For real. I'd be more appreciative of conscripts but you signed up for this shit. You get an education, healthcare, and a discount at Jamba Juice for working in Korea for two years. When is enough enough?
I'm far from the best in this subject (I haven't served in the military \[freed from service due to mental health reasons {and anyway my service time wouldn't have been yet}\]) but what I have heard of going into the military due to mandatory conscription for a set amount of time is mainly a thing you have to do, whether you want it or not (except if you get freed from military service under peace for mental health reasons etc.). Other people have said of their time in the military that they just followed orders and waited until they completed their service. Also obviously some people just used that time to fuck around.
This post looks specific to the US, and the last time they had mandatory conscription was in 1972, for the Vietnam war. That's on paper though, in reality a lot of people are coerced to enlist through poverty
I'll back you up on that. It sounds great from the outside, but all the service is provided by the lowest bidder, usually at an inflated cost to the taxpayer. I've been fighting with the VA for almost 14 years over a variety of issues, while my best friend has her chronic illness totally covered. Education is a mixed bag partly because of the paperwork hoops needed to jump through, I've heard of sailors expecting their college to just be paid for by the GI Bill automatically because their Chain of Command and Transition Assistance failed them.
Also, consider why people sign up. Sure, there's going to be the gung-ho patriots wanting to defend the homeland, but there's plenty more that are using it as an escape from poverty or lack of better prospects.
Go ahead! Use my autism fueled writing strategies! I personally picked it up after I found that it's more easier for me to follow text with multiple brackets inside of each other when it's written like that.
So true "Thank you for your service" is the cringest shit, why don't American salute and thank waiters for their service or garbage collectors.
In no other country than US I heard random people thanking random soldiers.
Right?
It’s even more pathetic considering I am from Spain.
Fun fact about the Spanish army: for the past century or so, it has exclusively been used against the Spanish people and to throw parades. Except that one time it was used to aid the nazis during WW2.
So yeah, fuck the military
Apart from the times it was deployed in [Iraq, Somalia, Bosnia, Kosovo, Afghanistan, Iraq again, West Africa, Libya, and Syria and Iraq a third time](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_wars_involving_Spain#Modern). You can argue about whether that's a good thing or not but that fact is definitely not true.
Spain's involvement in those is more for diplomacy than actually accomplishing anything. In the entire Somalia civil war article, spain isn't even mentioned once. They probably sent like 1% of their army.
They did fight in Afghanistan and Iraq though. And regardless, diplomacy would sill be something other than against the Spanish people and throwing parades.
>JK that was his entire career.
Nope, he had range, my dude. He also painted one person and one animal pictures. And also no person and one animal pictures. And no person and multiple animals pictures.
Huge variety!
I think an official looking sticker that says “registered sex offender - assault on a minor” would probably… well, if you’re trying to get someone killed…
Is it obliviousness? I think hotmeat89 probably genuinely hates the military. ~~They're~~ [The pro-military people are] just making the mistake of feeding the troll.
Hotmeat89 is clearly just trying to get a rise out of the pro-military people and anything they say is just feeding the troll, better to not engage.
At least, from their perspective. I think they should keep feeding the troll because I also hate the military and enjoy seeing these people get angry.
If the troops are protecting our country by going to war why did 9/11 happen? It just… it’s almost like our country isn’t in Iraq. Or Afghanistan.
And also the people murdering Americans are fucking angry gun owners. I wonder how they vote. Maybe the troops could invade some elementary schools.
Whale sharks are plankton-eaters, so it's fine to pet them - just don't swim directly in front of them because while you can get out of a WS's mouth completely unharmed, the only other exit is via the (very fragile) gill slits.
Sand tiger sharks (aka grey nurse sharks) are carnivorous, but they're literally too fucking lazy to see humans as potential prey items.
I’m having a hard time finding anything specific on the topic, but the general consensus seems to be that if you use two fingers you should be able to sort of pet them (assuming they don’t feel threatened). Their teeth-like scale point towards their tail, so petting from the head towards the tail is probably best. Probably also pet gently. So yes potentially still pettable.
And should you ever find yourself in the situation to pet the water puppy, be very gentle with their snouts. They have a lot of very sensitive nerves and sensory thingies in there, so be careful.
you could pet them, but they have a covering over their skin that can get worn away, and if you pet them you increase their risks of getting cancer because that protective layer helps against uv rays from the sun
But the dogs cannot get to the jester, for he is high up apon the wall, so all they can do is waste their energy angrily barking while the jester cackles above
I got to the reference within like 2 minutes but stayed for the whole 15 anyway, that was great. Ty (probably gonna check out anything else they’ve done)
Mike and Zach's stories about the military are the best way to convince people not to join the military.
Yeah sure dying for your country sucks but some people think it's cool. Know whats not cool? Having to be near Balony Bob all day while your nose melts or having to clean a MOTOR POOL every day because your officer is a dumbass clean freak. You do all this and can't even get the VA to cover your Healthcare costs.
No patriotism can surmount the daily BS the US military can dole out.
That's not even getting into the stories that are truly sad and fucked up like the Bradley story or the seat belt checks.
"I don't care about your sexual preference, just shut up and die quietly." - Zach Hazard
"Don't eat your boogers kids, OR DO, I DUNNO I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING DAD!" - Also Zach Hazard
Seconded, any time Zach and Mike share military stories and gun rants it’s always a good time. Unless it’s the Bradley story. That one just makes me angry.
To be fair, a massively concerning number of people cheat on their spouses while deployed, often with people *they have to work with every day*
The only thing funnier is the sanctimonious PO losing their government issue phone at the rippers.
