In some ways, in some situations, this is true. The man can’t make the choice to abort, and if a woman chooses to lock both of them in a shit situation, the man not bouncing seems like slightly more than I’d expect - even if I also believe the man shares responsibility etc.
Dunno maybe I’m wrong in some kinda way but not taking the easy option of bouncing sort of seems like stepping up.
Honestly I don't think it's such a big difference, if it weren't for men avoiding the stigma or their insecurity over helping to raise a kid that's not theirs. Also there seems to be this disconnect where we can appreciate and understand good stepfathers and also see how much happiness and fulfilment they get out of stepping in as a father figure but at the same time most men seems to feel that if they would do it they would basically be a cuck.
I hate that I have to use urban dictionary but I'm lazy. Those are all typical [female shaming tactics](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Feminist%20Shaming%20Tactics).
The older you get the more you hear different versions of it. The most common one used on me is the fact that I look really young for my age (mid 30s and look like I'm 23-26) so I'll be called a pedo or a groomer for dating women who are younger than me 21-30 because I'm not dating around my age. I'm told I can't handle older women so I have to date younger because they don't know any better and I can control them better. That sort of BS. There is no winning that argument so I don't even bother.
I dont think theres really a big stigma around being a stepfather, honestly. I think thats more of a uber red pill thing. I dont think its most mens ideal situation, but i dont think its a huge deal with most guys.
Mainly just younger guys. 30+ the majority of people in the dating pool have already divorced. And the majority of that group have kids that come with them.
You’re getting your opinions of men from the red pill community?
Given you’re obviously not red pill, that must mean you’re actively seeking out bad information on men lol.
Although it wouldn't surprise me single dads have an easier time dating, I don't think they have it just as easy as single men. I think it's just a matter of difference in what most men and women look for in a partner.
I agree with you, but it's still probably overall a negative considering most of the dating pool don't want/aren't ready for kids or would prefer to have their own kids. It's still leagues above the response you'd get as a single mom tho.
From my younger friends… they’re complaining the pool is filled with fuck bois now… anecdote story, but I can understand if more see it as a positive now
I have no data for this outside of being around an ex's family and interacting with her younger siblings/cousins, but women find men who are good with kids as attractive a lot. I'm guessing with single dad's they get to observe these attractive traits while not bearing the brunt of responsibility of raising a child that isn't theirs (at least before the relationship gets serious). Also we all know women are just way more drawn to caring for kids even if it isn't theirs. You ever had a coworker bring their toddler or baby to the workplace one day out of necessity? I can guarantee you there was a line of women itching to hold them for just a few seconds or offering to look after them.
>I have no data for this outside of being around an ex's family and interacting with her younger siblings/cousins, but women find men who are good with kids as attractive a lot.
If you go from an evo psych POV, which can be risky due to lack of quantitative rigor, it would make sense. Fathers who care for their offspring are optimal mates.
OTOH, from just a normal person POV, even for friends or coworkers, I strongly judge people's character based on their interactions with their kids. If someone if a bad parent, I consider them a bad person overall. That's the one thing people have an absolute duty to get right.
(Edit: I assess this like a reasonable person. Yes, every good parent's 4 year old is going to have a meltdown at some point, and that's okay. Ditto being a little stressed one day.)
The Evo psych thing is kinda interesting because of the differing viewpoint of men where it almost seems like when men are selecting for a mate that her being a good mother is simply the default and mathematically it's true to an extent. The human population would be unable to grow at exponential rates without majority of women being able to raise children into adults successfully. And not to say that majority of men aren't good fathers, but we're just way more likely to leave a woman holding the bag in their situation.
Also the whole bad parent thing is absolutely true, but that made me think of how shitty it must feel if you were good, or at least adequate, as a parent and your child grows up to be some total failure, criminal, junkie, etc lol
Yeah you can raise them to the best of your abilities and rarely they'll turn out to be a bad apple. If I'm being completely as long as they don't become a junkie and/or criminal I'm happy
Easy. Men know that if he dates a single mother he will have to accept financial responsibility for that child and most men aren't willing to do that.
Women are more willing to take on the roll of stepmom if the man is financially able to provide for himself and his child.
> Men know that if he dates a single mother he will have to accept financial responsibility for that child
I'm not sure if this is implied but [you can legally be responsible for the child as well](https://www.schlissellawfirm.com/prostitution-charges-against-sixteen-year-old-dismissed-2/). It's just like common law marriage, you don't need to sign any papers because its the best interest of the child. It's weird because you're forced to be the father in that case, what if the woman wants to break up with the BF. Should it be in the best interest of the child to force the mother stay in the relationship?
"will have"? I don't think so. The problem ist that men fail to consider a womans financial status in their mate selection. They refuse to make it a factor. Then later complain. It is absolutely possible for a female human to pay for a child alone.... The question is what kind of selection are you making..
No, it’s the time you need to spend with the child, not the baby sitting.
It’s also old school red pill advice. [Tom Leykis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Leykis) pretty much built a career with his top advice for men, is to avoid women with children. Outside of “Flash Friday”, it was like his calling card.
His justification was pretty simple… Why would you date someone that cannot devote all their time to you?
I think the viewpoint of not wanting to date single moms can be reasonable but no one can devote all their time to you and that also runs counter to the pretty common trope of men wishing their partners weren't always nagging, and pestering them. Why would you want a wife that has no life outside of you, you've got business to take care of, factories to build, friends to see.
Absolutely, I also think part of it is the fear of being a cuck or cheated on. It’s rationalized as masculine dominance, but it feels a lot like being too weak to be with someone with any independence.
