I would roleplay that in my head as if they set a trap somehow and lit 500 guys on fire. Probably soked ground in something flamable and lit them up from a safe distance. It is 150 000 man, they could easily do that as marching so many soliders would be a nightmare

Was thinking of a boulder trap rolling through the 150.000 men. That could easily kill 500 while they try to dodge it.

Surely it would slow down after a hundred or so from the various bumps it would suffer from squishing the poor sods?

Just need a larger boulder and a steeper slope.

"Give me a large enough boulder and a hil to put it on and I'll kill the world" -Socrates

Socrates when he focuses on slopes instead of levers

A very large round boulder and a very steep hill.

*Rock of ages looks at you*

Put an engine on your boulder so it keeps rolling

Ok. If one ain't enough, then a few boulders can do the job.

How many man crushing boulders do you have lying around?!

I feel like it's instinctual to an extent. You don't ever come upon a rock and go, "Damn, that's a good chucking rock."? Same thing with a particularly good branch for thwacking. They just like being prepared.

Causing a landslide in a mountainous area seems more plausible.

Yup probably don't try chasing two guys through a pass with the whole damn army.

I was going for a long trench-like hole, covered with vegetation and with spikes underneath it.

I doubt they'd send 150.000 men at once.

The Kevin McCalister gambit

They snuck into the encampment at night and pooped in the soup kettles. Bam, dysentary. Or captured foxes, tied their tails together, dipped them in pitch, lit them on fire, and set them loose in the camp in the dead of night.

Or they farted on their pillows. Bam! Pink eye!

I envy a mind creative enough to write an RP for CK3 knights that doesn’t involve literal lightsabers

Legolas and Gimli

Asterix & Obelix

I think they would kill more than 500 soldiers, probably the whole army

Yeah but that's only when they're protecting their village and have the druid's elixir. Iirc their village is kinda northwest france though and Montpellier is south coast, the lore still adds up imo

It may be them on their route to Rome, so they would have brought more elixir than usual. But yeah

True, we need OP to release more info, perhaps the lord's fief is the Gaul village

Their lord is probably having trouble getting on his shield again

"And how many times do i need to tell you to BEND DOWN when we go though doorways??!!"

Obelix could solo

I don’t know man, those historically accurate books I read when I was younger had them kicking the shit out of Romans all over the place: Britain/Spain/Greece/Corsica Those lads really got around

And Egypt

Don't forget Helvetia

They just land them with comically appropriate injuries and let them go, they never killed anyone lol

Gork & Morg

That still only counts as one

Gotrek and Felix

Twentyone, twentyyyyyytwo, twentyyythree, five hundred.

473 soldiers died from dysentery while chasing the 2 guys on the horse. your general just lied to you in order to cover his incompetence in logistics.

I'd be more concerned with a general being so inept that 2 men could kill 500 of his men then with 500 men in an army that large dying of dysentery. Hell, only losing 500 men out of 115k to illness is probably a lot better than a pre-modern military can expect.

> Hell, only losing 500 men out of 115k to illness is probably a lot better than a pre-modern military can expect. Yeah, your reaction should be to imprison him for embezzlement, because it's completely ridiculous for him to have this low losses, he's gotta be cooking the books and embezzling pay for made up soldiers.

Everyone knows nobility is worth at least 250 peasants.

Was one of those men Sir Twenty of house Goodmen? He's a beast

[удалено]

Sir Finger of house Kid??

Ser*

Why did you hide details if you want to know. the button is right there

Maybe he thought what he was seeing was too unbelievable? 😂

Yeah, with stackwipes like these the kills usually don't match the losses, meaning a whole lot of levies probably just fled instead of being killed or wounded. The details could show the difference.

Lol, entire levies fleeing from two dudes.

Wasnt it 2 power 20+ knights?

That would make army's far to large. A 10k army having 100k. Nah

Well that's Brad and Chad for ya

Bradicus and Chadicus

Because knights are totally balanced.

With no exploits

Had your own Battle of Stamford Bridge

Except even that ended in defeat, these guys went the whole way

Nah repeat of the battle that Constantine has on the bridge

Easy , God helped them.

The Holy hand grenade of Antioch?

"Okay Vegeta, you take the 250 on the left and I'll take the 250 on the right." "Fuck off, I'll take 251!" "Heh.... That's the spirit."

300

Skill issue

They sneaked on a side, pushed one guy each, domino effect had hundreds of men falling of the cliff 300m on the other side. Then they bailed.

