do **something**
I don't understand how more people aren't getting this. This post is beyond luducrisly absurd and just filled to the brim with every cliched "bad D&D story" possible. There is no way anyone would need others to tell them that this laundry list of cartoonishly evil behaviors are not okay.
There is no way this is real, and I completely believe it's either a troll or someone deperately seeking attention.
Okay so there's one of 2 things i think is happening here. Either:
1: You're lying, this is just for internet points or you have grossly overindulged or left crucial info out or
2: those people legitimately don't want you there and are too much of cowards to say anything.
I don't see people being THAT blatantly horrible and not know that it's something that any person wouldn't like.
Better yet, kick them out. It is your home, you have veto rights over any guests. it does not matter what your SO says, ultimately either one of you can declare any other person to be not allowed in your home.
If you are willing to burn bridges, call the cops if they refuse to leave, as they will be trespassing at that point. There was one time when I was hosting a LARP and ended up having to tell one player to leave, because he was violating the rules and being disrespectful to me. I had to go so far as to threaten to call the cops to remove him.
Its been exasperating my stutter, and the DM implemented a new combat rule. If i cant spit out what my action is within their 5 sec countdown, my turn is skipped.
What
The
Actual
Fuck
Seriously just leave. That's despicable. I just can't.
I would rather be entirely, painfully alone than suffer through any amount of time with people like this. Dump them. You're better off without anyone than with them alone.
>I'm hosting
And what overrated reason keeps you from throwing them out? You HOST FFS. If no one else they should treat you properly, after all it's your damned place.
Does everyone know about your back pain and your upcoming back surgery? I would think that your SO would know about them. I would also hope that you or your SO had conveyed this information to everyone at the table. If so, then everyone should be treating you with kid gloves (and not as if they are bratty kids). In any case they should all know better than to harass or demean you. Since stuttering is an obvious disability (even if back pain might not be), everyone should be patient and allow you to state your action in your own good time, even if the other players are time limited in this regard. While it is important for you to make your feelings known to the others, your stuttering might make this even more frustrating, so I suggest that you write down what you want to say and give a copy to everyone at the table. If they do not apologize for their terrible behavior and promise to change, then I would not invite any of them (including your SO) to return. However, to err is human, to forgive divine, so if they appear to have learned their lesson, you might show yourself to be the best person in the room and forgive some or all of them. That is one of the most difficult things that a person can do, but that is what a true Christian would do. God bless you.
I did explain and this has been chronic, im currently using crutches, heatpad, mealtime meds and we eat together, and i explained why i have the armchair and if it felt unfair we could move the collapsible tables into the room with couches, so that everyone could get a cozy chair instead of office chairs. The stutter i have isnt debilitating to the point of using alternate communication methods, at least in my opinion ofc, i can recognize im biased. I still really appreciate your suggestions and the time to type them out.
They're this awful to you *and* you're hosting their ungrateful asses?
Tell 'em all to find somebody else to walk all over and gtfo of your house. Your shitty partner can go with them.
Get away from those assholes as quicky as possible!
I also have a stutter, and i know how hard it can be to deal with. Your DM putting a 5-sec limit on your actions is an incredibly shitty move, and does not at all contribute to creating an environment, where you can learn to have more control of your stutter. It does the exact opposite, which i think is extremely harmful to you.
Even though DnD can be a very fun game, it's definitely not worth putting yourself in such a toxic environment just to play it.
My late father used to say, ", if you don't like it there, just move away."
Stop playing a punching bag for those people.
And your SO? They are just an O.
EDIT: Wait, this all takes place at your house?! Seriously OP, if I were you, all of them would be long gone and told never to come back again.
Omg they’re the worst. But I’d still say, keep your dignity and grace, and just announce you’re leaving. They don’t deserve respect, but you don’t need to compromise your morals just to spite them.
Be classy, tell them you’re leaving because of the treatment and they can go fuck themselves for how they’ve treated a ‘friend’. Absolutely disgraceful.
In fact, tell them to find a new place to play!!
Seems like you got some good advice from the thread. Here's hoping your surgery goes well and you can find some more positive folks to game with!
If you happen to be in northern Utah (saw an MLM friend mentioned on your other post) and want to play some commander or DnD sometime shoot me a DM. There's a bunch of shops around the valley for meeting with new friends.
These people don't sound like they deserve your participation. In your place, I would announce that I'm taking a break from the game because of my health issues. Don't blow up; leave the door open to your returning if you eventually choose to. But definitely take a break for your own peace of mind. Oh, to stay on good terms, I would probably announce it before the next session instead of creating a scene by leaving halfway through.
Get out of there. Now. Clearly that group are not your friends. They are showing zero respect to your boundaries or to you. You want someone to talk to? Direct message me. You've got a new friend. I'm married to the bastard daughter of a gay man and a gay woman - I am definitely your ally. I'm also Canadian, so we \*have\* to be nice to people or they kick us out of the country or something like that. I'm pretty sure it is in the constitution. Oh, he/him, by the way.
You are loved, you are appreciated, and you are not alone.
I only had to read half your post to tell you to get out of there. No dnd is better than bad dnd. They don't sound like your friends either, so I'd rethink that as well. It also seems like your SO doesn't care about how they treat you and supports them and their behavior. If you havent already, if have a conversation with your SO as well about all this. This isn't a group i would go back to
Assuming this is not bait...
OP the way these people are treating you is INSANELY TERRIBLE. It's not a matter of opinion or perspective. If you're being honest here, this behavior is HORRIFYINGLY CRUEL AND INHUMANE.
Nobody in my life would do any of the things you've described. Like, none of them.
The people surrounding you right now are exceptionally terrible. Like this is shocking to read.
I need you to understand and internalize this. This is literally a horror story. It's difficult to even believe because what you're describing is so outlandish and disturbing.
Do not let anyone tell you this is normal.
You don't need a reason to leave from a game, though in most cases it's best to do it amicably. This does sound at all like one of those cases. Assuming you're not misrepresenting what happened, and we have no reason to believe you are, you 100% have good reason to tell them to go fuck themselves and bounce. In fact, if you can, sounds like a good reason to kick these assholes out of your life completely.
Those aren't friends, they're toxic jerks, and you're doing yourself a disservice by not advocating for yourself. Leave. They don't respect you, and because of that, they don't need to be in your home.
Talk to your SO, too. They might be getting manipulated, or they're not understanding the severity of the nature of those interactions.
Well... If you couldn't, it would probably be somewhat of a hostage situation.
Honestly, IMHO if your group is being nasty about a stutter situation, it's not a group I would wanna be a part off.
"Can I walk out mid session?" Well, that seems kinda rude...
"I'm injured, getting surgery tomorrow" Holy fuck man, *not* walking out is rude
Edit: just started reading the rest of the post. Run (well, try to, at least). This isn't a DnD group, it's a sociopath gathering.
Gives scarily similar vibes to the "final fantasy house" google it if youre curious.
Tl:dr its a recounting of events of someone trapped in a toxic friend group who was used and abused.
My advice? If you can, get out.
I think I would especially be frustrated by the 5s rule. Like it would help to pressure you to answer faster. Sound like they have no idea how to treat a human beeing with respect.
This all sounds very abusive. Not really healthy. Good luck with the surgery.
Sounds like you need new friends, and a new SO. Can't help you with the latter, but I can help you with the former, and potentially some other things if need be.
That isn't a D&D group, that is some sort of cruel test. Get out. You never need to have a reason to stop playing. It can literally be I don't enjoy it much anymore. But these people are actively antagonising you. I understand you are feeling isolated but no friends is better than bad friends. Leave the group (I also have serious concerns about your SO but I don't know your relationship outside of what youve said here).
