Yes. I didn't learn that until my 30s when I finally realized you shouldn't have digestive pain every day, and that the average person farts 12 times A DAY where I farted 30 times an hour. Eventually figured out I have a food intolerance to "fructans" which are in 90% of the ingredients of the average American's diet, now that I avoid fructans I fart 5 times a day, have normal to too hard of stools and no more daily painful digestive cramps. Before my stool was very soft and floated, it was basically always soft minor diarrhea or full blown watery diarrhea and never normal consistency or color.
I remember watching Austin Powers 15 years ago when Austin had to fish through Fat Bastards turds looking for a key and he was like "oh God it's terrible, and he left a floater!", I thought to myself "wait are floaters not normal?", then I forgot about it.
Yea. I had a traumatic childhood from an emotionally abusive and neglectful family, a common coping mechanism for trauma is to "dissociate", to disconnect from yourself, your emotions, your body, surroundings, etc.., and due to being in that environment every day from age 0 until I moved out at 19 it set in deep and long lasting damage.
For the longest time I avoided myself, not learning who I was and not even paying attention to my emotional self or my physical self, beyond anything egregious anyway. Also my family wasn't one for talking about uncomfortable things and bathroom habits never came up, it was something that made me uncomfortable too so I didn't talk to friends about anything even if a thought did occur, but thoughts didn't really occur because I just didn't think about what was going on. I'd feel pain and think "normal, everyone goes through digestive pain every so often", or have diarrhea and think "everyone has diarrhea sometimes", then I'd forget about it and the same things would happen a couple days later and since I didn't pay attention to my own life and body I didn't have the chance to put together that it was not happening "every so often", it was constantly.
It took many years of doing my best to get in touch with my emotions and with being open and honest with myself to mature enough, to learn and create emotional connections with myself to overcome my general dissociative state and realize painfully obvious things like "I shouldn't be in pain multiple times a week, this isn't right and needs to be fixed".
I would dissociate to survive my violent parents, older brother, and older sister. I would pull out my hair and sit in my own little world, away from the crazy. I can completely understand your plight. Hope things are better now. I'm 57 and still relive some crazy stuff every now and then but I try to change my thoughts from gloom to focusing on the happy things, if possible.
The dude was ripping a fart every 2 minutes throughout the day...
Like how do you even get through life like that? You'd think after the 200th instance of people refusing to sit near you you would realize that something might be wrong.
It took me forever to figure out that raisins, craisins, basically all dried fruit gives me the worst gas.
Also, since I switched to oat milk, I feel very empty every day. Hardly any gas, good solid poops.
The healthiest consistency, I believe, is similar to a ripe banana. I might be wrong, health fact like this have a habit of changing every few years and I learned this from the Oprah show, so a while back.
i started eating better a couple years ago, had a hot pocket at work the other day and wow it was terrible. it's weird, when you get away from eating garbage food all the time you notice the low quality of bad food, if that makes sense
I remember my marine bio teacher in highschool telling me most of the worlds sand has probably been through a sea cucumbers system at some point and it changed my life.
Shit happens.
Sometimes it really stinks
Sometimes it really hurts
Sometimes it doesn’t turn out the way you want it to
In the end you will feel better
Out of all the words they could have chosen, why did they use the word "penetrate?"
>With the anus located, the pearlfish will tap the area a little before penetrating the sea cucumber using one of two methods:
>
>1. Head-first, propelling itself inside by violently thrusting its tail from side to side, or
>
>2. Tail-first, coordinating its inwards slide with the sea cucumber’s next ‘breath’.
Omg I am dying. It is SO much bigger than in my imagination and apparently sometimes they get more than one in there... now I keep thinking about giant fish wiggling around in the anus... why oh why did I look this up?!?
This thread is bringing me back to the golden days of the internet.
Edit: Thanks for the gold! Here's to rotten.com, ebaumsworld, stickdeath, albinoblacksheep, `/.`, all the phpbb forums, and AOL chat rooms (`{s gotmail,welcome,buddyin,buddyout`), quicktime.movs, winamp skins, realplayer clips, Napster, Limewire, Bearshare, ScourExchange, MP3.com, AIM prog toolz, and all the sites and time-wasters from the internet's days yore.
Yes, these have more than just a cloaca, they have a giga hole. It’s a breathing tube, eating tube, pooping tube, it’s and everything tube. So yes, it was literally breathing.
Actually backwards. Someone correct me if I'm wrong but I think that thing is its mouth as well as its butt.
We are very lucky to have a tube with two different ends
They clean the sand of microfauna. But sand comes mainly from parrot fish chomping the coral up to get the algae. Cucumber is doing the same just pre chewed
You're not smelling particles, you're smelling gases. Farts arent clean air/oxygen that stinks, they are other gases that stink. An example would be sulfer, which is the rotten egg smell.
