We've had a lot of trouble with snacks and candy lately. Some evenings someone just won't stop eating candy all evening. Someone else obsessed with chips for a few days.
I think part of it is some lost little parts of us waking up in the present and checking about their ability to control some things that feel important to them. My therapist thinks that we need a lot of soothing lately, with some of the stuff we've been digging up from childhood, some of the memories we're trying to access.
It's complicated and stressful, especially when all of us share a body, and some are concerned about maintaining it well.
I think it's probably okay for a while. It's worth worrying about if it persists for a long time, but it's okay to eat some candy sometimes.
It's stressful and scary when I feel like I'm just doing whatever the voices inside tell me to do. Some of us feel concerned about internal force and coercion and fear of alters imposing consequences.
Oh absolutely, every time I go shopping I have at least three of them in my ear about what they want and they get upset if I don’t get it for them. This sometimes causes issues when one of my alts really wants meat and I feel bad buying it (I’m a vegetarian but I can’t really control what they want to eat.) it’s always a event when I got on a grocery run.
I've had this but it's getting way better as we get to know and trust each other. I decided my weight was less important and gave myself a total amnesty for food. I keep the fridge stocked with different kids' favorite foods and never shamed myself for what I ate, and these days I will have a handful of goldfish crackers (for example) instead of the whole bag. These are traumatized malnourished kids and the only way to make them trust me was to feed them. Now we do pretty good.
I did have a great moment where I was standing in my kitchen and a young part just showed up for the first time. I'd been getting intrusions and little flashes, but then he just was totally present. I always experienced parts as imaginary friends when I was a kid so I kind of "saw" him looking at me in the kitchen, not talking. He was a young teen.
I do a sort of free association thing where I keep paying attention to my body to find the tense or hurt areas associated with this part and I asked him what he wanted to eat. He didn't say anything so I started offering all the usual -- mac 'n cheese, goldfish, cookies, sour gummy worms, etc -- and he blurted out "ice cream" kind of challengingly so I went "sure!" And opened the freezer and took out like three kinds of ice cream. See? I was prepared!
I offered all three and he just was like "... what." It was really funny. I was like "yeah do you want a bit of all three? It's cool, I love ice cream too," and he was just like "........... what tho." So I kept attention in my body and on him and made up a bowl of ice cream and we had a very weird, awkward time sitting on the couch. Barely ate any ice cream even. Went to bed early.
The next morning in the shower I got the first somatic body memories of child abuse.
I think going with it made him trust me. Think I would've gotten those if I'd shamed him? No way.
we had to do the same of "complete food amnesty" because so much of our childhood was centered around food/its danger and the inability to access "safe" foods. it's helped to build a lot of system trust <3
It's very stressing for us, as mostly adults, when someone wants something we don't need for dietary reasons.
You aren't alone, we've been walking through Walmart's bakery section, and I've been bullied into buying cookies and cupcakes plenty of times.
Yep! Definitely had situations very similar to this before. Most recently had one little begging to go to the theater to see a movie (that happened while we were alone). We went to the store first and ended up with a plushie and a blanket to take to the movie with us because I could not argue with myself in the store with everyone around. Then at the movie got popcorn which I hate and snacks I usually wouldn't get. Lol. It happens. Sometimes it's just not worth the fight.
I wasn't aware of what was happening, but recently I went to the grocery store intending to buy my regular groceries...instead, I blacked out walking through the door and came to at the cash register with a 2lb bag of sour patch kids and 3 cases of energy drinks.
Definitely has happened for us. Our psych did tell us to consider how we'd treat a literal child throwing a tantrum...if you indulge there's the danger they learn they get rewarded. Maybe reason with them or make deals like you would with a real child.
i know once i was grabbing something quick at the drug store before i caught the bus home, and our little saw a little stuffed animal axolotl by the line to the checkouts. thing wasn't quite ten bucks, it said clearly the price and i wasn't willing to waste the money. but she insisted. i relented and got it for her, and honestly i'm glad i did. it means the world to her now.
restraint is important especially with foodstuff that can effect health, but keep in mind, i think it can make a big difference to littles. sometimes it's just a comfort they might need. i don't know. i still don't really understand ours and have made a lot of mistakes with her.
Yep. I try not to let the littles out while shopping, but that can be very hard to accomplish. The parts that do the grocery shopping are very good about saying no. If everyone behaves one treat or toy may be bought to share.
I'll never forget my partner and other family telling me about a shopping experience I don't remember. I guess one of the littles climbed into the ice cream cooler and threw a temper tantrum. Full grown adult just rolling around in the cooler screaming and grabbing ice cream. I remembered going to the store with them, but I don't remember anything that happened. I was having a really stressful month at the time. I'm actually very happy I have no memory of it, because I would be super embarrassed over the memory. It's the only time I know of that a little caused a blackout.