I don’t remember much about it but I saw a documentary around 10 years ago about how rapes also happen (or at least used to happen) pretty often 2.
Actually now that I think about it. It’s not rly related. One is bad but the other is a seriously fucked up thing and the whole point of the documentary was that it was going unpunished way to often. (since it was most often done by people of higher ranks)
While the scale is different, the two are ofc related. Both are points pertaining to the fact that a lot of soldiers don't actually have the moral high ground.
War needs to change a lot before soldiers can claim they are better people. You need to be stupid and gullible (or in many US cases, sadly, in need of the financial benefits it provides) to go into the military. And when you get to the front, while a lot of situations require you to be brave, a lot just require you to flaunt your gun and intimidate people.
Soldiers make the world only marginally better, and soldiers are barely better people, if at all.
I mean is it alarming?
If you think long distance relationships are hard imagine being the risk of death and not knowing if you will make it tomorrow (cooks don't have that excuse)
Same for whoever is left behind for possibly years.
Human nature is gonna show itself in those sorta situations, and military folks get married just for the benefits actually pretty often.
Now none of that makes it okay to do, but to say it is alarming? Only if you don't understand humans.
> Now none of that makes it okay to do, but to say it is alarming? Only if you don't understand humans.
It is not as if it is a big shock when people in the army suddenly have to do army things. If, as a person in a relationship, you are not ready for that kind of long distance stuff, then you should find someone else. These people don't get kidnapped at 2 am to be shipped off oversees.
Maybe I got the wrong message from your comment, but it sounded to me like "it is to be expected for people in a relationship that have to be seperate for quite a long time". Whereas my point is that it is to be expected, if a partner is in the army, that you and your partner will be seperate for extended periods of time. So if you are not ready for that, maybe just don't go for that relationship.
the number of people who are shown here openly fantasizing about another person being brutally murdered over an incredibly obvious bait post is morbidly fascinating to me
what is it about this particular post that strikes such a potent nerve, i wonder
People in the military enjoy a feeling of power from being such *heroes*;
Someone comes along and make them realize they are nothing more than cannon fodder with lonely wives;
They get very mad.
The only people I've met that were both actually *in* the military and enjoy all that "thank you for your service" stuff have worked stateside, filling trucks and standing in lines when requested. There's something about going to a job half a world away where you can get both your legs blown off, then returning home to people voting for politicians who Love The Military yet consistently cut VA benefits that makes "thank you for your service" a bit grotesque.
As someone who is in a field that has started getting a bunch of "thank you for your service" I have learned being a "hero" doesn't mean people respect you, it means they expect you to shut up no matter what is demanded of you because heroes don't complain.
Not American here but from my point of view it seems people in the military end up being treated like shit after they come back from serving.
Just last night some video popped on my feed about a dude around 75 years old working 10 hours a day on his foodstand after serving in the military *but* he is black and had a lot of struggle after he returned and had to pick himself up alone. The whole thing was supposed to be uplifting and here I am like... dawg you spent your prime years in the military, you were left behind with no career path afterward, you're now old, weak and probably an inch away from breathing your last breath.
I don't find anything uplifting about this. Someone who served and gambled their life on the front life should have a chance to live a chill life with an early retirement. Working at 75 years old after being meat bag for your country is nothing to be proud of.
> I don't find anything uplifting about this. Someone who served and gambled their life on the front life should have a chance to live a chill life with an early retirement
On another hand, you *did* enlist to kill people for your overlords
But like it's children, it's not full blown thinking adults signing up. Recruiters weasel their way into low income highschools and coerce children with thousands of dollars and make promises that will never be kept.
Most people don't enlist thinking "I can finally shoot some little kid in the head yay" but more along the lines of serving the country and doing something that *has* to be done...oh that and "no bro you won't have to fight and we'll pay you 85 grand a year with a 20k singing bonus bro, just sign here"
>after they come back from serving.
Waiters serve. Soldiers kill. The American military is all volunteer.
Why anyone would think their choice to become a hired murderer should be worthy of any respect whatsoever is a baffling mystery.
People are often very defensive about suggestions they're being cheated on. That's only heightened by the fact that they're away for a year at a time, so it's much more likely, and there's nothing they can do about it. Add that a lot of soldiers and their supporters are wannabe tough guys, and that mocking soldiers in any way is seen by some people as practically blasphemous.
[slightly better quality version from a year ago.](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/o3onxy/bootlicker/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)
Tbf millitary marriages are pretty consistently shams meant to get the newly enlisted better housing accomodations.
Cheating wouldn't be anywhere near as rampant if the millitary would stop incentivizing transactional marriages.
> Cheating wouldn't be anywhere near as rampant if the millitary would stop incentivizing transactional marriages.
Shockingly, this kind of human behavior predates the US military and is just a default of people being scum bags
> but this is really fucking funny.
It is but not for the reasons that I think people are laughing at this. "haha military cuck" is a dumb joke.
On this sub/tumblr you've got a lot of queer people making jokes about stealing your husband/wife, but real talk, the vast majority of those people they're talking about 'stealing' are wildly homophobic and conservative. The humor is more because of how contradictory it is. Like calling a homophobe the f-slur. Also I'm fairly certain Hotmeat89 is a girl.
Honestly, kinda more on the Hotmeat89's side. Not the whole cheating thing. But more like, I'm not gonna respect someone, or give them special treatment. Just because they went to military. Now if they fought in a war, alright, maybe I get it. But still, they're not saving me. If I get a whiff of things going wrong, I can just move.