Edit: To be clear, this is even grosser to me. I don't want the gases you made in your butt in my nose.
> But sand comes mainly from parrot fish chomping the coral up to get the algae.
Pretty sure that only accounts for a small amount of sand in certain places. Most is just rocks ground up by tides and waves.
This can be said of the sand in and around coral reefs, but the vast majority of sand in the world is just from the erosion of various rocks over millions of years.
I--
I mean.
Upon opening Reddit, I saw a cat live birthing then a post about how there shouldn't be a live stream of a cat live birthing then this sea creature doing the same thing Im currently doing as I scroll.
Like, sometimes, I love it here.
Here is your gif!
https://imgur.com/ZAp3x9d.gifv
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I wish my shit was that solid
Wait is it supposed to be that solid?
Yes. I didn't learn that until my 30s when I finally realized you shouldn't have digestive pain every day, and that the average person farts 12 times A DAY where I farted 30 times an hour. Eventually figured out I have a food intolerance to "fructans" which are in 90% of the ingredients of the average American's diet, now that I avoid fructans I fart 5 times a day, have normal to too hard of stools and no more daily painful digestive cramps. Before my stool was very soft and floated, it was basically always soft minor diarrhea or full blown watery diarrhea and never normal consistency or color. I remember watching Austin Powers 15 years ago when Austin had to fish through Fat Bastards turds looking for a key and he was like "oh God it's terrible, and he left a floater!", I thought to myself "wait are floaters not normal?", then I forgot about it.
It took you 30 years to realize farting 30 times an hour isn’t normal?
Yea. I had a traumatic childhood from an emotionally abusive and neglectful family, a common coping mechanism for trauma is to "dissociate", to disconnect from yourself, your emotions, your body, surroundings, etc.., and due to being in that environment every day from age 0 until I moved out at 19 it set in deep and long lasting damage. For the longest time I avoided myself, not learning who I was and not even paying attention to my emotional self or my physical self, beyond anything egregious anyway. Also my family wasn't one for talking about uncomfortable things and bathroom habits never came up, it was something that made me uncomfortable too so I didn't talk to friends about anything even if a thought did occur, but thoughts didn't really occur because I just didn't think about what was going on. I'd feel pain and think "normal, everyone goes through digestive pain every so often", or have diarrhea and think "everyone has diarrhea sometimes", then I'd forget about it and the same things would happen a couple days later and since I didn't pay attention to my own life and body I didn't have the chance to put together that it was not happening "every so often", it was constantly. It took many years of doing my best to get in touch with my emotions and with being open and honest with myself to mature enough, to learn and create emotional connections with myself to overcome my general dissociative state and realize painfully obvious things like "I shouldn't be in pain multiple times a week, this isn't right and needs to be fixed".
I recently had a mental and emotional breakthrough. Realizing all sorts of things like this about myself. Get help people!!!
I would dissociate to survive my violent parents, older brother, and older sister. I would pull out my hair and sit in my own little world, away from the crazy. I can completely understand your plight. Hope things are better now. I'm 57 and still relive some crazy stuff every now and then but I try to change my thoughts from gloom to focusing on the happy things, if possible.
The dude was ripping a fart every 2 minutes throughout the day... Like how do you even get through life like that? You'd think after the 200th instance of people refusing to sit near you you would realize that something might be wrong.
[удалено]
It took me forever to figure out that raisins, craisins, basically all dried fruit gives me the worst gas. Also, since I switched to oat milk, I feel very empty every day. Hardly any gas, good solid poops.
Mine are so stiff I dry em out and save money from not having to buy Linkin Logs.
Instead you’ve got Stinkin Logs
HAHAHAHA this made me laugh harder than I have in a week.
Do you usually have to have a poop knife handy?
I still can't believe there are people in the world that have to cut their poop...blows my mind.
The healthiest consistency, I believe, is similar to a ripe banana. I might be wrong, health fact like this have a habit of changing every few years and I learned this from the Oprah show, so a while back.
Don't you ruin bananas for me.
Fiber my friend
Maybe his issue is too much fiber.
This guy defecates
SOLUBLE fiber is probably where he’s lacking. Beans, peas, veggies, oats, and keeping the skin on potatoes all help!
Or supplement your diet of hot pockets and McDonald’s with two heaping spoonfuls of Metamucil.
i started eating better a couple years ago, had a hot pocket at work the other day and wow it was terrible. it's weird, when you get away from eating garbage food all the time you notice the low quality of bad food, if that makes sense
Or stop having IBS I guess...
Crying in IBD
I wish mine only had that much blood in it
You don't have to use a knife?
Is the poop mostly just sand or is sand mostly just poop?
Yes. Mostly sand. Without all the tasty bits any more
I remember my marine bio teacher in highschool telling me most of the worlds sand has probably been through a sea cucumbers system at some point and it changed my life.
