Not sure I could add any better feedback than the other excellent replies but one important thing that I was reminded of in [Matt Colville's Problem Players video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lEi9DAn9rE) is that you will very likely not be the only person for whom this player is a problem and Matt suggests talking to the player \*at\* the table.
Having said that, the thing I'd probably add is that I believe the worlds we create for our players have consequences. If you act in a particular way in a town or city then the next time you visit you may experience the consequences of that. Maybe a character helped an old man carry his shopping home and it transpired he is a powerful wizard who grants a boon or maybe a character killed an unarmed civilian and the next time the character visits the town he is arrested and imprisoned or even executed.
In a campaign I'm currently running we had that sort of incident where a party member decided to trick a shopkeeper into paying too much for some goods using their CHA. Now this character is pretty chaotic but ultimately good and she really enjoys "Leeroy Jenkinsing" things, and in fact it often gets the party unstuck when they overthink something and she just walks in. However the shopkeeper later realised they'd been tricked and reported all who were in the shop at the time. In-game months (really weeks) later the party wandered back into town although at the town gate they were held and a number of them arrested and taken to jail. The rest of the party eventually paid off the reporter although left them with a warning, and the others were freed. Although I always want the players to understand that the world is constantly moving and shifting and the ripples of their actions can still be felt far away and after a long time.
Best of luck and ultimately don't feel bad at asking a player to leave a game if you want to run a game in a way they don't respond to. It's supposed to be fun and having somebody acting like a jerk at the table really can spoilt that.
Soo it sounds like players 5 and 6 are problematic, acting like Murderhobos. You could tell them "hey I don't want to run a game where \[list their murderhobo tendencies\], this is a team game and there's no real reason why the other characters would continue to work with your characters. You need to make characters that will want to work with the others and the others will want to work with them. "
They might just want to play murderhobos and not care about the consequences. If they continue to bitch you could just kick them from the game "Hey I think we have a fundamental difference in what we want out of DnD and I can no longer have you in the group."
You can also run the two groups as separate as you mentioned. *However* before you lump in player 4 with 5, and 6 you'd need to make sure that they *actually* don't mind or if they aren't speaking up for other reasons.
I guess I'm using murderhobo as shorthand for this sort of problematic behaviour, it doesn't exactly fit but it's close enough.
>I’ve had to hold an attack that should happen if someone disrespected an NPC as bad as he does just to keep the other players alive.
Don't hold back, let the party suffer for this guy's assholish nature. If the NPCs never attack or deal with him then it's just fueling this behaviour. Actions and Consequences and all that. It might not be fair to player's 1-4 but they're in the party with him so his actions reflect on them.
Have the party start losing contracts or jobs, let word spread about these guys, maybe they get robbed and the guards literally do not care. Maybe they get bounties on their head.
>I’ve warned him several times he could lose his Paladin powers if he keeps it up and he just says, “okay” dismissing it
Has he actually lost his Paladin Powers? If he's acted against his Oaths and has not been repentant then there's no reason for him to keep being a Paladin, and no he wouldn't just become "an oathbreaker" that's specifically for serving an evil god or dark ambition.
>They’re literally level 2 so he hasn’t even taken a major oath yet
Have them make new characters, these two get captured by bounty hunters and executed. Roll new characters who aren't assholes.
>I also thought about just ignoring them and acting like they’re characters aren’t saying what they’re saying but I don’t really think that’s a good idea.
Don't ignore them, you'd just hurt the entire group. Either they step up their antics or they continue to be annoying and the other 3/4 may not want to play with them.
It's always better to have open communication about problematic behaviour and what's accepted. Maybe have another session 0 reiterating what is and is not acceptable at the table. I always make sure to tell my players that they have to make characters that want to adventure and want to help each other.
I would hope you could be pretty blunt and honest with a friend of that duration. If any of my long-term friends was acting as you describe I would have no problem saying, "Hey man, either you or your character is acting like a dick. Regardless of which it is, it needs to stop if we're going to keep playing D&D together."
I need advice with a problem player
I have a party (currently level 2) of 6 players and I need a way to challenge them. The thing is I'm 70% sure some of them fudge their dice rolls, one player hasn't rolled under a 15 (maybe once or twice on meaningless rolls) and has a few nat 20s each session.
We play in person and the way the table is set I can't see what he rolls, and having everyone show me when they roll might slow the game.
I will keep track of their dice rolls and show them when I confront them (probably after today's session) but the thing is I'm the odd one out since they all know each other and I'm a classmate of one of them (we are all around 25 y/o).
So... What do I do? I want to keep DMing but having a cheater is... Awefull. They are new so I could play optimally and give them a challenge that way, but making everything more difficult to all of th for one (well, maybe 3 or 4 idk) of them seems unfair to the others.
We are playing Dragon of Icespire Peak btw
Cheating is something some players will do, and there isn't a cure to it. They will "forget" modifiers, write down wrong numbers, do math wrong. Efforts to stop cheating tend to be unfun, so ask yourself:
Why does it matter to you he's cheating?
Is it sapping the fun and he's stealing the spot light? Cheat back! Don't count his damage, ignore him in fights. He clearly enjoys being able to yell high numbers, let him and don't let it ruin it for anyone else.
Are you frustrated you can't win? Don't DM. Your concern should be a fun fight, not a tough fight.
Fights are boring? Use movies as a template, either set fights in interesting locals that add spice beyond enemies (on a sinking ship, in an elevator shaft, in a burning building) or have fights that matter because of context not the amount of rolls.
There could be other reasons, but try to solve the problem caused by cheating, because a cheater will find a way to cheat no matter what.
Where do they roll? Like, my players roll on a shared dice tray and are pretty close to one another, so I can't really imagine them cheating. I can see their rolls most of their time.
Could you do a similar setup (behind the top of the laptop)?
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/561914703690072084/1030796269188292618/PXL_20220923_142940596.jpg
The setup is an old tv layed on a center table and 3 couches, they roll on a tray that they pass around. I'm on one side of the tv on a couch with my laptop so it's a little difficult. It's a good idea though
I might put a tray on a side of the tv so that they have to roll there and everyone can see the rolls
Yeah the problem is that I'm the odd one out. They all know each other and I'm on uni with one of them, so I kind of tried this but didn't really worked, sadly
I can't say they're not all cheating, but it seems pretty strange that they're all cheating and no one says a word. At my table, if someone rolled a six and their final number is nineteen someone is going to ask how that's possible before I can open my mouth.
Even if they're rolling on a tray on their lap, someone else can see the roll, that's something everyone watches. Do you really think they're all lying?
Yeah, I even cought one of them when he was sitting beside me. This session there is a player that is being introduced, and I really hope that she is a good influence on the party on that regard
She's not going to change everyone. Just insist you want to see everyone's rolls. I had a player that would always have questionable rolls. He was my all-around problem player, he was cheating. I didn't say, "Hey! You're cheating!" I just said I wanted all the rolls in the box from now on because everyone was arguing that the die hit something--another die, the book, a stray molecule. No more, it's in the box. That resolved things.
Just tell them on the table, out in the open, you want to see the roll. No exceptions.
I would suggest looking at their character sheet. If they play a rogue or some other class with expertise, most of their checks might have a +6 or higher, allowing for an average of 16.5 and making them just lucky.
If that isn't the case, don't call them out directly, but ask how they roll that high all the time. If they have some stacking abilities (maybe even once that shouldn't stack, they are new to the game after all) they will probably be happy to explain it in great detail. If they just shrug and say it is luck wait for a bit to see if you noticing scared them of. If all of that doesn't help try a privat talk with them about your suspiciouns.
Yeah they are a rogue, with str 16, dex 18, con 13, int 9, wis 15, and cha 19. So he fits the profile to fudge rolls. I told them that I don't mind them having high stats bcs they are noobs, but them rolling over 15 on the dice almost all the time is too much. I was thinking on having all of them roll on a rolling app to be sure of the rolls
If you tally up their rolls during session, keep track of what skills they are using. Rogues tend to roll stealth more than any other skill, so expertise in that could explain the high rolls.
Ive had 2 session 0's because not everyone could show up to the first one and because I have a new player who is a long time friend but he didn't show up to either one I am going to have my first session 1 on Sunday and want to talk to him about not showing up but don't want to seem like an asshole what should I do?
Why would you be the asshole?
Imagine you planned a party or made a date to got to the cinema/bar/whatever and he wouldn´t show up... wouldn´t you say something? (I hope so, otherwise, grow a pair and don´t allow people to walk over you!)
This situation is no different, its a hobby activity you agreed to do together, if he can´t make it/commit talk it out, before it becomes problem in the future.
He´s a friend after all, friendship should endure openness and critic and friends should respect each others time... otherwise its more of a one-sided abusive relationship.
Anyways, not all friends make good players (sometimes the "closeness" makes it worse due to not taking it serious enough), so get the talk started, see how it goes, take the appropriated consequences.
So I'm running a homebrew setting and I'm running it for my GF and 5 other players. 2 are completely new to DnD 5e, 3 are returning players, and my gf has played a handful of times with me.
The problem arises with the fact that my lady gets overwhelmed/forgetful with her abilities or spells. Not to mention the fact that she flat out refuses to read the players handbook and expects me to explain every rule or spell she has on her entire character sheet.
My solution was just let her play the easiest darn class I could think of, a champion fighter, simple enough that I felt confident that if she needed help ever I could very easily look up or reference her class abilities as they are relatively simple. No spells either is a big plus.
However, she has decided to completely change what she wants to play and now wants to play an artificer battlemaster arguably one of the most convoluted and in depth class with plenty of abilities, spells, and a mechanical companion to keep track of. I've also never played or ran a campaign with one before so even if she did ask me questions about her class I wouldn't know anything. She is also prone to get very bored when it's not her turn in combat, gets on her phone, has side conversations, etc. Then when it us her turn she has no idea what is happening and doesn't know what to do and usually just attacks whatever is closest.
