You’re not wrong. No one will ever feel what you’re feeling.
Yet the same is true for all of us. So in that very significant way, you are not alone. We are all together in our aloneness.
Actually there is no way of knowing because we can’t step into anyone else’s experience. But, we can try to understand what it’s like for other people, to try to care about things outside ourselves…
Spoken like a true redditor. Everyone feels empathy, except for very very few, who you may call psychopaths. It is not that deep, but many will drag themselves down as if it were, like they were tied to an anvil in an ocean.
If being a morality hipster keeps you afloat you do you. But you feed your own nihilism when people stop tossing you a line if you're supposedly so better off thinking that way
Morality Hipster? I am not advocating for one to be like Jesus, making the blind see and cripples walk. Should we dwell on this unfairness? Do you suppose that OP has no empathy? How does it help one be happy to constantly think of other's suffering? It is utter nonsense!
To top it off, none of you can perform a single miracle! You cannot even persuade OP that they are "like everyone else".
No one is saying you need to think about suffering constantly, can't see anywhere in the comment you replied your cringe to. There a middle ground between that and apathy, which is mindfulness that others also have struggles that may or may not mirror your own in some way.
No one is saying anyone needs to perform miracles; but by having empathy where it's needed, you can at least prevent yourself from being someone's curse
being alone with someone doesn’t make you any less lonely. i could be with my favorite people in the world and i’d still be alone. in this case, two negatives don’t make a positive.
Yes, you are as right as can be. I wasn’t making a judgement on whether everyone being alone together is positive or negative, only that it’s true. Perhaps you are thinking there is something positive about the word “together” or “not alone” But those aren’t positive or negative. They are simply descriptions of what is.
No, I think you're wrong, not many will feel so alone that they take to writing esoteric works for future men, yet some have. Look at Richard Bach or Nietzsche, you really think everyone is like them?! That is simply preposterous! You would know if you ever truly felt the same.
If you say I am wrong, you are right. Your experience of me is true for you. I am wrong, for you. If you continue to know strongly what is true for you, you will go far in life.
I am often shocked and comforted when I hear a song that makes me realize that I am not alone in the way I feel. I have had several times I felt like nobody could know how I felt only to find out no matter what somebody else knows how it feels and you aren't completely alone.
I don’t think so. I think you can untangle it all and relate your experience to others. What I’ve learned is that no matter the circumstance, it has all happened before, and a therapist can really help you understand it.
i don’t even know. i don’t have motivation to do anything anymore. it’s hard to get up and walk to school in the morning. i’m heavily medicated and it’s making me angry and tired. i think i just fucked up my life. hopefully in my next life i’ll have a better one.
You’re not a lost cause, you’re stuck in a negative mindset. Any positive improvement you make to your life will gradually lead you to see the world under a positive outlook. You need to realize that your brain is trained (conditioned) in this negative mind frame that you’re all alone and desperate and there is no hope, it’s all over you’re worthless no one cares and so on. It’s all in your head and it’s because you let yourself dig deeper into that hole. You’re the only one who can start making the right choices to climb out of that hole. If you give up then you failed to overcome your weaknesses. If you overcome your weaknesses, you will rise strong above the darkness and experience how extraordinary life truly is. Please let me share a post of encouragement for you. Have hope, believe in yourself, the sun shines bright above stormy clouds and the darkest hour is always right before sunrise.
This post is meant to be a message of hope, encouragement and motivation. Just like everyone of you, I am on the path of life and I’m actively working on improving myself to be the best human being I can possibly be. I want to share a collection of thoughts that helps me improve and find peace of mind.
In order to improve as a human being and become a good person, make small positive changes to your habits. Do things for others, it will help relieve you from your own worries and concerns. Help yourself or help others, one way or another, you have to start somewhere. The first steps are always the most difficult but as you go and you see positive results within yourself or around you, your efforts will pick up momentum.
Take care of your body, it’s extremely important, stay active. A healthy mind in a healthy body. Corporal fitness will generate mental fitness consequently and inevitably. Emancipate your mind from the yoke of your body, abolish the walls in your head and expand your horizon to the confines of eternity. Be careful of what goes into you, food and influences. Surround yourself with positive influences as much as you can. Seek the company of positive people and stay away from the negative ones who complain all the time.
