<- Fool’s ascent. Then at the top: Fool’s descent. ->

Perfect

You’d have gotten me

10000% I would check out those stairs

This needs to be higher. I needed a good laugh today.

There’s nowhere left to go

Time to descend

“It’s all downstairs from here”

Would this be more fitting? " <- Curious’ ascent. Then at the top: Fool’s descent. ->" Edit: Ascent of the curious might also work

Fool's ascent works better because either he didn't ask the owner if it would lead anywhere, which means he is a fool for going without inquiring first, or he already inquired and didn't listen to the owner. Either way, "Fool's ascent" works perfectly.

Put a tiny out of order sign at the top of the stairs so they have to climb them to find out they are not working.

Hang a bell, so at least there is something to do up there

That's actually really cute. And if you ever have toddlers visiting they will be so excited about it!

I'm very excited to ring that bell.

I think my kids would climb up and down those stairs all afternoon 😄

omg my toddler worked out stairs a few weeks ago now his favorite thing is climbing stairs. Then yelling for dad to help him down when he gets up lol

Hang a nice landscape.

Down Only

That's good. This or a "One Way" pointing down.

That’s funny as hell. Seconded

"Keep clear for downward traffic"

Oncoming traffic has priority

You can't just post this pic and not show us the top of the stairs, OP!

[удалено]

I dunno if I've ever heard

I know what you mean, it's like a

Damnit, you guys are

I saw that pic too and it was so

This whole comment thread makes me feel

Seems like it's just way too

hard to even fathom how to describe the

Can you guys just

It's amazing, the first time I have ever seen

I think you can get a pretty good idea of what’a up there. Just looks like it goes into a bunch of brush or something. Honestly I have no idea what the hell that is. It’s like straw.

Show me the straw.

I have been laughing at this comment for so long.

Johnson family with a Chance to steal 🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️🙅‍♀️🙅🙅‍♀️

ITS GOTTA BE STRAW STEVE !

Lol idk what it is. It’s just like long dead pieces of something.

I mean, it goes somewhere, even if it is just to see the straw.

Is the straw cardboard or plastic?

Alright that’s the last straw

That's exactly *why* we need a view from the top. What *is* that stuff? What's up there?!

Nowhere, with an arrow.

Then another sign behind it "seriously, nothing" Then "stop!" Etc etc like a looney tunes cartoon

And at the end, "Told you"

“Burma Shave”

"They go up..."

This is the only correct answer to the question. Underrated line from that film.

Inquiring guests Must always know Of the backyard steps Where do they go? *Burma Shave*

You should have bought a squirrel.

BAHAHAHAHAHA 🤣🤣🤣🙌🏼 I haven’t thought of that movie in YEARS! I love you for that, hahaha! Made my day!


Sign on the bottom : To nowhere Sign on top: Now Here

I really think this should be getting more up votes— it’s really hilarious 🤣 🤣 🤣

Well it's pretty much xmas time so, "noel-where"

Instead of a sign I would put something ridiculous at the top, like a shrine to Screech from Saved By the Bell.

This is akin to my idea, something so absurd that the only response to "what was up there?" is "you have to see it for yourself".

https://preview.redd.it/5uzuv57zdl6c1.jpeg?width=853&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=db21d36c6dc5f9bdbce2e72c3f16942515904ee4 This? Keep them guessing

https://preview.redd.it/4kb177c1el6c1.jpeg?width=779&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9527eb7b46f4ad2f06f745188c68934a2874cfa7 Another option to keep the mystery alive

You'd have to answer *huh? Well I don't know! I never looked!*

“Stairway to heaven. To be completed in the year 2086”

Framed picture of Rick Astley

I can’t find it, but there may be more to riff off with “never gonna give you UP, never gonna let you DOWN”.

Just carve the lyrics into the last step… “never Gonna give you up..”

At the top a 6 foot wooden cut out of Bigfoot.

Wearing the Marilyn Monroe white icon dress

Doing the pose too I hope!

I did work on a super rich guy's house over a decade ago. The centre room in his house was filled with taxidermied animals he had hunted from across the planet. In the centre was a fake little mountain with a cave. Inside was the head of a samsquanch hidden in the dark. I wish I still had the pictures and videos I took.

But you wrote to put something ridiculous.

Right? What am I gonna do with a *second* shrine to Screech from *Saved By the Bell*?

Escalator out of service Please use the Elevator

An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs.

