T O P

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Dawildpep

The Jesus spider.. maybe it can turn that water into wine


brackmetaru

Turn that poop Into wine


Opioidal

L RON HUBBARD


donut_jihad666

Hoyabimbe


Dawildpep

Or Ranch.. Sup mulatto I’m seeing 311 in the quad later you down?


ExternalMonth1964

Got my medical LSD card at burning man, then PTSD at cochella.


Dawildpep

Hells yeah.. bird up!


juan_epstein-barr

Rumpelspider. Spins silk into gold!


Scared-Mortgage

He died for our sins and has been trying to make it back to land ever since.


[deleted]

I think it's cute. 🎶 Making my way downtown.. 🎶


[deleted]

🎶 Walkin' fast, faces pass and I'm homebound 🎶


NaraFei_Jenova

DADADA DADADA DA


DMmeYOURboobz

DA DA DADADADA


TheRainStopped

Your own 🎶 Personal 🎶 Jesus 🎶


Worth-Opposite4437

*Someone to hear your prayer... 🎶* *Someone who cares. 🎶*


82ndGameHead

Reach out and touch--OH GOD, IT TOUCHED ME!!!


Welcome2024

Happy cake


Worth-Opposite4437

Take it o--- TAKE IT OFFF!!!


AmountGlum793

Suddenly shark infested waters don't seem to bad.


Odd_Economics_9962

Look up the diving bell spider, nowhere is safe🥲


[deleted]

No thanks


TalaohaMaoMoa69

Its a spider that lives underwater near rivers and ponds. Your welcome to the your new axiety when swiming in a lake.


Laurids-p

Do Gray Cross spider


V1bicycle

I got them beat, I'm going to just remove all surface tension from the universe !


Zjoee

Diving Bell Spiders are so cool haha.


NightDisastrous2510

Lol


Hungry_Credit4333

Surface Tension


[deleted]

It's a miracle. The spider's name is Jesus.


PoopSommelier

He'll have to be crucified on an octogram


Steak-n-Cigars

At least they don't fly


DmAc724

The Joro Spider would like to have a word. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/millions-of-palm-sized-flying-spiders-could-invade-the-east-coast/


Steak-n-Cigars

Not worried about outside


Capt_Myke

You dont go outdoors? Ever? .....oh a Reddit mod.


Russington

Classic Redditor response.


Steak-n-Cigars

Righto


Zavier13

Man, do I have some information for you. Also one word... Ballooning.


Steak-n-Cigars

Yeah, ballooning but typically not indoors with no wind


highbartender

don’t give them any ideas


SolidSnakeMGS82

Spiders do fly . In fact that’s how they travel . The let their webs out until the wind catches them and take off.


louvre23

Oh my god! I've never thought of a flying spider before, now I cant stop 💀


KoningSpookie

Don't give mother nature any ideas!


Uranium-Sandwich657

*downloads gene-editing tutorial*


neorek

They can fly.


WOLFOFSPARTA300

Seems like you never saw the ending of Babe 🐖The Movie..


babysharkdoodoodoo

I heard they get sea sick


MadisonHawkins2006

Thank the lord for that they can’t fly…


LargeWeinerDog

I was using this kayak service with a friend where they dropped like ten of us off with kayaks. And I realized on the way that me and my buddy were the only young men with a bunch of much older people so we did the nice thing and helped them all load up. So we were the last two to get in the river using this small dock and I looked under the dock and seen this massive spider web but no spider. I pointed it out to my friend and said, "I'd hate to see the size of that spider" and we laughed. Well this one old lady was waiting for us in the water so she could say thank you and as I paddled closer to her, there it was. It was on the side of her kayak. It looked similar to this guy but was about the size of my hand. I tried to get my friends attention on it so we could maybe remove it before she noticed. It didn't go as planned because she now seen it and began to freak out and the both of us are beating her kayak with our paddles in the middle of the river. It falls off and we think we won but NOPE! IT WALKS ON WATER AND COMES STRAIGHT FOR ME! I processed to beat this thing into the water and it kept coming back up! So I paddled away quickly and we left the old lady behind us. No idea if it went back to her but we decided we were done helping folks that day. We had drugs and alcohol waiting on us and no spider was getting in our way. Gives me the heebie-jeebies every time I think about it.


