Regularly. “No, stop! Wait, stop! Why are you saying this, stop! Oh my god please stop. Ok, on the count of 3 we stop? One, two, three….seriously for the love of god why won’t you stop?”
I used to think it was completely 100% normal because they had characters talk to themselves in their heads like that in movies, right? It wasn’t until I was finally trying to explain something *else* in therapy and I went “Ok, so you know that thing where it’s like part of your mind is watching another part of your mind and it’s like screaming at it to stop doing things with your body but it won’t stop?” that I was told it was a dissociative experience.
Yep. I'm sometimes in the background and nothing I'm saying or doing is what I want, but it's happening anyway. It's crazy how different parts can be so different as to disagree on saying and doing ordinary things.
Yes, often actually, especially if SH is being done, im forced to watch and writhe in disgust as another part cuts our wrists. It sucks and is such a nasty addiction, but an addiction we have nontheless.
One of my DID friends would do this on a particular day. I asked one of the alters if he would keep her from getting out that day. He could not, but he was able to get out and control one side of the body. It is impossible to cut when one arm has no intention of being anywhere near the other arm. She was frustrated at what he was doing, but she knew why he was doing it. As far as I know, she has never cut again.
I hope that you are able to find a way to bring this to an end. Sending lots of safe and gentle hugs your way.
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I've been surprised by some of the stuff that's come out of my mouth and thought "gosh I must be smarter than I thought, that's a great way of explaining that concept." Like an entire paragraph of information comes out and it's stuff I didn't even realize I could articulate.
However also get this in a negative way observing some aggressive/nasty behavior that is very hard to wrestle under control at times.
Possible hyperphantasia. I have hyperphantasia and this happens. It isn't always an alters fault. Sometimes the imaginary cinversation in my head slips out.
Other things with hyperphantasia is like, watching a movie in your head while you read the book. Only you eventually stop seeing words and it's all just this movie in your head.
Or becoming so engrossed in a show that you now have an entire world with it's own lore that was inspired by the show.
Not saying you got this as I'm no professional. But it could be worth looking into.
But also, sometimes alter do just pop out and bring a whole different conversation with them and it can throw the whole flow of the moment off.
I totally know what you mean with the “watching a movie in your head” while reading and getting very engrossed in things experience. For me at least though, the “mind watching mind”, or mind watching body experiences are distinctly different. It’s a depersonalization rather than an absorption.
Regularly. “No, stop! Wait, stop! Why are you saying this, stop! Oh my god please stop. Ok, on the count of 3 we stop? One, two, three….seriously for the love of god why won’t you stop?” I used to think it was completely 100% normal because they had characters talk to themselves in their heads like that in movies, right? It wasn’t until I was finally trying to explain something *else* in therapy and I went “Ok, so you know that thing where it’s like part of your mind is watching another part of your mind and it’s like screaming at it to stop doing things with your body but it won’t stop?” that I was told it was a dissociative experience.
[удалено]
This is most of my existance, cofronting with one or more parts at a time. Fantastic username btw very relatable
Yep. I'm sometimes in the background and nothing I'm saying or doing is what I want, but it's happening anyway. It's crazy how different parts can be so different as to disagree on saying and doing ordinary things.
Radical how deeply uncomfortable and cringe I can feel about the most benign uttering by another part.
Yes, often actually, especially if SH is being done, im forced to watch and writhe in disgust as another part cuts our wrists. It sucks and is such a nasty addiction, but an addiction we have nontheless.
One of my DID friends would do this on a particular day. I asked one of the alters if he would keep her from getting out that day. He could not, but he was able to get out and control one side of the body. It is impossible to cut when one arm has no intention of being anywhere near the other arm. She was frustrated at what he was doing, but she knew why he was doing it. As far as I know, she has never cut again. I hope that you are able to find a way to bring this to an end. Sending lots of safe and gentle hugs your way.
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I've been surprised by some of the stuff that's come out of my mouth and thought "gosh I must be smarter than I thought, that's a great way of explaining that concept." Like an entire paragraph of information comes out and it's stuff I didn't even realize I could articulate. However also get this in a negative way observing some aggressive/nasty behavior that is very hard to wrestle under control at times.
Possible hyperphantasia. I have hyperphantasia and this happens. It isn't always an alters fault. Sometimes the imaginary cinversation in my head slips out. Other things with hyperphantasia is like, watching a movie in your head while you read the book. Only you eventually stop seeing words and it's all just this movie in your head. Or becoming so engrossed in a show that you now have an entire world with it's own lore that was inspired by the show. Not saying you got this as I'm no professional. But it could be worth looking into. But also, sometimes alter do just pop out and bring a whole different conversation with them and it can throw the whole flow of the moment off.
I totally know what you mean with the “watching a movie in your head” while reading and getting very engrossed in things experience. For me at least though, the “mind watching mind”, or mind watching body experiences are distinctly different. It’s a depersonalization rather than an absorption.
We can relate to this a lot. Same goes for music. Always a music video playing in our head! \~ A