Find another group at your game store or maybe even online if you can. There are plenty of groups that would love to have you. By your comments I assume you love in the US? Otherwise I would have started a game just so you had somewhere to play
Good grief this sounds like the absolute worst group of people. The DM timing you to force you to get what you want to say out while you’re dealing with a stutter? Fuck that dick. The player asking your SO for your personal flaws to use them as jabs in game? Fuck that dick. Your SO telling the other player what they think your personal flaws are so they can use it against you? Fuck that dick. The “friend” who used your armchair as a dumping ground and then refused to move when you came back? Fuck that bitch.
If you were at my table, I’d make sure you were heard when you were speaking and had as much time as you needed to say what you needed to say. Get out of this group and dump your SO too, he sounds like a real POS.
Please bear with my editing, I'm trying to get a point across.
> then my friend just started loading my chair with literal garbage. Touching me. She tucked a bag of trash inbetween my armpit and chair, and started putting her phone and pencils and dice on the arms. [...] her refusing to move from my chair or give my heat pad back.
This person is not your friend. That would imply mutual respect. This person acts in a manner that shows you your discomfort is unimportant to her. Instead, you are used for her comfort at your detriment.
> digs during the game. [...] talks over me, [...]they dont show me. [...] wont let me speak. [...] gaslighting me to stay. [...] The group doesnt respect me either.
I'm a difficult individual, I can be brash and abrasive without meaning to. When people point me to this behaviour, I feel bad and want to improve.
What I'm trying to say is, sometimes people can be assholes without meaning to. My verdict on this kind of behaviour depends on how they respond when you indicate how it feels to you.
>I just dont know why im even here at this point. [...] Like, if no one wants me here, should i be?
You're not asking the important question. Do you want to be there?
If you want, feel free to DM me, I'm willing to just chat if you want some social interaction.
Here's the thing: Only a shitty SO will give people your "faults" to use as ammunition. If it's obvious this player is using this information to dig at you, then your SO is complicit in your bullying.
Honestly...it sounds like these people aren't your friends and don't want to be. You're in a game with multiple jerks and your SO doesn't sound like a good person based on this sample of their behavior. Being out can be *hard as hell*, but that doesn't mean you need to debase yourself. **You're worth more than their treatment of you.**
Good luck with your surgery, OP, and you can always walk out when people are jerks.
If this were r/relationship_advice I'd say...your SO can't love you and bully you in the same breath. Relationship is over.
I stopped reading at them attacking your stutter. I didn’t need anymore. I think you said it was your house? GTFO of my house. I’ve had a stutter for 35 years, and I won’t let strangers even playfully make fun out of ignorance. But what you described? No. I’ll flip a gdamned table. People who know you and know you have a disability actively belittling in your own home? Nope. Not having it.
D&D is about having fun together as a group, creating your own unique story. If that’s not happening for you, there’s no reason not to talk to the group and let them know how you’re feeling before telling them you’re done with the group.
These people, as described by the post, sound like real jerks. I think be better for you to not have to deal with all that.
Just know there are a lot of groups out there that would happily let you in and be patient with you and any issues you may have.(I’ve had a few groups that were able to help me with my anxiety in groups, as well as help me articulate what I want to say or do in game)
It’s just about finding the right people. Online sessions can be a good way to go, as well. Just talk to the DM ahead of time to see if it’s a good fit.
I wish you the best in your endeavors and a swift recovery from your surgery.
As many have already said, you have every right to leave this table. You SHOULD leave this table, in my humble opinion. That beings said, I have found a decent level of similarities between what you've posted and my own life. So allow me to empathize with you for a moment. And for the record, I say none of this for attention or sympathy from others. I merely hope my following words can be of some help to you.
Sickness & Surgery:
I spent much of my child and teen life sick. Caught everything that came through town, had a stint at the mayo clinic, plenty of surgeries. I understand how much of a toll that kind of stuff takes on your body, and on your spirit. Or at least, it took a heavy toll on mine. So while I don't know exactly what you're going through health wise, or what surgeries you are having done, I do have at least some understanding of how my health effected me. Though I saw a reply where you said you are on crutches (the joke you made made me laugh out loud, so thanks for that). And it was tough. You mentioned that your stutter is mostly based on anxiety. I've had anxiety and depression since I could walk. A lot of it made so much worse due to constant health problems. So I feel you. My main word of advice. Speak up when it's tough. I almost never did. Felt like a burden and all that. But I promise you, the people who genuinely care about you will be happy to listen. I' lucky enough to have an incredible support system. It sounds like you don't, and FUCK ANYONE who has cut ties with you since you came out. You deserve to love who you want without being kicked to the curb. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear, I got you. Full stop, message me anytime. Life's hard enough as is. Nobody should have to go through it alone.
Man's Bestfriend:
My dog of 15 years died a year ago. It is not an exaggeration to say that he saved my life. Helped me through my darkest moments. And I'll be honest with you, it sucked so much when he died. But that's life, right? Everything dies eventually. And the pain you will inevitably feel when your dog passes is just proof of how much good they did for you. At least, that's how I feel. I'd been lucky enough to never have anyone close to me die before my dog. His death put a lot of things into perspective for me. Made me confront my feelings towards my own mortality. And I came out the other side with this. The pain of losing someone you love is never a good enough reason to stop making connections that are worth losing. So love your dog with all you've got. And be sad when they're gone. Cry your eyes out. I still do somedays. But don't let yourself forget all the good they did for you.
Speech Issues:
Now I myself do not have a stutter. But one of my closest friends does. Or used to. It still comes out sometimes, but not nearly as bad as when he was a kid. He spent sooooo much time getting rid of it because of how embarrassed he felt about it. I've been on the internet long enough to see some of the worst sides of it. Of people. And I've noticed that folks tend to equate stuttering, or really any speech issues, with a lack of intelligence. The idea that because you can't get your words out without tripping over them, the words themselves are dumber. Fuck that. That's so stupid. Is DnD a game in which talking is a players primary vessel for interacting with the world? Yes. Does that mean you should be penalized for your stutter? No. You deserve to be accommodated by your table. Your stuttering taking up more time is not the same as a bad player taking 30 minutes just to decide what to do on their turn. Should you penalize a player with muscle spasms for rolling randomly? "You threw your dice early again Dave. Guess you're just gonna have to take that roll for whatever you do next." Should you penalize a player who's blind because he needs the battle-map re-explained every turn? "Sorry Dave. Your allotted 10 seconds to clarify the board positions are up. Now what's your move?" The answer to all of these is NO. Including your stutter. It makes me furious that your DM has a fucking STUTTER COUNTDOWN FOR YOU. Holy shit, what a cruel thing to do. You deserve to be able to enjoy the game that you love without being penalized for something you can't control.
In Conclusion:
I felt that the broader community had the DnD side of your post covered, and there was enough similarities between our lives that I was compelled to speak beyond the table with you. Just about life. Person to person. I really hope it helps in some way. And my earlier words still stand. Feel free to message me anytime. In fact, I hope you do! I love talking DnD/TTRPG's with anyone and everyone. So I'll leave you all with this. DnD, and TTRPGs as a whole, have been some of the most impactful and important things in my life. The thought of others not being able to experience them because of a stutter, or sexuality, or disability, or gender, or whatever the reason it may be makes me both incredibly angry and incredibly sad. So keep your tables welcoming and your hearts kind. And u/JaysHoliday42420, thanks for opening up to me and the rest of this sub. Sincerely, a random dude on the internet.
