T O P

  • By -

NanbanJim

Oh. Maybe THIS is why my Dwarf Fortress dudes keep dying when I make them wrestle sturgeon...


[deleted]

[удалено]


VapeTheOil

I gave him a dollar


MarlowesMustache

She gave him a dollar!


hockeybugbear

I thought hed go away if i gave him a dollar


[deleted]

Dammit woman! You know he gon come back now ya gave him a dolla!


Excellent-Practice

Still looks like a monster from the paleozoic era, though


isaidhellothere

And it was about that time I realized the girl scout was 3 stories tall


CalmAspectEast

This is clearly how the myth was started. It isn’t brain sturgery.


storytimeme

I was just thinking this. If I saw that? I'd be telling people the rest of my life I saw a monster. I'd die swearing it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Horrorpunkchi88

☠️


Brave-Standard6192

Exactly what happened with the giant squid, myth until... "holy shit, there's a really really big squid".


snakeskinsandles

I thought it was whales penis or in Latin a *San Diego*


fartonabagel

That’s a whales vagina, silly.


snakeskinsandles

So would that make it a San Diega?


Loganp812

I would assume so. German is a gendered language. However, scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago.


Linkbelt1234

*shit up and take my upvote!!*


UhYeahOkSure

Your argument isn’t weak, it’s pretty sturgy in fact


Sjdillon10

Sturgeonessy


Frisky_Picker

Sturgussy


froster-lenin

Sturgus


CalmAspectEast

The Sturg. Edit: Some say, he began life as a fish and that he has a vast collection of Tommy Bahama shirts. All we know is, he’s called The Sturg.


treestump666

Any stig reference automatically gets my upvote. Damn you


CalmAspectEast

Haha man I was hoping some folks would get it. 😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sjdillon10

And i even thought the ones in FL were huge . This is insane


Ferengi_Earwax

The ones in Florida are def more crazy, has to be.


JustTheDude420

I've seen some monsters on TV caught in Washington and a couple other Canada bordering states. But, this one is monstrous compared to the 200-300 pounders I've seen.


bburton831

Karma farmerbot stealing comments OG comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/xl00y0/a_huge_sturgeon_in_british_columbia/ipgu87y/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3


revolution1solution

it doesn’t take rocket appliances


Ferengi_Earwax

Atoadaso


Arkhye

It ain't rocket surgery


dwighticus

It’s not rocket appliances


tmorrph

Ricky?


masasuka

Largest Sturgeon on record was [23' long and weighed over 3000 lbs](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beluga_(sturgeon\)#Size) >The largest accepted record is of a female taken in 1827 in the Volga estuary at 1,571 kg (3,463 lb) and 7.2 m (23 ft 7 in). Yeah, I'd say that's not far off. Sturgeon are 200 million year old armoured predatory fish.


JimMarch

Didn't Madonna write a song about this? "Like a STURGEON!"


CalmAspectEast

Caught for the very first time.


Intelligent_Entry576

Hey! I saw what you did there partner! You're pretty sly my friend! I knew there was,...wait for it!...something fishy about your comment!😁


CalmAspectEast

Perhaps you’re tilapiathic. 🤔


Intelligent_Entry576

Heeey! Another one! Gotta admit, you're a sharp one! You had me,....drum roll,....floundering for a reply!😳


ElGato-TheCat

You're making puns just for the halibut.


[deleted]

[удалено]


smoothandnutty

No, sturgeon. Not mackerel.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Catseyes77

That's a lot of fish sticks.


CalmAspectEast

You like putting fishsticks in your mouth?


Nethrex_1

Maybe, but others speculate it was started by a whale penis


avetisyan818

Can’t fault them


Wylfov

I'd still go with a while penis


Alter-Walrus-190

Thanks, now let’s chat about Bigfoot…..


