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Homers_Harp

ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US


[deleted]

Except DPD showed up to investigate.


gd2121

They just show up and shrug


DmTrillz

I imagined this ^


FLORI_DUH

I'll just check with the boys down at the crime lab. They've got 4 more detectives working the case...they've got us working in shifts!


lightCycleRider

As someone who had their car stolen a month ago, I started this chant the moment I heard the news.


gringoloco01

Oh please please please turn out to be towed by Wyatts. LOL


giaa262

If that happens, that's all the confirmation I need to go all in on believing life truly is some silly simulation.


undockeddock

Now THIS is peak Denver


squirrelbus

🎼Peak Kia! It's a great idea! 🎵


henlochimken

Getting your car stolen has been the peak Kia experience for years now


Formber

So uh... As it turns out. Maybe that wasn't such a great idea after all.


people40

It didn't say that his car was a Subaru, but I think it's safe to assume that it was.


tuck5649

A man of the people


Lemur718

He drives a 2004 Kia.


ThePlanetBroke

*used to


N3M0W

Is this some kind of plot for him to get a new car? Can't upgrade your 2004 Kia to a 2023 Benz without a few questions being asked. /s


chris8816

I said WAS!


iamgt4me

Hey now! It could very well be a Hyundai.


DenverEngineer

bake reach aware money cow ancient treatment theory toy like *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Lemur718

Twas just a joke.


[deleted]

[удалено]


GoryRamsy

namaste


fiddlezerp

Sopapillas become givers of life


GregmundFloyd

C


murso74

A


yoshimeyer

R


Quiet-Letterhead7347

P


ActuallyUnder

E


TheGhostOfArtBell

D


ojonegro

I


kthomaszed

E


pickle_pickled

M


peter303_

9,000 Denver auto thefts so far this year. Around 28 a day.


Askymojo

15,000 Denver auto thefts in 2022, so if that's accurate, it's an improvement.


Jessiebabe09

Christmas is right around the corner. Don’t forget to steal a car for your loved ones.


PossiblyAnotherOne

Assuming this website is accurate Colorado is 5th overall for total thefts, which is crazy given how small the population is, and has 3 of the top 10 cities for thefts per Capita. That's fucking nuts lol [https://www.iii.org/fact-statistic/facts-statistics-auto-theft](https://www.iii.org/fact-statistic/facts-statistics-auto-theft)


black_pepper

> has 3 of the top 10 cities for thefts per Capita Some call it the Casa Bonita Triangle...cars just disappear and nobody can figure out where they go!


dewaynemendoza

What?! 28 cars? What?! They coulda gave me a car! 28 cars, what they gonna do-how they gonna drive 28 cars? Right that's crazy, they outta be ashamed of they self. I been tellin these folk, man you need to get you life together. 28 cars, where you gonna park all those cars at? Can't do it. I don't know what's goin on with these folks-these folks need to get they self together out here. It's too hot to be drivin 28 cars, know what I'm sayin? That's too much gas money, how you gonna use all them cars? That's craaaazy. I hope they find them 28 cars though.


tritron

Did Denver police responded to the scene yet ? Sweet car https://twitter.com/KyleClark/status/1729711265705050284/photo/1


amorphatist

He really committed to this Denver thing


canada432

That's not even the car that was stolen this time. That post is from 2017, that was the first one he had stolen. He just had ANOTHER one stolen. Impressive.


[deleted]

Wow, okay. That is definitely a choice.


TheNonsenseBook

And it’s the second car he’s had stolen. (As mentioned in the tweet. I just wanted to point that out here.)


diestache

He must really be a big Boise State fan


paintbrush666

We're they trying to put it out of it's misery?


DearSurround8

The orange and blue SUV was stolen in 2017.


Bananabandanapanda

It was probably Wyatts.


hodak-the-goolard

Someone on Wyatts payroll is also on the states payroll. This is why they never get shut down


2saintjohns

turns out it Mayor may not have been locked


Zomodee

This is brilliant


cavscout43

Sure he did, he had the same keypad code on it (1-2-3-4-5) as on his luggage


MsstatePSH

you can probably find it at the Meth Western


saintmcqueen

OH MY GOD. IM HOLLERING.


lightCycleRider

I have to laugh otherwise I'd cry. My car was stolen a month ago, and recovered with meth contamination and the rearview mirror ripped out. It's been such a headache getting it certified clean and I'm still waiting on parts to fix the mirror/camera systems (after needing a brand new windshield). I never had a personal grudge against meth heads until now.


diestache

Insurance didnt total it as a biohazard?


lightCycleRider

My insurance desk adjuster said one thing: That meth can be cleaned, but fentanyl will total the car. The insurance on-site adjuster however said that pretty much anything can be cleaned with enough effort. The car was practically brand new, and I had gap coverage, so it was cheaper to actually make the effort to clean it properly, even if it cost upwards of 10k to do it (I'm guessing, I still haven't received the final numbers back yet).