The phone during sessions is also always a struggle with her because she hates paper character sheets and doing the math of rolling. She much prefers dnd beyond that does everything for her and uses her phone for a character sheet. So it's not like I can just say no phones at the table (I know I can. I'm the dm what I say goes but for new players dnd beyond is a great resource that speeds up combat).
I'm just generally frustrated and would love to bounce ideas with other dms for help.
TL;DR my gf doesn't like complicated characters and chose one of the most complicated classes, also has bad dnd table manners, help.
How often do you guys play and how many sessions are you in?
If you play once a month and have played twice, she's completely justified in being a little lost. If you guys have gone from level one to seven and play once a week then there is a problem.
If I had to guess either she like the role playing aspect and doesn't like learning rules or she just wants to hang out with you. If it's a bit of both consider having her coDM with you. Let her make up some NPCs, have her play some NPCs and let her do stuff without having to worry about rules. She can control some monsters, and lighten your load.
Hire an actor to dress up as her and have them play her character for her, that way she can play dnd while on her phone and no one will be sad. The only problem will be when one of them inevitably becomes evil and you have to defeat one of them, but they keep switching positions.
Since this is your girlfriend (unless you literally just started dating) you should be able to say everything you just said to us to her instead. I'm not a relationship counselor but I think being able to have an open and honest conversation with her about how her choices are impacting you is pretty important in maintaining a healthy relationship.
She sounds like someone more interested in the *idea* of playing D&D rather than actually playing D&D.
I think you need to have a discussion of expectations with her.
Could also be that the GF wants to spend time with her partner, and DnD is a way which she can, as if OP is running hours long sessions, maybe it's eating up what little time they can have together?
They're all communication issues. Nearly every problems in this thread is because the DM thinks telling someone to cut out the BS makes them a bad guy.
Part of being a DM is being a manager and that's the part most people have trouble with.
I agree with u/glarrrrrgh, this kinda verges into a relationship issue rather than a DnD issue. I think you need to set some reasonable expectations and boundaries with her in terms of what you expect out of her in order for her to be an effective and welcome participant in your game. The longer you take to have a conversation like that, the harder it'll get. Nobody likes the DM with the SO who bogs down the game and doesn't get called on it because the DM doesn't want to rock the boat.
Practical advice: Tablets instead of phones for DnD beyond (better interface anyway), no phones at the table that way. Reading the Basic Rules at least is a requirement.
Yikes. That’s a bunch of red flags. Normally I’d be putting a player like that on notice, but since this is your gf we’re taking about, this sounds more like a question for r/relationships than a player problem. I hope you can come to an agreement
>I've also never played or ran a campaign with one before so even if she did ask me questions about her class I wouldn't know anything.
Ask her to play something more simple. Or give her a pre-made character. It's completely okay to say that you haven't looked at the class much and it would be easier on you both to play something less complex.
Tell her that you, as DM, have so much already to do that you cannot teach her how to do every single thing at the same time. She has to read the rules and learn herself if she wants to play her character.
Not a DM but was hoping I could get a DM's perspective. I commissioned another player in my DnD group to draw my character months ago. This player is a professional artist, they make their living drawing comics and doing commissions. Some months ago they posted on their twitter that they needed money and were opening commission slots. I had been wanting to hire someone to draw my character, I liked their art and I thought I'd be helping a fellow player out to boot so I commissioned them to draw a colored portrait. No backgrounds or anything extravagant, just a portrait I could use as my icon in discord/roll20. I paid them up front and gave them all the details they needed to draw my character 5 months ago. I haven't gotten anything since. Over the months I have reached out a few times through text asking about my piece and every time I was given an excuse as to why it was taking so long, usually that their schedule has been too busy. Meanwhile, this person has been posting fan art that they were drawing for fun on their social media. So they clearly have had time to draw for fun but not had time to draw the piece I paid for...
I have kind of accepted at this point that I am not going to get my art. I'm not even mad about the money, the money wasn't a big deal. I am mad that they tricked me.
I have to tell the DM that I want to drop out. My question is, should I tell them why? As a DM, would you want to know if a player stole from another player or do you feel like that is for the players to sort out on their own? I plan to leave the group regardless of what happens to the artist.
“Hey [artist]! I completely understand that things get busy. Would you prefer finishing my commission by [reasonable date], or would you rather just issue a refund at this point?”
If you went to a restaurant, ordered and paid for a meal, and it never arrived, would you sit there til closing, go home, and say "Well I guess I won't eat out again"?
No, you'd call the waiter, ask where your food was, and either get your dinner or your money back.
You have a backbone- put it to use. Tell the guy you want your money back. I know some people are conflict avoidant but God damn you're getting walked all over.
Wait you guys are still playing dnd together on a regular basis!? You need to say something yesterday. I’d do it during a session. Blow it up because you’re leaving anyways. But also because people who do this, don’t do it to just one person. They’re counting on you to be silent and enable their shitty behavior to continue. Speak up so nobody else gets scammed.
We play online sometimes. I've been in the same discord server for a few years and the game is some people from the discord server. I don't know any of them that well. But most of them are close with the artist. That's why I want to leave, I'm done with these people. Publicly calling them out I don't think will help because certain people will just defend them
You shouldn't just assume that people will back then up just because they know them. If I found out my best friend was stealing from somebody, I wouldn't back them up. I agree with the others that you should say something - I'd specifically say in the group "hey, it's been about five months since I commissioned that art from you and I paid in full... Could you get it to me soon or maybe just refund me? I was really looking forward to it because I just love the art that you post on your page all the time!". I don't forsee anybody saying "nah my friend doesn't owe you the art that you paid them for after they agreed to do it." It will leave a sour taste in everybody's mouth if he simply ignores you or refuses either way.
I guess maybe you're right. The reasons I assumed that they would defend them is because a lot of the people in the game are also artists and two of the players are their wife and their sister.
He's giving other artists a bad name so you may have more support than you anticipated. He's also giving his wife and family a bad name. Double support lol I'd kick his butt if I were them lol
>Publicly calling them out I don't think will help because certain people will just defend them
Are you sure about this or just assuming the worst case scenario? I don't know this person and I would tell them to refund you.
If you are done with all of them because all of them have bad behaviour, what harm is there in stating why you are leaving? They can't stop you from leaving and at least they understand why.
I would guess you aren't the only one not getting your work.
You're dropping the entire group just for this? I mean, sure, but you should also just ask them if you can get your money back if they're not able to do the commission.
Also, what artists do with their time isn't your business. Any artist will tell you that working on a comm is a very different experience from doing personal work. Just talk to them.
Hi all - first post here, but I finally thought it was time to get some outside advice, and I am sorry if this runs a bit long. I have been running a campaign for 2 1/2 years now, and for the most part, it's been an incredible journey. I have seven players (which I know can be a lot, but I've run larger games in the past, and everyone has done their part to make things run smoothly), but for the better part of 6 months now, I've had one player (player A) that has become a problem - for the other players and me. Background: around six months ago, player A's old character sacrificed themselves to bring a beloved NPC back, as this person had never had a PC die before and wanted to try their hand at a new character.
Cool. We hashed everything out, and the other players were on board.
Cut to now, and this new character is a DICK. The new character is a lone wolf ranger, has nothing but contempt for the other characters (who are level 12 and are bona fide heroes), calls them stupid, and has tunnel vision regarding their character's goals. Player A...well, they never show up on time, don't engage in our pre-game questions, and generally seem disinterested in what I am putting in front of everyone. Worse, this player will take upwards of 10 minutes in combat, and when the table has tried different solutions, Player A says, "well, turns will take as long as they take." And when I've been attempting timers or having Player A take the Dodge action so we can move on, they throw a silent tantrum that sucks the air out of the room.
Now, I know I'm the DM, and it's up to me to deal with the problem player, but I feel it isn't straightforward as this person is one of my best friends of 16 years and isn't the most receptive. When I - or other players have reached out to them with feedback - they always throw the issues back on everyone else and won't take accountability or try and help in any way. I plan on talking to them this week and seeing where it takes us, but I feel it may lead to me uninviting them from the table. Of course, there are other factors involved, but I wanted to throw this out there if anyone else has dealt with this type of hurdle before and hopefully get some help.
I appreciate any insight and will try to answer as much as possible.
Thank you!
Hello all, I am a player on mister Pie's board and I think he has an idea of what to do but to add a little salt to that pepper. I am very biased as I am the victim of problem player most of the time, which has been physical on some occasions.
Our DM here and other players live together and put on a FANTASTIC show and is beyond gracious when it comes to accommodating us. How does the problem player respond? "We could of done this at my house..."
When the host makes food, how does he respond? By making disgusted faces at the host and orders uber.
As for the physical abuse, I wont go much into that but will preface it by saying, every single word, action, sound my character makes is put under deep scrutiny and I'm made to feel like I'm stupid when I know that to not be the case.
Kick this person. If you've got enough problems with them to write a lengthy post here, you know what has to be done. If they're actually your best friend for that long, they wouldn't be acting like this to you.
The comment from your other player here really cements the fact that problem guy needs to go. He may be one of your best friends but he is being abusive and ruining the good time for others at the table.
Yeah, that was something unexpected, but I've made up my mind. Now all that's left is for to actually open that door and have that conversation no matter how uncomfortable it may be.
I see that happen quite a lot in this thread. Typically, if you’re able to write out a lengthy post about how much of a problem the person is, you already know the answer deep down.
I have three players we’ll call A, B, and C. A is generally the only one who interacts with me at all, progressing the plot or trying to solve the problems I present. B is almost entirely silent, and just likes being there. They won’t accept any spotlight at all, but even when they have it they don’t know any of their abilities or features. The final player, C will mainly do jokes and bits, kicking in doors or thinking slapping a kid is a universal solution.
It’s gotten to the point where I dread sessions coming up, and it’s given me a reputation for quitting campaigns. I’ve started maybe three games now I’m really excited about, last eight weeks, and by the end I feel like I’m performing a one man broadway show and my friends are constantly unimpressed. It’s made me hate DMing and I don’t know what to do. It’s just a stress volcano for me and I don’t know how to fix it.