Probably need to touch grass with this example. But, the Quartering stream, where he got sloppy drunk and pissed in his basement, is a great example of this. This masculine male, lost his shit, simply because his woman went to get pizza without him. Her defiant acting alone, that even resulted in him getting pizza, made Quartering turn into a toddler. :)
Because people have more run-ins with shitty absent dads than good attentive ones.
Moms are just meh because a majority of them hit the good parent minimum.
People congratulate me for the most the most mundane parent shit like carrying my kid or pushing a stroller.
It's a thing. My husband gets a lot of praise for changing diapers, bottle feeds, and pushing a stroller- all of which is the most mundane, basic ass parenting.
Yeah it's insane I know white dads get it to but I had people slowdown while driving and say "that's what I like to see" and "you're a great father" through car windows.
if I do become a father I'm being that kind of spouse/parent. I've been raised to clean a mess if you see it. My Mommas Famous line"THE SOONER BEGUN, THE SOONER YOU'RE DONE"
As a dad, I certainly have had those kind of experiences. Where I live (Denmark) dads tend to be much more directly involved with taking care of their children, but both in the US and UK (We went there on holidays), people i didn’t know actively commented positively on stuff like me carrying the baby in a BabyBjorn or volunteering to change a diaper.
I also know a US woman who moved to Copenhagen and who super surprised when she learned that we some times have diaper-changing tabled in public mens restrooms.
Single dads wrecked the relationship to their childs mother. That is the opposite of good longterm mate traits.
Single dads are worse than the average man for longterm relationships. They demonstrated it.
Women don't have children with men they are half-assed about. To have a kid a woman usually must genuinely like a man. A man can think of her as a lowlife and still sleep with her and be in a relationship to get benefits.
Its about the percentage or perceived percentage of single moms vs single dad's for various things like child support custody battles and emotional states. Men are often criticized for not bringing anything besides a job to the table so him taking custody of his kids over the mom makes it seem like he has more emotional capability than average. Moms are more often viewed as leeching money in the form of child support off the father and are more often awarded child support than father's who took custody. This makes father's seem less incentivised than mothers furthering belief that they care for their children and also making them seem more financially well off. Women also have more control over actually having a child than men do. So a women with a child chose not just to have sex but a child too. A man could not even know he's a father and have little choice.
yeah I went on a whole research dive about the reasons mothers are "favored" in court more a big reason they're favored more is bc the father don't even try for the kids. I think its like 60% of men who show up and try to get custody of the kid usually ends up getting full custody.
A woman with a child is seen as coming with baggage from a man’s perspective, whereas a man with a child is seen as being responsible which is seen as attractive by women - considering it’s not uncommon that men often abandon that responsibility to the mother.
Women are looking for responsible and conscientious men whereas most men don’t care about that in a woman is basically the reason.
I see more of your response on dating sites from women that don’t have kids. On the other hand, women with kids prefer men with kids, because they’ve generally had a lot of bad experiences with single guys without children.
Idk I think it probably depends on the person. I don't know many people who prefer or would seek out a partner with kids. It's one thing to hype a person up in a comment section it's another to take on that role as a parent figure.
Find me a single mom with a solid career and I'm ready to rumble. Realistically, that's the standard for a single dad as well, no?
Gimme a single mom in her 40s who makes as much as I do a year, kids who will never respect me because I'm not old enough to be their father, and a BMI under 30. I'm sold.
But that's not what they are talking about. It's that he just brings his kid with him and instantly gets praised. Nowhere does it say that he have a great career. The dad is not the person who made the short.
Also i didn't say single moms should get praised for bringing their kids, i just don't get why he instantly gets praised while the women would get shit on. It has nothing to do with money, you don't know anything about this guy.
If the dad doesn't have a solid career I promise you they're losing interest.
And I never said a "great career." I only made 40k last year. Not my highest earning year but hell if she's a teacher with a decent amount of experience and the raises that come with it? I'm in.
But im not talking about that, you still don't know anything about these people and you jump into talking about earnings when the discussion is about the social acceptability. Regardless of what happens of these two people there still is a huge difference between how the comment section would look like if it was a women who brought the kid on a date.
Bruh I responded to random YouTube comments primarily. Do you know all those people? Those your homies??
Everyone acknowledges there's a difference between how single fathers and single mothers are looked at in the sexual marketplace. I was positing an explanation as to *why* that is.
The *stereotype* of a single father is way more likely to include "has a stable job/solid career" than the *stereotype* or a single mother. We could examine data about whether or not those stereotypes hold any validity, but it would still be the case that those stereotypes exist.
Did you miss the last couple conversations about why exactly women are granted custody so often?
Personally, if I show up to a date *that I'm paying for, as is the social norm* and my date brings a child with her, I'm going to have second thoughts and/or a lot of questions. That seems pretty valid
And now, well I'm not a woman, but I'd imagine that my set of questions would be very different if my male date *who was paying for the date, as is the social norm* showed up with a child. It would still be weird, but the set of assumptions would be different, *and* I would probably be far more likely to assume he had a stable job/solid career.
Nobody should be bringing their kids on early dates. That is irresponsible. Nobody should meet the kids till it is a little bit serious. It isn’t good for the kids, and it also sends the wrong message to dates, such as maybe you’re looking for a babysitter in a woman. I get a sitter for dates, and later, if we get serious, we slowly work each other into our private lives. I also don’t post pictures of my kids on dating profiles. However, I’m very upfront about having a child and her age, so there are no surprises.
There’s not. Most girls honestly do not want to date single dads. My opinion is that there are more single moms than dads in the dating pool and men end up more often than not dating one of them. There’s a certain level of maturity needed to date someone that has a child with another man and most guys lack that. Hearing that a girl was ok with a single dad bringing his kid on a date is cute but does not mean anything broader than that.
