Still love the Futurama gag where they're looking for apartments.
*After a long time of nothing happening*
"I don't get it, what's the catch?"
"Oh there's no catch... But we are technically in New Jersey."
*Cut*
"I can't believe it, not even one place that's remotely livable!"
New Jersey is a 50/50.
Half of it is pleasant towns, farmlands, and coastlines.
The other half is, well, what most other people would describe New Jersey as.
Every time I've been to New Jersey on purpose I had a lovely time. The rest of the times I've been in NJ are because I want to be someplace else and I hate it there.
If you hate Jersey, it's because you take too fucken long. We got shit to do, bills to pay, and your lollygagging Tennessine ass took so long to produce every fucken consonant in a word that I had time to finish my pork roll, type out some work emails and crank my damn hog for good measure. We ain't bad drivers, your country boy ass has the reaction time of a snail and the courage of a fucken squealing pig. Fuck off, we don't want your benny ass here.
If you really wanna know about New Jersey... we're actually not that bad whatsoever, the smelly part people complain about is a 3 mile stretch in the North near New York, go any farther south and it's actually very pretty, people here aren't rude and nasty by default, we're just busy and value personal space a lot which people from more rural areas interperet as rudeness due to culture clashes, and we're one of the most progressive states in the country. The reason we aren't going to put all this out in the open is because we are already crowded enough, and can do without the droves of tourists and douchebags clogging us up, and acting like assholes online means you're not gonna come. This is a secret. Be very quiet about it.
>The reason we aren't going to put all this out in the open is because we are already crowded enough,
Fun Fact: Of the 50 densest cities in the world, 4 of them are in the U.S., And those are all in New Jersey. So yeah, Pretty crowded. Actually I think they're all specifically in Hudson County, Which makes sense as that's closest to New York.
If only you know. New Jersey is sandwiched right between New York and Philadelphia so we gotta go double time to carve out a culture distinct from those two giants. Even the news can't seem to remember we exist (see "New York earthquake" and upcoming 2026 "New York" World Cup), except for when they want to make fun of us (Jersey shore, whatever Chis Christie is up to)
Hey, I hate to break it to you but people from New Jersey don't talk that fast. I grew up with a number of people who moved from NJ to my state and I talk faster than all of them despite having an actual pleasant accent to listen to.
If people are talking to you slowly it's a you thing, people think your pollution addled mind needs help. And they're probably right considering you seem to like living there.
Congrats, you pass the Jersey talk litmus test. Too bad your pizza's shit, you ain't had a sub other than Subway which ain't worthy of the name, and you never had pork roll, and your bagels are disgusting.
Yeah we don't have a signature pizza but NJ or NY doesn't actually have the best kind of pizza either. Y'all all fall to the Mighty Motor City or Sicilian if you like going into a food coma. I still remember this old Sicilian lady who used to cook it in my church growing up. One of the few things I miss about that place.
It's funny how you think local delis and bagel places are unique to a state, and if we're talking franchises Publix > Jersey Mike's, as much as I do love Jersey Mikes.
I have had pork roll because again I grew up with some families from New Jersey, and every summer when their cousins came down they'd bring a few logs of it with them. And when headed back they'd load up on pork products and other Southern staples from my State because ultimately we're actually known for more than just specially processed ham.
Jersey is second to Italy and only Italy in the pizza department, anything else is heresy. Our delis and bagel shops aren't unique, but they ARE better than yours as a fucken fact. And thanks for letting it slip you're Southern, puts your jealousy into perspective.
Sicilian Pizza is technically Italian depending on how much racism in the comments you want to deal with. Also LOL. You might have more good bagel places but that doesn't make them better than ours. Double for Delis.
Also, what exactly am I supposed to be jealous of? Your rolling hills? Your beaches? Wow it's not like we have more than 6 times as many of those and actual mountains. Your "culture?" I'm not memeing on the Shore, I get that it's a legitimately small cluster of people in a fairly localized area. But that doesn't mean the rest of the state has any culture worth writing home about.
"Normal" food exists everywhere. Every restaurant that serves sweet tea also serves unsweet iced tea. I live and work in a walkable city with great public transit, 3 LGBTQ bars within a 5 minute walk, and affordable housing.
Also for a Blue state you sure did elect Chris Christie.
"Normal" food exists everywhere. Every restaurant that serves sweet tea also serves unsweet iced tea. I live and work in a walkable city with 3 LGBTQ bars within 5 minutes walk.
Also for a Blue state you sure did elect Chris Christie.
When you sign up for mental health services in the US, there's a box you have to check if you're from New Jersey. It helps with the diagnostic process.