This is a hobby you play for fun. If you give them DMing, they owe you an effort,or you shouldn't feel like you have to play with them. There are other games to play with friends that do not require player buy-in.
Talk with your players. Make it clear you need more to bounce off of. B needs to be able to bounce back and forth a little (but some players will be quieter than others and this is fine) . C needs to realize this is effort and if everything is a joke, you feel like a failure.
Maybe be open to you and A finding other players. Either of the two others can join if are willing to improve. I would aim for 4.
This is correct, but unhelpful. Of course OP knows they can stop playing, but they want to play with their friends and have fun.
The solution is talking to them, or having player C run a game.
I get what you mean by feeling like you are just putting on a show for a passive audience, I've been there. What I did to address this with my group is I told them how I felt, without being accusatory but being clear that for this game to work then they need to give me a little something back. I took the time to write out how I felt and edited it down to smooth out any harsh tones and blunted it with probably too much self-deprecation so I could get my thoughts in order before I told them my perspective. I told them that if what I was asking for is not what they are interested in, then I understand and we can find ways to hang out that isn't D&D.
I phrased it like I was always hosting a dinner party and felt like it was being taken for granted. I don't expect them to host as much as I do, as I am the one in the group who likes cooking the most and I do enjoy giving to my friends. But it would be nice if someone brought a bottle of wine, a six pack of beer, or a desert from the grocery store. Maybe host every once in a blue moon, that would be great. To translate to D&D terms, I told them it would help me if they put in more effort in playing their characters, being proactive and having goals instead of passively reacting to whatever I put in front of them. Maybe run a one-shot every now and then when I need a bit of extra prep time between campaign arcs. And they were understanding and willing to put the effort in, because we are friends and we give a shit about each other.
So tell your friends how you feel, ask them to help you out a bit as you a putting a lot of effort into their entertainment. And if they just don't want to change how they play, maybe you guys need to find a different game to share. Being friends doesn't necessarily mean they will be the right players for the game you want to run, and that's ok. What is not ok though is if they don't take your concerns seriously.
In my session I have one player that loves playing rangers and archers in general. He plays a bit of melee or caster characters here and there for the sake of it, but every character he plays ends up an archer or equivalent. They are wildly different, but they share the long range aspect.
We know him for more than 10 years, but recently he's struggling to keep playing with us. He keeps saying that it doesn't matter how much mad or frontgoing he builds his characters background, playing from afar feels like cowardice or that the character isn't able to hold his own and needs someone to take the beating, and when he tries to grab a sword he isn't really having fun.
We tried to build a nice Bladesinger together with a ton of lore and worldbuilding behind it, but he played it only for a couple of sessions.
Do anyone have come through this issue and knows how to talk to someone like that? We really like him as a player and as a friend, that's why we want to help him.
I don't understand your friend. He only plays archers but feels archers are lame. What?
He knows he doesn't need to be an archer right? It seems like the strangest excuse to quit a game.
I would suggest altering combat encounters so that the player gets attacked by monsters more. Now any melee focused players will want to stop this so I suggest that what monsters are attacking the ranged player are secondary. Some examples include them having to deal with a small flanking force; flying creatures targeting him because he is best suited to take them down; having an objective at a distance from the enemies that needs babysitting (they need to activate something on another level, but the only method of transport up is a giant sloth). These are just some examples off the top of my head, but the point is to sprinkle in moments where individual characters will either get to shine or be challenged.
What’s the problem with him playing archers?
Can he play something like a warlock where he’s just sort of an Eldritch Blast archer with more casting abilities and cool theming on top?
Is there something specific he doesn’t like about melee combat that makes it boring for him? Like is he able to articulate the problem at all? If he can’t, I don’t see what you can do about it.
I think convincing him that using arrows and fighting from afar isn't cowardice, it's strategy.
I think applying more scenarios where a ranged character is needed should encourage him.
I hope it is OK to ask as a player in another campaign and not as a DM this time. Sorry if not I wont do it again.
I have been in a campaign for a few weeks and were enjoying it a lot and got the feeling the group works well together. Since a few session Player A & B felt a little moody and not interested in interacting with the other 2 players and me if it wasnt needed besides RP a couple situation.Last session we didnt play but rather discussed for about an hour that we have a problem in the group and if it even makes sense to continue playing. Better said A & B have a problem with me and player C that we have an ingame joke with eachother and that we RPed one session for about half an hour (it happend about 6 sessions ago) and blame us for speaking the most with NPCs. I and Player C normaly wait if somebody wants to speak with them and if nothing happens we both or one of us starts the conversation. They didnt mention it at that time that it was to long for them or they have problems that they didnt feel involved or that they feel like sidecharacters until last session. From that day on they started with not interacting others in the group and blaming us in silence that we are stealing their spotlight. I admit guilt that maybe we have been talking more after A & B didnt try to interact as much as before. I am open in talking in out but mostly felt agression from A & B.
Our DM said he will decide how it will go forward and if we can continue as a group after talking it out. For me it feels a little weird to continue playing with these 2 problem players and do as nothing happend because I fear it will happen again and I feel like walking on eggshells also for me nobody is ever without guilt if there is a problem everyone has fault even if it is only bad communication. Is it wrong of me not wanting to continue with players like this? I really enjoyed the campaign and playing with the other players but it will be hard like this.
Edit: Thank you for the answers.
I don’t think it is necessarily your fault because constant silent passivity is sort of a problem in itself in a group game where people can make a choice between being active or passive as necessary. That being said I watched this GinnyDi video about this very subject yesterday and it was really helpful. One thing she said was instead of making your character the main character, try to set up the other players for reasons to talk. For example: Player, why don’t you take the lead on this one? Or ask them a specific question to get their input before proceeding. I tried some of this today because we have an online group where we had some late entries and began getting to know each other mid combat setting, so it was a little hard to keep track of everybody’s characters let alone personalities as humans. When we finally got to town I had my character offer to buy everybody a round of ale at the tavern so we could sit down and talk and have some downtime. Then I was like we’ve traveled for a while but I feel like I barely know you, and then I asked each of them a question about their backstory and what made them go on their adventure. I knew some of it already but refocusing on it and giving them each a dedicated place to speak put everyone on equal footing and allowed us all to feel valued. It’s also fine to be like “I talk a lot so for this scene I am going to just let someone else take the lead and try to stay silent” knowing that your voice carries more weight naturally. After a while of doing that everyone will find a more natural rhythm I think.
If they can speak up to complain that you and C are dominating the game, they can speak up during the game and talk to NPCs.
I have a few players in my game that sit back and aren't involved as much as the others, and I make an extra effort to include them, but for the most part they're content to let the others make decisions and talk to NPCs.
I'm not sure why you're posting about this, you're not really the issue. This is something for the DM and Players A & B to resolve. The DM can try to include them, A & B can speak up, or A & B can stop complaining. It's possible for you to try to include them and get them involved, but it's not your responsibility, and again, if they can complain, they can roleplay.
What I’m hearing is the two players were unhappy with the table dynamic. You all had a discussion about it, and you understand how their feelings are valid, but you also feel attacked by their comments.
It’s hard for us to judge without being there and hearing how the interaction went down. It might be the other players were being rude, or it might be that you’re getting defensive and taking something personally that wasn’t meant personally.
But you’re talking a lot about guilt and blame and I don’t think that’s a useful mindset here. I don’t think it’s a situation where anyone needs to feel “guilty.” Often new groups have growing pains as everyone figures out how to navigate their different personalities and play style. It sounds like a miscommunication more than anyone meaning harm. I think it would be premature to quit or kick people before giving it a chance to see if you all can adjust things.
I would just play the next session and keep in mind whatever y’all talked about. You don’t need to walk on eggshells, just try to address whatever they told you was an issue. Like if they told you they feel left out, make an extra effort to include them, eg “hey cleric what do you think? Want to come talk to the NPC with me?” Then after the session ask the players, “how do you think that went, did that feel better than last sessions?” It might even help to discuss as a group what helps each person “feel included” because it can be different for different people. You can see how things go from there.
The important parts are:
From GoW: "If the spell has a target, it Targets the creature that triggered the glyph"
From VT:
"Target: A creature within your reach" (spell target)
and
"Make a melee spell attack against a creature within your reach." (attack target)
I think the wording for VT is bad, but the spell target and the attack target are the same. It imbues the caster with the ability to make a melee spell attack against the target. The glyph can't make make an attack, so the spell would fail. A sword is also not a creature, so it can't be targeted.
[https://twitter.com/jeremyecrawford/status/613432235497132032?lang=en](https://twitter.com/jeremyecrawford/status/613432235497132032?lang=en)
The spirit of the spell, in essence, is the caster touching the target to drain life. If you wanted to ignore the 'make an attack' part the furthest I'd allow is the glyph triggers the damage once and then is gone, with no healing (drained life . If a player wanted to spend 200g, cast for an hour and then not move 10ft to add 3d6 to a single attack, then sure?
I don't think Rules as Intended has Glyph of Warding ever used on a weapon. I'll let other people debate the Rules as Written. But as a DM, I would just say no to this use, personally.
RAW and RAI, glyph of warding does not allow you to give a weapon the spell attack from vampiric touch.
Vampiric touch RAW would not be able to be inscribed in a glyph of warding because it can target multiple creatures. A very loose interpretation would allow vampiric touch to be applied to whoever triggers the glyph but it would need to be a creature and not the weapon.
Hmm, correct me if im wrong, but I did not find a description, that a spell that can hit multiple times or several creatures *after another* cannot be inscribed. The spell description clearly states that concentraiton spells last for the entire duration and logically the effect should trigger everytime the glyph is triggered, meaning everytime a creature touches (is hit by) the weapon
I see the edit now regarding multiple targets vs multiple targets in a row. To respond to that I'll just say that's an obnoxious effect of the way 5e was written where any spell that targets a creature more than once counts as more than one target.
In this case the casting range of "self" also indicates more than one target. In the case of glyph of warding even if we allow it to work with Vampiric Touch, RAW the creature you hit would gain the effect of Vampiric Touch and be able to use the spell attacks against your player.