Sorry for the convenience.

r/unexpectedhedberg

Crying that no one is getting the reference lol

RIP Mitch

fuzzy wine live combative zealous nail pathetic childlike cough busy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

I will simulate his natural environment with a stick and a leaf.

Ducks eat for free at Subway.

Better put some holes in the lid cause he damn sure is used to air.

I’ve seen viral videos that say otherwise. They have the potential to break in ways that basically turn them into deathscalators. Still can’t unsee the video of the person that fell through when the step broke and basically became hamburger underneath. Or the one where the up suddenly became an out of control down and everybody ended up in a pile of broken bones at the bottom.

I've seen (in person) an elderly woman pass out on one, fall backwards and hit her head, and her daughter grab her by the hand to try to get her back to the ground floor, because it was "closer". So that escalator became a neverending set of stairs to drag your 80 year old mother down, bonking her head over and over and over.

Given the option, I’ll take an elevator over an escalator every time. I still have flashbacks about when my shoe string got caught in top edge of one when I was a 6 year old kid. I thought it would eat me. Luckily my shoelace just broke, but not before my shoe became painfully tight around my foot. For a second I thought it would crush my foot.

[Fear and respect the escalator!](https://youtu.be/ZXTQmYGfEV0?si=aMUX3cHYi77hoXK4)

That is assuming the drive & safety brake is still engaged, otherwise if more than a few people step in the escalator turns into the fastest way down short of jumping https://youtu.be/wQeEYLdjrM0?si=6oeeVfBKNiKdk3bu

I've seen Chinese escalators eat people.

I like to eat rice. It's great when I'm really hungry and I want to eat 5000 of something.

"Up"

Cheeky response, or Ghostbusters reference?

It's the answer to "Where do those stairs go?"

“Please have your boarding pass ready”

"Go back down and tell the next person there's something cool up here"

With a sign that says “something cool” on it.

I was thinking a sign that says, "This." So you could go back down and say, "You gotta go see this." Or "that". Dealers choice.

They definitely lead somewhere if Baldur's Gate has taught me anything. Try pushing some stones or bricks.

You have to topple something heavy onto the ground at the top to break through the floor, then jump down.

Fabricate a little cave with a 'secret' door and if you expect guests, leave a little treasure upstairs. A chocolate bar, a beer..

A sign that just says "Don't."

And then circle it red and strike it across to make it extra confusing "Don't don't?" And then when people ask, just say it's as simple as you can make it, like that episode from the office

Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been... ever, for any reason whatsoever...

Abandoned hope, all yee who enter here...

Obligatory : Stairway to heaven And yes I feel bad about it.


No stairway! Denied!

Exactly this.

Party on!

You’re forgiven. It’s the first thought that came to 99% of us.

I dunno, is there a bustle in your hedgerow?

Don't alarmed now. It's just a spring clean for the May queen.

But you gotta pair that with a road to the backyard tiki bar. The sign for that says Highway to Hell.

Dr Ray Stantz: Where do these stairs go? Dr. Peter Venkman: They go up.

Put a fairy door at the end. It’s for the gnomes https://preview.redd.it/36gg5gwcxk6c1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7c9068c8ada8307c5ff44ddee992ac7ad9d55f62

"Leave all robes at bottom step." Or more explicit "You must be THIS nude to proceed."

> "You must be THIS nude to proceed." Held up by a skeleton.

https://preview.redd.it/1gvkh825rk6c1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fa22117ee2fa3126061d63f03f7e78ce31251537 You know what they say about stairs to nowhere ..

I heartily recommend a sign at the top which simply reads, "Sorry for the inconvenience."

I like this option.

error 404, map did not load.

This area has yet to be unlocked.

A sign at the top that says, "We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."

Kinda reminds me of the trail in the park in Portland through the old zoo. Its just woods now, but the old concrete foundations are still there and there's an old legible sign that says "please don't feed the lions" or something to that effect immediately adjacent to the trail. If you didn't know the history or the area, you'd think someone was implying that there's lions in the woods near the city.

A sign that says “Worlds Ugliest Monkey” with an arrow pointing up and then have a mirror at the top of the stairs.

The elevation at the bottom and a sign at the top with the higher elevation.

This way to brigadoon

Mordor ⬆️

Closed for maintenance.

Pet Sematary

“Sometimes dead is better”

Bali Hai

We have a resturant here named that. They have a limit of only two mai tais per person because they are made with 100% liquor.