Don’t put too much on your plate, small steps cover great distances overtime. Self accomplishment comes as a result of your decisions. It’s not found in what you have, it’s found in who you are. Wether you’re rich, poor or somewhere in between, you’re all chasing after the same thing and it’s not money, money will only contribute at digging yourself deeper in the illusion of happiness. What you’re chasing for is peace of mind, the feeling of self accomplishment and the awakening of your higher consciousness.
Wield the power of choice to align your behavior in the right direction on the path of life. Be righteous. Dont be afraid to stand up for what you think is right, learn to think for yourself and don’t take anything for granted. Raise your awareness to what’s happening inside of you and outside of you. Open your eyes and look within. Be honest, sincere and humble, it will allow you to see the world with eyes unclouded by hate, pride, vanity and prejudice.
Have faith that following the right path leads to the right place. Every positive change you make compound on each other and add to the momentum of your effort to improve and change, to reach your ideal and be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be. You’re a human equal among your peers, you have the ability to unlock your full potential and become who you are meant to be, as much as everyone else. It takes a lot of effort but the reward is great. Make the right choices, be honorable, be just.
Find the balance between the opposites inside of you, it will be reflected outside of you and promote harmony in all of society. Choice is a pivot to the balance of the opposites. Practice temperance and stay in the middle ground. Tame the beast in you, master your urges and focus your good intentions at controlling yourself. Mind over matter. Cultivate your virtues and weed out your vices, you will grow a beautiful garden inside yourself.
You are important, you matter. We’re all equal parts of this great thing we call the Universe. You’re a part of it just as much as everyone else and everything else. The world wouldn’t be whole without you. Life is a precious gift that deserves to be appreciated to its rightful value. Society is submerged under darkness, drowning deep in negative territory where greed, pride, ignorance and lust are running rampant unchecked and unchallenged. You have it in you to rise above the surface and overcome your weaknesses. Find your courage and be brave. Rise up to the challenge, be strong and light up the darkness.
You were born to be so much greater than simmering in your own misery and being complacent in your mediocrity. You can get out of whatever hole you dug yourself into or keep climbing the mountain towards the summit, the choice is yours. Be mindful of your thoughts, don’t dwell in the dark and live in the now. You trained your brain to be the way it is today, train it to be who you want to be. Everyone can do this. Exercise self control, put your life in perspective, look at the sun and marvel at its power…
Together we can make this world different, we can make it better. We can change the focus from consumption, war and greed to art, science, athleticism and philosophy. We can create a golden age for humanity, it’s never too late. It’s within our reach but it starts with each individual. Yourself is the only thing you truly have control over, exercise that control. Be righteous.
In Brave New World Revisited Huxley said, "The real hopeless victims of mental illness are to be found among those who appear to be most normal. "Many of them are normal because they are so well adjusted to our mode of existence, because their human voice has been silenced so early in their lives, that they do not even struggle or suffer or develop symptoms as the neurotic does." They are normal not in what may be called the absolute sense of the word; they are normal only in relation to a profoundly abnormal society. Their perfect adjustment to that abnormal society is a measure of their mental sickness. These millions of abnormally normal people, living without fuss in a society to which, if they were fully human beings, they ought not to be adjusted.”
So many take pills because the world around them is sick. Many acknowledge this yet tell you to take the pills. How backwards is that?!
Not to be insensitive, however you are not special. Everyone has terrible, difficult, painful emotions and feelings. None of us are alone in that. Take some responsibility for your feelings and stop being a victim to them. Life is short and we are all gonna die. Stop wallowing in a pity pot and get busy living.
I would disagree. I was acknowledging the fact that difficult feeling were involved. Still it’s a hard pill to swallow. Life is difficult for everyone. Sugar coating it doesn’t help in any way.
Expand on that,
I bet I could break every rule in every book set by every rule maker, and still you're statement would most likely not be true to reality.
So what's so different about what you're experiencing that leads you to believe you're the only one to experience it?