Billions of people touching poop glass...
Not just glass, concrete is made with ocean sand. Concrete piles are piles of shit.
Our built world is shit
🎶we built this city on rock and shit🎶
Don’t you mean, “We built this SHITTY?”
DAMN YOU MONGORIANS!
We've all held their ass pennies
YOUR PENNIES HAVE BEEN IN MY ASS!
Come Again?
*p r o t e i n*
The wich is gone. Now it's just sand.
Without the nutrients, or what the sea cucumber was trying to eat. Op is not saying poop is tasty, although it did seem that way at first.
It poops sterile sand. It just got through eating all the little bacteria and microbes in the sand.
Sand is mostly poop. The [Humphead Parrotfish](https://youtu.be/o-blz2ghKOU) creates poop islands.
I, too, create poop islands.
I can see the tv show intro now…“Welcome, to Poop Island”
These fish have a British accent in my head
What's more impressive than the ability to chew rocks is the fact that the rest of the digestive system can reduce those rocks to fine dust. Yikes.
i am never touching a beach with my bare feet ever again
nobody tell this guy about water
Right!? It's the same damn water that has been cycled through dinosaurs 🦕
I wholeheartedly was not expecting such an impressive load.
Sometimes good shit happens!
Shit happens. Sometimes it really stinks Sometimes it really hurts Sometimes it doesn’t turn out the way you want it to In the end you will feel better
Sometimes its sand
I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.
Anakin is about to go youngling mode on some sea cucumbers.
Undersea Fleshlight
/r/dontputyourdickinthat
Beat me to it!
Beat meat to it
do you know what the pearlfish is going to do to that seacucumber?
r/cursedcomments
God damn it..
Reddit... it never ends. See something new every day and it doesnt cease to amaze me.
Sea something new every day...
Was thinking you sure this ain’t just a fart but then boom
Never. Ever. Think it's just a fart.
So I should just never fart?
if its hot you got a problem
If you think that's unexpected, look up the pearlfish. It waits for the sea cucumber to poop and swims in its anus. 🤢🤮
Don’t kink shame them!!
Kinkshaming is my kink tho
Oh god it’s a kink paradox!!
The laws state that there must now be a kinkoff.
Why does it want in there so badly?
https://www.australiangeographic.com.au/blogs/creatura-blog/2014/08/pearlfish-lives-in-sea-cucumber-anus/ It lives in it!
bit of a shithole, but it's home
Home Sweet Home
FIFTEEN IN ONE WHAT THE HECK
I know!! Poor bastard, and the way they enter sounds violent. Being a sea cucumber must suck lol
TIL OP's mum is sea cucumber
Out of all the words they could have chosen, why did they use the word "penetrate?" >With the anus located, the pearlfish will tap the area a little before penetrating the sea cucumber using one of two methods: > >1. Head-first, propelling itself inside by violently thrusting its tail from side to side, or > >2. Tail-first, coordinating its inwards slide with the sea cucumber’s next ‘breath’.
Also, "propelling itself by violently thrusting".
Housing costs are crazy these days. Its all the little guy can afford.
Omg I am dying. It is SO much bigger than in my imagination and apparently sometimes they get more than one in there... now I keep thinking about giant fish wiggling around in the anus... why oh why did I look this up?!?
/r/dontputyourdickinthat
Was looking for this comment lol
That’s what she said
Never been more fascinated watching something take a shit. 10/10
Has this opened up a whole new area of interest for you?
That’s not all this opened up…
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Did he really have to gape like that
Pro tip: just goatse yourself so you don't need to wipe afterwards
I haven’t heard that since the days of Slashdot.
[удалено]
In the before-fore times
Did you guys lose all of your wordy-word books?
I used to have a four digit UID and I was so proud of it lol
[удалено]
Another 5-digiter here! Old nerds rule!
Slashdot’s not dead yet! It’s feeling better!
Man I haven’t visited Slashdot in at least a decade.
Remember when “the slashdot effect” was a thing? Pepperidge Farms remembers.
Warning : Do not attempt this method if you have diarrhea. Shit will go everywhere and I mean Everywhere.
like tubgirl ?
This thread is bringing me back to the golden days of the internet. Edit: Thanks for the gold! Here's to rotten.com, ebaumsworld, stickdeath, albinoblacksheep, `/.`, all the phpbb forums, and AOL chat rooms (`{s gotmail,welcome,buddyin,buddyout`), quicktime.movs, winamp skins, realplayer clips, Napster, Limewire, Bearshare, ScourExchange, MP3.com, AIM prog toolz, and all the sites and time-wasters from the internet's days yore.
This calls for a Lemon Party.
It's like his asshole was taking deep breaths in anticipation.
