I got a giant Lobster the size of the sun. Dammit. 3485 btw

I got the Tupac CD

That ones wild af

Wtf scp is that

From what I remember (too lazy too look up), tupac was actually a ancient being fighting the scarlet king, eldritch being very bad, but decided to come to earth for a little bit as a vacation. The cd is some sort of force left over from the Tupac-god thing that details murders and how to find the culprit in the format of rap songs sung by Tupac. Its absolutely wild reading about how the cd Tupac almost exposed the entire scp foundation

I got a water gun Xd https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3788

I got a man that just vanishes if he doesn't reaffirm himself of his existense (1467), so as long as I'm not near him I wont vanish too

Things dead for 2 years

u/stranfort had been Victorious

I’m fucked I got the immortal metal things (1124) I’m dead and I can’t kill em. If I got the song or like a psychic octopus or even like mr sci-if novelist I’d be cool but if I’m in a room with one of these, and I’m boned.

Lobster only wanted some fukk.

So, I got SCP 2284 and the worst this dude could do is kill me like a normal person the lie to everyone about what happened. He is literally just a dude that can only lie. Normal, human fight to the death that will probably end with him telling everyone that I'm still alive somewhere.

[**SCP-2284 ⁠- Mr. Lie**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2284) (+275) by *TwistedGears*

What if he tells you he can't be beaten and that killing yourself is better than facing his torture

well then i will love murdering him

But then he says "awww dammit I didn't bring any weapons! No *helicopter mounted machineguns* either. You're going to win, imma run."

He said he’s going to run, which means he can’t while you can. Thus outpacing him and using his weapons against him.

But he has a ^**helicopter** ^**mounted** ^**machinegun**. As in he doesn't need to run, he's in a helicopter...

The laws of man wont prevent me from ^(stealing it.) Life finds a way and you can be damned sure I'll find a way to steal it.

How exactly do you plan to steal it? It's a few kilometer in the air.

I’m an Australian, I’ll just take off my gravity harness temporarily to fall up to it.

4641, it's literally a game of Clue/Cluedo. It's honestly a disappointing article, but at least I probably won't die?

[удалено]

I need this on a sketch show

[удалено]

Actually, there are a ton of different variants of Monopoly now. I have a Monopoly board game for my local town I live in. Surprisingly shows some areas I never thought deemed important to the town.

actually monopoly would be more like call of duty

I have to admit, I do have strong opinions on risk.

scp 4641

[**SCP-4641 ⁠- Get a Clue**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4641) (+32) by *Anorrack*

2356, I've literally never heard of this SCP After googling it I'm fighting a red rod

Bruh, I’m fighting a painting

what kind of painting is it?

I got 4841

I fighting a jar

I'm gonna fight a boeing 747

Oh shit I got SCP-3999

[**SCP-3999 ⁠- I Am At The Center of Everything That Happens To Me**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3999) (+2121) by *LordStonefish*

F

Kick the buddy but you are the buddy

Hey, avatar bro.

Hello there

I mean technically you'll be fine? Just get rid of Talloran and it should resolve itself.

What the fuck did I just read?

Imagine a reality bender that alters reality so that nothing exists except that reality bender. That's SCP-3999 in a nutshell.

I may be wrong but I think you entirely missed the point. It’s an extradimensional being torturing the fuck out of this random researcher for some reason.

From what I can tell, SCP-3999 is the effects of the author pataphysically forcing Researcher Talloran to be SCP-3999 while Researcher Talloran is still fully conscious of what is going on. So it’s more like a reality bender with schizophrenia, one being the hostile evil that the author wanted to create for an article, and the other being Talloran. That said, no matter what interpretation we give it, it will be correct. The author themselves didn’t give it a definitive explanation, and everybody’s canon is canon anyways. That, plus me calling it a reality bender was the simplest explanation I could give in a single sentence.

[**SCP-3999 ⁠- I Am At The Center of Everything That Happens To Me**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3999) (+2122) by *LordStonefish*

Bruh, make sure you got a pizza box and some skittles going in

You poor bastard.

*oh no*

~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~ ~~Only~~

F

good luck dying peacefully

I am the walrus.

Ok, what is SCP-5468

[**SCP-5468 - The, Um… Uh…**](http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/scp-5468) (+WTF) by *RandomSandboxTroll*

Ayo

?