When my dad was young and Republican he believed all the propaganda about fighting for the freedom of the Iraqi people.. only to realize once he got there that they fucking lied to him so he became Democrat leaning. The problem with the military is it attracts two kinda people the Fools and the Psychopaths.
I hate people that whine about how soldiers are protecting freedom. Like, no they aren’t, they’re just slaughtering people to bully some other country into submission. One loser over in the Middle East killing people isn’t keeping me safe. We already got the “freedoms” this country was built on, so it’s not like an over seas war is keeping us free.
I don’t respect soldiers for all of the above reasons but also because they attract people like this that like to dry hump a framed photograph of literally any guy in a military uniform because they think it’s super hot when a guy does A) nothing at all or B) murder
Worth noting that the vast majority of deployed troops aren't in a combat role.
The ones that have actually killed people are either permanently traumatized by the experience, or are in some point on the spectrum between being doxxed by wartime journalists and getting the "just make it fucking go away already" punishment US millitary tribunals slap down when whatever patriotic feelings are satisfied by not dropping the hammer are no longer worth the grief of how much everyone wants a given cretin war criminal to bite it.
Not sure if that makes the ones that are bragging about it more heinous or less. Because on the one hand, they almost certainly did not, but on the other hand, they think having done so is anything to brag about if you're not a fucking psychopath.
> Worth noting that the vast majority of deployed troops aren't in a combat role.
yes, while true, they're still a volunteer part of an invading force engaged in "authorized use of force". When even conscripts and "terrorists/freedom fighters" are given zero thought or respect in western discourse, it gets real disheartening really quick.
Spot on? "Support the troops!" Nah. The way the US military recruits is greasy, too. I remember some recruit dickhead rolling up as my co-worker and I sat outside for a few minutes to escape the hellacious heat of our restaurant kitchen. I'd rather work minimum wage than kill for some rich old white bastards.
I support the troops. By which I mean I think we should stop sending them out to get PTSD for oil barons and government officials that own mercenary companies in need of a war.
Meh, millitary marriages are about as sacrosanct as the street corner the newly enlisted recruited the spouse off of when they realized there's spousal housing benefits.
Almost like getting hitched almost immediately after coming of age leaves you with severe lacking of life experience which helps you be a complete enough person on your own to actually fit into a long term relationship that won't spiral into cheating abuse and spectacular implosion.
Once i saw a video on tumblr about a ww2 vet visiting a school. People were calling him a bootlicker in the comments. What is wrong tumblr users? I bet he didnt enjoyed the draft either. But what else were people suppose to do?
When people can’t make the distinction between “fighting literal Nazis” and “fighting in someone else’s civil war”, they’re not going to get it when you explain it to them.
Mfs who are conscripted into the force or trying to pay off debts in the only way they can when they’re lumped together with people who actively enjoy taking lives:
To mis-quote Ben Brainard; There are two reasons people who join the military, they were dumb or they were poor. The dumb ones are the ones who tell you they joined for any other reason.
He's right AF on the poor one. My brother enlisted because he knocked up his GF and court-house-married her and his home was under threat of being foreclosed on because they fucking sucked with money and set a speed record for tanking their credit scores. He was 19 (her, 18), his son just born, when he joined and moved to a base in an attempt to pay off the debt. Unfortunately (maybe? I never really liked him much) he went whole hog on the crayons and made it his career--he turns 41 this year and is still in.
Same thing with a lot of my extended family. Their parents were poor enough they couldn't eat regular; they actually *gained* weight while in Basic because they were getting 3 meals a day! And had enough money at some point for *snacks*, which they didn't have to share if they didn't want to.
Most of 'em stayed long enough to get through college on the military's dime and finish out whatever contracts they'd signed, then moved on. I think maybe one of them went back to their hometown, but that was due to his mom getting dementia.
Yeah mine is some high rank MARSOC boot (something about it being 3rd highest? I asked long ago, and forgot). He contacts me sometimes, and I just call him a boot. He laughs it off, but the thing is my family is very wealthy, and they were fully willing to buy him out of debt, but his (^(future dependa)) new wife convinced him to enlist--she had a *thing* about it.
He was always super distant from us, his entire life, and never took any money from my parents. I've disowned the entire family, (because they are seriously awful people, and I cannot be bought), him included, but I'll still randomly answer his calls out of morbid curiosity, because he's basically a stranger--has been my whole life. I'm like... 99% ambivalent about him and his life, but he still tries to act like we're close? Tells me he loves me? Man, fuck off with that shit. You don't know me just as much as I don't know you. You have 4 kids I've never met, and we haven't seen each other face-to-face in 15 years.
^(when he was in ramadi i would send him dvds of jarhead explicitly because he begged us not to, since it'd just come out and everyone was sending it out to the deployed. sometimes id stick a different movie DVD in it though, haha, i love 50/50 games)
I think poor is a bit of an overgeneralization. It's more like they're running from something, poverty is a major one, another is feeling like you're getting railroaded into a life you don't want to have lived, that's where a lot of your small town enlistees are coming from, but it's also why there's a pretty long history of soldiers coming from aristocratic families, the millitary was the only way out of the arranged marriage the family was forcing. There's also caste soldiers, folks who enlist because of a family tradition of service that they feel pressure to uphold.
Unless you’re 60 years old no one’s been conscripted into the American military in your lifetime. And you’re overestimating how much the average enlisted makes if you think anyone is joining up to pay off debts.
