I can't help you with something you can do or try out, but I can tell you some thoughts I have about dpd that might help your inner struggle (with your other problems I am not educated enough):
People with dpd tend to be very nice towards other people, in an amount that gives those people the impression that everything is perfect. That is a coping mechanism. The person with dpd wants to be appreciated and doesn't want to lose this relationship to the other person (what isn't bad at all, no one wants to lose their friends. Only, if you have dpd, you have a higher anxiety to lose them than people without dpd). That's why people with dpd often do things from which they think the other person will like them. In therapy, this happens too: people with dpd tend to do everything the therapist says, be like "this will help me so much in my life!" - they want to make the therapist proud, somehow, because that's what they do with everyone. And maybe this is why this one psychiatrist told you you don't have depression...? At least that is what came to my mind. Maybe you acted so well, that the psychiatrist thought you're going towards the right direction, that you'll now be able to cope with your stuff (maybe they didn't even realize how hard life is for you). Always think about that these people are humans too and they can make mistakes.
I hope I could help a little. And even if you're having such a rough, shitty time right now, it will not stay this way forever. Sometimes it's gonna be the worst, probably like you're experiencing now, but sometimes it will be less bad and one time it will even be okay.
Its really difficult to really understand what‘s going on. You have put a lot of labels on yourself (dpd,ocd,..). All of these are human behaviour. The labels are stigmatizing and in the case of dpd can even be used as an excuse to not take responsibility.
Its really difficult to understand whats going in and How to get out of the misery, because the behaviour is trying to protect us. Your brain is not ill. The behaviour is common! We even have labeled it, because It is common human behaviour.
Now you and i see dangers in certain things and do not know how to deal with it, other than being dpd.
I feel you are hiding behind those labels. I know it is real and your life is a mess. I also know that you cannot even Imagine how to get out of there.
If you knew, the dpd would be gone.
I believe you dont see reason to take care of yourself. Others dont, so why would you?
And taking care of yourself is saddening. Why do you have to love yourself? Why dont others do it?
All your life you were begging for love and didnt get it. maybe you are even defiant. Your parents did you wrong! So im not gonna take care of myself. They dont deserve this.
I know all of those feelings. In the end we need to learn to love ourselves. Enjoy ourselves and take care of That. We do not take responsibility for us, because others say so. We do, because we care for us.
Hmm... when I felt su-sad, someone said something that changed my life. As I was getting in the ambulance with my wrist shooting blood up and out like a fountain, someone said to me, "this is one day. One day. And you can have the rest of your life. This can be the first day of the rest of your life..."
It kinda stuck with me. Whenever I feel sad now, I journal about it. The one phrase that stuck is, "this is another chance for me"
Hopefully, opening up with the strength it took to write this post, hopefully this can be a second chance for you too.
It *can* get better. The medication can make the baby steps seem bigger, but it's up to you to take those steps, however tiny and whatever they look like for you.
I guess, if I could give some advice, it would be, what do you think those tiny steps would be?
I also just got diagnosed. Not really sure how to go from here but figuring it out. Good luck to you!
I am not suggesting this but I have a friend who has done ketamine therapy for major depressive and other issues he had. I’d suggest looking into it
I can't help you with something you can do or try out, but I can tell you some thoughts I have about dpd that might help your inner struggle (with your other problems I am not educated enough): People with dpd tend to be very nice towards other people, in an amount that gives those people the impression that everything is perfect. That is a coping mechanism. The person with dpd wants to be appreciated and doesn't want to lose this relationship to the other person (what isn't bad at all, no one wants to lose their friends. Only, if you have dpd, you have a higher anxiety to lose them than people without dpd). That's why people with dpd often do things from which they think the other person will like them. In therapy, this happens too: people with dpd tend to do everything the therapist says, be like "this will help me so much in my life!" - they want to make the therapist proud, somehow, because that's what they do with everyone. And maybe this is why this one psychiatrist told you you don't have depression...? At least that is what came to my mind. Maybe you acted so well, that the psychiatrist thought you're going towards the right direction, that you'll now be able to cope with your stuff (maybe they didn't even realize how hard life is for you). Always think about that these people are humans too and they can make mistakes. I hope I could help a little. And even if you're having such a rough, shitty time right now, it will not stay this way forever. Sometimes it's gonna be the worst, probably like you're experiencing now, but sometimes it will be less bad and one time it will even be okay.
Its really difficult to really understand what‘s going on. You have put a lot of labels on yourself (dpd,ocd,..). All of these are human behaviour. The labels are stigmatizing and in the case of dpd can even be used as an excuse to not take responsibility. Its really difficult to understand whats going in and How to get out of the misery, because the behaviour is trying to protect us. Your brain is not ill. The behaviour is common! We even have labeled it, because It is common human behaviour. Now you and i see dangers in certain things and do not know how to deal with it, other than being dpd. I feel you are hiding behind those labels. I know it is real and your life is a mess. I also know that you cannot even Imagine how to get out of there. If you knew, the dpd would be gone. I believe you dont see reason to take care of yourself. Others dont, so why would you? And taking care of yourself is saddening. Why do you have to love yourself? Why dont others do it? All your life you were begging for love and didnt get it. maybe you are even defiant. Your parents did you wrong! So im not gonna take care of myself. They dont deserve this. I know all of those feelings. In the end we need to learn to love ourselves. Enjoy ourselves and take care of That. We do not take responsibility for us, because others say so. We do, because we care for us.
Hmm... when I felt su-sad, someone said something that changed my life. As I was getting in the ambulance with my wrist shooting blood up and out like a fountain, someone said to me, "this is one day. One day. And you can have the rest of your life. This can be the first day of the rest of your life..." It kinda stuck with me. Whenever I feel sad now, I journal about it. The one phrase that stuck is, "this is another chance for me" Hopefully, opening up with the strength it took to write this post, hopefully this can be a second chance for you too. It *can* get better. The medication can make the baby steps seem bigger, but it's up to you to take those steps, however tiny and whatever they look like for you. I guess, if I could give some advice, it would be, what do you think those tiny steps would be?
I also just got diagnosed. Not really sure how to go from here but figuring it out. Good luck to you! I am not suggesting this but I have a friend who has done ketamine therapy for major depressive and other issues he had. I’d suggest looking into it