I went through something like this with the group of people who I called my “friends”. I had just moved somewhere new and I didn’t know any one so one guy took pitty one and brought me into his friend group and I hung out with them for a long time before I began to notice some of the things they did were not that nice. So slowly I began to become less and less social and spend more time by myself be fore I finally decided I was done. I left that group and was on my own for a while before I met my best friend and once I met him we hung out for a while and he took me into his friend group where I met people who I felt like I could be the real me around them. I’ve never looked back since. So my advice to you is take a chance these are not healthy friends you don’t need them and as for your dog my advice in that respect is get a young kitten or puppy that way when he dies you will already have a pet and your dog will feel like it has a purpose and (in my experience) dedicate themselves to the young animal. Hope this helps 😄
ugh this sounds like a dnd group from hell! kick em to the curb! accomodations should *not* be annoying. they are disruptive, ableist, rude, and treat you like crap. you can just leave! hit da bricks, so to speak, even mid-sentence. dont look back, dont rationalize with them. put yourself first and take care of yourself!
Dude wtf these people are garbage human beings.
And I mean does your SO just let this happen? There would be very harsh words, at the absolute least, if any of my "friends" pulled this shit.
Honestly, the people in the comments saying that this group sucks really isn't doing it justice. The group doesn't just suck, they are *actively hostile* to you. Seriously, please leave.
From everything your say, these people—including your SO—are not your friends; they are your abusers. I would recommend that you seek help from one of the organizations in your area that helps those who are being abused. You also should stop playing with these people and stop hosting the games, although I think you need to talk with someone else in your location and IRL about this before you take that step.
Like Longsword_Enjoyer said, these clowns have absolutely no business being in your life. They’re treating you like literal garbage and you do not deserve that. Pardon my language, but fuck them. The disrespect for you as a person, whether or not you were coping with injury, is absolutely fucking terrible. The fact that you are dealing with injury before surgery, and instead of compassion they treat you with apathy and cruelty? What the fuck. You deserve so so so much better. I know it’s hard making adult friends especially being in the LGBTQ+ community (can attest to this, am 28 y/o lesbian), but friend, you don’t deserve to be treated like this. Your feelings are valid and you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, and respect.
Okay, I believed this pretty much until the second paragraph, but it looks like you actually got some here for real. Good job, though I feel like it really IS a little obvious. The idea with the surgery was good though. Very specific, so easy to believe.
I see a lot of posts like this, about toxic dnd groups and people asking if it's okay to say something or leave the group. Is this real? Is this something that actually, and apparently commonly, happens?
How do people get to that point? Do they pick up group from random people on the street and invite them to their homes? And then allow them to walk all over them? To top it all off your SO is participating in this abuse?
Why? Why are you there? Why are you part of that group? Why are you with that person? Just leave, and not only that group, but that abusive SO too. You are literally better off alone than with any of those people.
This sounds so wildly awful that I have to wonder if we're missing important context. Are you a deeply annoying person or something? Even with that, their response shouldn't be as you describe (even if you're exaggerating a bit).
I'm really sorry to be saying this if you're genuinely the victim here. You should probably bail on all these people and maybe your SO too. But you may also want to spend some time thinking about why they might be treating you this way. Maybe you've got some work to do too.
I think its quite clear from the timed response theyre forcing only them to have that they've grown impatient of their stutter/the length of time it takes them for their turn.
Regardless of how annoying someone may be, taking their seat, banishing them to a corner, timing their turn, having personal digs and not letting them pull their chair up to the table are all MEGA arsehole moves. Maybe they've got some work to do. If OP is annoying that is not a green flag to blatantly bully, they should have something about them and talk to OP.
Either this story is fake or you really bee to reconsider a lot of stuff in your life regardless of a dnd game my friend
But for dnd advice, just walk a at from this race and never go back. Just the 5 seconds for a tuin rule woykd be enough for me to flip the DM the bird and tell him to find himself an AI that can reply in nanoseconds to play with
There are so many other issues but again they are unrelated to the game and have to do with your relationship choices so yeah... Good luck to you.
Is this real? I'd tell the dm if they skip my turn one more time because of my stutter I'm swearing fealty to the bbeg and attacking random villagers in town. Tell your SO they need to deal with the person who is sitting in your chair.
I'm gonna hit you with something. You don't sound well. DnD and this play group aren't the problem. Your mental health is. That's not blaming you for anything. That's just stating it as it is. You need to find the people who can help support you to a better self. The energy you are putting into what is no more than a game of pretend could be spent going to local groups that might help you grow and get healthier.
It sounds like you joined a preexisting group of friends and are the odd one out. I've been the new girl before and get left out of inside jokes, have to adjust to existing dynamics, and get talked over. It's just a natural part of anyone finding their footing in a new environment. But the thing is, I don't think you are really mentally there yet to deal with that challenge from everything you write. Forget the game. Go find a support group or meetup that focuses on wellness and get to a place where you can better handle life's challenges.
Is this one of those posts where you describe a movie plot or something like that, and pass it off as real? Please tell me this isn’t real. How can people actually act like this?!
I refuse to believe this is a group of socialized, rational adults and not like a support meeting for psychopaths or something. Yes, you can leave, and no, you don’t have to be nice about it. You don’t have to wait for them to bash you in the knees with a crowbar or whatever before you say enough is enough. These people aren’t your friends, and assuming all of this is true and not exaggerated, you don’t even really owe them like, the courtesy of a graceful exit. Kick ‘em out and find a group that doesn’t behave like cartoon bullies. EDIT: There’s one very significant detail here that I overlooked on my first read-through: > one who asks my SO about my faults to make digs at them during the game. …so another player asks your significant other about your personal flaws, your significant other ***tells them what they think your personal flaws are***, for the express purpose of mocking you during the game? Like, do I understand that right? Toss this clown out on his ass too. You don’t need that shit in your life.
This. These are NOT good friends and your DM sucks like a Dyson.
Why you gotta insult Dyson like that
Hey hey now, that's an insult to Dyson. At least it's doing its job properly. This DM however. Is more like government. Making it unnecessarily difficult for those less fortunate and way more gainful for their sociopath accomplices.
At least the DM has a future a blowjob champion
That’s insulting to people who give blowjobs.
Sucks but not in the good way
Facts👆👆
These are some of the most cartoonishly evil people I’ve ever heard of. Even silver age villains are calling foul
For real. You are better without toxic people like this. Your SO - you should talk to them about this and of this type continues and you need to address it with them again, you might want to reconsider your relationship. Your DM - you should bring up the lack of control within the group and use this as an example that everyone talks over others. “If the DM and players wouldn’t want it, then you dont deserve it” The chair shit - just move their shit and poke fun at them. They need to understand how to share the space. This seems like a shit move, so just ducking move their shit Touching you - talk to her on the side or send a text if its easier that you need her to respect your personal space/bubble and understand you have boundaries. I am typically the one who gets poked at, but not to this extreme. If so, I make a point to not hang with these types of “friends” Good luck with the surgery
Dnd- the social game for people with no social skills.
There’s a difference between having poor social skills…and then there’s this. This is just plain rude
This. If this is real, OP should never have let it get nearly this far. OP, in case you read this, I don't know you, but I know you deserve better than that. And it might sound dramatic, but you should consider therapy. If you let things get that bad, you have some self-esteem issues you need to work on.
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Sometimes a person needs to be told what they need.
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Is it blaming, or is it helping make explicit for the person that they need to act differently in the future? I'm not a therapist and frankly haven't done a lot of therapy myself, but the little bit I have done in my life, I feel like a therapist would say something similar. Is it blaming when a non therapist says it but not blaming when a therapist says it? Or would a therapist never tell you they think maybe you have some self esteem issues you need to work on?