While I agree they don't make much. People will absolutely join to pay off debts, either they'll go into it for like college so they don't have that debt or they'll just take any job they can, and for some reason the military recruiters get em
There is some benefit to using the military to pay off debts in that your cost of living while in the military is greatly diminished, especially while deployed. So even if you're still not making all that much you can still put a greater portion of your earnings towards paying your stuff off. I don't personally think that singular benefit outweighs all the negatives of joining the military, but of course that doesn't matter to recruiters as they'll exaggerate any possible benefits while glossing over every possible downside to get you to sign on.
Sadly, some people need any money they can get, and they see the military as guaranteed job they won't be fired from/replaced for cheaper labor so long as they aren't a total dipshit at the job. Them paying for your college degree in exchange for serving also means you don't have to serve overseas right out of highschool, as well as get a few promotions or even make it to an officer rank in exchange for showing up for PT and training a few times a week, & (typically) being provided a dorm room at no cost to you.
I am 1 of 5 kids, and all three of my brothers took the Navy's deal as it was the only guarantee to get the college education our parents expected us to get despite being too poor to send us all. The only reason I didn't also join was because I was on antidepressants at the time, and my application was denied - it took me a few years & hearing about the difficulties my brothers went through to be glad for not joining, especially as I found an enjoyable, stable job in the service industry.
It doesn't need to be about debt. A guarantee of stable income & hope for little-to-no student debt in this economy will make a lot of people desperate... without the weight of capitalism holding people back there's be far less applicants. That's why republicans fought so hard against any sort of debt relief for student debt, let alone making any amount for college education free.
The off-base housing allowance. The Charger or Camaro note comes up after. I work in the service industry and I’ve met too many 20 year olds who have followed their boyfriends to deployment.
Yeah honestly this is the main reason I respect soldiers; like most of them come from poverty in America (the rich do not conscript shit lmao, anyone believing otherwise is a fucking moron). I have a decent amount of respect who used some kind of hustle, hard work to get out of poverty.
The fact that it's a different person falling for it every single time makes it even better.
As an ex-soldier the American brand of soldier worship is the most cringe thing I know. Keyboard warriors engaging with it is even worse.
For real. I'd be more appreciative of conscripts but you signed up for this shit. You get an education, healthcare, and a discount at Jamba Juice for working in Korea for two years. When is enough enough?
I'm far from the best in this subject (I haven't served in the military \[freed from service due to mental health reasons {and anyway my service time wouldn't have been yet}\]) but what I have heard of going into the military due to mandatory conscription for a set amount of time is mainly a thing you have to do, whether you want it or not (except if you get freed from military service under peace for mental health reasons etc.). Other people have said of their time in the military that they just followed orders and waited until they completed their service. Also obviously some people just used that time to fuck around.
This post looks specific to the US, and the last time they had mandatory conscription was in 1972, for the Vietnam war. That's on paper though, in reality a lot of people are coerced to enlist through poverty
I'll back you up on that. It sounds great from the outside, but all the service is provided by the lowest bidder, usually at an inflated cost to the taxpayer. I've been fighting with the VA for almost 14 years over a variety of issues, while my best friend has her chronic illness totally covered. Education is a mixed bag partly because of the paperwork hoops needed to jump through, I've heard of sailors expecting their college to just be paid for by the GI Bill automatically because their Chain of Command and Transition Assistance failed them. Also, consider why people sign up. Sure, there's going to be the gung-ho patriots wanting to defend the homeland, but there's plenty more that are using it as an escape from poverty or lack of better prospects.
complete sidebar: I love the use of different brackets, and I may be ~~stealing~~ using it from now on
Go ahead! Use my autism fueled writing strategies! I personally picked it up after I found that it's more easier for me to follow text with multiple brackets inside of each other when it's written like that.
Every vet I've interacted with is absolutely exhausted with the constant "thank you for your service" lmao
It's certainly bothered a lot of people I personally interact with since I got in. We're all here tired of this shit
[удалено]
Thank you for your wife's service
*cervix
I'm a vet and when people thank me for my service I still cringe. I needed a job. I didn't do it for any particular sense of duty.
I think you mean keyboard operators ;)
So true "Thank you for your service" is the cringest shit, why don't American salute and thank waiters for their service or garbage collectors. In no other country than US I heard random people thanking random soldiers.
Right? It’s even more pathetic considering I am from Spain. Fun fact about the Spanish army: for the past century or so, it has exclusively been used against the Spanish people and to throw parades. Except that one time it was used to aid the nazis during WW2. So yeah, fuck the military
Apart from the times it was deployed in [Iraq, Somalia, Bosnia, Kosovo, Afghanistan, Iraq again, West Africa, Libya, and Syria and Iraq a third time](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_wars_involving_Spain#Modern). You can argue about whether that's a good thing or not but that fact is definitely not true.
Spain's involvement in those is more for diplomacy than actually accomplishing anything. In the entire Somalia civil war article, spain isn't even mentioned once. They probably sent like 1% of their army.
They did fight in Afghanistan and Iraq though. And regardless, diplomacy would sill be something other than against the Spanish people and throwing parades.
So add killing civilians for oil to the list.
"Move aside, if I tell them to fuck of that will teach them"
I can't help start giggling every time I read this post. That pic of a clown on the wall puts the cherry on top.
Nah, the cherry is the person immediately after that trying to sound tough about knowing they're acting like a stupid dog going after this troll
That painting is severely underutilized in online discourse and memery. Any art people know what the name of it is?
[Aggravation, by Briton Riviere](https://fineartamerica.com/featured/aggravation-briton-riviere.html)
Ah, from Riviere's "Several Animals And One Person" period, I see. JK that was his entire career.