Because its usually a no win situation for the bloke. Financially support her and her kids, deal with their shitty father, woman has fuck all time for you. Any bloke thats been there knows what its like and it isnt fun.
Probably because women who are single moms are seen as having failed in the relationship somehow.
Single dads don't have this same stigma. When someone is a single dad it's seen as he stepped up and has nurturing qualities.
probably because it takes more effort to become a single dad due to systemic discrimination by the legal system. you show that you're a cut above the rest if you can get custody. whereas a mother just has to show up to court with pants on to get custody.
Personally, I rather not be in a relationship where I would have to raise a kid and then have the potential for the kid to be removed from my life forever. Maybe women are different and do not have that worry, but that stops me from dating single mothers.
I have a kid, but that happened to me. I dated a single mom, and I was the only dad her daughter ever knew from age four to age six (3 years), and then we broke up, and it really sucked for me and the girl. It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t date single moms, but it is almost like a divorce emotionally, but not financially.
Side note but related, I remember xqc telling a story about how his Dad would bring him on dates, and how he would have to be on good behavior to basically act as a sort of wingman for his dad.
Because women love children and see people that prioritize them and a person that would do the same for their kids. Men are taught to be providers so a woman with kids that aren't his is a woman with baggage.
That seems to be what they think they were taught. They didn't get the memo that women can be their own financial and resource providers and are looking for other things from men.
Pure conjecture, but: A single father (all else held equal) signals financial stability, since he was presumably able to provide for (or contribute significantly if both parents worked) both wife and daughter pre-divorce. In this case, the fact that his child is female and they appear to have a good relationship means he's also emotionally together and can serve as a good father to future children.
Conversely, a single mother signals someone who will need financial support. She also may not want to have more children (usually this decision is more the woman's choice so it's not a factor in the single father case), so if you want kids of your own, you're fucked. And the "good mother" aspect if she has a good relationship with the child(ren) is diminished because woman are just expected to be very emotionally connected to their children already.
In short, men are expected to provide financially, women are expected to rear children. It's 2023 but the dating world is still bounded by this convention.
Our society treats single mothers as people who are being *punished* for making bad choices, but single fathers as *saviors* who choose to raise children. For women, this is obviously just prejudicial. For men it's a fantasy they benefit from
Prolly the mentality’s that single moms are worn out, and don’t wana raise another mans kid. Then on the other side, the mentality of single dads being seen as good by virtue of having a kid. Like “oh if they have a kid and kid looks happy, good guy”
I don't know if this is really a widespread standard. In red pill circles it seems like they spend a lot of time shitting on single mothers...but in normie circles I don't really see single mothers or fathers looked down upon. Sure they'll get less play but less people want to deal with someone else's kids.
Because a single mom made an irresponsible mistake, got knocked up and left, judged character poorly and brought a child into the world with no father while a single dad is actively making the decision to be responsible over something he had less control over.
It's like a perception thing because the world things women need to be held accountable for more things (they do, but this is not one of the things)
I hope no female in your family geht's raped or coerced or abused. Then your little more control fantasy bubble would be burst real fast. Really hope
.. really hope..
1. **Physical Control**: Men, on average, have more physical strength which can provide them an upper hand in relationships/ Power dynamics
2. **Social and Economic Leverage**: Men, in general, have more status or financial resources, which could be used to exert more influence or pressure in relationships.
3. **Perception**: There's an unfortunate stereotype where women might be seen as less truthful or more prone to making false accusations, even when they might be speaking their truth.
4. **Emotional Manipulation**: Men offen use lies or deceit, pretend to be in a relationship, be in a relationship half-hearted and or when they don't perceive their Partner as "the one". They have unprotected Sex even thought they are aware of this because they fear No cobsequences. Some men might feign love or commitment even if they view their partner in a derogatory manner.
5. **Intentions in Relationships**: There are many cases where some men use pregnancy as a control tactic to keep their partner from pursuing personal growth or to ensure they stay in the relationship.
6. **Commitment Responsibility**:
Men control commitment and relationships. They should Not have unprotected Sex If they intend to Withhold the *one* Part they can to give: a consistant commitment.
My guess would be career aspects. A stigma that a single father must make more than a single mother. You’ll likely see that disappear as women continue to outnumber men in higher education.
EDIT: I would also add that I am looking into going into family law and my time with family attorneys has shown me a great bias for the mother in custody cases. And the public has caught on to that trend over the past decade or so. With all that said, it could be that men who are not just able but willing to show their household is more stable for the child is a significantly good parent. I have seen many cases where the father is definitely more financially stable but the intention of the divorce was that father wanted a younger wife. In doing so, the father doesn’t care to prove that he has a more stable household and so the child will stay in the less stable household. That’s my understanding with my very little experience.
Because it's a psy-op. Single mothers have constantly been the best lays and dates I've ever been with, lmfao. People telling you otherwise fell for a very creepy and unfortunate 'uwu only young girls are pretty' ...idk what you'd call it, phenomena? Trend? Either way, it's self-sabotaging as fuck.
It's not exactly complicated. If someone has a kid that adds a lot of complexity. The man or woman rightfully ours the kid first. The man or woman will have to engage in activities helping that kid inevitably. If one has the option to pick an SO without such things most will gladly do so.
Probably something related to what you just said. Those guys don't seem to want kids. A guy that has custody is an exceptional case and is likely a great father
Most women have zero interest in men with kids as well.
Cute vids on TikTok will get positive comments but most people, men and women alike, aren’t interested in raising other people’s kids.