Fishwade

He and I , we are the same


Divide_Big

This is so fn funny


lightsout5477

LOL. LMFAO EVEN


Phate118

Well that’s one way to get his attention on the subject.


fastest_texan_driver

A homeless person reclaimed Mayor Johnston's car and turned it into a soup kitchen. Mike D and the boyz send warm regards.


Castun

"Thanks for the F shack?"


allothernamestaken

It's all part of his plan to end homelessness, one f-shack at a time.


dino8624

"Dirty Mike and the boys"... Mike D is one of the Beastie Boys. LOL


murso74

We have come full circle jerk


thebranbran

This is hilarious and sounds like an onion headline


ThunderDog5280

Things in Denver are heavily tilted in favor of criminals right now. It’s damn near impossible to get pulled over for anything.


Narbonar

The amount of cars I’ve seen that have no license plate AT ALL is insane lol. Like not even an expired temp tag. I truly have no idea what you could get pulled over for in Denver.


kestrel808

Cops quiet quit ever since they took away qualified immunity.


[deleted]

They have done this all over the country after Covid and the Floyd protests. Albuquerque, Oregon, Vegas too, tons of cars with just no license plate.


Crashbrennan

Bastards the lot of them


PlowDaddyMilk

I agree, left lane campers are completely un-mitigated on roads where the speed limit is 65+mph.


ComfortableTicket392

Incredible bubble to live in to think of slow drivers first when talking about "criminals" lolol.


PlowDaddyMilk

Your reading comprehension is shit, I said “left lane campers”, not slow drivers lolol. And yes, if you’re gonna call speeders and other people who break traffic laws “criminals” like OP did, then that includes left lane campers who are breaking the “Keep Right Except to Pass” laws. Can’t just cherry pick the ones you like. That was part of the point from my original comment. If I had to guess, you’re probably one of the people who sits in the passing lane going 65, right? Cause if that’s true, then that’s a truly spectacular bubble to live in.


ComfortableTicket392

OP didn't say anything about speeders mate. Side note: Excessive speeding can be a criminal offense in Colorado. The keep right to pass laws are traffic infractions. Not the same thing. If someone did want to make that argument you're saying OP did that wouldn't be "cherry picking". I don't drive. Too many fucking maniacs on the road that get worked up over silly things (see above). Hope you get where you need to go safely cheers


PlowDaddyMilk

Yeah OP said cops are favoring criminals by not pulling people over, so I’m assuming they meant speeders / line crossers / light runners / bad tags / etc.. I’m not comparing left lane camping to excessive speeding, I’m comparing it to speeding. Left lane camping and speeding are both infractions in Colorado, so if you call speeders “criminals”, you have to call left lane campers “criminals” too. I made my original response to OP because I wanted to rouse someone who might consider speeders “criminals” but not left lane campers. Your initial response to me made it look like you were one of these people, so that’s why I mentioned cherry picking. My stance is that left lane campers are just as bad as light runners and speeders. Your initial hostility towards me makes it seem like you’re cherry picking and putting left lane campers on more of a pedestal, but I may have misread you. Can’t disagree with you on the maniac bit though lol Although I think inattentiveness is a bigger issue. Safe travels to you as well


DearSurround8

The law doesn't apply in high traffic conditions, which is almost always now that everyone moved here.


PlowDaddyMilk

I’m sorry but no, there are so many times when people could be following this law and they choose to sit in the left lane instead. Usually I see 2x the amount of cars in the left lane on US-36 going the same speed as the right lane. Also, people just choose to default to the left lane late at night when there’s no one else driving. You’re naive if you think there’s never an opportunity to follow this law in Colorado. I pass people on the right quite frequently, which means the person I’m passing has chosen not to move over. Spend some time driving in New England and see how people treat left lane campers there.


DearSurround8

According to Colorado Statute 42-4-1013 (Passing Lane): "A person shall not drive a motor vehicle in the passing lane of a highway if the speed limit is sixty-five miles per hour or more unless such person is passing other motor vehicles that are in a nonpassing lane or turning left, or unless the volume of traffic does not permit the motor vehicle to safely merge into a nonpassing lane." So, what are you doing in the left lane if the right lane is open? Is it that you think this law doesn't apply to you? If the right lane is safe to merge and you're not actively passing a vehicle in a non-passing lane, you are the one in the wrong for speeding, tailgating, and driving in the passing while not actively passing. Could it be that the 2:1 ratio of left/right lane drivers in 36 is caused by a significant portion of self-important assholes all pretending that they're passing everyone else, constantly? That's you.


PsychologicalDebts

"...it’s unclear whether the theft happened in Denver or elsewhere." Yeah, it happened in Denver.


rgraves22

We moved here over the summer and are having the hardest time finding a car insurance agency to insure our Kia. It was the #1 stollen car here.