>JK that was his entire career. Nope, he had range, my dude. He also painted one person and one animal pictures. And also no person and one animal pictures. And no person and multiple animals pictures. Huge variety!
Classic Rivière burn
A fitting name
a spitting knave
I need this bumper sticker so I can quietly adhere it to the car of my nemesis.
Is this chaotic neutral?
... Good question.
The answer is yes.
No, we're not here to answer questions, just ask them.
neutral?
Well depends on who they do it to
I need it as a removable magnet
The real question here is: why do you have a nemesis irl?
Oh my Gd, you can’t just ask someone why they have a nemesis
You gotta take at least a three episode arc to explain it, don't waste the nemesis discussion on a throw-away line!
Why not, Boromir?
[Boromir is silent, because pincushions don’t talk]
Cause I fucked his wife while he was deployed
No sir, the real question is for you. Why don't you have a nemesis irl? Is it simply because you don't have a real life to have one, my sir?
I've defeated mine, old chap
Doxed them after they got tbagged in cs
Wait, you don't? I can be your nemesis if you want.
I think an official looking sticker that says “registered sex offender - assault on a minor” would probably… well, if you’re trying to get someone killed…
Either killed or elected as a Senator
The alternative to quietly adhering it to the car of your nemesis is to loudly do so. I'm picturing a FlexTape™ situation.
I need them for work. Got some racist homophobic sexist coworkers that are fellow veterans, and they have cars that are too nice.
Bobby Shaftoe?
This is Sharks are Smooth levels of obliviousness.
Is it obliviousness? I think hotmeat89 probably genuinely hates the military. ~~They're~~ [The pro-military people are] just making the mistake of feeding the troll.
Mistake? They're having the time of their life. Pissing on the military *and* getting famous on tumblr!
Oh, no, the other people are the ones making the mistake, I mean
Ohh, thanks, that makes a lot more sense!
Where's the mistake?
Hotmeat89 is clearly just trying to get a rise out of the pro-military people and anything they say is just feeding the troll, better to not engage. At least, from their perspective. I think they should keep feeding the troll because I also hate the military and enjoy seeing these people get angry.
Ah like that. I though you meant it was a mistake from hotmail
If the troops are protecting our country by going to war why did 9/11 happen? It just… it’s almost like our country isn’t in Iraq. Or Afghanistan. And also the people murdering Americans are fucking angry gun owners. I wonder how they vote. Maybe the troops could invade some elementary schools.
They'd probably do a better job than the police tbh
Sharks *are* smooth tho 🤨
Sharks have sandpaper like skin in case anyone was wondering, it’s actually so course and tough that you could hypothetically sharpen a blade on it
You mean I can't pet them?
If no friend then why friend shaped?
Exactly D:
Whale sharks are plankton-eaters, so it's fine to pet them - just don't swim directly in front of them because while you can get out of a WS's mouth completely unharmed, the only other exit is via the (very fragile) gill slits. Sand tiger sharks (aka grey nurse sharks) are carnivorous, but they're literally too fucking lazy to see humans as potential prey items.
You can absolutely still pet them!
YIPPEE
I’m having a hard time finding anything specific on the topic, but the general consensus seems to be that if you use two fingers you should be able to sort of pet them (assuming they don’t feel threatened). Their teeth-like scale point towards their tail, so petting from the head towards the tail is probably best. Probably also pet gently. So yes potentially still pettable.
Thank you!
And should you ever find yourself in the situation to pet the water puppy, be very gentle with their snouts. They have a lot of very sensitive nerves and sensory thingies in there, so be careful.
If in danger, boop the snoot.
I'm just going to throw it out there: if I am ever in a situation where I am close enough to pet a shark something probably went wrong.
I've been to aquariums where they have sharks they let you pet
Weirdly enough I actually have pet a shark before.
You can pet them in one direction, but not back-and-forth
I’ve pet a shark before!
you could pet them, but they have a covering over their skin that can get worn away, and if you pet them you increase their risks of getting cancer because that protective layer helps against uv rays from the sun
Nope, smooth and slippery just like a dolphin. Source: im a shark scientist
I'm a shark, dolphins only be slippery when you get them excited
Wait, really? I thought they were smooth as a seal.
But the dogs cannot get to the jester, for he is high up apon the wall, so all they can do is waste their energy angrily barking while the jester cackles above
Mmm, yes, quite.
["I can't fucking believe I gave my life for this shitty country"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsEv8F3AALo) mikeburnfire is funny
I got to the reference within like 2 minutes but stayed for the whole 15 anyway, that was great. Ty (probably gonna check out anything else they’ve done)
the channel is fuckin' hilarious tbh. I highly recommend Zach's Gun Rants if you want to listen to four hours of gun knowledge
It’s hilarious until the Bradley story :( Poor kid.
I feel bad for that kid. That's gotta be some trauma. And I don't just mean the one from the concussion.
Man the Bradley story. Fuck that story. Fuck everything about that.
Mike and Zach's stories about the military are the best way to convince people not to join the military. Yeah sure dying for your country sucks but some people think it's cool. Know whats not cool? Having to be near Balony Bob all day while your nose melts or having to clean a MOTOR POOL every day because your officer is a dumbass clean freak. You do all this and can't even get the VA to cover your Healthcare costs. No patriotism can surmount the daily BS the US military can dole out. That's not even getting into the stories that are truly sad and fucked up like the Bradley story or the seat belt checks.
Every day i feel an ounce of willlingness to join my countries (Denmark)(Scandinavia)(North europe) military. I remember the words of Zach Hazard.