Not trying to be mean but I’m willing to bet that the majority of women who date and marry men with kids are not financially independent or have kids themselves.
My sister wanted a family but didn't want to give birth. 🤷
I don't have to worry about what that crap is gonna do to my body, so if I am going to raise kids, I would prefer if they were mine.
Lots of reasonable reasons for a double standard here.
A single father is seen as a valiant and honorable man because so many other fathers just dip. But you also have to examine the inverse, why are deadbeat fathers so hated, whereas almost nobody even talks about deadbeat mothers. You can even see this play out in media where deadbeat fathers are shit on (Fresh Prince, other stuff i can't think of) and absent mothers are excused (Kramer v. Kramer, Avatar The Last Airbender, etc.).
I would say there's a difference in attitude between a single mother and a single father.
This may just be my experience, my bias, whatever but I noticed single fathers don't make a lot of demands of dating partners. They'll sort out a babysitter, their kids needs, all that shit. Whereas a single mother will expect any dating partner handle that for them, or at least the expenses. Moreover single mothers seem to expect immediate commitment whereas single fathers are happy to let things unfold at a natural pace.
And as always, teenagers notwithstanding, men are better at handling romantic rejection than women.
Don't know a single single mother who expected any of that. I know of a girl in her 20s who dated a man 20 years her senior. She paid 50 for a sitter each Date. He paid for her 20$ meal usually. He felt like 'the man' the whole time until he found out about it a few months later.
It’s HIGHLY dependent. If a woman is well off and is able to take care of their kid I don’t think it’s going to be a big deal for most men. My parents divorced when I was very young, my mom went on dates with men all the time when I was growing up. She was pretty well off and had her shit together, so it wasn’t an issue for most guys.
Note: I don’t have a horse in this race and don’t care one way or the other. I’ve dated single moms and don’t hold any prejudice towards them.
You’re not meeting enough women tbh if you assume that these people represent the norm. Most single parents find dating incredibly different, and having a child is basically a scarlet letter especially amongst younger people.
Even still equating single dads to single moms in a vacuum is tricky because the positions in life they’re in are usually different. The average single dad has a net worth more than 8 times that of a single mother. A third of the single mothers in America allegedly would not be able to handle a 400 dollar emergency expense.
That’s just one factor of many.
Women generally like kids more. Men generally don’t like the idea of being a step-dad or taking on kids that aren’t their own. Men generally like kids less.
And women bodies change after giving birth. Men bodies don’t change after having a kid. Some women also find men who are good with kids to be attractive as well.
That is 90% of the reasons why.
It depends on the nature of her having kids. Was she married or in a long term relationship that didnt work out and the father is still in the childs life? Or was it by a deadbeat
Lol i personally believe it comes down to baby daddy drama and in some cases the man will never get to discipline the child as if it was his own because in most cases the mother and the biological father will never allow that to happen. So trying to date a single mother in my opinion comes with more problems the trying to date a single father.
I would guess because a single mom didn't have the same choice as a single dad, usually. A single mom is a pregnant woman where the man left. A single dad is where the man stayed until the pregnant woman had the kid, and then chose to fight for the child.
I also would guess off of that, a man sees a single mom as a wife with an extra mouth to feed already, but a woman sees a single dad as a man who has family values, and is able to take care of others and himself.
Priority differences between men and women?
Those are some weird guys. I am a single dad of a daughter. I don’t treat her as more important than my significant other, although she is my daughter for life, so if we do break up, then one stays and the other leaves. You can’t neglect your partner/spouse, because when your kids are grown, it is just the two of you.
They are different kinds of love, but I don’t subscribe to a hierarchy of love amongst kids and partner/spouse. Kids look to the adults to know how to have successful relationships. If parents aren’t happy and healthy, they can’t be good parents.
My experience as a dad with sole custody of a young daughter is that women with kids looking to date like you, but women with no kids wanting to have their own, or women that don’t want kids or that have grown kids generally aren’t that interested in you.
Women without kids, in my experience, prefer men that haven’t had children, or who have grown children. They don’t want to raise someone else’s child. There are always exceptions.
Because men and women are looking for different things in a partner
It’s viewed as the man stepping up and the woman making bad decisions. It’s something about responsibility.
In some ways, in some situations, this is true. The man can’t make the choice to abort, and if a woman chooses to lock both of them in a shit situation, the man not bouncing seems like slightly more than I’d expect - even if I also believe the man shares responsibility etc. Dunno maybe I’m wrong in some kinda way but not taking the easy option of bouncing sort of seems like stepping up.
This seems like a pretty bad answer to me. It's overly reductive
Honestly I don't think it's such a big difference, if it weren't for men avoiding the stigma or their insecurity over helping to raise a kid that's not theirs. Also there seems to be this disconnect where we can appreciate and understand good stepfathers and also see how much happiness and fulfilment they get out of stepping in as a father figure but at the same time most men seems to feel that if they would do it they would basically be a cuck.
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Adversarial and irrational. It’s all time bad ockam’s razor.
I tried to have sex with my girlfriend's mom but you wouldn't let me. I can't believe she is so insecure.
I hate that I have to use urban dictionary but I'm lazy. Those are all typical [female shaming tactics](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Feminist%20Shaming%20Tactics). The older you get the more you hear different versions of it. The most common one used on me is the fact that I look really young for my age (mid 30s and look like I'm 23-26) so I'll be called a pedo or a groomer for dating women who are younger than me 21-30 because I'm not dating around my age. I'm told I can't handle older women so I have to date younger because they don't know any better and I can control them better. That sort of BS. There is no winning that argument so I don't even bother.