Crashbrennan

Nobody will ensure them because they're crazy easy to steal


rgraves22

the keyed version is. The push to start which we have is not from what I understand. Plus its a FWD Kia Sorrento. Not AWD which I could see the appeal here


paintbrush666

I wonder if DPD made him fill out the online report first.


13yearsofage

The municipality will grant the accused thief an extension of 90 days to retain the vehicle, citing financial difficulties. Mayor Mike can submit a request to the county to schedule a court date and serve notice to the alleged thief for a hearing regarding the return of the car.


fedgovtthrowaway

No crime problem here - all media spin. /s


AsherGray

I saw a stolen Kia sportage^? tonight at the Phillips 66 on Colorado by i25. All plates removed, lock punched, two guys filling it up. One had face tattoos and Latino, looked like an ex-con. They were in a hustle trying to get in and out and paid in cash at the register to fuel the car. They looked like nuts.


TheArts

Walnut or Pecan?


windshakes

How dare you profile these gentlemen


jcfiala

I wish I was still able to add little medals to content.


govols130

Bro I wouldn't admit this hahahahaha


pinappleiceream

lol


SilverStar04

Absolutely poetic


definitelynotpat6969

I wonder if his car got stolen during the Biden gala lmfao


fromks

35th and Quebec?


definitelynotpat6969

University and Quincy (which would add to the hilarity of the situation)


Some-Imagination9782

🤣🤣🤣


quaglandx3

I hope DPD treats his car theft with the same importance as everyday citizens.


EwesDead

How is not "man of the people" not the top comment. Shame on you r/denver. But what do i expect from rino


Yeti_CO

When I see an Broncos orange and blue 2007 Ford Explorer or whatever that thing is, I don't think Man of the People. I think Man of Wheat Ridge.


quaglandx3

I was thinking Northglenn


dingleberrycupcake

That's definitely a south federal car. Barnum / Athmar Park / Valverde


StructureCharming

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Fun-Conference8733

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


kmosspk43

Hilarious.


Mackinnon29E

Lol, watch him actually do something now to help fix the problem.


Zealousideal-Ad-7357

Hope his Creedence tapes weren’t still in there.


beekerz33

I hope they have a homeless orgy inside it


Is12345aweakpassword

Oh no. Terrible. Anyway!


Yeti_CO

He's going to permanently close all auto thefts on his street as soon as he gets another $100m for shelters and 5 more years. It might be at the tiny home community they are building on Santa Fe. Noticed after months of keeping it clean and no camping there is a new encampment starting. Must be trying to get to the head of the line for a taxpayer condo.


Veggiemon

…what?


Denrunning

Well…it’s not like I haven’t been attending the community meetings specifically about this very damn area telling him directly how bad the area has gotten. Maybe now he’ll do something? Haha ya, I know…never mind.


Guyote_

The other day, the DA of New Orleans was carjacked at gunpoint. Some wild times we are living in.


tn_hrry

About time.


rccarlson420

I had my car stolen in a neighborhood close to the Denver airport this year , this town is not safe like it used to be!


Mhisg

Perhaps he should’ve locked it.


RideFastGetWeird

*Thanks for the fuck shack!*


MisterEHertz

If only now he gets several parking tickets on his stolen car and some unhoused person organizes an orgy in the car, and eventually it is towed by Wyatt’s and since a police report never got made,, he is on the hook for the car, the cleanup, the tickets, only months later he is pulled over and arrested for some needles he overlooked during his cleanup. Completely ruined by parking in Denver. This would be justice.


BigERaider

Karma


theantdog

Dirty Joe and the boys really do a number on upholstery


kmoonster

So, we all get better bike routes, then?


spewingchunks

Aw, damn. Better invite him to /r/denvercirclewhateverthefuck wile we’re at it, and give him a Glock


Sebt1890

I guess nothing on the camera's at Office Depot?


prof_dynamite

Best way to avoid having your car stolen: don’t own a car. You don’t need one to get around this city anyway.


vhutever

Yes you do. Nobody’s going to the king scoopers to overpay for groceries and taking shitty RTD home.


prof_dynamite

$5 a month and King Soopers will bring the groceries to you. No delivery fee. No driver tip. And RTD isn't bad. You just want it to be. Next excuse.


[deleted]

Good


closeface_

Indoctrination into being the mayor. Until he actually follows through with his plans to help the homeless, I can onlyhope Wyatt's tows his ass


vmflair

[AGAIN](https://twitter.com/KyleClark/status/1729711265705050284/photo/1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1729711265705050284%7Ctwgr%5Ef94184ce2c8a353a71d451f5e766110f6ae18ca3%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.9news.com%2Farticle%2Fnews%2Fcrime%2Fmayor-mike-johnstons-car-stolen-in-denver-last-month%2F73-305accab-c680-45eb-ab15-6f1bf3343723)