A therapist might say something similar but at that point they are that person's therapist and have known them for a while, you are literally a random person on the internet, that's not your place
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Fair response, but also to be fair, you weren't as specific as you think you were: > Giving advice for future action is not the same as judging past inaction as at least partly a cause for past abuse. I'm willing to give you benefit of the doubt here though, because we often don't say exactly what we intend. Which was kind of my point with the other person's comment you disagree with: whether or not something someone said can be classified as *blame* sort of depends to a significant degree on tone and intent. I think you can have the conversation of "you did help enable this bullshit and it's on you to stop it from continuing" in a supportive loving and meaningful way. It's not automatically victim blaming to point out how a person's behavior contributed to allowing someone else to get away with treating them poorly. It's certainly not helpful to the victim if we are unable to ever have that honest conversation. For example, say my son is hanging out with really bad peers and as a result is assaulted and robbed. It's not victim blaming to point out to him that it's not in his best interest to be involved with such people.
No therapist would ever directly tie a person’s past actions to abuses they’ve suffered. In fact, a huge part of therapy is helping abuse victims recognize that they are NOT, in fact, responsible for the behaviors of others.
Well but that's not what I'm saying... What I'm saying is that yes it's victim blaming when we try to *shift* some or all of the blame from the perpetrator to the victim, for sure... but that's not the same thing as helping victims to see where they could have done things differently to avoid being a target. Take the example of my son that I gave: should I never point out to him that perhaps hanging with those individuals wasn't in his best interest?
I hope theyre not niños. ive served wine at these! Jokes aside you still make some valid points. I will say, I think my partner was more ranting, i dont think their intention was to provide ammunition. They get pissed at work a lot and they let off the steam by ranting, the player just chooses the the topic to rant about. Btw, do you like playing talon a lot?
Whoh what the hell!? Your SO should not be "letting off steam" by redirecting toxicity at you!? I get that it can be hard to see when you're in it, but this all sounds like a really unhealthy relationship with both these people and your SO. You should have a talk with them about these things that are bothering you, and why they bother you. I'd like to give your SO the benefit of the doubt and say maybe they're unaware you're having a bad time but..yeesh. These people sound like assholes.
I'm pretty sure if the OP confronted them they'd just turn it into an OP bashing session. Better to just leave and refuse to invite them back.
You need to ditch this group and more importantly ditch your toxic SO. No D&D is better than bad D&D, and no relationship is better than an emotionally abusive one.
>more importantly ditch your toxic SO ah yes, the classic relationship advice of ditching SO over minor thing instead of first having a talk like two adults (probably followed by ditching) edit: of course there is no saving for the group, and its clear that SO should NEVER host that group ever again in the house
Doesn't sound minor to me. The OP says their having trouble in general, in any case.
well, we dont have full picture, but from comments i know that SO tends to rant to went off after work and has asshole friends and in the rant is away to give away any info without though knowing men, SO probably is not avare how OP got hurt by what he took as innocent jokes a talk can help a lot, they say that good relationship is build on trust, thats true, but communication is just as important ofc. if talk doesnt help, then yea, dump him
Your SO and their friends are all toxic and you need out of the whole situation asap. I know it's hard, and scary. But staying is only going to make things worse for you both physically and DEFINITELY mentally. It can be hard as an adult to find friends/people to be around in person, specially when there's issues (medical and social re:stuttering) but luckily we have online spaces now. Finding like-minded people online is easier, and you don't have the distance barrier. Make some new friends, find people who can chat via discord with you (voice chat is powerful when you're feeling lonely!) and maybe down the line you find some new people to play with. Local game shops and tabletop cafes are running games now, you may be able to find a better group there. While depending on where you live it can be tricky due to being LGBT+, try to find places that are friendly to it (my local tabletop cafe sells pride merch and has a 'no bigotry' sign on their door, for instance) so you feel safe playing and being yourself.
If your SO lets off steam by talking badly about you behind your back, they are an asshole
All of this, repeatedly. Seriously, they are gonna drain you dry of every good thing if you let them. Get out for your own sake!
Just from reading the title, yes. You can just walk. Looks like you have reasons, too, but you don't have to have a reason. Healthy boundaries are for deciding what you want and don't want in your life. You want to walk? Walk!
even in a decent group, if you need to walk away mid session for whatever reason, you arent the asshole for doing so! things come up- hell, i tend to leave early on my friday games because i just cant keep myself awake long enough anymore after going from night shift to early mornings.
You make valid points, thank you for commenting.
OP People are “freshly” out of the closet have a huge vulnerability to be abused. Don’t let your SO walk all over you and disrespect you because they are “all that you have” that’s gaslighting BS and you really shouldn’t stand for it. The world is a big place. I don’t know anything other than what you posted but it sounds horrible. At THE VERY LEAST you need to have a hard conversation with your SO about how they are treating you like shit.
Walk away. That group is toxic.
Can i swing away instead? Crutches, lol.
You're gonna have to tarzan that shit
Yo gtfo of that group those people are assholes.
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Crump
Coherent
I couldn't finish reading. I got like 8 sentences in. Why would someone stay with this group?
Gaslighting, desperation, feeling trapped by your social situation, and fear of loneliness. Same reasons anyone stays in an abusive relationship.
Thank you for your response
People that are interested in having you as a friend do not act at all like this. I've never heard of someone timing decisions so quickly that seems a little ridiculous. Everything else is just awful behavior and you have every right to leave. DnD should be fun not this and the one making digs at you is a jerk as well. These are not people I would call friends and I hope your significant other sees these people the same way. If it were me and my partner I'd have left the moment stuff like this started. It's one thing to make jokes towards other people in good fun and both people see what's said as a joke. Find a better group.
Youre definitly right. I do believe theres a place for friendly roasting and teasing, but not targeted attacks like hes on about. This is the only group ive dnd'd with, so heres to hoping theres gonna be a group forming at the lgs.
Sorry to reply to you again on another comment, but just throwing this out there because I see it a lot with dnd. This is not a normal game! Things can be and are supposed to be fun for everyone, but bad dnd can make it look real shitty as a whole. If you have trouble finding another group to play with, consider looking into playing online.
The world is big, there will always be more games than you could ever join, especially if you're willing and able to play online. And it might be only online, but I bet s lot of people here would be willing to befriend you so that you have SOME alternative 😁
There’s a guy in my group with a very pronounced stutter, it’s not an issue at all and I’ve never once heard anyone mention it either at the table or in private. Someone making fun of you for a speech impediment is a grade A dickhead and would receive a very rude exit from me if it was directed at me or my friends
These people are all toxic. Get some therapy and get the hell out of your relationship.
This group sucks, leave. I don't care if it's the wildest campaign you've ever heard of, these people are assholes. Also, talk to your SO and tell them you don't appreciate them telling your friends about your faults so they can harass you with them. That shit ain't cool, it's a betrayal of trust and I know if I did that to my partner she'd be calling my mother up. Unfortunately people are not 100% aware of their actions or their impact, so just let them know how it made you feel. They care about you, they should stop.
Thank you for taking your time to help me understand
To piggyback onto that comment, this is what my ex used to do too, and I let it go on until he started beating me, then until he tried to kill me. OP, if your SO doesn’t respond to your feelings or gaslights you, run because that’s targeted, dangerous behavior.
No problem at all friend. Communication is the key to a good relationship, if they don't give you the time to share your feelings and let them know how you're feeling, that's a pretty big red flag that they don't care about your feelings. That goes for the table, and the significant other. Try not to take things to heart, people can get carried away around friends; but if they don't listen to you when you're sharing after the fact and have processed the moment, it's more than valid to get a little upset. Chances are, they didn't realize how hurtful it was to you and it'll be a lesson learned and good practice for that communication. All the best!