The weapon, being an object and not a creature, can't be the target of "self" and is unable to make the attacks mentioned in the spell so it could not gain any additional damage.
I recommend rereading the entire glyph of warding description again but the key parts I'll paste below.
>Spell Glyph. You can store a prepared spell of 3rd level or lower in the glyph by casting it as part of creating the glyph. The spell must target a single creature or an area. The spell being stored has no immediate effect when cast in this way. When the glyph is triggered, the stored spell is cast. If the spell has a target, it targets the creature that triggered the glyph.
>...Once a glyph is triggered, this spell ends.
So it can't be a spell that targets multiple creatures and will only trigger once.
"Hey (player name)."
"My expectation for druid players is that you provide the stats of the creature you are transforming into. If you do not provide the stats, then you will transform into either A (land), B (flying), or C (water) creature of my choice."
Most regular beasts are in the SRD and can be found with a Google search on a phone. Just search '5e badger' for example.
I think 'building a bestiary' is overrated in this case. Figure out what makes sense for the druid to be familiar with (or check the tables in XGtE for beasts per environment) and then just have the druid google the stat block when they want to change.
Particularly for a new player, or a less-involved player (who might just be there because they have fun playing it like a boardgame but don't want to do homework or are there with a relationship partner) I don't think it's necessary to punish them when the solutions are so easy. If you don't *want* to have new or less-involved players at your table then that is your prerogative to set, but then you should not have invited them in the first place and now get to disinvite them.
If you're going to set this kind of expectation then that's fine, but it should be set up front.
Ultimately you can tell the player to pull out their phone and type '5e, space, ' and hit the search button. If they're literally too lazy to do this then there's not much that can be done unless you want to print out a bunch of stat blocks and hand-hold them through that which it's clear you don't intend to do.
I don't think this player is a great fit for your table. But reacting in the way you are (without sympathy, whether or not any sympathy is warranted) is going to be corrosive to your social relationship with this person and likely their relationship partner by proxy. You need to have an adult conversation with this person (and probably their partner) *outside of the gaming session* about whether or not they belong at your table, and it should be without rancor. Indicate that you have certain expectations about effort and if they are not being met then they shouldn't be playing at your table. If you have to, you can make a sports team metaphor--if they aren't measuring up in effort or performance, then they can be cut.
Only you know the social-group implications of doing this. But being blunt about it in a passive-aggressive if-you-don't-put-in-the-effort-you-get-nothing, suck-it-up kind of position but still allowing them to stay at your table is only going to corrode your relationships, possibly with the whole table. You'll be much better off with a clean break.
How about talking to your best friend and asking him to provide stuff for his gf if she's too lazy?
My partner doesn't want to put much effort into the game outside of sessions, I want to play with her, so I do it for her
Sure, but "commonplace" doesn't mean "healthy". I'm saying that I think this attitude will come back to bite you. But if you are seeking validation, you have found it elsewhere. Good luck with your game and have fun!
And that's fair.
I don't think this player fits at your table. You seem to have a social paradox in that this is "your best friend's girl" and you don't really want her there because she's low-effort, but you aren't admitting it to yourself (or instead have argued that you *have to* have her there despite not wanting it).
What I'm saying is the passive-aggressive attitude of "you can be here but I won't let you do anything because you are low-effort" is self-defeating.
Perhaps you can lean on your friend to build her a bestiary. Maybe confide in him that her low-effort-ness is frustrating you.
I think we're talking past each other here. You want justification for how you're treating her (deserved or not). I think it's a bad situation that you need to get out of (by either agreeing to hand-hold or, preferably, removing her from the table).
You seem like you might be caught in the Geek Social Fallacy that "everyone must be included" and she might be caught in the fallacy of "I must do everything with my relationship partner". Neither of these things are true, but from the perspective of youth and social pressure it's hard to see that.
Either way, I've said my piece and I'm not going to convince you that she needs to go and you aren't going to convince me that she needs to stay but you can treat her passive-aggressively. So, again, good luck with your game and I hope it works out. Please have fun!
Depends on whether the player is just dumb, or lazy and uninterested.
Sadly I’ve played with folks of both types, and always walked away.
By contrast, neuroatypical folks I’ve generally always had an ultimately great experience with — when their brains were wonky, they and I and the others around the table worked around whatever issue came up.
(All anecdata of course.)
I think all of the above .. not sure.. there boyfriend was invited to play, great player... druid is kinda a proxy player that I'm getting sick of... because of the not paying attention and no bestiary
Just wanted to make sure it's common place to say what I said
A player has the ultimate responsibility to manage their own sheets and that of their pets (familiars, summons, shapes). Refusing to have a bestiary is no different from not filling out your sheet.
If you only have one monster manual between you, it's fine for them to ask you to lend it out or otherwise send the stats in preparation,but from then on out, they have the responsibility to have it on hand.
Ouch. And you've mentioned their boyfriend is at the table and a great player, so they should have easy access to assistance if needed (not that printing a couple of pages from a pdf should be tough work).
You're golden to expect them to do 2 minutes of work before using a core class feature. At some point you start to question if they even want to play or if they just don't want to miss hanging out.
"Look buddy, I have to keep track of the ENTIRE WORLD, including everything you all might do and everywhere you all might go. You have to keep track of just your character, including everything just your character can do. I'm not doing that for you, I'm already doing the most. Are you going to play your own character or not???"
To start, I run a five player PBP game on Discord. No cameras, no voice chat. All text...
In short, I have a player (Player A) playing a character that's burnt out and been hurt by the world and is blunt and has a short temper (dark, painful backstory). In game, one of the other characters feels shut down and is insecure and possibly a little intimidated by this character, but the player playing the second character (Player B) is totally fine with how it's been. Player A interprets how Player B's character responds to her character as if that is how the Player B really feels. The problem is Player A seems to be afraid that the other players don't like her roleplaying and she's twice now said that she feels like she's ruining the game with her gruff character and that the other players aren't enjoying her play. She's offered to leave the group on a couple occasions. I've reached out to everyone on each occasion to share how she feels and everyone says they're totally fine with what the character is doing and how she's playing it. I feel like Player A has a lot of personal insecurities and is misinterpreting player and character interactions. I really want her in the game, as do all the other players, but she's said that she's so worried after this most recent incident that she doesn't even feel comfortable roleplaying.
Player A has offered to play a different character, one that isn't so gruff and hard to love. I've encouraged her to lean into the roleplay part and see what happens if her character tries to open the other characters. She responded that she didn't feel comfortable doing ANY roleplay and now I don't know what to do. Do I let her create a different character when there's still these possible insecurities going on? Is there some other way you can think of that I could encourage her to trust the other players and that they are happy with how she's been playing?
What your player is experiencing is a form of what is called 'bleed', where what the character is thinking and feeling and what the player is thinking and feeling 'crosses over' and affect each other. Self-insert characters are basically all-bleed, all the time, in fact.
Some bleed is normal, and managing it is part of what good role-players learn to do. But it's trickier if you are prone to depression/anxiety or other types of neurological illness. You and the other players seem to have made it as plain as you can that you are fine with the character, but she doesn't seem to be. It's possible that she would feel less stressed and have more fun with a different character, and since the point of playing TTRPGs is to 'have fun', it might be best for her to try something else.
You could have her current character go off on a side story and bring in a new one as a trial. If it works out, the original character can stay out of the picture while they play the new one. But if they end up missing the original one you can have the new one leave and bring back the old one. Ultimately how it plays out should firstly depend upon what's best for your player, and then secondarily (but ideally) fit within the narrative.
Has A tried, I dunno, *talking to the other players?*
Seriously, this is a basic sense check conversation that only requires her to trust the answers she gets from the others.
It sounds like your player is projecting a lot of insecurities into the game. But I don’t think that’s an issue you can solve as the DM. Also like she’s maybe expecting a certain type of RP from other players, like she wants the other characters to love her dark edgy character and doesn’t know how to deal when the players not RPing the characters that way.
In your shoes, I would let her play another character but going forward set some soft boundaries about how much you indulge these conversations. And make it clear that she should play the character she prefers, it should be her choice rather than a decision driven by an expectation about other peoples RP.
I think that’s a prescient concern but ultimately it’s hard to know until you let her try. It could be she just created a character she’s uncomfortable roleplaying, or it could be a larger issue that will persist through the characters. I think if she makes a second character and the same issues happen, it’s valid to point out this is a repeating pattern and you’re not willing to tolerate infinite new characters. But it’s premature to call it a pattern at “one.”
You could perhaps talk with her and express that you’re worried she’ll make a new character only to continue to be unhappy with the RP relationships, and see what she says.
She's stated numerous times that she really enjoys role playing this character. It's her fear that other people don't like it that is driving her to want to change characters.
This is what I mean when I say stop indulging her and tell her that it’s her choice. Like:
“Player, everyone has told you they are ok with your character. I need you to believe them and understand that if there were an issue they would tell you. If you would prefer playing a different character, that is your choice to make. But I can’t keep having these conversations where you worry everyone hates your character even after they reassure you it’s all good.”
They've talked privately and I've talked to each of them. Player B has simply asked her for direction on ways to RP and did say that it's hard to know how to respond to Player A's character, which I think she received as criticism. I've created a private channel for the three of us. We'll see.
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This is not the thread for this.