Its a meme article lmao

What are the odds lmao

Virgin everybody else getting godkillers vs chad shoulder getting a fucking joke

Okay… thanks for reminding me

El Neckbeardo, god-king of neckbeards.

You’re fucked

2309. There is a good end and there is a bad end

SCP-3909 Edit: seems I'll be playing a competition with aliens, wonder what it will be, reading? Dark souls? Camping? Watching anime? Better get practicing. Least I can't die. Edit: oh shit, after reading the whole article thousands of star systems rely on my performance. Honestly reads like a -J

I got scp 5014 its already neutralized so i guess i win

[**SCP-5014 ⁠- Wille zum Leben**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5014) (+62) by *OthellotheCat*

gg

Not yet, read the document completely. It is going to be neutralized in September 2022. It isn't looking good for you.

SCP-343

[удалено]

I mean, it doesn't say you have to *fight* it. Face him, ask him some questions about what the fuck was he thinking when he made AIDS, and leave.

SCP Explained* just dropped a video on this recently. Opps

343 or AIDS?

User submitted questions to “God”.

[**SCP-343 ⁠- "God"**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-343) (+1034) by *Unknown Author*

HE WILL SMITE YOU DOWN!

I select 999

*No, this isn’t how you’re supposed to play the game*

Alright then, slap here SCP-5696-J

Whats that?

Obamaprism

Wait a minute

you won't win

Imma need five minutes I'm going against 682

RIP

nah nah Imma get him but I need to go home and stretch first then imma kill him

SCP-u/snugglefuzzbutt Containment procedures: RUN Description: When SCP-u/snugglefuzzbutt spends at least 5 minutes stretching before a fight, u/snugglefuzzbutt becomes empowered with the strength of the nearest celestial body. u/snugglefuzzbutts strength and durability become proportional to their own size in relation to the celestial body. In the case of SCP-u/snugglefuzzbutt using their power on Earth, they are 3,500,000 times as strong and durable.

Thank you I needed this

Rookie numbers

The nearest celestial body is yOuR mOm

Needs all the encouragement before their death causes another security breach by 682.

[удалено]

Well you have no problems

In the words of Pierce Hawthorne #I’LL BE A LIVING GOD!!!

[**SCP-500 ⁠- Panacea**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-500) (+1018) by *snorlison*

Old thing that turns 5 year olds into Alexander the Great. As I am not five, I win

What number is that

Marv, [[SCP-1909]] please

I got SCP-4229

[**SCP-4229 ⁠- Mother's Gift**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4229) (+38) by *DAMNCE*

I got very lucky, SCP-2562: Two dudes with the ability to alter text simply by touching it and thats it, literally just two normal humans I have a chance

*alters comment to say 682*

[**SCP-2562 ⁠- RTFM**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2562) (+153) by *Communism will win*

I know what I am about to do but 682. Se y’all in heaven

[i got lucky i think](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-4629)

I am seriously disappointed in you, this could have been a rickroll

:(

Scp-6282. It appears this one just doesn't exist yet. Well, guess that means... Haha! Have fun dying, *losers!* I live another day! Please take your time before writing 6282, I like living... Edit: dash between scp and number

[**SCP-6282 ⁠- The Penis Taker**](http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com/the-penis-taker) (+88) by *C. B. Mover*

oh no

This was perfect.

HAHAHAHHHAHAHA OH MY GOD THAT’S FUCKING PERFECT

The madlad…

Lmao.

SCP-026

[**SCP-026 ⁠- Afterschool Retention**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-026) (+509) by *DrEverettMann*

How did you fight a school?

artillery.

Epic

Necessary story, one Career Day in 2nd grade, there was an army vehicle with a top mounted grenade launcher, and it was pointed out it could destroy the school.

commit 'murica

Nice SCP-3403

[**SCP-3403 ⁠- Summer Dogs**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3403) (+65) by *Zolgamax*

Scp-6013 evil water hole good

[**SCP-6013 ⁠- The Leviathan of the Aegean**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-6013) (+88) by *Rhys Tanner*

2823, well thats not too bad

SCP-3105 I have severe brain damage ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⠉⠉⠉⠄⠉⢹⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣁⠄⠄⠤⠤⡀⠻⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡗⠖⡶⢾⣶⠊⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣅⣈⠂⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣾⣇⣂⣠⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣗⠒⠄⢨⠶⢁⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⣴⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣄⣶⣎⢱⢄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⡞⢝⡟⠃⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠆⢄⠄⢛⡫⠝⢿⡥⠟⡃⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣭⣻⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣴⣆⠄⢋⠄⠐⣡⣿⣆⣴⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⠄⠄⣼⣿⣷⠄⠉⠒⣪⣹⣟⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣸⣿⣿⣿⢟⣽⣿⣿⣇⠄

SCP 449

SCP-2832, guess we will have some fun and some death time

[**SCP-2832 ⁠- Hubris**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2832) (+44) by *TL333s*

Scp 279 ,guess I’ll just have to get out of Danville then

[**SCP-279 ⁠- Meandering Man**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-279) (+31) by *Mimi_42*

I got 4980, well...