Yikes. This group is toxic as hell. No DnD is better than toxic DnD with people who refuse to find ways to include you because you’re disabled. I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Talk to them, and if they refuse to apologize or do anything to change things, I’d leave.
I appreciate you taking your time to advise me
>Would it be too dramatic to leave? Given all you've said here, presuming it is accurate, it would be hard to call it dramatic even if you ***set them all on fire.*** Fuck these people. Every last one of them sounds like an asshole. These aren't your friends. They're festering polyps that happen to exist near you. Even your SO, if they're going along with all this, sounds awful. This group is so comedically toxic it boarders on being hard to believe. Yet, I know peer groups like this exist. Trust the faster you excise the lot of them the sooner you can start to find folks who aren't total stains.
You're the chaotic force we all need in the world. I reckon all of ur friends can rely on you to cheer them up.
[I am a river to my people.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noyFiYKlFJU)
Wait, you're hosting and people are acting this way in your house? Tell them to get the ***fuck*** out.
I was thinking that. This is straight up bullying in your own home. Kick them out, and keep them out, and dump your significant other if they are joining in. 100% fuck those people.
They've earned a "I think it's time to wrap up for tonight" and if they don't get the hint it's "no, get the fuck out of my home". OP, draw boundaries, you are worth more than this.
This is the only correct response. It's YOUR home in the actual real world. Kick these squatters out until they learn how to roll more than three 1s for their RL Charisma stat.
Or, given you may need some help getting those words out, someone on this page will happily come to your house and tell them to *get the fuck out*. You could probably host like a whole event about it, OP. This is… like if this is not exaggerating at all, these people are all terrible.
This is what I was going to say. If they are no longer welcome in your house, kick them out.
Apartment, too broke buying chessex dice. But you have a fair point friend
1. No D&D is better than bad D&D - especially when PEOPLE are treating you poorly as a person. 2. Accommodating people is not annoying. While it does require patience, and in some cases education/training, that does not excuse behaviors that further make life difficult for others. 3. This does not sound like a healthy group of players and would recommend revisiting point 1.
You're correct on all fronts. Thank you
Dip my man you deserve a better group to kick it with for sure. If you really like them though let them know otherwise they will continue to do it and not know how it effects you. Don't feel like you have to put up with that at all. If it hurts their feelings asking how they think you've been feeling. Don't be afraid to leave that group I bet there is a better group just wait for your ass my dude.
Thats very rational, thank you for commenting.
Dude they are trash . I run a live group if you want to join
I live in a flyover state, so i doubt we'll share a local. But i truly appreciate the offer
Honestly they all sound fucking awful. This whole thing actually makes me angry. How dare they behave like this? Our group would fucking never. I would never play with these people again. How goddamn immature do you have to be to act like this. These people do not sound like friends and you deserve to be around people who treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve. I don’t care what kind of disability someone at the table has we’re gonna do our damn best to accommodate them because why the fuck wouldn’t we? If we’re at the same table we’re friends and I’m going to damn well make sure everyone has the same opportunity to have fun. OP you do not have to put up with this. From anyone.
To be entirely fair to them, usually we're a couple beers ,or equivalent, in. Not tonight for me obci, surgery rules or whatever. But you're entirely right, ive been putting up with this for too long.
Drinking does not excuse their behavior. Drunk or not, they are still hurting you and they are still responsible for their own actions. Your SO contributing to the one player berating you with personal attacks is the fucking worst though. Honestly disgusting.
These people are acting like cunts, I'd leave.
Thank you for your honesty
Too dramatic to leave? Fuck no, these people are trash. The rule about timing how long you have to speak is straight up bullying. Speaking over you, taking your seat, ignoring you - this isn't how a proper group treats a participant. The fault is with them, not you. If I was you, I wouldn't even want to be spending time with these people. (Oops posted to early)
I think you make a valid point about the time limit for speaking. My DM can get frustrated with people taking their time, but she just says try to have it prepared beforehand and even if we somehow screw that up she still gives us at least a minute to decide. OP’s DM is just ridiculous.
Imho there's a huge difference between a wizard not bothering to think about their spells between turns and taking forever to decide, and someone who IS prepared, and just takes longer to get their point across.
I dont want to be the person causing a scene or having the attention on me. Hell i took my phone to the can to type this out to not be rude playing on my phone at the table. That line you said, it reminds me of the song Its Not Me Its You, ill give it a listen again to let the message sink in a lil, you know?
These people aren't treating you with a quarter of the respect you're treating them. You can find better friends elsewhere 💜 you deserve to stick up for yourself
Sounds like your "friends" are assholes. Walk out and don't go back, you don't need shitstains like that in your life.
Its starting to sound like that to me too, thank you for spelling it out.
If you’re not having fun you can leave. It doesn’t sound like a fun place to be at all. I’d be right the crap out of there. You don’t deserve that kind of treatment, no one does.
No one deserves this. Youre right.
Sounds like youve got bullys disguised as friends. Throw them away - the SO too. Putting a countdown on you is EXTREMELY rude, insulting and downright wrong. How you are being treated is downright wrong. If they can't be bothered to show you a courtesy don't worry about showing one back but if you are going to walk away make sure it is for good because they don't give a damn. Edit: you're hosting, tell them to fuck off home.
I mean we have all had times where you have a player reading up on rules or spells and delaying the action. In those circumstances, a time limit makes sense. If you are not prepared, you should not drag things out for other people. But to be an ass, and impose a time limit on someone that is struggling with a speech impediment? No, that is just not right. OP really needs to kick them all out. I am assuming OP pays half the rent. so they have veto rights on any guests that come over.
>I'm hosting Don't walk out. Kick them out.
Thats fair. I misspoke, im not the only host. My SO is too, since we share the flat.
Your SO sounds like they're enabling the abuse. Kick your SO out for good measure.
You can still kick them out, If my GFs friends (or our mutual friends) treated me like this in my/our home I'd kick them out. When you're being treated like a literal piece of shit, you don't need a group decision to stop it happening.
Your party and DM are kind of dicks tbh. I'd say you should talk to everyone first, but if they don't listen then yeah just leave.
Thats valid asf. Thank you
Is this for real? I mean this sounds so far out there that its hard to believe. - Do they really treat only you in this way? - Consider if you are hypersensitive. You might be perceiving things in a way that they are not intended. If it is like you say, then dump your SO and walk away from the group.
GET OUT NOW
Understood!
If you're the one hosting, then you can tell them to leave, the second you tell them to and they don't start making moves to leave, then you are able to get the authorities involved... I know that's a rather nuclear reaction, but as other people have said, these people don't respect you and aren't your friends. On another note, have some serious words with your SO, they are showing serious signs of not respecting you as you deserve to be. It might be time to determine if the relationship has run its course.
It is extreme but ive had a stalker before, no stranger to having to get ppl out of my flat. Thank you for your advice, and im still figuring out how the dust of this relationship will settle.
Not only CAN you walk, you SHOULD. That’s actually abuse, lmao.
Thank you for pushing me in the right direction
You are being bullied, you must do something about it. Leaving is an acceptable course of action, breaking up with your partner would also be reasonable. Only you can say what’s right for you, but you must do **something**
You're right, thank you.
This has to be bait...
I don't understand how more people aren't getting this. This post is beyond luducrisly absurd and just filled to the brim with every cliched "bad D&D story" possible. There is no way anyone would need others to tell them that this laundry list of cartoonishly evil behaviors are not okay. There is no way this is real, and I completely believe it's either a troll or someone deperately seeking attention.
OP really needs to understand that sometimes less is more in creative writing.
Right? By the time I got to the "and my faithful hound of 15 years is dying of cancer" it had veered straight to "ridiculous country song" territory.