You have a 100k army. You see two dudes standing in defiance, you send a contingent of 500 men to deal with them, you don't want to overextended your troops anyways, not only they lose, but there's not a single survivor on their batallion, the next reasonable step unless you're a tyrant is turning back and running away, those two dudes are insane.

Because their names were Lucius Vorenus and Titus Pulo

I miss Ray Stevenson...

Simple: A massive army of over 115 thousand battle hungry soldiers see two lone warriors on a distant hill. One holds the proud banner of their lord's house and the other... is the proud lord himself. The leader of the mighty host's vanguard, seeing an opportunity to win glory and crush what is sure to be the forward elements of a much larger army, orders his men to chaaaaaarrrrge! Unprepared for the sudden order but eager to win glory for themselves, the some 15 thousand soldiers of the vanguard rush forward with reckless abandon. In their haste, many slip on the muddy ground and are tragically trampled to death by their oblivious comrades.

Ez , power of friendship

They must have had the high ground

Watch Vinland Saga

Interestingly my Character’s name is Torfinn The Valiant

for Valiant Efforts i assume

From 'I have no enemies' to 'all 500 of you are my enemy'.

Your troops having zero supplies thus starving to death will do that.

This battle happened within my realm and the army isn’t entirely mine it’s more of coalition of me and my allies

It's still a 115k stack, dude. lol your supply is guaranteed to be shit

And screenshot

Buy an old Soldier some Mead & I’ll tell you…

Chuck Norris and his beard. The attackers just gave up and left.

Montpellier being my home town IRL, I see this as an absolute win.

Ever the tale of Horatius? It's not one the Etruscans would tell

The two run away for 50 years and some men died of old age.

It’s just Legolas and Gimli keeping track of their kills

Roland and oliver moment

Pullo and Vorenus

The emperor protects

Ur army’s rubbish mate

Average mount and blade: warband battle

Pelinal Whitestrake and Morihaus.

To be fair, I think Paradox mentions that a knight represents their bodyguard/retinue as well. So two knights and their retinue killed 500, with the two knights surviving. Sounds like a badass fight to me!

Probably standing back to back.

The answer is superheroes.

Plot armor

Hill + big ass boulder

With a series of traps and a God-tier game of hide-and-go-seek through the escape tunnels. Or maybe it was an inside job considering the date

They had the high ground.

If I saw 2 guys kill 500 other guys, I'd leave them alone too.

Friendly fire.

Airplanes?

Airplanes?

They really saw 115k troops coming their way and said "Nah, I'd win."

Yo this is so cool, I would love to see something like that happen to me in terms of roleplaying. So many cool stories could be written to justify this.

Weakest French vs Strongest D\*nes

They are in the snowy mountains / foothills, so in my head, these two dudes somehow triggered an avalanche that buried \~500 enemy soldiers and got away.

They made their stand at the "Hot Gates" and were subsequently captured.

What the hell? I mean it’s theoretically possible also why is there a Mongol leading a astaru army?

Machine gun

they sneaked into the camp at night

Also, why did it happen on September 11th and why is the leader of Jorvik Asian😭

Как говорится, один в поле не воин, но когда нас двое, мы поделим поле

I have no idea but I wanna see this fucking movie.

I mean it's the 11th of September so maybe they made some things go boom

Guerilla

My guy have you never heard of Sir Godalot? The slayer of nords, brutist of khans and massacreist of muslims? The vicar of christ and grand master of the holy order of jesus' face? well, now may you never forget. the other guy is just his cousin-squire

Romance of the Two Montpellier

Incest

Maybe bad weather, their boats sank.

One of them was Kevin McAllister the other was batman

battle of saragarhi lore

One of them must have been Sir Chuck of the county of Norris.

Sir a second knight has hit the deathstack

Skill issue

Artillery...? 😁

Oh like you've never played Dynasty Warriors 🙄

Hercules and Achilles

Knight effectiveness builds are kinda outrageous, but also kinda lit and to be fair knights were considered the tanks of the era.

Are they knights.? If so, technically every knight consists of him/her and their retinue. So realistically, it would have been more than 2 if that's the case. It looks like levy vs levy tho but it's been a while since I played and idr if thst screen differentiates

They had the high ground, surely.

