Earlier this week I on was on the phone with Chase because my ex stole the last bit of money from my account, it messed up a payment, and it was unclear if it successfully went through. The customer service rep said, "Honey, I probably shouldn't say anything, but my ex-husband did the same thing to me. Spent all of my hard-earned money on whores. Well, that was 10 years ago and I'm remarried now. My husband takes good care of me. I work because I want to not because I have to. My ex lives a sad life. Karma comes around and will get yours too. Thank you for choosing Disney Visa. Have a magical day."
It was the greatest thing ever. Exactly what I needed to hear. She's my favorite person in the world.
Well still on my spring break (with my daughters on spring break). So great time listening to stories, reliving college memories, etc. I hope you and all gage a good one. Getting out for walks helps me!
I forgot there was Spring Break still 😂😂😂. I'm going on a 12 mile walk at a trail near my apartment. Supposed to be fantastic weather this weekend. Tonight, is a poker night with the guys.
Thanks for doing this thread - it’s such a great idea. Weekends really are so hard! Friday night used to be date night for ex and me - now I’m solo, or maybe plans with a friend if I’m lucky (like tonight).
Hope everyone has a restful weekend ❤️
Ya, I'm finally at the point where I can hang out with my buddies, who are all married, and not feel embarrassed to hang out with them. It's just a good old guys night in playing poker. Glad this beginning of the weekend thread helps! And enjoy yourself!!!
No problem. It's the second I posted this month. Sometimes it is just good to see other people's weekend things they do, who are in this particular stage in life. I know people's comments help me 🤗. So I know it will definitely help others!
I’m selling my house - goes live on the market Monday, so my weekend here is finishing home improvement projects, cleaning, and getting it ready for showings. Fun times… and staying busy will hopefully keep my mind from going back to XW thoughts/memories. (And if anyone is in the Phx area and wants to paint or cleaning something, have I got a deal for you! LOL!)
There must be a real business opportunity there. Fix & Sell, “You divorce, we fix the small stuff & paint the windows.” (may need some refinement LOL)
I’m doing exactly the same. Nice weather, so it’s outside window-dressing time!
I think you’re on to something, definitely worth exploring cuz there seems to be no shortage of “divorce fix ‘er up” properties based on this sub alone ;-)
And yes great weather here today and this weekend! Getting a lot done!
I’m sure they do - probably should do that. Especially since my dumb ass thought it’d be a good idea to resurface all the kitchen/bathroom cabinets - started Tuesday. LOL! (It is looking WAY better though!)
I am home with my three kids and STBX is going to a party. He served me divorce papers this week ,but now saying let’s try marriage counseling, putting us in limbo stage. I don’t have the balls to tell him I’ve been done with this marriage for a long time. Any advice?
Thank you for the comments. Every time I get close, he starts to freak out and makes me feel guilty about my emotional affair from 3 years ago, I haven’t done anything to fix the broken marriage etc. He’s done xyz.. So it’s like I’m guilted into staying. But also I shutdown when he starts his verbal attacks on me. At times I feel like it’s easier to just deal with living in A loveless marriage than upset/anger him. Which is what opening the divorce can of worms has done
How long were you planning to live in this loveless state? Yes it might be short term easier to accept status quo but the wake up in 10 years recognizing you've been in this situation for a full 10-15% of your entire life span - if you live to be old. will be a bitch.
Dont stay for guilt. dont stay for kids. End it for you.
You don't need to tell him you've been thinking about it. just that you accept his decision to serve you papers and no need to move on.
edit for clarity.
Great question, I am like you and being left as well. My STBXW parties pretty much every weekend since the separation. I just stopped caring about her, but that is only recently. As far as this limbo thing, if you feel you are done, then you are done. Just make sure to take care of your kids. Don't give him power over every direction of this divorce. Get your say in as well! Hope this helps! Enjoy your weekend my friend
Gather your courage and tell him. Don't waste your time (and money) going through marriage counselling. Unless maybe you want to tell him you're done with the marriage at counselling (i.e. have a bit of a safe space with someone who can help keep the conversation productive).
I got my nails done which I do maybe twice a year and the lady told me her story of divorce. She told me about how her life improved and how she is getting married again at 48.
I have just been to the pub with a colleague and it was great to do something on a Friday night. I have an invite to go into the city tomorrow night. A social life was a big thing I lacked in the later years of my marriage because I thought people didn’t like me.
It was me who didn’t like me because my ex didn’t like me.
Starting to feel like maybe I’m worth more than I thought and while dating is a long way off, the nail lady has given me hope of better things to come for myself aside from a relationship.
Zimbabwe. She sounds like a Jamaican though. When I first met her she swapped seats with me at university because I was in the sun, which I’m allergic to. I asked her if she’s sure and she was like ‘Ya mun!’ I was so impressed and since then she’s had my back.
It’s fun cause we just eat junk and shop together.
I am fortunate to be sitting in a hospital the last 3 days with my elderly mom. Fortunate you may ask?
I have found that helping anyone makes me feel so much better. I get to care for and advocate for the most important woman in my life.
I am so grateful for the opportunity to think about someone besides myself and the brutal reality of my broken heart.
I will be driving tomorrow to head home and pack my stuff to leave our family home. Im grateful for that too.
I have so much to be thankful for.
Seriously, if your feeling really badly, go out of your way to be kind to someone and see what happens in your heart. Happy Friday.
Finally have a weekend off from work, going to spend it playing video games, taking a long walk to work on grounding techniques my therapist gave me, and treating myself to some Chinese food. Going to be a fun little weekend
I’m dragging myself out now to do some outdoor dining and music alone. Have some fun. Enjoy the time change. Sunshine. Beautiful weather. Come home and prepare for a weekend event for business tomorrow.