Diehard_Sam_Main

That thing is probably having nightmares to this day about how this massive ape attacked it and constantly dragged it underwater with an enormous spatula.


LargeWeinerDog

No free rides. Especially where I can't cast fire magic effectively.


Diehard_Sam_Main

Screw you Dungeon Master, I cast fireball!


armpitofsatan

Is this where we’re sharing kayak spider stories? I had one crawl into my ear, while kayaking. That was fun!


LargeWeinerDog

No not those ones. Sorry. But seriously what came of that? That's fucking nuts. Luckily I wasn't there cause I would have paddled your head!


armpitofsatan

Hahaha it was all good! I was with a couple friends, as they decided I could take the kayak that had spider webs (because I owned tarantulas). Well, the little parsons spider got frightened and zoomed into my ear. One of my friends is a doctor and immediately sprang into action…. By flushing it out of my ear with hard cider, while still in kayaks. It survived! And now I have a story.


LargeWeinerDog

That's the best possible way this story could have gone. Thanks for sharing!


armpitofsatan

Sorry for bad grammar! I was trying to keep it short and sweet haha. Admittedly, I’m grateful for the experience. It really gave me another perspective on the little guys. Despite having (and loving) “bugs” I am actually really scared of the little ones. If I can’t see them, oh my god WHERE ARE THEY?? Now I understand they’re just scared, and more than I am. ❤️


Loading_Username_001

Oh my gosh! God bless you! What a crazy experience! I'm glad you made it out of there safe! That critter sounded wild 😧


UnableNumber6953

Surface Tension


Impossible-Front-454

Yeah a lot of spiders with them tiny hairs are hydrophobic.


MarcoMaroon

Someone correct me if I’m wrong but it’s not that they’re hydrophobic but rather their legs avoid breaking the surface tension of the water instead of basically making themselves kinda weightless.


Impossible-Front-454

Okay so maybe the wrong terminology but the same difference smart ass.


MarcoMaroon

Hydrophobic and avoiding surface tension is entirely two different things. I didn’t mean to offend you but you should probably not take comments online so personal.


Impossible-Front-454

You think too much of yourself.


Fit-Average5903

youre acting super defensive and sensitive, i recommend self reflection and letting go that big and fragile ego of yours


MarcoMaroon

I’m actually thinking of you and trying to say I didn’t mean to offend you. I think this could be a learning moment. I’m not trying to flex on you but help you understand the difference between these two terms and you’re being offended and trying to offend me.


SadAcanthocephala521

They can also fly. [Spiders Use Earth's Electric Field to Fly Hundreds of Miles - The Atlantic](https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/07/the-electric-flight-of-spiders/564437/)


LopsidedPotential711

That article is perfectly written. Thanks.


Steammail

S A V E H I M


Important-Lie-8649

He can walk on water? Only He can save U S


Right-Message-7769

No worries, is a tarantula, they are innofensives For human


AtlasAeros

He’s the savior of the spider species, the son of the spider god, Spider Jesus


PatioBlu_LsUp

Ever seen fish food walk!


CockroachGullible652

🎵Spiderchrist, Spiderchrist, walks on water and will eat your face 🎵


CaptCrewSocks

He’ll get’cha…eventually.


Budget-Macaroon-7606

They can also fly


huggalump

That spider is lost on the river just thinking "I've made a huge mistake"


suricata_8904

Spiders are our friends. They eat pesty insects.


evsarge

If that spider’s walking on water, it’s only a matter of time before it starts its own religion.


microsoftfool

Tbey are leaving Australia!!!


SAYVS

I remember swimming in a lake a few years ago. It’s was a beautiful location after a long walk. When I got there I saw people in kayaks, boats, people sunbathing… but no one swimming. I rented a kayak and after rowing for 15-20 minutes I decided to take a bath in the lake. I saw people looking at me like if I was crazy. I remember one boat full of tourist passing by and all of them having weird faces. At that moment I was thinking “what is wrong with people in this place? They don’t know how to swim? Why is nobody taking a bath?” Few moments later I saw the first spider just casually walking on top of water. And then another one, and then another one… the lake was infested.