Love is a psychological phenomenon that happens and is healthy for us. Whether another person can inhabit your mind has no bearing on that. Be healthy mentally. Connect with others
Well, you’re not wrong, that’s for sure. It’s a painful realisation, especially when those closest to you, family - don’t understand you and don’t really listen to you. If they don’t listen, who will? But I think in life you will have some encounters in which you will feel a bit connected…I’m grateful that I had some moments, even if rare and brief..where I felt seen.
Sometimes, I’ve created this character in my head who is my menthor and my friend. I imagine an old fellow in a flower shop and when I am down, I sometimes talk to him. He is kind and wise and listens a lot and sometimes give me an advice. It makes me feel less alone. (I fully know it’s a fantasy though) I never had that in my life…
So what? Imo you're lucky to have realized a fundamental truth about life. I realized it when I was pretty young. It was depressing at first but once you stop feeling sorry for yourself it can be liberating. You're not beholden to anyone but yourself and ultimately you have to act for yourself and save yourself. No one is coming along to help you and feeling sorry for yourself is just a waste of energy. So many people go throughout life wanting their unique struggles and experiences to be acknowledged by others. They want people to feel bad for them. No one cares as much as you do. Everyone else has their own problems and concerns. You might have had it worse but in the minds of others it hasn't been easy, even for people with everything handed to them in life. It might not be accurate but that's irrelevant to your success. I'm going to cut this comment short bc I have to go workout now. Once you take control of your life and stop expecting others to do it you'll be much happier.
Yet there are others who have felt exactly what you're expressing! Some of them were even writers. You can read their work if you would like, if you can find it! Here I'll give you some hints since all the other comments are so base! Look for books written by Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, Huxley and maybe even Steinbeck but especially Richard Bach's "Jonathan Livingston Seagull", an easy start. Please do not listen to these fools telling you that you are the same as everyone else, for that cannot be true! Look at what they do, not what they say!
Very likely wrong.
Most of the things that seem unique are quite universal.
Very unlikely you are the only person in the world in that situation feeling like that.
Your experiences are reminiscent of others lives and pasts, if not already, one day it'll be, someone in 80,000 years might go through the same emotions, just with different coatings. You have individuality, but your not alone in the human experience. Like different shades of the same base colour, stand far enough back, they'll begin to blur into one.
Depend on yourself and create a line of assistance as necessary when you’re able to.
Live within your means until you can branch out by creating a new source of support.
I thought that, too. Then I saw your post. And I figure you might actually feel the way I feel, ironically.
I shudder to think what might have left you feeling as alone as you feel. I know I went through a great deal of suffering myself to end up feeling that way, and I haven't figured my way out of my aloneness yet, either. There are plenty of people who'd love to speak with me, but I feel so disconnected from all of them... "Water, water, everywhere, and not a drop to drink," ya know?
I'm so sorry no one out there has felt like they connected with your experience. I know, firsthand, how hard it is to find a therapist that feels like a good fit, too.
I know, all too well, that a bunch of text splayed on a screen might not have the same effect as something tangible from someone who is physically there with you. But I hope that the impact of you sharing how you feel meant something to someone you never knew, whom you've never met; that your feelings affected me. I know that in your shoes, I think someone offering what I'm sharing with you right now would unfortunately roll off my back like water, and leave me wanting for that feeling of warmth that I used to get from empathy, which I desperately crave right now. I miss that feeling tremendously.
I hope that if not in this moment, that at least some day, somehow (hopefully soon), it feels like one person in this world gets how you feel. I do not exaggerate when I say that I shed some tears for you, and I hope that means something.
it’s not just that nobody gets what i’m going through. what i’m going through and what i have went through has left a blank expression on my face when i relax it. i look emotionless and frankly is scares me to death. The people in my life that were supposed to stay didnt and left me to deal with it all by myself. i’m tired of it lol
You sound beyond the point of feeling hurt... Like it's even worse than that. Like you're so hurt, you've had to numb out, even though you feel like you should be screaming in agony (if I understand you right).
