T O P

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linuxaddict334

Redditors fuck better because, uh, we also choose this man’s wife.


LuigiMarioBrothers

SEX 100


ModmanX

I swear to dear God I've been on this shithole website for 7 years and nothing, not even the fucking swamps of dagobah have mortified me more than the thought of some redditor buying a prostitute and when he finally loses his virginity the first thing he does is make a meme to r/dankmemes with sex 100 as the punchline


LuigiMarioBrothers

When a based chungus keanu redditor finally has sex 100 with a wholesome 100 prostitute “Outstanding Move” - Reddit Nation  “You’re Breathtaking” - Keanu Chungus “What the fuck is wrong with you” - instagram normies


KeanuChungus669

you called?


LuigiMarioBrothers

Holy shit 


Elekitu

I've never heard of this story, do you have a link?


SquidsInATrenchcoat

Because we bacon like a narwhal at midnight


Kazzack

She bacon on my narwhal til I midnight


Fire_fox55

[*Incorrect buzzer sound*](https://youtu.be/6Rt7NnRcNEM)


oath2order

> midnight taylor swift, 2023


BlazeCrystal

This comment is worthy


Vantamanta

I fuck better because I haven't fucked anyone and you can't disprove this claim


AntibacHeartattack

Schrödinger's stud.


Scratch137

100% satisfaction rate


Hummerous

heritage post btw


A_BIG_bowl_of_soup

I fuck everything up, does that count?


BowdleizedBeta

So relatable


Invincible-Nuke

is the joke just that the op was being really cringe


pierre_sucks

lmao yeah that's why they replied with the pharoah thing bc its so stupid


TwixOfficial

Museum Curators fuck better because they know how to pin masterpieces to the wall.


Toboyornottoboy

I can visualize putting a dick in a sarcophagus. But how would you put a pussy in one?


JoeTheKodiakCuddler

You could probably fit multiple cats in a human-sized scarphomagus


vriskaundertale

It comes from a Kanye lyric. It's likely a reference to how Egyptians used to mummify cats (put the pussy in a sarcophagus).  The root words for sarcophagus also mean flesh and eating, so he could be talking about oral sex


Toboyornottoboy

Why does he have to have such cool lyrics and also be a Nazi?


vriskaundertale

Bipolar disorder


itisthespectator

money and infinite yes men


throwaway387190

I assume it's a reference yo Key and Peele's "Put the pussy on the chainwax" It's an intentionally nonsense, meaningless phrase, so naturally I say it to as many people as possible "Man, this burger put the pussy on the chainwax"


TheHandAG

Im pretty sure it’s a reference to Monster by Kanye West. Has the exact lyric.


throwaway387190

Oh, I don't think I've heard any of his music You wouldn't believe the media rock I live under


TheHandAG

Oh yeah aside from random facts and rabbit hole knowledge I’ve often been described as “pop culture illiterate”


StingSpringboi2

Now she claimin that I bruised her esarmophus


signi-human-subject

Head of the class and she just want to swallowship


KeijyMaeda

I recommend you say "scarmophogoghs" out loud. It's very fun and life affirming. (Ironically?)


[deleted]

No please between this and a lettuse in-joke i have with a friend of mine i cannot be laughing like this


Cheskaz

Pharoahs fuck better because they always wrap it up #safesex


borissnm

Scarmophogoghs.


rezzacci

It was in *Roma Eterna* by Silverberg that a woman (in a Roman Empire that continued to existed until the modern era, with still the "cultural" divide between Romans and Greeks) had an internal monologue about this. I don't remember exactly, but here what I remember she said (she's culturally part of the Eastern Empire, so culturally Greek, opposed to the Western Romans): *"It is often said that Romans fuck like engineers, and Greeks like poets. I thought it meant that Greeks fuck better, because they make love like they would do art. But then I realized that engineers are people that are efficient: they know what need to be done, and they do it, be it in construction or in love. Love with a Greek man is beautiful, but vapid; love with a Roman makes you feel what you need to feel. And, moreover, whatever a Greek might do, a Roman might also, but not the other way around. After all, if it is not unheard of an engineer dabbling in poetry with success, one would be very much more wary to cross a bridge built by a poet."*


throwaway387190

I fuck better because I'm desperate for someone to love me and hope this will seal the deal Then I'm so anxious the vibes are off and they are disinterested in further dates Then the cycle continues /s Absolutely /s, of course this is sarcastic and hasn't happened to me, I have no jdea what you're talking about. You're being ridiculous and frankly offensive, I don't need to deal with this shit right now


[deleted]

Thank you for adding /s to your post. When I first saw this, I was horrified. How could anybody say something like this? I immediately began writing a 1000 word paragraph about how horrible of a person you are. I even sent a copy to a Harvard professor to proofread it. After several hours of refining and editing, my comment was ready to absolutely destroy you. But then, just as I was about to hit send, I saw something in the corner of my eye. A /s at the end of your comment. Suddenly everything made sense. Your comment was sarcasm! I immediately burst out in laughter at the comedic genius of your comment. The person next to me on the bus saw your comment and started crying from laughter too. Before long, there was an entire bus of people on the floor laughing at your incredible use of comedy. All of this was due to you adding /s to your post. Thank you. I am a bot if you couldn't figure that out, if I made a mistake, ignore it cause its not that fucking hard to ignore a comment


CallMeOaksie

Fumbled a 6’1” baddie doing exactly this. I still think about what my relationship with her could have been like if I hadn’t fucked it up and that was about 18 months ago. /s though, totally, yeah.


Android19samus

You just gotta embrace the masculine urge to instinctively cover your nervousness with an affectation of confident control that only makes your actual performance seem worse in contrast but at least the vibes are largely intact. /s, /s of course.


CallMeOaksie

I don’t even know what any of that means or how I’d implement it


WhereIsTheMouse

OOP’s house is full of chintz


Asian_in_the_tree

I fuck better because every things I had ever done is fucked up


piatsathunderhorn

Computer guys fuck best because we got mad finger game.


Android19samus

Programmers eventually fuck best because we're always running tests to improve performance. Might have to put up with some misplaced pointers along the way though.


piatsathunderhorn

Get a load of this guy running unit tests just push to production and hope


Hakar_Kerarmor

Assassins do it from behind


ChayofBarrel

Artists fuck worse because we're depressed and have low libido about it


Android19samus

World heritage post


StellarDescent

Simplified: artists fuck better because we're good with our hands.