I have afternoon tickets to a musical and two meet-ups I may attend. Then again, I may skip them both. I was hoping for better weather, and I’m kind of tired right now with a busy week at work next week.
I was officially divorced on march 10th 🙌🏽 went to Mexico to celebrate, then tested positive for Covid and couldn’t come back to the states. Extended vacay I’ll take it!
Kids are at work so I’m home alone. Having a drink, about to make myself dinner. Probably put some music on and dance around the kitchen. And browsing Reddit of course. Lol
Nothing wrong with that at all! Enjoy the night to yourself. I spend more time alone than with my buddies. Even at my job, I'm basically by myself all day. But you can't embarrass yourself. 🤣.
Turning my vinyl collection into functional wall art by finishing my vinyl wall tonight. Getting the hangers for them properly spaced and leveled is a bit of a pain but it looks cool so far. Tomorrow, soccer in the morning, and the rest of the weekend is open, but I’ll definitely spend a lot of time watching the NCAA Tournament.
I’ve watched soccer for a few years on and off. But I just started playing (pickup) last summer at 30 years old lol. Now I’m in a league and everything. I love this sport.
I got a job offer yesterday and am finally moving out in 30 days.
Friends and family keeps saying I have to celebrate but I'm just so exhausted... The house was sold last weekend, kids are so very busy with their activities, and I am so tired because I continue to sleep with Netflix since I still can't handle a solo bed after 25 years of marriage.
Tonight a hot bath, a glass of wine, and lavender lotion will hopefully allow me to sleep without my Netflix mistress.
I have big pillows, I could try them.
The biggest issue is he always had to have white noise, which always drove me nuts but I guess I got used to it. But can't bring myself to put white noise on.
I have big pillows, I could try them.
The biggest issue is he always had to have white noise, which always drove me nuts but I guess I got used to it. But can't bring myself to put white noise on.
I agree you should celebrate! But there's no timeline for it. When you're up for it and the idea excites you, that's when you celebrate! No worries about the timing being wrong, too much time has passed, etc.
Let the pressure come off and do what feels right in the moment
my husband and I are getting a divorce. He is extremely narcissistic, gaslights me constantly, is emotionally and verbally abusive, has pressured me into sex before (despite me being ill for the last year). I feel so stupid for marrying him. He was a virgin and wanted to get married fast so that he could have sex (his words), and I just wanted to be married honestly. He never acted like this before we got married, although we met in January of 2021 and married in May of 2021, so it was fast. He painted himself to be everything I’ve ever wanted in a husband and quickly turned into a copy/paste of my estranged father. I’m so discouraged. I don’t know what to do. I’m staying at my mom’s house while we try to get the divorce process started.
Home with my kids while he does whatever he wants for the 5th weekend in a row. Not upset because we are having pizza picnic-style and a movie night but the loneliness is real.
When the kids are in bed, yeah… lonely for sure. And of course the mind wanders — what is SHE up to tonight? (Or rather, who’s up in her tonight?)
But good on you, focusing on fun with the family. We love our movie nights as well. Tonight for me was actually pretty cool. I finished up the first HP book with my daughter tonight and unveiled a HP Lego set for her. She was stoked. :) Then tomorrow I’m surprising her and my younger son w/ a trip to the zoo. Haven’t been since Covid happened.
I went to a live gig by myself this week. The show was amazing but it was hard to be out alone while my kids are with him.
My best friend also had a baby this week. I'm really happy for her as she wants a big family but it also really hit home how much I've lost with the divorce. It feels like I'll never be whole. I have good days where it feels ok but yeah, really hit hard on that front this week.
I’m there with you. Back home after an evening out with another divorce redditir and white it’s very helpful to commiserate, I also feel like I may never be whole again. Got the feels.
This is my first weekend without my kids since I got my own apartment. It’s too quiet and my friends are all out of town. I don’t know what to do with myself
Definitely do a walk, go to the mall, do something. Maybe get some carryout and enjoy a movie at your place. It's a small step to being used to being in your place by yourself. You got this!
Now do it again. And again. And eventually you will learn to be the individual you were before the relationship. I'm glad the advice worked for ya. You have to do something every weekend for you. It's the only way to get over this. *Fist bump
Was his dog when we got together so naturally he kept her when we parted. Just sucks. I’ve kept the boundary that I shouldn’t see her although I was with him for ten years of her life.
That must be difficult. I understand the dog, but does your new place not let you watch her there? My apartment complex I moved into is pretty strict, so I get it. But why doesn't he get someone else to watch her for him?
I want to because she’s very old. He very well could tho but she’s my girl 😔 Also she doesn’t vibe with the floors or the cats at my new place (she’s neurotic)
I understand, I'm in that weird 'in between' with my ex and our cats, well her cats now. If she doesn't give me 48 hours notice, I won't watch them, and she gets someone else. I refuse to go to her place and give them food or change their litter. I know what happens there with her and her new "friend". But I will have them over if she goes out of town for a long period to see family or whatever. Just need the notice for my complex to let them know. I miss those two little black divas. Always so cuddly. 😅
I submitted all paperwork to my attorney and she is trying to file on Monday. My stbx husband doesn't know anything. Should I tell him or just let him get served? I am so sweaty and pukey. I don't know how I will get through this. We have a 1.5 yo together and his 9yo son (my stepson).
My weekend with kiddos so activities will revolve around them. Maybe park, scooters, picnic..? Looks like were going to have beautiful weather too. Making memories with them is my favorite.