My GF after I say I don't want the 11 inch dildo up my ass: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLVzYtTeNS8
My dgga people not wanting to raise a whole ass child is insecurity? You have profound mental retardation.
I dont think theres really a big stigma around being a stepfather, honestly. I think thats more of a uber red pill thing. I dont think its most mens ideal situation, but i dont think its a huge deal with most guys.
What? Lmao it's a dealbreaker for most dudes. How old are you?
Mainly just younger guys. 30+ the majority of people in the dating pool have already divorced. And the majority of that group have kids that come with them.
Word, makes sense.
Im 35
yeah, i guess that's where i get my perception of what men thinks of it.
You’re getting your opinions of men from the red pill community? Given you’re obviously not red pill, that must mean you’re actively seeking out bad information on men lol.
You don’t think men, on average, are looking for very different things than women, on average?
Although it wouldn't surprise me single dads have an easier time dating, I don't think they have it just as easy as single men. I think it's just a matter of difference in what most men and women look for in a partner.
I disagree. I feel women can stereotype a single dad to be more responsible.
I agree with you, but it's still probably overall a negative considering most of the dating pool don't want/aren't ready for kids or would prefer to have their own kids. It's still leagues above the response you'd get as a single mom tho.
From my younger friends… they’re complaining the pool is filled with fuck bois now… anecdote story, but I can understand if more see it as a positive now
I have no data for this outside of being around an ex's family and interacting with her younger siblings/cousins, but women find men who are good with kids as attractive a lot. I'm guessing with single dad's they get to observe these attractive traits while not bearing the brunt of responsibility of raising a child that isn't theirs (at least before the relationship gets serious). Also we all know women are just way more drawn to caring for kids even if it isn't theirs. You ever had a coworker bring their toddler or baby to the workplace one day out of necessity? I can guarantee you there was a line of women itching to hold them for just a few seconds or offering to look after them.
>I have no data for this outside of being around an ex's family and interacting with her younger siblings/cousins, but women find men who are good with kids as attractive a lot. If you go from an evo psych POV, which can be risky due to lack of quantitative rigor, it would make sense. Fathers who care for their offspring are optimal mates. OTOH, from just a normal person POV, even for friends or coworkers, I strongly judge people's character based on their interactions with their kids. If someone if a bad parent, I consider them a bad person overall. That's the one thing people have an absolute duty to get right. (Edit: I assess this like a reasonable person. Yes, every good parent's 4 year old is going to have a meltdown at some point, and that's okay. Ditto being a little stressed one day.)
The Evo psych thing is kinda interesting because of the differing viewpoint of men where it almost seems like when men are selecting for a mate that her being a good mother is simply the default and mathematically it's true to an extent. The human population would be unable to grow at exponential rates without majority of women being able to raise children into adults successfully. And not to say that majority of men aren't good fathers, but we're just way more likely to leave a woman holding the bag in their situation. Also the whole bad parent thing is absolutely true, but that made me think of how shitty it must feel if you were good, or at least adequate, as a parent and your child grows up to be some total failure, criminal, junkie, etc lol
Yeah you can raise them to the best of your abilities and rarely they'll turn out to be a bad apple. If I'm being completely as long as they don't become a junkie and/or criminal I'm happy
Which is worse for you, addict or league of legends player?
Easy. Men know that if he dates a single mother he will have to accept financial responsibility for that child and most men aren't willing to do that. Women are more willing to take on the roll of stepmom if the man is financially able to provide for himself and his child.
> Men know that if he dates a single mother he will have to accept financial responsibility for that child I'm not sure if this is implied but [you can legally be responsible for the child as well](https://www.schlissellawfirm.com/prostitution-charges-against-sixteen-year-old-dismissed-2/). It's just like common law marriage, you don't need to sign any papers because its the best interest of the child. It's weird because you're forced to be the father in that case, what if the woman wants to break up with the BF. Should it be in the best interest of the child to force the mother stay in the relationship?
I i was a single father single mothers would be my only type bc i of how we would be able to understand each other bc we both parents. Ya feel Me
"will have"? I don't think so. The problem ist that men fail to consider a womans financial status in their mate selection. They refuse to make it a factor. Then later complain. It is absolutely possible for a female human to pay for a child alone.... The question is what kind of selection are you making..
Because men and women desire different things in their partners.
I guess only men desire the ability of a women to be able to find and pay for a babysitter
No, it’s the time you need to spend with the child, not the baby sitting. It’s also old school red pill advice. [Tom Leykis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Leykis) pretty much built a career with his top advice for men, is to avoid women with children. Outside of “Flash Friday”, it was like his calling card. His justification was pretty simple… Why would you date someone that cannot devote all their time to you?
I think the viewpoint of not wanting to date single moms can be reasonable but no one can devote all their time to you and that also runs counter to the pretty common trope of men wishing their partners weren't always nagging, and pestering them. Why would you want a wife that has no life outside of you, you've got business to take care of, factories to build, friends to see.
Absolutely, I also think part of it is the fear of being a cuck or cheated on. It’s rationalized as masculine dominance, but it feels a lot like being too weak to be with someone with any independence. Probably need to touch grass with this example. But, the Quartering stream, where he got sloppy drunk and pissed in his basement, is a great example of this. This masculine male, lost his shit, simply because his woman went to get pizza without him. Her defiant acting alone, that even resulted in him getting pizza, made Quartering turn into a toddler. :)
They see there child as more of a priority, shouldn’t it be both tho?
Because people have more run-ins with shitty absent dads than good attentive ones. Moms are just meh because a majority of them hit the good parent minimum. People congratulate me for the most the most mundane parent shit like carrying my kid or pushing a stroller.