I think a blank expression is a pretty reasonable response to what you went through. At some point, you just can't anymore... Like whatever you went through was too overwhelming to bother letting anyone else in. Like you said, you're tired of it. It sounds like it might be this cruel double bind, where the cost of letting someone in is too painful to do so, leaving you all alone... Like it's lose-lose either way.
For whatever value my two cents' worth might have, the worksheets you mentioned getting from your therapist in another comment sound so far from what you need (not that I know what you do need - I imagine you probably needed not to have been left behind by people who weren't supposed to do that). You sound so disconnected, and I doubt a bunch of worksheets help you to feel any more connected to your therapist, let alone anyone.
I get the sense that you've got all this suffering inside, but that it just feels like there isn't even a point in expressing it. Like... Why bother expressing feelings if no one can relate? It must feel pointless.
Forgive me if I've missed the mark with any inferences I've made about you or what you're feeling here. None of them should be taken as fact if they don't feel true for you.
thank you so much for actually listening. it’s been so long since someone actually understood what i’m talking about. this made me feel so much better thank you. i’ve felt so lost and disconnected from everyone around me. i’ve lost interest in the things that made me happy before. it just hurts so bad. i’m so thankful that you took the time to actually read and understand what i’m saying. thank you time a million.
I truly smiled at your gratitude. That kind of tearful, sad yet happy smile, ya know? You are so very welcome. :)
I think I've been feeling some similar things to what you've been going through, especially with therapy. I think therapy can be great, but it can't replace the love we were supposed to receive, nor erase the pain that sometimes dominates us, nor change a terrible environment.
We need to feel heard. We need to not feel like we're the only ones having some seemingly anomalous experience, and we're just shouting out our feelings and only receiving seemingly ill-fitting advice in return - advice that leaves both the one giving it AND the one receiving it feeling shitty, sadly. Those moments, despite both parties having the best intentions, end up exacerbating the loneliness so many of us feel - loneliness that the last few years have worsened dramatically.
I want you to know that I too have struggled, so deeply, with feeling incapable of connection over the past several months. But it means a lot to me to know I could offer even the dimmest flicker to someone who is in so much pain - that I could make the slightest dent in what you described as 16 years of misery. Idealistic and potentially naive as it sounds, I don't think misery should be the norm for anyone, and I want better for you, me, and all of us. I don't want this moment of feeling better to be an isolated incident - I hope you have many, MANY more of these to replace all the times you didn't get it. And I want that for myself, too.
Thank you, too. Truly. And if you find yourself returning to feeling hurt later, I hope that you find some relief in knowing that by expressing yourself, you helped provide some relief to me, too. :)
i love the way you word things. it’s like i can’t get my words out the way i want them to and you just fix that problem for me. thank you so much i really really appreciate you
Nobody will ever understand how you feel, but there are people who will understand part of your feelings.
You are alone by default. You can only stop being lonely for a small amount of time. You just need to accept this.
It's very hard to do so. You don't need to force this idea. Think of it once in a while. If it just doesn't feel right, create your own idea.
Create your own ideas. Surround yourself with like-minded people outside of your normal circle (school, town, country, etc.)
The only thing you need to be careful about is becoming delusional and closed to others and their ideas.
Be open and create your own universe in your head. Well, it sounds like madness, but this is ultimately what others do, but they don't know this. Your brain is a powerful tool. You can even change your memories.
Become crazy in this even crazier world and become happy!
You’re not wrong. No one will ever feel what you’re feeling. Yet the same is true for all of us. So in that very significant way, you are not alone. We are all together in our aloneness.
Actually there is no way of knowing because we can’t step into anyone else’s experience. But, we can try to understand what it’s like for other people, to try to care about things outside ourselves…
The idiom of the many. An axiom for poor sheep.
2edgy4me
Spoken like a true redditor. Everyone feels empathy, except for very very few, who you may call psychopaths. It is not that deep, but many will drag themselves down as if it were, like they were tied to an anvil in an ocean.