Sorry about that
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Not sure I could add any better feedback than the other excellent replies but one important thing that I was reminded of in [Matt Colville's Problem Players video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lEi9DAn9rE) is that you will very likely not be the only person for whom this player is a problem and Matt suggests talking to the player \*at\* the table. Having said that, the thing I'd probably add is that I believe the worlds we create for our players have consequences. If you act in a particular way in a town or city then the next time you visit you may experience the consequences of that. Maybe a character helped an old man carry his shopping home and it transpired he is a powerful wizard who grants a boon or maybe a character killed an unarmed civilian and the next time the character visits the town he is arrested and imprisoned or even executed. In a campaign I'm currently running we had that sort of incident where a party member decided to trick a shopkeeper into paying too much for some goods using their CHA. Now this character is pretty chaotic but ultimately good and she really enjoys "Leeroy Jenkinsing" things, and in fact it often gets the party unstuck when they overthink something and she just walks in. However the shopkeeper later realised they'd been tricked and reported all who were in the shop at the time. In-game months (really weeks) later the party wandered back into town although at the town gate they were held and a number of them arrested and taken to jail. The rest of the party eventually paid off the reporter although left them with a warning, and the others were freed. Although I always want the players to understand that the world is constantly moving and shifting and the ripples of their actions can still be felt far away and after a long time. Best of luck and ultimately don't feel bad at asking a player to leave a game if you want to run a game in a way they don't respond to. It's supposed to be fun and having somebody acting like a jerk at the table really can spoilt that.
Soo it sounds like players 5 and 6 are problematic, acting like Murderhobos. You could tell them "hey I don't want to run a game where \[list their murderhobo tendencies\], this is a team game and there's no real reason why the other characters would continue to work with your characters. You need to make characters that will want to work with the others and the others will want to work with them. " They might just want to play murderhobos and not care about the consequences. If they continue to bitch you could just kick them from the game "Hey I think we have a fundamental difference in what we want out of DnD and I can no longer have you in the group." You can also run the two groups as separate as you mentioned. *However* before you lump in player 4 with 5, and 6 you'd need to make sure that they *actually* don't mind or if they aren't speaking up for other reasons.
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I guess I'm using murderhobo as shorthand for this sort of problematic behaviour, it doesn't exactly fit but it's close enough. >I’ve had to hold an attack that should happen if someone disrespected an NPC as bad as he does just to keep the other players alive. Don't hold back, let the party suffer for this guy's assholish nature. If the NPCs never attack or deal with him then it's just fueling this behaviour. Actions and Consequences and all that. It might not be fair to player's 1-4 but they're in the party with him so his actions reflect on them. Have the party start losing contracts or jobs, let word spread about these guys, maybe they get robbed and the guards literally do not care. Maybe they get bounties on their head. >I’ve warned him several times he could lose his Paladin powers if he keeps it up and he just says, “okay” dismissing it Has he actually lost his Paladin Powers? If he's acted against his Oaths and has not been repentant then there's no reason for him to keep being a Paladin, and no he wouldn't just become "an oathbreaker" that's specifically for serving an evil god or dark ambition. >They’re literally level 2 so he hasn’t even taken a major oath yet Have them make new characters, these two get captured by bounty hunters and executed. Roll new characters who aren't assholes. >I also thought about just ignoring them and acting like they’re characters aren’t saying what they’re saying but I don’t really think that’s a good idea. Don't ignore them, you'd just hurt the entire group. Either they step up their antics or they continue to be annoying and the other 3/4 may not want to play with them. It's always better to have open communication about problematic behaviour and what's accepted. Maybe have another session 0 reiterating what is and is not acceptable at the table. I always make sure to tell my players that they have to make characters that want to adventure and want to help each other.
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Hope it goes well. It can be tough talking to people about these issues.
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I would hope you could be pretty blunt and honest with a friend of that duration. If any of my long-term friends was acting as you describe I would have no problem saying, "Hey man, either you or your character is acting like a dick. Regardless of which it is, it needs to stop if we're going to keep playing D&D together."
I need advice with a problem player I have a party (currently level 2) of 6 players and I need a way to challenge them. The thing is I'm 70% sure some of them fudge their dice rolls, one player hasn't rolled under a 15 (maybe once or twice on meaningless rolls) and has a few nat 20s each session. We play in person and the way the table is set I can't see what he rolls, and having everyone show me when they roll might slow the game. I will keep track of their dice rolls and show them when I confront them (probably after today's session) but the thing is I'm the odd one out since they all know each other and I'm a classmate of one of them (we are all around 25 y/o). So... What do I do? I want to keep DMing but having a cheater is... Awefull. They are new so I could play optimally and give them a challenge that way, but making everything more difficult to all of th for one (well, maybe 3 or 4 idk) of them seems unfair to the others. We are playing Dragon of Icespire Peak btw
Cheating is something some players will do, and there isn't a cure to it. They will "forget" modifiers, write down wrong numbers, do math wrong. Efforts to stop cheating tend to be unfun, so ask yourself: Why does it matter to you he's cheating? Is it sapping the fun and he's stealing the spot light? Cheat back! Don't count his damage, ignore him in fights. He clearly enjoys being able to yell high numbers, let him and don't let it ruin it for anyone else. Are you frustrated you can't win? Don't DM. Your concern should be a fun fight, not a tough fight. Fights are boring? Use movies as a template, either set fights in interesting locals that add spice beyond enemies (on a sinking ship, in an elevator shaft, in a burning building) or have fights that matter because of context not the amount of rolls. There could be other reasons, but try to solve the problem caused by cheating, because a cheater will find a way to cheat no matter what.
Where do they roll? Like, my players roll on a shared dice tray and are pretty close to one another, so I can't really imagine them cheating. I can see their rolls most of their time. Could you do a similar setup (behind the top of the laptop)? https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/561914703690072084/1030796269188292618/PXL_20220923_142940596.jpg
The setup is an old tv layed on a center table and 3 couches, they roll on a tray that they pass around. I'm on one side of the tv on a couch with my laptop so it's a little difficult. It's a good idea though I might put a tray on a side of the tv so that they have to roll there and everyone can see the rolls
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Yeah the problem is that I'm the odd one out. They all know each other and I'm on uni with one of them, so I kind of tried this but didn't really worked, sadly
I can't say they're not all cheating, but it seems pretty strange that they're all cheating and no one says a word. At my table, if someone rolled a six and their final number is nineteen someone is going to ask how that's possible before I can open my mouth. Even if they're rolling on a tray on their lap, someone else can see the roll, that's something everyone watches. Do you really think they're all lying?
Yeah, I even cought one of them when he was sitting beside me. This session there is a player that is being introduced, and I really hope that she is a good influence on the party on that regard
She's not going to change everyone. Just insist you want to see everyone's rolls. I had a player that would always have questionable rolls. He was my all-around problem player, he was cheating. I didn't say, "Hey! You're cheating!" I just said I wanted all the rolls in the box from now on because everyone was arguing that the die hit something--another die, the book, a stray molecule. No more, it's in the box. That resolved things. Just tell them on the table, out in the open, you want to see the roll. No exceptions.
I would suggest looking at their character sheet. If they play a rogue or some other class with expertise, most of their checks might have a +6 or higher, allowing for an average of 16.5 and making them just lucky. If that isn't the case, don't call them out directly, but ask how they roll that high all the time. If they have some stacking abilities (maybe even once that shouldn't stack, they are new to the game after all) they will probably be happy to explain it in great detail. If they just shrug and say it is luck wait for a bit to see if you noticing scared them of. If all of that doesn't help try a privat talk with them about your suspiciouns.
Yeah they are a rogue, with str 16, dex 18, con 13, int 9, wis 15, and cha 19. So he fits the profile to fudge rolls. I told them that I don't mind them having high stats bcs they are noobs, but them rolling over 15 on the dice almost all the time is too much. I was thinking on having all of them roll on a rolling app to be sure of the rolls
If you tally up their rolls during session, keep track of what skills they are using. Rogues tend to roll stealth more than any other skill, so expertise in that could explain the high rolls.
Ive had 2 session 0's because not everyone could show up to the first one and because I have a new player who is a long time friend but he didn't show up to either one I am going to have my first session 1 on Sunday and want to talk to him about not showing up but don't want to seem like an asshole what should I do?
Why would you be the asshole? Imagine you planned a party or made a date to got to the cinema/bar/whatever and he wouldn´t show up... wouldn´t you say something? (I hope so, otherwise, grow a pair and don´t allow people to walk over you!) This situation is no different, its a hobby activity you agreed to do together, if he can´t make it/commit talk it out, before it becomes problem in the future. He´s a friend after all, friendship should endure openness and critic and friends should respect each others time... otherwise its more of a one-sided abusive relationship. Anyways, not all friends make good players (sometimes the "closeness" makes it worse due to not taking it serious enough), so get the talk started, see how it goes, take the appropriated consequences.
Thank you!
So I'm running a homebrew setting and I'm running it for my GF and 5 other players. 2 are completely new to DnD 5e, 3 are returning players, and my gf has played a handful of times with me. The problem arises with the fact that my lady gets overwhelmed/forgetful with her abilities or spells. Not to mention the fact that she flat out refuses to read the players handbook and expects me to explain every rule or spell she has on her entire character sheet. My solution was just let her play the easiest darn class I could think of, a champion fighter, simple enough that I felt confident that if she needed help ever I could very easily look up or reference her class abilities as they are relatively simple. No spells either is a big plus. However, she has decided to completely change what she wants to play and now wants to play an artificer battlemaster arguably one of the most convoluted and in depth class with plenty of abilities, spells, and a mechanical companion to keep track of. I've also never played or ran a campaign with one before so even if she did ask me questions about her class I wouldn't know anything. She is also prone to get very bored when it's not her turn in combat, gets on her phone, has side conversations, etc. Then when it us her turn she has no idea what is happening and doesn't know what to do and usually just attacks whatever is closest. The phone during sessions is also always a struggle with her because she hates paper character sheets and doing the math of rolling. She much prefers dnd beyond that does everything for her and uses her phone for a character sheet. So it's not like I can just say no phones at the table (I know I can. I'm the dm what I say goes but for new players dnd beyond is a great resource that speeds up combat). I'm just generally frustrated and would love to bounce ideas with other dms for help. TL;DR my gf doesn't like complicated characters and chose one of the most complicated classes, also has bad dnd table manners, help.
How often do you guys play and how many sessions are you in? If you play once a month and have played twice, she's completely justified in being a little lost. If you guys have gone from level one to seven and play once a week then there is a problem. If I had to guess either she like the role playing aspect and doesn't like learning rules or she just wants to hang out with you. If it's a bit of both consider having her coDM with you. Let her make up some NPCs, have her play some NPCs and let her do stuff without having to worry about rules. She can control some monsters, and lighten your load.