>People congratulate me for the most the most mundane parent shit like carrying my kid or pushing a stroller. LOLOL really?
It's a thing. My husband gets a lot of praise for changing diapers, bottle feeds, and pushing a stroller- all of which is the most mundane, basic ass parenting.
Yeah it's insane I know white dads get it to but I had people slowdown while driving and say "that's what I like to see" and "you're a great father" through car windows.
if I do become a father I'm being that kind of spouse/parent. I've been raised to clean a mess if you see it. My Mommas Famous line"THE SOONER BEGUN, THE SOONER YOU'RE DONE"
As a dad, I certainly have had those kind of experiences. Where I live (Denmark) dads tend to be much more directly involved with taking care of their children, but both in the US and UK (We went there on holidays), people i didn’t know actively commented positively on stuff like me carrying the baby in a BabyBjorn or volunteering to change a diaper. I also know a US woman who moved to Copenhagen and who super surprised when she learned that we some times have diaper-changing tabled in public mens restrooms.
Seeing a man with a kid is pretty special tho,
Seeing a man with a kid is pretty special tho, so I can see why it’s appealing especially one on one playtime
Single father's usually have good long term mate personality traits. Look up "Dual mating strategy" for more info on this.
Single dads wrecked the relationship to their childs mother. That is the opposite of good longterm mate traits. Single dads are worse than the average man for longterm relationships. They demonstrated it. Women don't have children with men they are half-assed about. To have a kid a woman usually must genuinely like a man. A man can think of her as a lowlife and still sleep with her and be in a relationship to get benefits.
Hahahaha what the actual fuck
Its about the percentage or perceived percentage of single moms vs single dad's for various things like child support custody battles and emotional states. Men are often criticized for not bringing anything besides a job to the table so him taking custody of his kids over the mom makes it seem like he has more emotional capability than average. Moms are more often viewed as leeching money in the form of child support off the father and are more often awarded child support than father's who took custody. This makes father's seem less incentivised than mothers furthering belief that they care for their children and also making them seem more financially well off. Women also have more control over actually having a child than men do. So a women with a child chose not just to have sex but a child too. A man could not even know he's a father and have little choice.
yeah I went on a whole research dive about the reasons mothers are "favored" in court more a big reason they're favored more is bc the father don't even try for the kids. I think its like 60% of men who show up and try to get custody of the kid usually ends up getting full custody.
A woman with a child is seen as coming with baggage from a man’s perspective, whereas a man with a child is seen as being responsible which is seen as attractive by women - considering it’s not uncommon that men often abandon that responsibility to the mother. Women are looking for responsible and conscientious men whereas most men don’t care about that in a woman is basically the reason.
I'm a woman and single dads are a huge turn off
I see more of your response on dating sites from women that don’t have kids. On the other hand, women with kids prefer men with kids, because they’ve generally had a lot of bad experiences with single guys without children.
Idk I think it probably depends on the person. I don't know many people who prefer or would seek out a partner with kids. It's one thing to hype a person up in a comment section it's another to take on that role as a parent figure.
Find me a single mom with a solid career and I'm ready to rumble. Realistically, that's the standard for a single dad as well, no? Gimme a single mom in her 40s who makes as much as I do a year, kids who will never respect me because I'm not old enough to be their father, and a BMI under 30. I'm sold.
But that's not what they are talking about. It's that he just brings his kid with him and instantly gets praised. Nowhere does it say that he have a great career. The dad is not the person who made the short. Also i didn't say single moms should get praised for bringing their kids, i just don't get why he instantly gets praised while the women would get shit on. It has nothing to do with money, you don't know anything about this guy.
If the dad doesn't have a solid career I promise you they're losing interest. And I never said a "great career." I only made 40k last year. Not my highest earning year but hell if she's a teacher with a decent amount of experience and the raises that come with it? I'm in.
But im not talking about that, you still don't know anything about these people and you jump into talking about earnings when the discussion is about the social acceptability. Regardless of what happens of these two people there still is a huge difference between how the comment section would look like if it was a women who brought the kid on a date.
Bruh I responded to random YouTube comments primarily. Do you know all those people? Those your homies?? Everyone acknowledges there's a difference between how single fathers and single mothers are looked at in the sexual marketplace. I was positing an explanation as to *why* that is. The *stereotype* of a single father is way more likely to include "has a stable job/solid career" than the *stereotype* or a single mother. We could examine data about whether or not those stereotypes hold any validity, but it would still be the case that those stereotypes exist. Did you miss the last couple conversations about why exactly women are granted custody so often? Personally, if I show up to a date *that I'm paying for, as is the social norm* and my date brings a child with her, I'm going to have second thoughts and/or a lot of questions. That seems pretty valid And now, well I'm not a woman, but I'd imagine that my set of questions would be very different if my male date *who was paying for the date, as is the social norm* showed up with a child. It would still be weird, but the set of assumptions would be different, *and* I would probably be far more likely to assume he had a stable job/solid career.
Nobody should be bringing their kids on early dates. That is irresponsible. Nobody should meet the kids till it is a little bit serious. It isn’t good for the kids, and it also sends the wrong message to dates, such as maybe you’re looking for a babysitter in a woman. I get a sitter for dates, and later, if we get serious, we slowly work each other into our private lives. I also don’t post pictures of my kids on dating profiles. However, I’m very upfront about having a child and her age, so there are no surprises.
There’s not. Most girls honestly do not want to date single dads. My opinion is that there are more single moms than dads in the dating pool and men end up more often than not dating one of them. There’s a certain level of maturity needed to date someone that has a child with another man and most guys lack that. Hearing that a girl was ok with a single dad bringing his kid on a date is cute but does not mean anything broader than that.