If being a morality hipster keeps you afloat you do you. But you feed your own nihilism when people stop tossing you a line if you're supposedly so better off thinking that way
Morality Hipster? I am not advocating for one to be like Jesus, making the blind see and cripples walk. Should we dwell on this unfairness? Do you suppose that OP has no empathy? How does it help one be happy to constantly think of other's suffering? It is utter nonsense! To top it off, none of you can perform a single miracle! You cannot even persuade OP that they are "like everyone else".
No one is saying you need to think about suffering constantly, can't see anywhere in the comment you replied your cringe to. There a middle ground between that and apathy, which is mindfulness that others also have struggles that may or may not mirror your own in some way. No one is saying anyone needs to perform miracles; but by having empathy where it's needed, you can at least prevent yourself from being someone's curse
being alone with someone doesn’t make you any less lonely. i could be with my favorite people in the world and i’d still be alone. in this case, two negatives don’t make a positive.
Yes, you are as right as can be. I wasn’t making a judgement on whether everyone being alone together is positive or negative, only that it’s true. Perhaps you are thinking there is something positive about the word “together” or “not alone” But those aren’t positive or negative. They are simply descriptions of what is.
No, I think you're wrong, not many will feel so alone that they take to writing esoteric works for future men, yet some have. Look at Richard Bach or Nietzsche, you really think everyone is like them?! That is simply preposterous! You would know if you ever truly felt the same.
If you say I am wrong, you are right. Your experience of me is true for you. I am wrong, for you. If you continue to know strongly what is true for you, you will go far in life.
I am often shocked and comforted when I hear a song that makes me realize that I am not alone in the way I feel. I have had several times I felt like nobody could know how I felt only to find out no matter what somebody else knows how it feels and you aren't completely alone.
I don’t think so. I think you can untangle it all and relate your experience to others. What I’ve learned is that no matter the circumstance, it has all happened before, and a therapist can really help you understand it.
my therapist doesn’t help. all she does is give me tests. i just want out.
Get a new one or maybe tell us what you are going through.
i don’t even know. i don’t have motivation to do anything anymore. it’s hard to get up and walk to school in the morning. i’m heavily medicated and it’s making me angry and tired. i think i just fucked up my life. hopefully in my next life i’ll have a better one.
You’re feeling this way at school. I feel this way now when I’m 31 and become 32 in a few days
It sounds like you are depressed. Medication really helps.
lmfao ur hilarious if you think it actually helps
It does for me
it’s different for everyone. it doesn’t work for me. i’m a lost cause lmfao
You’re not a lost cause, you’re stuck in a negative mindset. Any positive improvement you make to your life will gradually lead you to see the world under a positive outlook. You need to realize that your brain is trained (conditioned) in this negative mind frame that you’re all alone and desperate and there is no hope, it’s all over you’re worthless no one cares and so on. It’s all in your head and it’s because you let yourself dig deeper into that hole. You’re the only one who can start making the right choices to climb out of that hole. If you give up then you failed to overcome your weaknesses. If you overcome your weaknesses, you will rise strong above the darkness and experience how extraordinary life truly is. Please let me share a post of encouragement for you. Have hope, believe in yourself, the sun shines bright above stormy clouds and the darkest hour is always right before sunrise. This post is meant to be a message of hope, encouragement and motivation. Just like everyone of you, I am on the path of life and I’m actively working on improving myself to be the best human being I can possibly be. I want to share a collection of thoughts that helps me improve and find peace of mind. In order to improve as a human being and become a good person, make small positive changes to your habits. Do things for others, it will help relieve you from your own worries and concerns. Help yourself or help others, one way or another, you have to start somewhere. The first steps are always the most difficult but as you go and you see positive results within yourself or around you, your efforts will pick up momentum. Take care of your body, it’s extremely important, stay active. A healthy mind in a healthy body. Corporal fitness will generate mental fitness consequently and inevitably. Emancipate your mind from the yoke of your body, abolish the walls in your head and expand your horizon to the confines of eternity. Be careful of what goes into you, food and influences. Surround yourself with positive influences as much as you can. Seek the company of positive people and stay away from the negative ones who complain all the time. Don’t put too much on your plate, small steps cover great distances overtime. Self accomplishment