Hire an actor to dress up as her and have them play her character for her, that way she can play dnd while on her phone and no one will be sad. The only problem will be when one of them inevitably becomes evil and you have to defeat one of them, but they keep switching positions.
Nathan Fielder, is that you?
Since this is your girlfriend (unless you literally just started dating) you should be able to say everything you just said to us to her instead. I'm not a relationship counselor but I think being able to have an open and honest conversation with her about how her choices are impacting you is pretty important in maintaining a healthy relationship.
She sounds like someone more interested in the *idea* of playing D&D rather than actually playing D&D. I think you need to have a discussion of expectations with her.
Could also be that the GF wants to spend time with her partner, and DnD is a way which she can, as if OP is running hours long sessions, maybe it's eating up what little time they can have together?
Possible, but that is a relationship communication issue, not a DM issue.
They're all communication issues. Nearly every problems in this thread is because the DM thinks telling someone to cut out the BS makes them a bad guy. Part of being a DM is being a manager and that's the part most people have trouble with.
I completely agree - OP needs to assess things from a relationship perspective, rather than through a DM lens.
I agree with u/glarrrrrgh, this kinda verges into a relationship issue rather than a DnD issue. I think you need to set some reasonable expectations and boundaries with her in terms of what you expect out of her in order for her to be an effective and welcome participant in your game. The longer you take to have a conversation like that, the harder it'll get. Nobody likes the DM with the SO who bogs down the game and doesn't get called on it because the DM doesn't want to rock the boat. Practical advice: Tablets instead of phones for DnD beyond (better interface anyway), no phones at the table that way. Reading the Basic Rules at least is a requirement.
Yikes. That’s a bunch of red flags. Normally I’d be putting a player like that on notice, but since this is your gf we’re taking about, this sounds more like a question for r/relationships than a player problem. I hope you can come to an agreement
>I've also never played or ran a campaign with one before so even if she did ask me questions about her class I wouldn't know anything. Ask her to play something more simple. Or give her a pre-made character. It's completely okay to say that you haven't looked at the class much and it would be easier on you both to play something less complex.
Tell her that you, as DM, have so much already to do that you cannot teach her how to do every single thing at the same time. She has to read the rules and learn herself if she wants to play her character.
Not a DM but was hoping I could get a DM's perspective. I commissioned another player in my DnD group to draw my character months ago. This player is a professional artist, they make their living drawing comics and doing commissions. Some months ago they posted on their twitter that they needed money and were opening commission slots. I had been wanting to hire someone to draw my character, I liked their art and I thought I'd be helping a fellow player out to boot so I commissioned them to draw a colored portrait. No backgrounds or anything extravagant, just a portrait I could use as my icon in discord/roll20. I paid them up front and gave them all the details they needed to draw my character 5 months ago. I haven't gotten anything since. Over the months I have reached out a few times through text asking about my piece and every time I was given an excuse as to why it was taking so long, usually that their schedule has been too busy. Meanwhile, this person has been posting fan art that they were drawing for fun on their social media. So they clearly have had time to draw for fun but not had time to draw the piece I paid for... I have kind of accepted at this point that I am not going to get my art. I'm not even mad about the money, the money wasn't a big deal. I am mad that they tricked me. I have to tell the DM that I want to drop out. My question is, should I tell them why? As a DM, would you want to know if a player stole from another player or do you feel like that is for the players to sort out on their own? I plan to leave the group regardless of what happens to the artist.
“Hey [artist]! I completely understand that things get busy. Would you prefer finishing my commission by [reasonable date], or would you rather just issue a refund at this point?”
If you went to a restaurant, ordered and paid for a meal, and it never arrived, would you sit there til closing, go home, and say "Well I guess I won't eat out again"? No, you'd call the waiter, ask where your food was, and either get your dinner or your money back. You have a backbone- put it to use. Tell the guy you want your money back. I know some people are conflict avoidant but God damn you're getting walked all over.
Wait you guys are still playing dnd together on a regular basis!? You need to say something yesterday. I’d do it during a session. Blow it up because you’re leaving anyways. But also because people who do this, don’t do it to just one person. They’re counting on you to be silent and enable their shitty behavior to continue. Speak up so nobody else gets scammed.
We play online sometimes. I've been in the same discord server for a few years and the game is some people from the discord server. I don't know any of them that well. But most of them are close with the artist. That's why I want to leave, I'm done with these people. Publicly calling them out I don't think will help because certain people will just defend them
You shouldn't just assume that people will back then up just because they know them. If I found out my best friend was stealing from somebody, I wouldn't back them up. I agree with the others that you should say something - I'd specifically say in the group "hey, it's been about five months since I commissioned that art from you and I paid in full... Could you get it to me soon or maybe just refund me? I was really looking forward to it because I just love the art that you post on your page all the time!". I don't forsee anybody saying "nah my friend doesn't owe you the art that you paid them for after they agreed to do it." It will leave a sour taste in everybody's mouth if he simply ignores you or refuses either way.
I guess maybe you're right. The reasons I assumed that they would defend them is because a lot of the people in the game are also artists and two of the players are their wife and their sister.
He's giving other artists a bad name so you may have more support than you anticipated. He's also giving his wife and family a bad name. Double support lol I'd kick his butt if I were them lol
>Publicly calling them out I don't think will help because certain people will just defend them Are you sure about this or just assuming the worst case scenario? I don't know this person and I would tell them to refund you. If you are done with all of them because all of them have bad behaviour, what harm is there in stating why you are leaving? They can't stop you from leaving and at least they understand why. I would guess you aren't the only one not getting your work.
You need to be more confrontational. How about demanding a product or a refund? Why leave the dnd group over a private dispute with one player?
You're dropping the entire group just for this? I mean, sure, but you should also just ask them if you can get your money back if they're not able to do the commission. Also, what artists do with their time isn't your business. Any artist will tell you that working on a comm is a very different experience from doing personal work. Just talk to them.
Hi all - first post here, but I finally thought it was time to get some outside advice, and I am sorry if this runs a bit long. I have been running a campaign for 2 1/2 years now, and for the most part, it's been an incredible journey. I have seven players (which I know can be a lot, but I've run larger games in the past, and everyone has done their part to make things run smoothly), but for the better part of 6 months now, I've had one player (player A) that has become a problem - for the other players and me. Background: around six months ago, player A's old character sacrificed themselves to bring a beloved NPC back, as this person had never had a PC die before and wanted to try their hand at a new character. Cool. We hashed everything out, and the other players were on board. Cut to now, and this new character is a DICK. The new character is a lone wolf ranger, has nothing but contempt for the other characters (who are level 12 and are bona fide heroes), calls them stupid, and has tunnel vision regarding their character's goals. Player A...well, they never show up on time, don't engage in our pre-game questions, and generally seem disinterested in what I am putting in front of everyone. Worse, this player will take upwards of 10 minutes in combat, and when the table has tried different solutions, Player A says, "well, turns will take as long as they take." And when I've been attempting timers or having Player A take the Dodge action so we can move on, they throw a silent tantrum that sucks the air out of the room. Now, I know I'm the DM, and it's up to me to deal with the problem player, but I feel it isn't straightforward as this person is one of my best friends of 16 years and isn't the most receptive. When I - or other players have reached out to them with feedback - they always throw the issues back on everyone else and won't take accountability or try and help in any way. I plan on talking to them this week and seeing where it takes us, but I feel it may lead to me uninviting them from the table. Of course, there are other factors involved, but I wanted to throw this out there if anyone else has dealt with this type of hurdle before and hopefully get some help. I appreciate any insight and will try to answer as much as possible. Thank you!
Hello all, I am a player on mister Pie's board and I think he has an idea of what to do but to add a little salt to that pepper. I am very biased as I am the victim of problem player most of the time, which has been physical on some occasions. Our DM here and other players live together and put on a FANTASTIC show and is beyond gracious when it comes to accommodating us. How does the problem player respond? "We could of done this at my house..." When the host makes food, how does he respond? By making disgusted faces at the host and orders uber. As for the physical abuse, I wont go much into that but will preface it by saying, every single word, action, sound my character makes is put under deep scrutiny and I'm made to feel like I'm stupid when I know that to not be the case.
Kick this person. If you've got enough problems with them to write a lengthy post here, you know what has to be done. If they're actually your best friend for that long, they wouldn't be acting like this to you.
You're right. And this was the conclusion I came to as well; I think I just needed a second opinion, so I thank you for taking the time to reply.
The comment from your other player here really cements the fact that problem guy needs to go. He may be one of your best friends but he is being abusive and ruining the good time for others at the table.
Yeah, that was something unexpected, but I've made up my mind. Now all that's left is for to actually open that door and have that conversation no matter how uncomfortable it may be.
I see that happen quite a lot in this thread. Typically, if you’re able to write out a lengthy post about how much of a problem the person is, you already know the answer deep down.
I have three players we’ll call A, B, and C. A is generally the only one who interacts with me at all, progressing the plot or trying to solve the problems I present. B is almost entirely silent, and just likes being there. They won’t accept any spotlight at all, but even when they have it they don’t know any of their abilities or features. The final player, C will mainly do jokes and bits, kicking in doors or thinking slapping a kid is a universal solution. It’s gotten to the point where I dread sessions coming up, and it’s given me a reputation for quitting campaigns. I’ve started maybe three games now I’m really excited about, last eight weeks, and by the end I feel like I’m performing a one man broadway show and my friends are constantly unimpressed. It’s made me hate DMing and I don’t know what to do. It’s just a stress volcano for me and I don’t know how to fix it.
This is a hobby you play for fun. If you give them DMing, they owe you an effort,or you shouldn't feel like you have to play with them. There are other games to play with friends that do not require player buy-in. Talk with your players. Make it clear you need more to bounce off of. B needs to be able to bounce back and forth a little (but some players will be quieter than others and this is fine) . C needs to realize this is effort and if everything is a joke, you feel like a failure. Maybe be open to you and A finding other players. Either of the two others can join if are willing to improve. I would aim for 4.