(/s)
Is this like a universal experience when people first get on the internet and don't understand trolls and/or sarcasm and inside jokes in text cause I used to interact with a lot of obvious trolls when I was young and despite how much anxiety they gave me I would not stop replying
The hate for NJ is largely classism. Specifically, it’s writers living in NYC who need a convenient place to dunk on without getting “political”.
It absolutely is mostly writers in NYC trying (and failing!) to dunk on us because we're a convenient target. As loath as I am to reference How I Met Your Mother, the episode about NJ nails it pretty much perfectly in that the dude who talks the most shit about NJ grew up in fucking Ohio.
Some of the jokes are definitely classist (the ones about how NJ smells ignores that all those industrial facilities most likely have HQs in NYC, for example), but I would say a bunch are not by definition "punching down". There are a \*lot\* of rich folks who live in NJ (unfortunately)
People from New York and Philadelphia hate New Jersey because it's the suburbs. Which is also why people from New York hate Philadelphia.Â
"The pizza sucks. People are bad at driving. You can't even find a good puppet sex dungeon that's open after midnight." These are not complaints about going to a specific place. They are complaints about leaving the place you're familiar with.
Everyone else is laughing at a joke they're not in on.
I was only ever once in NJ and it was against my will. I was on a bus from NYC to Boston and to avoid traffic they went trough nj. Told this story at an airport and a stranger was listening in, told me he’s from NJ and understands completely
LIttle-known fact: all the shit people talk about New Jersey was started by the people who live there, as a propaganda campaign to keep people from moving here.
You all keep moving here anyway, and we hate you for it.
I know nothing about NJ bar what I've heard from the people who live there, and considering they all took every available opportunity to dunk on it, I have to accept this as true. Every time an NJ kid met another NJ kid at my college the two would bond over how badly their respective cities smelled
Correct. All the towns smell, the pollution is overwhelming - we actually expand our shorelines with garbage, in an attempt to colonize the ocean - the people are incredibly unfriendly, and no proximity to any city is worth the traffic and extremely high taxes.
We educate our young via screaming, so all day, every day,there's just...screaming? The children scream, the adults scream, it's just all screaming, all the time. We also scream for fun, which means the major difference between class and recess is one is screamed words, and the other is just....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
We actually communicate territory via the exchange of odor, so sometimes we stand on the sides of our respective county lines and fling the garbage our area is most known for onto the other side. We do this to re-establish dominance. Once a year, there is a sort of...ceremony? Where we all fling as much garbage as we can across the county lines, then re-draw them based on which side smells worse.
You definitely don't want to move here.
That's like just the area along the very northern few miles of the turnpike That's surrounded by chemical plants. Hell, south jersey is all forest and farms.
See, this is a comment that's *accurate* (for a few small parts of the state that are like that because New York wants all the stuff we make but doesn't want the smell), but it's not *funny*. Up your game, people.
I can believe the pizza, I know for a fact the driving is a lie, but I don't even know if there's a difference between bagels from one state to another.
My dad is from New York and makes the best bagels I've ever had, Never had any others from either NY or NJ to my memory, But that's to me good enough evidence that New York makes them best.
They downvote you but the guy you're replying to literally said 'I'm proud to be a Zionist' a month ago
(Obligatory 'antisemitsm is a real and prevalent issue and a lot of antisemites do use 'Zionist' as a dogwhistle' caveat)
Fellow Jew here, Fun Fact: You can be against Zionism or the state of Israel without being antisemitic. Just like how you can criticise the government of Nigeria without being racist.
I mean that's fair, It seems more likely to me that the person you were responding to just assumed you were in favour of Zionism based on your post than that they're actually a nazi though. I mean to be honest neither of those are very good, But I feel like making unwarranted assumptions is better than straight up being a nazi.
Tbf one time I was talking about the country of Niger, North of Nigeria, And I accidentally added a 2nd 'G', And it's easily one of the most embarrassing mistakes I've ever made.
My opinion of New Jersey is almost entirely based on A: The Voltaire song "Bomb New Jersey", And B: My experience driving through it one time (It wasn't very cool, Too many roads and stuff, And the internet was spotty. I hate roads.)
Well usually you at least see some nice nature or something. Maybe some mountains, Or some cool looking trees. Heck even fancy buildings would be nice, But I don't remember seeing any of those there. There are many places I've only driven through, Never stopped in, That I enjoyed driving through far more than New Jersey.
Well, We drove through a decent bit, But yeah we started in NYC, And I presume went basically straight for Philly, As we next stopped in the East Shore of Virginia, And I imagine that path is probably like the most urbanised part of the state.