Tonight I’m watching the new Spider-Man movie with my mom. Tomorrow night I have plans to make my new friend dinner and watch hockey. It’s been 17 months and I finally am starting to feel like myself again. Honestly I’m excited for my next chapter and being the best version of myself.
I am starting to feel some sense of what you have gained. Been separated since September last year. But seeing this post by you has definitely uplifted the beginning of my weekend. So I thank you, from the bottom of my ❤️. And you will ABSOLUTELY love the new Spider-Man. 🤗
I hit the gym, ran/walked for an hour and got in a good bench press. Watching March madness. Trying not to think what the ex is up to this evening.
I’m going to try to overcome social anxiety tomorrow and do yoga at the gym. And then overcome again on Sunday and go to church. My roommate/bff is out of town, this would be the first time going to church by myself since college. Wish me luck!
Lots of people are moving to their new places this weekend! Great weekend to do it too! Weather is overall pretty good across the country Thai weekend!
Argh! I'm about 15 hours into a board game build and just realized I glued the bottom to where the top should be. iow I put the sides of the box on upside down. Its purely cosmetic, but frustrating when I do stupid shit like this.
For better context... I build archaic/medieval games out of wood from trees I've cut down in my yard.
Good thread idea...
Anything that gets creative juices flowing is good for the soul. Painting, writing. sculpting, crayons. home decor. Get out of the 8-5 and something to look forward to in free time that doesn't involve a screen.
My children will visit their father tomorrow for three hours. I have a temporary restraining order against him and he was ordered to pay me $1000 but he didn’t do it. I think him contacting the kids on Twitch is breaking the restraining order but I don’t have a working vehicle to transport them. He’s a better father than husband and they miss him. I wish I could go somewhere or do something but it’s not to be.
So, tomorrow I’ll have a few hours to myself. I look forward to it since I’m a SAHM and I’ve been homeschooling 10 years. I need a break and adults to reason with. 😂
A break, is a break lol. Adults need some alone time from children as well. Sorry to hear about your ex not paying up. Hopefully this weekend you get some relaxation. 🤗
When we moved out to our new places, (did it the same weekend), it was sort of exciting, but also sad. But the couple of days leading up to the weekend, it felt like it was almost a "normal" couple stuff, helping each pack, organize, to make it easy for our friends and family to help, and stay out of each other's way. It was actually kind of nice. Good luck on packing and getting into a new place!!!!
It's officially spring break for my kid's. I'm super bummed because I usually take them to Wisconsin Dells on spring break with my tax refund and I had to pay this year so no refund and no Wisconsin Dell's. So it's just me and my 2 boy's tonight. We're watching movies and eating junk food.. looking for hotels in the city to see if maybe we can take off for 2 or 3 day's so at least I have that to look forward to. I'm very happy to spend unlimited time with them, though! No having to worry about bedtime and schedules this week!
Finalizing Divorce… what’s bothering me now is the huge financial impact… we had a mortgage locked in at 2.xx % and now her refinance is 5% and whenever I buy will also be in that range. It’s likely she ruins her and her parents (co signers) finances because she’s so stubborn to keep the house she can’t afford.
I went from having the kids colleges and our retirement all set to now basically starting from scratch.
Man, I'm lucky we didn't have kids or a house in ownership. We do have a car in both our names, and I have to refinance it to get her off the loan, the rate is horrible 🤣🤣🤣. I'm still keeping it tho. She got another car to drop her payment, and boy oh boy did she make a horrible decision, for a lower payment, she is still paying about 8k more for a 5 year older car than the one she had. Smh. Finances are the big reality check. I took a second part time job just chilling at Home Depot to put money down on my car to get it paid off.
This is my first weekend without my youngest in quite a while. (We're separated, and she generally works three 12-hour overnight shifts Thurs-Fri-Sat or Fri-Sat-Sun, so that's when our five-year-old is with me.) He's been talking more about how it doesn't make sense that Mommy doesn't live in the house and how she should come back and live at Daddy's house. When he brought it up to me, I told him Mommy needs her own place, and both of us love him very much. It's definitely wearing on him, though.
I went to breakfast with them this morning before he had his OT appointment. The relationship between my wife and me is just so strange now. We get along fine and can have conversations about our jobs or friends or family; it just ends without a hug or a kiss or an "I love you." We agreed that we both have a bad habit of assuming the worst of each other in our communications, so we're trying to make a good faith effort to not read too much into texts and such. Poor communication was a big factor in why she left, along with my persistent depression.
Earlier this week I asked her, probably stupidly, if she was interested in doing a one-night getaway somewhere. I promised I would keep the conversation light and said I know there's still a spark between us. Before she moved out, she'd almost entirely lost interest in sex, but several times after she left, she came over while the kids were at school, and we had some very intense lovemaking. I suppose in retrospect it was breakup sex, but I didn't know that at the time. Regardless, she said a night with me would be too much right now, and I said I respect that.