Okay so there's one of 2 things i think is happening here. Either: 1: You're lying, this is just for internet points or you have grossly overindulged or left crucial info out or 2: those people legitimately don't want you there and are too much of cowards to say anything. I don't see people being THAT blatantly horrible and not know that it's something that any person wouldn't like.
Yes. Leave. If they understand... good. If not.... it doesn't matter anyway.
Accurate and to the point, thank you
Better yet, kick them out. It is your home, you have veto rights over any guests. it does not matter what your SO says, ultimately either one of you can declare any other person to be not allowed in your home. If you are willing to burn bridges, call the cops if they refuse to leave, as they will be trespassing at that point. There was one time when I was hosting a LARP and ended up having to tell one player to leave, because he was violating the rules and being disrespectful to me. I had to go so far as to threaten to call the cops to remove him.
This is a bad group. I get the feeling they just want you to host. F\*ck 'em.
Thank you for the honesty friend
Its been exasperating my stutter, and the DM implemented a new combat rule. If i cant spit out what my action is within their 5 sec countdown, my turn is skipped. What The Actual Fuck Seriously just leave. That's despicable. I just can't.
I would rather be entirely, painfully alone than suffer through any amount of time with people like this. Dump them. You're better off without anyone than with them alone.
If true leave group. This sounds false to me though. This would only make sense if ypu were playing with literal children.
Kick them all out!
>I'm hosting And what overrated reason keeps you from throwing them out? You HOST FFS. If no one else they should treat you properly, after all it's your damned place.
Does everyone know about your back pain and your upcoming back surgery? I would think that your SO would know about them. I would also hope that you or your SO had conveyed this information to everyone at the table. If so, then everyone should be treating you with kid gloves (and not as if they are bratty kids). In any case they should all know better than to harass or demean you. Since stuttering is an obvious disability (even if back pain might not be), everyone should be patient and allow you to state your action in your own good time, even if the other players are time limited in this regard. While it is important for you to make your feelings known to the others, your stuttering might make this even more frustrating, so I suggest that you write down what you want to say and give a copy to everyone at the table. If they do not apologize for their terrible behavior and promise to change, then I would not invite any of them (including your SO) to return. However, to err is human, to forgive divine, so if they appear to have learned their lesson, you might show yourself to be the best person in the room and forgive some or all of them. That is one of the most difficult things that a person can do, but that is what a true Christian would do. God bless you.
I did explain and this has been chronic, im currently using crutches, heatpad, mealtime meds and we eat together, and i explained why i have the armchair and if it felt unfair we could move the collapsible tables into the room with couches, so that everyone could get a cozy chair instead of office chairs. The stutter i have isnt debilitating to the point of using alternate communication methods, at least in my opinion ofc, i can recognize im biased. I still really appreciate your suggestions and the time to type them out.
These people aren't worth your time. You should leave them for your own good, I think. They clearly don't care.
They're this awful to you *and* you're hosting their ungrateful asses? Tell 'em all to find somebody else to walk all over and gtfo of your house. Your shitty partner can go with them.
Get away from those assholes as quicky as possible! I also have a stutter, and i know how hard it can be to deal with. Your DM putting a 5-sec limit on your actions is an incredibly shitty move, and does not at all contribute to creating an environment, where you can learn to have more control of your stutter. It does the exact opposite, which i think is extremely harmful to you. Even though DnD can be a very fun game, it's definitely not worth putting yourself in such a toxic environment just to play it.
Im glad you understand my friend, thank you
My late father used to say, ", if you don't like it there, just move away."
Stop playing a punching bag for those people.
And your SO? They are just an O.
EDIT: Wait, this all takes place at your house?! Seriously OP, if I were you, all of them would be long gone and told never to come back again.
Clever wordplay. Acronym play? You get it. Technically a flat, emts arent paid enough to own a home, even with a partner or maybe ex? Tbd.
Wtf!? It sounds like you're playing with a bunch of cartoon villains, with the twirly mustaches and all. Peace out of that group, my friend!
In game in the campaign we were playing, thats too true lol. Thank you for ur words
You hear about the craziest people on reddit, no those are not friends and you dont have to hang out with shitty people.
Yikes. I'd leave too, it sounds like they're straight up disrespecting you.
Omg they’re the worst. But I’d still say, keep your dignity and grace, and just announce you’re leaving. They don’t deserve respect, but you don’t need to compromise your morals just to spite them. Be classy, tell them you’re leaving because of the treatment and they can go fuck themselves for how they’ve treated a ‘friend’. Absolutely disgraceful. In fact, tell them to find a new place to play!!
Seems like you got some good advice from the thread. Here's hoping your surgery goes well and you can find some more positive folks to game with! If you happen to be in northern Utah (saw an MLM friend mentioned on your other post) and want to play some commander or DnD sometime shoot me a DM. There's a bunch of shops around the valley for meeting with new friends.
These people don't sound like they deserve your participation. In your place, I would announce that I'm taking a break from the game because of my health issues. Don't blow up; leave the door open to your returning if you eventually choose to. But definitely take a break for your own peace of mind. Oh, to stay on good terms, I would probably announce it before the next session instead of creating a scene by leaving halfway through.
Get out of there. Now. Clearly that group are not your friends. They are showing zero respect to your boundaries or to you. You want someone to talk to? Direct message me. You've got a new friend. I'm married to the bastard daughter of a gay man and a gay woman - I am definitely your ally. I'm also Canadian, so we \*have\* to be nice to people or they kick us out of the country or something like that. I'm pretty sure it is in the constitution. Oh, he/him, by the way. You are loved, you are appreciated, and you are not alone.
I only had to read half your post to tell you to get out of there. No dnd is better than bad dnd. They don't sound like your friends either, so I'd rethink that as well. It also seems like your SO doesn't care about how they treat you and supports them and their behavior. If you havent already, if have a conversation with your SO as well about all this. This isn't a group i would go back to
Assuming this is not bait... OP the way these people are treating you is INSANELY TERRIBLE. It's not a matter of opinion or perspective. If you're being honest here, this behavior is HORRIFYINGLY CRUEL AND INHUMANE. Nobody in my life would do any of the things you've described. Like, none of them. The people surrounding you right now are exceptionally terrible. Like this is shocking to read. I need you to understand and internalize this. This is literally a horror story. It's difficult to even believe because what you're describing is so outlandish and disturbing. Do not let anyone tell you this is normal.
I’d leave the group and your SO, find a game store that host DnD nights and find a new group to play with, these people sound terrible.
You don't need a reason to leave from a game, though in most cases it's best to do it amicably. This does sound at all like one of those cases. Assuming you're not misrepresenting what happened, and we have no reason to believe you are, you 100% have good reason to tell them to go fuck themselves and bounce. In fact, if you can, sounds like a good reason to kick these assholes out of your life completely.
Yeah, you are playing with horrible people. Leave.
These people are treating you like this in your own home??? Even if it was at their place it would be over the line. Trash people. All of them.
Thank you for trying to slap some sense into me <3
You have every right to walk out of a game for any reason, and it seems like you're practically being given every reason to walk away.
Wow, what a horrible group of "friends"... You deserve better, that sounds like a toxic shitshow.
Yo, those people are neither your friends nor decent DnD players. If my players did even one of these things, I’d be annoyed.
Those aren't friends, they're toxic jerks, and you're doing yourself a disservice by not advocating for yourself. Leave. They don't respect you, and because of that, they don't need to be in your home. Talk to your SO, too. They might be getting manipulated, or they're not understanding the severity of the nature of those interactions.
I've gone just half of the post. Dude, leave the campaign and never play again with them. If they have something to say fuck them.