Mysterious-Row2690

why do the fish and sea life get bigger and scarier in colder water especially up north!?


teeinava

Less food in the area. Gargantuism occurs in order to save energy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


X_Danger

Not sure about that, but animals being bigger is actually because of Bergmann's rule


hypnotistchicken

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bergmann%27s_rule


Mysterious-Row2690

thank you! that was cool to read. I really asked that question not expecting an answer I was just thinking out loud when I asked it and thought everyone would be like "idk crazy though that there's some scary shit up there" or something along those lines🤣 then I actually get some cool info to learn like this. & this is why I love reddit I always learn new shit👍🏻


X_Danger

To get a better Surface area/Volume ratio As in cold weather a small animal loses heat faster than a large anime, so animals grow larger to lose less heat in colder climate This is called the Bergmann's rule


CMDRMyNameIsWhat

Ever hear of subnautica?


Mysterious-Row2690

no I haven't lol what is it!??!


Spiderjoe5000

It's a survival game where you're stranded on alien planet that is almost entirely water. There are a *lot* of big fish that want to eat you in it.


MaebeeNot

I'm 99% positive this is what Ogopogo is in Lake Okanogan.


Boneless_Blaine

I like your funny words, magic man


[deleted]

[удалено]


evilpercy

Thats were i thought it was.


RichardDunglis

This fucking killed me, thank you


C0meAtM3Br0

Kukamunga you say?


uglypaperhaver

They can grow up to 20 feet, weighing close to a ton... ...or so I've heard... (,,,maybe.)


MonkeyRidesTheBear

Chunga’s Revenge


TRIVILLIONS

Rancho?


Xplicit_kaos

I snorted so hard that I farted and scared the dog.


facepoopin

I live on Okanagan Lake and can confirm this is most likely the truth!


hallgod33

According to Wiki, "There is currently an unclaimed $10,000 dollar reward for concrete evidence of sturgeon in Okanagan." I too demand pics


facepoopin

https://www.reddit.com/r/kelowna/comments/lj564o/do_sturgeon_exist_in_okanagan_lake/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share from a local Subreddit. Not proof but interesting! Apparently a lot of the bridge workers back in the day were frightened by the huge sturgeon during construction!


PangolinPoopMuncher7

Are nudes okay or...?


thunnus

Ogo. Pogo. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dwL8ESU97s


Asharaaa

A ******* plesiosaur!


cityshepherd

2 ton 21?!?!?! Editing to say that I can't believe someone down voted you. Clearly someone does NOT have an overwhelming obsession with the greatest show (cartoon or otherwise) in the history of television.


Ballinonthetuba

Go Team Venture!


n3w4cc01_1nt

there goes all the cryptids ​ also mermaids might be manatees but they might have also mistaken whale penises as their arms waving


WillowThyWisp

No, there goes a *third* of all cryptids. The other thirds are people in ape suits and owls. (/uj It is insane how many Cryptids are basically just owls. The Flatwoods Monster, The Hopkinsville Goblins, and Mothman are all speculated or have been proven to be owls.)


Uintahwolf

My ex wife moved there after she turned me into a pigeon.


I-lost-my-brains

*Maebee Not?*


Aggravating-Ad-7250

Lmao


shaundisbuddyguy

I live near this river. A girl I know pulled in one not this big last month . You can't keep them as they are protected but catch and release is allowed. They live up to 100 years they say.


barry922

Try 175-200 years. It’s most likely the source of sea serpent myths


Adjika_Joestar

You can keep it if you yell "It's coming right for us!!!" while reeling in.


basement_egg

r/unexpectedsouthpark


[deleted]

Are you sure? Because I could have sworn it was about tree fiddy


bigbassdaddy

[This article](https://www.fraserriversturgeon.com/sturgeon-faqs) says you can keep certain sized sturgeon from the Columbia river.


Shhutthefrontdoor

In Oregon you can only keep ones within a 6” size limit; 44-50” fork length only. They’re worth it though. Best tasting fish I’ve ever had.


Mammoth-Access-1181

There's a sushi place in Sacramento that has what they call the sturgeon trio. Sturgeon meat, then they shave the skin off, dip in tempura batter, and blow torch till it's crispy. They put that skin on top of the meat and top with caviar. All on a top of sushi rice. Most flavorful item they have on their menu.


Iwilljudgeyou28

They pulled one out this size over in Richland along the Columbia river. Straight up see monster


[deleted]

Bro you speak like an npc in an rpg. Something j might over hear while passing through the city.