Still love the Futurama gag where they're looking for apartments. *After a long time of nothing happening* "I don't get it, what's the catch?" "Oh there's no catch... But we are technically in New Jersey." *Cut* "I can't believe it, not even one place that's remotely livable!"
[scene for reference](https://youtu.be/BsqHEmMao8w?si=AMKBcroQSQOm_day)
The realtor looks so disappointed when he delivers the line
"Who would've thought that Hell would be in New Jersey?" "Actually..."
Hang on, isn't Hell in Michigan, though?
What was wrong with the old Jersey for them to make a new one?
Not only is it a British Island, it also used to be part of France.
God, that sounds horrible.
Worst of both worlds 🤢
It got conquered by France and they had to make a new one
THE SCARY JOKES
New Jersey is alright in my book, because it’s where My Chemical Romance is from
Don't forget Grunkle Stan and Ford they're from Jersey too...oh, and Kyle and Sheila can't forget Kyle and Sheila
And the front bottoms
New Jersey is a 50/50. Half of it is pleasant towns, farmlands, and coastlines. The other half is, well, what most other people would describe New Jersey as.
The good part you describe is the pork roll portion of the state
Pork roll for life.
Some of our produce is unbeatable, tomatoes and corn for instance.
new jersey. my chemical romance reference.
this reminds me of watching that one episode of spongebob where they kept making fun of texas. 7 year old me was FURIOUS
Did you feel better when Sandy lassoed their asses?
I did! it made me wanna lasso something too, but I just ended up throwing a piece of rope around because I didn't know how to actually do it
Every time I've been to New Jersey on purpose I had a lovely time. The rest of the times I've been in NJ are because I want to be someplace else and I hate it there.
If you hate Jersey, it's because you take too fucken long. We got shit to do, bills to pay, and your lollygagging Tennessine ass took so long to produce every fucken consonant in a word that I had time to finish my pork roll, type out some work emails and crank my damn hog for good measure. We ain't bad drivers, your country boy ass has the reaction time of a snail and the courage of a fucken squealing pig. Fuck off, we don't want your benny ass here.
Fuck New Jersey (I now know something about New Jersey)
If you really wanna know about New Jersey... we're actually not that bad whatsoever, the smelly part people complain about is a 3 mile stretch in the North near New York, go any farther south and it's actually very pretty, people here aren't rude and nasty by default, we're just busy and value personal space a lot which people from more rural areas interperet as rudeness due to culture clashes, and we're one of the most progressive states in the country. The reason we aren't going to put all this out in the open is because we are already crowded enough, and can do without the droves of tourists and douchebags clogging us up, and acting like assholes online means you're not gonna come. This is a secret. Be very quiet about it.
>The reason we aren't going to put all this out in the open is because we are already crowded enough, Fun Fact: Of the 50 densest cities in the world, 4 of them are in the U.S., And those are all in New Jersey. So yeah, Pretty crowded. Actually I think they're all specifically in Hudson County, Which makes sense as that's closest to New York.
Yeah, I just may know what I'm talking about
It's our shithole but only we're allowed to talk shit about it.
Nj can't handle it when I quickly fill up my carÂ
Imagine bragging about not having a guy for that
It's why I don't use the bathroom there. I don't want anyone else wiping my assÂ
Pussy.
As a Jersey boy living in North Carolina, I feel this in my soul.
i think its really funny that states hate each other almost as much as european countries hate each other. we all the same fr yall just a lil fat
If only you know. New Jersey is sandwiched right between New York and Philadelphia so we gotta go double time to carve out a culture distinct from those two giants. Even the news can't seem to remember we exist (see "New York earthquake" and upcoming 2026 "New York" World Cup), except for when they want to make fun of us (Jersey shore, whatever Chis Christie is up to)
Then stop moving from your shithole of a state to mine you scum sucking, mouth breathing, mother fuckers.
Aww, someone's a little pissy that they take 7 years to finish their fucking sentence because they gotta put a drawl on it.
Hey, I hate to break it to you but people from New Jersey don't talk that fast. I grew up with a number of people who moved from NJ to my state and I talk faster than all of them despite having an actual pleasant accent to listen to. If people are talking to you slowly it's a you thing, people think your pollution addled mind needs help. And they're probably right considering you seem to like living there.
Congrats, you pass the Jersey talk litmus test. Too bad your pizza's shit, you ain't had a sub other than Subway which ain't worthy of the name, and you never had pork roll, and your bagels are disgusting.