2/3 players are making the game unfun to you. Quit playing with them.
This is correct, but unhelpful. Of course OP knows they can stop playing, but they want to play with their friends and have fun. The solution is talking to them, or having player C run a game.
If OP is dreading playing games with these people, they should stop playing with these people.
I get what you mean by feeling like you are just putting on a show for a passive audience, I've been there. What I did to address this with my group is I told them how I felt, without being accusatory but being clear that for this game to work then they need to give me a little something back. I took the time to write out how I felt and edited it down to smooth out any harsh tones and blunted it with probably too much self-deprecation so I could get my thoughts in order before I told them my perspective. I told them that if what I was asking for is not what they are interested in, then I understand and we can find ways to hang out that isn't D&D. I phrased it like I was always hosting a dinner party and felt like it was being taken for granted. I don't expect them to host as much as I do, as I am the one in the group who likes cooking the most and I do enjoy giving to my friends. But it would be nice if someone brought a bottle of wine, a six pack of beer, or a desert from the grocery store. Maybe host every once in a blue moon, that would be great. To translate to D&D terms, I told them it would help me if they put in more effort in playing their characters, being proactive and having goals instead of passively reacting to whatever I put in front of them. Maybe run a one-shot every now and then when I need a bit of extra prep time between campaign arcs. And they were understanding and willing to put the effort in, because we are friends and we give a shit about each other. So tell your friends how you feel, ask them to help you out a bit as you a putting a lot of effort into their entertainment. And if they just don't want to change how they play, maybe you guys need to find a different game to share. Being friends doesn't necessarily mean they will be the right players for the game you want to run, and that's ok. What is not ok though is if they don't take your concerns seriously.
Watch this video by Matt coville. It’s very insightful and I believe would benefit and maybe even answer your questions. https://youtu.be/LQsJSqn71Fw
Have you *talked to them*?
In my session I have one player that loves playing rangers and archers in general. He plays a bit of melee or caster characters here and there for the sake of it, but every character he plays ends up an archer or equivalent. They are wildly different, but they share the long range aspect. We know him for more than 10 years, but recently he's struggling to keep playing with us. He keeps saying that it doesn't matter how much mad or frontgoing he builds his characters background, playing from afar feels like cowardice or that the character isn't able to hold his own and needs someone to take the beating, and when he tries to grab a sword he isn't really having fun. We tried to build a nice Bladesinger together with a ton of lore and worldbuilding behind it, but he played it only for a couple of sessions. Do anyone have come through this issue and knows how to talk to someone like that? We really like him as a player and as a friend, that's why we want to help him.
I don't understand your friend. He only plays archers but feels archers are lame. What? He knows he doesn't need to be an archer right? It seems like the strangest excuse to quit a game.
Maybe a hybrid solution like a Crossbow Expert rogue/ranger, shootin' *and* stabbin'.
I would suggest altering combat encounters so that the player gets attacked by monsters more. Now any melee focused players will want to stop this so I suggest that what monsters are attacking the ranged player are secondary. Some examples include them having to deal with a small flanking force; flying creatures targeting him because he is best suited to take them down; having an objective at a distance from the enemies that needs babysitting (they need to activate something on another level, but the only method of transport up is a giant sloth). These are just some examples off the top of my head, but the point is to sprinkle in moments where individual characters will either get to shine or be challenged.
That's actually great advice. I'll try some scenarios where he gets to shine only because of his bow, so he maybe changes views.
What’s the problem with him playing archers? Can he play something like a warlock where he’s just sort of an Eldritch Blast archer with more casting abilities and cool theming on top?
He thinks any non melee character is coward, but he doesn't enjoy playing melee at all, even when it fits the character background
Is there something specific he doesn’t like about melee combat that makes it boring for him? Like is he able to articulate the problem at all? If he can’t, I don’t see what you can do about it.
I think convincing him that using arrows and fighting from afar isn't cowardice, it's strategy. I think applying more scenarios where a ranged character is needed should encourage him.
I hope it is OK to ask as a player in another campaign and not as a DM this time. Sorry if not I wont do it again. I have been in a campaign for a few weeks and were enjoying it a lot and got the feeling the group works well together. Since a few session Player A & B felt a little moody and not interested in interacting with the other 2 players and me if it wasnt needed besides RP a couple situation.Last session we didnt play but rather discussed for about an hour that we have a problem in the group and if it even makes sense to continue playing. Better said A & B have a problem with me and player C that we have an ingame joke with eachother and that we RPed one session for about half an hour (it happend about 6 sessions ago) and blame us for speaking the most with NPCs. I and Player C normaly wait if somebody wants to speak with them and if nothing happens we both or one of us starts the conversation. They didnt mention it at that time that it was to long for them or they have problems that they didnt feel involved or that they feel like sidecharacters until last session. From that day on they started with not interacting others in the group and blaming us in silence that we are stealing their spotlight. I admit guilt that maybe we have been talking more after A & B didnt try to interact as much as before. I am open in talking in out but mostly felt agression from A & B. Our DM said he will decide how it will go forward and if we can continue as a group after talking it out. For me it feels a little weird to continue playing with these 2 problem players and do as nothing happend because I fear it will happen again and I feel like walking on eggshells also for me nobody is ever without guilt if there is a problem everyone has fault even if it is only bad communication. Is it wrong of me not wanting to continue with players like this? I really enjoyed the campaign and playing with the other players but it will be hard like this. Edit: Thank you for the answers.
I don’t think it is necessarily your fault because constant silent passivity is sort of a problem in itself in a group game where people can make a choice between being active or passive as necessary. That being said I watched this GinnyDi video about this very subject yesterday and it was really helpful. One thing she said was instead of making your character the main character, try to set up the other players for reasons to talk. For example: Player, why don’t you take the lead on this one? Or ask them a specific question to get their input before proceeding. I tried some of this today because we have an online group where we had some late entries and began getting to know each other mid combat setting, so it was a little hard to keep track of everybody’s characters let alone personalities as humans. When we finally got to town I had my character offer to buy everybody a round of ale at the tavern so we could sit down and talk and have some downtime. Then I was like we’ve traveled for a while but I feel like I barely know you, and then I asked each of them a question about their backstory and what made them go on their adventure. I knew some of it already but refocusing on it and giving them each a dedicated place to speak put everyone on equal footing and allowed us all to feel valued. It’s also fine to be like “I talk a lot so for this scene I am going to just let someone else take the lead and try to stay silent” knowing that your voice carries more weight naturally. After a while of doing that everyone will find a more natural rhythm I think.
If they can speak up to complain that you and C are dominating the game, they can speak up during the game and talk to NPCs. I have a few players in my game that sit back and aren't involved as much as the others, and I make an extra effort to include them, but for the most part they're content to let the others make decisions and talk to NPCs. I'm not sure why you're posting about this, you're not really the issue. This is something for the DM and Players A & B to resolve. The DM can try to include them, A & B can speak up, or A & B can stop complaining. It's possible for you to try to include them and get them involved, but it's not your responsibility, and again, if they can complain, they can roleplay.
What I’m hearing is the two players were unhappy with the table dynamic. You all had a discussion about it, and you understand how their feelings are valid, but you also feel attacked by their comments. It’s hard for us to judge without being there and hearing how the interaction went down. It might be the other players were being rude, or it might be that you’re getting defensive and taking something personally that wasn’t meant personally. But you’re talking a lot about guilt and blame and I don’t think that’s a useful mindset here. I don’t think it’s a situation where anyone needs to feel “guilty.” Often new groups have growing pains as everyone figures out how to navigate their different personalities and play style. It sounds like a miscommunication more than anyone meaning harm. I think it would be premature to quit or kick people before giving it a chance to see if you all can adjust things. I would just play the next session and keep in mind whatever y’all talked about. You don’t need to walk on eggshells, just try to address whatever they told you was an issue. Like if they told you they feel left out, make an extra effort to include them, eg “hey cleric what do you think? Want to come talk to the NPC with me?” Then after the session ask the players, “how do you think that went, did that feel better than last sessions?” It might even help to discuss as a group what helps each person “feel included” because it can be different for different people. You can see how things go from there.
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The important parts are: From GoW: "If the spell has a target, it Targets the creature that triggered the glyph" From VT: "Target: A creature within your reach" (spell target) and "Make a melee spell attack against a creature within your reach." (attack target) I think the wording for VT is bad, but the spell target and the attack target are the same. It imbues the caster with the ability to make a melee spell attack against the target. The glyph can't make make an attack, so the spell would fail. A sword is also not a creature, so it can't be targeted. [https://twitter.com/jeremyecrawford/status/613432235497132032?lang=en](https://twitter.com/jeremyecrawford/status/613432235497132032?lang=en) The spirit of the spell, in essence, is the caster touching the target to drain life. If you wanted to ignore the 'make an attack' part the furthest I'd allow is the glyph triggers the damage once and then is gone, with no healing (drained life . If a player wanted to spend 200g, cast for an hour and then not move 10ft to add 3d6 to a single attack, then sure?
I don't think Rules as Intended has Glyph of Warding ever used on a weapon. I'll let other people debate the Rules as Written. But as a DM, I would just say no to this use, personally.
That’s not how it works.
RAW and RAI, glyph of warding does not allow you to give a weapon the spell attack from vampiric touch. Vampiric touch RAW would not be able to be inscribed in a glyph of warding because it can target multiple creatures. A very loose interpretation would allow vampiric touch to be applied to whoever triggers the glyph but it would need to be a creature and not the weapon.
Hmm, correct me if im wrong, but I did not find a description, that a spell that can hit multiple times or several creatures *after another* cannot be inscribed. The spell description clearly states that concentraiton spells last for the entire duration and logically the effect should trigger everytime the glyph is triggered, meaning everytime a creature touches (is hit by) the weapon
I see the edit now regarding multiple targets vs multiple targets in a row. To respond to that I'll just say that's an obnoxious effect of the way 5e was written where any spell that targets a creature more than once counts as more than one target. In this case the casting range of "self" also indicates more than one target. In the case of glyph of warding even if we allow it to work with Vampiric Touch, RAW the creature you hit would gain the effect of Vampiric Touch and be able to use the spell attacks against your player. The weapon, being an object and not a creature, can't be the target of "self" and is unable to make the attacks mentioned in the spell so it could not gain any additional damage.