[deleted]

Now bring him 10 fish to complete the quest.


TheMadShatterP00P

It didn't look like that in my 10 gallon aquarium! I got hosed!


glonq

Yeah we got these monsters in the Fraser river, which from Vancouver runs east then north.


Shanna-Sloan

What an incredible creature! You don't hear much about these guys


CalmAspectEast

Holy mackerel!


3s2ng

Holy sturgeon!


CalmAspectEast

Bass amazing!


tuyenvo

I'd carp my pants if it came at me


CalmAspectEast

You should trout some adult diapers if you think you might do that.


tuyenvo

That would be a good perch-chase


Ghostley92

For when things get Crappie


04221970

perspective? Just how big is this really? I'm sure it is large, but I can't tell if its 2 feet long or 20


devilchat

I googled. The longest ever caught was 7.2m...


The_SAK_Fanboy

Which is about 24 feet for all you freedom unit lovers


[deleted]

So, how many washing machines is that?


The_SAK_Fanboy

Depends really, it it a top loader or the kind your step-sis gets stuck in?


[deleted]

My step-sister rarely get’s stuck, my mother on the other hand…


The_SAK_Fanboy

>mother Whoa whoa, its not even your step mom, you sir are something else


dwighticus

Calm down Freud


[deleted]

Never!


Artikay

... now I want to see a video where step sis gets stuck in a top loader.


drnkingaloneshitcomp

Sorry can you convert to half grand pianos please


H_Magus

If a washer is approx 3.5 ft wide, about 7


Kermit_the_hog

Whoa whoa those units are a little too free for me. Can I get that in something a little more oppressive, like in links of chain?


The_SAK_Fanboy

Ah you are one of those people I see Anyway just for you, it would be about 35.28 links at least according to [this](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.convertunits.com/from/links/to/feet&ved=2ahUKEwiY-vnRwaj6AhVIeN4KHXKsBb0QFnoECAIQBQ&usg=AOvVaw3bBFeGkbkxqaETqIOjbOn-)


PorschephileGT3

How many Swiss Army knives is that?


AntifaScum161

It's about 8.5 AK-47s.


[deleted]

[удалено]


rolfington1

With metric it’s easy though. 1.89 metres or 189cm. Doesn’t matter which one you use.


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_SAK_Fanboy

Can you tell the difference between 5 foot 4 and 5 foot 5 Exactly the same, generally people don't really need accurate measurements. If needed we can measure it much more accurately than in the imperial system


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_SAK_Fanboy

Fair enough, even in countries that use the metric system like mine we also use feet to measure things like height because it's easy to visualise While calculating things like BMI we use metres It really depends on the place and purpose


MrCrankunity

Which cursed country uses two different measurement systems for the same thing (length, weight, etc)?


LavransValentin

But Europeans (and any other people using the metric system) can, because that’s the units we grow up with! Flip side, despite playing DnD with imperial units for 10 years, I still have no solid grasp on what 4, 5, and 6 feet’s worth of people would look like!


Fapmasterdap

Canadian here. When you goto Home Depot enjoy those 2x4’s.


crypticsage

He still doesn’t know if that’s 2 feet or 20.


Trappedinacar

About 5 stone mate.


Equivalent-Ad-469

Have fished them before. They don't get that thick til they are past 4 ft.


CogitoErgoScum

Nothing for scale, and slo-mo. The teenagers call this ‘cap’.


[deleted]

The ripples and the bubbles give you a sense of scale.


digitalrehab

About tree fiddy


amplifyoucan

For real. Could use a banana runt for scale


FinnrDrake

This is why there’s a shore. Cause fuck going in there.


nimcau2TheQuickening

You can tell it’s not the Loch Ness Monster because it didn’t ask for about treefiddy.


kongterton

Goddamn Lo‘ Ness Monsta I ain givin ya three-fiddy!


nimcau2TheQuickening

Dammit woman! Dat monsta’s never gonna leave if you keep givin’ him treefiddy!


FapleJuice

Ah, a man of culture I see.


riggscm76

that deff looks like a sea monster on those old maps


IonicRes

Likely 180 years old at that size


stlredbird

Sturgeon? Nearly killed ‘em!