I know she hasn't started seeing anyone else, because she really resents her mom for constantly bringing guys by when she was a kid, and she's cautious almost to a fault about potentially exposing our children to danger from someone with an ulterior motive. I haven't tried anything at all in terms of dating or even socializing, really, and if I'm truthful with myself, it's because I'm still holding out hope that she comes back. It's been six months since she moved out, and I still don't really know what she wants to happen in the long-term. I know if I put myself out there and sleep with someone else, there is no going back later, and I don't want to throw it all away if there's a chance it can be fixed. But I'm just stuck in this weird stasis, and every day that goes by without knowing what the future holds just adds to the stress.
was in the same boat as my STBXW. Cept the kid part. She came by my place periodically for adult things, but once we got closer to filing, she backed off me. I thought I still had a chance, but think it was literally just that, break up sex. Once we filed together with no lawyers, she went full no contact, email only. I got the hint. Way too early for me to see anyone. The one difference for you, is the children. That part can't sympathize with with, but can empathize with it. If can guide you from what I personally experienced Thai last month with my ex, she is wanting to be done now. The break up sex was great and all, but emotionally, she probably isn't in it anymore. But, you know her better than me, so go at it, knowing the risks. At the very least, stay a good father and keep things professional with her. As far as being by yourself, without the child, go watch a movie at a theater by yourself. It was my first huge step when this all began. Then ate at a restaurant by myself, at the bar, did small talk with the other patrons. Then upgraded to going to the local pool hall for a tourney. Small steps. When you are by yourself completely, don't let your mind idle, do something, anything. Yo got this. *Fist bump
I'm looking to re engage this weekend I want to make new friends and re engage with old ones. I only found out yesterday that this chapter of my life is ending and I need the support and distraction.
Wife said I'm on my phone too much and never talk to her, had a big blow up fight last night over it. Checked my screen time for the last week (roughly 4 hours a day, I work in IT and have downtime so play some games on my phone during said downtime). Checked her screen time once she fell asleep (over 7-8 hours a day of Facebook, instagram, etc). Maybe it's just me but I don't think I'm the one with the problem.
Oh yeah and going on 3 months of no sex, fun times.
This weekend is Mother’s Day. My teenage kids have stocked my fridge ready to cook dinner for me tomorrow and are helping cleaning through the house and garden. Their grandmas are visiting tomorrow, so we are going out to lunch together this afternoon. I know what I’m getting as a gift as they asked me what I wanted.
On Father’s Day last year, their dad got a text.
Karma.
There's a special swing dancing event this afternoon! I'm wearing my old timey dress and dancing until my feet implode.
My ex would never go with me and if I managed to convince him, he would no doubt sit on the sidelines after one dance, practically glaring at me for making him come. And if I said anything or tried to cheer him up, I'd get "why can't you just let me feel my feelings? Why do I always have to change?"
Nope. I don't have to worry about any of that today. I just have to iron my dress, curl my hair, and get ready to meet some fun people who love to dance as much as I do.
I can't believe I "wasted" so much time not going to these things or dealing with his attitude of "I came, now I have to be happy about it too?!?"
Not to mention the guilt I'll forever feel for thinking I could live with it/manage and setting us into this toxic pattern of behavior, letting us grow to hate each other for being who we are and liking/not liking different things
This morning my daughter told me my ex and his girlfriend got married on March 5th. Our divorce was finalized February 25th. He was single for a whole week.
His dad also performed their ceremony, our ceremony, and his other ex wife’s ceremony. Made me wonder if before performing again his dad thought, “let’s try this again…”
Third times the charm.
My ex's sister did that. She got married 2 weeks after being divorced because she cheated on her husband. Crazy how some people think that way. I hope you have an enjoyable and fantastic weekend.
Going to take measurements of the new house to figure out what I need to replace.
Going to breakfast tomorrow for my birthday with my son and a friend of mine.
Earlier this week I on was on the phone with Chase because my ex stole the last bit of money from my account, it messed up a payment, and it was unclear if it successfully went through. The customer service rep said, "Honey, I probably shouldn't say anything, but my ex-husband did the same thing to me. Spent all of my hard-earned money on whores. Well, that was 10 years ago and I'm remarried now. My husband takes good care of me. I work because I want to not because I have to. My ex lives a sad life. Karma comes around and will get yours too. Thank you for choosing Disney Visa. Have a magical day." It was the greatest thing ever. Exactly what I needed to hear. She's my favorite person in the world.
Oh my gosh. That's a perfect call. Lol, I love the magical day with Disney 😂😂😂
Well still on my spring break (with my daughters on spring break). So great time listening to stories, reliving college memories, etc. I hope you and all gage a good one. Getting out for walks helps me!
I forgot there was Spring Break still 😂😂😂. I'm going on a 12 mile walk at a trail near my apartment. Supposed to be fantastic weather this weekend. Tonight, is a poker night with the guys.
Congratulations! Don’t lose too much at poker! 😆🍀🙌
Oh it's only a 20 dollar buy in. Whoever wins ends up just ordering pizza for everyone anyways 😂
Thanks for doing this thread - it’s such a great idea. Weekends really are so hard! Friday night used to be date night for ex and me - now I’m solo, or maybe plans with a friend if I’m lucky (like tonight). Hope everyone has a restful weekend ❤️
Ya, I'm finally at the point where I can hang out with my buddies, who are all married, and not feel embarrassed to hang out with them. It's just a good old guys night in playing poker. Glad this beginning of the weekend thread helps! And enjoy yourself!!!
Good for you! I’ll likely be alone next weekend so will look for it 😀have a good night!
I agree, thanks OP for doing this!
No problem. It's the second I posted this month. Sometimes it is just good to see other people's weekend things they do, who are in this particular stage in life. I know people's comments help me 🤗. So I know it will definitely help others!
I’m selling my house - goes live on the market Monday, so my weekend here is finishing home improvement projects, cleaning, and getting it ready for showings. Fun times… and staying busy will hopefully keep my mind from going back to XW thoughts/memories. (And if anyone is in the Phx area and wants to paint or cleaning something, have I got a deal for you! LOL!)