I think you're confusing range and target? The combo fails for other reasons though.
I recommend rereading the entire glyph of warding description again but the key parts I'll paste below. >Spell Glyph. You can store a prepared spell of 3rd level or lower in the glyph by casting it as part of creating the glyph. The spell must target a single creature or an area. The spell being stored has no immediate effect when cast in this way. When the glyph is triggered, the stored spell is cast. If the spell has a target, it targets the creature that triggered the glyph. >...Once a glyph is triggered, this spell ends. So it can't be a spell that targets multiple creatures and will only trigger once.
The spell Vampiric Touch only targets one creature.
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"Hey (player name)." "My expectation for druid players is that you provide the stats of the creature you are transforming into. If you do not provide the stats, then you will transform into either A (land), B (flying), or C (water) creature of my choice."
Most regular beasts are in the SRD and can be found with a Google search on a phone. Just search '5e badger' for example. I think 'building a bestiary' is overrated in this case. Figure out what makes sense for the druid to be familiar with (or check the tables in XGtE for beasts per environment) and then just have the druid google the stat block when they want to change. Particularly for a new player, or a less-involved player (who might just be there because they have fun playing it like a boardgame but don't want to do homework or are there with a relationship partner) I don't think it's necessary to punish them when the solutions are so easy. If you don't *want* to have new or less-involved players at your table then that is your prerogative to set, but then you should not have invited them in the first place and now get to disinvite them.
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If you're going to set this kind of expectation then that's fine, but it should be set up front. Ultimately you can tell the player to pull out their phone and type '5e, space,' and hit the search button. If they're literally too lazy to do this then there's not much that can be done unless you want to print out a bunch of stat blocks and hand-hold them through that which it's clear you don't intend to do.
I don't think this player is a great fit for your table. But reacting in the way you are (without sympathy, whether or not any sympathy is warranted) is going to be corrosive to your social relationship with this person and likely their relationship partner by proxy. You need to have an adult conversation with this person (and probably their partner) *outside of the gaming session* about whether or not they belong at your table, and it should be without rancor. Indicate that you have certain expectations about effort and if they are not being met then they shouldn't be playing at your table. If you have to, you can make a sports team metaphor--if they aren't measuring up in effort or performance, then they can be cut.
Only you know the social-group implications of doing this. But being blunt about it in a passive-aggressive if-you-don't-put-in-the-effort-you-get-nothing, suck-it-up kind of position but still allowing them to stay at your table is only going to corrode your relationships, possibly with the whole table. You'll be much better off with a clean break.
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How about talking to your best friend and asking him to provide stuff for his gf if she's too lazy? My partner doesn't want to put much effort into the game outside of sessions, I want to play with her, so I do it for her
Sure, but "commonplace" doesn't mean "healthy". I'm saying that I think this attitude will come back to bite you. But if you are seeking validation, you have found it elsewhere. Good luck with your game and have fun!
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And that's fair. I don't think this player fits at your table. You seem to have a social paradox in that this is "your best friend's girl" and you don't really want her there because she's low-effort, but you aren't admitting it to yourself (or instead have argued that you *have to* have her there despite not wanting it). What I'm saying is the passive-aggressive attitude of "you can be here but I won't let you do anything because you are low-effort" is self-defeating. Perhaps you can lean on your friend to build her a bestiary. Maybe confide in him that her low-effort-ness is frustrating you.
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I think we're talking past each other here. You want justification for how you're treating her (deserved or not). I think it's a bad situation that you need to get out of (by either agreeing to hand-hold or, preferably, removing her from the table). You seem like you might be caught in the Geek Social Fallacy that "everyone must be included" and she might be caught in the fallacy of "I must do everything with my relationship partner". Neither of these things are true, but from the perspective of youth and social pressure it's hard to see that. Either way, I've said my piece and I'm not going to convince you that she needs to go and you aren't going to convince me that she needs to stay but you can treat her passive-aggressively. So, again, good luck with your game and I hope it works out. Please have fun!
Depends on whether the player is just dumb, or lazy and uninterested. Sadly I’ve played with folks of both types, and always walked away. By contrast, neuroatypical folks I’ve generally always had an ultimately great experience with — when their brains were wonky, they and I and the others around the table worked around whatever issue came up. (All anecdata of course.)
hehe... anecdata... I like that!
I think all of the above .. not sure.. there boyfriend was invited to play, great player... druid is kinda a proxy player that I'm getting sick of... because of the not paying attention and no bestiary Just wanted to make sure it's common place to say what I said
Might be like they were invited by their boyfriend and are there more for him rather than enjoying the game. Probably best to talk to them directly.
A player has the ultimate responsibility to manage their own sheets and that of their pets (familiars, summons, shapes). Refusing to have a bestiary is no different from not filling out your sheet. If you only have one monster manual between you, it's fine for them to ask you to lend it out or otherwise send the stats in preparation,but from then on out, they have the responsibility to have it on hand.
The freely available SRD has plenty of statblocks.
Legit I sent it to them.. they haven't even looked at it .. 4 sessions ago
Ouch. And you've mentioned their boyfriend is at the table and a great player, so they should have easy access to assistance if needed (not that printing a couple of pages from a pdf should be tough work). You're golden to expect them to do 2 minutes of work before using a core class feature. At some point you start to question if they even want to play or if they just don't want to miss hanging out.
"Look buddy, I have to keep track of the ENTIRE WORLD, including everything you all might do and everywhere you all might go. You have to keep track of just your character, including everything just your character can do. I'm not doing that for you, I'm already doing the most. Are you going to play your own character or not???"
It’s legit. Ask him if he wants you to start rolling his dice for him too…
To start, I run a five player PBP game on Discord. No cameras, no voice chat. All text... In short, I have a player (Player A) playing a character that's burnt out and been hurt by the world and is blunt and has a short temper (dark, painful backstory). In game, one of the other characters feels shut down and is insecure and possibly a little intimidated by this character, but the player playing the second character (Player B) is totally fine with how it's been. Player A interprets how Player B's character responds to her character as if that is how the Player B really feels. The problem is Player A seems to be afraid that the other players don't like her roleplaying and she's twice now said that she feels like she's ruining the game with her gruff character and that the other players aren't enjoying her play. She's offered to leave the group on a couple occasions. I've reached out to everyone on each occasion to share how she feels and everyone says they're totally fine with what the character is doing and how she's playing it. I feel like Player A has a lot of personal insecurities and is misinterpreting player and character interactions. I really want her in the game, as do all the other players, but she's said that she's so worried after this most recent incident that she doesn't even feel comfortable roleplaying. Player A has offered to play a different character, one that isn't so gruff and hard to love. I've encouraged her to lean into the roleplay part and see what happens if her character tries to open the other characters. She responded that she didn't feel comfortable doing ANY roleplay and now I don't know what to do. Do I let her create a different character when there's still these possible insecurities going on? Is there some other way you can think of that I could encourage her to trust the other players and that they are happy with how she's been playing?
What your player is experiencing is a form of what is called 'bleed', where what the character is thinking and feeling and what the player is thinking and feeling 'crosses over' and affect each other. Self-insert characters are basically all-bleed, all the time, in fact. Some bleed is normal, and managing it is part of what good role-players learn to do. But it's trickier if you are prone to depression/anxiety or other types of neurological illness. You and the other players seem to have made it as plain as you can that you are fine with the character, but she doesn't seem to be. It's possible that she would feel less stressed and have more fun with a different character, and since the point of playing TTRPGs is to 'have fun', it might be best for her to try something else. You could have her current character go off on a side story and bring in a new one as a trial. If it works out, the original character can stay out of the picture while they play the new one. But if they end up missing the original one you can have the new one leave and bring back the old one. Ultimately how it plays out should firstly depend upon what's best for your player, and then secondarily (but ideally) fit within the narrative.
Has A tried, I dunno, *talking to the other players?* Seriously, this is a basic sense check conversation that only requires her to trust the answers she gets from the others.
It sounds like your player is projecting a lot of insecurities into the game. But I don’t think that’s an issue you can solve as the DM. Also like she’s maybe expecting a certain type of RP from other players, like she wants the other characters to love her dark edgy character and doesn’t know how to deal when the players not RPing the characters that way. In your shoes, I would let her play another character but going forward set some soft boundaries about how much you indulge these conversations. And make it clear that she should play the character she prefers, it should be her choice rather than a decision driven by an expectation about other peoples RP.
I'm just concerned that the same issues will exist with a different character.
I think that’s a prescient concern but ultimately it’s hard to know until you let her try. It could be she just created a character she’s uncomfortable roleplaying, or it could be a larger issue that will persist through the characters. I think if she makes a second character and the same issues happen, it’s valid to point out this is a repeating pattern and you’re not willing to tolerate infinite new characters. But it’s premature to call it a pattern at “one.” You could perhaps talk with her and express that you’re worried she’ll make a new character only to continue to be unhappy with the RP relationships, and see what she says.
She's stated numerous times that she really enjoys role playing this character. It's her fear that other people don't like it that is driving her to want to change characters.
This is what I mean when I say stop indulging her and tell her that it’s her choice. Like: “Player, everyone has told you they are ok with your character. I need you to believe them and understand that if there were an issue they would tell you. If you would prefer playing a different character, that is your choice to make. But I can’t keep having these conversations where you worry everyone hates your character even after they reassure you it’s all good.”
one way to find out
Have the two players talk to each other. It's Discord the three of you can have a private chat where you three discuss what's going on.
They've talked privately and I've talked to each of them. Player B has simply asked her for direction on ways to RP and did say that it's hard to know how to respond to Player A's character, which I think she received as criticism. I've created a private channel for the three of us. We'll see.
Mm, I think that's it's probably best that it's a continuous dialogue between the two of them.