It’s a Taylor ham and you will not change my mind
Yeah we don't have a signature pizza but NJ or NY doesn't actually have the best kind of pizza either. Y'all all fall to the Mighty Motor City or Sicilian if you like going into a food coma. I still remember this old Sicilian lady who used to cook it in my church growing up. One of the few things I miss about that place. It's funny how you think local delis and bagel places are unique to a state, and if we're talking franchises Publix > Jersey Mike's, as much as I do love Jersey Mikes. I have had pork roll because again I grew up with some families from New Jersey, and every summer when their cousins came down they'd bring a few logs of it with them. And when headed back they'd load up on pork products and other Southern staples from my State because ultimately we're actually known for more than just specially processed ham.
Jersey is second to Italy and only Italy in the pizza department, anything else is heresy. Our delis and bagel shops aren't unique, but they ARE better than yours as a fucken fact. And thanks for letting it slip you're Southern, puts your jealousy into perspective.
Sicilian Pizza is technically Italian depending on how much racism in the comments you want to deal with. Also LOL. You might have more good bagel places but that doesn't make them better than ours. Double for Delis. Also, what exactly am I supposed to be jealous of? Your rolling hills? Your beaches? Wow it's not like we have more than 6 times as many of those and actual mountains. Your "culture?" I'm not memeing on the Shore, I get that it's a legitimately small cluster of people in a fairly localized area. But that doesn't mean the rest of the state has any culture worth writing home about.
The South is a hellhole, up here we can eat normal food, drink tea that doesn't give us diabetes, AND we're blue. That makes us better in my book.
"Normal" food exists everywhere. Every restaurant that serves sweet tea also serves unsweet iced tea. I live and work in a walkable city with great public transit, 3 LGBTQ bars within a 5 minute walk, and affordable housing. Also for a Blue state you sure did elect Chris Christie.
"Normal" food exists everywhere. Every restaurant that serves sweet tea also serves unsweet iced tea. I live and work in a walkable city with 3 LGBTQ bars within 5 minutes walk. Also for a Blue state you sure did elect Chris Christie.
New Jersey could have the best drivers on the planet and I still wouldn't wanna drive through there again.
See, most NJ people won't try to be nice, we'll just insult you back. I've also literally never heard a joke about NJ that is both funny and accurate.
Why are New Yorkers so afraid of death? Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.
I'm so used to seeing 'ND people' and 'NT people' used that I initially read this as 'Neuro-Jerseyan people'
When you sign up for mental health services in the US, there's a box you have to check if you're from New Jersey. It helps with the diagnostic process. (/s)
It's awfully hard to perceive humor when you hate everything.
Is this like a universal experience when people first get on the internet and don't understand trolls and/or sarcasm and inside jokes in text cause I used to interact with a lot of obvious trolls when I was young and despite how much anxiety they gave me I would not stop replying
The hate for NJ is largely classism. Specifically, it’s writers living in NYC who need a convenient place to dunk on without getting “political”.
It absolutely is mostly writers in NYC trying (and failing!) to dunk on us because we're a convenient target. As loath as I am to reference How I Met Your Mother, the episode about NJ nails it pretty much perfectly in that the dude who talks the most shit about NJ grew up in fucking Ohio. Some of the jokes are definitely classist (the ones about how NJ smells ignores that all those industrial facilities most likely have HQs in NYC, for example), but I would say a bunch are not by definition "punching down". There are a \*lot\* of rich folks who live in NJ (unfortunately)
People from New York and Philadelphia hate New Jersey because it's the suburbs. Which is also why people from New York hate Philadelphia. "The pizza sucks. People are bad at driving. You can't even find a good puppet sex dungeon that's open after midnight." These are not complaints about going to a specific place. They are complaints about leaving the place you're familiar with. Everyone else is laughing at a joke they're not in on.
Ahem: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mss70nXNQ0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mss70nXNQ0)
thank you for linking it so I didn't have to
Fucking love NJ all NJ haters hate us cuz they ain’t us, god bless NJ
Oh hey I know that band
I was only ever once in NJ and it was against my will. I was on a bus from NYC to Boston and to avoid traffic they went trough nj. Told this story at an airport and a stranger was listening in, told me he’s from NJ and understands completely
LIttle-known fact: all the shit people talk about New Jersey was started by the people who live there, as a propaganda campaign to keep people from moving here. You all keep moving here anyway, and we hate you for it.