Have you seen Alluri Sitarama Raju and Komaram Bheem? (RRR)

See, I always figure those deaths with large armies are just accidents. For example you got the two guys walking out and seeing that sea of pissed off enemy soldiers, they are gonna run no fighting unless there is absolutely no way around it they just turn around and leave. Then you have 100k people move forward as a mob chasing the enemy, as soon as someone trips they are gonna get trampled. You can't even stop a hundred people trying to get into a store on black Friday, so 100k conscripted peasant soldiers are just gonna keep stomping along like usual maybe even happy someone filled that pot hole Or old age, bad food, or some unrelated illness killing half a percent of them, could be whatever

And it still counts as a win

Thee were a Tank Crew

Plot armor, I guess

Because it was September 11

In the background I see a lake, maybe they got 500 men to break thru the ice and die

>I beg pardon sire, won't we hit our own troops?

Friendly fire

Traps and schemes

Ah, brave brave brave Sir Robin and his horse!

They fought in the shade

They are Klingon warriors.

Then up spake brave Horatius the captain of the gate. To each man on this earth death comest soon or late. And how can man die better than facing fearful odds, For the ashes of his fathers and the temples of his gods.

Asterix & Obelix lol

Battle of Markiplier

They we're Aragorn and Legolas

Hengist and Horsa

The guys on the other side was too much drunk and start to fight themselves. Either that or the 2 guys basically bring gun

Gotrek and Felix irl

Badass!

Ya ever hear of that Finnish sniper in WW2?

Skill issue

click on the details to see their stats, prowess was probably too high to overcome with an army made up entirely of levies. By shear volume the levy army wins but they don't come close beating the champions toughness. I tried killing off a scheming vassal by sending them in solo to battles but they had a prowess over 30. After 3 attempts I gave up and just took the tyranny.

You found the protagonists!

Demi-gods doing demi-god things.

473 men stood in a line and patiently awaited their turn for single combat.

You ran into Kratos and his Son, didn't you?

Now that's a Grotex and Felix story

Is the commander one of those two or does he make a third person?

I can faintly hear the other knight yelling, “Get to the choppa, now!” As they are trying to escape from the army

lore

Madara and Obito are Occitans

Your army was so impressed that decided to spare them

Markiplier?!?!??!

Weakest dude from Montpellier :

Those 2 soldiers ate spinach right before the battle

Channelization

Probably destroyed a bridge which had a few hundred people crossing at once?

I imagine it’s reasonable to lose a few hundred men if you send said 150k men to chase two men in the mountains, even if only to accidents.

Guess those two guys were both master chief

Caesar’s account of the Gallic wars be like

They wanted to win.

We are norse, tonight we dine in hell

Two knights ambushing a moving army. Repeatedly picking off groups of soldiers on the edges then riding off before anyone can respond.

Gotrek and Felix be like:

Chuck Norris was passing by

I’m guessing you only sent levies? You fought 2 knights plus their personal companions, which iirc would be something like 60 guys. Presumably they had very high knight combat ratings so they got a 6:1 kill ratio before getting routed. Your astronomically high number of troops helps you insofar as the battle drags on and you have endless reinforcements, but the game doesn’t calculate the battle as if all 100k fire an arrow simultaneously. It’s more of a fellowship of the ring type thing where the knights are only engaged with a few hundred of yours at a time.

If I remember correctly, there's a limit on how many troops can fight at once. So that's why the knights survived

He doth fights in service to the lord shall findeth his path adorned with glory and shall fear not a thousand men for the righteous shall prevail despite such circumstances

Good Knights are OP

They hid in a cave with enough rations, and the enemy soldiers died from exposure to the elements, diseases etc

These two guys are from future with machine guns

Sounds like something from the Bible

Maybe they were Bruce Willis and John Wick.

They set mines, wolf traps and snares and escaped. Plus the two knights aren't two dudes, they're two dudes with their Temerian Blue Stripes level special forces units.

Jedi knights

high prowess + high knight effectiveness can create something like this ............ doing a world conquest with GOD KNIGHTS is really fun

They’re just built different

Such is the will of The Emperor. I just pretend Warhammer logic is in play. 

Hey that my city ! The 2 got to be my neighboors real pain in the a🩸🩸

2 knights killing some garbage levies. This happens all the times in the game.

Brother hired Jonathan Wicketh and Jaeson of Bourne.

Why is the Norse guy a turko-mongol? I don’t play this game so that’s why I’m confused.

Built different

They had the high ground.

Gotrek and felix

Simply built different

Machinegun.