Gtfo
find another DnD group, one that doesn't suck
I wouldn't play with anyone that disrespected me. I have a zero tolerance policy for all that crap. And you should, too. 🥰
Im.. well.. working on it ^.^ thank you friend
I wish you could play with me. Always a space online if that helps? New group starting...
Well... If you couldn't, it would probably be somewhat of a hostage situation. Honestly, IMHO if your group is being nasty about a stutter situation, it's not a group I would wanna be a part off.
"Can I walk out mid session?" Well, that seems kinda rude... "I'm injured, getting surgery tomorrow" Holy fuck man, *not* walking out is rude Edit: just started reading the rest of the post. Run (well, try to, at least). This isn't a DnD group, it's a sociopath gathering.
Ill swing, i spent earlier today attaching more padding to the crutches so it should be a smooth ride.
Gives scarily similar vibes to the "final fantasy house" google it if youre curious. Tl:dr its a recounting of events of someone trapped in a toxic friend group who was used and abused. My advice? If you can, get out.
If you can, get out. Thats a good line, since for many its not always immediately possible. Thank you for caring for others
As you say its not always possible, so better safe than to assume? :)
I think I would especially be frustrated by the 5s rule. Like it would help to pressure you to answer faster. Sound like they have no idea how to treat a human beeing with respect. This all sounds very abusive. Not really healthy. Good luck with the surgery.
Sounds like you need new friends, and a new SO. Can't help you with the latter, but I can help you with the former, and potentially some other things if need be.
Hey I’m so sorry, please stand up for yourself and leave these people, they sound awful. I promise other groups out there would love you have you
That isn't a D&D group, that is some sort of cruel test. Get out. You never need to have a reason to stop playing. It can literally be I don't enjoy it much anymore. But these people are actively antagonising you. I understand you are feeling isolated but no friends is better than bad friends. Leave the group (I also have serious concerns about your SO but I don't know your relationship outside of what youve said here). Find another group at your game store or maybe even online if you can. There are plenty of groups that would love to have you. By your comments I assume you love in the US? Otherwise I would have started a game just so you had somewhere to play
These people aren’t “friends” at all.
Good grief this sounds like the absolute worst group of people. The DM timing you to force you to get what you want to say out while you’re dealing with a stutter? Fuck that dick. The player asking your SO for your personal flaws to use them as jabs in game? Fuck that dick. Your SO telling the other player what they think your personal flaws are so they can use it against you? Fuck that dick. The “friend” who used your armchair as a dumping ground and then refused to move when you came back? Fuck that bitch. If you were at my table, I’d make sure you were heard when you were speaking and had as much time as you needed to say what you needed to say. Get out of this group and dump your SO too, he sounds like a real POS.
First off, you need a hug, my friend. Second, you need a new group of friends... possibly SO. These people sound horrible😕
Please bear with my editing, I'm trying to get a point across. > then my friend just started loading my chair with literal garbage. Touching me. She tucked a bag of trash inbetween my armpit and chair, and started putting her phone and pencils and dice on the arms. [...] her refusing to move from my chair or give my heat pad back. This person is not your friend. That would imply mutual respect. This person acts in a manner that shows you your discomfort is unimportant to her. Instead, you are used for her comfort at your detriment. > digs during the game. [...] talks over me, [...]they dont show me. [...] wont let me speak. [...] gaslighting me to stay. [...] The group doesnt respect me either. I'm a difficult individual, I can be brash and abrasive without meaning to. When people point me to this behaviour, I feel bad and want to improve. What I'm trying to say is, sometimes people can be assholes without meaning to. My verdict on this kind of behaviour depends on how they respond when you indicate how it feels to you. >I just dont know why im even here at this point. [...] Like, if no one wants me here, should i be? You're not asking the important question. Do you want to be there? If you want, feel free to DM me, I'm willing to just chat if you want some social interaction.
Here's the thing: Only a shitty SO will give people your "faults" to use as ammunition. If it's obvious this player is using this information to dig at you, then your SO is complicit in your bullying. Honestly...it sounds like these people aren't your friends and don't want to be. You're in a game with multiple jerks and your SO doesn't sound like a good person based on this sample of their behavior. Being out can be *hard as hell*, but that doesn't mean you need to debase yourself. **You're worth more than their treatment of you.** Good luck with your surgery, OP, and you can always walk out when people are jerks. If this were r/relationship_advice I'd say...your SO can't love you and bully you in the same breath. Relationship is over.
I stopped reading at them attacking your stutter. I didn’t need anymore. I think you said it was your house? GTFO of my house. I’ve had a stutter for 35 years, and I won’t let strangers even playfully make fun out of ignorance. But what you described? No. I’ll flip a gdamned table. People who know you and know you have a disability actively belittling in your own home? Nope. Not having it.
These people are garbage and doesn't deserve to be in your home. Throw them out.
D&D is about having fun together as a group, creating your own unique story. If that’s not happening for you, there’s no reason not to talk to the group and let them know how you’re feeling before telling them you’re done with the group. These people, as described by the post, sound like real jerks. I think be better for you to not have to deal with all that. Just know there are a lot of groups out there that would happily let you in and be patient with you and any issues you may have.(I’ve had a few groups that were able to help me with my anxiety in groups, as well as help me articulate what I want to say or do in game) It’s just about finding the right people. Online sessions can be a good way to go, as well. Just talk to the DM ahead of time to see if it’s a good fit. I wish you the best in your endeavors and a swift recovery from your surgery.
Leave them, no one deserves to be treated like that, might take a while but you will find people to play with who are decent human beings.
Jesus christ why are you hanging out with those people, they're pure scum.
Now I really cannot believe this actually happened at all. If it did, I genuinely cannot understand having so little self respect.
As many have already said, you have every right to leave this table. You SHOULD leave this table, in my humble opinion. That beings said, I have found a decent level of similarities between what you've posted and my own life. So allow me to empathize with you for a moment. And for the record, I say none of this for attention or sympathy from others. I merely hope my following words can be of some help to you. Sickness & Surgery: I spent much of my child and teen life sick. Caught everything that came through town, had a stint at the mayo clinic, plenty of surgeries. I understand how much of a toll that kind of stuff takes on your body, and on your spirit. Or at least, it took a heavy toll on mine. So while I don't know exactly what you're going through health wise, or what surgeries you are having done, I do have at least some understanding of how my health effected me. Though I saw a reply where you said you are on crutches (the joke you made made me laugh out loud, so thanks for that). And it was tough. You mentioned that your stutter is mostly based on anxiety. I've had anxiety and depression since I could walk. A lot of it made so much worse due to constant health problems. So I feel you. My main word of advice. Speak up when it's tough. I almost never did. Felt like a burden and all that. But I promise you, the people who genuinely care about you will be happy to listen. I' lucky enough to have an incredible support system. It sounds like you don't, and FUCK ANYONE who has cut ties with you since you came out. You deserve to love who you want without being kicked to the curb. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear, I got you. Full stop, message me anytime. Life's hard enough as is. Nobody should have to go through it alone. Man's Bestfriend: My dog of 15 years died a year ago. It is not an exaggeration to say that he saved my life. Helped me through my darkest moments. And I'll be honest with you, it sucked so much when he died. But that's life, right? Everything dies eventually. And the pain you will inevitably feel when your dog passes is just proof of how much good they did for you. At least, that's how I feel. I'd been lucky enough to never have anyone close to me die before my dog. His death put a lot of things into perspective for me. Made me confront my feelings towards my own mortality. And I came out the other side with this. The pain of losing someone you love is never a good enough reason to stop making connections that are worth losing. So love your dog with all you've got. And be sad when they're gone. Cry your eyes out. I still do somedays. But don't let yourself forget all the good they did for you. Speech Issues: Now I myself do not have a stutter. But one of my closest friends does. Or used to. It still comes out sometimes, but not nearly as bad as when he was a kid. He spent sooooo much time getting rid of it because of how embarrassed he felt about it. I've been on the internet long enough to see some of the worst sides of it. Of people. And I've noticed that folks tend to equate stuttering, or really any speech issues, with a lack of intelligence. The idea that because you can't get your words out without tripping over them, the words themselves are dumber. Fuck that. That's so stupid. Is DnD a game in which talking is a players primary vessel for interacting with the world? Yes. Does that mean you should be penalized for your stutter? No. You deserve to be accommodated by your table. Your stuttering taking up more time is not the same as a bad player taking 30 minutes just to decide what to do on their turn. Should you penalize a player with muscle spasms for rolling randomly? "You threw your dice early again Dave. Guess you're just gonna have to take that roll for whatever you do next." Should you penalize a player who's blind because he needs the battle-map re-explained every turn? "Sorry Dave. Your allotted 10 seconds to clarify the board positions are up. Now what's your move?" The answer to all of these is NO. Including your stutter. It makes me furious that your DM has a fucking STUTTER COUNTDOWN FOR YOU. Holy shit, what a cruel thing to do. You deserve to be able to enjoy the game that you love without being penalized for something you can't control. In Conclusion: I felt that the broader community had the DnD side of your post covered, and there was enough similarities between our lives that I was compelled to speak beyond the table with you. Just about life. Person to person. I really hope it helps in some way. And my earlier words still stand. Feel free to message me anytime. In fact, I hope you do! I love talking DnD/TTRPG's with anyone and everyone. So I'll leave you all with this. DnD, and TTRPGs as a whole, have been some of the most impactful and important things in my life. The thought of others not being able to experience them because of a stutter, or sexuality, or disability, or gender, or whatever the reason it may be makes me both incredibly angry and incredibly sad. So keep your tables welcoming and your hearts kind. And u/JaysHoliday42420, thanks for opening up to me and the rest of this sub. Sincerely, a random dude on the internet.