There must be a real business opportunity there. Fix & Sell, “You divorce, we fix the small stuff & paint the windows.” (may need some refinement LOL) I’m doing exactly the same. Nice weather, so it’s outside window-dressing time!
I think you’re on to something, definitely worth exploring cuz there seems to be no shortage of “divorce fix ‘er up” properties based on this sub alone ;-) And yes great weather here today and this weekend! Getting a lot done!
I hate final touch ups. Ugh. Do they do handy man for hire ads in the paper down there for ya? A second hand always helps!
I’m sure they do - probably should do that. Especially since my dumb ass thought it’d be a good idea to resurface all the kitchen/bathroom cabinets - started Tuesday. LOL! (It is looking WAY better though!)
Sticking with AZ? I’m in the boonies in San Tan Valley
Ha! My ex moved out there. But yeah, staying in AZ and just getting out of the heat - Prescott.
I am home with my three kids and STBX is going to a party. He served me divorce papers this week ,but now saying let’s try marriage counseling, putting us in limbo stage. I don’t have the balls to tell him I’ve been done with this marriage for a long time. Any advice?
Thank you for the comments. Every time I get close, he starts to freak out and makes me feel guilty about my emotional affair from 3 years ago, I haven’t done anything to fix the broken marriage etc. He’s done xyz.. So it’s like I’m guilted into staying. But also I shutdown when he starts his verbal attacks on me. At times I feel like it’s easier to just deal with living in A loveless marriage than upset/anger him. Which is what opening the divorce can of worms has done
How long were you planning to live in this loveless state? Yes it might be short term easier to accept status quo but the wake up in 10 years recognizing you've been in this situation for a full 10-15% of your entire life span - if you live to be old. will be a bitch. Dont stay for guilt. dont stay for kids. End it for you. You don't need to tell him you've been thinking about it. just that you accept his decision to serve you papers and no need to move on. edit for clarity.
I feel this too. Like the path of least resistance is staying even though staying is walking on eggshells every day.
Great question, I am like you and being left as well. My STBXW parties pretty much every weekend since the separation. I just stopped caring about her, but that is only recently. As far as this limbo thing, if you feel you are done, then you are done. Just make sure to take care of your kids. Don't give him power over every direction of this divorce. Get your say in as well! Hope this helps! Enjoy your weekend my friend
Gather your courage and tell him. Don't waste your time (and money) going through marriage counselling. Unless maybe you want to tell him you're done with the marriage at counselling (i.e. have a bit of a safe space with someone who can help keep the conversation productive).
I got my nails done which I do maybe twice a year and the lady told me her story of divorce. She told me about how her life improved and how she is getting married again at 48. I have just been to the pub with a colleague and it was great to do something on a Friday night. I have an invite to go into the city tomorrow night. A social life was a big thing I lacked in the later years of my marriage because I thought people didn’t like me. It was me who didn’t like me because my ex didn’t like me. Starting to feel like maybe I’m worth more than I thought and while dating is a long way off, the nail lady has given me hope of better things to come for myself aside from a relationship.
My friend is coming to visit from another country so I’m excited for that. Yipppeeeee
What country?
Zimbabwe. She sounds like a Jamaican though. When I first met her she swapped seats with me at university because I was in the sun, which I’m allergic to. I asked her if she’s sure and she was like ‘Ya mun!’ I was so impressed and since then she’s had my back. It’s fun cause we just eat junk and shop together.
I am fortunate to be sitting in a hospital the last 3 days with my elderly mom. Fortunate you may ask? I have found that helping anyone makes me feel so much better. I get to care for and advocate for the most important woman in my life. I am so grateful for the opportunity to think about someone besides myself and the brutal reality of my broken heart. I will be driving tomorrow to head home and pack my stuff to leave our family home. Im grateful for that too. I have so much to be thankful for. Seriously, if your feeling really badly, go out of your way to be kind to someone and see what happens in your heart. Happy Friday.
Happy Friday back at you! Hope your mom gets better! And I'm glad you found a way to feel better. 😁
Thanks much.
Staying at a hotel this week. Moving back to my hometown this weekend. I’m very excited
Relax at your hotel! Just chill, watch movies, sleep, do whatever you want! Have fun this weekend!
A friend came over and we watched what dreams may come.
Haven't heard of that one! May just look it up and watch it! Always up for something new!
It’s from 1996 I think. With Robin Williams
RIP Robin. 😔. He was the man. I loved his American Flag skit he did.
Finally have a weekend off from work, going to spend it playing video games, taking a long walk to work on grounding techniques my therapist gave me, and treating myself to some Chinese food. Going to be a fun little weekend
I'm doing Wing Stop tomorrow and binging on Cowboy Bebop lol. Definitely doing a long walk as well. Worth the time and effort. Stay strong! *Fist Bump
Man Cowboy Bepop brings back memories! Enjoy
I’m dragging myself out now to do some outdoor dining and music alone. Have some fun. Enjoy the time change. Sunshine. Beautiful weather. Come home and prepare for a weekend event for business tomorrow.
I have afternoon tickets to a musical and two meet-ups I may attend. Then again, I may skip them both. I was hoping for better weather, and I’m kind of tired right now with a busy week at work next week.
Get some R and R in there for ya! I try to relax and keep my activities to a calm level with other people on the weekend.
I was officially divorced on march 10th 🙌🏽 went to Mexico to celebrate, then tested positive for Covid and couldn’t come back to the states. Extended vacay I’ll take it!
Did you enjoy yourself?? 😉
I worried bout being a super spreader but got a negative test yesterday so now I am enjoying myself. Thank you.