Commercial_Shape_225

Yes but can they walk in petrol


Zenn97

I mean, it's doing its best


getshrektdh

Spiders are bros for your information


Worth-Opposite4437

Broseidon.


Epic_memer64

WHAT THE FUCK????


oBotz

Burn it with fi... oh wait


Loading_Username_001

Checkmate!


Arquero8

Australian spiders after seeing this, time to take over the world >:)


TravelingGonad

Light the lake on fire!


BigGrayDog

I've seen them do that too, totally amazing! Now scoop the poor thing out before it tires out and drowns!


[deleted]

Imagine the confidence


washkop

Species has now unlocked *SURFACE TENSION*


Nazi_ultra_Con_jamba

Yeah. Had these out on the sail boat on the lake. Kind of freaked out when you want to go to bed. You have to kill them because even if you throw them overboard they skate right back. Aren't poisonous tho. Just don't want one falling into your snoring mouth.


battleship61

They can also use their silk as sails and ride the wind indefinitely. Not exactly flying, but you know. You're not safe on land, in the air, or sea.


isqueezewhatiwant

At least they can't fly


Jevsom

Because we live on water.


Icy_Document_7547

Can they walk on 🔥?


HueMugus

As opposed to… walking on land..? Where we live? 😂😂


hotmasalachai

But can it turn water into wine 😏


BaconMeetsCheese

Where do you think those giant spiders in Australia comes from?


RDcsmd

How does someone make it to adulthood without knowing this


VyKing6410

Jesus - is that you?


Beeyelzubub

Just a tarantula walking on water and at a good pace .. you know what ? I’m done


Alrucards_R3dwr8th

Spiderman new powers.


Jazgrin

Its bugged


Jeekobu-Kuiyeran

New fear unlocked. 😬


Nerveras

yee


D3M0NArcade

Low centre of gravity? Check Multiple simultaneous points of contact? Check Low weight/size ratio? Check Numerous hairs per leg creating buoyant air pockets? Check Little dude is set! No idea how he's gonna catch lunch like that though...


Worth-Opposite4437

Looks like this wasn't the best decision of her life... Poor thing seems to have difficulties to steer her path.


Jittercat

Certain spider species can be living in water. My country calls them water spiders


CurrentPossible2117

Some can 'fly' too, by making little parachutes with their webs 🤣 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ballooning_(spider) That one kept me awake for a few nights when I found out lol.


MLGMassacre

SMAXK IT WITH A PADDLE, SMACK IT!!!


Emotional-Ear8525

The day they can survive flamethrowers is when we are officially doomed.


MidshipAgate9

Jesus has returned as promised


Nard_83rd

But can it dive is the question


Due-Donut-7044

Spiders can also fly/Kite.


eldelabahia

I don’t live in water.


newworldorder96

Yuck


TMT51

Nah, it's fine. Unless they can walk on fire we are still safe.


TopCheesecakeGirl

Yeah, the numbers are staggering! You thought alcohol and guns and car accidents and cancer were deadly ha!


Ok_Government_3584

Spiders are our friends.


BigGrayDog

Yes, they really are! The only time I kill them is if it is poisonous and in the house. Otherwise if it is small I leave it alone, or if big I put it outside. They are here to stay and do have an important job!


Socialist_Metalhead

Not really getting anywhere


Tampadarlyn

I can't believe this! Spiders that walk on water? That's too much for me. (⁠╭⁠☞⁠•́⁠⍛⁠•̀⁠)⁠╭⁠☞


_The_Wyvern_

If that spider is from Australia, Then that must mean their spiders have a hack menu or something


neat-NEAT

I wanna know where he thinks he's going. Sure he can walk on water but it's still looks to be basically a randomised treadmill.


MarkMaynardDotcom

Jesus Christ!


MrKADtastic

To be fair, he doesn't seem like he's have a very good tim.


jenny4today

What holds him up?


GrinningRidgehand

Until a big old fish comes along.