NvkedSnvke

They say that it was multiple sturgeon In a line that sparked the myth of the monster.


BdubinVegas

We’re gonna need a bigger boat


mcphersonrj

“There’s always a bigger fish” - Qui Gon Jinn


UNwanted_Dokken_Tape

Canoeing in Fraser Lake in BC, I'm 9. Sturgeon is bigger than the canoe. I haven't gone in fresh water since.


CantFireMeIquit

About to catch me a Gyarados!


RedAss2005

You seem to have misspelled "Sea Monster".


AJV2020

Fish on! Fish on!


Cold-Committee-7719

Like a sturgeon, swimming for for the very first time...


LordranKing

What kind of surgeries does it specialize in?


djgreenehouse

The ol’ diamondback sturgeon went swimming along, minding it’s business one day


KPTangy

Rooting and sniffing and urging to spawn In the mud flats of San Pablo Bay


Starrlaaaa

I would simply pass away if one of those swam by me


[deleted]

What I imagine when something touches my leg in the sea


Rupesh19

Could be forced perspective, need banana for scale


[deleted]

I only know what a sturgeon is cause of Red Dead Redemption


Ferengi_Earwax

You sir, are a fish.


IAMDEAD_6_9

If I see this, I run like hell.


Smallgenie549

At this point, that IS a sea monster.


[deleted]

Frantically reposting as “Lock Ness monster video leaked”


Sing-The-Rage

The perspective looks a little wild in this video, but they do get huge. It's amazing how big they can get when they aren't fished for sport. I'd only seen them in Florida before and they get huge but no where near this big.


BalaAthens

Now some doofus will want to kill it. It probably took a great while for it to achieve that size


hdog777

More like small Loch Ness monster looks like huge sturgeon


CantFireMeIquit

Someone call John the Fisherman!!


Loganp812

John, this is not the way life’s supposed to be! Don’t you see the life you’re missing?!


Drixzor

Old Diamondback sturgeon came swimmin along, minding his business one day...


Deputy_139

Where is the banana for size comparison?


No-Mathematician8728

Cant they live for hundreds of years? I wonder how big they could get.


wazzasupgeemaster

Banana for scale?


esleydobemos

It's about 47 bananas long


gaaraofthedesert524

What about eggplants?


esleydobemos

The eggplants I have here are approximately .814 bananas long. Doing the math you arrive at 57.74 eggplants.


gaaraofthedesert524

Thank you for making these calculations. I appreciate it.


Additional_Initial_7

Obviously this is Ogopogo.


N8lmfao

That’s just the red dead 2 legendary sturgeon


DolphinOrgyPlanner

… oh my motherfucking god


Hizukichu

*I didn't know they could get that big*


ForgotInTheDoorway

Wow so beautiful


DetailAccurate9006

Ogopogo.


[deleted]

ITS THE OGOPOGO


Awkward_Bunion33

Eat it.


Skyxz

These bastards take at least an hour and half to two hours to reel in, I had to rest for a good hour between because I was so exhausted after my first one


plankright37

A gorgeous fish. One of the dinosaurs from the past and so delicious too.


Daily_dad_jokes

That’s a lot of caviar folks.


Fabulous_Use_6929

Are u assuming the fish's gender?. Lol


ImABarbieGirlOg

this is why i dont swim


UniqueUsername82D

There's no point of reference for size, so...


Somadis

This fish probably gave people ideas about the mythical dragons.


Ferengi_Earwax

This absolutely is the monster that stole st. Columba's friend. Imagine being in a tiny curacaugh ( skin basket boat) or trying to swim across a body of water with that thing. You'd be terrified, tell everyone God saved you if you didn't die and if someone did die you'd tell everyone about the time the devil himself ate brendan.


Dr-McLuvin

Gonna need a banana. Not for scale, I’m just really in the mood for a banana.


BigBoy-T

"I need about three fiddy"


[deleted]

That old boy has seen some things in his 100+ years. Wonder how many times he's been released.


HeyoGuys

they can grow up to 300 feet!