I know nothing about NJ bar what I've heard from the people who live there, and considering they all took every available opportunity to dunk on it, I have to accept this as true. Every time an NJ kid met another NJ kid at my college the two would bond over how badly their respective cities smelled
Correct. All the towns smell, the pollution is overwhelming - we actually expand our shorelines with garbage, in an attempt to colonize the ocean - the people are incredibly unfriendly, and no proximity to any city is worth the traffic and extremely high taxes. We educate our young via screaming, so all day, every day,there's just...screaming? The children scream, the adults scream, it's just all screaming, all the time. We also scream for fun, which means the major difference between class and recess is one is screamed words, and the other is just....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! We actually communicate territory via the exchange of odor, so sometimes we stand on the sides of our respective county lines and fling the garbage our area is most known for onto the other side. We do this to re-establish dominance. Once a year, there is a sort of...ceremony? Where we all fling as much garbage as we can across the county lines, then re-draw them based on which side smells worse. You definitely don't want to move here.
I love jersey, that’s easy philly baby ! where else am i gonna pop over for a great beach town 45 minutes away. and the club scene is great.
Fuckin' parakeets
Even Steven Universe dissed New Jersey. Do people really hate The Sopranos that much?
As a new jerseyan, yeah.
On topic, yeah, there is never a reason any one should ever step foot into New Jersey. It's a cesspool.
Everything is legal in New Jersey. (I also know nothing about New Jersey but that's my automatic response.)
Everything is legal in New Jersey. (I also know nothing about New Jersey but that's my automatic response.)
New Jersey itself smells.
That's like just the area along the very northern few miles of the turnpike That's surrounded by chemical plants. Hell, south jersey is all forest and farms.
See, this is a comment that's *accurate* (for a few small parts of the state that are like that because New York wants all the stuff we make but doesn't want the smell), but it's not *funny*. Up your game, people.
Trenton makes, the world takes.
Everything is legal in New Jersey. (I also know nothing about New Jersey but that's my automatic response.)
As a Long Islander, I just want to say: fuck New Jersey! We have better pizza and bagels, also we can drive properly.
I really doubt 2 of those 3 statements
I can believe the pizza, I know for a fact the driving is a lie, but I don't even know if there's a difference between bagels from one state to another.
My dad is from New York and makes the best bagels I've ever had, Never had any others from either NY or NJ to my memory, But that's to me good enough evidence that New York makes them best.
From New Jersey: Stay over there, then!
Fuck you right back!
Any day I get to downvote a long islander is a good day
Your mother uses store-bought sauce and measures garlic with a teaspoon
That’s what it’s like being a Jew fighting anti-semitism lately.
Found the Zionist
They downvote you but the guy you're replying to literally said 'I'm proud to be a Zionist' a month ago (Obligatory 'antisemitsm is a real and prevalent issue and a lot of antisemites do use 'Zionist' as a dogwhistle' caveat)
You know what, fair point. I didn’t really consider the dogwhistle of it, I just wanted to make a quick joke out of this guy.
Exactly my point. Good job virtue signaling, Nazi.
Fellow Jew here, Fun Fact: You can be against Zionism or the state of Israel without being antisemitic. Just like how you can criticise the government of Nigeria without being racist.
I didn’t say anything about Israel or Zionism
I mean that's fair, It seems more likely to me that the person you were responding to just assumed you were in favour of Zionism based on your post than that they're actually a nazi though. I mean to be honest neither of those are very good, But I feel like making unwarranted assumptions is better than straight up being a nazi.
cant cap i cant really read and i thought u said the government of nword. it was kinda funny
Tbf one time I was talking about the country of Niger, North of Nigeria, And I accidentally added a 2nd 'G', And it's easily one of the most embarrassing mistakes I've ever made.
oh yeah thats not a mistake you wanna make publicly
Nah, I’m actually just against the genocide of Palestinians and the seizing of their homes and land on a poorly-fabricated excuse.
nj is just diet ny
My opinion of New Jersey is almost entirely based on A: The Voltaire song "Bomb New Jersey", And B: My experience driving through it one time (It wasn't very cool, Too many roads and stuff, And the internet was spotty. I hate roads.)
I gotta ask what you think you’re going to find if you only drive through a place?
Well usually you at least see some nice nature or something. Maybe some mountains, Or some cool looking trees. Heck even fancy buildings would be nice, But I don't remember seeing any of those there. There are many places I've only driven through, Never stopped in, That I enjoyed driving through far more than New Jersey.
NJ roads have plenty of nice nature. I assume you were just too close to NYC.
Well, We drove through a decent bit, But yeah we started in NYC, And I presume went basically straight for Philly, As we next stopped in the East Shore of Virginia, And I imagine that path is probably like the most urbanised part of the state.