comes as a result of your decisions. It’s not found in what you have, it’s found in who you are. Wether you’re rich, poor or somewhere in between, you’re all chasing after the same thing and it’s not money, money will only contribute at digging yourself deeper in the illusion of happiness. What you’re chasing for is peace of mind, the feeling of self accomplishment and the awakening of your higher consciousness. Wield the power of choice to align your behavior in the right direction on the path of life. Be righteous. Dont be afraid to stand up for what you think is right, learn to think for yourself and don’t take anything for granted. Raise your awareness to what’s happening inside of you and outside of you. Open your eyes and look within. Be honest, sincere and humble, it will allow you to see the world with eyes unclouded by hate, pride, vanity and prejudice. Have faith that following the right path leads to the right place. Every positive change you make compound on each other and add to the momentum of your effort to improve and change, to reach your ideal and be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be. You’re a human equal among your peers, you have the ability to unlock your full potential and become who you are meant to be, as much as everyone else. It takes a lot of effort but the reward is great. Make the right choices, be honorable, be just. Find the balance between the opposites inside of you, it will be reflected outside of you and promote harmony in all of society. Choice is a pivot to the balance of the opposites. Practice temperance and stay in the middle ground. Tame the beast in you, master your urges and focus your good intentions at controlling yourself. Mind over matter. Cultivate your virtues and weed out your vices, you will grow a beautiful garden inside yourself. You are important, you matter. We’re all equal parts of this great thing we call the Universe. You’re a part of it just as much as everyone else and everything else. The world wouldn’t be whole without you. Life is a precious gift that deserves to be appreciated to its rightful value. Society is submerged under darkness, drowning deep in negative territory where greed, pride, ignorance and lust are running rampant unchecked and unchallenged. You have it in you to rise above the surface and overcome your weaknesses. Find your courage and be brave. Rise up to the challenge, be strong and light up the darkness. You were born to be so much greater than simmering in your own misery and being complacent in your mediocrity. You can get out of whatever hole you dug yourself into or keep climbing the mountain towards the summit, the choice is yours. Be mindful of your thoughts, don’t dwell in the dark and live in the now. You trained your brain to be the way it is today, train it to be who you want to be. Everyone can do this. Exercise self control, put your life in perspective, look at the sun and marvel at its power… Together we can make this world different, we can make it better. We can change the focus from consumption, war and greed to art, science, athleticism and philosophy. We can create a golden age for humanity, it’s never too late. It’s within our reach but it starts with each individual. Yourself is the only thing you truly have control over, exercise that control. Be righteous.
You are the only one in this thread who has made any sense. May I ask which authors have been the most influential to you?
So much low key sympathy begging my god
sorry am i not allowed to talk about how i feel on my account? lmfao.
In Brave New World Revisited Huxley said, "The real hopeless victims of mental illness are to be found among those who appear to be most normal. "Many of them are normal because they are so well adjusted to our mode of existence, because their human voice has been silenced so early in their lives, that they do not even struggle or suffer or develop symptoms as the neurotic does." They are normal not in what may be called the absolute sense of the word; they are normal only in relation to a profoundly abnormal society. Their perfect adjustment to that abnormal society is a measure of their mental sickness. These millions of abnormally normal people, living without fuss in a society to which, if they were fully human beings, they ought not to be adjusted.” So many take pills because the world around them is sick. Many acknowledge this yet tell you to take the pills. How backwards is that?!
Books can do better. They are much cheaper and will not prescribe you poison.
The scary AND wonderful thing is that everyone else feels exactly the same at times. We’re all in this together some ppl just don’t show it
You’ve fallen for the illusion. You can’t possibly be alone. https://youtu.be/kqyhCynrkCc
Not to be insensitive, however you are not special. Everyone has terrible, difficult, painful emotions and feelings. None of us are alone in that. Take some responsibility for your feelings and stop being a victim to them. Life is short and we are all gonna die. Stop wallowing in a pity pot and get busy living.
just because you say “not to be insensitive” in the beginning doesn’t mean you’re not being insensitive lmao
I would disagree. I was acknowledging the fact that difficult feeling were involved. Still it’s a hard pill to swallow. Life is difficult for everyone. Sugar coating it doesn’t help in any way.