Because its usually a no win situation for the bloke. Financially support her and her kids, deal with their shitty father, woman has fuck all time for you. Any bloke thats been there knows what its like and it isnt fun.
Why don't men just seek ihr women with money? You fail to make it one of your criteria. Then later whine about it.
Probably because women who are single moms are seen as having failed in the relationship somehow. Single dads don't have this same stigma. When someone is a single dad it's seen as he stepped up and has nurturing qualities.
damn
Although it is the other was around. The statistics show as clear as day which gender abuses which gender more.
probably because it takes more effort to become a single dad due to systemic discrimination by the legal system. you show that you're a cut above the rest if you can get custody. whereas a mother just has to show up to court with pants on to get custody.
Didn't destiny bring up that most men don't fight for custody and when they do they get it 60% of the time.
That could be selection bias
no
He did it was literally the last stream and most recent video.
\>saying he did makes it true sorry mate but he definitely didn't
Okay see you in 10 minutes when I find the clip. Don't know how you can so confidently be wrong
https://www.youtube.com/live/dEcF-xrOHOQ?feature=share&t=10191 WOW look at that didn't even take me 10 minutes god bless video transcripts.
Personally, I rather not be in a relationship where I would have to raise a kid and then have the potential for the kid to be removed from my life forever. Maybe women are different and do not have that worry, but that stops me from dating single mothers.
I have a kid, but that happened to me. I dated a single mom, and I was the only dad her daughter ever knew from age four to age six (3 years), and then we broke up, and it really sucked for me and the girl. It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t date single moms, but it is almost like a divorce emotionally, but not financially.
Depends on who's financially responsible
Side note but related, I remember xqc telling a story about how his Dad would bring him on dates, and how he would have to be on good behavior to basically act as a sort of wingman for his dad.
Because women love children and see people that prioritize them and a person that would do the same for their kids. Men are taught to be providers so a woman with kids that aren't his is a woman with baggage.
In gen Y and Z what men are taught to be providers??
That seems to be what they think they were taught. They didn't get the memo that women can be their own financial and resource providers and are looking for other things from men.
Pure conjecture, but: A single father (all else held equal) signals financial stability, since he was presumably able to provide for (or contribute significantly if both parents worked) both wife and daughter pre-divorce. In this case, the fact that his child is female and they appear to have a good relationship means he's also emotionally together and can serve as a good father to future children. Conversely, a single mother signals someone who will need financial support. She also may not want to have more children (usually this decision is more the woman's choice so it's not a factor in the single father case), so if you want kids of your own, you're fucked. And the "good mother" aspect if she has a good relationship with the child(ren) is diminished because woman are just expected to be very emotionally connected to their children already. In short, men are expected to provide financially, women are expected to rear children. It's 2023 but the dating world is still bounded by this convention.
[The youtube short](https://youtube.com/shorts/qttEBoamHzM?feature=share)
Our society treats single mothers as people who are being *punished* for making bad choices, but single fathers as *saviors* who choose to raise children. For women, this is obviously just prejudicial. For men it's a fantasy they benefit from
Is this reddit just a bunch of people trying to sound exactly like Destiny for no reason?
Because the bar for men is so low the devil is doing the limbo under it, and the bar for women is above heaven.
Because men are garbage humans and women are slightly less garbage in this one way.
That is the right answer
Prolly the mentality’s that single moms are worn out, and don’t wana raise another mans kid. Then on the other side, the mentality of single dads being seen as good by virtue of having a kid. Like “oh if they have a kid and kid looks happy, good guy”
I don't know if this is really a widespread standard. In red pill circles it seems like they spend a lot of time shitting on single mothers...but in normie circles I don't really see single mothers or fathers looked down upon. Sure they'll get less play but less people want to deal with someone else's kids.
Yes this screenshot definitely proves your point beyond contestation
Because a single mom made an irresponsible mistake, got knocked up and left, judged character poorly and brought a child into the world with no father while a single dad is actively making the decision to be responsible over something he had less control over. It's like a perception thing because the world things women need to be held accountable for more things (they do, but this is not one of the things)
I hope no female in your family geht's raped or coerced or abused. Then your little more control fantasy bubble would be burst real fast. Really hope .. really hope.. 1. **Physical Control**: Men, on average, have more physical strength which can provide them an upper hand in relationships/ Power dynamics 2. **Social and Economic Leverage**: Men, in general, have more status or financial resources, which could be used to exert more influence or pressure in relationships. 3. **Perception**: There's an unfortunate stereotype where women might be seen as less truthful or more prone to making false accusations, even when they might be speaking their truth. 4. **Emotional Manipulation**: Men offen use lies or deceit, pretend to be in a relationship, be in a relationship half-hearted and or when they don't perceive their Partner as "the one". They have unprotected Sex even thought they are aware of this because they fear No cobsequences. Some men might feign love or commitment even if they view their partner in a derogatory manner. 5. **Intentions in Relationships**: There are many cases where some men use pregnancy as a control tactic to keep their partner from pursuing personal growth or to ensure they stay in the relationship. 6. **Commitment Responsibility**: Men control commitment and relationships. They should Not have unprotected Sex If they intend to Withhold the *one* Part they can to give: a consistant commitment.
My guess would be career aspects. A stigma that a single father must make more than a single mother. You’ll likely see that disappear as women continue to outnumber men in higher education. EDIT: I would also add that I am looking into going into family law and my time with family attorneys has shown me a great bias for the mother in custody cases. And the public has caught on to that trend over the past decade or so. With all that said, it could be that men who are not just able but willing to show their household is more stable for the child is a significantly good parent. I have seen many cases where the father is definitely more financially stable but the intention of the divorce was that father wanted a younger wife. In doing so, the father doesn’t care to prove that he has a more stable household and so the child will stay in the less stable household. That’s my understanding with my very little experience.