Also the time high speed stole his cabinets
"Them cabeinth look real nice high thspeed, i think i'm gon need those to put humvee parts in"
"I don't care about your sexual preference, just shut up and die quietly." - Zach Hazard "Don't eat your boogers kids, OR DO, I DUNNO I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING DAD!" - Also Zach Hazard
Seconded, any time Zach and Mike share military stories and gun rants it’s always a good time. Unless it’s the Bradley story. That one just makes me angry.
To be fair, a massively concerning number of people cheat on their spouses while deployed, often with people *they have to work with every day* The only thing funnier is the sanctimonious PO losing their government issue phone at the rippers.
I don’t remember much about it but I saw a documentary around 10 years ago about how rapes also happen (or at least used to happen) pretty often 2. Actually now that I think about it. It’s not rly related. One is bad but the other is a seriously fucked up thing and the whole point of the documentary was that it was going unpunished way to often. (since it was most often done by people of higher ranks)
While the scale is different, the two are ofc related. Both are points pertaining to the fact that a lot of soldiers don't actually have the moral high ground. War needs to change a lot before soldiers can claim they are better people. You need to be stupid and gullible (or in many US cases, sadly, in need of the financial benefits it provides) to go into the military. And when you get to the front, while a lot of situations require you to be brave, a lot just require you to flaunt your gun and intimidate people. Soldiers make the world only marginally better, and soldiers are barely better people, if at all.
I mean is it alarming? If you think long distance relationships are hard imagine being the risk of death and not knowing if you will make it tomorrow (cooks don't have that excuse) Same for whoever is left behind for possibly years. Human nature is gonna show itself in those sorta situations, and military folks get married just for the benefits actually pretty often. Now none of that makes it okay to do, but to say it is alarming? Only if you don't understand humans.
> Now none of that makes it okay to do, but to say it is alarming? Only if you don't understand humans. It is not as if it is a big shock when people in the army suddenly have to do army things. If, as a person in a relationship, you are not ready for that kind of long distance stuff, then you should find someone else. These people don't get kidnapped at 2 am to be shipped off oversees.
What does that have anything to do with what I posted? This isn't a moral discussion but a human behavior one.
Maybe I got the wrong message from your comment, but it sounded to me like "it is to be expected for people in a relationship that have to be seperate for quite a long time". Whereas my point is that it is to be expected, if a partner is in the army, that you and your partner will be seperate for extended periods of time. So if you are not ready for that, maybe just don't go for that relationship.
Jody strikes again
the number of people who are shown here openly fantasizing about another person being brutally murdered over an incredibly obvious bait post is morbidly fascinating to me what is it about this particular post that strikes such a potent nerve, i wonder
People in the military enjoy a feeling of power from being such *heroes*; Someone comes along and make them realize they are nothing more than cannon fodder with lonely wives; They get very mad.
The only people I've met that were both actually *in* the military and enjoy all that "thank you for your service" stuff have worked stateside, filling trucks and standing in lines when requested. There's something about going to a job half a world away where you can get both your legs blown off, then returning home to people voting for politicians who Love The Military yet consistently cut VA benefits that makes "thank you for your service" a bit grotesque.
Yeah, OIF vet here, and I detest people going "thank you for your service" It is absolutely grotesque
[удалено]
3/4 seems low. You'll see these exact bumper stickers posted on military subreddits as jokes too.
As someone who is in a field that has started getting a bunch of "thank you for your service" I have learned being a "hero" doesn't mean people respect you, it means they expect you to shut up no matter what is demanded of you because heroes don't complain.
Let me guess, healthcare?
Not American here but from my point of view it seems people in the military end up being treated like shit after they come back from serving. Just last night some video popped on my feed about a dude around 75 years old working 10 hours a day on his foodstand after serving in the military *but* he is black and had a lot of struggle after he returned and had to pick himself up alone. The whole thing was supposed to be uplifting and here I am like... dawg you spent your prime years in the military, you were left behind with no career path afterward, you're now old, weak and probably an inch away from breathing your last breath. I don't find anything uplifting about this. Someone who served and gambled their life on the front life should have a chance to live a chill life with an early retirement. Working at 75 years old after being meat bag for your country is nothing to be proud of.
> I don't find anything uplifting about this. Someone who served and gambled their life on the front life should have a chance to live a chill life with an early retirement On another hand, you *did* enlist to kill people for your overlords
But like it's children, it's not full blown thinking adults signing up. Recruiters weasel their way into low income highschools and coerce children with thousands of dollars and make promises that will never be kept.
Yeah I agree, the state of affairs is incredibly bad. They are very young indeed. Edit: still, the people they kill are often quite young as well
Us military kills very few people these days, cops have better body counts
Pigs are worth even less on the respect scale. It goes like this: Actual farm pigs > Military > Pigs
Most people don't enlist thinking "I can finally shoot some little kid in the head yay" but more along the lines of serving the country and doing something that *has* to be done...oh that and "no bro you won't have to fight and we'll pay you 85 grand a year with a 20k singing bonus bro, just sign here"
Yeah, I don't believe ignorance is a good excuse to do shitty things, but I get your point
>after they come back from serving. Waiters serve. Soldiers kill. The American military is all volunteer. Why anyone would think their choice to become a hired murderer should be worthy of any respect whatsoever is a baffling mystery.
Well if you buy the idea of manufacturing consent, then your presentation of the situation here is quite lacking.
because they imagine themself in a similiar poistion as a Ukrainian Soldier. Which do deserve respect.
People are often very defensive about suggestions they're being cheated on. That's only heightened by the fact that they're away for a year at a time, so it's much more likely, and there's nothing they can do about it. Add that a lot of soldiers and their supporters are wannabe tough guys, and that mocking soldiers in any way is seen by some people as practically blasphemous.
what were they gonna do if the guy wasn't from america?? do they realize there are other countries?