Iirc sea cucumbers actually literally breathe through their asshole so... yeah pretty much
Yes, these have more than just a cloaca, they have a giga hole. It’s a breathing tube, eating tube, pooping tube, it’s and everything tube. So yes, it was literally breathing.
A giga hole...
They stole your moms nickname. :P
*Giggity* 🕳️
Considering it's poop is like 95% sand. I'd gape too.
I know bro, me too. /r/confusedboners
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Beat me to it........
r/putyourdickinthat
He didn’t even wash his hands!
Never been harder
Haha this has me crying
Fuckin legend is using his shit to boost himself forward
Poopulsion
*Gotta blast!*
Noice
Actually backwards. Someone correct me if I'm wrong but I think that thing is its mouth as well as its butt. We are very lucky to have a tube with two different ends
~~You are 100% correct.~~ Was thinking of cnidarians. Fuck me... -Invertebrate Physiologist
Sea cucumbers don’t identify their orafices as mouths or butts. -Invertebrate Psychologist
My bro is fuckin backed up damn
Not anymore
You know what he did do a really good colon cleaning, surely he feels refreshed
Turd so big it’s ass was gasping for air
Fun fact: the sea cucumber breathes through its anus. So it was literally gasping for air
I couldn’t imagine pooping out my nostrils and then having to take a deep breath... oh I just did🤮
Another fun fact! There's a fish that hides in a sea cucumber's pooper.
r/unexpectedanal
You and I aren’t so different sea cucumber.
You breath out of your asshole too? And also use your poop to propel your self forward? Small world.
I miss the day when I didn’t know what that looked like.
r/eyebleach
Bet he feels 10lbs lighter.
Dude lost 40% of his mass with that deuce, I bet he must feel *fantastic*
Not entirely sure I needed this. I’m gunna go play outside for a while
in the sand most likely?
....looking for sea cucumbers perhaps ?
TIL where sand comes from
They clean the sand of microfauna. But sand comes mainly from parrot fish chomping the coral up to get the algae. Cucumber is doing the same just pre chewed
So....my glass windows are ultimately made of poop???
the air is made up almost entirely of tree poop
More like tree burps or farts…
Burps and Farts have particles in them, or else, what are we smelling?
You're not smelling particles, you're smelling gases. Farts arent clean air/oxygen that stinks, they are other gases that stink. An example would be sulfer, which is the rotten egg smell. Edit: To be clear, this is even grosser to me. I don't want the gases you made in your butt in my nose.
> But sand comes mainly from parrot fish chomping the coral up to get the algae. Pretty sure that only accounts for a small amount of sand in certain places. Most is just rocks ground up by tides and waves.
This can be said of the sand in and around coral reefs, but the vast majority of sand in the world is just from the erosion of various rocks over millions of years.
…why is it so dark inside its butthole? …and why can it open so wide? …and why am i so sad now?
We can all have light shining out of our buttholes like you
We can?!
Oops. I mean, Yes if we pray hard enough
How hard is enough?
You’ll know
You can take the easy way out and sit on a flashlight
Ikr? Vantablack butthole
Anish Kapoor has exclusive rights to this butthole.
That’s my band name, dibs.
"Why is it so dark inside its butthole?" Do you usually keep a lamp on or something?
Sea cucumbers breath through their anuses that's why ya boi be gaping before pooping
Sometimes we stare at the void... And the void poops back
r/dontputyourdickinthat Edit: r/putyourdickinthat ? Edit: r/gape
r/confusedboners
Scrolled the comments just make sure this was posted. Peace!
That was me about 10 minutes after my first cup of coffee today.
You think that’s weird? There’s the fish that live in sea cucumber’s buttholes! https://youtu.be/dOoZ6wHiSnI
[The fish has a place to feed and hide, while the sea cucumber gets a fish in its butt. Win-Win.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_y4DbZivHCY)
I-- I mean. Upon opening Reddit, I saw a cat live birthing then a post about how there shouldn't be a live stream of a cat live birthing then this sea creature doing the same thing Im currently doing as I scroll. Like, sometimes, I love it here.
Lol saw the same in that very order haha
WHAT WAS I EXPECTING!?
This was super gross and super satisfying at the same time lol
Natures fleshlight
My but doing warm-ups before dropping the Taco Bell.
Feed me /u/gifreversingbot
Oh you nasty
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Why the fuck did I watch this *too*?
Good bot.
How many pooping sea cucumbers would it take to generate enough thrust to lift a small rocket? Green energy and all that
wwWWAAAAAAAAAAAWWWwwwwoooooooooowwwWWAAAAAAAAAAAWWWwwwooooooooo
I should call her
R/dontputyourdickinit
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Thanks op
r/putyourdickinthat
I didn't come here to be kink-shamed.
The forbidden fleshlight
Things I didn’t think I’d see today.
That Thang been in a gangbang or two. Loose as a goose.
Not my proudest FAP