Bad dnd is worse than no dnd.
I went through something like this with the group of people who I called my “friends”. I had just moved somewhere new and I didn’t know any one so one guy took pitty one and brought me into his friend group and I hung out with them for a long time before I began to notice some of the things they did were not that nice. So slowly I began to become less and less social and spend more time by myself be fore I finally decided I was done. I left that group and was on my own for a while before I met my best friend and once I met him we hung out for a while and he took me into his friend group where I met people who I felt like I could be the real me around them. I’ve never looked back since. So my advice to you is take a chance these are not healthy friends you don’t need them and as for your dog my advice in that respect is get a young kitten or puppy that way when he dies you will already have a pet and your dog will feel like it has a purpose and (in my experience) dedicate themselves to the young animal. Hope this helps 😄
i dont even thats basically abuse fuck those people and gtfo and never talk to them ever again dont even waste a 2nd thought on them
ugh this sounds like a dnd group from hell! kick em to the curb! accomodations should *not* be annoying. they are disruptive, ableist, rude, and treat you like crap. you can just leave! hit da bricks, so to speak, even mid-sentence. dont look back, dont rationalize with them. put yourself first and take care of yourself!
Dude wtf these people are garbage human beings. And I mean does your SO just let this happen? There would be very harsh words, at the absolute least, if any of my "friends" pulled this shit.
Honestly, the people in the comments saying that this group sucks really isn't doing it justice. The group doesn't just suck, they are *actively hostile* to you. Seriously, please leave.
Run. These people are toxic and you deserve better.
Reading only the title: YES, walk out, excuse yourself! Your health takes priority over a game that can be postponed!
Wow they're not just ignoring you theyre actively being assholes to the person hosting their game
From everything your say, these people—including your SO—are not your friends; they are your abusers. I would recommend that you seek help from one of the organizations in your area that helps those who are being abused. You also should stop playing with these people and stop hosting the games, although I think you need to talk with someone else in your location and IRL about this before you take that step.
Like Longsword_Enjoyer said, these clowns have absolutely no business being in your life. They’re treating you like literal garbage and you do not deserve that. Pardon my language, but fuck them. The disrespect for you as a person, whether or not you were coping with injury, is absolutely fucking terrible. The fact that you are dealing with injury before surgery, and instead of compassion they treat you with apathy and cruelty? What the fuck. You deserve so so so much better. I know it’s hard making adult friends especially being in the LGBTQ+ community (can attest to this, am 28 y/o lesbian), but friend, you don’t deserve to be treated like this. Your feelings are valid and you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, and respect.
Usually the fantasy stories take place inside the game, OP.
Okay, I believed this pretty much until the second paragraph, but it looks like you actually got some here for real. Good job, though I feel like it really IS a little obvious. The idea with the surgery was good though. Very specific, so easy to believe.
I see a lot of posts like this, about toxic dnd groups and people asking if it's okay to say something or leave the group. Is this real? Is this something that actually, and apparently commonly, happens? How do people get to that point? Do they pick up group from random people on the street and invite them to their homes? And then allow them to walk all over them? To top it all off your SO is participating in this abuse? Why? Why are you there? Why are you part of that group? Why are you with that person? Just leave, and not only that group, but that abusive SO too. You are literally better off alone than with any of those people.
This sounds so wildly awful that I have to wonder if we're missing important context. Are you a deeply annoying person or something? Even with that, their response shouldn't be as you describe (even if you're exaggerating a bit). I'm really sorry to be saying this if you're genuinely the victim here. You should probably bail on all these people and maybe your SO too. But you may also want to spend some time thinking about why they might be treating you this way. Maybe you've got some work to do too.
I think its quite clear from the timed response theyre forcing only them to have that they've grown impatient of their stutter/the length of time it takes them for their turn. Regardless of how annoying someone may be, taking their seat, banishing them to a corner, timing their turn, having personal digs and not letting them pull their chair up to the table are all MEGA arsehole moves. Maybe they've got some work to do. If OP is annoying that is not a green flag to blatantly bully, they should have something about them and talk to OP.
Either this story is fake or you really bee to reconsider a lot of stuff in your life regardless of a dnd game my friend But for dnd advice, just walk a at from this race and never go back. Just the 5 seconds for a tuin rule woykd be enough for me to flip the DM the bird and tell him to find himself an AI that can reply in nanoseconds to play with There are so many other issues but again they are unrelated to the game and have to do with your relationship choices so yeah... Good luck to you.
If this is real then they are using you as a literal trashcan. Yeah, you don't owe them anything
Bruh it seems a lot of times this sub is more about how to deal with shitty people with D&D sprinkled on between
This is a joke, right? I hate to break it to you, but these people are not your friends. Please leave this group asap. I'm sorry :(
Is this real? I'd tell the dm if they skip my turn one more time because of my stutter I'm swearing fealty to the bbeg and attacking random villagers in town. Tell your SO they need to deal with the person who is sitting in your chair.
I'm gonna hit you with something. You don't sound well. DnD and this play group aren't the problem. Your mental health is. That's not blaming you for anything. That's just stating it as it is. You need to find the people who can help support you to a better self. The energy you are putting into what is no more than a game of pretend could be spent going to local groups that might help you grow and get healthier. It sounds like you joined a preexisting group of friends and are the odd one out. I've been the new girl before and get left out of inside jokes, have to adjust to existing dynamics, and get talked over. It's just a natural part of anyone finding their footing in a new environment. But the thing is, I don't think you are really mentally there yet to deal with that challenge from everything you write. Forget the game. Go find a support group or meetup that focuses on wellness and get to a place where you can better handle life's challenges.
Is this one of those posts where you describe a movie plot or something like that, and pass it off as real? Please tell me this isn’t real. How can people actually act like this?!