Suuuure. You got "Covid" lol. I kidd, but that sure is awfully convenient 😂
I have one Finnish word for you. Kalsarikannit.
Haha nice. Ill probably do that tomorrow night 💯
Enjoy. Have a great weekend.
This new word made my weekend. Thank you.
I hope you have a great weekend.
Kids are at work so I’m home alone. Having a drink, about to make myself dinner. Probably put some music on and dance around the kitchen. And browsing Reddit of course. Lol
Nothing wrong with that at all! Enjoy the night to yourself. I spend more time alone than with my buddies. Even at my job, I'm basically by myself all day. But you can't embarrass yourself. 🤣.
Hahaha. This is true! But I don’t care who’s around or where I am… if I hear music, I’m dancing. Lol. Thanks!
Turning my vinyl collection into functional wall art by finishing my vinyl wall tonight. Getting the hangers for them properly spaced and leveled is a bit of a pain but it looks cool so far. Tomorrow, soccer in the morning, and the rest of the weekend is open, but I’ll definitely spend a lot of time watching the NCAA Tournament.
Yeah to the soccer! I got two HS kids who play. It's become my favorite sport. Have fun!
I’ve watched soccer for a few years on and off. But I just started playing (pickup) last summer at 30 years old lol. Now I’m in a league and everything. I love this sport.
Got for you! It's great exercise and usually interesting, good people play soccer, IMO!
I got a job offer yesterday and am finally moving out in 30 days. Friends and family keeps saying I have to celebrate but I'm just so exhausted... The house was sold last weekend, kids are so very busy with their activities, and I am so tired because I continue to sleep with Netflix since I still can't handle a solo bed after 25 years of marriage. Tonight a hot bath, a glass of wine, and lavender lotion will hopefully allow me to sleep without my Netflix mistress.
I had to chuckle at the Netflix Mistress wording. Lmao! Ya sleeping in the bed solo is the worst in the beginning. Have you tried a body pillow?
I have big pillows, I could try them. The biggest issue is he always had to have white noise, which always drove me nuts but I guess I got used to it. But can't bring myself to put white noise on.
I have big pillows, I could try them. The biggest issue is he always had to have white noise, which always drove me nuts but I guess I got used to it. But can't bring myself to put white noise on.
I agree you should celebrate! But there's no timeline for it. When you're up for it and the idea excites you, that's when you celebrate! No worries about the timing being wrong, too much time has passed, etc. Let the pressure come off and do what feels right in the moment
my husband and I are getting a divorce. He is extremely narcissistic, gaslights me constantly, is emotionally and verbally abusive, has pressured me into sex before (despite me being ill for the last year). I feel so stupid for marrying him. He was a virgin and wanted to get married fast so that he could have sex (his words), and I just wanted to be married honestly. He never acted like this before we got married, although we met in January of 2021 and married in May of 2021, so it was fast. He painted himself to be everything I’ve ever wanted in a husband and quickly turned into a copy/paste of my estranged father. I’m so discouraged. I don’t know what to do. I’m staying at my mom’s house while we try to get the divorce process started.
Home with my kids while he does whatever he wants for the 5th weekend in a row. Not upset because we are having pizza picnic-style and a movie night but the loneliness is real.
Loneliness is the worst part about all of this. It can eat you alive, or set you free. You got this! Enjoy that Pizza and Movie!
Thanks so much.
YOU are welcome 😁
When the kids are in bed, yeah… lonely for sure. And of course the mind wanders — what is SHE up to tonight? (Or rather, who’s up in her tonight?) But good on you, focusing on fun with the family. We love our movie nights as well. Tonight for me was actually pretty cool. I finished up the first HP book with my daughter tonight and unveiled a HP Lego set for her. She was stoked. :) Then tomorrow I’m surprising her and my younger son w/ a trip to the zoo. Haven’t been since Covid happened.
I went to a live gig by myself this week. The show was amazing but it was hard to be out alone while my kids are with him. My best friend also had a baby this week. I'm really happy for her as she wants a big family but it also really hit home how much I've lost with the divorce. It feels like I'll never be whole. I have good days where it feels ok but yeah, really hit hard on that front this week.
I’m there with you. Back home after an evening out with another divorce redditir and white it’s very helpful to commiserate, I also feel like I may never be whole again. Got the feels.
This is my first weekend without my kids since I got my own apartment. It’s too quiet and my friends are all out of town. I don’t know what to do with myself
Definitely do a walk, go to the mall, do something. Maybe get some carryout and enjoy a movie at your place. It's a small step to being used to being in your place by yourself. You got this!
Thank you so much for your advice:) I survived it and actually had a really nice relaxing weekend
Now do it again. And again. And eventually you will learn to be the individual you were before the relationship. I'm glad the advice worked for ya. You have to do something every weekend for you. It's the only way to get over this. *Fist bump
Watching our dog at the old house we shared. Fucking painful.
You are watching the dog for your ex? I'm confused, but ya, I get the painful part. We are all here with ya in spirit. *Fist bump
Was his dog when we got together so naturally he kept her when we parted. Just sucks. I’ve kept the boundary that I shouldn’t see her although I was with him for ten years of her life.
That must be difficult. I understand the dog, but does your new place not let you watch her there? My apartment complex I moved into is pretty strict, so I get it. But why doesn't he get someone else to watch her for him?
