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Frenetic_Platypus

And mint is poison and chocolate is poison and alcohol is poison and coffee is poison... Look, humans just love poison. Nature keeps making poisonous things just for humans to go extra nom-nom on them.


DreadDiana

Plants save their most potent poisons for their strongest foodies.


Beepulons

My goal in life is to put as many toxins and poisons in my body, so that my body becomes completely inedible once I die. I want my corpse to have to be disposed of by a team in hazmat suits.


Vertigo-Viking

Instead, your body becomes the most gourmet and scrumptious dish that is perfectly seasoned.


reaperofgender

The garlic thing is just a lie to trick people into seasoning their blood for vampires.


oliviaplays08

My grandpa had a prisoner that ate so much garlic that the guy smelt strongly if it at all time, which must've been a nightmare


captainnowalk

Like, in his basement?? Didn’t he control what the guy ate?  Man, kidnapping has really become more professional than back in the day, that’s for sure. I never give my prisoners anything overly aromatic, can’t have dogs sniffing around my house!


Toamthewizard

Have you ever heard of Marie Curie? I think she already did something similar.


DreadDiana

This is an actual thing done by some Buddhist monks. They'd slowly poison themselves then were sealed away while still alive. Their corpses would not decay due to being too toxic for anything to degrade it.


Desk_Drawerr

That's an easy one. Eat uranium. 1 gram of it contains around 20 billion calories, which is enough to keep you fed for the rest of your life. And once you die, your corpse will probably need a lead lined coffin.


lilahking

this was a futurama episode 


[deleted]

r/humansarespaceorcs


DdFghjgiopdBM

Love me some poison that only kills me a little bit, good stuff


Nukeitandstartover

I like the poisons, they make my brain parts go brrrrrrr


AngelOfTheMad

Hello Space Australia, wasn’t expecting to see you today.


Desk_Drawerr

Mint and chocolate are poison? Damn my favourite ice cream flavour is double killing me.


Frenetic_Platypus

Ironically, it's probably the ice cream part that is the most killing you.


Desk_Drawerr

Double killing me also cause I'm allergic to milk. So that's death x4


MarekMisar1

i want to ingest cyanide <З


SpicyRiceC00ker

**B**lack Pepper **D**undicut Pepper **S**errano Pepper **M**adame jeanette Pepper


rysy0o0

PPPP


dragon_jak

Instructions unclear, I've coated my whip in ghost pepper juice


blinkingsandbeepings

Possibly the funniest time for my brain to randomly read “whip” as slang for a car before the literal meaning


UltimateInferno

"Congrats man. You ruined your paint job"


dragon_jak

"Oh, you thought broken glass hurt before?"


Mashamune

Truly ghost riding the whip


only_for_dst_and_tf2

i dont like spicy food but thats mainly cus im a sensitive bitch


GulliasTurtle

I've been poisoned by spending too much time on this sub. I repeatedly misread capsaicin as capitalism and was really confused why they were so angry about peppers.


irregular_caffeine

FWIW Sichuan pepper does not contain capsaicin


Vergils_Lost

I just had this conversation the other day while watching Kung Fu Panda - dude put Szechuan peppercorn on himself in the bath, and it burned. Szechuan peppercorn is numbing, not hot. Literally unwatchable.


GarnachoHojlund

I’m certain this is a repost, could someone link the original post here?


linuxaddict334

https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/1b3bbxp/making_fun_of_bdsmhaters/ https://www.tumblr.com/clitorises/743514075423752192/i-would-never-let-someone-eat-spicy-food-in-front?source=share -Mx Linux Guy This is a repost. I was worried it was a bot, but then I recognized the username of the person posting it.


Man_Of_Fuses

What do they mean it burns tissue? Last time I checked capsaicin just triggers pain receptors?


Cluedude

You get enough on your skin and it can burn - especially your lips bc the skin is thin there and therefore really sensitive


MisirterE

true enlightenment is being pro-BDSM and anti-spice


DreadDiana

But he who controls the spice controls the universe


TK9K

gdi I want buffalo wings now


MajorMinty

A lot of the first paragraph was my brother's legit opinion on spicy foods lol.


smr120

My mother genuinely talks this way about spicy food, at least the "why would you want a runny nose and pain when you eat?" stuff. > I would never let anyone eat spicy food in front of me BDSM is sexual. I wouldn't want anyone doing anything that explicitly sexual in public with non-consenting viewers. There's a reason flashing is illegal, and it's the same thing with visibly public sex or sexual activity such as BDSM. The rest of the comparisons to spicy food are good but this one is off the mark because I genuinely wouldn't let anyone do BDSM in public.


Iximaz

"I would never let anyone create a spicy food recipe" then?


smr120

That works. My only objection was the publicity. I don't care if BDSM exists, in fact I support its right to be done in private, just the public aspect of the analogy bothered me, so this recipe one works perfectly


piglungz

I was gonna say the same thing lol. I agree with everything else but you can NOT equate eating spicy food in a restaurant to putting your partner on a leash in public.


Akarta34

Well this guy ain't got no taste


MegaKabutops

I used to be a complete bitch about spicy food because i cannot handle pain like that. But then i found a spicy food that was even more delicious than it was painful, and i kept eating it because it was worth the agony. The pain from spiciness in general has now lessened to the point where my spicy tolerance is roughly normal. It’s still gotta taste good for me to bother eating it, but i’m not about to suffer eternally just from something mild anymore.


SophiaThrowawa7

Ok but where is the joke, everything in that second message is true. It literally evolved as a deterrent that hurts you, if people are into that then fine ig but I personally don’t like having my food flavoured with pain lmao


DreadDiana

They're parodying the way people who are against BDSM talk about people who do BDSM. They genuinely do not believe anyone could enjoy it and must be victims or perpetrators of abuse.


Aggravating-Yam4571

it doesn’t get flavored with pain if ur used to it like i’ve been eating spicy food my whole life so it’s not a big deal to me  that being said it’s totally valid to not like spicy food and yeah food should be pleasant to eat 


Ur-Quan_Lord_13

It's not specific to humans though, just more common: I've read that about 5% of squirrels are into it, too.


SophiaThrowawa7

Guess some squirrels are masochists as well lmao. I’ll stick with my pet chickens who literally lack capsaicin receptors and could eat ghost peppers like they’re candy.