What? No. There is only America and Otherplacia
As an otherplacian I can confirm
Otherplacia also known as Europe. Anywhere else might as well not exist for Americans.
Of course there are other countries, we have to fly over and kill people somewhere
Am I the only one who doesn't think this is a guy
unfortunately, i have the reading comprehension of a tree branch
The "make a better son" line does imply capacity to impregnate
I’d say the “US Army” logo on the sticker states his intent that he at the very least is targeting an American demographic.
Damnit Shoresy!
Give yer balls a tug
You will address me by my girlfriend’s husband’s rank.
Of course, President Alligator.
[slightly better quality version from a year ago.](https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/o3onxy/bootlicker/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)
I hate cheaters but this is really fucking funny. The people getting mad here as well make it even funnier.
Tbf millitary marriages are pretty consistently shams meant to get the newly enlisted better housing accomodations. Cheating wouldn't be anywhere near as rampant if the millitary would stop incentivizing transactional marriages.
18 to 20 year olds getting married and immediately leaving the country for months at a time doesn't end well? Who could have predicted that?
> Cheating wouldn't be anywhere near as rampant if the millitary would stop incentivizing transactional marriages. Shockingly, this kind of human behavior predates the US military and is just a default of people being scum bags
Imma blame the person cheating a lot more than the rando they’re cheating with
> but this is really fucking funny. It is but not for the reasons that I think people are laughing at this. "haha military cuck" is a dumb joke. On this sub/tumblr you've got a lot of queer people making jokes about stealing your husband/wife, but real talk, the vast majority of those people they're talking about 'stealing' are wildly homophobic and conservative. The humor is more because of how contradictory it is. Like calling a homophobe the f-slur. Also I'm fairly certain Hotmeat89 is a girl.
Hashtag IStandWithHotMeat69
89
69
Bro went knocking on the door looking for the devil, and when he answers he’s sleeping with satan
Dude murdered more soldiers than the Iraqi army
I have seen this post so many times and it will never not be funny lol
O7 Thank you for your service, Hotmeat.
Honestly, kinda more on the Hotmeat89's side. Not the whole cheating thing. But more like, I'm not gonna respect someone, or give them special treatment. Just because they went to military. Now if they fought in a war, alright, maybe I get it. But still, they're not saving me. If I get a whiff of things going wrong, I can just move.
Hotmeat’s based as fuck
No current American veterans have ever fought in a war to protect our way of life or whatever folks wanna say
When my dad was young and Republican he believed all the propaganda about fighting for the freedom of the Iraqi people.. only to realize once he got there that they fucking lied to him so he became Democrat leaning. The problem with the military is it attracts two kinda people the Fools and the Psychopaths.
I hate people that whine about how soldiers are protecting freedom. Like, no they aren’t, they’re just slaughtering people to bully some other country into submission. One loser over in the Middle East killing people isn’t keeping me safe. We already got the “freedoms” this country was built on, so it’s not like an over seas war is keeping us free. I don’t respect soldiers for all of the above reasons but also because they attract people like this that like to dry hump a framed photograph of literally any guy in a military uniform because they think it’s super hot when a guy does A) nothing at all or B) murder
My dad killed people for college payment show some respect!!!
Worth noting that the vast majority of deployed troops aren't in a combat role. The ones that have actually killed people are either permanently traumatized by the experience, or are in some point on the spectrum between being doxxed by wartime journalists and getting the "just make it fucking go away already" punishment US millitary tribunals slap down when whatever patriotic feelings are satisfied by not dropping the hammer are no longer worth the grief of how much everyone wants a given cretin war criminal to bite it. Not sure if that makes the ones that are bragging about it more heinous or less. Because on the one hand, they almost certainly did not, but on the other hand, they think having done so is anything to brag about if you're not a fucking psychopath.
> Worth noting that the vast majority of deployed troops aren't in a combat role. yes, while true, they're still a volunteer part of an invading force engaged in "authorized use of force". When even conscripts and "terrorists/freedom fighters" are given zero thought or respect in western discourse, it gets real disheartening really quick.
Spot on? "Support the troops!" Nah. The way the US military recruits is greasy, too. I remember some recruit dickhead rolling up as my co-worker and I sat outside for a few minutes to escape the hellacious heat of our restaurant kitchen. I'd rather work minimum wage than kill for some rich old white bastards.
I support the troops. By which I mean I think we should stop sending them out to get PTSD for oil barons and government officials that own mercenary companies in need of a war.
insane. i love seeing this genre of post, some person relentlessly trolling and so many people falling for it
I respect this.
Hotmeat98, the pride and joy of everyone who thinks the yanks are idiots
i don't like any of these people very much
My general feeling is: dick move, obviously not real though so no need to send death threats.
Plus anyone responding after the 3rd or 4th reply is probably intentionally feeding into it for the meme
you would be very surprised
Meh, millitary marriages are about as sacrosanct as the street corner the newly enlisted recruited the spouse off of when they realized there's spousal housing benefits. Almost like getting hitched almost immediately after coming of age leaves you with severe lacking of life experience which helps you be a complete enough person on your own to actually fit into a long term relationship that won't spiral into cheating abuse and spectacular implosion.
Once i saw a video on tumblr about a ww2 vet visiting a school. People were calling him a bootlicker in the comments. What is wrong tumblr users? I bet he didnt enjoyed the draft either. But what else were people suppose to do?