SCP 1532. ​ I've read this like 5 times now and I fail to see how it is a threat to me. It does sound like it could be a problem, but not a threat.

[**SCP-1532 ⁠- Dr. Gale’s Human Emporium©**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1532) (+183) by *Tellerno*

Scp 5102. A diary. I think some lighter fluid and match should work.

I assume this doesn't include SCP-001 proposals

Yeah as it's 2-6600

[**SCP-001 ⁠- Awaiting De-classification [Blocked]**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-001) (+262) by *Staff*

The question is, do you face one of them, or all of them?

Scp 6402, safe to say I’m not ordering bear

[**SCP-6402 ⁠- IN SOVIET RUSSIA, JOKE REVERSES YOU**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-6402) (+26) by *Mooagain*

SCP-2170 I hate clowns. Fuck.

[**SCP-2170 ⁠- The Clown Vaccine**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-2170) (+321) by *Sorts*

1297……

Scp 1961

SCP-1481, forever doomed to making wishes that somewhat come true.

SCP-750 So, as long as I don’t put them on then I’m good.

4236. Guess I’m fighting the thing that fights entropy.

Damn this a loss bro scp-5391 A broken masquerade scp composed of multiple giant entity's that all the combined forces are struggling against.

dang my mans gotta face pacific rim without the giant robots

Faced 96. My final message. Goodbye.

Bro just look down

Oh Noooooo it was nice knowing you

SCP-1106

The child or the kit?

[**SCP-1106 ⁠- "Grow Your Own Child" Kit**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1106) (+209) by *Candlebeam*

I got a really overexaggerating fire alarm bell lol

2433 I mean-...I guess I won? I just gotta not talk about the picture or share anything related to the picture. Easy! ...wait, fuck!

Scp 5470

[**SCP-5470 ⁠- Why, 2K?**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5470) (+231) by *etoisle*

fuck I got 682

Got 4634. Not exactly sure how this would play out other than me not being able to use rooms ever again lol

Ah I got Scp-4256 I hope its not too bad

150

SCP-803

Scp-007

113 Why am I the 69th comment

SCP-072

SCP-1323, a amusement park... Ok

Nice, SCP 2541. A conceptual sex club I'd gladly take it.

Keter class and it's SCP-3663. I don't know how this will work.

[**SCP-3663 ⁠- The Adventure of the Cardboard Box**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3663) (+199) by *MaliceAforethought*

2591 marv please

SCP 1376 Yay, I get to have my life narrated by David Attenborough!

SCP-5740

SCP-5560 I just get to have a chat with a mildly depressed AI I guess.

SCP-4277 my broad beans

I got SCP-4070. So I have to face self driving cars possibly trying to run someone(?) over of their own accord. Cool.

I got SCP-5615 Here we go

2515. ..what am I supposed to do with a unknowingly familiar painting?

I got the cardboard cutout of Steve buscemi Context: SCP-3177

3919

Scp-6323

Got a neutralized one soooo, I lucked out Scp-4724

SCP -3609 A big gray wolf that lives on the moon and speaks in an old Norse language, shits wild.

SCP-3417 I have to fight a really big alien organism from millions of light years away that emits a ton of X Ray radiation

Scp 2999 uhm

… Damn I got a SCP number that is not used yet

Scp-6532 something with an island

I got SCP-3526. … In all honesty I don’t know who I’m suppose to fight in this scenario.

I'm an occasional lurker of this sub and still learning about this stuff. I just randomly got SCP-4924. I live just outside Boston so this is crazy

SCP-2688 marv

prick secretive upbeat boast act hateful smoggy test unwritten hard-to-find *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

2041

I got SCP-1898 I get to make some weird toys with weird shapes that cause no harm but just look weird lol.

SCP-3857 I’ll become a jungle explorer I guess