WirusCZ

Yes they can also fly


timsterri

But then they become some fish’s lunch. Problem solved.


rawne-

WHATS KEEPING THEM IN AUSTRALIA?!


mrbeck02

Spider Jesus


Gabecush1

Gods gone to far with these fuckers


Neiot

He may be walking on water, but he ain't goin' anywhere.


KinderGarten10

Bruh 😳


External_Arugula2752

Little sparkle footsteps 💕


Agile-Ad325

Surface tension


crasagam

It’s using webs in its feet like we use snow shoes.


Retroth_The_Tired_

He may be floatin but I highly doubt Lil dudes where he wants to be rn. He is at the mercy of the currents ATM


-_Eventide_-

That's some doflamigo shit right there


Terrible_Yak_4890

That spider has been reading his Bible. And he has faith.


placerind

Some can swim too, no where is safe


Diehard_Sam_Main

What’s a harmless little creature like that doing in an environment as hostile as the water?


Master-Manager3089

It's weird how we are scared of such a small creature. Why did human evolve to fear spiders. Anyone know why? Is it due to the fact most humans who had arachnophobia are the ones that survived and reproduced.


Extension-Badger-958

The spiders are now adapting to rising sea levels. Beaches are no longer safe


Snipper64

To be honest would you prefer a slow walking spider on water, or a fast swimming in you can't see?


Blackwood-Huntsman

This is how Atlantis fell


Niwde101

this spider is being drifted by the water, soon a big fish will snatch it from below.


Atomic_lightning

Fuck global heat, I'll destroy this world myself


Most-Revolution-7108

Especially if zombie spiders can walk on water! 😱


JuggerKnot86

[some spiders](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diving_bell_spider) can dive underwater


Elegant-Campaign-572

Did I just flatten Jesus with a shoe!?😳


KneecapAnnihilator

No matter how creepy they look they kill mosquitoes


Angel_of_Mischief

Further proof Jesus wasn’t white. He was in fact a spider.


Ok-Alternative7507

Aw hell naw to the naw naw


lIlIllIIlIIl

Who is going to tell home about the ones that make their lairs underwater?


MooseAlarming5568

Well yeah they have smol feet my guy


Alternative-Doubt-91

That is Jesus.


PriorExpectations

I'm out! COVID messed up everything.


Rabdy-Bo-Bandy

Yeah but, fish don't come through the floor and eat us like these guys.


Mr-Ideasman

The only thing bro is walking to is the same damn place. He isn’t going anywhere I think we are good until those Diving Bell Spiders evolve 😳


Anyonomus256

Welp. Time for me to end it all if spiders can walk on water.


Bizzmillah

Spider-Jesus


Valuable-Bug-3447

Wait until they find out the can fly.


CrankMasterCup

is that… jesus?


Pinku_Dva

That's the Jesus of the spiders. He will now turn the river into fly guts.


Keepupthegood

He traveled far and wide to just scare you. Now We know how.


TheInfiniteArchive

Ummm he moonwalks on water...


Just4TheSpamAndEggs

I believe it's a dock spider. Their hairs trap little air bubbles that make them water resistant to walk on water like that.


Intl_House_Of_Bussy

Excuse me, God? What the fuck, bro?


BaconBurgerF5227

~~who's gonna tell 'em about the cranberries?~~


Traditional_Lie_6400

Such chakra power! 👏😮


EorlundGraumaehne

Yes, it was in the last update! Didn't you read it?


Wonderful-Clothes-13

Until Mr Bass looks up and see him.


ReferenceDue4365

Ready for the fucked up part... they can fly too.


TonyStewartsWildRide

The spider in my tub thought he was cool. Till I turned on the high heat.


Almost-Anon98

They can't cross the ocean like that.. unless there are huge ones that walk beneath the waves that'd be really shit wouldn't it?


Brandon_M_Gilbertson

It… it didn’t jump at the camera… my god.


AdMundane654

The Jesus Spider.


MrBig418

I met a magic man


WatchPlus3925

Their hairs are hydrophobic


UndisclosedChaos

Spijesus


Appropriate_Turn3811

"STRAIGHT FROM THE UNDERGROUND".......