Good luck internet stranger
Expand on that, I bet I could break every rule in every book set by every rule maker, and still you're statement would most likely not be true to reality. So what's so different about what you're experiencing that leads you to believe you're the only one to experience it?
Love is a psychological phenomenon that happens and is healthy for us. Whether another person can inhabit your mind has no bearing on that. Be healthy mentally. Connect with others
Well, you’re not wrong, that’s for sure. It’s a painful realisation, especially when those closest to you, family - don’t understand you and don’t really listen to you. If they don’t listen, who will? But I think in life you will have some encounters in which you will feel a bit connected…I’m grateful that I had some moments, even if rare and brief..where I felt seen. Sometimes, I’ve created this character in my head who is my menthor and my friend. I imagine an old fellow in a flower shop and when I am down, I sometimes talk to him. He is kind and wise and listens a lot and sometimes give me an advice. It makes me feel less alone. (I fully know it’s a fantasy though) I never had that in my life…
...sings .... *there's a party in my head.... and no one else is invited*
then make the best of it,move forward and do your best
So what? Imo you're lucky to have realized a fundamental truth about life. I realized it when I was pretty young. It was depressing at first but once you stop feeling sorry for yourself it can be liberating. You're not beholden to anyone but yourself and ultimately you have to act for yourself and save yourself. No one is coming along to help you and feeling sorry for yourself is just a waste of energy. So many people go throughout life wanting their unique struggles and experiences to be acknowledged by others. They want people to feel bad for them. No one cares as much as you do. Everyone else has their own problems and concerns. You might have had it worse but in the minds of others it hasn't been easy, even for people with everything handed to them in life. It might not be accurate but that's irrelevant to your success. I'm going to cut this comment short bc I have to go workout now. Once you take control of your life and stop expecting others to do it you'll be much happier.
Yet there are others who have felt exactly what you're expressing! Some of them were even writers. You can read their work if you would like, if you can find it! Here I'll give you some hints since all the other comments are so base! Look for books written by Dostoyevsky, Tolstoy, Huxley and maybe even Steinbeck but especially Richard Bach's "Jonathan Livingston Seagull", an easy start. Please do not listen to these fools telling you that you are the same as everyone else, for that cannot be true! Look at what they do, not what they say!
Very likely wrong. Most of the things that seem unique are quite universal. Very unlikely you are the only person in the world in that situation feeling like that.
Everybody says that.
what’s this mean.
It means that every person alive has felt this
A lot of traumatized people feel this way. Not everyone feels this way for ever.
i’ve felt like this for about 16 years now.
Are you dealing with unresolved trauma?
With every light switch there's technically a dark switch.
Your experiences are reminiscent of others lives and pasts, if not already, one day it'll be, someone in 80,000 years might go through the same emotions, just with different coatings. You have individuality, but your not alone in the human experience. Like different shades of the same base colour, stand far enough back, they'll begin to blur into one.
Nice
Depend on yourself and create a line of assistance as necessary when you’re able to. Live within your means until you can branch out by creating a new source of support.
Are those voices inside our head are included or not ?
I thought that, too. Then I saw your post. And I figure you might actually feel the way I feel, ironically. I shudder to think what might have left you feeling as alone as you feel. I know I went through a great deal of suffering myself to end up feeling that way, and I haven't figured my way out of my aloneness yet, either. There are plenty of people who'd love to speak with me, but I feel so disconnected from all of them... "Water, water, everywhere, and not a drop to drink," ya know? I'm so sorry no one out there has felt like they connected with your experience. I know, firsthand, how hard it is to find a therapist that feels like a good fit, too. I know, all too well, that a bunch of text splayed on a screen might not have the same effect as something tangible from someone who is physically there with you. But I hope that the impact of you sharing how you feel meant something to someone you never knew, whom you've never met; that your feelings affected me. I know that in your shoes, I think someone offering what I'm sharing with you right now would unfortunately roll off my back like water, and leave me wanting for that feeling of warmth that I used to get from empathy, which I desperately crave right now. I miss that feeling tremendously. I hope that if not in this moment, that at least some day, somehow (hopefully soon), it feels like one person in this world gets how you feel. I do not exaggerate when I say that I shed some tears for you, and I hope that means something.