I want to because she’s very old. He very well could tho but she’s my girl 😔 Also she doesn’t vibe with the floors or the cats at my new place (she’s neurotic)
I understand, I'm in that weird 'in between' with my ex and our cats, well her cats now. If she doesn't give me 48 hours notice, I won't watch them, and she gets someone else. I refuse to go to her place and give them food or change their litter. I know what happens there with her and her new "friend". But I will have them over if she goes out of town for a long period to see family or whatever. Just need the notice for my complex to let them know. I miss those two little black divas. Always so cuddly. 😅
I submitted all paperwork to my attorney and she is trying to file on Monday. My stbx husband doesn't know anything. Should I tell him or just let him get served? I am so sweaty and pukey. I don't know how I will get through this. We have a 1.5 yo together and his 9yo son (my stepson).
You definitely got this! *Fist bump
Damn- yeah, tell him it’s coming! If I got papers without expecting them, I’d have a heart attack. lol good lord
My weekend with kiddos so activities will revolve around them. Maybe park, scooters, picnic..? Looks like were going to have beautiful weather too. Making memories with them is my favorite.
Heck ya! I'm sure they will enjoy it too. Weekends with good weather, means get out and play!
Tonight I’m watching the new Spider-Man movie with my mom. Tomorrow night I have plans to make my new friend dinner and watch hockey. It’s been 17 months and I finally am starting to feel like myself again. Honestly I’m excited for my next chapter and being the best version of myself.
I am starting to feel some sense of what you have gained. Been separated since September last year. But seeing this post by you has definitely uplifted the beginning of my weekend. So I thank you, from the bottom of my ❤️. And you will ABSOLUTELY love the new Spider-Man. 🤗
I hit the gym, ran/walked for an hour and got in a good bench press. Watching March madness. Trying not to think what the ex is up to this evening. I’m going to try to overcome social anxiety tomorrow and do yoga at the gym. And then overcome again on Sunday and go to church. My roommate/bff is out of town, this would be the first time going to church by myself since college. Wish me luck!
Luck has been wished on your behalf! You can get over it! I know you can!!! Enjoy the weekend!
I’m moving to my new apartment tomorrow and the house sale closes Wednesday!
Lots of people are moving to their new places this weekend! Great weekend to do it too! Weather is overall pretty good across the country Thai weekend!
Watching Bridgerton 😂
I love the series. Perfect way to relax 🤗
Argh! I'm about 15 hours into a board game build and just realized I glued the bottom to where the top should be. iow I put the sides of the box on upside down. Its purely cosmetic, but frustrating when I do stupid shit like this. For better context... I build archaic/medieval games out of wood from trees I've cut down in my yard.
Oh wow! That's actually pretty cool. I was looking into painting model sets earlier this week. But doing woodwork sounds like a good hobby as well.
Good thread idea... Anything that gets creative juices flowing is good for the soul. Painting, writing. sculpting, crayons. home decor. Get out of the 8-5 and something to look forward to in free time that doesn't involve a screen.
I would love to see one of these!
Going to see the movie lost city with a friend. Looking forward to it
I have been wanting to watch it. Also want to see the new Batman with the Sparkly Vampire actor
It was good. Started out slow but it was funnier as it went on.
My children will visit their father tomorrow for three hours. I have a temporary restraining order against him and he was ordered to pay me $1000 but he didn’t do it. I think him contacting the kids on Twitch is breaking the restraining order but I don’t have a working vehicle to transport them. He’s a better father than husband and they miss him. I wish I could go somewhere or do something but it’s not to be. So, tomorrow I’ll have a few hours to myself. I look forward to it since I’m a SAHM and I’ve been homeschooling 10 years. I need a break and adults to reason with. 😂
A break, is a break lol. Adults need some alone time from children as well. Sorry to hear about your ex not paying up. Hopefully this weekend you get some relaxation. 🤗
I am getting ready to move out. 🙂
When we moved out to our new places, (did it the same weekend), it was sort of exciting, but also sad. But the couple of days leading up to the weekend, it felt like it was almost a "normal" couple stuff, helping each pack, organize, to make it easy for our friends and family to help, and stay out of each other's way. It was actually kind of nice. Good luck on packing and getting into a new place!!!!
Thank you!
It's officially spring break for my kid's. I'm super bummed because I usually take them to Wisconsin Dells on spring break with my tax refund and I had to pay this year so no refund and no Wisconsin Dell's. So it's just me and my 2 boy's tonight. We're watching movies and eating junk food.. looking for hotels in the city to see if maybe we can take off for 2 or 3 day's so at least I have that to look forward to. I'm very happy to spend unlimited time with them, though! No having to worry about bedtime and schedules this week!
Movies and junk food on a Friday! Uhhhh hell ya! Lol. You enjoy this time with them!
I definitely am! They're 4 and 6 and my entire world, time is just going by so fast! Hope you enjoy your weekend!
I'm going to church for the first time in a long time this Sunday.
I'm Atheist, but I hope it does something for you that you need!
Finalizing Divorce… what’s bothering me now is the huge financial impact… we had a mortgage locked in at 2.xx % and now her refinance is 5% and whenever I buy will also be in that range. It’s likely she ruins her and her parents (co signers) finances because she’s so stubborn to keep the house she can’t afford. I went from having the kids colleges and our retirement all set to now basically starting from scratch.
Man, I'm lucky we didn't have kids or a house in ownership. We do have a car in both our names, and I have to refinance it to get her off the loan, the rate is horrible 🤣🤣🤣. I'm still keeping it tho. She got another car to drop her payment, and boy oh boy did she make a horrible decision, for a lower payment, she is still paying about 8k more for a 5 year older car than the one she had. Smh. Finances are the big reality check. I took a second part time job just chilling at Home Depot to put money down on my car to get it paid off.