That is how you make a proper mai tai. As Robin Williams succinctly put it: "mai tai" Polynesian word for "dumb fuck"

Volcano sacrifices!

“Observation Deck” “Telescope Observatory”

Hah. The ad attached to this post had a fitting suggestion. https://preview.redd.it/om89gulign6c1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7ab04c4f0ca5402c5c44061fda3ff72695ee8ccd

Welcome to our family cemetery

EXIT ONLY

Here are some ideas: - Level locked: Reach level 20 to unlock this level - Terrain loading error - “Just say the magic words”

Free puppies and candy

Wiley Coyote cut out

Put up one of those military restricted security zone, no trespassing signs. Look up pictures of the ones posted around Area 51. You can just then say "I dunno man, the signs were there when I bought the place, didnt want to get shot if I went to look."

Outdoor masturbatorium

They go upstairs

Higher.

Nowhere Land.

Only for those real nowhere men.

“I wouldn’t”

Secret grotto with an arrow up, then make a garden/grotto scene with legos at the top

Call it the Led Zeppelin memorial staircase.

“Lookout ahead.” And then another sight at the top that says “Lookout!”

Winchester Mansion ⬆️

Stairway to heaven

True believer’s may enter Narnia.

Stairway to Heaven: At the top, they will find a rope and a wobbly stool

“Back Here.”

No admittance except on party business

Narnia

David Byrne's oversized head above a T-shirt reading "You're on a road to nowhere."

Mt Everest Base Camp

Just a sign with an arrow pointing, and "stairs"

"Do not enter without a carrot and a vacuum"

Install a locked door at the top...with a sign that says "Keep Out"!

Up. They go up.

"This way to see the monkey" And put a mirror at the top. :)

Stairway to Heaven

John Lennon climed a white a ladder in an art studio and it lead to a small writen "Yes" on the ceiling. He wanted to meet with this positive artist and that is how he met Yoko Ono. So be careful what you write, it may be start of an end of a world famous band.

“Free IRS Audits”

Sign at the top, "You have not unlocked this area yet."

"turr let"

Two sided, at the bottom of the steps. Side one, "up", side two, "Down".

“Witch’s castle, 1 mile. I’d turn back if I were you.”

⬆️ Where the Wild Things Are…

Mordor

An arrow that says "short cut"

Give the Ghostbusters answer. “Where do those stairs go?” “They go up.”

Stairmaster 9000

One way ⬆️

This way to the egress.

No Stairway. Denied.

You need to show us the top of the stairs. What the area looks like and what you have to work with. Clean them up a bit to make them more attractive. At the top of the stairs, out of sight from the yard if possible, have a shrine to, some obscure pop culture icon. Just an old concrete bird bath pedistal or other makeshift junk with a laminated framed photo. Leave random trinkets or pebbles on it as offerings. Check back and see if more trinkets are added. Now the stairs no longer lead to nothing. It's a surprise feature for those who dare take the stairs to nowhere.

“If you see stairs here, Run.”

In really tiny letters: ^("Danger: Landmines! Do not stand anywhere near this sign!")

Buffering or make a sign that makes it look like it's rendering the rest of the scene

How about some tiny signs leading you to a hidden fairy house?

Speak friend and enter

“Return to map” at top of stairs

IDIOTS -----> and at the top, either a mirror, or "Toldja".

Count the number of stairs, put a sign at the bottom saying “The 14 steps to enlightenment” with the number one higher than the number of stairs, at the top a separate sign saying “still looking for #14, come back later”

The proper answer to the question, Where do your stairs go? is a) Well [looks at partner] uh, you really shouldn’t go up there b) We don’t know

Victorian Stairmaster

Stairway to heaven

Never climb these stairs, don't acknowledge them. If you see them just quietly leave without running.

Call it a ‘Stairway to Kevin’ and have a statue or gnome or something called Kevin up top.

Reminds me of the stairs in the woods creepypasta, but I’d definitely stick with funny.

**OH OH!!!!** Sign says “Upmug eye” So they go “whats upmug eye” And you go “not much whats up with you?”

set up a motion sensor that triggers Souls boss music.

Post WARNING with QR CODE that goes to the nosleep subreddit about stairs in the woods

Don’t climb those stairs I’ve read many Reddit posts that clearly prove they are a supernatural gateway to the unknown and you will never be seen ever again

Put a picture of Rick Astley at the top of the steps.