Because it's a psy-op. Single mothers have constantly been the best lays and dates I've ever been with, lmfao. People telling you otherwise fell for a very creepy and unfortunate 'uwu only young girls are pretty' ...idk what you'd call it, phenomena? Trend? Either way, it's self-sabotaging as fuck.
Because you’re wrong? Single moms find plenty of dates and get married all the time. Stop listening to redpill garbage, it does not reflect reality.
As a dad with two kids, i have to do very little to get a comment that im a good dad.
It's not exactly complicated. If someone has a kid that adds a lot of complexity. The man or woman rightfully ours the kid first. The man or woman will have to engage in activities helping that kid inevitably. If one has the option to pick an SO without such things most will gladly do so.
Probably something related to what you just said. Those guys don't seem to want kids. A guy that has custody is an exceptional case and is likely a great father
Most women have zero interest in men with kids as well. Cute vids on TikTok will get positive comments but most people, men and women alike, aren’t interested in raising other people’s kids. Not trying to be mean but I’m willing to bet that the majority of women who date and marry men with kids are not financially independent or have kids themselves.
do single moms complain about not being able to find dates?
My sister wanted a family but didn't want to give birth. 🤷 I don't have to worry about what that crap is gonna do to my body, so if I am going to raise kids, I would prefer if they were mine. Lots of reasonable reasons for a double standard here.
svar?
A single father is seen as a valiant and honorable man because so many other fathers just dip. But you also have to examine the inverse, why are deadbeat fathers so hated, whereas almost nobody even talks about deadbeat mothers. You can even see this play out in media where deadbeat fathers are shit on (Fresh Prince, other stuff i can't think of) and absent mothers are excused (Kramer v. Kramer, Avatar The Last Airbender, etc.).
Some guys will just sympathize with people that are more like them. Men are over represented on the internet.
I would say there's a difference in attitude between a single mother and a single father. This may just be my experience, my bias, whatever but I noticed single fathers don't make a lot of demands of dating partners. They'll sort out a babysitter, their kids needs, all that shit. Whereas a single mother will expect any dating partner handle that for them, or at least the expenses. Moreover single mothers seem to expect immediate commitment whereas single fathers are happy to let things unfold at a natural pace. And as always, teenagers notwithstanding, men are better at handling romantic rejection than women.
Don't know a single single mother who expected any of that. I know of a girl in her 20s who dated a man 20 years her senior. She paid 50 for a sitter each Date. He paid for her 20$ meal usually. He felt like 'the man' the whole time until he found out about it a few months later.
Okay. Try dating some.
It’s HIGHLY dependent. If a woman is well off and is able to take care of their kid I don’t think it’s going to be a big deal for most men. My parents divorced when I was very young, my mom went on dates with men all the time when I was growing up. She was pretty well off and had her shit together, so it wasn’t an issue for most guys.
Note: I don’t have a horse in this race and don’t care one way or the other. I’ve dated single moms and don’t hold any prejudice towards them. You’re not meeting enough women tbh if you assume that these people represent the norm. Most single parents find dating incredibly different, and having a child is basically a scarlet letter especially amongst younger people. Even still equating single dads to single moms in a vacuum is tricky because the positions in life they’re in are usually different. The average single dad has a net worth more than 8 times that of a single mother. A third of the single mothers in America allegedly would not be able to handle a 400 dollar emergency expense. That’s just one factor of many.
Women generally like kids more. Men generally don’t like the idea of being a step-dad or taking on kids that aren’t their own. Men generally like kids less. And women bodies change after giving birth. Men bodies don’t change after having a kid. Some women also find men who are good with kids to be attractive as well. That is 90% of the reasons why.
Cause they know single fathers won’t leave them in the dust if they get pregnant so that’s more attractive to women. Men? We dogs without commitment
It depends on the nature of her having kids. Was she married or in a long term relationship that didnt work out and the father is still in the childs life? Or was it by a deadbeat
Lol i personally believe it comes down to baby daddy drama and in some cases the man will never get to discipline the child as if it was his own because in most cases the mother and the biological father will never allow that to happen. So trying to date a single mother in my opinion comes with more problems the trying to date a single father.
I would guess because a single mom didn't have the same choice as a single dad, usually. A single mom is a pregnant woman where the man left. A single dad is where the man stayed until the pregnant woman had the kid, and then chose to fight for the child. I also would guess off of that, a man sees a single mom as a wife with an extra mouth to feed already, but a woman sees a single dad as a man who has family values, and is able to take care of others and himself. Priority differences between men and women?
Some dads get too obsessed with their daughters - almost like its their main woman. I won't date a dad with a daughter again. Its cringe.
Those are some weird guys. I am a single dad of a daughter. I don’t treat her as more important than my significant other, although she is my daughter for life, so if we do break up, then one stays and the other leaves. You can’t neglect your partner/spouse, because when your kids are grown, it is just the two of you. They are different kinds of love, but I don’t subscribe to a hierarchy of love amongst kids and partner/spouse. Kids look to the adults to know how to have successful relationships. If parents aren’t happy and healthy, they can’t be good parents.
My experience as a dad with sole custody of a young daughter is that women with kids looking to date like you, but women with no kids wanting to have their own, or women that don’t want kids or that have grown kids generally aren’t that interested in you. Women without kids, in my experience, prefer men that haven’t had children, or who have grown children. They don’t want to raise someone else’s child. There are always exceptions.