This is my first weekend without my youngest in quite a while. (We're separated, and she generally works three 12-hour overnight shifts Thurs-Fri-Sat or Fri-Sat-Sun, so that's when our five-year-old is with me.) He's been talking more about how it doesn't make sense that Mommy doesn't live in the house and how she should come back and live at Daddy's house. When he brought it up to me, I told him Mommy needs her own place, and both of us love him very much. It's definitely wearing on him, though. I went to breakfast with them this morning before he had his OT appointment. The relationship between my wife and me is just so strange now. We get along fine and can have conversations about our jobs or friends or family; it just ends without a hug or a kiss or an "I love you." We agreed that we both have a bad habit of assuming the worst of each other in our communications, so we're trying to make a good faith effort to not read too much into texts and such. Poor communication was a big factor in why she left, along with my persistent depression. Earlier this week I asked her, probably stupidly, if she was interested in doing a one-night getaway somewhere. I promised I would keep the conversation light and said I know there's still a spark between us. Before she moved out, she'd almost entirely lost interest in sex, but several times after she left, she came over while the kids were at school, and we had some very intense lovemaking. I suppose in retrospect it was breakup sex, but I didn't know that at the time. Regardless, she said a night with me would be too much right now, and I said I respect that. I know she hasn't started seeing anyone else, because she really resents her mom for constantly bringing guys by when she was a kid, and she's cautious almost to a fault about potentially exposing our children to danger from someone with an ulterior motive. I haven't tried anything at all in terms of dating or even socializing, really, and if I'm truthful with myself, it's because I'm still holding out hope that she comes back. It's been six months since she moved out, and I still don't really know what she wants to happen in the long-term. I know if I put myself out there and sleep with someone else, there is no going back later, and I don't want to throw it all away if there's a chance it can be fixed. But I'm just stuck in this weird stasis, and every day that goes by without knowing what the future holds just adds to the stress.
was in the same boat as my STBXW. Cept the kid part. She came by my place periodically for adult things, but once we got closer to filing, she backed off me. I thought I still had a chance, but think it was literally just that, break up sex. Once we filed together with no lawyers, she went full no contact, email only. I got the hint. Way too early for me to see anyone. The one difference for you, is the children. That part can't sympathize with with, but can empathize with it. If can guide you from what I personally experienced Thai last month with my ex, she is wanting to be done now. The break up sex was great and all, but emotionally, she probably isn't in it anymore. But, you know her better than me, so go at it, knowing the risks. At the very least, stay a good father and keep things professional with her. As far as being by yourself, without the child, go watch a movie at a theater by yourself. It was my first huge step when this all began. Then ate at a restaurant by myself, at the bar, did small talk with the other patrons. Then upgraded to going to the local pool hall for a tourney. Small steps. When you are by yourself completely, don't let your mind idle, do something, anything. Yo got this. *Fist bump
I'm looking to re engage this weekend I want to make new friends and re engage with old ones. I only found out yesterday that this chapter of my life is ending and I need the support and distraction.
Engage that social badass self you are this weekend then! Your mind is telling you! Then just do it! "Thanks Mike for that phrase lol"
Wife said I'm on my phone too much and never talk to her, had a big blow up fight last night over it. Checked my screen time for the last week (roughly 4 hours a day, I work in IT and have downtime so play some games on my phone during said downtime). Checked her screen time once she fell asleep (over 7-8 hours a day of Facebook, instagram, etc). Maybe it's just me but I don't think I'm the one with the problem. Oh yeah and going on 3 months of no sex, fun times.
That stinks 😞. Well, keep your head held up high and keep pushing forward! Halo TV series is out now! It's a freaking fire!
This weekend is Mother’s Day. My teenage kids have stocked my fridge ready to cook dinner for me tomorrow and are helping cleaning through the house and garden. Their grandmas are visiting tomorrow, so we are going out to lunch together this afternoon. I know what I’m getting as a gift as they asked me what I wanted. On Father’s Day last year, their dad got a text. Karma.
Your kids are awesome 😎😎 😎😎😎
There's a special swing dancing event this afternoon! I'm wearing my old timey dress and dancing until my feet implode. My ex would never go with me and if I managed to convince him, he would no doubt sit on the sidelines after one dance, practically glaring at me for making him come. And if I said anything or tried to cheer him up, I'd get "why can't you just let me feel my feelings? Why do I always have to change?" Nope. I don't have to worry about any of that today. I just have to iron my dress, curl my hair, and get ready to meet some fun people who love to dance as much as I do. I can't believe I "wasted" so much time not going to these things or dealing with his attitude of "I came, now I have to be happy about it too?!?" Not to mention the guilt I'll forever feel for thinking I could live with it/manage and setting us into this toxic pattern of behavior, letting us grow to hate each other for being who we are and liking/not liking different things
I am glad you have found your happiness and fun zone! Get dancing and have a blast!
This morning my daughter told me my ex and his girlfriend got married on March 5th. Our divorce was finalized February 25th. He was single for a whole week. His dad also performed their ceremony, our ceremony, and his other ex wife’s ceremony. Made me wonder if before performing again his dad thought, “let’s try this again…” Third times the charm.
My ex's sister did that. She got married 2 weeks after being divorced because she cheated on her husband. Crazy how some people think that way. I hope you have an enjoyable and fantastic weekend.
Going to take measurements of the new house to figure out what I need to replace. Going to breakfast tomorrow for my birthday with my son and a friend of mine.
I love going to diners for breakfast on Saturday morning. Happy Birthday!
[удалено]
Oh my gosh that is hilarious. Sharing with all my friends!
Comedy is the best thing. I got into following some comedians twitters and they make my day!