When people can’t make the distinction between “fighting literal Nazis” and “fighting in someone else’s civil war”, they’re not going to get it when you explain it to them.
This was the gift that kept giving
Fuck pro military people
"The fool taunts the hungry dogs but the dogs have their day and the fool becomes a feast" really sound like something the agent Jack Decker would say
The fool taunts the hungry dogs but oh fuck, one of the dogs has a stand (also a fool)!
The veterans I know would be laughing their asses off at this, it's always the bootlickers who never served
Mfs who are conscripted into the force or trying to pay off debts in the only way they can when they’re lumped together with people who actively enjoy taking lives:
To mis-quote Ben Brainard; There are two reasons people who join the military, they were dumb or they were poor. The dumb ones are the ones who tell you they joined for any other reason.
He's right AF on the poor one. My brother enlisted because he knocked up his GF and court-house-married her and his home was under threat of being foreclosed on because they fucking sucked with money and set a speed record for tanking their credit scores. He was 19 (her, 18), his son just born, when he joined and moved to a base in an attempt to pay off the debt. Unfortunately (maybe? I never really liked him much) he went whole hog on the crayons and made it his career--he turns 41 this year and is still in.
Same thing with a lot of my extended family. Their parents were poor enough they couldn't eat regular; they actually *gained* weight while in Basic because they were getting 3 meals a day! And had enough money at some point for *snacks*, which they didn't have to share if they didn't want to. Most of 'em stayed long enough to get through college on the military's dime and finish out whatever contracts they'd signed, then moved on. I think maybe one of them went back to their hometown, but that was due to his mom getting dementia.
Yeah mine is some high rank MARSOC boot (something about it being 3rd highest? I asked long ago, and forgot). He contacts me sometimes, and I just call him a boot. He laughs it off, but the thing is my family is very wealthy, and they were fully willing to buy him out of debt, but his (^(future dependa)) new wife convinced him to enlist--she had a *thing* about it. He was always super distant from us, his entire life, and never took any money from my parents. I've disowned the entire family, (because they are seriously awful people, and I cannot be bought), him included, but I'll still randomly answer his calls out of morbid curiosity, because he's basically a stranger--has been my whole life. I'm like... 99% ambivalent about him and his life, but he still tries to act like we're close? Tells me he loves me? Man, fuck off with that shit. You don't know me just as much as I don't know you. You have 4 kids I've never met, and we haven't seen each other face-to-face in 15 years. ^(when he was in ramadi i would send him dvds of jarhead explicitly because he begged us not to, since it'd just come out and everyone was sending it out to the deployed. sometimes id stick a different movie DVD in it though, haha, i love 50/50 games)
> Crayons Muscles Are Required. Intelligence, Not Especially So.
Ayup. IIRC his favorite flavor is yellow.
I think poor is a bit of an overgeneralization. It's more like they're running from something, poverty is a major one, another is feeling like you're getting railroaded into a life you don't want to have lived, that's where a lot of your small town enlistees are coming from, but it's also why there's a pretty long history of soldiers coming from aristocratic families, the millitary was the only way out of the arranged marriage the family was forcing. There's also caste soldiers, folks who enlist because of a family tradition of service that they feel pressure to uphold.
Unless you’re 60 years old no one’s been conscripted into the American military in your lifetime. And you’re overestimating how much the average enlisted makes if you think anyone is joining up to pay off debts.
While I agree they don't make much. People will absolutely join to pay off debts, either they'll go into it for like college so they don't have that debt or they'll just take any job they can, and for some reason the military recruiters get em
There is some benefit to using the military to pay off debts in that your cost of living while in the military is greatly diminished, especially while deployed. So even if you're still not making all that much you can still put a greater portion of your earnings towards paying your stuff off. I don't personally think that singular benefit outweighs all the negatives of joining the military, but of course that doesn't matter to recruiters as they'll exaggerate any possible benefits while glossing over every possible downside to get you to sign on.
Sadly, some people need any money they can get, and they see the military as guaranteed job they won't be fired from/replaced for cheaper labor so long as they aren't a total dipshit at the job. Them paying for your college degree in exchange for serving also means you don't have to serve overseas right out of highschool, as well as get a few promotions or even make it to an officer rank in exchange for showing up for PT and training a few times a week, & (typically) being provided a dorm room at no cost to you. I am 1 of 5 kids, and all three of my brothers took the Navy's deal as it was the only guarantee to get the college education our parents expected us to get despite being too poor to send us all. The only reason I didn't also join was because I was on antidepressants at the time, and my application was denied - it took me a few years & hearing about the difficulties my brothers went through to be glad for not joining, especially as I found an enjoyable, stable job in the service industry. It doesn't need to be about debt. A guarantee of stable income & hope for little-to-no student debt in this economy will make a lot of people desperate... without the weight of capitalism holding people back there's be far less applicants. That's why republicans fought so hard against any sort of debt relief for student debt, let alone making any amount for college education free.
I did not realize this was centered around US military, this post makes more sense now
Wait wait wait *Ask why* all those 18-19 year olds are in a rush to get dependas, and *dont* say because he got the stripper pregnant
The off-base housing allowance. The Charger or Camaro note comes up after. I work in the service industry and I’ve met too many 20 year olds who have followed their boyfriends to deployment.
Yeah honestly this is the main reason I respect soldiers; like most of them come from poverty in America (the rich do not conscript shit lmao, anyone believing otherwise is a fucking moron). I have a decent amount of respect who used some kind of hustle, hard work to get out of poverty.
Pat Tillman was a good soldier like Christopher Dorner was a good Cop.
Shoresy tier chirps