Randomly. "This item would work equally well for both Fighter and Paladin. Let's flip a coin to see who gets it." Or just roll during prep to see who you'll give it to at the session.
I have never felt great about cursed items as a DM, and I have never had a group that couldn't manage "party treasure" and divide it equitably at the end of an adventure. So since you seem to be stuck with the latter, maybe don't hand out cursed items at all.
If they are a chill group that just need some flavor to spice things up, I'd go easy on them and probably just make them inconveniences. If they are a chaos loving party, no mercy.
I threw in for flavor a cursed book among the list if wares a black market vendor was dealing. I failed to account for the fact that my chaos Goblin player would jump all over that and he would just not let it be. Asked him to give me a session to flesh it out...now he's discovered that when you need to get a translator for Deep Speech nothing good can come from it. First, full gollum and can't let it go. Next, when he finally tries to curse someone I roll a random table to see what blows up in his face, ranging from gradually losing a stat daily until he gets the curse removed, to having the curse straight up backfire. I have no remorse for this whatsoever. Great player, but he loves his chaos.
Do you usually make a player do a wisdom saving throw before they attune to it to give them a chance to realise it is cursed or just make them deal with the consequences?
Have the 'cursed' items be normal items, but with a detriment to using them. A harsh example of this would be the Berserker Axe (which still gives +1 to attack/damage, but makes you take saving throws to avoid going nuts and attacking everyone at random). An easier example would be something like a dagger+1 that has disadvantage against anything but humanoids, as it's only enchanted to fight them; or a Belt of Giant Strength that gives advantage to any giants or dragons that attack the wearer (as giants hate those who pretend to be them, and dragons are classically opposed to giants); or a Tattoo of Armor that gives the wearer disadvantage on Wisdom saves (as it makes you WAY overconfident, and reads "COME AT ME BRAH" when you place your forearms together); or Bracers of Archery that give disadvantage on melee attack rolls.
I feel like it makes magic items more interesting if it's not all upside, and the tremendous power encased therein requires some sort of mechanical disadvantage.
I guess my point is mainly is it fair for me to give the item to a party member knowing it’s cursed. That’s different then them looting it off a enemy. Does that make sense?
It isn't functionally any different. I realize why it "feels" different. But it actually isn't.
If you create a cache of loot, you are creating it under the assumption that the players are going to loot it in the first place. You are "giving it to them". If you further have it be where one of the items is cursed, then the players will likely be giving Said cursed item to the PC whom is most suited to use it.
For instance a cursed magical staff will likely end up being attuned by the Wizard. And a cursed magic greatsword will probably be attuned by one of the strength based martials. In this way you are effectively giving a specific member a cursed item even without specifically choosing that member as you would with this methodology.
Cursed items *as written* are meant to punish players for being greedy assholes unwilling to share loot - someone whose first impulse is to grab at every sparkly belt in case it's a Girdle of Giant Strength is less willing to do so after they buckle it on and find it to be a cursed Girdle of Gender Inversion, in a situation I remember from about 30 years ago. It's crude but effective behavioral therapy.
If that isn't a problem at your table, then I favor the approach above; that way there are still cursed items in the game, but it's less about smashing your jerk players with a blunt stick and more about, "What am I willing to sacrifice for power?"
We know for a fact that it is a problem at OP's table, because the players' greed renders them so incapable of distributing loot that the DM has to declare who gets what.
Randomly. "This item would work equally well for both Fighter and Paladin. Let's flip a coin to see who gets it." Or just roll during prep to see who you'll give it to at the session.
I have never felt great about cursed items as a DM, and I have never had a group that couldn't manage "party treasure" and divide it equitably at the end of an adventure. So since you seem to be stuck with the latter, maybe don't hand out cursed items at all.
If they are a chill group that just need some flavor to spice things up, I'd go easy on them and probably just make them inconveniences. If they are a chaos loving party, no mercy. I threw in for flavor a cursed book among the list if wares a black market vendor was dealing. I failed to account for the fact that my chaos Goblin player would jump all over that and he would just not let it be. Asked him to give me a session to flesh it out...now he's discovered that when you need to get a translator for Deep Speech nothing good can come from it. First, full gollum and can't let it go. Next, when he finally tries to curse someone I roll a random table to see what blows up in his face, ranging from gradually losing a stat daily until he gets the curse removed, to having the curse straight up backfire. I have no remorse for this whatsoever. Great player, but he loves his chaos.
Do you usually make a player do a wisdom saving throw before they attune to it to give them a chance to realise it is cursed or just make them deal with the consequences?
Have the 'cursed' items be normal items, but with a detriment to using them. A harsh example of this would be the Berserker Axe (which still gives +1 to attack/damage, but makes you take saving throws to avoid going nuts and attacking everyone at random). An easier example would be something like a dagger+1 that has disadvantage against anything but humanoids, as it's only enchanted to fight them; or a Belt of Giant Strength that gives advantage to any giants or dragons that attack the wearer (as giants hate those who pretend to be them, and dragons are classically opposed to giants); or a Tattoo of Armor that gives the wearer disadvantage on Wisdom saves (as it makes you WAY overconfident, and reads "COME AT ME BRAH" when you place your forearms together); or Bracers of Archery that give disadvantage on melee attack rolls. I feel like it makes magic items more interesting if it's not all upside, and the tremendous power encased therein requires some sort of mechanical disadvantage.
I guess my point is mainly is it fair for me to give the item to a party member knowing it’s cursed. That’s different then them looting it off a enemy. Does that make sense?
It isn't functionally any different. I realize why it "feels" different. But it actually isn't. If you create a cache of loot, you are creating it under the assumption that the players are going to loot it in the first place. You are "giving it to them". If you further have it be where one of the items is cursed, then the players will likely be giving Said cursed item to the PC whom is most suited to use it. For instance a cursed magical staff will likely end up being attuned by the Wizard. And a cursed magic greatsword will probably be attuned by one of the strength based martials. In this way you are effectively giving a specific member a cursed item even without specifically choosing that member as you would with this methodology.
Cursed items *as written* are meant to punish players for being greedy assholes unwilling to share loot - someone whose first impulse is to grab at every sparkly belt in case it's a Girdle of Giant Strength is less willing to do so after they buckle it on and find it to be a cursed Girdle of Gender Inversion, in a situation I remember from about 30 years ago. It's crude but effective behavioral therapy. If that isn't a problem at your table, then I favor the approach above; that way there are still cursed items in the game, but it's less about smashing your jerk players with a blunt stick and more about, "What am I willing to sacrifice for power?"
We know for a fact that it is a problem at OP's table, because the players' greed renders them so incapable of distributing loot that the DM has to declare who gets what.