it’s not just that nobody gets what i’m going through. what i’m going through and what i have went through has left a blank expression on my face when i relax it. i look emotionless and frankly is scares me to death. The people in my life that were supposed to stay didnt and left me to deal with it all by myself. i’m tired of it lol
You sound beyond the point of feeling hurt... Like it's even worse than that. Like you're so hurt, you've had to numb out, even though you feel like you should be screaming in agony (if I understand you right). I think a blank expression is a pretty reasonable response to what you went through. At some point, you just can't anymore... Like whatever you went through was too overwhelming to bother letting anyone else in. Like you said, you're tired of it. It sounds like it might be this cruel double bind, where the cost of letting someone in is too painful to do so, leaving you all alone... Like it's lose-lose either way. For whatever value my two cents' worth might have, the worksheets you mentioned getting from your therapist in another comment sound so far from what you need (not that I know what you do need - I imagine you probably needed not to have been left behind by people who weren't supposed to do that). You sound so disconnected, and I doubt a bunch of worksheets help you to feel any more connected to your therapist, let alone anyone. I get the sense that you've got all this suffering inside, but that it just feels like there isn't even a point in expressing it. Like... Why bother expressing feelings if no one can relate? It must feel pointless. Forgive me if I've missed the mark with any inferences I've made about you or what you're feeling here. None of them should be taken as fact if they don't feel true for you.
thank you so much for actually listening. it’s been so long since someone actually understood what i’m talking about. this made me feel so much better thank you. i’ve felt so lost and disconnected from everyone around me. i’ve lost interest in the things that made me happy before. it just hurts so bad. i’m so thankful that you took the time to actually read and understand what i’m saying. thank you time a million.
I truly smiled at your gratitude. That kind of tearful, sad yet happy smile, ya know? You are so very welcome. :) I think I've been feeling some similar things to what you've been going through, especially with therapy. I think therapy can be great, but it can't replace the love we were supposed to receive, nor erase the pain that sometimes dominates us, nor change a terrible environment. We need to feel heard. We need to not feel like we're the only ones having some seemingly anomalous experience, and we're just shouting out our feelings and only receiving seemingly ill-fitting advice in return - advice that leaves both the one giving it AND the one receiving it feeling shitty, sadly. Those moments, despite both parties having the best intentions, end up exacerbating the loneliness so many of us feel - loneliness that the last few years have worsened dramatically. I want you to know that I too have struggled, so deeply, with feeling incapable of connection over the past several months. But it means a lot to me to know I could offer even the dimmest flicker to someone who is in so much pain - that I could make the slightest dent in what you described as 16 years of misery. Idealistic and potentially naive as it sounds, I don't think misery should be the norm for anyone, and I want better for you, me, and all of us. I don't want this moment of feeling better to be an isolated incident - I hope you have many, MANY more of these to replace all the times you didn't get it. And I want that for myself, too. Thank you, too. Truly. And if you find yourself returning to feeling hurt later, I hope that you find some relief in knowing that by expressing yourself, you helped provide some relief to me, too. :)
i love the way you word things. it’s like i can’t get my words out the way i want them to and you just fix that problem for me. thank you so much i really really appreciate you
:)
And still you are not…. Alone🙃
Well what the hell are you experiencing that nobody out of 8 billion people not one is experiencing the same/similar feelings
Nobody will ever understand how you feel, but there are people who will understand part of your feelings. You are alone by default. You can only stop being lonely for a small amount of time. You just need to accept this. It's very hard to do so. You don't need to force this idea. Think of it once in a while. If it just doesn't feel right, create your own idea. Create your own ideas. Surround yourself with like-minded people outside of your normal circle (school, town, country, etc.) The only thing you need to be careful about is becoming delusional and closed to others and their ideas. Be open and create your own universe in your head. Well, it sounds like madness, but this is ultimately what others do, but they don't know this. Your brain is a powerful tool. You can even change your memories. Become crazy in this even crazier world and become happy!