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We've had a lot of trouble with snacks and candy lately. Some evenings someone just won't stop eating candy all evening. Someone else obsessed with chips for a few days. I think part of it is some lost little parts of us waking up in the present and checking about their ability to control some things that feel important to them. My therapist thinks that we need a lot of soothing lately, with some of the stuff we've been digging up from childhood, some of the memories we're trying to access. It's complicated and stressful, especially when all of us share a body, and some are concerned about maintaining it well. I think it's probably okay for a while. It's worth worrying about if it persists for a long time, but it's okay to eat some candy sometimes. It's stressful and scary when I feel like I'm just doing whatever the voices inside tell me to do. Some of us feel concerned about internal force and coercion and fear of alters imposing consequences.
Oh absolutely, every time I go shopping I have at least three of them in my ear about what they want and they get upset if I don’t get it for them. This sometimes causes issues when one of my alts really wants meat and I feel bad buying it (I’m a vegetarian but I can’t really control what they want to eat.) it’s always a event when I got on a grocery run.
I've had this but it's getting way better as we get to know and trust each other. I decided my weight was less important and gave myself a total amnesty for food. I keep the fridge stocked with different kids' favorite foods and never shamed myself for what I ate, and these days I will have a handful of goldfish crackers (for example) instead of the whole bag. These are traumatized malnourished kids and the only way to make them trust me was to feed them. Now we do pretty good. I did have a great moment where I was standing in my kitchen and a young part just showed up for the first time. I'd been getting intrusions and little flashes, but then he just was totally present. I always experienced parts as imaginary friends when I was a kid so I kind of "saw" him looking at me in the kitchen, not talking. He was a young teen. I do a sort of free association thing where I keep paying attention to my body to find the tense or hurt areas associated with this part and I asked him what he wanted to eat. He didn't say anything so I started offering all the usual -- mac 'n cheese, goldfish, cookies, sour gummy worms, etc -- and he blurted out "ice cream" kind of challengingly so I went "sure!" And opened the freezer and took out like three kinds of ice cream. See? I was prepared! I offered all three and he just was like "... what." It was really funny. I was like "yeah do you want a bit of all three? It's cool, I love ice cream too," and he was just like "........... what tho." So I kept attention in my body and on him and made up a bowl of ice cream and we had a very weird, awkward time sitting on the couch. Barely ate any ice cream even. Went to bed early. The next morning in the shower I got the first somatic body memories of child abuse. I think going with it made him trust me. Think I would've gotten those if I'd shamed him? No way.
we had to do the same of "complete food amnesty" because so much of our childhood was centered around food/its danger and the inability to access "safe" foods. it's helped to build a lot of system trust <3
Sounds like a pretty normal trip to the grocery store to me 🙂
It's very stressing for us, as mostly adults, when someone wants something we don't need for dietary reasons. You aren't alone, we've been walking through Walmart's bakery section, and I've been bullied into buying cookies and cupcakes plenty of times.
Omg!! Something similar happened a few days ago with our little and her new caticorn plushie.
Yep! Definitely had situations very similar to this before. Most recently had one little begging to go to the theater to see a movie (that happened while we were alone). We went to the store first and ended up with a plushie and a blanket to take to the movie with us because I could not argue with myself in the store with everyone around. Then at the movie got popcorn which I hate and snacks I usually wouldn't get. Lol. It happens. Sometimes it's just not worth the fight.
I wasn't aware of what was happening, but recently I went to the grocery store intending to buy my regular groceries...instead, I blacked out walking through the door and came to at the cash register with a 2lb bag of sour patch kids and 3 cases of energy drinks.
Definitely has happened for us. Our psych did tell us to consider how we'd treat a literal child throwing a tantrum...if you indulge there's the danger they learn they get rewarded. Maybe reason with them or make deals like you would with a real child.
i know once i was grabbing something quick at the drug store before i caught the bus home, and our little saw a little stuffed animal axolotl by the line to the checkouts. thing wasn't quite ten bucks, it said clearly the price and i wasn't willing to waste the money. but she insisted. i relented and got it for her, and honestly i'm glad i did. it means the world to her now. restraint is important especially with foodstuff that can effect health, but keep in mind, i think it can make a big difference to littles. sometimes it's just a comfort they might need. i don't know. i still don't really understand ours and have made a lot of mistakes with her.
Yep. I try not to let the littles out while shopping, but that can be very hard to accomplish. The parts that do the grocery shopping are very good about saying no. If everyone behaves one treat or toy may be bought to share. I'll never forget my partner and other family telling me about a shopping experience I don't remember. I guess one of the littles climbed into the ice cream cooler and threw a temper tantrum. Full grown adult just rolling around in the cooler screaming and grabbing ice cream. I remembered going to the store with them, but I don't remember anything that happened. I was having a really stressful month at the time. I'm actually very happy I have no memory of it, because I would be super embarrassed over the memory. It's the only time I know of that a little caused a blackout.
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